Life

4 Reasons To Host A Feast

152 Comments

Every civilisation around the globe has a tradition of feast. More than a vulgar meal, it is a celebration of life. In times when man struggled to find something to eat, a feast was something truly exceptional. Nature was generous enough to allow him to see another day and even going to sleep without feeling the cold bite of hunger, surrounded by his loved ones.

Sharing food for a moment of peace. A feast has usually two main goals: celebrate friendship and celebrate God.

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Kings and peasants. Love and hate. Return of a son or farewell to a beloved elder. The feast was a concentration of what makes mortal life what it is. The greatest alliances were forged and strengthened in the mead halls. It is also under the same roof that plots and treason took place.

This habit disappears in our world. With parents drifting away from their roots and generations of children locked in their bubble, feasts become rare. It must be reinstated as a central element of a man’s life. A man needs to be a fighter, a father, a creator but also a host. Among the many benefits that hosting a feast will bring to your life:

1. It separates friends from the rest

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Oaths of friendships and insults resulting in blood feuds did not need to take place on battlefields or in the market place. Bring the wrong or the right men and women. Let the drinks flow and the mood evolve. Truth to many questions will soon emerge. Bear that in mind. A good host is a focused host.

You invest time, energy, and money into something that is not vital. Guests not showing gratitude should not be forgiven. True colours are revealed around bread and wine. Observe who among your guests comes empty handed. Do not remind them to bring something. It is common sense and a good test for the future.

I once organised a feast of my own after a long absence overseas, bringing new recipes and drinks for my childhood “friends” to enjoy. They did not appreciate it. “What is that shit? Let’s watch TV” was the response.

It was a bad but necessary omen. I cut ties except for one of them and reconstructed a new tribe. A late toastmaster I knew always said: “Guests always please me. If it is not when they arrive, then it is when they leave.”

2. It is a real as it gets

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Sharing food, the source of life, is an important, almost sacred, gesture. The nations that respect the act of sitting down and taking the time to eat are usually the most stable and conservative ones. The “fast food” phenomenon is just another way to disconnect humans from their true nature.

It is a simple and effective way to meet in today’s artificial relationships. Too many friends meet up for drinks outside of their home, where they still put on an act for the outside world.

Even if it is necessary, the material, the setting, the decoration is not the most important. You are not a woman. What matters is to gather like-minded people and having good food served.

Feasts have always been a display of wealth, financial or otherwise. Spending too little or too much says a lot to the guests. The reaction of the guests to this display is equally important. If the feast is not as rich as in the past, friends will inquire where acquaintances will only criticize

3. It celebrates simplicity

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We come back to the basics in this age of technology, virtual reality and white noise. The pillars of happiness are all present during a good feast. Friends, home made food and drinks, a pleasant mood and free time. The absence of bonding around a meal that has no professional or romantic context is another symptom of the cultural decline of a society.

There is an important rule in a feast, You must be the core and the main provider. It cannot happen under a roof that is not yours. You need to be in control of your surroundings. A man is the king in his house.

A modern feast is also cheap. Cheaper than an evening in an overpriced club, navigating between bitch-shields and thirsty betas. Cheaper than noisy restaurants with crying toddlers, where you have to tip poor service just because “that is the way it is.”

It can be organised anywhere. You do not need much. Without a roof, an open fire, a few crates, fresh food and the leaves of the trees as tiles will make anyone a cheerful guest.

4. It is useful spiritually and materially

Supra, Kakheti

Everyone loves free food, but above all every man needs a tribe. But hosting is a commitment. You said you will, and you will stick to it. Flakiness is a woman’s trait.

It is good exercise for time and human management. You need to plan ahead, delegate tasks, monitor your guests so that their plate and cup are full and that they are in good spirits.

It is also the host’s task to direct the debates, keep the conversation going and make sure that everyone is roughly on the same level of drunkenness. The host is a toastmaster, a referee, and a guardian.

There is no better way to consume alcohol than in a safe environment of a feast. Nothing is worse than getting drunk on an empty stomach.

Un dernier mot

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One of the few drawbacks of a feast is that the host, by doing what he is supposed to: organise, has the less fun as he keeps an eye of everything. That is the price to pay, but only for an evening. Soon, he shall be a guest again, free of responsibility.

There are many ways to be a talented host, but the universal elements of a memorable feast have seldom changed since man invented the table:

  • Don’t improvise with dishes you do not know
  • Have enough of everything but do not plan too big
  • Give your guest a drink when he arrives
  • Make a list of what you need
  • Stay cool
  • Play music in the background (not too loud)
  • Host your guests after the feast if possible
  • Bring enough cutlery
  • Bring girls (assessing the risks before) for your fellow hunters if you can. What goes around comes around.
  • No visual distractions (No TV, turn off the wifi, phones away)

If your feast is successful, it will stays in the memory of your guests for years to come.

Read More: The Feast Of The Ascension

152 thoughts on “4 Reasons To Host A Feast”

  1. I love this. This is simply fantastic and should be taken to heart by all men. (As a corollary, all men should know how to cook)
    As far as feasts go I have several a year. Christmas Eve is a huge feast for my family as is memorial day (though do to weddings this year it had to be cancelled for the first time in my life). The former usually has close to 150 people by the time everyone comes in and out. The later closer to 40 but it is after a parade.
    Other types of feast are like the quarterly steakhouse trip I make with business associates. This one reminds me the most of an old time feast. We are all there because of a pragmatic connection to each other. Some of us like one another, others don’t. There are groups, power struggles (one thing to note is that this is all men) and usually about 12-16 of us at a table. We all bring something to it which makes us necessary for each other. It is quite the medieval romp as we build NYC ever higher.
    I can’t say enough how much this article brought a smile to my face. The civilized man ought to, periodically, feast.
    Well done!

    1. Agreed, awesome article. I have a friend who roasts an entire pig, in the Hawaiian tradition of burying it in the ground, once a year. Even though the host was a single guy, the guests were mostly married / dating couples, and older than me, so I only attended once. But it was quite a bash. I don’t get a lot of enjoyment in socializing with married guys, and would prefer either no women or single women, but the host was an all around cool guy, and there is definitely not enough of this going on in the world today. (Also, the host is recently married, and I’m sure this event played into raising his social value and contributed in some way).
      I think the main drawback to doing this today versus in ages of yore is that the host will be doing most of the work, not his servants, so it leaves little time to enjoy the event, but I think this would pay itself forward, and one would be invited to future bashes. I also think it’s a great way of earning respect from others, which is a personal goal I have in my life. Good job on an original and unique article!

      1. great. now I will be thinking of pig all day.
        I used to live in a predominately greek area and on Greekster a lot of families would haul out the spit and there would be dozens of lambs turning all day. Used to go house to house for a bite of lamb, a flirt with some greek chicks and some ouzo. Then at night they would have this Wizard parade. Miss those days.

        2. well that did it. Ugh. You should see what they pawn off as butter here Monsieur. It’s should be illegal. You can get the real stuff but you pay through the nose.
          With d’artagnan brand saucisson going for near USD30/pound I am contemplating making my own. How hard can it be?

        3. I guess you can turn your appartment into an urban salting room.
          Or we can set up a new French connection for saucisson importation if you want.
          I just got my hand on some Pyrenean one.

        4. I would almost be tempted to do this if I wasn’t worried about getting caught and thrown in jail and having to tell my cell mate that I was in for “French salami smuggling”
          I was thinking about taking a large cedar cigar humidor which I can get relatively inexpensively (if I don’t buy a fancy one).
          I could stand it on its side so the top opens like a door rather than a chest. I could probably hang two saucisson if I attach the string to the top and regulate the humidity perfectly. And then, viola, urban salting room sans smell.

        5. Front yard baby! And when you stare at em, they look at you like youre the crazy one

        6. I refuse to believe there is an insufficient number of charcutiers in Manhattan. I think you’re just looking in the wrong places. Ask your nearest cobbler or VHS salesman.

        7. This is truly a great idea. I bet it would work for stinky cheese too !

        8. It probably would Perfect control of humidity and you wouldn’t stink the place up.

        9. vhs rental. They don’t sell. Also, there are plenty of charcutiers in manhattan. However, a) they are insanely expensive if they are any good and b) its fun to DIY pork product.

        10. My Grandfather’s house used to stink cheese and saucisson. Only true countryside Frenchmen could breathe in it.

        11. I know Alsace is practically Germany and the people have the manners to match, but as soon as fall comes I am going to eat me a big choucroute garnie

      2. and why not the servants? I mean, if you don’t have servants then do it at a steak house….viola…built in servants.

        3. srsly though, I think my cigar humidor idea would actually work. I am going to try out some homemade Saucisson sec and if that works I may go full blast on making charcuterie out of my apartment.

      3. Personally, when I host a meal I actually enjoy doing all the work. I come from an Italian family so I’ve been raised to feed people ha. I’m always asking my buddies if they want something to eat or drink, I can’t help it. Making great food and having my friends truly enjoy it and appreciate it makes it all worth the effort. Follow that up with more drinks, cigars, good conversations and some music and I’m as content as a pig in shit.

        1. When is gravy gravy, and when is sauce sauce? Only a true italian knows this

        4. yeah, you limeys really know how to cook. you can take your kidney pie and stick it where the sun dont shine

        6. it is only “gravy” if you are what I like to call lolitalian. For examples of lolitalian (also known as eye-talian) please see the Sopranos, Goodfellas or anyone who lives in New York or New Jersey.
          They are noted for their inability to understand that a romance language, like Italian, does not drop the vowels at the end. They drop the vowels on “Parma-zhan” and “pro-zhutt” and “muz-arell” so they can use them later when they say AAAAA OOOOOO

        9. ahhh steak and kidney pie. Another of our many indispensable contributions to culinary art.

        11. whats your recipe for beans and toast? Is this a holdover from WW2? Rationing?

        13. We dont speak the Florentine dialect over here. Still dont know what GABBA-GHOOLZ is

        14. it isn’t Florentine dialect. It is moron dialect. lol.
          “gabbaghoolz” is idiot for capicola which literally translates to head and collar. It is, in a nut shell, a salumi made from those two parts of the pig and is absolutely delicious.
          My favorite is “gabbdeal” which, apparently, is moron of “cavatelli” which is a kind of pasta.

        15. “For the parsley liquor, melt the butter in a saucepan over a medium heat and whisk in the cornflour to make a paste. Gradually stir in the stock, bring to a simmer, then stir in the parsley and garlic and stir until thickened and smooth”
          It tastes awful to be honest. Sweet and sharp as I remember. Fortunately there’s only about 3 pie and eel shops left in London, as Cockneys keep stabbing each other

        16. <<xk. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ir301m:….,……

        17. I will pretty much eat eels in anything. They re awesome. Americans totally miss out on the joy of eels

        18. there is a pub I just found near me that serves proper English pies (changes weekly) and real ale…I like bombardier. Man, that is some good eating. Followed by a plate with the tickler on it and it is a perfect lunch.

        19. My grandmother was straight off the boat. Gravy has meat or meat stock in it, sauce does not. You won’t find anyone in Italy that calls it gravy.

        21. sounds like something they would make you eat on that old tv show Fear Factor

        27. The tastiest damn italian sandwich meat you can buy! Try some out but ask for capicola not gobbley-guck.

        28. I suffer from lolitalian myself, minus calling sauce gravy. I remember when the Soprano boys went to Italy and Paulie is asking for ‘macaroni and gravy’ aka spaghetti and sauce; the waiter basically calls him a white trash American swamp guinnea. Basically.

        29. Ga-VA-deal you ingnoramus! And it is fucking fantastic with some garlic, oil, sausage and broccoli rabe.

        30. its cavatelli. ga-va-deal is how you say it if you are eye-talian lol

        32. I’m lolitalian too. I grew up with the whole thing. At some point I learned that the problem is is that the smart people didn’t leave Italy and risk a boat trip that would kill a large percentage of the passangers to live in ghettos in new York city. The people who came here were so fucking moronic that they couldn’t feed themselves on the most fertile peninsula in the world. It is their ancestors, not the medici brood that came over here.
          I have always wanted to draw a cartoon called Super Satz and Gaba Ghoul. Super Satz would be a superhero with the Gaba ghoul as a nemesis. Only I can’t draw. Why? Because the Italians who could stayed in fucling Italy.
          The other side of my family is german. THey were shit farmers. It’s mud genes everywhere. lol

        33. “wheres the pishadoo” lol. that episode was great when the Italian guy looks at his partner and says “they are worse than the germans”

        37. she would be in there. all of them. I really can’t draw worth a damn though.

        40. gava-deel…lololol Im enjoyed this- too much….gavadeel is how they said it in Brooklyn….gabaghoolz was long island

        42. a true italian would say “give me THE cancer now!”…shame on you

        43. Try a good steak and ale pie. Now that is heaven. Haven’t had one in years though…

        48. Gravy is hot and brown, sauce is cold and red. It’s not a complicated concept.

      4. “the host will be doing most of the work, not his servants”
        You presume the host lacks a harem of wives, concubines, and daughters. That’s a reflection of your own life, not of all men.

    2. I used to do this annually. Usually as a cook-out. I had to teach my girl how to be a hostess however. She didn’t understand how I couldn’t answer the door while I was grilling.

      1. no weddings. My families Christmas eve party is very big. My grandfather, who has since past, lived into his 90’s and other than a short period of time in the 40’s where he visited the pacific, he never left the town. He was the town supervisor for 30 years. Also, he had 5 siblings who also never left the town and all had children of their own who, most of which, stayed local. Now this is a small town in apple country upstate new York. There are about 1500 people of which I am in someway related to about 1/3 of. So Christmas eve at my grandmothers house, who is still alive and cooking, sees a huge sit down dinner and then various cousins and second cousins and family friends and well wishers showing up, eating a bit, having a drink. It is always a very big part with a lot of food and a lot of booze.

        1. xmas eve dinners are a fine thing indeed, specially if there’s a feast or a big spread of food. Used to be a different kind of spread on christmas eve though – traditional hams and beer bread etc

        2. Yeah it’s awesome. My mother’s family is Italian so Christmas Eve is all fish until midnight and at 12 the hams and salamis get broken out. It’s so much food and booze it is physically painful

      2. just figured out what you meant. No several of my cousins had weddings on memorial day so we had to cancel our big outdoor bbq and did it last weekend instead. Christmas eve never cancelled. Not sure if people get married on that day. I doubt it. It would be awfully inconsiderate. But then again, if they are getting married they are being inconsiderate anyway.

        1. yeah, you can’t really get married on xmas eve … the groom would have to wait for xmas day to fuck his present

        2. I can’t understand why the groom, once married, would ever want to fuck his wife

        3. Good point. Still if you’re exchanging gifts with your family under the tree uncle Monty might be prepared to do the honours instead

        4. Hahaha prob. I’m so glad my family dispensed with gifts. So many people. I have 13 nieces and 5 nephews. Instead of buying gifts now I buy 500 bucks worth of candy, put it in a bag that says under 13 only and leave it under tree

        5. That’s a lot of candy. Just don’t get stopped outside a schoolyard on your way home or you may have some explaining to do

    4. I too have done the feast well. It’s a worthwhile skill to have.
      Life is good when a man is a man and not some low energy limp-handshaked sperge-tard.

  2. There are some chicks over at the Buzzfeed comments section that haven’t been laid in years, go check it out.

  3. I am not. I am too busy working from home and making 86.50/an hour. You can be doing this too. Just reply to this comment with “I am a fucking Turd” and then shoot yourself in the head!!!!!

      2. Hey Kneeman, where can I get that fried chicken recipe you were boasting about a few weeks back? I want to make it this weekend.

        2. best fried chicken I ever had was at Emeril’s place in New Orleans

        4. Give this a whirl. If you have a nice heavy cast iron pan and a candy thermometer it is really spectacular. Couple of pro tips. Leave your chicken out for minimum 1 hour before frying. If it isn’t room temperature when you put it in the shortening you will have burned outside, raw inside. Spend the 5 bucks in a home goods store to get that little screen thing that goes over your frying pan. Trust me, you will thank me when you aren’t cleaning up oil for 2 hours after making chicken. Finally, don’t think he is kidding about not letting chicken rest on a flat surface. That shit will get oily. Put it on a cooling rack with paper towel underneath. Oh and storage? Get a disposable paint bucket from hardware store.
          I don’t eat fried chicken but once a year and this is the recipe I always use. Amazing.
          I have, as a side note, perfected roasting a chicken through trial and error and now believe I make the finest roasted chicken.

        7. I’ll give it a shot but I’ve worked on my own particular recipie until I have perfected it. Man, it’s awesome

        8. this looks good. For the skin I use a mix of clarified butter, olive oil, lemon, honey, salt and pepper. I also air dry the chicken for 12 hours with salt. It’s outrageous.
          The acid in the lemon does the same as the vinegar prob

        9. Interesting. How do you air dry it? I assume the salt helps forms a pellicle that traps the juices in.

        10. yes. I got the tip for the Chinese guys who hang ducks.
          First I brine it over night in a solution of 3 gallons of water, 1 cup of salt and 1 cup of brown sugar. Then I basically pack it in kosher salt and then truss it and hang it over my sink for 12 hours and let it drip. Afterwards I wash it I get some butter under the skin and the mixture I mentioned all over the skin. Then I hit with dried herbs which I dry from my garden. I stuff the cavity with the sage I grow, a half Vidalia onion. a quartered lemon and whatever stone fruit seems to be on sale when I am looking to make it (if I get my hands on passion fruit great but usually peach or plum). THen I make a bed of onions in my cast iron and place the bird on it sorrounded by baby potatoes and I cook it at 500 for 30 minutes and lower to 35 for another 15.

        11. That sounds way better than my chicken francese. I guy you dont have a pet? Cat would eat the bird by the time I get home. Find him burping with a toothpick in his mouth

        12. yeah, no pet. I am the only feces producing thing in my house. I feel that is important. However, I am sure you could keep a cat away with a little effort.

        14. I have been cooking my entire life and I really enjoy it. I really excel at sauce. Cream, wine and tomato sauces. I’ve practiced and practiced. Of the things I do well I would say that cooking is in the top three.

        15. Same here. I seriously considered culinary school when I graduated, but went the college route instead. Still have some regrets about that choice.
          Cooking mixed with my crunchy/anarcho leanings basically led me back to hunting and got me into gardening, canning, etc. The goal is to eventually feed myself with only things I grew or killed. The meat part should be relatively easy, but growing produce in the cold is a bit harder.

      1. is it considered fapping if you only think of the woman as an object?

        1. I believe it kind of is in some kind of way. At least there is all the conquering work to do before the act, which makes it better in my eyes than solitary fapping.
          Not that I considere sentimentalist sex superior, quite on the contrary.
          And reproductive sex is also laughable in many ways.

        2. You know the modern average subhuman can’t even imagine chastity. That’s why in some circles I’m often forced to use camouflage : I have in that purpose developped the ability to fake being a nihilist womanizer. I’m quite a good comedian in that regard.
          And women believe it too, since they can feel I don’t need them.
          I’m forced to fake being you, that is the truth.

        3. lol. Nice. Meanwhile, I consider myself chaste and virginal. While my sex toys may have a heart beat they certainly don’t have souls.

        4. you would be surprised how little conquering work there is to do. I am not even kidding. It is so fucking boring at this point that as soon as summer fades and girls stop shopping their wares I will take some time off.
          I figure it works like this. April-May is whore preseason. They start wearing a few dresses and sucking a few cocks working out in the gym.
          Then season starts in june. They go full tilt whore. Fucking and sucking pretty much everything in sight. Then comes the all star game in mid season. In the US this is July 4. They go to the beach to have their walls blown out.
          The season ends in early September. This is when the playoffs begin. The biggest whores are competing with one another.
          Finally the championship. Halloween. This is big time. I mean just a hedonistic festival of fucking multiple strangers you will never speak to again. Day after Halloween girls begin to try to lock shit down so they can get some beta simps to buy them Christmas and valentines day presents while they put on a few pounds and rest their beaten up cunts in the off season.
          I am planning on going full on MGTOW right after Halloween at least for a bit. I will pop my head out for a new years date but that is about it.

        5. Don’t knock reproductive sex man. The volley that became my first was a quick dunk in the morning on a Tuesday, but I knew it was hole-in-one somehow.
          It felt fucking good, seriously.

  7. This is still done around these parts, usually at some farmers barn a couple of times a month. Fish, doves, quail, venison depending on what’s on hand.

    1. I love doves and quail. I would love to try to make a version of the French l’ortolon using a dove.

      1. Maaann! Doves taste so good, it will make ya wanna slap ya grandma! We don’t do any of that that weird French stuff to them though, they get salt, pepper, rolled in flour and dropped in hot oil or wrapped in bacon with Italian dressing poured on them on the grill. Nothing better than a few doves with cheese grits and biscuits on a cold night. Just have to watch out for the bird shot though, depending on how close the shooter was!

        1. salt pepper grill is the only way I have ever had them. But just for a lark (lark, get it) you should try to drown one live in brandy and then cook it rocket hot whole for like 8 minutes and then grab that beak and eat it whole. I hear tell that the sweet brandy will pop out of the lungs and mix with the fats and the sour offal and the bits of blood in your mouth from the bones cutting you and make for a mighty tasty meal.
          In fact, I think I am going to try that with some quail (easier for me to get than doves) next time I go see the fam.

        2. You do it and just tell me how it goes, I will take your word for it.

      1. I seem to remember a jernt in nyc that would make these, you had to order a few days in advance. maybe one of Batali’s places?

        1. I don’t know what it is or how its made but I will find it and I will eat it

        2. it was a few hundred bucks. had to be a group of 6 (maybe 8?) in order to order it…but this was yrs ago, so Im probably off on this

        3. I will find some place that makes it once a month and sells it for an absurd upsell like 30 dollars per piece. If there is a profit to be made on it someone is doing it. If I can’t find it then I will just make it myself for Christmas. When I go upstate to my families house and put it on the big table it will get eaten.

  10. Good, practical advice.
    I was considering this the other day. Getting a big hog to smoke for a few hours and some beer on tap sounds so damn good.
    This can be done any time of the year. I don’t understand why I only think of it in the summer.

    1. We only think of that in the winter here as its too hot in summer in these parts to tend a fire. 🙂

        1. Yep and the air is so thick you have to cut through it with a machete just to walk around.

        3. Me too, it’s too hot to be outside unless you just have to be.

      2. Are you implying that hog pickins are not regular events throughout the summer in Dixie? What part of the south are you from?

        1. Georgia and it’s entirely too hot for pig picking this time of year. It’s best to stay indoors June-August unless you are going swimming.

        2. Yeah, that’s understandable. I’ve noticed the best strategy for beating the heat is alot of cold lager on tap. It was pretty miserable where I grew up too, in the summer. But the heat rarely changed the chow situation.
          The only time I remember any kind of a cookout outside of summer was an occasional bbq or fish fry. But even in the summer, pig roasting wasn’t as typical as it SHOULD have been. I’m starting to think about making those pig roasts a regular kind of thing outside of the summer now even.
          I can see it now. Mid-winter, some kind of dark beer on tap, a big hog roasting, just in case I get tired of eating deer meat every day. This feast concept the article is talking about was an integral part of a man’s life not too long ago. We are missing out southern bro.

  11. <<xk. ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★::::::!ir301m:….,….

  13. Ah yes. Now I’m craving to butcher a goat so we can have some cabrito among friends and family.

  15. Ideas for feast foods:
    – A large, well-marinated beef roast, preferably large enough to feed the entire crowd.
    – Lemon cakes. Very few people dislike lemon cakes. The only people that do are allergic to citrus.
    – Beer. Really. Cheap, and almost universally liked. A good lager is the best. Leave the hard, consistent beers (i.e Guinness) for specialty events.
    Ideas for activities:
    – Pay people to play music. Or have musicians invited to the feast. My family famously asks our guests (and ourselves) to play music or put on a play.
    – Drinking games. Any will do really.
    – Fight pits. Or watching a sporting event.

    1. Play music, AND have someone pop a mic out for some karaoke. It’s amazing to watch drunk men sing belt their feelings out and go on bromance mode when music is on.

    2. “…Or watching a sporting event.”
      This one needs to be carefully arranged, as the SJWs are slowly encroaching on all major, popular sports in the US. It used to be that you could invite the fellas over on Sunday and watch a football game, stress free. Now you are bombarded with NFL players wearing pink, domestic violence spots, and commercials riddled with misandry (women punching men, for example).
      I am currently thinking of a replacement, since my NFL tradition has been destroyed. Perhaps a boxing match. I am not sure at this point.

  16. I host feasts all year long. I make home made sausage and get Oktoberfest beer in late Sept. Thats always a good one. Christmas is another big one for my family. I usually get an entire lamb leg to serve. Fourth of July is a basic cookout but still love it.
    Theres nothing like sharing a meal with your closest family and friends, especially when you’re running the show.

  19. I suppose the humble BBQ is the modern day equivalent of the feast. Men gathering around the grill, sizzling steaks and sausages, talking about cars, football, business and politics, and generally bonding. Older boys and teens are there too, being introduced into the masculine world, under the guiding hand of their father and the other men. Meanwhile women and girls are gathered in a separate space, doing the same.
    Although now I think about it, I can’t even remember the last time I went to a BBQ. I think even that’s become a quaint anachronism alongside the feast.

    1. “talking about cars, football, business and politics, and generally bonding.”
      What kind of fag-lord planet do you come from?! Dude, if that’s the stuff your local guys talk about then you’re definitely surrounded by closet homosexuals.

      1. So what do men talk about in your neck of the woods? Crocheting and netball I suppose. I refuse to take criticism about masculinity from someone who has a rainbow-haired teen girl as their avatar. Now fuck off idiot.

        1. Men talk about how hairy their chest is and how much blood came out the chicken’s neck when I cut its head off. Things like that.
          If you’re a closet homosexual, though, and I offended you at your attempts to be a real man, then I’m truly sorry. Truly.

        2. Oh no.. a douche pretending to be a girl on the internet has insulted my manhood. Whatever shall I do.

        3. I’m not pretending to be a girl… I might be masquerading a little bit, but I’ve told everybody a dozen times that I’m a man.

  20. Need to put the women to work peeling vegetables, then serving food and pouring beer, and later they do all the cleaning up. Otherwise, what’s the point? Watching women do sexist stuff is the funnest part of a good feast.

  21. Better ideas for feast:
    Slaughter your own chickens after the guests have arrived (tie it to a block and axe its head right off is easiest), get your daughters to pluck them, then gut them yourself, then get your wife to cook them while your concubines serve your own beer (and men who came without women have to pour their own beer).
    Don’t worry about vegies or anything, just cook meat, but then complain “Where’s the fucken vegies” when your wife serves only meat and send her off to cook the second course with the other women while the men eat all the meat.
    Make sure any man who pours his own beer because he doesn’t have a woman to do it for him is ridiculed.
    Entertainment should include punching each other. A feast without a fight isn’t a feast at all.
    Serve excessive tomato sauce with the meat.
    Dessert should be something hot and cooked separately over a long time, like spotted dick with unwhipped cream (only fags whip cream).
    Entertainment should be cock fights. Roosters are fucken awesome.

      1. I’m talking about oven-cooked rice, you know. I get the feeling you’re after a cock dipped in honey and sprinkled with hundreds and thousands. No, sorry.

  22. I think you missed a very important reason. It builds leadership and practical organization. You envision a good evening and you bring it to life instead of sitting around thinking how it would be great in a procrastinating way. It also improves game and improves your way around handling a date. When you work on a project you will be at the front being thw doer

  24. Sounds good on paper, but I can just picture all the whining and bitching from ungrateful pricky little shits about the feast being veg-friendly, organic-bio, gluten-free, diary free, alcohol-regulated in consideration of recovering alcoholics and so on… in the end people don’t deserve such fine attentions anymore … or perhaps it’s just me being nihilist again.

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