Every morning before I run out the door on my way to work, I do my best to catch up on the manosphere articles in my RSS feed.
One thing most of the blogs I read have in common is taking a critical eye toward marriage. Even the married writers spend a great deal of time offering guidance to their readers about divorce rates, how to choose the right woman if they must get married, and “marriage game” to keep her interested.
The most commonly cited statistic as a warning on marriage is the U.S. divorce rate or Western divorce rates in general. A recent article here at ROK on foreign brides got me thinking about American divorce rates v. the reported 80 to 85% success rate of Westerners who marry foreign brides, so I did a little digging.
The debate is endless regarding the true U.S. divorce rate. A quick google search will yield “proof” that the divorce rate is 18%, 31%, 47%, 50% and in a few cases, even higher. Being the intellectually curious chap that I am, I brewed a pot of coffee, logged in to my old University library with an account that still works for some reason, and started pulling raw divorce data, study abstracts, and other information on America’s divorce rate.
It turns out that the data are so damn muddled that I couldn’t reach any kind of firm conclusion. Frustrated, I turned back to the good old MSM to see if someone out there had put something together that didn’t reek of agenda. After trolling for a while, I came across this article that had some good information on divorce statistics and the interpretation thereof.
One of the problems with this measure of the divorce rate is that by using the total population as the base it includes children and unmarried adults which may distort the results.
Here we go.
The other problem is that in recent years several states discontinued reporting divorces and so in the last 10 years, these “missing” state numbers may be distorting the overall national profile.
And here’s where I stopped reading:
This number suggests that the divorce rate overall may be twice as large as the estimates by the National Center for Health Statistics.
Numbers “suggest” that they “may” be incompatible with another metric that “suggests” it “may” also be wrong, but is still twice the rate of another analysis that’s probably wrong too.
Now I’m fully aware of how difficult finding a true divorce rate would be given the variances in collection methods and incomplete reporting, so I’m not busting on the author’s article by any means. It just goes to show how nobody really knows what the U.S. divorce rate is.
I started thinking about my own friends and acquaintances and their divorce rates since I’m in that demographic of people who supposedly experience lower rates of divorce: I’m a white guy between the ages of 30 and 40, I got me one of them there fancy graduate skool degrees in a relevant subject that doesn’t suck ass, I have a big boy job that pays me a big boy salary, my parents are still married, and I have access to a lot of educated women.
I’m a certified, bonafide, sanctified SWPL kind of guy; a perfect candidate for marriage.
Put off by the fact that I wasted two hours of my life looking through bogus or incomplete divorce data, I decided to put together a list of my male friends and male coworkers who have been or are currently married *and* who also mirror my demographic. I came up with a sample size of N=31. It turns out that 35.4% of them have been divorced at least once.
Now that’s about as unscientific as it gets, and I know this. But the true realization for me came as I was looking at the list of men who were married and have never been divorced. These are the supposedly “good marriages” that will stand the test of time – though it’s important to note that the in-progress marriages in my sample ranged from 3 to 11 years. But here’s what struck me:
Out of all the currently married men (whether they had ever been divorced or not), I wouldn’t want to trade places with any of them.
Isn’t this the real metric the manosphere should be concerned about? Divorce rates be damned. How many of your married friends or coworkers would you want to trade places with? I’m not talking about your fathers and grandfathers, I’m talking about the men in your demographic – a true representative sample of yourself.
Yes, I have one friend who pulled a Christian girl off a farm in Southern Indiana seven years ago and they seem plenty happy. She went to local community college while living at home with her parents, and then finished her bachelor’s degree online, again, while living at home. She’s downright pleasant, they treat each other well, and you can tell they truly care for each other. I think she worked as a receptionist at a mom-and-pop shop that sells feed grain or some shit, then quit two months after becoming pregnant with their first child.
She’s also ugly as sin, but he’s a goober so it doesn’t matter. I’m not suggesting that her ugliness has something to do with her being a good wife, but I’m sure it doesn’t hurt.
So forget about the divorce statistics and ask yourself how many married men in your demographic would you want to trade places with. How many women have you banged that if banging them meant you’d be coupled with them forever, you would have just walked away? How often do you look into the glazed-over eyes of a married friend or coworker and thought to yourself “Man, I wish I could be that guy!”
That’s the metric we should be focusing on, and since it’s personal, it takes into consideration geography, age, and a host of other variables to create a customized risk assessment. In the area where you live, with the girls you and your peers have access to, how many married men in your age, education, and financial demographic would you like to eternally trade places with?
Disclaimer: The author formally recognizes that not all women are like that, your girlfriend, fiancée or wife definitely isn’t like that, and none of our female readers are like that. Furthermore, it is noted that any man who dies without having children is a biological loser who cannot be called an Alpha male since he will not have offspring to carry on his royal bloodline or defend the motherland against the Hittites. Finally, the author recognizes that all of our married reader’s relationships are uh-mazing due to their Alpha supremacy and tight game. In fact, just ignore this article completely. Thanks for reading.
Don’t Miss: Don’t Believe The Lies About Foreign Brides
That disclaimer is pure gold!
California stopped reporting it’s statistics 20 years ago, and they are the worst offender, the front line. I would imagine the other non reporters to be hell as well like Illinois etc. Caveat Emptor.
Nice post. I wouldnt want to trade place with any od my married friends,
When you stay with someone for too long passion seems to go out the window,
being stuck with one pussy for the rest of your life?Makes me wonder how any semi sane person can sign up such a crappy deal.
thanks for telling me the truth.I was often confused by different divorce rates in different govt reports.I referred to center for disease control data.It says divorce rate in 3.5 per 1000 people i.e.,half of marriage rate.
What matters to me me is my own divorce and the men i met in family court,the asshole judge and lawyers…..
just by not marrying again,i can easily remove a govt agent from my home and most of the govt laws won’t apply me….i won’t go through that pain again…family life be damned…
“How often do you look into the glazed-over eyes of a married friend or coworker and thought to yourself “Man, I wish I could be that guy!””
I almost dropped my damn iPad from laughing so hard from reading that statement.
When it comes to marriage, guys are so focused on divorce and not on whether or not the marriage will even make them happy (long term) in the first place.
I see so many bored and emasculated married guys who want to fucking kill themselves.
I’m willing to bet those same guys were happy, fulfilled, and self- fulfilled, living purposeful lives before getting hitched. Or more likely they saw marriage as either a panacea to their predicament, or were too weak to walk away; in other words they weren’t quality shit-together types. Let’s put at least some responsibly on the guys. If nothing else, they choose wrong. That is their responsibility.
It is really more the rule, rather than the exception.
This is a great article and brings up a point that people never think of, including myself. I just undertook the same exercise and came up with two guys I know that I may actually consider swapping lives with. Not so ironically, both their wives are recent immigrants to the US from Europe. Even still, I’m not anywhere close to 100% sure I would want to swap lives.
My parents have been married for 30 years and had 4 kids: they fight at least everyday: sometimes it’s brutal, but the thing is, they stick together. Being a guy, I didn’t respect my dad until I realized that my mother was crazy, even though my sisters knew from the age of 5. We live in a society that worships mothers, and discourages young boys from noticing obvious flaws in them, but the moment you can see flaws in your mother, and still love her, I think that game becomes quite easy. If you can accept that your mom is crazy, it makes it much easier to swallow the red pill, and see how much value you bring to the table when a woman chooses to be with you.
Game I think is necessary for having a realistic outlook on women; whereas, women have a romantic outlook on us. Realism allows us to be objective and helps us keep an eye out for the truth; romanticism leads to ignorance and the comfort of happy lies and noble dishonesty. This is the most important skill in picking a woman to marry, and most guys who are in miserable marriages don’t have it. They actually buy into the fantasy of marriage, rather than the reality. They view marriage as an achievement, rather than as a mission to establish and create a legacy.
Good game eventually leads to good judgement. And with women, there’s always going to be happy lies and noble dishonesty that a man is going to have to be able to cut through to see how valuable and loyal a woman is going to be in his life. It doesn’t mean there won’t be battles, or there won’t be fights or that he still won’t want the young hb8 20+ yr old waitress at Hooters, it just means that he’ll have a soldier who he can trust when it’s all said and done. Divorce is a result of bad judgement on the part of a man who didn’t see what was right in his face but chose not to see because he was too caught up in the romance and not in the reality of marriage; stats be damned.
Fantastic viewpoint. I agree wholeheartedly. Out of every unhappily married guy or sad divorced one I’ve come across, every single one agreed that the issue was they made the wrong choices due to wishful thinking. The signs were all there. They had no balls to walk away from a bad match, and eventually the bad match walked all over them and then left. They weren’t Men – they were males, and reality bites very hard when it’s ignored and requires attention.
“They view marriage as an achievement, rather than as a mission to establish and create a legacy.”
Epic. This describes so many divorced friends of mine.
“Divorce is a result of bad judgement on the part of a man who didn’t see what was right in his face but chose not to see because he was too caught up in the romance and not in the reality of marriage”
True note just in marriage, but elsewhere – nobody should be surprised when they get fired. But there are guys who do everything right, keep their alpha frame and STILL get blindsided by divorce. Just have to expect the unexpected, especially nowadays.
Um, not really. Maybe in your experience, but that’s not the usual. I suggest you take a day off work and sit in the gallery during Family Court proceedings. It should be an education for you.
This is one of the few posts I have read on RoK (besides a couple of Roosh’s) that appears to have been written by an intelligent human being. Men, especially intelligent young men trying to figure out life, spend a lot of time analyzing numbers rather than observing and analyzing circumstances. They tend to be obsessed with average outcomes rather than calculating the probabilities under the circumstances.
I’ve been married for 11 years and have a kid. It works for me and I enjoy it. That said, I would not trade places with any other married man I know. Further, I would not trade places with most of the single men I know, at least as far as how they choose to live and how they have set up their lives. Most of them live extremely constrained and limited lives given the relative amount of freedom they have. They’re just as fat, lazy, dull, willfully stupid and awful with women as their married counterparts.
And there you have nailed it. Most people just plain suck – whether single or married or what have you. There is a lot of talk about how Western women suck. I agree, many of them do, and I married a 1st generation from another country because she’s the first one that I came across that meets my needs without much bat-shit-insane.
Have you seen any of these unhappily married Western so called men? Most of them can’t even figure out their way out of a paper bag, no wonder they’re unable to select a good woman out of hundreds/thousands, and then manage a household.
I don’t feel sorry for them, or for single ones who don’t get it either. People get what they’ve earned, not what they wish for.
But they have peace of mind. They can relax at home without some harpy constantly nagging them and spending them into the poorhouse.
Why would any sane man care about divorce rates considering no sane man would even contemplate marriage in the first place?
Because the right woman by a man’s side is more than just pussy. It’s a trusted partner who adds to a man’s life, even with providing a needed reality check once in a while.
Most men have no idea what women are, what they need to be happy, how to find a good one let alone hold on to a decent woman once found.
The ones that do, they live happy fulfilled lives with a loyal, caring, supportive woman who shares their values and contributes positively in areas beyond sex, too. These rare women exist, but they only go for men, not just any adult human male.
Well put, Anonymous.
Most younger men don’t realize this, because they’re living in the heat of the “now” and it feels like they will never want anything different than they do right in this moment.
But, at some point… you start to want to do something with your life other than chase tail (as fun as chasing tail is!), and once that point is reached a stable, well-chosen partner allows you to take the focus you’d been putting on pursuing women and place that on pursuing another goal or goals of your choosing instead.
And, life’s a long time… you can always come back and chase more tail later!
Regarding finding a “trusted partner.”
A party who is:
1) strongly financially incentivized by asset redistribution, alimony, child support, and “Eat, Pray, Love”-style peer pressure to dissolve your partnership
and
2) requires endless cajoling, titillation, and distraction on your part to remain invested in the perpetuation of said arrangement
is simply a lousy candidate for partnership. No amount of hoping, wishing and praying will change that.
If you were to– through youthful naivete or reckless wishful thinking– select a business partner such a manner, you would surely go bankrupt.
Why would “marriage” partnership be any different? Wuv? Puppies? Rainbows? Get real; your future is on the line.
Love the disclaimer. It is in a man’s best interest to not marry. Just focus on yourself. Save for retirementt. Don’t be a wage slave. The world is going to hell anyway with climate change and overpopulation so why have kids? Live your own life. Screw this feminized society.
Off topic and into what is normally the purview of Keoni Galt, but I wouldn’t worry about overpopulation. The bigger issue is there isn’t enough of us to support the Boomers.
No problem there. Look after your own parents, and the rest? Fuck ’em. We’re going to see an insane amount of homeless elderly for the next 20 years, which sucks. But we didn’t make the situation, we didn’t contribute to their lack of retirement planning, so we don’t feel obligated to fix it either.
I don’t. The most worthless generation.
great post
your writing has always been fresh mentu – need more columns like this
Well said.
The point being, of course, is that we should not make major life decisions on statistics alone. To know where you will be, take a look at the peer group to which you aspire.
At some point, we need to recognize that all life is risk, all life is struggle, all life is meant for the living. If you are in love, and you feel marriage is what you want to do, then do it. As long as the emotion is sincere and you enter into it with common sense, you will never regret it, even if everything goes south. The man who enters the arena and fights, lives, and loves, will always be superior over the timid soul who sits in the bleacher seats and watches.
But it is forgiveable for the eager betrothed to pay some attention to divorce statistics. Let’s not kid ourselves…to those guys who are sitting on the fence or not really sure about what to do, an analytical approach can be a good idea, and may save them from a lifetime of agony. Make no mistake. An ill-advised marriage can be the wound that keeps on festering.
So, bottom line? Realize that there are no magic bullets in life, no short cuts, no secret potions. Make your decisions on the best information you have at the time. In life, you will win some, and you will lose some….
This was tip-top; best in a long time!
Here is a pretty good break down of the state of marriage in 2012:
http://www.stateofourunions.org/2012/SOOU2012.pdf
From reading this report, the most interesting fact is not the divorce rate (which is about 50%), but that the marriage rate (number of new marriages) is going down and the illegitimacy rate (number of babies born out of wedlock) is going up. This implies that fewer people than ever are getting married and that a growing number of women are becoming single mothers. In the future, the divorce rate may not tell you much since so few people will be getting married that that statistic will be meaningless. The real statistic would should be talking about is the marriage rate.
Absolutely. No matter how you look at it, marriage as an institution has been seriously eroded in the past four decades. Those who work in the legal profession know full well that the majority of divorces are initiated by women and paid for by men. The courts subscribe to a legal code that is archaic, to say the least, and rent with political correctness. End result: the unsuspecting man is typically destroyed, financially and emotionally. Get married only if you want children. If not, concubinage (love that word) or serial dating makes more sense. For better or for worse, this is the brave new world of the 21st century. Ignore it at your own risk.
You might have to start looking at household composition instead of marriage rates, seeing how many fathers are living in the same household as their recorded biological children. It might be that men (or couples) might choose that option over marriage, instead of foregoing long term relationships altogether.
In Canada (or at least one Province or State or whatever the fuck they call it there) they now have some law where you might have to pay spousal support (Vaginamony is the technical term I believe) and split assets 50/50 if you are cohabiting for over two years.
It’s called a province. It’s not that complicated.
The province you refer to is British Columbia and the new law comes into effect later this year. Many people are totally unaware of this new law and it seems to be flying under the radar for the most part. It’s insanity.
In USA this is called “Common Law Marriage” and I believe the requirement is cohabitation for 7 years in a committed romantic relationship. Everyone knows about this in the USA, it’s not a secret and has been on the books for a long time.
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-20569.html
As one of those married guys with kids, I heartily recommend your advice.
Yes, take a look at your married friends…but also look into the sad eyes of the 55 year old eternal bachelors who are wasting away and never got married. It was because of my experiences with those old bachelors — some of the whiniest, most irritating, most narcissistic old ladies I ever met — that I decided to take the (huge) risk to get married and have kids.
Yes marriage sucks big time, but so does turning 50 a bachelor. A guy past 50 hits that Wiley Coyote moment just like women past 30. Nobody wants him, his body fails him, his all-important sex drive disappears, his career fails him, and he becomes a female cat herder. I’ve seen very few exceptions to this.
That being said, the statistics for my “married friends” demographic are terrible. More than half my demographic have hit the 10 year mark (the mark of doom) and had their career wives file for divorce and destroy the young children.
So much horror out there. Thanks Feminism.
So damned if you do, and damned if you dont? What is worse, a 55 year old bachelor who can literally do anything he wants at anytime, from what to have for dinner to long planned trips, while banging the occasional 40 year old “hot enough” divorcee? or a 55 year old married man who has to have sex with his 50-something flabby wife once a month and can’t a shit without asking permission? Oh, and a “failing career” is 100x worse if you are married because her hypergamy will kick in and leave you in the dust with only half of your dwindling 401k. I will take my chances forging my own path, thanks.
As an aside, my own observations of single over 50 men is the exact opposite of yours. Vast majority seem plenty satisfied with life.
Agree completely with you. I’m not advocating marriage by any means…quite the contrary. I tell my single friends to avoid unless they are 200% sure that they are willing to take that risk.
Just observing that both paths have their risks. The essence of masculinity in my mind is to be honest about trade-offs.
“Marriage is like climbing Mt. Everest. Marriage in the Feminist era is like climbing Mt. Everest that has been covered with land mines and pop-up automated machine guns, by some insane feminist dictatorship.”
Absolutely correct. Nothing is more inspiring than a single older man who is fit, healthy, centered, and does not depend on a woman for his valuation. It takes discipline, a strong philosophical grounding, and an iron will. And I’ve got news for you all: we’re ALL going to end up alone. Even the ones that are married. Your spouse could become incapacitated or die before you.
Far better is it to be the master of your own destiny. No one is going to “take care” of you in your dotage. We’re all on our own, each of us. That’s one thing that I hope ROK readers can internalize. It is up to you, yourself, to create your own life that is meaningful. Think it’s lonely being single? Well, try being destroyed.
Quintus: “Nothing is more inspiring than a single older man who is fit, healthy, centered, and does not depend on a woman for his valuation. It takes discipline, a strong philosophical grounding, and an iron will.”
There are very few men like that, single or married or divorced. Some men stay single, some have the brains to choose a woman that complements them, supports them and also cooks, cleans, and does their laundry. These men also know what a woman needs (as different from what she says she needs) and have earned a compassionate partner instead of nagging snag.
Most “men” don’t have their shit together any more than most women; before marriage, as well as after marriage, and naturally they don’t have a good marriage, and have a horrible divorce instead.
Just the fact that you’re here, reading this, means you’re in the top 1% of the male population, and either have a clue or well on your way.
There is nothing wrong with staying single or getting married. Where people fuck up is marrying the crazy bat despite all the red flags, and then not knowing how to manage their own house.
The only thing I will agree with is that past 50 it can be tougher to live the single bachelor lifestyle since you look older and feel older. However, since fewer people are getting married nowadays, we are going to have a lot of 50-something bachelors in the future, so we are going to see more emphasis on improving life for people 50+.
The best bet for a 50-something bachelor is to eat healthy, exercise, dress well, take supplements, take replacement hormones, and most importantly move to South East Asian, Latin America or Eastern Europe. Older men in those countries are not dismissed like in Anglo countries. In those countries you can still date younger women and use the buying power of the dollar to live a comfortable lifestyle cheaper than in the USA.
Simple solution! DON’T GET MARRIED in AMERICA! 🙂 Or any other feminized extortion family court society! Spain, Australia, India, Italy included on the list! China and the continent of Africa most of South America is WAY BETTER for marriage!
Or pretty much, if you’re going to marry, marry someone who is at the same or higher level economically so there won’t be a financial incentive for divorce on their part.
Wait a second. If the woman is at your level economically or higher, then:
1. she’s likely in a high-profile job where she’ll be exposed to many alphas and be tempted to leave you much sooner than she normally would
2. she’ll more likely to be career-focused on leave -you- with the majority of housework and childrearing during the marriage, not even a 50-50 split
3. she’ll have even less reason to stay with you for 20 years, because she’ll take half of your earnings (and half of whatever she made) plus have big salary expectations. If she has absolutely zero reliance on you financially, you may be in for some really bad luck…
With all do respect, that is complete bullshit. I grew up across the street from a confirmed bachelor, a retired cop who then went to law school, becoming corporate counsel for the NYPD. This alpha male (african-american, hit the gym every day, traveled every year) leased a new sports car every other year, and had a string of bitches (latinas, whites, asians) my entire adolescence and college years. When he turned 50 he finally got married, to a foreign bride from Japan! They have a cute bi-racial kid now, and he looks pretty happy. Give me a break. A 50 year old beta loser is a 50 yr old beta loser, and a 50 year old Alpha “most interesting man in the world” Male is still an Alpha Male.
Hmm.. I know 3 bachelors in their 60’s in my extended family, and they are anything but sad.
As a matter of fact, these 3 guys are the only guys I feel some admiration for. They are the only ones that have a spark in their eyes, and the ones ones I can remember laughing.
When I was a teen, these 3 guys were the only ones I found to be “cool” and I always looked up to them, whereas the married guys always gave me that creepy looser feel (as if: “I’d rather kill myself than end up like them”).
Full disclaimer though: these guys are bachelors, but they are not single. All of them are in long-term relationships with the same women I remember them with as a teen. However, NONE OF THEM COHABITS with their gfs, not even for the week-end. Also, all 3 are very attractive for their age, and the family suspects they are / have other flings on the side..
Maybe that’s the secret to happiness? Sex and short dates with women but NO cohabitation or marriage under any circumstance.
Another observation I made when thinking about these older men:
All 3 bachelor guys retired early – long before legal retirement age, and were very happy about it! 🙂
All the married ones are working past retirement age (even those who are very financially secure) despite most of them having serious health problems. They are strongly pushed to do this, by their wives (who are not working). In at least 3 occurences: the family openly blames the wife for pushing her husband to work himself into an early grave (of course: the dead husband was on our side of the family, which explains the unusual empathy for a man).
Decent piece, but ten minutes researching divorce rates in Amerika is ten minutes you pissed away not banging a receptionist. A blind man’s dog will tell you that just about every married guy in this country is either in the middle of a divorce, about to divorce, or beginning to realize that he will one day divorce. And guess what, there’s no Men’s Rights Advocate in divorce court. You will be alone and afraid and you will get your shit pushed in, and not in a good way.
Meanwhile, a retarded kindergartener could tell you that American women are overweight, mouthy, self-absorbed pains in the ass that demand you make– them– feel…. “like I’m the only girl in the world” at terrific expense to your wallet and dignity. If it wasn’t for the feminist agenda that allows American broads think its a good idea to fuck me in their cars before I leave town, they’d be as useless as….a fat mouthy woman who won’t fuck me in her car before I leave town.
I’ve said it before: you wanna have a kid, have one. But if you ever feel like getting married in this time zone, slam your fingers in a door ’til the feeling goes away.
Only get married if you find someone who is either from middle America, Asian, or really, really conservative. Don’t marry any of these SWPL girls from the “blue states.” Don’t even marry one of these “libertarian”(I call them cosmotarian) or “republican” women who are “fiscally conservative and socially liberal.” If they even start talking about “stereotypes” throw ’em out. Our culture and our government wants you to live a lifestyle of pump and dump. The great thing about ROK is that it turns the tables and glorifies pump and dump in a way that enrages feminists.
good article i had a good laugh at this quote
“it is noted that any man who dies without having children is a biological loser who cannot be called an Alpha male since he will not have offspring to carry on his royal bloodline or defend the motherland against the Hittites.”
Odds are the rate is around 35-40%
A lot of my friends and coworkers are married to chubby hogs with mean faces. They all have children, a house and a car and a cute puppy. But damn, would I trade place with them ? except for all the social acceptance they get for “having their shit together” I know one thing, when it’s time for magic in the bedroom these poor zaps have an problem that eclipses all earthly goods they’ve dutifully compiled all those years. Their fancy house, cars and hobby herbs garden that they deeply do not fucking care for, wont do squat for them when they with deeps of their hearts wish they would be at a distant tropical island with enticingly dancing slender, young savage girls dressed in straw bikinis leading them on to procreate euphorically to the sound of the gentle waves of the Pacific ocean. I know that they want to trade place with at that instant, but their stupid fear prevent them from doing anything else than what they’ve been told to do by hogs and through meaningless friendships . But have a nice life slaving for your chubby mean princess that will eventually take you for cleaners in divorce court..and her devilish offspring that will be your meaningless, and only, legacy in this world. If that is being a biological winner, I think I will pass.
“Their fancy house, cars and hobby herbs garden that they deeply do not fucking care for, wont do squat for them when they with deeps of their hearts wish they would be at a distant tropical island with enticingly dancing slender, young savage girls dressed in straw bikinis leading them on to procreate euphorically to the sound of the gentle waves of the Pacific ocean.”
LOL! As if ANY American man is living that imaginary fantasy.
Dream on, dreamer. Dream on!
Enjoy your mean spirited fatty hog.
Tooooooo funny. My married male cousins don’t call me anymore. I never hear from them. They are successful engineers who married their college sweethearts who “stuck by them” through grad school when they were broke. Meanwhile, I was galavanting around the world, learning languages and laying pipe. Now they have their nice homes, as you mentioned, and I guess I’m still the crazy, broke bachelor trying to “get his act together.” But their wives don’t want them to come near me. And they don’t want to hear about my last trip to Marseille, France where I banged my ex-Moroccan girlfriend.
50 is a number, if you take care of yourself and have decent genetics the number won’t matter. I know dudes in there 70’s who are still chasing tail (albeit in the Caribbean).
Despite what your thoughts are, the author has highlighted the facts.
Marriage is down, Divorce is up and single mom’s are on the up.
Personally, I would only marry for money or some advantage in my favour.
“I know dudes in there 70′s who are still chasing tail (albeit in the Caribbean).”
The Caribbean? I know that North American and Western European women go there for sex tourism (Rent-a-Dread) but didn’t know old men go there as well. Tell me more about this!
He probably means Cuba and the Dominican Republic. I visited the second place and it was nice enough. Nice slim mulattas if you´re into that. They literaly throw themselves at you.Too bad I was then a nice beta on vacation with his girlfiend.Sigh!
My parents have been married for over 30 years and are still in love and romantic with each other. My friends say, “wow! your parents are the most in love people I’ve ever seen!”
Though I’m a white American, I come from a background of strong family values and that’s one of the many reasons why I love Indian guys and will definitely marry one.
There’s a lot of divorce and out of wedlock births in the from the middle-middle class on down. Upper middle class seems to have less divorce and almost no out of wedlock births.
It starts with intelligence and education. Someone always ends up at the top. Once, it’s luck. Repeatedly, it’s because they know/do something that works.
the disclaimer is classic. well played.
i’m the only single, kidless, never been married guy on my block and 90% of the married guys constantly tell me how lucky i am. they love their wife/kid(s) but tell me they’d have waited or not have gotten married at all.
i have ZERO intent on joining their ranks. it’s just not worth the risks.
Smart man. Don’t change your mind.
Getting married in the US is like walking around all day holding the razor-sharp tip of a hunting knife one inch away from that thin layer of skin and muscle that protects your beating heart. “It’s no big deal,” you say, “I’m not stupid, I’m not going to walk into a wall or anything. I’m smarter than that – I’ll be fine!”
Maybe, maybe not. Maybe one day, you fuck up. Maybe you raise your voice a little too high to your wife during an argument and she calls the police because “she’s scared” (mandatory arrest and permanent black mark on your dossier at the Politburo; good luck getting a job now). Maybe you get wasted and black out one night and bang some barfly and word gets around. Maybe you lose your job because all of a sudden your feminized boss (male? female? no difference) doesn’t think you “fit in” very well at the office, and you can’t pay the mortgage on your house. BOOM! Now your wife is taking you for a ride in divorce court. Her demands (scratch that: her contingency-based LAWYER’s demands) are simple: 50% of your earnings, and 100% of your kids.
This country is so full of narcissists and psychopaths that marriage advice for men and women in the year 2013 is really pretty simple:
Women: Marry early and often.
Men: Never marry (or if you’re divorced, never marry again). It’s that simple.
Hugs and kisses,
Markus
The scariest course in law school is Family Law. The horror stories (cases) we had to read for the exam will kept me up at night with nightmares.
Why bother taking family law? It’s such an easy subject with predictable outcomes there’s hardly a reason for a twice-weekly course and a four hundred page book.
Amen. Listen up kids, before it´s to late!
Preach The Word, Brother Markus, and lead us towards salvation!
This ^^^
And there you have nailed it. Most people just plain suck – whether single or married or what have you.””””””””
nailed it look around you and tell me if anyone is happy
but yea that is an interesting way to look at the married thing in the post
me i am married i enjoyed the time i spent with my wife and will enjoy more time that i spend with her but yea i also get to do what i want cause that was hammered out before we got married. So yea i think it is throwing a hail mary for traditional marriage but if ya have options too then yea you get to have your cake and eat it too best of both worlds. Woman who loves you and there for you and some new chicks.
Yes marriage sucks big time, but so does turning 50 a bachelor. A guy past 50 hits that Wiley Coyote moment just like women past 30. Nobody wants him, his body fails him, his all-important sex drive disappears, his career fails him, and he becomes a female cat herder. I’ve seen very few exceptions to this.”””’
naa it sucks with no money with money he can have a good time till 80
but yea there are some perks to beng a man
Just observing that both paths have their risks. The essence of masculinity in my mind is to be honest about trade-offs.”””””’
being a man you can do both it is not either or
you can do what the fuck you want
I Love Indians!
February 18, 2013 at 10:35 pm
“Their fancy house, cars and hobby herbs garden that they deeply do not fucking care for, wont do squat for them when they with deeps of their hearts wish they would be at a distant tropical island with enticingly dancing slender, young savage girls dressed in straw bikinis leading them on to procreate euphorically to the sound of the gentle waves of the Pacific ocean.”
LOL! As if ANY American man is living that imaginary fantasy.
Dream on, dreamer. Dream on!
””””””””””””
this is the problem “dream” you can have all the above if thats your dream that is not even dreaming big thats some pretty tame shit
Indeed, very modest dreams and even something that modest is considered something huge by western males. Tells you about how well the feminist brainwashing works.
A good friend of mine got hitched a few months back. His wife is the only girl he’s ever dated. He said married life is “really, really boring” . I believe it. Ever since he’s be married he’s started asking me to go out with him more and more. Lol. He’s already sick of his chick. Enjoy.
Marriage – the burden men accepted in exchange for regular sex and children. Now, they just get the burden, not even a pretense of any lasting benefits.
Live together for 5 (or more) years, celebrate 5 times her birthday, celebrate 5 times new year.
Then have a child together.
If you still with her when the child is 3, and she is still hot, and you still enjoy sex with her – then by all means marry her. But not sooner.
Fair enough, but I have my own version of that game too. I ask myself who among my wife’s single and divorced friends I would enjoy being with more than my wife. And the answer is, none of them. They’re trainwrecks mostly with some nasty baggage, out of shape and drink too much. (And yet the PUAs are out there gaming away at them regardless, feeding their egos.)
Good. Stay in your hovel, as the other shanties provide less comfort and benefit.
Zing! AnotherSimpleMan FTW
If you want to have children, which most people eventually do, and you believe that being raised by married parents is, for whatever seemingly-mysterious, yet apparently-existing, reasons, the healthiest for children, then marriage is the premise and how to choose someone well and make the marriage work are the questions or conclusions. You apparently have no strong desire for children, so view the selling points of marriage as those inherent to your relationship with a woman. Those pluses and minuses are important, of course, and being a single dad or having joint care of your children, etc., might be the best option, in the end, as your happiness matters, as well as your childrens’, but you don’t mention this major factor in the motive for marriage, that it provides the best environment for your children, even if you’re bored. Though, your argument still applies, I suppose, if your peers have children and you want that to be a part of your life- then, you might want one of their lives. (… Though, do you really know the lives of your friends? Relationships can be private heavens or hells or whatevers behind the scenes- you don’t see their private affection or disappointment or attachment, just an average level of contentment in your presence.) People have multiple, potent bilogical imperitives, and having children is one for many of us. I know y’all hate having women here (but I like this website, so intend to peruse as I please), but the same applies to those of us who like being alone a lot and find the thought of living with someone and being over-‘one’ed, even dictated to- not to mention watching the wonderful aspects of your relationship fade as people take eachother for granted and beauty and attraction fade, etc.- terrifying and sad. But, I want to have children, and think the best environment for children is a marriage; that opens me and creates an incentive to try to make it work. There are a lot of decent men, though, so I have less to worry about.
lol with all these boys like “i dont like marriage! ” it sure will help me take their advice because im gay! lolz and pretty sure i dont want none of that
well since many women do cheat much more than men nowadays, that would certainly do it.
I have to fully agree with the Author. My mother is a full out whack job. She suckered at least 3 men (to my knowledge) into marriage and divorces and at least 4 into child support. Glad my Dad raised me right.
brilliant article. and just for future reference, I’m 51, never been married and I wouldn’t trade places with any of the men in my age group either.
I wouldn’t trade places wit any married guys I know. They seem like zombies half the time with the “help me” look in their eyes. Get a few beers in them and you’ll start hearing some truths about their lives. Funny thing though, some of these same guys love shaming me for not being married. Misery loves company right? They need validation that they made the right choice I suppose.
It’s ok, Ed Thatch. CALL my ex-wife a slovenly porker. You would be correct, Sir! Ding, ding, ding! None of my married buddies (and they range from ages 35-60) are “happy” they’re merely trapped. They can’t play golf, they can’t have a motorcycle, they don’t get pussy. So why get married? They each of them, to a man, testify that getting married was WHAT THEY WERE SUPPOSED to do. My sympathies and gratitude I got my own divorce done by age 30. Hell of a tribute to modern American women.
32, here. That was 10 years or so ago. I will never go back.
I didn’t do the preliminary research you did, but have made the same observations and conclusions. This article nails it. I have akready forwarded it to three other men.