Happy Birthday, America

I looked at my watch and it was midnight.  July 4th had officially come.  I had just arrived at a bowling alley with two girls, one of which I had seen previously and her best friend.  Let’s call her Kat.  It was Kat’s 22nd birthday and she invited me to join her and her friend (21) to celebrate.  Normally I wouldn’t do so because friends of girls you want to date usually become cockblocks, but on this July 4th… I didn’t mind.

Kat and I had met the previous Friday at a high end bar in town.  I caught her looking at me while she was seated, so I waved.  She waved back and a few minutes later I went over and introduced myself.  We started talking and hit it off pretty quickly.  Two hours later of chatting and playful bantering, I invited her to join me for a drink at my home.  She refused and asked if we can exchange numbers and Facebook information instead.  The next day, I became her 14th friend on Facebook.  We texted back and forth and saw each other a few times before going bowling for her birthday.  Normally, numbers mean shit to me and I’d laugh at a Facebook request, but on this Friday prior to July 4th… I didn’t mind.

She was a terrible bowler but her friend was great.  They ordered food and a bottle of vodka and all of us proceed to get drunk and happy.  We returned to my apartment where my friend had just come back himself from a date with another girl, a girl he had had sex with after the fifth date.  Kat came into my room and stayed the night, and while we messed around she said it was still too early to have sex.  This was our third date.  Normally both my buddy and I would cut girls off after the third date without sex, but on this July 4th… we didn’t mind.

The morning came and Kat and her friend got up and asked us if we were hungry.  We said yes, so they proceeded to raid our fridge, take out what they saw was appropriate and cook us a fantastic breakfast.  We ate, the girls did not.  After we finished eating, they washed all the dishes.  We all laid around on the couch for a bit, then had some pizzas delivered for lunch and drank some beers.  After all, it was July 4th so we tried to be as patriotic as possible — which meant pizza and beers.  My friend and I had three slices each, the girls had one slice each.  And again, they did all the dishes after we ate.  Later we went for a walk in the nearby park. Me and my buddy were in shorts and a t-shirt while the girls were in heels and dresses.  Normally we’d dread having some girls attach themselves to us during the day, but this July 4th… we didn’t mind.

We bid them adieu shortly after since we were going out to dinner with our regular girls.  We went home, showered, cleaned up the apartment and met them for dinner.  Mine was 19 years old and showed up in a white dress with white heels.  His was 22 and showed up in a black dress with red heels.  We ordered food, they did not.  As mine stated, it was past 6pm and she does not like to eat after that time.  After we finished eating, we paid our tab and headed back to spend the night in the apartment.  As we were walking out, a young gentlemen at the table next to us waved us down.  “Nice to hear a familiar voice, happy 4th of July to you guys”  he said.  We retorted the same to him. With a big smile on his face he knew that on America’s birthday the next thing he was about to say was already understood by us—“Enjoy this country.”

I replied with an equally telling smile and exclamation of patriotism:  “I know… Ukraine is a great place.”

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54 thoughts on “Happy Birthday, America”

  1. I should have known something was up when you ordered a bottle of vodka at the bowling alley. well played.

    1. I just assumed he was at Lucky Strike in Hollywood, where a ‘call’ vodka & tonic will run you $12 — and you can buy a bottle of Ketel One for $750.
      On a side note, while she only had 14 Facebook friends, I’m wondering how many friends she had on the Russian/European social network VK… (Roosh mentioned that previously.)
      And, yes, this is an inspiring post. I can only imagine how hot the 19 and 22 year old girls were.

      1. Don’t let your imagination run away from you. Those Ukraine girls are only “hot” when compared to Dirtwater or Podunk USA not where I live. There’s a real caste system in the US.

  2. Nice one, enjoyed the plot twist. I knew something was up when you wrote the girls did your dishes and cooked for you, they couldn’t have been American. Way too nice

    1. Yeah because Brazilians, Canadians, and Colombians call themselves “American”.
      Banned for such a moronic comment.

      1. As far as nationality the shortened America means USA. A Columbian would not say they were American if asked their nationality.

    2. You’re wrong. The USA is the United States of AMERICA and is the only country that has America in the name so when you say America for short everyone knows you mean the USA.

      1. Yep. Mexico is actually called the Estados Unidos de Mexico (United States of Mexico) but no one calls it that.

  3. Excellent. This should be printed in mainstream media. No one will get it, that’s the best part.

    1. Based on Law Dogger’s description of the ladies, how they dressed and how they looked, and the way the arrangements came about, that’s how the 4th of July USED to be in the States back say 40 years ago, except the booze would be beer not vodka. Goes to show ya Gentlemen if you want to experience that kind of fun 4th of July celebration, you gotta go to another country. How ironic.

      1. 40 years ago, women wouldn’t leave the bar with you to go fuck your brains out. I’d rather fuck than court. Keep your nostalgic glory days.

        1. Oh they fucked alright. The difference is that back then they were more discreet and had a lot more class than the STD riddled, butt hole tattooed psychopaths of today.

  4. Ha well played. Knew they couldn’t have been American. Particularly at that age, that generation of Americans.

    1. The 14th Facebook friend was the big tipoff that he wasn’t talking about an American woman.

  5. I’m seeing more and more that in order for a man to find the “American” Dream; he has to move out of America.

    1. Check out Helen Smith’s recent book Men on Strike. Lots of men are doing just that: Going Galt. I hope to be one of them.

  6. It’s funny to see how the younger generation of women are becoming “traditional” again. I think they smell the scent of the antifeminist backlash that is already beginning. I just wish the baby boomer women would hurry up and die off. It was their generation that created this mess and even now they refuse to admit their wrong and give up their bogus ideology. Fuck off and die, you dinosaur bitches.

    1. oh shit, i typed that comment before reading hte last line. so you were in the ukraine. either way, i do notice that a lot of younger american women are far less hostile and anti-male than the fucking baby boomer generation, the older women. I guess younger men don’t tolerate the level of shit that their faggot mangina baby boomer fathers tolerated. women simply respond to whatever men tolerate or dont tolerate. if women are out of control, it’s the men’s fault for not disciplining them properly. Fucking baby boomers.

      1. I noticed that too, here in in Denmark. <21 are friendly, above they are still thrash, Maybe it’s a sign..let’s see, it’s too early to pop the champagne.

      2. “If the women are out of control, it’s the men’s fault for not disciplining them property.”
        Absolutely…I’ve always believed that Western men are even more worthy of blame for feminism than the women, by enabling, simping, kissing ass, and failing to stand up for themselves.
        John: You had mentioned in an earlier comment on some other article about the Hindu scriptures’ views on women (Vedas, Bhaghavad Gita, etc). I don’t know anything about the Vedic scriptures. What passages talk about women? I’d like to hear more about this, as it is a religious tradition that is almost unknown in the West.

        1. These were the Indo European Aryans of ancient India. They spoke Sanskrit which is related to Latin.As the dark people from the south began to outbreed them and infiltrate their culture they developed the caste system which is really a race system. Caste is from the Latin word Castus and means pure in regards to race. The different divisions would be like in the US you would say mulatto (1/2) quadroon (1/4) octoroon (1/8) and so on. Of course over time it became very mixed and what you see today and what the US will look like in a couple of generations amongst the masses with only the Brahmins and upper classes remaining pure.

        2. As for blaming men, are you talking about fathers, mentors, and teachers in an Allan Bloom/Diana West sort of way? I could buy that, but if you’re talking about the young men dating, fucking, and marrying the women, then I’m not sure that they could have done much aside from rejecting the women outright- Euripides’ Hippolytus is informative on this score.

        3. I 100% blame men for fat women. If we collectively refused to date/marry them and stoned-to-death any guy who dates/fucks one then fatties wouldn’t exist within a couple of decades.
          Same goes for feminists. Boycott them and they’ll forget their ideals. Baby craving>ideologies.

        4. Feminism is so pervasive that it seems like you’re advocating celibacy until the right woman comes along or until women collectively get the message. Unless you have a hankering for martyrdom, I wouldn’t recommend that. I tried it for five years- while I took pleasure in rejecting women and making them feel inferior, my hatred and resentment built to a tipping point and transformed my understanding of happiness into some pathetic, rationalized contentment. There’s a lot of talk about getting out of America here on ROK, that seems like the best solution. In the meantime, we may as well use women for pleasure, not because we hate them, but because we want to fuck them regardless of their beliefs.

        5. No celibacy for me. I know this is hard to believe but guess what, not EVERY SINGLE WOMAN IS A FEMINIST. And within feminist groups you have the radicals and the hangers-on. Occasionally I’ll try and convert a hanger-on if she’s hot enough – just simple stuff like pointing out areas that women are better at, having her agree, then pointing out areas men are better at. But, honestly, that’s once in a blue moon, most of the time it’s too much hassle for nothing in return.

        6. He was advising men to not date/marry fatties and feminists. Where did you get advocating celibacy from? Use them when necessary (i.e. dry spells) and abandon them as soon as possible. Neither group of women are not worth your time and money, so invest sparingly.

        7. All of the women I’ve known were effectively feminists, some more brash and explicit than others, but effectively the same. They don’t want marriage or children while they’re young so that they can have the freedom to pursue some ambition to “help others,” “become self-reliant,” “become successful,” whatever. The point is that they consciously postpone their biological imperative for some end that makes them feel more valuable than a woman merely. I’ve known plenty of women who openly disdained feminism and its effects, yet went right on pursuing their own goals to similar effect (no time for lasting relationships in youth, ending as a 30-something year old woman desperate for the catch of the century).

        8. I realize that The Stretcher was targeting these specific types for exclusion, but the upshot of judging women’s character is rejecting them all. I understood his meaning to not only include a ban on dating, but also a refusal to fuck them (total exclusion). I just think it’s going a bit too far to include ideology/character in the criteria for fuckability. If she’s fun and cute, then fuck away, otherwise you’re asking for a whole lot of pain with no results to show for it (you will not change feminism, fattyism, or narcissism). It seems like we’re basically in agreement, except I have a lower opinion of women.

        9. That’s all irrelevant for short term relationships. I have a line a always use, feel free to steal it, “I’m not boyfriend material. I’m the guy you hang out with while you’re waiting for Mr. Right.” When they inquire further say, “I don’t want marriage or kids, I just want to have fun. Just letting you know before you fall in love with me.” Note: this is all said with a cheeky grin. They’ll either laugh and tell you you’re weird (i.e. you’re in), or they’ll look disgusted (i.e. you’re out).

        10. You do know there are different types of feminism, right? Certain types that would be more than willing to “agree” with you that genders tend to excel more in certain areas yet can work together to achieve optimal efficiency?
          You’re right. Not every woman is a feminist.
          Only the good and logical ones are (some type of feminist).
          You people seem to fear the word “feminist” but don’t seem to know much about it. I would suggest brushing up on a bit of philosophy. Become familiar with the topic you bash. Do some reading–some literary criticism would be highly enlightening. You may even be surprised about what YOU end up agreeing with.

      3. The baby boomer females were like the Ukraine girls are today, probably even better. What planet were you living on in 1980? You likely weren’t even born lol

      4. You’re killing it Rambo!
        Its so true too. Where throughout history you normally see girls going for guys plenty older than them, this generation of girls are dating around the same age (albeit attractive/game-aware guys), or preferentially just a few (2-5) years older.
        Many of the “creepers” girls call, where Roosh hates that word, are the OLD FUCKS (around age 40) who still lurk bars and clubs thinking that reading a bit of Chateau Heartiste will make them more desirable. It won’t, because the younger guys are just as aware….they were born AFTER “The Game,” you know……

    2. I don’t see it happening. If anything, feminism has just grown more mainstream. Less extreme perhaps, but more prevalent. Activist culture is becoming more and more trendy everyday, the West is not at the tipping point yet, especially not with new immigrant populations who will latch onto the whole victimhood discourse.
      That’s why sometimes I read American news, and wonder to myself if your politicos ever discuss anything important. It’s all emotionally driven social concerns and no serious politics.

    3. Amen Rambo. You’d be surprised how many young 18-21 chicks have abandoned many of the Mores of the older women before them. It also doesn’t help old feminist hags that older women insanely disrespect young chicks (out of jealousy).
      I’m always shocked when the manosphere gives me a huge “us vs. THEM” perspective, while the girls around my age open up to me about how the “You can have it all” bullshit is just that, bullshit. Yeah they’ll support feminist policies that help them such as Free Birth Control (where are our free condoms…..im tired of breaking the bank for magnums), but many of you older guys would be surprised how well-adjusted the #YOLO generation is when it comes to being REALISTIC about being an “empowered woman” (laugh).
      The Baby Boomers created more of a mess than just feminism. The males are equally to blame in some areas.
      See: them ruining the country as congressmen with their decrepit policies..

  7. Great post, law dogger has been killin it on here recently and is rapidly becoming my favorite ROK writer. Nice job.

  8. Expatriate is best patriot. Nice reminder of brighter skies abroad…too bad I’m stuck in the US for the time being. Oh well, enjoy the decline…

  9. All I can say is that you Gen X and Y boys are complete pipsqueaks to put up with this cockteasing behaviour from females. If a female goes with a man to his place or takes him home she’s consenting to sex.And the idea that she would get into bed with you and not have sex is just plain insane. That girl would be labelled Frigid in my day. You see, we had many ways of shaming females and keeping them on the defensive and docile.
    OK Elmer, you’re a geezer like me why don’t you chime in on this.

  10. This fool must be the 1 lawyer in the US who never read the Constitution (I’m giving you a hint here)
    So answer the question that another poster asked.
    In 1790 what was the minimum amount that you had to sue for in civil court to be able to demand a jury.
    Every grammar school kid who stayed awake in class knows the answer.

  11. Well done on the twist at the end. Better than any story with that loser christian mcqueer.

  12. so can you please explain why it’s so great that the girls didn’t eat? Because I am a recovering anorexic and my boyfriend HATES when I don’t eat He basically forces me to eat all the time. 🙁

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