Mind

8 Ways To Turn Your Insecurities Around

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Insecurities are something people don’t want to admit having due to the negative connotations associated with them. This is especially true for men as we know that it conveys the impression that we are weak and fragile, a sin that the opposite sex will not forgive us for. Other men, too, find it infectious and tend to avoid those who they believe suffer from insecurities. So while I think it’s justified to hide them, I think it’s more important to deal with them the right way.

The following steps will help you overcome your insecurities or at least greatly reduce their grip over you.

1. Know that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing

Insecurity in itself is not a bad thing; it’s how you respond to it that matters. Like the much maligned stress, it is a necessity for your daily function—it keeps you in check so that you conform to the values of society and not fall from your potential. Like stress, insecurity only becomes bad when it is excessive and out of control. And you know what kind of people suffer from no insecurities? Slackers, degenerates, and sociopaths.

2. Avoid negative coping strategies

yelling

Insecure people tend to cope by covering their anxieties or releasing them in various ways that aren’t always helpful. See if you can identify ones you do yourself from the following:

  • Being overly critical of others to a point where you spend more time putting others down instead of focusing on yourself.
  • Avoiding situations that trigger your insecurities or just withdrawing completely.
  • Obsessing over your real or perceived flaws and getting bitter and depressed about it.
  • Trying to control others because you have no control over your own anxieties.
  • Needlessly lashing out in anger.

3. Change your perspective

fullsizerender

This is essentially a way of re-framing your thoughts around whatever you believe is your flaw or shortcoming. For example, I’m quite short, but I never really suffered from a serious insecurity around my height because I just joke to myself that I would make a good leader (or a dictator). And when I read about great figures in present and history who had their own share of flaws and misgivings, I see them as quirks that attribute to their genius. There have been many powerful and talented men who were shy, depressed, celibate, pessimistic, bad-tempered, suffering from ill health, and so on.

4. Know what you can change and what you can’t

This is an age-old wisdom everyone should attain. Knowing the difference between the two will save you a lot of trouble and help you focus on improving in areas of your life that you have power over. Insecure about your weight and status? You can change those, start working on them. Insecure about your height or ethnicity? You can’t change those, so forget about them and focus on other areas of your life to make up for them.

5. Get rid of artificial insecurities

When I say artificial insecurities, I am referring to the ones created by our consumerist society. The most common of these insecurities are ones based on money, status, and success. I’m not saying that pursuing these three are necessarily bad in anyway, but our modern culture—especially American culture—tends to overdrive the desire for those three to a point of anxiety and obsession.

Pursue money, status, and success to all your heart’s desire, but just know that you don’t need to feel insecure about them to attain them. And this brings us to our next point.

6. Accept your current station in life

carneige

Andrew Carnegie started from being dirt poor and ended up as one of the richest man in America.

Acceptance of who you are at this moment goes a long way. Whatever may have happened to you in the past, no matter how unfortunate and “unfair,” you must accept it. No matter what you may be concerned with, whatever flaws you perceive in yourself, whatever desires remain unfulfilled, you must accept them all. You must also be process-oriented rather than goal-oriented so that you derive your self-worth from the progress you’re making rather than feeling bad about how far you are from your dreams.

To give you another personal example, I am poor. Besides what I saved up from years of slavery, I currently make peanuts. I earn just enough to get by and I don’t see my situation changing anytime soon. I have already come to terms with my financial situation and I don’t waste my time comparing myself with other more “successful” individuals. And because of that, I don’t feel any insecurity about my wealth or status. This doesn’t mean that I’m a slacker without an ambition who plans to continue living with low income; I have plans which I’m acting upon. It just means that I have accepted this as the inevitable stage of my life that I must go through—having anxiety about money will only make things worse.

7. Press on your insecurities

How many men complain about women when they don’t even approach them?

People often repeat in many variations that you shouldn’t care about what others think about you—that opinions of others shouldn’t influence you. But simply reminding yourself of that mantra doesn’t cut it. It isn’t enough to tell yourself not to care about what others think about you, you have to constantly put yourself in situations that will challenge your insecurities. You have to face rejections, you have to face criticisms, you have to face failures, and you have to continue on and on until your insecurities are dulled.

Think about it. Who’s going to overcome their insecurity faster: a man who tells himself a million times that “it’s her loss” after one rejection or a man who faces hundred rejections without hamstering to preserve his ego?

8. Suck it up and improve

Hey, at least he’s trying.

With many things in life, you just have to push through to make it. Today’s people make far too many excuses for inaction when it really comes down to the fact that they’re lazy or afraid. For example, if you feel insecure in social situations because you’re introverted, shy, or whatever, the only way you’ll overcome your anxiety is by putting yourself in social situations over and over again until you become better. And yes, you will make an ass out of yourself until you get better. Expecting other people to cater to your personality or dismissing them as being “stupid” is not going to help you at all. I highly suspect that many introverts today are much more withdrawn than they normally would’ve been due to the fact that they just rationalize their personality as being innate and fixed rather seeing as something that can be changed. The plethora of electronic mediums and other diversions are not helping them go out and socialize either.

And when you go out to make the effort, when you are exposing yourself to your insecurities, expect people to ridicule, criticize, and discourage you in every way imaginable. Acknowledge that they will be there, but know that they do not matter. You’re the one striving to become better and overcome your weaknesses, you are the only one that matters. Haters are only there because it’s easier for them to attack you for your flaws than it is for them to fix their own. Like Teddy Roosevelt said, it is not the critic that counts. Don’t ever let others bring you down.

Conclusion

I won’t sugar-coat things and say that everything will be fine with whatever shortcoming you may be facing. Insecurities can be a bitch and they’re capable of eating you from the inside out. Whether you feel insecure about your appearance, wealth, competence, social acceptance, or the fact that you’re an incel, things will not likely improve in a short time even when you try. You just have to keep going by focusing on your efforts while relishing the little victories. Don’t let yourself suffer with regrets in five, ten, or twenty years in the future because you failed to take action now. Do what you need to do.

Read More: 15 Ways Masculine Schools Can Turn Boys Into Men 

236 thoughts on “8 Ways To Turn Your Insecurities Around”

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  2. Great article. It`s worth noting that most of this insecurity shit is due to society being designed in a way to maximize insecurity. This either creates spectacular achievement or creates suicides.
    Men, you have everything you need to be happy inside of you. The ancients knew this. You don`t need the hottest girl or the best-looking car. I`ve seen Indian people living on the streets rolled in carpets who were some of the happiest people I`ve seen.

    1. Yeah, the smoking hot girl thing is the one that gets under my skin once a year or so. I look around and see a super hot sloot and think, I should drop the kind sweet feminine girl I have because I deserve something that hot.
      Bang a few really really hot women, realize they aren’t shit other than the few minutes you are actually engaged in intercourse with them, and get over it.
      And I agree, the happiest people I see around the world are the people who are close with their families, often poor, but enjoy the basic things in life, and don’t stress out or have mortgages and bills to pay.

      1. Yes, you and I both. You know, it really helps when the sweet girl you have is also the best piece of pussy you have ever smashed. Though tempting, but, ultimately like you said, these hot sluts get old after 20 minutes. For whatever reason, the feminine girl I have, who is a 7 at best, I can fuck for hours

        1. A guy once told me about a girl he had who was a psychopath. He said it was boring, because she was sucking his dick very poorly, cause she ‘didn’t feel it’!

        2. Hahahaha
          What am I supposed to do, you cant throw a hot dog down a hall way and expect to take the paint off the walls!!

        4. You were implying that I cannot appreciate hot sluts because I don’t have the proper equipment right?
          If so, it is a little joke we use here in the states when your cock is just a little to small to fill a girl up!

        5. Never mind I think I read into your comment wrong, sorry. You meant the bitch wasn’t experiencing heavy ” feels” towards the guy so she put in no effort, correct?

        6. That’s not at all what I was saying. The girl was a psychopath. She didn’t “feel it” because she was not able to tune into the situation emotionally. But now your statement makes sense, haha!

        9. Lol I control my cum, not sure you even know that is possible. My point was, these dumb broads who make you lose control I get bored with and cum on purpose.

        10. Haha I control my cum, not sure you are even aware that is possible. Sometimes I fuck and don’t even cum. The fact that you are so ignorant that you couldn’t even understand my comment makes me think you’ve never even asked a 9 her name lmao faggot

      2. I`m autistic and don`t feel like devoting my precious time to chasing women who`ll probably view me as an inferior. Time to go MGTOW.

        2. Hustle in the west, fuck bitches in the rest (of the world).
          Or
          Make money in the first, and fuck the third world.

        4. I can count cards, provided I practice hard enough.
          My Aspie interest is math in general as well as history. I have a great memory too.

        7. They haven’t sunk into the marsh yet or liquidated in bankruptcy? Have they at least stopped the windows from popping out?

        8. I hope not, I love that place. You hear about the former Revel Casino? Trying to turn it into a place to house refugees

        10. Considering how the city and state are just awash in extra money to pay for just such an operation, I can see why the politicians … pardon me a moment, I feel a bout of nausea coming on …

    2. Yup.
      Ironically, the INsecurities come from us wanting to have a lot of securities. Think about it. We weant ‘secure’ income, ‘secure’ relationships, a ‘secure’ (safe) life. And in the restless pursuit to achieve this, we actually grow a feeling of strong insecurity.

      1. Or, we resolve to make our desires come true and then achieve those desires.

        2. Yeah, but that’s on the leftists. They are almost by definition insecure, hate filled little mentally ill retards. They have no place in the modern world and evolution should have culled them from our ranks centuries ago. Alas, in advancing our own technologies we inadvertently brought along these Darwinian rejects and so….safe spaces, welfare, rape hysteria, PC, etc.

        5. In way that’s true. I suspect that for evolution to really kick in, us creative and working types need to get rid of our vestige sense of altruism towards the weak. Cruel, yes, but there is no good reason to keep dead weight like these idiots tied around our necks. Don’t harm them, just stop supporting them and let nature sort things out on its own.

        6. Evolution works in weird ways. It does not care about ‘good’ or ‘bad’. It just cares about: Can you survive?
          I mean, why else are parasites still around after millions of years? 🙂
          I think that that form of altruism can be a ‘good’ thing, provided it is not done out of your own weakness, feelings of shame or guilt or obligation or anything, but true compassion.

        11. I think it’s beyond Japan, it’s the ancient tradition of masculinity, more of a perenialist philosophy, you can find remenants of it in almost all cultures.

        12. No doubt, I just used Japan as an example. The perennial philosophy you speak of, is the tradition of hierarchy. Every great civilization has had three things at the top, God, a holy, religious or priestly class, and a warrior caste who also ruled as kings and barons. I.e. The spiritual authority and temporal power, Evola and Guenon so aptly describe.

        13. evola is the man ! I also like guenon’s work but evola is more warlike.
          personally I’m more into zazen.

        15. Nothing good come from that spring, I would warn against satisfying ambition while motivated by any of these forces to be a “bad” thing. Greed has been as bad for this country and our civilization as sissyness has been.

        17. On a random note, during my lunch hour, I decided to catch some sun and walk a few blocks. In the midst of my walk I saw a white kid, must have been twenty years of age, with a sign asking for 28 dollars to get a unlimited train pass for the week.
          Now typically I ignore those scenes. Not that I don’t care but more so, I have a low trust bar. What struck me was a father, white older gentleman who must have been in his fifties at oldest, was asking this kid if he had family or a home, or even a place to stay. He looked at me and shook his head in a deep, resonating way, that said this was all the ways a human was not meant to live.
          Something about it actually stuck today. Here’s what. At that kids age, I was probably every much a basket case. I wouldn’t have expected any sympathy though and been bull headed enough to try regardless of what results my own actions brought me. It is humbling to see others willing to help those in need all the same, even if it isn’t me doing the helping.

        18. “Yeah, but that’s on the leftists”. “Alas, in advancing our own technologies we inadvertently brought along these Darwinian rejects and so….safe spaces, welfare, rape hysteria, PC, etc.”
          The real irony of that statement, is that so much of our technological advances of the last 25 years, have been developed by these same Lefties. They have literally invented the technology that keeps them relevant. Unfortunately, as a result, they have controlled access and development of such technology and culture to the point that seem to be in control of everything.

        19. “Evolution through natural selection is a purely biological concept.”
          I think what he means is that evolution isn’t favoring these people. Technology is. Technology that they developed and control is what is keeping them relevant. Biologically speaking, these people are virtually unfuckable. Without the technological developments of the last 100 years, these people would have been biologically weeded out a long time ago.

        20. “I think that that form of altruism can be a ‘good’ thing, provided it is not done out of your own weakness, feelings of shame or guilt or obligation or anything, but true compassion.”
          I think this hits at the heart of the whole “rich people are greedy” trope that gets thrown around. People get seriously upset when they hear rich people not paying “their fare share of taxes”.
          Yet I think that rich people would be more generous and maybe even benevolent if they weren’t conditioned from birth to hide as much as they can from organized thieves with guns. I think a lot of the “resentment” that rich people feel toward poorer people stems from the coercive element of taxation. I think rich people (or all people actually) would be a lot more generous if there wasn’t a “comply or die” element to wealth distribution.

        21. Remember when helping the weak used to be considered noble? Nowadays, that shit can get ya killed or jailed. Now, I just walk on by cuz, fuck these people.

        23. I see what ya mean. I think he (and I) were just making a distinction between natural selection and the evolution that we seemed to be directing ourselves.

      2. Interesting point. Even brilliant.
        Perhaps the nominal state of man is one of insecurity. How many of us can really claim with a high level of confidence what our future will be. Hell, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring.
        Having money, fame, status, and women today is no predictor of what may transpire in the future. Look at how the might have fallen (e.g. Charlie Sheen, Bill Cosby). One day you’re on top, the next you’re a social outcast and target for lawsuits and late-night comedic monologues. We are all just one false allegation away from a life crises — the kind that dwarfs our insecurities about our psychical appearance or level of game.
        It’s WOMEN who seek security in the future. That’s why once they’ve matured past their cock carousel phase they’re looking for a beta provider to give them the future they want and think they deserve. Women struggle in dealing with even the most basic of life’s challenges like earning enough money to pay their own bills. That’s why they need men in their life to take care of them. That’s why women are generally insecure, and never become more secure and self-confident apart from locking down a confident capable man.
        Let’s redefine security to be the confidence a man has in HIMSELF that he can deal with all of life’s challenges and triumph in situations that would destroy weaker men. That’s the only security you can carry around with your 24×7. And it’s the kind of security that causes you to walk tall, be proud of yourself and deal with the shit tests of life without flinching in your own self worth.

        1. Another perspective may be to simply be open to anything that may come. To not be attached to ‘success’ or ‘strength’ or other ephemeral things like those. If you are not attached to ‘security’, you do not fear ‘insecurity’. Maybe the ‘insecurity’ we talk about is simply an insecurity that is, as you say, inherent to life, and to be embraced instead of feared.

        2. Correct. Unattachment and embracing that Aloness it brings is the key but, I also believe in unattachment to the phenomenal universe whilst being attached inside to higher values you have laboriously and carefully selected. Now, maybe and this I can see you agreeing on, complete unnattchment to both inner and outer phenomenon is the true path.
          Just a thought

        3. Yup, I’d say that complete unattachment is something of a holy grail. Although you may argue (and I have read) that when you completely lose attachment to the material world, you die. Not in a negative sense, but apparently this “destroys” your mind completely and you leave this realm of existence. Sounds fascinating.

        4. We are in complete agreement. I used to be into Indian religions and spirituality. That is the goal of all eastern mediations( if you can call it a goal) I.e. Self realization, enlightenment. I have read of both a complete and total desrtuction of the mind and subjective experience you and I call ourselves, whilst still living, and also in some cases the Yogi can leave the body completely. Very fascinating

        6. I honestly used to struggle with that question because, I truly believe that what we are saying here is the truth, essentially it is God. By now though, I have accepted that part of me wants it,part does not, and for now the part that does not, wins. Time will tell.
          As side note I belive all traditional civilizations knew this truth and organized all life materially and spiritually toward this goal and 1000 years ago, you and I, would experience this as such.

        7. Well, maybe God does indeed want to keep experiencing the human existence. Maybe the point is NOT to simply revert back to nothingness. I mean, what for?

        10. I highly suggest that, if you are to only read one book for the rest of your life, please, make it the Bhagavad Gita.

        12. I have the Gita translated by ( graham m. Schweig ) Schweigs an expert in sanskrit . My interest of the Gita came about by reading robert greens 33 strategies of war. greens book had a short passage from the Gita about “when dark inertia increases obscurity and inactivity negligence and delusion , arise ” that passage peaked my interest in the Gita , I believe it’s chapter 14 . Anyway yeh great book agree ! Don’t know the full meaning of the this passage about ” dark inertia ” but it definitely stands out to me .

    3. Buying new things doesn’t give you security that’s only the perception of the masses. Actually it gives you something to be afraid of. It makes you more and more fragile. I first experienced this when I bought an Omega Seamaster watch and it was the only thing that I cared about (‘Oh my god, what happens, if someone robs me??’) while I never cared about my watch or security when I wore a cheap Citizen watch.
      Same with cars. I’m glad I drive a Smart. If I would drive a Ferrari I would probably sleep in the garage. This is the real feeling of insecurity.
      If you want to creat Antifragility you have to own less.
      Turn your books into pdf/txt-summaries and store them locally on your harddrive and on the cloud. Do the same with your painting (take photos of them) and with your music. Make yourself location independent. Only buy stuff you really need. Only buy a new notebook or smartphone if your device is broken.
      That’s how you achieve antifragility.

      1. Or, you feel secure owning the finer things because you understand their worth by the amount of work you put into acquiring them. I drove a Corvette for no small amount of time, never felt insecure or like I needed to sleep in my garage. In fact, I had a splendid time in it.
        Nice things + “Let’s have fun while we are still young enough” attitude = good times had by all.

        1. Replace the word things with experiences for me.
          If you write down things it’s a list.
          If you write down experiences it’s a novel.
          I go with the novel and give you the list.

        2. The two are not mutually exclusive.
          Have you ever sped down winding deserted country roads in a Corvette at 90mph? I love it. Savored the flavor of a fine, hand wrapped cigar and sipping 18 year old Scotch while discussing philosophy with a friend? An experience not to miss.
          Experience. Nice things. Both work just fine together.

        3. That is how I view “attachments” as well. If you fear loosing something then that is a symptom of unhealthy attachment. Simple as that. If you rolled that thing, it’s pretty much fuck it, light a stogie off the burning wreckage and hope that a hottie picks you up on the walk back in am I wrong ?

        4. Exactly. You get it. We don’t have to be aesthetes. Consumerism and it’s foibles are for the masses with no self control. If you have discipline and a good sense of self, you can enjoy the finer things and still garner good experiences.

  3. Great article… You know RoK is at it’s very best when it focuses on Male Self-Improvement…
    The PUA pieces are great (and indeed a part of MS-I), the political ones range from fun to weird to WTF?!!, but RoK really comes into it’s own with stuff like this!
    Feminazis and SJW look at RoK and see Rape Apology(™), but the stuff that keeps your base coming back is this stuff.
    Long may it continue…

    1. I really hope so! because of the look on his face and where his eyes are pointing!
      That man is going to die! die broken! but die sooooooooo happy!

        3. I will check it out. His roasts are always great, but the best one, hands down, was the Hugh Heffner roast. If you can ever get Gilbert’s routine from that one watch it. It was November 4 2001 and gilbert came out and laid down a 9-11 joke. He got so fucking booed people yelling too soon and shit. Instead of backing down he launched right into a 20+ minute rendition of the famous Aristocrats joke. The audience was laughing so hard they were visibly crying. One celebrity, can’t remember who, fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard and gilbert threatened to start over (this like over 15 minutes into the joke). It might be the greatest half hour of stand up comedy ever

        4. a man walks into a bar and joan rivers is the bartender. He sees a sign that says Cheese Sandwiches $1.50 Handjobs $10.00 He says “are you the one who gives the handjobs?” Joan replied “yes” He says “well then wash your hands bitch I want a cheese sandwich”
          Fucking classic.

        5. Bill Burr shitting all over a hostile Philly audience is up there too, but that is only about 10 minutes

        6. “the terrorists will never bother you fucking people because your fucking worthless and no one cares about you”

        9. Is that the one where they start out booing him but end up cheering him every time he slams them? Or am I thinking of another comedian/routine?

        10. wait let me find a better one. That video takes out the 9-11 joke and has bad video.

        11. yeah. It was about 50/50. You could tell they were trying not to laugh. Philly is, hands down, the shittiest city in the world and he fucking nailed them dead to rights. Terrific.

        12. I loathe Philadelphia. My dad was stationed there as a recruiter very briefly after he got back from Vietnam. They used to do that with pilots and such. It was an absolute horror story. I remember half the sky being on fire (this was 1974 I think) due to a refinery going up in smoke. It looked like Mordor, red skies at night and flames flying in the air near the horizon. I was also mugged there in 2nd grade, and also chased by a psycho adult with a knife during the same year. My dad put in for an immediate transfer after I was mugged, but we didn’t get moving orders until after the psycho.
          And those are my memories of Philadelphia. Hate that place.

        13. I remember half the sky being on fire (this was 1974 I think) due to a refinery going up in smoke.
          When I left Philadelphia in 2002, that fire was almost under control.
          It looked like Mordor, red skies at night and flames flying in the air near the horizon.
          This is fairly typical of Philadelphia, refinery fire or not.

        19. I’d say “Are you serious” but I fear you might actually be, you know, serious. That place is a toilet.

        21. even the “good” parts of philly are garbage.
          That is why will smith took a cab all the way to bel air to live with uncle phil.
          Also, why the hell did he take a cab? Was he that afraid of flying? I mean, a cab from Philadelphia to southern California would be very expensive and impractical.

        22. You know George Carlin has a never-released routine he recorded on 9-10 that’s coming out this month?

        24. Yeah, he shelved it because it was full of him talking about how he loves destruction and death and entropy, should be great.

        27. Yikes. I went to Philly almost 10 years ago to visit an old platoon dog. He picked me up from the airport and he showed me the “sights.” I noticed the .357 magnum within reach and didn’t ask anything…the surroundings was all you needed to know.

        28. And then someone like pudgy Schubert gets a guy kicked out for screaming show us your tits…lame. Stand up comedians have the biggest city balls on the planet and fear absolutely no shame ever. They will get into it with anyone anywhere, zero fucks. Love Gilbert.

      1. I have dated several women taller than me (and I am 6 foot). One of them asked if I was ok with it. I said “ok? hun, don’t think you being taller than me gets you off the hook….you better have heels on”

        2. depends on what she looks like. I mean, if she was hot but large…sure why not. I have dated runway girls who have been over 6 foot but nothing so tall as 6’5

        4. I fucked a girl who was about as tall as me and she said ‘I don’t mind it. It’s hard to find much taller men anyway’. I am also 6 foot.

      2. Yeah, but with heels she is probably an inch or two above 6 ft tall. That dude looks about 5 ft tall.

    3. Wondered the same thing. Is she Gigantor tall, or is he a near dwarf, or both?

  5. “Haters are only there because it’s easier for them to attack you for your flaws than it is for them to fix their own.”
    Exactly. It is a psychological defense to maintain their ego and self-worth. Also, when you succeed and overcome your situation and move on, they will be left with a glaring fact they cannot ignore– you’re a better man than they. Others will notice that as well.

      1. I tend to think this is incorrect. There is always some level of matter. It may be less if you don’t depend on them, but it is still there. Here is a for instance. I walk into a bar that I like on 77th street and Madison avenue. I walk with good posture, I am well dressed and confident when I walk in the room. The other people in the bar, people I do not know, take instant note because I have presented myself as a person who is to be taken seriously.
        Now I order a drink. I get a nice islay scotch or a martini and I turn around to take a sip and the mix of how I have presented myself and how strangers have reacted to me has given a young lady the tingles. She immediately engages and I wind up taking her home.
        Now in no way is any one thing responsible for this. My being dressed well, ordering well, being groomed well and general smv are important, being in the right place also important. But the fact that a room full of strangers instantly react to my demeanor with respect is also important. Their opinions matter and this plays itself out not just with women but in business as well.
        If I walked into the same place, slouching, in jeans and a t shirt and ordered a beer that woman would have looked at me. I create a world around me which I am the center of. I want to make sure that everyone acknowledges my divinity.

        1. “I want to make sure that everyone acknowledges my divinity.”
          Do you cure the sick and heal the afflicted between bangs?

        3. I ran my favorite line last night on three women who were seated right next to me at the bar of this restaurant. They asked where I was from, I said, “I was born in a manger, long ago. My birth was attended by three wise men…” God I love that one. Works every time.

        4. a lot of hate for modern times on this website but we really live in a great age

        7. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”
          Whatever ails modern society aside, we still live in one of the few societies in one of the few eras where you can succeed or fail based on your own merits, if you’re inclined.

        10. I am Connor MacCleod, of the Clan MacCleod, and I was born in the year 1513 on the shores of Loch Shiel, and I am immortal. I kinna die.
          It works too because Millenial chicks have no idea that history existed before they were born, so it’s all “new” to them. Recycling movie lines from the 1980’s and prior just seems like uber wit to them, and not like you were cribbing from Humphrey Bogart.

        11. Sweet. “I am Dr. Dick. And you look sick. And a couple of injections might do the trick…” I have to be really wasted to use that one.

        12. Aye. The “we’re consuming so therefor we’re unhappy” meme always strikes me as silly. We’re surrounded by plenty in every direction. Relax, enjoy it, have fun, stop fretting about “consumerism” which is nothing more than people you don’t know buying stuff that they like. Who fucking cares about that anyway? So what?
          Life is too short to confine oneself to a cave, wearing only a loincloth and a necklace made of shells as one curses “the world!”.

        15. See, if you have sex with the girl you depend of her.
          If you actually WANT the attention or sex from the people/women, then you do depend on them because you want them. I said what I said in regards to caring about what random people you don’t care think about you.
          In your scenario, YOU DO CARE, therefore YOU DEPEND ON THEM.
          If you don’t care about social validation from random people you (truly) don’t care about (and won’t ever see again ever if you don’t care about them), they don’t matter to you, and therefore their opinions do not (should not) matter to you.
          You’re completely wrong.

        16. I disagree. I can’t possibly care about or rely on people I don’t know. I rely on and care about myself. As for being wrong, no. That is ever the case

        17. In your scenario, if you go home and have sex with a girl, you don’t know the girl you have sex with, but you still rely on her for sex. You can’t fuck youself. That still means you depend on her, which means her opinion does matter. You’re still wrong.
          If you depend on them they matter. If you don’t depend on them, they don’t matter.

        18. Well then I have to say that I depend on the entire world, every single person, people I will never meet, people in countries I will never travel to. I depend on every nameless busboy who cleans up my leavings and every 12 year old stiching shirts in China.
          I suppose you can define the idea of what it means to depend on someone as you like and if we define it that way than i can’t argue that I depend on all people

        21. I didn’t say anything about this being a wrong or right thing either. I was sincerely asking. I can’t be the only person who feels this way but didn’t know that everyone else didn’t because they have never asked and mind their own right ? What happens if you face tall odds ? ita liberating, a kind of unattachment if you will.

        22. When you are young you are worried about what people think of you. When you are middle aged you don’t care what people think of you. When you are old you realize that nobody ever thought about you at all.

        29. Dude, grow the fuck up. Find a brain and a dick and learn how to use them

        30. Me: “What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”
          Her: eyeroll
          ME: “Come here often?”
          Her: Eyeroll part 2 with a side of annoyance
          Me: “What’s your Zodiac Sign?”
          Her: “Good God, How many of these cheezy pick up lines do you have?”
          Me: “A million of them…have a drink with me I’ll list them all to your amusement.”
          I like to troll bitches with that. It actually worked once. I have noticed that the less I try, the easier it seems to be.

      2. “The opinions of people you don’t depend on don’t matter.” That is why I laugh with extra arrogance when people say they are “offended”. Especially if they are offended by something I say. I always ask, “If you supposedly hate me and don’t care what I think, then why does what I think and say elicit such an emotional response from you?”

    2. “Also, when you succeed and overcome your situation and move on, they will be left with a glaring fact they cannot ignore– you’re a better man than they. Others will notice that as well.”
      Yes….and thanks to the low-grade Communism we’ve been fed during our formative years, it has lead to the crab-bucket mentality that our society runs on. If you start to do good, there will be twelve assholes ready to drag you back down. It is like healthy jealousy (how can I succeed like that guy?) has been replaced with destructive envy (He has too much in my opinion, we should take it away)>

        1. That is famous actor Edward G Robinson who was normally cast in gangster movies playing the Hebrew Overseer in the 10 commandments sounding like a Brooklyn gangster

        3. I think the story is that he was black listed but when Demille did Ten Commandments he tried to give work to everyone who couldn’t get it so he wound up with the absurd casting of a Brooklyn accent gangster as a Hebrew overseer.
          His voice is the one that bugs bunnys mobster “coytins fer you” is based on

        4. they should show those old films as saturday matinees, or at least make them available on youtube.

        7. “You dirty rat!” oh wait…i think that was Cagney…or was it Robinson? I forget which 30s gangster said it.

        8. Cagney was you dirty rat, but same arch type and similar voice. and it made no fucking sense at all in the 10 commandments. so perfect.

  7. “Knowing what you can change and accepting what you can’t”.
    Progressives, and Bruce Jenner in particular, tend to get confused about which is which

        1. Well, let’s follow the etymology of the word unicorn. One + horn. You should have one horn. I think you are well in the game. Maybe that’s why there are so few female unicorns? …

        2. That’s a bit cryptic. Actually I thought unicorns were female. Didn’t realise there was anything phallic about it, but I suppose here probably is

  8. 9. Realize your perceptions can be flawed.
    Your reasons for feeling insecure might be based on a misunderstanding of a situation, and you don’t always have complete information or context.
    Therefore, always be cool.

  9. I’d love to turn my insecurities around, but I’m worried what will happen if I do.
    Heh.
    This is a great article for newcomers to the movement who are trying to escape their beta trappings. Well done.

      1. I know. That’s why I wrote my last paragraph. There are times when I tend to gloss over the “part of this site is for newcomers to the movement” thing. I’m attempting to correct that.

  10. 9. Institute positive coping strategies.
    There are lots of guys in the sphere with good ideas on positive mindset and how to cope with your insecurities internally. Cernovich is one, of course, but there are several others.
    And Science! has shown that adopting positive feedback strategies can even affect brain chemistry, helping you break out of the negative rut of obsessing over your insecurities. I think I read an article about that on Heartiste.

    1. Not sure if that’s what you mean, but I am not a fan of the ‘positive thinking’ movement. I feel like it’s running away from the ‘darker’ aspects of the self.

      1. Well, depends on what ‘positive thinking’ really means.
        For example I find it really helpful to write a daily list about things that you own and that make you greatful. Your eyesight. Water and food. Stuff like that. Many more people shoud practice this.
        It would stop them from complaining about the amount of sauce on the Whopper at Burger King…god, how I hate those ungrateful fatfucks who don’t have any other problems.

        1. That’s exactly the kind of thing I find silly. It’s like … I don’t know, distracting yourself from other, as said, ‘darker’, aspects of your life by telling yourself what is ‘good’ about it, instead of stopping to categorize into ‘good’ and ‘bad’.

        2. I don’t see ‘Meh, not enough sauce on my burger’ as a dark aspect of life.
          And besides that there are no dark aspects in a first world life as long as you are healthy.

  11. This article reminds me of the interview on “fear and consumption” with Marilyn Manson. “Keep everyone afraid and they will consume.”

    I’m tuned out from most commercialism and most fears and insecurities people have. But a friend mentioned the other day how balding is the #1 fear men have, and for the past week I’ve been self conscious of my hair. I’m not balding or even beginning to, but I’ve been staring at my head looking for signs of thinning spots. We really need to reject this stuff and just be happy. Improve the things you can, and don’t worry about those you can’t.

    1. Whenever I get anxiety I think about the fact I’m going to die…and then I realize there’s no time for anxiety. Death is a great adviser…

      1. The stoics say: the situation after death is the same as it was before being born. Nothing to fear for.

        4. It started with my latin teacher at school who was a) the headmaster and b) a huge proponent of Seneca so I had to translate texts from the stoics for three years…I am still thankful that he guided me in this direction.
          I can’t recommend the Enchiridion, the Meditations and De providentia by Seneca highly enough. These books are my personal bible. That’s the reason I printed a book for myself that contains all the greatest quotes of the stoics. Maybe next year I will translate it into english and share it with you guys.

    2. I have a moderate but noticeable amount of receding temple hair. I wasn’t even aware of it most of my life. I actually kinda like how it looks. But I am not afraid of losing my hair. I already shaved it all off a few times and didn’t feel overly self-conscious about it.

        1. I think it looks good, but maybe I am biased. We used to have this photograph of my grandfather (died in my early babyhood) in our kitchen, where he looked bad-ass confident, photographer from the side, with gray hair at the temples and also receding temple hair. I always thought it looked great.

      1. Whaa? You don’t like his music? Wtf is wrong with you. You are so anti-mainstream. Oh wait, he was anti-mainstream. So that makes you what….

    4. ‘balding is the #1 fear men have’
      yeah, even my father is crying about his hair loss even though he is 65 and lost his hair four decades ago. What a bluepilled douche.
      I am 23 and I notice a tiny bit of hair loss. It’s not as dense and thick as it was before. But I am actually eager to shave it all off. That will be a nice new experience. Especially because dozens of studies found out that bald men are seen as the most dominant while men with receding hairlines are seen as the least dominant. So it’s only your attitude that matters: Are bold enough to go bald? Or are you a pussy who tries to hide it?

      1. Start to get the combover cut, shave it off, grow a mustache or goatee, apply hardass sunglasses, you’re automatically +4 on the HB to women.

    5. Spot on about the balding thing, and hair in general.
      I went gray quite early, but I thought that’s ok, I just colored the bastard.. although it turned gray, it was still thick and no sign whatsoever of balding. Then my facial hair started turning gray.. now unless I wanted to go clean shaven all the time, I was in a bind. So I just let the hair color grow out and I went “gray fox”. Looked great.
      Now, I’ve noticed my hair has gotten horribly thin. It happened almost over the course of months. Not a cool receding hairline mind you, the whole fucking top of my head has thinned out, like Salman Rushdie. It’s too thin to even grow out and comb back into a hippie pony tail. I’ve gone from having more hair than guys 10 years younger, to less hair than guys 10 years older.
      Seriously, fuck life. But at least I’m in the same boat as these guys:
      – Salman Rushie (again)
      – Chairman Mao
      – Gabriel Gate
      – The City Wok guy

        2. Beats protesting something cool like dudes. I’d lay off that though personally. Maybe start off with a one on one fight and work your way up lol.

    6. Take it from a guy that lost all his hair–I mean all– in a lava pit, chicks are all over that shit, esp when coupled with a black uniform and prosthetics.

  12. I’m short as well. If you have insecurities, you can often times add a security that destroys it.
    For example, if you are short, take weightlifting seriously. Being muscular to the level that people don’t have to ask if you lift, they know, will do wonders for a short insecurity.
    The same can be said about any insecurity.
    Like Ying and Yang.
    Find the balance, then grow that piece. Eventually it will overshadow your weakness.

  13. Being overly critical of others to a point where you spend more time putting others down instead of focusing on yourself.
    Trying to control others because you have no control over your own anxieties.
    Needlessly lashing out in anger.
    =================
    If I had a nickel for every male I’ve encountered who displayed the above three characteristics, I’d have a lot of nickels…

  15. So you are saying that the defining characteristic of a sociopath is to have no insecurities? You make this big jump through the hoops to make it sound like sociopaths are ‘bad’, and they have no insecurities, hence YOU are ‘good’, because you do have them, ‘to keep you in check’? That’s some poor reasoning. In a way, you are glorifying being an obedient sheep in that paragraph.

    1. This is exactly correct. The defining character of sociopathy is lack of empathy. If someone wants to draw the conclusions sociopath = bad then the next logical step is empathy = good and I am not so sure about that.
      The image of the deranged sociopath is really the triad of Psychopath, sociopath and narcissism occurring in the same person. Without being a psychopath, even a narcissistic sociopath won’t necessarily be a “bad person” Hell, I would wager that most top surgeons are narcissistic sociopaths.
      having sociopathy appear in a person who is also a psychopath and a narcissist is when we get the full movie version of the killer. I think you are right, the hoops were jumped through here to justify some kind of benefit to having insecurities which is something we see when people don’t want to admit that they have flaws and take steps to remedy them.

        1. It is believed that there is approximately 50 serial killers operating in the US at any given time. So about 0.00001388888% of people are potentially serial killers.

        2. agree. That is why it is when several of these rare disorders are found in a single person that you get what is thought of in pop culture as a psycho killer (Qu’est-ce que c’est. Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa )

    1. There have been comments and articles on ROK about this phenomenon gees it’s a strong effect. Women have little sense of tribe, having evolved to sleep with whoever is conquering at the time. I think this theory about the superiority of patriarchy has more weight to it than one might initially think. Anyway the further WW2 recedes into the past the less society needs to oppress men for screwing it up. I walked through a Problembezirk today which is getting worse every month and was well reassured, despite that not too bad speech from SPD Gabriel that only one party on that list above can steer things back in the correct direction..

  24. #9.. For every thing you’re insecure about yourself, find someone who is worse off with respect to that thing, and rip on them mercilessly about it.
    But jokes aside, great article. One of the reasons I keep coming back to this site is it doesn’t shy away from honest personal introspection. Probably the best message is that insecurity, like stress and fear and pain, is not bad in itself. It’s a red flag to warn you something in your life needs improving or attending to.. it may not be the thing you’re insecure about, but it’s something.
    It’s bad enough that in our pill-popping society, insecurity (like it’s bitch sister, anxiety) has become pathologized and treated by covering over with drugs. But one of my concerns is that insecurity will become “normalized”, and even a badge of honor, just like we’re seeing with PTSD, Aspie syndrome, gender identity dysfunction and every other mental illness.

  25. Among other things, I loved the graphic under #3 — simple, compelling and perfect metaphor. Solid piece, all around…

  26. Good read. I let my insecurities get the best of me a few days ago. Ended up taking a gram of Diphenhydramine and had an allergic reaction to it. Was in the hospital for 3 days, not fun lol.

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