Self-improvement in all its manifestations has been the rage for years now, becoming a huge industry on its own. Everyone is on the race to become better, resolve their insecurities and desires, and be successful as much as they can. But because of the sheer volume of self-improvement materials out there along with all the people who approach them with the wrong idea, the whole movement has turned into just another form of consumerism. Your never-ending journey towards self-mastery must now be done with the right mindset and implementations to get the most out them.
So, if you’ve been spending a lot of money and time without seeing much results, check out the following reasons to see where things might have gone awry.
1. You care too much about motivation
Motivation has to be—by far—the most overrated aspect of achieving success and also the most often used excuse for lack of effort. I also notice that young people, especially, tend to whine most about motivation as they’ve been trained to do what they’re told all their lives instead of being motivated by their own volition.
Here’s a tip for beginners: forget about motivation. If you constantly monitor yourself to see how you feel before you start something, you’ll never accomplish anything. You can read some blog by pathological narcissists and watch lame Youtube videos to get “fired up,” but that emotional high isn’t going to last long enough for you to get anywhere. Instead, the ingredients for success are: organization, discipline, and perseverance.
But if you still insist on chasing motivation, I have a piece of good news for you: you can gain motivation by taking action. Yes, sucking-up and doing the plain old hard work will motivate you more than any amount of motivational garbage you entertain yourself with. Always remember that action must come first and that it’s all that matters in life.
2. You don’t differentiate between interests and dedications
When people are young and dumb, they feel invincible as though they can conquer the world tomorrow. I’ve met my share of individuals with delusional goals who thought they could achieve it all because they’ve been conditioned to feel entitled to all their heart’s desires. These people typically jump from one area of interest to another without sticking to it, giving up as soon as their fickle emotions fizzle out or when they realize just how much time and work is necessary to master them.
To avoid this mistake, understand that your time in this world is brief. You don’t know how short your life is until you get older and the reality hits you. So, learn to differentiate between what’s actually important for you to dedicate yourself to against all the things that you simply feel is important or interesting. Just because you find something cool and exciting it doesn’t mean that it is something worth jumping into.
3. You want quick results
We are living in quick times. People don’t want to be told that they have to work long and hard for what they want; they want easy solutions and see results NOW. Marketers know this, so they’ll deliberately exaggerate potential results and promise them in a short period of time to lure customers who gladly dish out their cash. I personally thought I was too smart to fall for this trick, but I gave in more times than I want to admit.
As a counter, remind yourself that nothing worthwhile ever comes fast and easy. Quick result might be possible for the gifted few in specific circumstances, but don’t aim for it. Go at your own pace and focus on the process and your efforts rather than the end goal itself; results will come in when they’re ready. And this brings us to the next point.
4. You are too goal-oriented
The surest way to be unhappy.
Being goal-oriented and constantly imagining how great things would be once you realize your desire is the fastest way to demoralize yourself. This is the reason why people quit the gym after few months or give up on learning a new language or a musical instrument only after cursory effort. They see the process as something horrible that needs to be overcome to realize their dream—and that’s the wrong attitude to have.
Instead of being goal-oriented, you must be process-oriented and enjoy every step of the way—your desire to learn and grow must be greater than the dream of having reached the end. To put in other words, have the goal as a guidance towards where you want to go, but don’t focus your attention on it. Another method to counter this goal-oriented thinking is to break down your project into smaller steps for the little victories. This is especially useful for those who have difficulty getting “motivated.”
5. You believe in bullshit
Guess which demographic is most likely to use feel good bullshit as a means of “self-improvement.”
Unfortunately, there are too many junk information floating around in the self-help industry disguised as the real thing. Even popular and well-established guru like Tony Robbins and others are prone to making outlandish claims and believing in their own bullshit, leading to dozens of people with burn injuries (but I guess those people just lacked “faith” in themselves).
Here are some rule of thumb to screen self-help material that is most likely bogus:
- It focuses too much on your feelings, self-esteem, and positivity (there are actually studies that reveal how people who are grumpy and pessimistic end up being more successful in many areas of life).
- It tells you to lie to yourself until you believe it (i.e. “affirmations” like the one you see in the above picture).
- It uses a lot of unscientific information and concepts.
- It emphasizes mental masturbation over taking action by facing up to challenges.
- It makes outlandish promises and tries too hard to sell you.
If anything, just remember that if it sounds like bullshit, it probably is.
6. You read too much and do too little
The elephant in the room regarding the self-help industry is that far too many people are buying and reading self-help materials without actually applying them in life. These people read the books and blogs the same way they do with novels: as mental stimulation. They jump from one book to another hoping that all the information they absorb will magically permeate into their lives while they barely (if at all) take any action to make things happen.
Your knowledge means nothing without action. It’s far better to read ten books and dedicate yourself to applying the knowledge to your life than to read 100 books and do nothing except fooling yourself into thinking that you’re wise and all-knowing. To pick the right materials, choose ones that help you organize your life and offer you practical ideas and guidance that you can follow through. It’s much better than going through materials that merely try to hype you up with emotions.
But above all, the best way to learn is through trial and error. The great men of past didn’t need any self-help mumbo-jumbo to achieve glory. Know that it is folly to overload yourself with information in hopes that you won’t ever make mistakes or experience failure. Mistakes and failures are process of learning. This is not to say that you should reject preparation: be prepared as much as necessary, but just not to a point where it impedes your ability to get started. I think a good ratio of time spent reading to doing is 20:80. If you happen to read more than you are doing, then you definitely need to get out more.
7. You have misguided goals
If you’re still having great difficulty achieving the goals you set for yourself and being satisfied with them, you should probably ask yourself why you wanted them in the first place. Why do you want more money, more sex, more strength, more knowledge, more travels, or more status? What is the core motivation behind your desire? Is this something you truly want for yourself or is it something that you’ve come to believe is important because the society told you so for years? Do you want to achieve greatness for petty and superficial reasons or to actualize your strive to assert who you are in this world? Are you being idealistic or practical?
Once you get your motives straightened out, it just might be possible for everything else to click in place and set you in motion. Sometimes, a burning purpose above all other mortal desires is all that a man needs in this world.
Read More: Self-Improvement Is Not Just For Young Guys
#8: You never fail and are afraid to. Aside from failure being regular during the process, it is usually also the catalyst for the process itself. People who never fail, and are afraid to do so, are the type of people that avoid self improvement because it forces you to face the uncomfortable truth that you are failing at something. Do not be afraid of failure, embrace it and learn from it.
#9: You don’t actually want it.
When I was a kid, there was a video game I really wanted, so I grabbed my parents’ lawn mower and started knocking on doors. I could only just see over the bar and I had migraines, but I pushed that old thing over a few thousand square feet of lawn for that game. (It’s still probably my favorite – absolutely no regrets)
Napoleon Hill said there was a big difference between wishing for something and desiring it. If you desire something, you will do what it takes to make it happen, but if you just wish for it you will never get it.
What can make a pudgy average guy hit the gym every week? If he is driven by a desire to look like Arnold, he will work through the stiffness and the plateaus. If he is driven by a desire to be desirable to women, he will work as much as necessary to achieve that desire. But if he just says, “I should really lose some weight,” he’ll never get anywhere.
I agree, and I think this is closely tied to my point about failure. In your scenario, you started in a default state of failure – you didn’t have what you desired, and wouldn’t have it unless you took action. You also risked failure to get what you wanted. People could have told you to fuck off, or cheated you, or you could have been injured, or you could have spent your money frivolously and never gotten the game. But you started with failure and risked more, and ultimately were rewarded.
What game, BTW?
Majora’s Mask
Oh man, I used to love some Zelda. This was the last one I played though. It came out just before I joined the Marines, and I bought it, but never finished it.
The only Zelda game I’ve ever played was the original Legend of Zelda on the NES. Need to get an emulator so I can play it again.
That’s why I can’t wait to get the replica NES console. Finally I can finish the original Zelda, and also Double Dragon.
ah, Double D! Game starts off with guy slugging a chick in gut, and throwing her over his shoulder. would make a shitlib’s head explode nowadays
I beat LoZ once and then discovered you start over from the beginning but the dungeons are different. I about lost it.
Original Zelda was great. I also liked A Link to the Past and Ocarina of Time.
Plus you can see her undies while she’s carried away. Not gonna lie, as a kid, I found that to be pretty hot.
I must have played DD thousands of times as a kid. I was never able to beat it. Always killed on the final boss.
pixel poontang!
#10: Jerk off less.
If you tell yourself that the only time you’re allowed to cum is inside a cute girl who wants you to explore her insides, you’re going to find a way into some pussy.
I have found this to be true. I also think it has helped with other aspects of life like general energy and strength levels.
It isn’t going to help your wallet and prostate lol
Both my wallet and prostate are very healthy and, yes, I think in part to just this. I have energy, time and the confidence that comes with only coming for human beings. Do my dates cost more? Sure. Does that confidence spill out into my life making me a more valuable human being? Doubly so.
Think and Grow Rich and As A Man Thinketh are all the self-improvement material you ever need.
I just purchased two really nice copies of Think and Grow Rich for my two oldest sons and told them they had to read it. Made very sure I got the 1937 edition as well. Many of the copies you buy today are heavily edited.
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/416g11qikYL._SX368_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg This is a nice, unedited edition.
i’ve read both, and prefer the modern edition
That’s exactly how I learned to achieve results. I owned a lawnmower at age 11. I went up and down the streets of my town knocking on doors, carrying a sweat cloth, motor oil, and a can of gasoline with me. If I wanted special shoes for sports or that nice new baseball glove, I needed to cut some grass. It taught me a lot and helped prepare me to achieve real results in my adult life. It taught me that trying and working will get me a hell of a lot further than worrying about feelings and waiting for something external to motivate me.
What game was it?
I have failed so many bloody times in my life. I look around, and I’m not in a bad place. Could be better, I want it to be better.
I daren’t think of where I’d be now if I hadn’t tried and failed at things or been afraid of failure.
There’s always only one reason – low testosterone!
Affirmations can be effective if they are focused on process and not feeling such as “I love to go to the gym every morning”.
Great point about reading too many books. I’d add too much time on the Internet or tube as well.
Self-help industry scam #1: The Secret
It’s such an obvious scam that I wonder why it is not banned and its authors jailed.
That sounds like a great self-help book: “The Biggest Secret To Self Help Success – There Are No Secrets.”
You’d probably sell a million copies (as long as the government gets their cut, you will not be jailed).
I remember a business seminar hosted by none other than Donald J. “First secret to business success? Charge everyone that comes to learn the secret to business success.”
Because we live in a world of free speech (haha). Irony off.
The law of attraction is a very real thing… but The Secret wouldn’t have sold nearly as well if it told you about the part where you actually have to DO stuff, and that simple thinking doesn’t put money in your bank account or Victoria Secret models on your prick.
We call the religious version of The Secret “prayer.”
If someone imagined and publicized prayer now as a new ritual to make things magically appear in your life, we would see how absurd it sounds. But because religions have grandfathered in prayer from the childhood of the race, it gets a pass.
People should have figured out the problem with prayer during the Reformation, when Protestants became in effect “atheistic” towards Mary and the saints. The Protestant Christians who stopped praying to these lesser supernaturals seemed to do no better and no worse in life than the Catholics who maintained the old ways.
The only shortcut to success is a fat rock of kratom in your pipe each morning.
Pfft pussy. I melt my kratom down and bang that shit. Ive had my sternum surgically removed just so i can inject it straight into my heart.
And HE’S the pussy? I go skydiving, without a parachute, into my private lake of Kratom every morning. Refreshing.
Pfft. That lake is on lease. I’m the owner
My Kratom pipelines drinking milkshake from across the Caspian Sea 😀
Skydiving? Chump. I do a wing suit base jump and land directly into a desert of kratom which I then, with one harsh inhale, snort and Jump, in a single bound, back to the top of the mountain
You use a wing suit? Didn’t know you were such a bitch. I dive into my lake naked…and that’s from 35,000 feet. I used to jump right back up to the plane, but those commercial airliners are just so damn flimsy. I can’t keep replacing them.
Sissy boys, I have my own Kratom orchard , after I do naked somersaults through it in the mornings I go elephant hunting with a pocket knife. Kratom has changed my life, I’m so tough I can chew up a 10 penny nail and spit out a barb wire fence.
You still gotta chew the nail? Pft!
And what’s this hunting elephants with a pocketknife? I kill them with my bare hands.
Pocket knife? Wow, wussy. After taking kratom I elephant hunt using nothing but my penis and I don’t even leave my New York apartment to do it, I just stand near the window which faces Africa, snort a line of kratom, thrust my hips and gore one
Men in my family aren’t allowed to use Kratom because of the accident caused by one of my ancestors. It took centuries to clean that mess.
I use a pocket knife to give them a sporting chance.
Do you use that as a spit to cook them on? Lol
duh
lol seriously? Thats just my morning routine. After I snort a fat line of kratom off my model bitch’s DDD tits for breakfast I start my day off by high fiving my boy D-trump while simultaneousy punching bruce jenner in the dick so hard that faggot considers changing back to a man again. Then I hit the garage and bench press my bently for 100 sets of 1000 reps with no rest in between. After I get done with that i smoke a fuckin pound of kratom and spend my afternoon wrestling robot bears because regular bears can’t handle my shit, then I come home and blow 40 pounds of cocaine to take the edge off the kratom and wind down after a long day of being better than all of you which leaves me just enough time to drag God out to the woodshed where I keep all my kratom and fuck that bitch in the ass. #nocondom #nolube #nomercy #kratomlife Then after I dodge a bunch of false rape allegations from God because he’s butthurt and doesn’t wanna admit he secretly likes that rough shit I go to bed on a pile of activated kratom except instead of sleeping I OD and die but still come back to life in the morning because death is a pussy kratom hating bitch that knows better than to come fuck with me.
Milkshake wins! I drink your milkshake! I drink it up!
I go to the Kratom dimension via the Event Horizon dimension. Then I come back through it.
Just one? That’s just what it takes me to get normal in the morning
Have you tried stacking Kratom, Coffee, and Phenibut in the morning? It’s simply divine.
I mix it with gun powder and poor it on my Corsican cheese. Then the cheese comes to life, rapes and eats an entire city before coming back to me. Then I eat the cheese.
Oooh. I’ve done something similar with Fugu, but never cheese. I assume the gunpowder is a replacement for pepper?
Jesus did this with fish.
No….no….not quite.
A lot gets lost in translation
You must be reading the hippy version…
Stop twisting everything you nihilist maniac.
http://www.ebonics-translator.com/ebonibible.php
I’m speechless….this is truly the funniest thing I’ve seen all day.
I saw this in a Barnes and Noble book store while waiting in line at a theater on opening day of the move the crow so that was like what? 94 or 95. I am still laughing about it
Muh Nigga, Dat Be In Heaven, Chillin’ Be Thy Name, Yo. I Get Me Some, My Ho’ Is Fun, On Foot Toward 7-11. Gimmie Some Loot, Or I’ll Shoot You Dead, & Give Out Some Guest Passes, As We Go To Shows, Via The Bus, & Troop Us Not Into Temptation, But Deliver Us From Whitey, WORD!!
Big Daddy. It will never not be funny
Did I just read the King LeBron James Bible?
You might be the funniest frenchman ever. All those Jerry Lewis comedies are finally paying some dividends
Lol
ALTHOUGH… if you happen to own a Yeti or RTIC cup, you can mix some kratom in with the water in your ice cube trays, put it in your cup & enjoy ice-cold kratom cubes for a couple of days.
If you freeze kratom it turns to ice-9. Trouble with that for sure.
How dare you freebase this sacred mineral!
Anyone stack kratom with some test prop, a little deca, and some trenbolone?
Or is the gear just not needed?
That’s literally overboard.
Have you survived in a world of psycho Nazi killer racist homophobes? Didn’t think so.
That’s figuratively Anne Frank. Bitch.
Kratom suppository or nothing.
Solid.
The advice in this article applies to success at work 100%.
“3. You want quick results”
On the one hand you have the gullible type pictured, falling for “sixpack shortcut” scams.
On the other hand you have the kind of guy who a buys a gym membership and immediately sticks a needle in his ass.
On your juicing point, I have seen some big guys who juice. But undoubtedly, the strongest guys I have ever met are people who work hard. Some guys I know in construction or farming could literally break guys who look huge in the gym, but only have gym strength.
If you want to get big, maybe that’s fine. But if you want to be strong, there are no shortcuts.
I’m reading a text on aesthetics for the heck of it and all I can hear is Bro Science guy.
Ha, you mean Dom over at BroScienceLife? He’s a funny guy but his content kind of got stale for me after the first 70 or so videos, so I haven’t been following him lately.
What’s the book? I’m interested because I’m on the cusp of entering my first bodybuilding contest. Regrettably, I’ve found that I have about 5-10 more pounds to lose (after already reaching my target weight), but I’m rolling with it and now have a bit more time to pinpoint and workout certain weaknesses and fine tune my posing.
I’ve begun to explore relevant literature on the subject, especially considering that over the course of my prep I found that I know dick-all about posing. It took me a full year to identify two tricks for the side-chest pose that make all the difference and are probably common knowledge to those with proper training.
Does your book offer anything worthwhile in this regard (posing tips, identifying/measuring disproportions, key points of symmetry, anything outside of the obvious)?
I’ve been training for a decade, never used a thing. Yet, I outlift (and certainly outrun) the vast majority of juicers at my gym. I warm up with some of these guys’ max. There is simply no substitute for muscle maturity and all-around athleticism.
I had uncles and cousins who were farmers. Never worked out a day in their lives, yet could crush your hand whenever they gave you a handshake. And that was when they were friendly towards you.
Most people fail at self improvement because they are not honest with themselves.
I realized this when I read Chris from Good Looking Loser who said : “this isn’t about getting good with women, finding a girlfriend, being social. This is about getting laid” He was the only one willing to give hardcore advice while most of the manosphere still turned their noses up about steroids, penis enhancement, leaning some fashion etc.
Once I became honest about my desire to get laid and made getting laid my number one goal everything went easier. I started doing penis enhancement and started buying good clothes whereas previously I felt pride about “not following fashion”. I realize what sheep I was.
I also set ultra-specific goals like : get an inch in 6 months. Do the first 2 weeks of Approach Anxiety program, etc.
The reason most people fail at self improvement is because there is very little legit hardcore advice on self improvement. Most people still use platitudes about how evil steroids are and how using certain forms of game are “beta” (just look at the comments from the previous article about gaming Seeking Arrangement. Where others are still playing ” I’m too good for that bullshit” ).
Then there is the fact most people are not honest about their desires. Young guys need to accept there is nothing wrong with dedicating 2 years to maximizing your woman skills and working on your looks. If guys who are insecure about their dick size actually bought extenders and penis pumps and worked on it for a year their life would get better. But no, they would rather complain about their dick size and circumsion, which are both fixable these days, than actually take action because it’s all a “scam”.
So unless you are hardcore honest about what you want, you’ll get little. And how much advice is there for guys who are actually into hardcore self improvement rather than mantra reading. Guys who are serious will take every opportunity, every shortcut. Use any steroid compound, use any chemicals to help yourself (think Kratom, Phenibut) . Meanwhile dishonest dudes would rather talk about inner game and how doing it’s all about the way you feel and some abstract principles. Manospherians are also guilty of this when they go autistic when they tell guys to “never be friends with women”, rather than telling them, “be friends with everybody, get connections, just don’t be a beta orbiter”. It’s all about PRINCIPLES to them you see.
TL ; DR Be honest about your desires and insecurities. If you want to get laid, dedicate a part of your life to it. If you think your dick is small, get into PE and get over it already. Hardcore action over mental masturbation. That’s why there is almost no real self-improvement advice on the net.
you can increase your penis size? an inch in a month?
I No, an inch in 6 – 12 months.
Look into penis extenders, water pumps and manual exercise.
I use a SizeGenetics extender and Bathmate water pump. Before that I did jelqing and stretching.
I went from 7 to 8 inches in 9 months.
yeah i ‘ve heard of jelqing etc but never really believed. also, I like my dick, didn’t seem worth the risk to make it bigger. (imagined risk – that’s a part of my body i don’t really wanna fuck with too much)
how does it affect girth? and do you still get boners like before, or .. i imagine not as rigid?
“Manospherians are also guilty of this when they go autistic when they tell guys to “never be friends with women”, rather than telling them, “be friends with everybody, get connections, just don’t be a beta orbiter””
this is true. i’ve been guilty of sliding a little too far in that direction.looking at women in a binary DTF or not kind of way.
thanks for the reminder
Sorry for late reply.
Yes it is safe if done right, in fact it increased my horniness and erection quality.
Just use reasonable tension and give it proper rest and you will be fine.
Penile enlargements works through 3 mechanisms : getting the inner penis hanging, hyperplasia and hypertrophy.
Hypertrophy means muscle cells grow in size. Hyperplasia means micro-scars form that heal overnight thus causing new muscle growth.
This is how usual bodybuilding works. And just as in bodybuilding, proper training + recovery will only bring benefits.
The only 3 risks are breaking your penis due to overstretching, blood clots or dead tissue from lack of blood. And it takes A LOT of effort to do that. Do everything properly and you will be all right.
I experienced growth of an inch in 9 months as well as better erection quality, with more hard boners and higher erection angle as we increased horniness. When I do PE regularly I always wake up with solid boners and am energetic.
Combine PE with kegels and you will be gold. Bite the bullet, you won’t regret it. One of the best things out there if you are serious about if.
I don’t really have a problem with dick size but money and fashion are two areas that I’m atrocious with. Particularly fashion. It is important to dress well or learn how to.
Absolutely agree. I used to dress horrendously. I shudder thinking about it.
As for money. If you really want to have a player lifestyle you must be able to rent a studio apartment in a good place of a big city + money for gym and diet + good clothes, and if you want to save anything, then yeah that’s a lot. Not to mention if you have some urgent health issue. God save your ass.
Being a player can be more expensive than one thinks. I realized that after I barely had money for food and rent in a small city.
as my software engineering lecturer said:
“you can read all you want about swimming, but cannot learn until you jump in the water. Same as software”
wise man!
Self-improvement won’t increase your sexual market value if women don’t find you attractive in the first place.
Attractiveness is relative. Mick Jagger’s face probably looks like his ballsack, but women run to his bed.
Don’t ya know? Women love ballsacks! Especially when they ejaculate sperm AND money.
It’s all about resources. Looks are only relevant because they used to signal resources, in a low-material environment.
True. While we can’t discard looks completely, they do fade away. At the end of the day, that’s where men will no.doubt have an advantage over women, assuming they don’t piss away their resources.
looks are extremely important, my success improved dramatically once I slimmed down, muscled up, grew a beard and dressed fashionably. Even though I was poorer!
attractiveness isn’t your problem. Betaness is much worse.
if you are deficient in looks, money, or status you need to be higher in one of those areas. if you are lacking in looks you need more status and money to make up for it
This is such a great article! Whenever young people embark upon a new milestone (highschool graduation, college commencement day), a mature and wise person should deliver these lines as a speech to the young and dumb. Dumbness would cease sooner (except for those resistant to advice) and lots of life ruining decisions could be avoided.
That’s why demotivational posters were invented, to counteract the sugary diabetic substance of motivational posters. And yes, if you need a kitty hanging from a rope to tell you to “hang in there,” then life must really suck for you.
http://www.marcofolio.net/images/stories/fun/imagedump/demotivational_posters/politics.jpg
Most of the MPs I see are either in Military offices, or at female desks.
A great way to be process oriented is to treat everything as if you are a conquerer. The end result takes a backseat to winning.
The only true self improvement comes from wisdom through the word of God.
just as long as that word isn’t coming through the church.
Article reminded me of two quotes:
Talk is cheap, whisky costs money.
Zelazny
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
Calvin Coolidge
Motivation is for the weak minded.
Truth is, if you are not motivated, either you set yourself a goal you dont really want to achieve or you dont believe in yourself.
You should never need motivation to put 100% effort into what you want to achieve.
Advice is cheap, the actual effort into improvement is not.
Here is my cheap advice……browse a bit until you find advice you like and then work on it. Ignore other advice until you substantially improve.
Self improvement is Literally Hitler
I think motivation is a waste of time. You do things because you like them and the rewards they give you. As long as you absorb in your “heart” that if you don’t do them; your willing to accept the consequences. Example: if your a fat gal – you don’t diet- well, you will get less looks. Your choice. …. If you don’t go to college – don’t expect doctor pay. If you don’t work out- expect your body to decay. Eat like a pig- get fat and take the health consequences. Smoke like a chimney- get lung cancer etc.;;;. For some reason; people know these things but do them anyway – deny the consequences….. The only regret anyone should have is getting educated by fools- hence; you become one yourself.
Other reason for failure is the material one is basing his self-improvement.
Most of the self-help industry is neither based on scientific evidence or, in many cases, are actually contradicted by much available evidence. Lilienfeld (2012) estimates that of the 3,500 self-help books that are published each year, only about 5 percent of them have any scientific validation.
After gaining an understanding of Psychology and reading a diverse range of self-help books, I can attest that. Indeed, most of them are 100% pure crap. Nothing beats therapy with someone who actually knows how to, because most psychotherapists are also full of crap.
Lilienfeld, S. O. (2012). Public skepticism of psychology: Why many people perceive the study of human behavior as unscientific. American Psychologist, 67, 111–129
Excellent red pill article. Reminds me very much of Baltasar Gracián’s book, The Art of Worldly Wisdom that I read once a year. No fluff, no pretty stories, just “This is the way the world works. Deal.”
“This is the reason why people quit the gym after few months or give up
on learning a new language or a musical instrument only after cursory
effort.”
For those of you trying to learn a foreign language, remember that you will experience long stretches where it will feel like you’re making no progress at all, but if you stick with it and put in at least an hour of study every day, no excuses, you’ll eventually get it. When I was learning Russian I went through a period of about six months where I was studying two to four hours a day and seemed to be making almost no progress at all. Nevertheless, I kept at it and now a few years later I’m conversational and can read classic Russian literature like Dostoevsky in the original.
The best thing to do is reflect on where you were a year previous. Guaranteed you are much better now.
When you’re really studying/training, you will feel a plateau, but your performance will see an increase. What separates the men from the boys is mucking through that plateau.
Good read. I have to say that affirmations can be deemed helpful. You need to create a narrative inside your head of who you want to be. At the same time, you have to take actions to carry out that narrative, thus making it a reality. Self-talk combined with action is the only way that’ll lead to results. The challenge is—can you and that narrative recover when you hit an obstacle or fail?
So right about motivation. IF you need motivation to actually get off your ass and exercise then there’s something wrong with you. YOU MIGHT need it the very first week you exercise but even after long breaks it should be second nature.
This article is the cold-hard truth served to everyone regardless of whether they want it or not. It’s true that sometimes, we often focus on some areas of our being such as our feelings and motivation before we take actions and sadly these things are fickle and can be unrealiable. A lot of times, people have the necessary things they need to succeed. They just have to determine what those things are and look deeper in to themselves.
This article gives us the cold hard truth about self development whether it be personal or professional. Admittedly, when people decide that they want to grow, they tend to look for motivation and shortcut-filled blueprint on how they plan to reach such “growth”. And while it seems convincing at first, it simply wouldnt work in the long run. To achieve growth, every person must go through the long, systematic but purpose-driven road. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and truth be told, so will the best version of you.
Guilty of reading ROK too much and not implementing enough
Same.
Also there’s the “if you’re not good at what you do, why do you persist in doing it?” In other words, just because you want to do something doesn’t you’ll succeed no matter how much you try. Some people are better suited to some tasks than others.
It’s interesting. In every field there are those who naturally have an aptitude and those who have an interest but no actual aptitude. I imagine it’s hard for the former to put up with the latter, but on the other hand it’s a good growth opportunity for those in the latter group, they have more to learn.
Great post!
I would add something to this. The book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck,” points something out that’s brilliant. The author describes a woman he knows who is a fantastic example of a self-help junkie. She reads all these books, does all these things…and is a total disaster. He realized that the reason why is that her values are a total mess. Avenues for self-improvement are tools, and nothing more. Your values are what drive the way you use them (or if you use them at all). If you don’t even know your own values…well, you’re sailing without a rudder, and trying to self-improve is the same thing as just putting up more sail at the same time.
The Book “The Subtle art of not giving a fuck” is an excellent read, learn to stop giving a fuck about what other people might think, they don’t care. Drop your BS you are telling yourself.
Of Course easier said than do in some cases.
Good article. That third picture must be the Jack of All Trades. (That’s me somewhat.)
I’m looking forward to Jordan Petersons 12 rules for life. I have a lot more faith in him being that he is the spiritual antithesis to wu wu merchants like Deepak Chopra