My wife of 35 years died six days ago after a long illness. I didn’t start out to write this but, when I started writing her eulogy, I found that what I really wanted to say didn’t belong in a eulogy and couldn’t be read in church. What I wanted to say speaks to the core of manhood and is better suited for ROK.
These thoughts have been on my mind the last few months, but readers will need background. Writers for ROK fall into two groups. Those in the larger group evolved over eons of time by random mutations and natural selection. They exist to propagate their genes. Their social agenda focuses on this, getting better with learning and experience.
I’m in the smaller group, created in the image of God with a body, a soul and a spirit.
The parts of a man
My body is standard issue male. Pretty simple stuff, until puberty began and my body responded according to the timing of various chemicals and demanded sexual activity with females. It poked out toward the young ladies, all on its own and without warning. I learned to control these imperative urges and tell myself “no, not yet,” as all men must, if they are to be men and not beasts.
My body does not have a soul, rather my soul is me and I have a body. My soul is that spark of self-awareness that knows itself as “I”. It distinguishes men from the animals.
I also have a spirit which holds the sum total of my memories, life experiences, learned behavior, fears, desires and so on. It determines who I am and how I behave. I believe manhood is embedded in my spirit, my body is merely masculine.
So as a man, I am a soul, currently residing in a piece of meat, and guided by a spirit. As a man I am responsible for my own behavior. I have responsibility to my community and to those around me. The meat doesn’t care a whit about these things, but the soul controls the meat and the meat does my bidding, because I am a man.
To paraphrase SFC Gregory Stube (ret.): A man defines himself, not by what he does with his body, but by what he does with his soul.
Loss
I used to love, lead, protect and provide for my wife, but no more. The link between my wife and I was existential, and when it was broken, my existence was diminished. I am incomplete; my universe has holes in it, my bed doesn’t feel right, the air sounds different. I am a widower and I understand what I had, by the shape of the hole. But I find that what I lost is much more than what I gained when we married. Where did it come from?
I remember the first time I saw her. She was young, lithe, beautiful, and full of life. And she was not mine. She was not available. But two years later she moved to my town and we began dating. The meat rose up and the spirit wavered but the soul beat it down and we waited and obeyed “Thou shalt not” until…
In due time, “until” arrived and, in an ancient ceremony, her father, her family, our Church and my family, agreed that We Shall. The old, dour, sour church ladies gave her enticing undergarments in gaily wrapped boxes, along with much encouragement. That night, for the first time for each of us, We Did. Without guilt, fear, or shame. And it was awkward and it was wonderful and we were one flesh for over 35 years.
That first year we shared our bodies on an old lumpy bed and on the beach and wherever was convenient and private. We got pretty good at it but, in time, as our souls grew together, the two meats became sated and passions cooled. I began to wonder if this was all there was.
Then we got pregnant. She grew great with child, her belly stretched, her breasts grew and her face puffed. He was born and our lives were never the same. The young lithe body I had married was now a loosely packaged, jiggly, wiggly mother and, contrary to my expectations, my desire for her grew. We learned to Do quietly so as not to wake the baby. And It was better than ever.
We added more children and experienced PTA and sports and learner’s permits and graduations and first jobs and lost jobs and there was that call in the night for bail. Our souls grew together and we trained the meats and experienced the best sex ever. The older we got and the more wrinkles we grew, the closer our souls became.
A pure love
Our brood began moving out on their own and we grew older together. The sex became less frequent but more satisfying. Then the cancer struck and the slow end began. Her body deteriorated but my love for her increased even more.
At the end there was nothing that would interest a younger man, even if drunk, but to me, she was a goddess. The mother of my children, my darling, my soulmate, my wife.
So, only after she is gone do I realize that my desire for her, which had once been the craving for her young body, had become the desire for the soul that had become intertwined with mine.
Our love had passed the physical, becoming spiritual, and the joining of our aging bodies amplified the joining of our spirits and our souls were satisfied.
I think I now understand why God created us body, soul, and spirit, and also male and female.
If a man never gets beyond his body’s desire for young flesh and settles down with his life mate, he will never be satisfied. He will be like an athlete who eats the frosting off the top of the cake and is not hungry when the steak is served. He doesn’t grow strong, he gets sickly.
Celebrate and support your body’s masculinity, but make your soul control your body and rule your spirit. That’s manhood.
Read Next: In Defense Of Marriage
Thank you for sharing with us. You’re a lucky man for having what you had and will carry those precious memories of your time with her until your time comes along. It sounds like you’re a man of faith so I’m sure you’re looking forward to being reunited with her again one day soon. I also like your frosting vs steak analogy. I’ve always enjoyed frosting and have a bit of a sweet tooth. Those of us who didn’t marry the one we lost our virginity and continue have sex with multiple women have diminished ability to form the bond you are fortunate enough to have had with your bride. You had a pure and beautiful marriage from what you described. God bless you in your time of grief and keep looking forward to that Day of Glory my friend.
This is the kind of writing that drew me to this site in the first place–unbound by ideology, allowed to go into the darkness as well as the light, scared neither by love or hate–simply curious men sharing their own truths, no matter where it takes them. Nice work.
This is the best article Ive read on ROK.
It speaks volumes to what love can be, With the Right woman.
Dave Ramsey says agree on Faith and Money/budgeting and divorce rates will be less than 10%. Make children and enjoy the adventure. Without them, a mans life is incomplete.
“WE got pregnant.” -cringe
Yep. WE got pregnant. Any male of the right age can impregnate a female. What I meant by WE is that she bore the child but I bore the responsibility. I loved, provided for and supported her for her entire life. I bounced that first child on my knee, changed my share of diapers, took him camping and taught him to drive. I comforted his mother during his two combat tours in Iraq with the marines. He was a pall bearer when she died and he will bear me to my grave when I die. Yep. WE got pregnant!
Now run along and play with your little friends. This place is for men.
Loser
I like your style, Pete. And I like your article, it’s wisdom, which is what these little boys are in dire need of.
In my forties now trying to live a life similar to you. Thanks for the article. Perhaps you made it all look easy… you forgot your audience here. Its hard af. Awesome article, sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry about your loss, big guy. But wow… you can really write. Glad you are here on ROK and shared this with us.
Condolences brother. Go with God and stay strong for your family, yourself, and for her.
This reminds me of a great saying I use: My heart only has entrances. It doesn’t have exits. Whoever enters my heart remains in my heart forever.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on a life spent with your mate.
Your heart had better damn well have exits, these days. Mine has revolving doors installed. The West is now a purely transient place; nothing has validity or permanence. It’s our unfortunate reality and, it’s going to get a WHOLE LOT WORSE.
TRB,
I agree the west and America is full of moral decay. I stopped dating American women several years ago. I am dating a great Mormon woman across the border in Mexico. I became to disgusted with American women, and finally realized they just were not worth all the crap you had to go thru to try to have/keep a relationship with one of them. Young men please take our advise and start searching outside of America for a GF or wife.
Don’t marry a native speaker of English in an English-speaking jurisdiction.
#meneither
Sorry for your loss. Please write more. I’ll be passing along the link to several young men at my local church.
Yes. Modern man dissipates himself, pretending it to be morally neutral, across women who patina themselves as the maiden. But his roots never sink in, and every year that passes is a year lost, less energy, more frenetic.
I am grieved by your loss, but I know your faith will sustain you.
My condolences. Take care and keep well.
May my condolences bring you comfort and may my prayers ease the pain of this loss. I cant even imagine what it is like to lose someone you built a life together forever. Stay strong!
Great post,Pure love can exist,however in today’s clown world it’s harder to come by,hopefully things will change for the better
God bless!
Very touching story, my sorrow for your loss is only equaled by my gratitude for sharing this.
Sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story…
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your story hits so very close to home for me. It was almost my story. Like you and your wife, we found each other very young, without experience in the world or with the opposite sex. After too long of a wait, I found myself with a beautiful (8+) 19 year old virgin, and we had to learn about sex, love and the real world in a big hurry. We had known each other since she was in high school and I in college, but didn’t date seriously until much later. We were married in less than 6 months. We both came from slightly dysfunctional backgrounds, and quickly found out how much we needed each other.
The idea that “not all women are like that” is a running joke on men’s rights sites like this one, given the cynicism and betrayal that dominates the current state of relationships between men and women. But in at least a small number of cases – yours and mine, and some other lucky men’s lives as well – it’s true.
A few weeks after our 24th anniversary, we got the call, a cancer diagnosis, and a bad one. It took surgery and chemo, and 2 years waiting, thinking it was going to come back and kill her, followed by another 3 years of stress, hoping it was truly in the past, until the doctors were willing to release her and give us an all-clear. By God’s Grace, our story ended in victory, though things are never the same after a battle like that. We’ll celebrate 34 years together in a few months.
I’ve often said that a soul mate isn’t something you find for yourself, it’s something you become for your partner. I’m so very sorry you lost yours, and hope God brings you comfort until you’re together again.
This is not a men’s rights site.
beautiful wise article. Thanks for sharing it
A great article that has real substance and soul to it. I send you my deepest condolences for the sad loss of your treasured soul mate, but am confident you will be reunited with her in Heaven where there will be no more tears.
She sounds like quite the girl, Pete, The one that we’re all keeping an eye out for… Know that you’ll see each other again.
You’ve my deepest condolences.
How does one define soul and spirit as different entities? I’m just curious.
Like when a miserable soul lacks the spirit.
As I understand it, according to Hebrews 4:12, the Word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit. This says that the spirit and the soul are different entities contained within the triune being known as a human. The spirit can be understood as your mind, your memories and your consciousness. The soul is the undying part of every human. The existence of a soul is what separates us from the beasts, who lack understanding. It is very closely related to the spirit and your spirit and soul cling closely to one another; however when the body dies the spirit dies with it but the soul flees the dead body and is reunited with its Creator, for good or for ill depending on if you have (had) a relationship with Christ or not. At least that is my understanding.
Thanks Brewvet. I was going to answer but you beat me to it. Well said.
Thank YOU, Pete, for your heartfelt article and please accept my condolences for your loss. You are truly a King and by the grace of God you found your Queen. One day you will see her again.
If our soul is not our conscious awareness, how will we know if we’re in heaven or hell?
You day our senses and awareness are the spirit which dies, then how will we know where our soul is?
If our mind dies with our spirit, how will we perceive our soul in the afterlife? How can we perceive heaven or hell if our mind is gone? Our conscious is our existence and it dies as our mind.
I don’t get how you think we enter an afterlife without our mind and memory.
In Luke 16:19 there starts the story (not the parable, note) of the rich man and the beggar who died and it says that “in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torment…” This hell was not the “Lake of Fire” of the final judgement but hades or sheol which was separated from the Bosom of Abraham by a chasm. (This has to do with ancient Hebrew concepts of the afterlife) The man died yet he knew that he was in hell, or separated from God by the chasm Abraham spoke of in later verses. This to me shows that the spirit and the soul are closely related, but separate. The soul may encompass the spirit but the spirit does not contain the soul. I personally believe we will be conscious and have perfect recall of all our earthly actions. (Yikes!) If we have accepted Christ’s sacrifice then we will be deemed righteous through his atonement but if we have not then we will remain separated from God until the “Great White Throne Judgement”, where one’s soul will be cast into the Lake of Fire. If a soul has one sin on its record then that soul is not holy enough to be in the Kingdom of God. Only through Christ’s atonement can anyone become righteous (For all have sinned, etc.). So to say that the spirit is ENTIRELY our consciousness was, perhaps, a mis-communication on my part. I apologize for any confusion.
Thank you.
I don’t see how you can accept something when you’re simply doing what you’ve been told or relying on whats been taught to you. How is that genuine.
There is a very large difference between simply absorbing proffered dogma and searching the word before making up one’s own mind. I have heard many different ‘versions’ of biblical interpretation over the years. Some I have discarded out of hand, such as the belief that “As man is God once was and as God is man may become”, or that man needs human intervention by liturgy for the remission of sins. Why? Because I do not find those beliefs supported by the Bible. Other ideas I’ve listened to and considered before dismissing them for the same reason, such as infant baptism, (the belief that unbaptized infants were damned) or the so-called prosperity gospel. Then, finally, there were some that I heard and then I searched the Word and discovered that there was biblical evidence for them, such as those in the comments above. These I hold to be true. I don’t mean to turn this conversation into an ecumenical lecture or argument; all I wish to do is share my opinion which is not just regurgitating what one or another preacher says but is based upon careful study and cross referencing. If you “don’t see” you should ask yourself, do you truly want to see? Do you require definitive proof of God’s existence? There is none, and, as the play “Book of Mormon” states quite well, I believe that was what God was going for the entire time.
Makes sense. So essentially spirit = consciousness.
Also makes sense how the elites and transhumanists want to defy God by trying to digitize our “spirit/consciousness” and so we never “die” and face judgement (this isn’t something new; as the oldest trick ever told in Genesis). But truly it will never work because our soul is what God gave us first. Consciousness is incomplete without a soul. They will never succeed. YESHUA will come and the enemy will be cast out. SHALOM.
The soul is where the spirit resides and guides.
Condolences on your loss.
You’re lucky to have had what you had with your wife.
“If a man never gets beyond his body’s desire for young flesh…”
– That sums me up in a nutshell. And I know it will never change.
finding a girl nowadays that is worth marrying is next to impossible at least in the Western World. They all gave up their virginity to some Chad in high school or their freshman year of college. Almost no woman is morally pure anymore.
I was resigned to that as well. Then I moved to Europe. Turns out, not all of the west is totally devoid of single women that haven’t slept around. Shocking, I know. And if European women don’t float one’s boat, there’s plenty of opportunity in Asia as well.
Might want to consider getting out of Dodge. The water’s great! 🙂
Nobody is morally 100% pure….get overt it. No wonder you are bitter if you see the people that way. Also maybe many of these young highschool girls would remain virgins if young guys wouldn’t be pressuring them so much into sex. Don’t be a hypocrite.
ASTRO-ZOMBIE
The average white woman these days has sucked off 10 near-strangers by the time she settles for a Beta like you.
She has knelt in high school gyms and outside and a variety of places.
Her mouth has been the receptacle for the semen of callous Chads who later boasted to their bros about how they got a down and dirty blowjob someplace.
Only a Ju could take what was a beautifully written article, written from the heart of ones experience with his soul mate, and turn it in sewer garbage with your twisted, jaded comments that dont resemble much of the truth for anyone in America. No wonder youve been expelled 108x
RW you Brit Impostor
I was responding to Astro not the author of the previous post about virgins and not to the author of this article.
See, this is why you are useless as a (Possibly professional) British troll.
And again with the Levant thing. I suspect you could be employed by some Hard Left Orwellian Watch Group and be a Polish-Jew lawyer yourself in London for some Human Rights Group. You just lay on the anti-Semite shit far far too thick.
Me thinks possibly YOU YOURSELF are an English Jew of Polish extraction hired by Hard Left NGO watchdog groups to pose as a redneck here in order to file away potential right wing dissidents or insurgents.
If so, your verbal dexterity exceeds your worldliness. Time and again you give yourself away as a young naive Brit with English phrases and American cliches like “NFL Cheerleaders”.
You ain’t no American redneck hillbilly from Southern Ohio who is an implausibly Italian. Not a chance. You’re from Southern England and possibly of Polish Hebrew extraction yourself, “mate”.
RW
“Don’t Resemble the Truth for America”
See Chav, you are laying it on too thick again and outing yourself as a Brit.
@Austrohungarian…Wow bro, you are dumb, and you obviously don’t understand sex dynamics…you sound like a feminist (blaming men for women’s sluttiness). Women are some of the most selfish and horny creatures alive, and since we live in a country where everyone is equally free than they will have to be the ones that control their urges. Do you understand the 80/20 rule? When you have a handful of A-holes screwing everything than the only option the “good guys” have is either turning into an a-hole and screwing all the bitches too, or to marry a whore/die a virgin. It use to be that men would forcibly keep women in their place so that they themselves didn’t have to, but now that they are free it is up to them. So this whole “muh, if it wasn’t for men pressuring them to have sex” attitude is total bullshit. Men were designed to chase, women were designed to follow and resist men’s temptations. So I guess what you are saying is that good guys should just sit back and be virgins while chad screws the entire school? At what point do women have a responsibility to NOT make THEMSELVES a slut? Most women BTW are the ones throwing themselves at the Chad, most guys are not pressuring women to do shit.
WES
Darwinism and the Social Class
What is actually happening is that much of the white middle-class is “screwing down”.
The upper middle-class white women WILL control themselves and marry into a social class of males who expect a woman to have traditional values.
It is middle-class white females with IQ’s around the Bell Curve who will act out sexually, become sluts and destroy their market value.
This is simply one more symptom of a shrinking white middle-class.
Upper-class white women, of which there are few, can behave according to white traditions.
WES
You may not like libertarianism but this is simply modern Darwinism and the white middle class.
The stupid white sluts will either fuck themselves into jaded spinsters with no house and no kids and a dead evolutionary line or they will Mud Shark and have a baby or they will have a baby with some white Bad Boy Chad who has to be chased for child support.
As a result, they end up falling out of the middle class.
The upper, upper class whites will ignore the latest fads and marriages will be semi-arranged within their social class. As a result, the class system is codified and the middle-class shrinks.
WES
I have to ask a younger white man why white middle-class people are now behaving so stupidly.
Porn has ALWAYS been around. But white women of my generation-X, born 1974 or older-did not watch a porn tape at their Sorority House and start acting like huge slut.
Why is it that your generation is so malleable from the television set? What is wrong with you that you are so gullible? So naive?
You’re generation is so unwordly.
I gotta ask Wes. Why is your generation so stupid?
@Marz This is not Social Darwinism, this is what happens when you get libertarianism. Right now we are in a process of Dis-Eugenics. Libertarianism is the death of your tribe and the birth of the nihilistic pothead hippie. A Libertarian is the most pathetic thing I think any human could be. I could tell you right now, if there is one group of people who could actually make me join the Marxists, not because I agree with Marxist but out of spite, it would be Libertarians.
If you take the ideology of Black Live Matters and then replace “white people” with “government”, then you add even more selfishness, cowardice, and ignorance, well, then you have got the average libertarian. Libertarianism is literally a cancer that nations who have been rich for too long get. Just like the Romans in their last days…rich, arrogant, reliant on foreign people to do all their dirty work, and hoarders of wealth. The Germanic people who sacked Rome found nothing but piles of gold when they entered Rome, just imagine if those Romans had actually invested that money in their nation instead of just hoarding it and pretending that there was some divine right to their wealth and rule. A Libertarian is a person who has lost all pride, all honor, all patriotism; a people who have lost all the “mojo” that made their nation great in the first place; a people who have elevated themselves above their own tribe by giving their own personhood a certain type of divinity. I mean, have you actually listened to some of the nutcase things that Libertarian’s say? Not to mention, just like in the Ayn Rand quote I posted in a previous article, a libertarian thinks they are so righteous, so divine, and so “special”, that talking to them about anything involving patriotism, investing in your nation, or pursuing something as a tribe is pretty much pointless, and talking to a wall would be more productive.
@marz
It’s two factors.
First, inevitable decay. Genetics plays a huge role, but genetics (and epigenetics) change as a result of the environmental situation. Ie, a trait perfectly adapted to one clime, will be less adapted to another. This is also reflected in r/K theory, which you can read about on anonymousconservative.com . In essence, over time the scumbaggery in society will increase as resources increase.
The second factor is a result of the first. Part of scumbag behavior is to change the environment to reward and encourage scumbag behavior. Whether you want to believe in any of the various conspiracies, etc. there is no question that this manipulation is real, ongoing, and is grounded in hard science. Meaning its effective.
These two factors are what has degraded Western women, and is affecting all societies.
MATT
Most white middle-class girls have given blowjobs to 15 different guys by the time you kiss them.
Sometimes they blew the guy because they were drunk, other times it was a one night stand and a few times it was in a relationship.
When you meet the average white girl you have to remember just how many times she has knelt in Sorority house college parties or on grass at high school keg parties to randomly suck off some guy she thought was cute.
Many of them were Groids.
Think about that.
Your jewish Anti White seething and hatred is transparent, Mr Marz.
Im raising children that age now- late teens, and they are the minority and exception, not the rule.
In fact, I worry about my own childrens lack of awareness as far as sexual prowess goes. I was taken at 15 by a much older Senior. My 16 year old just went to his first party and car date. Home by 10pm His interests are far different than mine at that age, same with his group of peers. Academics and future-they are well aware of the strains and are working to accomplish goals. I had a fake id at 15 and was cruising bars. They are nothing at all like me.
RW
If you had a daughter, which you don’t because you are an adolescent Brit or Asian impostor, she would be sucking off groids to rebel against you.
Now you call me a Brit or Englander :0
Silly Hebew you.
Im as Buckeye as Buckeye gets, born and raised on Football, the manly kind, not feetsball, in Ohio, the state that gave birth TO Football. Of Italian, German and Irish stock. Done all there is to do in this state- from Walleye fishing Lake Eric- to hunting deer in the County of my birth place in Appalachia, in Athens County-also the poorest county in Ohio but one of the prettiest, and home to Ohio University.
Hobbies include hunting small game, deer, archery, shooting, fishing, building things with my hands- working on a wine rack now in my home.
Youre an utter tool and I pegged you at first glance for a degenerate Heeb.
RW
“Utter Tool”
Yeah, that sounds like a Brit to me.
Sorry, I just don’t buy you as an American. You toss in too many cliches and use to many words like “sport” “arse” and “utter”.
Come back on another avatar, old chap. You’re busted.
MATT
By the time a white woman is of marriage age she has sucked a load of dicks in some strange places.
She has blown that high school guy at a party because she was drunk and thought he was a Chad, or in my day, in a band.
She has sucked off males in clubs and cars and their frat houses.
More Ju projection, more discontent, more neurosis. Go see Dr Goldstein. Youre a mess.
The world is nearly as jaded as your own psychosis Mr Marz
RW
You’re not a middle-aged man with children, you are a frustrated 20-something adolescent who is probably British and living at home with your parents trolling this blog for shits and giggles.
You’re the same Brit who posted a few months ago that John Dodds out who was talking about the USMC. I’d lay money on that.
Moreover, you are a sad example of how the media and internet and economy have crippled young white men today. You are what, 21 or 23 or even 25? Yet I am sure you still live in the semi-detached house in Suffolk or Kent with your parents that you were raised in and your posts reflect a Brit who has had no exposure to outside life but the “telly”.
Its sad. When I was your age white men could still leave home and work and travel and had better things to do.
Your generation doesn’t.
Sadly, I might even put you older than your early twenties. You might even be pushing 30’s.
Very true, IF you only hang out in bars and clubs……wookin pa nub in all da wong pwaces.
RW
You mean like you do when your parents give you a bit of pocket money?
Sad thing is, you are not THAT young anymore. I’d put your age at 23 or 25 but you still live at home with your parents.
You’ve never traveled so you actually believe what you have seen on television of how the United States is depicted.
Stupid lower middle class Chav living in a semi-detached house with your parents.
Your generation is fucked.
Take your Lithium… you missed your dose today, Downer Doug, i mean Matt.
RW
Make sure to lock your bedroom door so Mum does not walk in you when you are wanking to porn.
Because even though you are what? 23? 25? you still live at home with your parents and wank to porn in your room.
You have never traveled because like most Gen Y you came of age in a capsizing economy and so as a result your impression of the United States is derived from recycled syndicated television shows.
You may not even be white. I suspect you are a one of those UK “ASIANS” or another words an Indian or a Slope. A nerdy little Asian Mumma’s Boy who pulls on his tiny brown or yellow penis to porn in his parents semi-detached.
See above, you degenerate Heeb.
Im a Midwestern boy, raised and born in Ohio, played D1 football and can run circles around you in anything, on any topic or sport for that matter.
Your family is your garden. They carry on in your continuation. Your wife gave herself, ploughing her every substance into your garden. She’s now gone but your design still equips the male with lifelong fertility. Where now?
Today’s uprising of red pill wisdom is still nebulus in some areas and is vague on how the stoic man carries on and foreward with the loss of a loyal woman when so many other women spouses out there prove to be low grade and fail their patriarch. But your wife gave quality service and untarnished loyalty. She obeyed and gave herself up as the fertile soil to plant your garden. So the red pill mantra AWALT isn’t absolute. She wasn’t ‘like that’. She wasn’t like the many women who fail their man. Plus you managed her properly obviously.
But what to do and what lens to focus now. HOW did the historic patriarchs, prophets and tribe cheiftans carry on in similar situations? The masculine wisdom has been around from the beginning. Capture a bit of it and you see that still have your soul. Only a thief woman steals men’s souls, chews them up and spits them out.
She wasn’t a thief by any stretch. She gave garden. Solid garden. No weeds or extraneous seeds from whoring mystery encounters. It is YOUR garden begat of YOUR bloodline.
Still if not all women are ‘like that’ then the real question is what eactly are women? What are they? I had an idea the other day what exactly they are – – they’re BAGS OF SEEDS and your family is your garden – simple.
All women are BAGS OF SEEDS – some BIG BAGS and others little bags. I did have a thought about this the other day when I came home with seeds and gardening supplies for this year’s vegetable garden. I asked the wife to get herself and the crew involved and start the vegetable seeds. We haven’t tilled yet this year and I can count a few years we missed gardening altogether. We had seeds and implements ready but delayed and eventually blew it off altogether – or did ‘we’ do the blowing off. Was it ME or SHE that blew it off?
There I stood with the bags of supplies from the garden center about to plop them down, expecting everyone to get busy and start some seeds. But the wife and kids sat there lazy and idle. I knew they wouldn’t do diddly if I left to finish my work elsewhere. Last year the seeds just didn’t get planted and they expired in the closet still in their unopened pouches.
I realized then that MY WIFE was a big BAG OF SEEDS herself and the garden I made of her by her fertile loins would never be or have been had I not popped her seeds and raked and tilled her ass every which way, while watering and keeping her firewalled to ward off the nasty varments and weeds.
Now this year, I noticed she sat there staring upwards when I announced it was time to do the garden. The seeds were ready to go right in front of her, but she fixated like a house cat looking at some bug on the ceiling. I had to wake her up and shake her out of it with some hot wind and marshalling of the gang. RAKE that mami and get the garden on the roll.
“Off your duff you BAG OF SEEDS”. “You’re a BAG OF SEEDS” woman. That’s really truthful and a compliment actually calling your woman a ‘bag of seeds’ because it’s so true. The garden (family) doesn’t exist or happen without the patriarch keeping the order. A sack of seeds alone produces a wild sloppy patch of weeds. You have to look at her like she’s a BAG OF SEEDS and realize that YOU patriarch man are the master gardener.
Declaring all women as in fact ‘bags of seeds’ I kind of felt like Charlton Heston in his reality moment when he cries “Soylant green is PEOPLE!”
Similarly I could have shouted “WOMEN ARE BAGS OF SEEDS!” from the rooftops with all the gusto of this red pill realization.
**update** the wee wifey has since done all the squash, melons, cukes but not the lettuce and hard stuff. The kids got cups and egg cartons rounded up and my cayenne and habaneros are sprouting. Those plants would never be if I had let the seeds collect dust and expire and in fact those kids would never have been if I had let my wifey BAG OF SEEDS that she is expire her seeds in the pouch and her meatfruitflesh go rotten.
Brah in this time your eyes open to realizations you didn’t dwell on before. You define and redefine a lot of things. I wish you peace and prosperity. Remember my words that your family is YOUR garden and that women are BAGS OF SEEDS. Dear God THEY ARE and I’ve SEEN IT with my own eyes. They’re BAGS OF SEEDS. This is my testament to you. Condolences and red pill bro.
That was a wonderful response to bring us back to reality.
serious question: are you retarded? I’m being genuine here. “Bags of seeds” smh. You say it likes it’s so profound. I can only assume you are an imbecile.
I wish I could have something like that but women I’ve been with just cheat on me.
ew what a pigfucker
The author’s poor wife dies of cancer, and human debris like you lives. The irony of it all.
glad she died tbh
fat people are disgusting
Now if we could only get trolls without souls to die…
JANE!! My little soliloqent sachel of seeds. Nippy weather out huh?
Beautifully written and said Pete.
Surely what you had is what a majority of us want, but can’t have and are grieving.
If I may very tenderly disagree on one point…it’s that we can never be fully satisfied in this life. In fact, to be fully satisfied in this world is to reject God.
It’s a hard thing for a man to want and go without. But it is the reality of all our lives.
When Jesus said to deny yourself and follow him…it’s less a call for self-flagellation than a call to recognize hard reality and to seek real, abundant, deeply-satisfying life after him.
It sounds very much like your wife understood that. Peace to you.
Hey man. Great work here. Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m going to remember this for a long time.
I’m sorry for your loss. Your speech was beautiful. But you have experienced something most men including me will never experience love and loving wife and happy marriage.
Me too.
She’s waiting for you on the other side. She watches over you.
Thank you, Pete, for an excellent article.
So true jonathan castle. When i was “asleep” so to say, i was alot happier. Once i awoke and became a true believer in christ, i became almost jaded. Random people became alot more vicious and cold to me, i started losing all my friends, i stopped getting attention from females, i lose all my jobs. The devil is trying to break my spirit, but his attempts are futile. If any newborn christian is out there, realize your physical life is about to get much more difficult. It is only temporary.
Thanks Pete, this kind of article adds soul and depth to an already-rich ROK.
Thank you for sharing the most meaningful article I have ever read on ROK.
Thanks for sharing. I had to,choke back tears as I read for my wife and I. We have been married 34 years and she is very ili and on dialysis.
I echo your sentiment 100%. The spirit of a man must be harder than the body and able to withstand the crushing blows life can deliver.
I still cherish my wife as my life companion as much as the day I first saw her in church despite what the illness has done to her.
Thank you and God bless you.
I know this wasn’t easy to write thank you for sharing it with us.
Maybe I’m just a young buck, but you all sound delusional to me. Other than children, which had since flown the coop, I fail to understand how an old lady provides more value than a 18 year old sorority slut coming back to my place to “see my hamster”.
I think VERY few old married couples are still in love. This guy might have been one of the few but it sure as fuck ain’t happening for the vast majority.
This man was truly a King and by the grace of God he found his Queen. One day he will traverse a hill to enter a golden pasture and his Queen will be waiting. I send heartfelt condolences for his loss. My own Queen and I celebrate 29 years this summer and I agree with everything he shared. I hope every reader of ROK will, one day, find his own Queen.
This was a beautiful piece you wrote, I thoroughly adored it. You’re eliciting those sacred, sentimental feelings from a lot of ROK readers with this article, that aren’t typically the emotions expressed/shared on this site. I gotta admit- I was expecting something completely different- like that when you started off saying “this wasn’t appropriate for a euology” that you were going to highlight negative attributes about your marriage
This article is the ideal type of love and companionship that most men are truly thirsty for and lust for
If you can maintain such deeply meaningful and fulfilling relationships amidst the absence of your dearly departed wife, then I have every bit of faith and reason to believe you’ll stay emotionally strong. Take care, friend
This is a very heartfelt story and to the author, I express my sincere condolences. This is clearly a personal loss of epic magnitude for you, and the regulars on ROK feel for you, my friend.
It’s also an example of how quite a bit of the writing on here absolutely beats the shit out of anything the mainstream media serves up.
Pete, thanks for the insightful and honest post.
Can we PLEASE get guys to stop saying “we” got pregnant?
Thank you in advance. Yours, the world.
May She Rest In Peace.
Sorry for your loss man.
This is gay as hell. Can’t wait to watch all the suckers get divorce-raped cause they read some sappy article online.
I get it. Luckily so far it’s me, not my wife, who has been struck down. Hope it will continue this way and she will be spared.
We, as men, should bring this values back into our western society. This article is about current lost values. We need them back.
Jesus bless you
You will never see a woman write something so profound.
AUTHOR’S GOOD FORTUNE
I was not able to marry until I was 40 years old.
I came from a place where people who married at 21 and had children and no college degree watched their kids get pummeled in public schools because the 1% does not care about families.
I never slept with a woman not bought and setting a 30 minute time limit for 15 years between when I left university and married in Asia at 40 to a woman from the merchant class.
I saw quite a few working class guys get abortions, run from child support, talk the mother into farming the child out for adoption.
You older middle-class and upper middle-class guys are fortunate. You lived in a time and place where a man who worked hard and obeyed the law could have a family, raise children in a safe neighborhood, spend his years with a partner he loved.
Those days will not come back I fear.
Between my wife and me. Learn proper grammar.
This is the first sensible, genuine and hate-free article I’ve ever seen on this site. My condolences, and beautifully written. One wonders, if the men frequenting this site really understand what love and life is about (seeing as everyone seems to agree with you), why the majority of the content seems to be bitterness, insults to the opposite gender and “how 2 gt h0t babez”.
Who’s cutting onions? This was quite moving, thank you.
Truly sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.
Wow that was one of the most profound articles I’ve ever read on this site you are a lucky man to have lived a life of fulfillment and love
Thanks for the article, it was a nice breath of fresh air in this cynical world. My condolences, I hope you will soon find peace and courage to keep going on
You had a rare one indeed. I would give a lot of my world have that type a relationship. I salute you for having such a treasure.
However, in this day and age, I do not think it will not happen for me. I leave the wrecks women have become at the feet of feminists and modern society. If there is a God, and there is a judgment, I hope the architects that ruined women for us are judged as traitors to humanity and consigned to the ninth circle of hell to be frozen in ice or chewed in Lucifer’s maws.
My condolences to the the loss of your wife.
.
This really is an amazing article – thank you for sharing.
What a great article. When I met my ex, this is all I ever wanted. What I was looking forward to in life as I raised my children through all of their life experiences and ours. Unfortunately, the girl I married was not so sweet an innocent and had bipolar and borderline personality disorder. After doing everything I could for 24 years of marriage to forgive her cheating and “chadding” it was enough.
I sit here at my desk and read what Pete here lost (a good woman) and wonder what that is like? It saddens me to know that I’ll never experience it. Maybe there are some out there, but it doesn’t seem like it anymore. The agony and hell my ex put me through leaves no room anymore for trusting another woman in the same way ever again. Pete, I’m glad you got to experience real love in the way most of us never will. That is why there is so much anger here. Guys are not unfeeling unemotional brutes. We just want what you had.
This is the most well thought and masculine article on ROK in a long while. BZ.
I’m a woman and I read ROK for shits & giggles. I’m not bothered by the typical ROK rhetoric about how to bang your way through every impoverished Eastern European country or how to expertly neglect your girlfriend until she’s severely depressed but this article actually struck me as disrespectful.
I’ve never known a man to channel sixth grade level writing with such finesse. I have to hand it to you: this is a masterclass in clumsy metaphors, daft writing, and shallowness of intellect/imagination. It’s cool that you were married to your wife for 35 years and the most salient things that come to mind when you think of your time together all revolve around glorious you and your “meat”. For most men, this preoccupation cuts out after puberty (otherwise, call your doctor LOL).
As a 26 year old woman, I’m pretty sure I already know more about maniliness than you do. Was the eulogy also primarily about your penis or did you generously manage to come up with a few spare words about your wife?
Way to go proving once again that women have no heart and cannot love. By the way, feel free to ignore your solipsism for 5 seconds and say a quiet thank you to innumerable men for conceiving, engineering, building and maintaining everything that is good and beautiful in the world around you
Mr. Fletcher,
Thank you for sharing your wonferful, deeply moving and personal article. Really hits home.
Writings like this that drew me to ROK in the first place; a genuine, non-political, no agenda, and honest stories. Just some men sharing their stories without the interruption of feminazis and political correctness.
I wonder where the old writers and the old commenters are. Some used to be my favorite.
I miss the old ROK.
Great piece.
Deep down this is what a lot of guys long for but can’t quite grasp living in the society we are now. It’s easy to become jaded, but deep down in a sense we know this is how things should be. Thanks for sharing.
The true sign of maturation is learning to live from your soul and not the body. If you live with the body alone, you never truly live at all. It’s just a instrument at our disposal. Our consciousness and choice is what separates us from the mere animals.
good writing . my wife of 29 years is still with me . many of the same experiences you bring up . best of luck going forward.
Fantastic, well written article. Great to have a different perspective from a man who’s done/had what many of us truly want.
But in all honesty he was extremely fortunate to have found such a woman. It’s just not that easy these days though.
Another thing I noticed is that Roosh seems to be coming to this realization himself. We all know there’s more to life than smashing poon, and deep down we’re searching for whatever “it” is. Some have found it.
Anyway thanks for a good read, sir. Hope to see more of your material again soon.
What can I say , as a young man , I would have shunned at the mere sight of such ghastly post….. It would only strengthen my disdain for women as being brought up since I was 2 years solely by my father , since my mother had bought in to drugs and promiscuity , I had love for only one woman that only occasionally could I interact , and that was for my grandmother, who at one point or another was more of a mother than my own.
She on the other hand had told me from very small that she was NOT my mother and could never take her place. My father being of the sort who could easily live alone in the middle of the desert , would kick my ass from here to Timbuktu and back(no reference of timbuk3) for things that I did not understand at the moment (but were well deserved ). I thought that really there was no place for me. Time passed , and through some folly or another I was married at age 28, having my first child a year later. now I have been married for 5 years and though I thought that we would be on our separate ways by year 3 we are now just about to have child #2 at my current age of 32. I have never cheated . I thought I was a fool . all my “friends” had . I could never bring my self to do so…… the thought was appalling for some reason I could not say , I don’t know why. After reading this post it made me feel and understand why, our souls were uniting . and this come from a person who disdains anything related to religion. anyway I digress back to my point, my grandfather took his life with a rugger 9 mm stainless steel revolver, and after 52 years of marriage my grandmother followed suit the only way she knew how, through heavy drinking . I feel for them as I feel for you . You are a TRUE MAN, and would entice you to listen to billy joel’s song “your my home” as that is what being melded with a wife fells like. My sincere condolences . BKR
Condolences.
A couple of things. First, those are Irish crosses. Are you Irish American?
Secondly, great article, but not politically topical. I realize it’s not a political article, but if the stats are true, most men will never have your experience. I’m guessing you’re in your 60’s. There was a time when your experience was perfectly normal. Indeed, my parents and all of my uncles have similar old photographs, grainy from time.
A generation ago there was no free trade. Imagine that. Let that sink in. Goods from another nation faced a wall, a tariff wall. In other words, the elites of our western nations felt a duty towards their peoples. That duty was to provide an environment where men and women can come together and have families.
I guess I don’t need to tell you that we are now ruled by a transnational elite. You probably didn’t want to hear a political argument as your article is clearly non-political, but young men today cannot afford to separate the personal from the political. If they do not come up with the cash, somehow, they will never have the experience you had, of knowing and loving the same woman for 35 years. Now, I will admit, it’s not that hard to come up with some cash. But we are talking about protecting and providing for a woman and any children that are produced. Not going to buy snacks. And so what we are really saying is men have to find some way to secure at least 60k per year. 100k is preferable. This is doable. But its hard.
That’s all I have to say.
Pete- This is a welcome and timely article here, and I’m so sorry you had to be the one to write it.
When my father passed a few years ago, and my mom and all of us kids were at the bedside, the first thing she said was “How did 49 years pass so fast?”
A few months ago, when we again gathered at the sides of my parents’ bed to say goodby to my mom, her last words before dozing off the last time were “I hope your father is there to meet me.” On her last day, I saw a glimpse of the private marriage, the part that the children don’t share, and I understood her.
In the intervening months, my wife and I have grown ever closer. This was happening anyhow, as you described with your own wife, but the knowledge of what the future CAN hold for our marriage is so powerful and appealing.
I believe it will be worth the price, and that if we desire it to be so, and work to earn it, the end here does not have to be the end there. Thank you again. I hope you don’t hurry to go see her. Your kids will need you and you will need them a little more first.
Good for you that you had a stimulating life with her.
But this the exact opposite of red pill, enlightenment or things about truth.
This is mating. Mating is never real. It is instinct, unconsciousness, stimulation.
Pleasure is how your body controls your brain to do things believing it is your choice.
Beautiful article, reminds me of my first love, which I am not married too.
My condolences, Sir. Thank you for sharing your beautiful and heart felt story. Take care of yourself.
Warm rgds , condolences and lots of love , from an admirer of what you had, dear older man . I lost my grandfather recently. He was 92. And he had a great life with my grandma , till she left him in 1992… He always said ,”if she were here with me today son, I’d take her to travel the world by my side … ” love is eternal , Sir. 🙂
J , from Mumbai , India.
One of the best articles on this site. I’m not what u would call ur typical RoK reader – fiscally responsible liberal, anti NRA, married, let’s say older, anti Trump, etc. But iam alpha male n enjoy the writings of my fellow man especially in this world that has gone somewhat pear shaped- especially for us men.