Do Men Fear Commitment?

Or do they just fear American women? A frequent diatribe of American women is that supposedly “men are afraid of commitment.” Like most other feminist criticism to which we have been subject, this bit of prejudice displays not only a lack of understanding of men but also an avoidance of the truth. Anyone with normal powers of perception can see that men have been consistently stalwart in making commitments to lifelong, sometimes life-threatening ventures. Despite long odds against the highest levels of success, men make commitments to law, medicine, arts, professional sports, and military, among other things.

Although a gratifying career and respectable income are expected outcomes, the commitment to four or more years of post-graduate education leaves men with the law or medical degree but also with school loans the size of a home mortgage and more time ahead as overworked interns. The feminist who goes to the hospital must be able to simply ignore the commitment of the doctor who treats her—unless, of course, the doctor is a woman.

Many men make commitments to the arts with virtually no promise of fame or fortune. The many young men who make a commitment to sports have a better chance of ending up with the lifelong effects of physical trauma than with National Football League contracts.

My own commitments to writing and the sport of weightlifting have produced trophies, books, bylines, and aching joints, but very little in the bank. During World War II, my father fought with the United States Marine Corps in the south Pacific islands of Saipan, Tinian, and Okinawa. After serving his first tour of duty, he volunteered for a second. Fortunately, he came home alive, having been wounded twice. Evidently the feminists forgot the men who made the commitment to fight in that war and others to preserve the very freedom they use so cavalierly to condemn us. “But,” the feminists say, “we’re talking about commitment to a family, not that other unimportant stuff.”

My grandfather married my grandmother when he was eighteen years old. He remained in that committed, loving relationship until he died at the age of seventy-five. Needless to say, my grandmother was no feminist. She, in fact, held feminists in low regard. But, let’s move the calendar up. The United States 2000 census reported: “The number of single-father households rose 62 percent in 10 years” Does any of that sound like commitment to a family? In the same article, “Thomas Coleman, executive director of the American Association for Single People, attributed the rise in single dads to several reasons, including . . . more women choosing their jobs over family life.” Who seems to have been showing the commitment in recent years?

Men Are Making Commitments, Just Not With You

I know of several men who are committed to their marriages. They have all been married more than ten years, and they all have several children (by the same wife) whom they love and support in the home. Significantly, these men all have foreign wives from Canada, Costa Rica, and Colombia. Two of these couples live in the United States; the others live in South America. They are all happy; I have never heard any of the men say a word of complaint about their wives (by contrast, in recent years, I haven’t met a man married to a United States feminist who hasn’t complained about his wife). In fact, I can see for myself that those foreign wives are sweet, loving, and loyal to their husbands and also that they are just as beautiful after having four children as they were in their wedding pictures.

Perhaps we have arrived at the crux of the problem. “Men are afraid of making commitments,” American women claim. I have twice seen American men visiting Colombia make lifelong commitments of marriage to Latin women they had known for only two weeks. But Colombian women have a reputation for honesty, stability, fidelity, sex appeal, sex drive and for treating their husbands well. A man evaluating a commitment can look at an experienced doctor, lawyer, professional athlete or married man, balance the pros and cons honestly and make a decision.

That same man can look at Thai, Colombian, Peruvian, Filipina, Mexican or Canadian women who have been married for ten or so years (and/or talk with their husbands), and he can see how they treat their husbands and how they take care of themselves; then he can confidently make a decision about a commitment to the young foreign woman he loves. That’s how people make commitments: they weigh the potential rewards or moral necessity of the venture against the pros and cons of attempting it. Then they commit, or they don’t.

Committing To American Women Is A Mistake

A man in the United States has a problem with this strategy. The slim, long-haired, affectionate woman whom the man loves and who is screwing his brains out and promising him a lifetime of marital happiness doesn’t look or act at all like the married women around him. The married men around him aren’t happy. None of them are doing what they want and a lot of them are broke. They’re not getting laid at home. Their wives are fat. The divorce rate suggests a coin toss as a valid measure of success in a marriage to a United States woman.

The divorced men he knows have had everything they worked for (and committed themselves to) taken from them by their ex-wives, many of whom are “ex-wives” because of feminist oppression or cheating with other men. And, most unsettling, his instincts detect a level of selfish hostility beneath the veneer of kindness affected by his girlfriend, who additionally seems to have a lot of men around who are “just friends.”

Men are not afraid of making commitments—they are afraid of making a commitment to the wrong woman.

Read More: Single Women Want Your Money

58 thoughts on “Do Men Fear Commitment?”

  1. I don’t see the upside of marrying young. I myself haven’t been able to have a relationship that lasted more than 8 months and you mentioned a few of the reasons why in this article!
    I have many friends that are 21 and already married just because it was the right thing to do after a few years of a relationship. I don’t really understand that logic. Especially with a woman who instead of pleasing and making his husband happy, only nags him
    Such is life.

    1. Women should marry young. Men, probably not.
      As technology and commercial culture have gotten more complex and specialized, the age required to demonstrate a reasonable aptitude for it, has increased. making at hard for younger men to realistically be particularly impressive “heads of households.” At the same time, corner cases like Hugh Hefner notwithstanding, medical advances have ensured it is these days almost always the woman’s age who determines the couple’s procreative viability.
      OTOH, Nothing has really changed age wise wrt women’s reproductive role. They are still, on average, ideally impregnated at 16, first kid at 17, one more every 18-24 months thereafter until 40. The fact that she now carries an iPhone does not in any way negate the fact that her first kid will statistically be healthiest if born to her while she is still young.
      Woman at 15-20, marrying a man at 30-35, strikes me as pretty much ideal as of today, if the goal is (as it will always be in a specie shaped by competitive evolution) the highest probability of the greatest possible genetic impact on the future. Back in less complicated and higher male mortality days, men marrying younger made sense, but not so much anymore.

  2. I agree with everything you wrote except for listing Canada as an option to find a spouse.
    Canada is basically America north. Not much difference is cultures.
    Being a 30yr old male who has his life sorted out. I constantly get asked when i’m going to settle down.
    I have greater motivations in my life than to give half my life earnings to a female who is getting fatter by the day…
    No thank you Sir, no thank you.

    1. I agree with everything you wrote except for listing Canada as an option to find a spouse.
      Canada is basically America north. Not much difference is cultures.

      Maybe he was thinking of French Canadian women.

      1. “Maybe he was thinking of French Canadian women.”
        This myth really needs to die already. There is no province in Canada more feminist than Quebec.

      2. This myth really needs to die already. There is no province in Canada more feminist than Quebec.
        That’s a disappointment. Another ex-Catholic leftoid hole, like Ass-a-chew-shits.

    2. Agree. Canadian women? That’s laughable. They are just as bad as American women. There is no difference. All their cultural learnings come from American women. The other poster is correct. The myth needs to die about Quebec and their women. That province is about as liberal and feminist as they come.

      1. Well… I only have a good sense of the girls in Alberta, and they’re really not that bad. Lots of blondes too. Although, Alberta is also Canada’s most conservative province, yet it doesn’t have the obesity problem the U.S. South does.
        If you want to Bang Canada, try Alberta.
        It’s still a shame about Quebec. A common joke about Quebec versus France is that Quebec has cuter women and colder beer, and I’ve heard that Quebec provided pole-dancers for the rest of Canada for many years. (And I did an about-face on my opinion of French women after a single layover at the Paris airport. They are really very charming.)

  3. There are a few American women left who believe in being feminine (staying fit, dolling up, sweet demeanor) but disagree with modern day feminists. We may be low in number but we are here (albeit discouraged).

      1. A lot of the women in the South are chubsters or will become chubsters soon after you marry them…and I would argue they aren’t really all that different from other women in other parts of the country other than being a little bit less feminist, so I would say even in the South women tend to suck.
        Save you money to travel overseas. Trust me, you won’t ever want to date an Americunt ever again.

      1. To prove we are not all unattractive I will! But I fear your criticism, Roosh. Haha my boyfriend reads you regularly. I am familiar with your sharp words on female appearance! Is there a private place to send them?

      2. lol doesn’t that fail the “feminine” test right there?
        Agreeing to send pictures of yourself over the internet to a man you don’t know to validate a random person’s challenge that you are, in fact, an attractive woman…

      3. Email to [email protected]. I will report back here your rating on a scale of 1-10 without posting the pics.
        And please don’t send pics with magic angle shots. I’m immune to this trickery.

  4. <Men Are Making Commitments, Just Not With You
    Nice said. Nice article. …And hats-off to your dad. He survived not only Okinawa, but 57 years of marriage.

  5. As they say, men aren’t afraid of marriage, they’re afraid of divorce.
    With good reason.

    1. my uncle used to say if you wanna know if you should marry her flip a coin. and then if you wanna know if the coin flip was right, flip it again.

    2. If you knew what little sex awaits you in matrimony bliss, you’d be afraid of the marriage part too.

      1. thats why u pick a girl with lil to no experiance..since theyd be eager to screw
        slutty women would be exhausted by the cock carosel an see marrage as a retirement from the the guy will be frustrated an start cheatin(americans dont get it)
        my mom explained this to me(not in this context) lol

  6. … Colombian women have a reputation for honesty, stability, fidelity …
    Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
    I love me the colombianas, but that’s the first time I’ve ever heard their reputation described that way.
    Beautiful? Sexy? Passionate? Carinosa? Sure.
    Honesty? Fidelity? Eh … to a point.
    Stability? Ah … even by latina standards …

    1. That was in my thoughts too. Sexy, cariñosa, passionate for sure you can bet your farm.
      Loyal, committed…Maybe only in the middle class, just maybe, and feminism is advancing really fast in that country, just not the bitter variety. Take it from me, I was there just a few months ago.

  7. A dumb woman wouldn’t see her own faults as the reason for her partners reluctance for marriage, so she drops the commitment issue shit.

    1. BINGO! Most women have no idea what their faults are, other than physical. Everyone is always blowing sunshine up their ass and giving them a free pass on rotten behavior, so they think they are just perfectly awesome to be around! The problem couldn’t POSSIBLY be with her, it’s GOTTA be the guy’s fault, even if 100 guys have the exact same reaction!
      Women just can’t think right.

  8. American women are shit…absolute shit.
    Guys dumb enough to marry an Americunt deserve what happens to them. Save your money and go overseas to meet women. American women are dogs. I am not even sure they qualify as cum dumpsters anymore.

  9. My former gf said this all the time. She was clingy, obsessive-compulsive, controlling, gave me zero space, was incredibly boring in bed, wasn’t even *that* pretty, constantly praised herself and condemned anything and everything else, was utterly incapable of keeping a clean house or getting basic chores done, despite being home all day while I worked, had a penchant for emotional tantrums and outbursts, and spent virtually all of my considerable salary on things like organic food -which is fine, except that she constantly touted her own “frugality” and yet seemed incapable of ever actually cooking a meal. I mentioned these things to her and she brushed them off as minor issues which would surely resolve themselves after marriage, and then wondered why I always avoided that subject. She concluded that I was “immature” and wondered why men are so “scared of commitment.” Her army of white knight friends and beta orbiters also never hesitated to tell me how “cruel” I was for being reluctant to marry such a prize.
    Fortunately, this story does have a happy ending. I found and swallowed the red pill, told her white knights to mind their own business and that they didn’t know the half of it, shipped her back to her family in New Jersey, and am now fucking a hot Ukrainian exchange student.

    1. Congratulations, you seem to be doing quite well for yourself.
      I always take great delight in flat out telling girlfriends they are not “wife material” and that a ring won’t magically turn her into a wife. Always fun.

  10. game is the great equalizer.
    i am NOT a good looking dude. and i’m short as fuck. doen’t make any difference since i know game. it’s all confidence and attutude.
    good post as usual.

  11. i knew this broad that used to say shit like this. “all me want is sex, men are dogs, men arent gentlemen anymore, men are scared of commitment…”
    i asked her one day “if you go to the store to get milk, and theres a gallon on the shelf, and the seal is broken, and theres been drinks taken out of it, and it expires day after tomorrow, but the clerk wants full price, would you buy it?” she said no of course and i didnt elaborate. two seconds after she said no she realized she just agreed with me and got upset. some shit about treating women like comodities? i dont know.
    oh and my personal favorite “men are like children and need a woman to get their lives in order”. i always just laugh at that one aloud with no explanation.

    1. Excellent analogy.
      Apparently, her milkshake used to bring the boys to the yard but a bunch of guys have been drinking it from the carton and now it’s expired and no longer has the same pull.

    1. Spot on Elmer.
      The joke works on a second level too. Cat’s are shitty pets that throw off an I don’t need my owner vibe and chickens get their necks wrung before being eaten.

  12. Men commit to things which are worthwhile. Women simply aren’t. Do I “commit” to a cup of coffee? I might enjoy one when my schedule permits and one is readily available, but I don’t really go out of my way for it. The same with women, I’ll enjoy one if she looks good, I have time, and it’s going to be fun, but I’m not going to really go out of my way to make it happen with anyone in particular, since in the overall scheme of things, they are interchangeable.
    So why WOULD I commit? Women have made themselves into a cheap commodity – and they are being treated as such. It is that simple. Of course they don’t like the fact that they are a cheap commodity – but they are the only ones who can change it, and I haven’t seen any signs of that happening. If anything, they are becoming cheaper and more available. Heck, I’ve picked up women who are on a date with a guy – you really can’t get much “cheaper” than that…

  13. Colombians faithful
    top trolling
    Good at sex/feminine/good cooks yes
    Latinas will cheat more than any other race (including rich white ones)
    I have no idea why this is, my theory is its to do with Catholicism plus the schizophrenic sexual mores that developed in Lat Am far from Iberia after the men fucked all the natives and African women while extolling Christianity and social propriety but I really have no idea

    1. Oh please, more Cath bashing. If you want to find schizophrenics, the Anglosphere and Scandinavia are the example of everything that can go wrong with sexual mores…
      By the way enjoy your Americunts…

    2. As someone who was cheated on by a Colombian… MAN… I second this. Machismo is (clearly) not dead.

  14. I’m committed to myself. That’s why I go to the gym, take time for meditation, eat good food, take my vitamins and minerals, and stay in a positive attitude. I do all the best things I can do for me.
    If a woman can prove the same thing…she is worth the same commitment. In return I’ll also do the best things I can do for her.

  15. The reason why men are weary to commit to modern women are as follows:
    1. Loss of freedom
    2. Fear of divorce and sexist marital property allocations
    3. Fear of wife getting fat or “letting herself go” after marriage
    4. Fear that sex will stop
    5. Fear of constant nagging and agitation
    If America and modern women want commitment then they will need to fix all of these things to get men to commit.

    1. Things are stacked against men in other areas: we are discriminated against even in exam marking at school for instance due to teacher bias, presumed to be “the bad guy” from the get go.
      Young guys, really only children, kind of see it stacked up against themselves and retreat, man-strike.

  16. Very well put, and absolutely spot on!
    I have to advise my almost 18 year old son NOT to marry an American woman and not to get serious about one because of the current situation. My biggest challenge is that I was COMMITTED to his mother for over 30 years, and the has only seen that as his template to follow. However, she personifies most of the problems with American women and I now have to dispel the myths and show the errors of my own ways without turning his own mother into an object of derision, lest he end up resenting me for “attacking” his mother. It’s a trap I must carefully step around.
    Yes, men can and do commit to many things for much longer and with more loyalty and honesty than most western women ever commit to in their own marriages. Thanks for helping me to see things from this fresh perspective.

    1. Minimal amounts…I’m from Calgary .
      most are feminist harpies.
      prostitutes really
      Men from Canada need to look elsewhere and expand our horizons like roosh does.
      if i never leave this rock ill be jaded towards women forever!

  17. I’ve been seeing so many brilliant articles like this one lately. the more I look around me, the more I realize it is all true. I already decided long ago I’ll never marry an american woman. the truth is, what they’re peddling is not all that great. all I can think is, I can keep fucking them without making any commitment, and aside from the fuck they have nothing of value to offer, so…what’s in it for me? most of them can’t even cook a decent meal the next morning, let alone have a charming feminine personality that I’d want to grow old with. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am today, and succeeded where most people fail…it cracks me up to think that there are so many women who feel entitled to the fruits of my labor, simply because they have a vagina. like there aren’t millions of other vaginas out there that are just as good or better than the one they have.
    they always think they’re so special. but after awhile, they just seem like obnoxious, immature, self-centered little brats who never grew up…packaged attractively (sometimes) in a shapely mass of tissues, complete with a warm, moist hole, they serve as a vessel for your physical gratification, but not much else. they are shallow, weak, vain, and extremely hypergamous; their sense of self-worth and entitlement is astounding, for how little they offer. they have little in the way of skills or intelligence; they get these useless little fluff degrees and think they are geniuses, and that their graduate degree in art or english is equivalent to a graduate degree in pharmacy, medicine, or engineering. they are social retards, but they think they are a celebrity, because of their smart phones, facebook page and dating profiles…all of which afford them many times the access women once had to rely on charming, attractive, feminine personalities to obtain.
    all they can give you is a good fuck. and that’s okay, I’ll gladly give an american woman my dick, let her try to impress me with what she learned from redtube and practicing on probably dozens of other guys before me. there’s absolutely nothing special about it, and it’s pretty much the only thing she can do that I will enjoy. that’s why chasing them became a game; because they are not worth devoting your life to, and if you try they will just rape you in divorce court anyway. success with women in this country today just means you get your dick wet regularly, and you are still in control of your own life. failure means you don’t get laid, or you’ve become a slave to one aging vagina, praying that it doesn’t get fat, close up, cheat on you, divorce you, and take away what you spent your life building. I just wonder when they will get smart, figure this shit out for themselves. I’m not holding my breath…

    1. You said it all, my friend. Your comment is worthy of its own article, like this brilliant one. I sure wish I would have figured this stuff out a few years back, but better late than never.

  18. Great, insightful comments, except for one thing that has me disappointed and worried: the news about Canadian women. Some of you know that I moved permanently from the United States to Mexico four years ago. Before I left, I had a friend who was married to a nice Canadian lady. I also had a creative writing student who, after divorcing a USA feminist, left the country for England because he thought the situation for men was better there. After spending the last couple of weeks researching MRA sites, I see that not only have Canada and the UK gone bad but also Australia. I have also seen a few indications of feminism here in Mexico–not much, but the seeds are sprouting. Conditions for men seem to be worsening, the contagion spreading.

  19. Commitment? Another empty slogan used by feminist gang.
    All relationships , marriages and romances are illusions. People beg others for love. When they just do not love themselves…. thats the problem!!!
    See what this guys says about it, very wise –
    Beggars begging other beggars.

  20. Also, to kasparov– I can guarantee you, as an intelligent American (not even particularly feminist) woman who can cook like nobody’s business: I have no desire to take part in the “fruits of your labor.”

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