Uncategorized

8 Ways The Manosphere Changed My Views

97 Comments

I was introduced to the manosphere 12 months ago. It was an incredibly enlightening discovery, fundamentally shifting my viewpoints and taking the blinders off in a number of key areas. In tribute to the manosphere, here are the 8 biggest ways it has affected my views:

1. The Supreme Importance Of Being Alpha

Prior to the manosphere, I had extensive success in attracting and ‘picking up’ women. However, after just experiencing a bad breakup (where for the first time in my life a girlfriend dumped me), I realized I didn’t have enough understanding or experience of maintaining attraction in the longer term. Heartiste’s 16 Commandments was the first manosphere post I was introduced to. It significantly improved my confidence to be alpha and the way I interact with women. This isn’t about being ‘someone I’m not’, as some whiny so-called ‘nice guys’ attest. It’s simply allowing the more dominant side of my personality to show. We are multi-faceted people, and I was prepared to use that side more, whereas a lot of guys suppress it, thinking it must be a bad thing. Girls have been more attracted to me with less effort on my part as a result of not suppressing this.

The next most important post I read was Heartiste’s explanation of What Women Want. I still consider these the two most important posts in the manosphere, and the two which have shaped my view on the importance of being alpha the most. I also realized how important this continues to be in marriage thanks to the likes of Dalrock’s Untethered. Inside A Woman’s Mind provides the best female perspective  on this that I’ve read.

2. Age And Sexual Market Value

Prior to encountering the manosphere, I simply didn’t have an understanding of the true relationship between age and sexual market value for both men and women. Rollo Tomassi’s Sexual Market Value post opened my eyes to how this actually works. The desperation of older single women started to make sense, thanks to the likes of Dr Meg Jay explaining fertility and Lori Gottleib giving her life story. The first hand experience of the Audacious Amateur Blogger and Athol Kay’s post on relative sex rank also opened my eyes. The biggest problem with this is that I’m noticing the effects of women ageing far more. It has also meant that I’ve decided I would never start a serious relationship with a girl older than 23-24, as per Victor Pride’s recommendation.

3. Game Evolving To The Next Level

After having studied the likes of David DeAngelo and later training with top PUAs around the world, I found that the ways guys were interacting with girls was again scaling dizzying heights. Krauser’s escapades, Roosh’s stories and Steve’s videos indicate how this has gone to a new level.

4. Understanding The Dynamics Of A Breakup

I was a wreck after my relationship dissolved. Rollo Tomassi’s post on committing suicide over a woman provided incredible levels of insight into exactly how badly breakups can affect men. This breaks open a taboo topic that I’ve never read anywhere else. I think the fact that the manosphere has done this is inspiring. While not directly in the manosphere, I was also inspired to read great books about the neurological processes of relationships, which helped further my understanding.

5. Exactly Why I Was So Put Off By Girls Sleeping Around

Since I was a teenager, I had always been extremely put-off by girlfriends who admitted to me the extent of their sexual escapades. The University of Man’s post on A Man With Options helped explain exactly why the number of men a woman has been with impacts on a relationship. Heartiste’s analysis of why girls who sleep around make bad wives provided data and statistical analysis of why this is so important in terms of marriage. A range of insights from manosphere commentators also elucidated the concept further, although they are sometimes too harsh. I’m not saying men or women are any less as people by how many sexual partners they’ve chosen to sleep with. But both sides have to realize that it does impact their future relationships.

6. The Devastating Effects of Pornography

I had been strongly opposed to porn for a number of years. However, rather than just seeing it as morally wrong and sapping the male sex drive, I began to understand how detrimental it is in other ways. The brilliant website Your Brain On Porn provided a plethora of insights in regards to this. Widespread stories of erectile dysfunction, brought to my attention by the now defunct Gmac and Bold and Determined should also be enough to scare the hell out of any man. The Brain That Changes Itself was also a genius book that provided superb levels of insight into how the brain rewires to try and handle porn.

7. Why Marriage Is So Important And Why Substitutes Don’t Work

This goes against some manosphere rationalizing. However, all evidence shows that marriage is the single best way to raise children. Dalrock also highlights the plethora of benefits gained from marriage. In this period of time I learned about the detrimental Cohabitation Effect and Dalrock provided huge insights into why mini relationships do not stack up to marriage.

8. Understanding How Women Think

I more fully understood why women act the way they do. Rollo explained the psychology behind why women shit test, which has been well supported by Glenn P. Heartiste, explained what the automatic reaction should be. I came to understand why flaking on girls is so incredibly effective in making girls chase you, and why it should be done more often. Danny provided great insights and M3 also cleverly analysed why men being nice is a crime for women.

In summary, it’s been a hell of a year in understanding men, women and their dynamics better. Keep growing and evolving men!

Read Next: An Amazing Manosphere Blog You’ve Never Seen

97 thoughts on “8 Ways The Manosphere Changed My Views”

  1. If the advice of half-baked egomaniacs and blowhards like Heartiste changed your mindset from a pussy to a man then imagine the impact that true masters like pimpfeet, manhood101 and w. anton will have on your life if you ever expose yourself to their online awesomeness. Heartiste has always rubbed me the wrong way, his advice just makes men more neurotic, nervous and too-cool-for-school douches around women. He’s more concerned about massaging his ego via online adulation from the peanut gallery than providing life-changing wisdom like the true masters do.

    1. I’ve read the free pamphlet manhood 101 gives out a few years ago… it was such gibberish, poor writing, run on sentences, bad grammar, and bad organization that I couldn’t make it in past 20 pages.
      If those sites were any good, we’d be commenting over there now wouldn’t we?

      1. manhood101’s free online book is 400 pages of solid content now. It’s hardly a pamphlet. I don’t agree with your vague criticism of the “poor” content either. I’ve read it cover to cover a few times and go back to reference it on a regular basis. The content is organized by section and chapter like a textbook and has its own table of contents. Does Heartiste’s blog of hipster advice have such clarity of thought and organization? I doubt it.
        “We’d be commenting over there now wouldn’t we” but only if we actually bothered to read a masterpiece instead of cynically scanning over it with our Heartiste-brainwashed minds rejecting it because of ego.

      2. Your unfounded criticisms of “Principles That Govern Social Interaction” are without merit and serve only to distract from your true objection: the free PDF posits that a man’s function is to provide order, and that a man must exercise his authority to fulfill the real needs of everyone under his protection. The reason you have a problem with that is because you don’t want responsibility; you would rather write untruthful articles about how one may game the student loan system, and you don’t care if your readers go to jail or have their wages garnished as a result of following your bad (illegal) advice. You don’t agree with social order because you endorse sites like ZeroHedge that hope to destroy the economic system in the hope that everything will work itself out. It doesn’t work like that. Things don’t just sort themselves; it takes men to sort things. The PDF teaches males how to become men so that they can sort themselves and the people/events around them. It’s time to grow up and take responsibility.
        And your argument that “if those sites were any good, we’d be commenting over there” is a fallacy. Just because you get a comment here does not give merit to any particular posted article. Negative comments articulate the fact that an article is either in error or even useless. Not all publicity is good publicity, unless you buy into hamster “logic.”

      3. Your unfounded criticisms of “Principles That Govern Social Interaction” are without merit and serve only to distract from your true objection: the free PDF posits that a man’s function is to provide order, and that a man must exercise his authority to fulfill the real needs of everyone under his protection. The reason you have a problem with that is because you don’t want responsibility; you would rather write untruthful articles about how one may game the student loan system, and you don’t care if your readers go to jail or have their wages garnished as a result of following your bad (illegal) advice. You don’t agree with social order because you endorse sites like ZeroHedge that hope to destroy the economic system in the hope that everything will work itself out. It doesn’t work like that. Things don’t just sort themselves; it takes men to sort things. The PDF teaches males how to become men so that they can sort themselves and the people/events around them. It’s time to grow up and take responsibility.
        And your argument that “if those sites were any good, we’d be commenting over there” is a fallacy. Just because you get a comment here does not give merit to any particular posted article. Negative comments articulate the fact that an article is either in error or even useless. Not all publicity is good publicity, unless you buy into hamster “logic.”

      4. I will say that the Manhood 101 book was very valuable to me. Their concept of the use of authority to lead towards order, and the use of reward and punishment to maintain authority is key. Here’s why: everybody always talks about how important it is to maintain control of the frame in a relationship, but I rarely see anything on how to do it, They just say “You’ve got to maintain the frame!!” The way to maintain frame is to maintain authority as described in MH101.
        Also, MH101 makes the point that authority is not an end to itself. It must lead towards order, meaning you have to provide leadership that delivers successful results. If you do this, you can bring your woman into submission, and have a properly ordered relationship where she loves you, respects you, and is wet for you and anxious to please. I have used this approach, and it works.
        This stuff is in the last section of the book, and I will say they do spend a long time working up to it. Still, I’m surprised this material doesn’t have higher profile in the manosphere.

      5. I will say that the Manhood 101 book was very valuable to me. Their concept of the use of authority to lead towards order, and the use of reward and punishment to maintain authority is key. Here’s why: everybody always talks about how important it is to maintain control of the frame in a relationship, but I rarely see anything on how to do it, They just say “You’ve got to maintain the frame!!” The way to maintain frame is to maintain authority as described in MH101.
        Also, MH101 makes the point that authority is not an end to itself. It must lead towards order, meaning you have to provide leadership that delivers successful results. If you do this, you can bring your woman into submission, and have a properly ordered relationship where she loves you, respects you, and is wet for you and anxious to please. I have used this approach, and it works.
        This stuff is in the last section of the book, and I will say they do spend a long time working up to it. Still, I’m surprised this material doesn’t have higher profile in the manosphere.

      6. awww poor angry little girl, did you get rejected by manhood academy like the scared little pussy you are? why didn’t you challenge them to a live debate you scared little pussy?

    2. In my experience Heartiste haters are either liberals, celibacy advocates, idiots jealous of Roissy’s ability to type coherent sentences, or just plain trolls. Which are you?

      1. It’s obvious you prefer Heartiste’s flair for the dramatic and bloated literary style versus practical, straight-to-the-point and life-changing advice via the masters. In other words, you prefer flash over substance. I’d much rather benefit from useful advice written in plain English over self-congratulatory verboseness of a blowhard like Heartiste. Calling me a celibate troll because I’m not in Rotisserie Chicken (Roissy aka Heartiste) cult is classy of you. /sarcasm

      2. It’s obvious you prefer Heartiste’s flair for the dramatic and bloated literary style versus practical, straight-to-the-point and life-changing advice via the masters. In other words, you prefer flash over substance. I’d much rather benefit from useful advice written in plain English over self-congratulatory verboseness of a blowhard like Heartiste. Calling me a celibate troll because I’m not in Rotisserie Chicken (Roissy aka Heartiste) cult is classy of you. /sarcasm

        1. That’s an awesome graphic you made to go with your feminist shaming. I bet they’d love this over at Jezebel. You should make some more!!

        1. The book is great (or at least the version I read and referred to here http://tinyurl.com/cyghvv3 ) but the relentless butt-hurtness and frame control every time you click a backlink of someone who slightly disagrees with you is painfully gamma. Just accept the book is out there and people will form their own opinions of it.

    6. Doesn’t matter. Anyone who’s against feminist bullshit is OK by me.

    1. Thanks Booya!! Glad you got a lot out of it.
      And noting the severe lack of fathers in many homes, maybe it can be mandated to be read by all 12 year old boys on their birthdays?

    2. yeah every 3rd grade should know how to be a pig , a scared little women hating boy that plays pocket pool and shoots women because you can’t get a date

  4. Allow me to translate:
    When a man or a woman states:
    “I shouldn’t have to change who I am”, or “I shouldn’t have to be something I’m not”,
    What they are really saying is:
    “I do not think I have the ability to become that, so therefore I should not have to do that”.
    It is a statement of self-doubt masquerading as a moral statement.

      1. Very good point Mark. Women can change for men, but don’t want to unless they’re severely attracted. ‘Nice guys’ believe they are incapable of change which will impact on their abilities with women.

        1. you are a moron , a juvenile delinquent moron with the brains of a 12 year old with bad acne . That where so m any AWM come from

  9. The second ROK post to feature the world biggest closet case as the header picture?
    Everyone please stand for the ROK anthem. One, two, three, all together now:
    “We’re superrrrrr, thanks for asking…”

    1. And, once again —
      Clooney has dated and dumped a lot of publicity-seeking attention-whores. If he were gay and not having sex with those women, they’d be running a 4.4 40-yard dash to the National Enquirer, TMZ, and every tabloid to expose it. Especially with some of the brutal ways he’s dumped some of the hot model/actresses just after they hit their late 20s.

      1. So, they’re ‘publicity seeking attention whores’, and there is no way they can mutually benefit from being linked with him? No gain in publicity, no increase in job offers?

      1. You write a post on the how the manosphere has opened your eyes, changed your life, and then run back to tabloids for an accurate representation of who is boning who? Seriously?
        Im not gonna comment on this again, but I’ll go with my sources instead. If the manosphere taught ME anything, it taught me exactly how ridiculously out of step mainstream media is on just about everything. Everything has an angle. Everything sells. Everything is packaged.
        I have a fairly good story on a v. popular UK celebrity getting drilled by an equally popular musician, and the STI fun that followed. It wasn’t on a mainstream media site – I know it because my mate works in that industry, and was there when it happened (he boned her mate, funnily enough). How do I know HE was telling the truth? That’s my business, but the smarter amongst you can probably guess.
        Im not accepting any ‘celebrity gossip’ at face value, and neither should you. The fact you did it during an article praising the manosphere and its insights is… well… a bit gay tbh. You undermine your entire article attempting to feed me that shite.
        Carry on reading Celebitchy though. Write us an article on how it ‘shifted your paradigms’.
        (I should say, buttpirate photos aside, I did enjoy your article. Kudos)

        1. LoL dude are you actually trying to deny Clooney was in a relationship with any of these women? I don’t get your point.

  12. I wish that I had the manosphere when I went through my shit with a bitch that did not love me anymore back in 2000.

  13. One thing that the manosphere, circa 2010-2013 has brought to the forefront is valuing chastity (a low number, or virginity) in women. For a long time this was taboo both in mainstream culture and in the PUA community. Among PUAs the idea was to appreciate sluts for their sexual availability and not to have a “madonna/whore complex”. But nagging away inside a lot of men was the idea that women with promiscuous pasts are spoiled fruit, in terms of seeking them as long term partners and wives. I’m much more comfortable with my innate feelings about this now. And thanks to living in Asia, I know that there will still be non-promiscuous women to settle down with, should I ever choose to do so.

    2. yeah can’t handle real women so go Asain like Redd Foxx , you little boys are so pathetic

  14. Two steps to stop feminism dead in it’s tracks.
    1. Do not marry or co-habit with an American/western woman
    2. Do not have children with an American/western woman
    When the above author says marriage is good for having children, I sure as hell hope that he is talking about foreign women.

      1. LOL. Let them go find a third worlder, especially a muslim one. Let’s see how long he puts up with her feminist bullshit before he beats her to a pulp.
        Western women are NOT compatible with foreign men. Western woman-foreign man marriages have an 80 percent divorce rate.

  15. This post and all the articles linked to would be a great jumping in point for any blue pill AFC. Not happy with your life? Read this and all the links, and things will start to become clear.

    1. Thanks Alpha, glad you found it useful. All of these articles have certainly benefited me!!

  16. George, thanks for linking to my pick up videos. I’m going to make a whole bunch more real soon by the way.

  17. Great post to introduce somebody to red pill knowledge. I just emailed my two younger brothers the link to this article. Here is the text of my email that might help inspire a similar message you could write to a brother or friend. I wish I would have recieved something like this earlier in life.
    Hi Seth,
    This may
    be a little out of the blue, but I wanted to share an article with you
    that I think will be a great help to you over the next few years. I am
    CC’ing Ryan on this email because, even though he probably has a lot of
    this already figured out, there are still several nuggets that he could
    benefit from as well.
    The article links to about 40 other articles that discuss
    principles in more detail; although I don’t expect you to read through
    all of them, I would encourage you to review any that are of interest to
    you.
    This article is a great jumping off point to understanding the
    social dynamics between men and women– the type that very few
    understand because 1) it may not be considered politically correct 2)
    society actively indoctrinates young men against the truth.
    Anyhow, I don’t mean to be too long-winded here, but I want
    you to read over this a few times over the next couple of weeks so you
    can understand some of the things I wish I knew at your age, namely:
    a)
    Showering a girl with love and affection can often cause her to lose
    attraction to you, whereas being aloof, (somewhat) selfish, and only
    occasionally doling out attention will trigger attraction in a girl.
    b) Your sexual market value will continue to rise and peak around age
    40 (or even older) as long as you take care of your body and focus on
    building a successful career– thus, getting married at a young age is
    unwise for men because their female mate is likely to swiftly decline in
    sexual market value around the age of 30. Even Mormons teach that it is
    important for husbands and wives to be “equally yoked,” right?
    c) A massive portion of girls are irrational, flakey, or outright
    whores. Tread carefully and don’t be afraid to “pump and dump” if a
    chick gives it up shortly after meeting her. She is not a prospect for a
    long term relationship if she does. Women who sleep around in their
    youth are exponentially more likely to commit infidelities later in
    life.
    d) Nice guys finish last. That doesn’t mean that bad guys finish
    first (although the bad boys always attract more girls), but a lot of
    things that young men do that they think are “nice” are actually
    repulsive to women (and other men) and frankly makes them look like
    pathetic pushovers. Virtues that every man should strive for are
    emotional independence, confidence in oneself, and boldness with a small
    measure of narcissism. A woman will latch on to a man that looks out
    for himself, whereas she will question his value if he is overly
    attentive to her.
    e) Marriage as an institution is much more beneficial to
    women than it is men. Once you enter into marriage with our current
    laws, your wife has the power to take away your children, over half of
    your money, as well as a large portion of your future earnings at any
    given time. Our courts do not provide such power to men in marriage. If
    you do ever decide marriage is right for you (I’m still on the fence,
    myself), wait until later in life. Find one of the rare, quality women
    you deem worth the massive risk and liability you will be taking on in
    marriage.
    I hope this is helpful to you because I love you
    and I want you to enjoy all the success you can in your life. You have
    been blessed with good genetics and a supportive family, but I think a
    lot of the things we learned from our parents (and our Mormon
    upbringing) are not effective because they are based on ideals instead
    of the way the world really works. If you have any questions, never
    hesitate to call or email.
    Here is a link to the article: http://www.returnofkings.com/8514/8-ways-the-manosphere-changed-my-views
    With love,
    Eric

  18. Didn’t change my views much. Reading feminist websites, however, changed me from fairly liberal to all-out native nationalist mode.

  19. fantastic post. it’s incredible how beneficial reading this article and the associated links can be for young men.

    1. Cheers Greater! Yes all the links here have had a big impact on me and it’s great to be able to correlate these in one place for everyone in the Manosphere, thanks to Roosh/Samseau and ROK.

  20. The manosphere has been essential for my development as a man. Topics that were critical, but never brought up during my short 25 year life for whatever fucked up reason I want my parents to suffer for, are now brought into the limelight and provide solace for males in a culture that is neglectful of male development.

    1. You’re here now, make the most of it. You will have rapid growth and transformation because of it, at this critical growing phase as a man. Don’t harbor resentment towards your parents, just grow and grow now.

  22. Super manosphere primer, with some great links. I have sent this link to a blue pill friend, with the sincere hope it will change his life. Good work.

    2. Me too. seems they are too far ‘Blue” at this point in their lives. Don’t know if it’s possible for some guys to eventually ‘get it’. For me, I’ve had to take the Red pill daily for 2 years to keep me true.

  23. MARRIAGE IS BAD!!! it is now the worst way to raise children because a wife can divorce you and steal custody of the child.So I disagree with point number 8.

    1. That’s just dumb. What’s the alternative? She leave you and take the kids anyway? Marriage is a commitment between people, an integral part of which is raising kids. No other form of relationship is as successful.

      1. You are aware the feminism killed it off right? And you are aware that feminism makes women so self entitled that women choose to slut around until their 40’s, and are then trying to get married.

        1. Feminism hasn’t killed marriage off. Most people still get married. Separation rates, while high, are lower than for any other form of human relationship between a man and woman. Dalrock has a lot of great stuff on marriage worth reading, and how to make sure it’s not debased: dalrock.wordpress.com
          As for female age and marriage, yes I’m very aware:
          http://3rdmilleniummen.wordpress.com/2012/11/26/dont-wait-too-long-to-have-kids/
          http://3rdmilleniummen.wordpress.com/2012/08/20/manosphere-female-age-and-sexual-market-value/
          http://3rdmilleniummen.wordpress.com/2013/01/16/female-age-and-sexual-market-value-part-2/

        2. Feminism has just made marriage really bad for men. Not saying it is killed off. Living in the western world, I would never get married and raise a child. I would prefer adopting my own child.

  24. Thank you for writing something that is pro man without being anti woman. Whilst I do not understand the need for many of the manipulations that seem to be so much a part of young peoples sex lives (me being real old and feminist etc!) I can see that it is still difficult for men and women to negotiate honestly and freely, and they can then fall into man or woman bashing. You haven’t done this here.
    I don’t agree with a lot of what you say, but it is interesting to see this POV.

  25. Porn truly is devastating. It turned me into a scrawny, dull, mediocre doofus with no accomplishments and nothing to look forward to. I managed to improve myself after I quit masturbating eight years ago at age 30. I gained 20 lbs of muscle, my brainfog lifted, and I grew a backbone.

  26. I have found that the biggest problem facing men, is that they place a relationship with a women at the center of their universe. All social stimulus: movies, news, Face Book, TV, places having a girlfriend or a spouse as a sign of being complete, thus acquiring this is again the ONLY goal. If you are get a better job, it will get you more money so you can get a better wife”, not that it is better for the man, that does not seem to be the goal. This article does not seem to distract from that idea.

  27. Seeing George Clooney in the movie “Gravity”, exemplified what is wrong with America these days: No accountability. I went to that movie and the audience and I were less than impressed judging by their responses, yet the media made the movie out to be the next Gone With The Wind, because it exemplifies the current American social ideal. The movie was all about the women scientist, who over comes all odds to move past the loss of her child and become complete. George Clooney on the other hand, has no inherent value as a person, his value ONLY arises from how he can help Sandra Bullock reach her goal. IN our society men have no inherent value, they gain value from how well they can provide for their “families”. And as good jobs dry up and more and more jobs are service jobs, jobs women are more apt to be hired for, the value of men diminishes, because as I said our society places male value on being the bread winner. Anything that contributes to this mentality I am not in agreement with.

  28. Porn is a response to a social dynamic. If you don’t like porn change the social dynamic. Female roles in society are changing fast. Change comes quickly when there are no negative consequences to the ones making the changes. I support porn as a means of self gratification. NO person should have such control over another.

  30. When it comes to lifestyle this site is great, but goodlookingloser seems like a much better blog when it comes to woman advice

  31. Excellent Post. Excellent Read. The articles you linked to were all great.
    Making improvements every hour of every day.

  32. Am Cannon shelly from Usa, i am sharing about my experience and testimony online in search of a spell caster that will restore my marriage and make me live a happy life. I was introduced to a spell caster by my neighbor and i contact him. to my greatest surprise i never though that there was going to be a real spell caster for me but i was amazed when i met a real one in the person of His Majesty,HIGH PRIEST OZIGIDIDON who helped in in bring back my man and making me have a happy marriage and home and also help in restoring back my job and life and sincerely it is to numerous for me to mention, i just can’t thank him more that enough for all he has done but i want to sincerely thank him for restoring my hope that there are still real spell casters out there. Indeed he is so real and true to his job. i am glad i met him and i will hold him in high esteem till i leave this earth. Your HIGHNESS i will never let you go you are my foundation.High priest can be gotten on [email protected]. i know when you contact him and he worked for you, you will definitely come back to thank me. high priest is so great and powerful.. i have lost the adjective to classify him.Thanks

  33. 7. Why Marriage Is So Important And Why Substitutes Don’t Work
    -sigh, I would but I have this thing about not enjoying getting screwed over. I don’t have much faith in marriage anymore.

  34. Too bad some links are broken. The university of man was shut down like a year ago and the krauser link is also broken

Comments are closed.