Nightlife in Gothenburg can be hit or miss depending on when you go out and how the weather is. When I was there, on one Friday night there were more people in the Burger King on a popular square than in the club across the street. So I just stood in front of the Burger King.

You’re generally going to find a good spot on Friday and Saturday nights, but for pickup you’ll have to head to the clubs because there are surprisingly few American-style bars where people aren’t seated. There are two things to keep in mind:

• Some of the higher end clubs feature very beautiful Swedish girls, but isolation borders on impossible. A girl’s friends won’t let you mack in peace, especially once you move up in attractiveness.
• Get ready for some outrageous cover charges. Going early may help, but brace yourself for $20 entry fees at places that don’t call for it.

And now here’s my top five:

5. Locatelli Bar. It feels like a Fellini film with its assembly of strange, self-important characters. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays there may be a strong crowd at around 11pm.

4. Calor. This is a grimey bar that features thirsty African guys and the Swedish girls who love them. If you’re a black guy, you may want to pop in. What’s interesting about the Swedish girls here is that many of them dressed in slutty clothing. You knew they were looking for that big D.

3. Sticky Fingers. A rock bar that attracts a low level of talent. Nonetheless, the logistics make it the best “pickup” spot in Gothenburg. Girls are friendly and guys are clueless. I got my flag here.

2. Excet. Huge club with a large amount of young talent. It’s actually a pretty fun spot with various rooms and also a huge outdoor terrace. It was a bit intimidating to conquer solo and even after several hours I had nothing to show for my efforts. Your best bet here is to go for the foreign girls in pairs since they were the most receptive. The cockblock here was pretty much automatic for me.

1. Yaki Da. International club that may be the only place that has people early in the week. At first I was kind of annoyed that there were so many foreigners (both guys and girls), but this is actually an advantage because the Swedish girls here want the multicultural penis. I met a drunk Swedish girl who insisted that we kiss but only if my lips were completely dry. That wasn’t strange at all. One more note I can make about Sweden is that there is absolutely no discrimination against minorities. It’s like the diversity ideal.

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