Jealousy Should Prompt Learning

One of the first concepts I was introduced to as part of my “red pill” reawakening, and certainly one of the core aspects of any man’s self-improvement journey, is moving from a scarcity to an abundance mindset.

In brief: when humans believe there is not enough of something, they start to hoard it, value it, agonize over it, compete for it and be dismayed at their lack of it.  When it seems there is more than enough of something, humans trivialize it, share it, avail themselves of it and are generally unconcerned about it.

Two important notes:

1. It is not the actual availability of something that influences our behaviour, but the perceived availability.

2. A small shift in perception can trigger a shift in attitude, which then alters returns and finally perception, creating a snowball effect.  This too is independent of the actual availability of the thing in question.

We’ll come back to these.

I want stuff

This is an extremely powerful principle – the obvious application in this context is women, but it has equally potent ramifications with regards to money, power, time and motivation (among others).

Look around you – winners are in abundance and losers are in scarcity.  Everyone wants to be the guy with more women, money, time, motivation and/or social status than he knows what to do with, and is secretly glad not to be the guy with none.  It’s a Catch-22, the guy with an abundance mindset always seems to end up with more than he needs while the guy with a scarcity mindset never has enough.  You can debate all day whether it was the chicken or the egg that came first but it’s ultimately semantics, the results speak for themselves.

If you really need “proof” or examples, track down interviews with any rich person and find out if they pinched pennies to get there, ask any smooth guy if he’s worried about losing his girlfriend or observe the most popular guy at a party constantly giving out compliments and building other people up.

S/He has what I want

Right, let’s associate this with jealousy.  What is jealousy?  Being annoyed that someone else has something that you don’t.  The same suspects show up here as mentioned above – women, money, social status, time, motivation etc.

Here’s the epiphany:

It is only possible to be jealous when in a scarcity mindset.

Once more for clarity:

It is only possible to be jealous when in a scarcity mindset.

If we refer back to my two important notes though, we realize that there is an incredibly high chance that this is not due to an actual scarcity but rather a perceived one.  You’re mad because you think someone else is cutting away a slice of your pie, when actually you should be asking their advice on knife sharpening so you can both eat your fill from the communal pie.

Actions points

Next time you find yourself jealous of anyone for your lack of anything:

DON’T:  Be like the friend with no game.  Don’t rationalize a reason they have what they have and you don’t (“he’s lucky he’s so tall, that girl would be with me if I was 6’3”), silently insult them in your own mind (“faggot”) or pretend you don’t care (“whatever, I don’t even want a girlfriend anyway”)

DO:  Gain some respect for that person (they have the ability to get what you want, so the two of you aren’t so different), politely ask for their advice and listen carefully to what they say, apply their advice to see if it works for you and finally be grateful for learning something new.

Everyone knows something you don’t, you’re only shooting yourself in the foot if you get upset about it.

Read more:  The Art Of Learning

17 thoughts on “Jealousy Should Prompt Learning”

  1. You’re talking about competitive envy, which is different than jealousy. The ancient Greeks noticed the benign form of envy was admiration.

    1. Hesiod, “The Works and Days”- “It was never true that there was only one kind of strife. There have always been two on earth. There is one you could like when you understand her. The other is hateful. The two Strifes have separate natures. There is one Strife who builds up evil war, and slaughter. She is harsh; no man loves her, but under compulsion and by will of the immortals men promote this rough Strife. But the other one was born the elder daughter of black Night. The son of Kronos, who sits on high and dwells in the bright air, set her in the roots of the earth and among men; she is far kinder. She pushes the shiftless man to work, for all his laziness. A man looks at his neighbor, who is rich: then he too wants work; for the rich man presses on with his plowing and planting and the ordering of his state. So the neighbor envies the neighbor who presses on toward wealth. Such Strife is a good friend to mortals.”

      1. Yes! You understand. I first felt competitive envy when I was six years old, and now I realize it spurs people on to achieve things they otherwise would not.

  2. Bad looking guy with a good looking girl = Wow good on him.
    Good looking guy with cubster = HA!

  3. The same should be said about all emotions…anger, fear, shame, etc. The difference between being a “man” and just being a male is that a man uses his emotions as a guide to what he needs to do. Males, just like females, will simply stew on emotions or lash out. Don’t do either of these things. Instead, use them as a guide to what actions need to be taken. You afraid something and you don’t like that you’re afraid of it? Go conquer it. Feel shame for how you treated someone? Don’t treat someone like that from here on out. Angry at a bully? Learn to fight, get big, then kick his ass. Emotions are fine if you use them correctly. It’s generally a good practice not to show them too much, but be aware of them and in the right setting (i.e. alone time) contemplate them so as to dig to the root of why you feel a certain way. This is the path to self-improvement and mental/emotional strength.

  4. It seems to me that a woman can also benefit greatly from learning to examine her emotional experience rather than allowing feelings and impulse to control her. Girl, or boy, mastering yourself is what’s alpha.

  5. “Don’t rationalize a reason they have what they have and you don’t (“he’s lucky he’s so tall, that girl would be with me if I was 6’3”), silently insult them in your own mind (“faggot”) or pretend you don’t care (“whatever, I don’t even want a girlfriend anyway”)”
    all behaviors of an insecure man that is fueling his own ignorance

  6. What is also important to note, when applied to women, is that the scarcity mindset is blue pill (your one and only true love is out there). The abundance mindset is much more red pill leaning.

  7. It’s also important not to compare yourself to others. We all have our path with our own advantages and limitations. Worrying about someone who has something we don’t has not benefits.

  8. I embrace jealousy, anger, envy etc and use them as a kind of psychic fuel to drive me towards my goals. If you perceive something as scarce, then it probably is for you in your current situation. This should be the cue to change your current situation.

  9. Good post. I’ve been thinking about the importance of mental states and wondering if there are specific ways to deliberately change your frame of mind. E.g., I want to feel happy/ relaxed/ powerful/in a state of abundance. Or, I want to get into a social/airheaded/girl-talk mindset, as opposed to an analytical/scientific/nerdy one.

  10. Stubbornness to learn and apply new skills at game is the #1 reason for not getting the girls OR getting ahead in life in general.

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