My evangelical mother insisted my brother and I participate in a weekly high school bible-study. Our granola group leader was moving to the Czech Republic to teach English and our new leader was, you could say, not normal. This older gentleman, well in his forties, was the epitome of quiet, professional, badass. He didn’t talk much at first. As time went on he called each and every kid in my group out on their bullshit, including me. He taught us how to think critically. He taught us to shoot. He watched us make mistakes, and freely helped when we asked. One of the most important lessons he taught me though, mainly by example, was to be a force-multiplier, not a one-man island.
When I went to college I was without my support system. I fell apart pretty quick. Wandering around the local downtown on a December evening, avoiding studying for finals and looking for smokes, I happened upon a hole-in-the-wall cigar shop off in an abandoned corner. I plopped my ass in a chair inside the cramped establishment as the twinge of quality tobacco smoke crawled up my nostrils. There were four men huddled around a small table, with a bottle of single-malt and some cards. They eyed me, unsure if I were a temporary interruption, or one of the drunk college kids common in the area. I kept my mouth shut and listened.
The men spoke about women, cars, sports and everything in between. They were all of different backgrounds and ranged from mid-thirties to late sixties. The only employee, a slender middle-aged man, would seldom speak, but commanded attention from the others. Just as I was analyzing the scene, the man calmly turned to me, and in a manner that was stern yet inviting, pointed to a specific cigar near my seat, and said “ditch that cigarette, grab one of those and pull up a chair.”
After a night of bullshitting and listening to countless stories, debates, and man-chat, I went back to my dorm. I dragged my roommates back with me the next day. The same men were at the cigar shop and seemed to cautiously appreciate the injection of youth. We were all intelligent, well spoken and knew our place in the social hierarchy of this weird little bubble: rock bottom.
The four men from the night of my introduction were not the only members of this small society. Other men came and went. A rhythm was noticeable among the regulars. Like clockwork, evening would come, and parts of the group would appear, sometimes the entire ensemble, and a quorum would be had on the red stone pavers out front, well into the night.
As time went on, the regulars of that shop guided my college buddies and I with care and concern that grew out of a slowly earned trust. Not everyone saw eye-to-eye, but respect was paramount. That shop was the safest place I knew to take my problems or ideas with school, women, work, and even my family. Despite moving away, I still go back whenever I can, and regularly speak with others who found sanctuary from the world in that little spot. That happen-chance stop on a December evening years prior, became one of the turning moments of my manhood.
Men need male companionship
To wander without aim or companionship is not beneficial to any man. And to leave other men to the same fate of chance as I is negligent on my part. That cigar shop had nothing special about it. Sure the ever-present cloud of smoke, hugging the low ceiling, helped keep the weak of heart out, but it was not unique. Men congregated at that spot because there were other men there; men of virtue and morals, all alphas in their own right. What kept these men together was the effort made by one man, the shop employee, to call them, invite them and remind them of their haven, amid their busy work and social lives. A male safe space isn’t actually a physical space, its a network. This site being a prime example.
The employee of the cigar shop was like my group leader in high school. They are force multipliers, they are leaders. Men need to forge the bonds that tie us together. Alpha males will always be driven, and consequentially busy. It is the leader who takes the bit of time to gather the group, which generates a male-safe space. If every male adopted this small responsibility, and helped form groups of men to which they were accountable, wherever they may be, male safe spaces would not be hard to find. In addition, mentoring younger men would be much simpler, as a group has more resources than a lone mentor. Most importantly, a space would be less vulnerable to detrimental influence, due to the increased difficulty for unwanted members to make their way in.
Find other like-minded men, make commitments, and grow your space. Seek out the space you need rather than sitting there like a beta wishing you would stumble upon it. If you can’t find a space that fits, make the space you want and make it well.
Find your network
We men are, if anything, logical and intelligent. That last thing men want, is to waste time on someone who is a lost cause, or repeatedly displays behavior that labels them a risk. For those of you who are currently in the position I used to be in, here are some simple guidelines to follow when you go looking for a network of alpha males.
1. Pay attention. Watch with all your faculties.
2. Listen. Biggest key to listening, which seems to be confused these days, is to keep your trap shut. Talking is not listening. Listen to men who speak to other men with virtue and justice.
3. Be prepared to contribute something. After you’ve passed the probationary period (often unspoken, but existent), you will be accepted as one of the group. “Probation” is different from space to space, some may require little vetting, others may ask you to pledge your firstborn. Do not expect a network to allow you to leech their resources without giving of yourself, be it time, wisdom or other.
4. Make the effort. I’m not saying be a bitch, but make the effort to keep in contact, schedule and follow through. Phones have been around for a while and they aren’t for playing games all the time.
5. Admit your mistakes the instant you become aware of them. Of all the men I consider equals or elders, each one is well aware of the struggle that is manhood. The one thing they don’t put up with, is an individual unwilling to acknowledge their mistakes, or even worse, someone who fails to learn from them.
Barber shops, golf courses, pool halls, shooting ranges, club houses, and many other bastions of masculinity is what our fathers and grandfathers grew up in. It’s left to us to stop the political correctness, femininity and general pussification that is invading them.
Read More: Why Women And Gays Should Not Be Allowed In Male-Safe Spaces
My experience is that it’s not that hard to find, you just need to get out of your local comfort zone. For example there’s a few shady dive bars near me that are entirely male(with the exception of the female bartenders), and you can find social clubs that are all male. Most Riding groups are all-male, and there’s a lot of other organizations getting on board with that. For example the church near me now has men’s only meetings and breakfasts.
Women have their purpose but I entirely agree that no matter how great your woman(women) is or isn’t that it’s good for you to get away from them from time to time.
Very good article. Just as steel sharpens steel, so is a man sharpened by another man.
No homo…
lol… yeah you could read that the wrong way…
If it doesn’t make women uncomfortable, it’s not a male space.
excellent article. do you have suggestions for spaces such as this in major urban areas? i lived for years in the DC area and i can’t recall a single such place.
barber shops? finding an old fashioned, non “hair cuttery” barber shop in DC would be as easy as finding a shaman on K street.
billiard halls? full of happy hour drunken imbeciles and girls being “cute” by displaying their utter incompetence at yet another task. DC area residents who visited buffalo billiards will surely agree.
shooting ranges? guns illegal in the city, except at home for self defense.
male clubs (like the metropolitan club) are as expensive as they are exclusive; i have one friend who is a member and his father called in many favors to have his son admitted.
but your point is well taken. would appreciate any suggestions for urban residents or urban travelers.
thank you
Agree and cosign the request. Find same issues here in Canadian Midwest.
@rez and @sean;
Listed above was what used to be male only spaces. Now you need to do the footwork and find the equivalent in your area, forget google and start hitting the pavement, you might need to look in smaller towns nearby.
Find a male christian softball team. There you will find a wide range of wisdom from all ages.
Chess clubs
Male only spaces are absolutely crucial, now more than ever, for the proper development of boys into men. What hope does a boy have in this modern age of single mothers, limp wristed fathers and big daddy government as the head of the household even if dad is present?
I take great pleasure in regularly freeing those young men I can from the constraints society places on them, to instill and nourish the masculinity they know is theirs by birthright despite having been told to contain it all of their lives.
It is our duty as men to do so.
5. Avoid any male gathering areas where there are married beta-faggots. They will add nothing, and destroy everything with their pussification.
Lets realistic, a lot men still have to work in office environments.
4. keep in touch. I work in this environment and it is essential to have a few friends you can talk red pill shit with when your throwing up in the garbage can because the guy in the next cubicle over gets chocolate and roses once a week for his girlfriend, sings endless love ballads while writing full page facebook messages professing his love to her…. Holy shit.
The married guy in the next cubicle commutes one hour to work every day because his bitch made him move so she could live and work in her favorite with only a 15 minutes commute.
He also buries himself in the biggest fucking mortgage possible because his bitch liked that house and now he’s a debt slave. Now he’s putting in as much overtime as possible.
I know a guy who was going to quit his job to pursue his Masters (which would have earned him much more down the road). But then he got married and lo and behold he “bought” a mortgage to live in a house. He bought all this expensive furniture to fill the fucking void of space. Then he bought a luxury car. He had to turn down the Masters and keep his job to pay the fucking bills so his bitch can be comfortable. Now that’s slavery.
The beta male also ends up paying for her vanity: shoes, purses, furniture, jewellery, etc.
I’ve seen this happen in my office time and time again. All the commuters I know who live more than 30 min. from work are either married or living their girlfriend. The commuters are the ones that always have a grim face; they never look happy.
Seems like you are projecting. Care to share?
Would this include the male mentors in this story? Because 5-to-1 odds almost all of them had wives.
The only real men are the ones without wives? Really? Better to stay a grown up child I suppose…
Quote: “Avoid any male gathering areas where there are married beta-faggots. They will add nothing, and destroy everything with their pussification”
Fuckin’ Gospel.
Lot of married beta-faggots here apparently.
The friend of my enemy is NOT my friend.
I dont trust any married faggot-slaves. If some of fuckers here want to — then be my guest.
Stand-out article. Two mid-20s guys came in to a burger joint I usually frequent. Overhearing their conversation, one in particular was excited to start a culinary cooperative, get to know his suppliers directly, etc. Couldn’t recall all details but he sounded a bit lost, though highly motivated. I took a napkin and wrote the following on it:
‘Is Your Genius At Work?’ by Dick Richards (finding your personal mission statement)
David Deida’s “Spirit Sex Love” on Youtube (masculine / feminine polarities)
I greeted them, admitted to listening in and asked if the motivated dreamer would mind some feedback. “Definitely!” I mentioned the Richards book, wished his success on his journey and handed him the napkin.
“There are other recommendations inside…” where I wrote
ReturnofKings.com
RationalMale.com
Spread the word fellas, and lets make those vital male spaces.
Bad link that goes to a domain for sale message. Did you mean http://therationalmale.com/ ?
Yeah, realized that after checking the link now. Will correct for the future.
Awesome! Thank you for doing that. An example to all.
Righteous move.
I like the article and agree 100% that men need male only spaces but the suggestions provided simply don’t apply where I live.
Barber shops-maybe if your black, white guy barber shops are total family spaces in the south at least
golf courses-your best suggestion, i would recommend hanging around the dudes that gamble but that will get expensive real fast
pool halls-I have probably spent 1000’s of hours in these. modern pool halls are either beta infested chain sports bars or meth/pill infested shit holes. “action rooms” (pool halls with lots of gambling) and pool halls similar to “color of money” are long gone.
shooting ranges-must depend on the range, most here have no social aspect, tons of couple and kids
club houses-not sure what you mean
Some suggestions I have
Hunting trips, fishing trips, join a masonic lodge, martial arts, poker games, or various other gambling establishments. A woman at these events is either not allowed or rarely encountered.
Regarding shooting ranges… If it’s the indoor type (usually part of a gun store and only suitable for handguns), there is little chance to converse or bond with fellow shooters who usually pay for their time, shoot, and leave. Also, women are not uncommon at these ranges.
Outdoor ranges, where one goes to shoot trap and skeet or long distance targets with a rifle, are virtually all male and typically have a clubhouse where shooters congregate to talk, watch TV, play cards, drink coffee, etc. One that I used to frequent was in the middle of nowhere, beautiful surroundings, and had a log cabin clubhouse that you could smoke in. The range master was a soft-spoken old man with an incredibly dry sense of humor, always smoking a pipe or cigar. Shooting there was like stepping back in time. Such places are admittedly rare, but worth searching for.
Hardcore martial arts clubs (muay thai, MMA). Women do show up but they know their place and do not interfere. No where is male dominance more clear than in a place where they are belting the crap out of each other.
The disease is spreading everywhere. I now find lots of white knights there who would otherwise have potential. Even our new Muay Thai Kru, a tough looking guy, I found out is actually a super white knight when reading his feminist/white knight Facebook posts. Un-fucking-believable.
Off the beaten path a bit, but my male group plays disc golf. Almost never see a woman out there (no ladies’ tees), its outdoors with lots of time to chat/poke fun at each other’s game, plus it’s cheap. Doesn’t have to be pool or cigars, fellas, just whatever works.
What’s anyone’s take on VFW’s?
VFW’s are usually nothing but a bunch of drunks, same with the Legion. I quit both many years ago.
Not currently affiliated with any group, but I have a close knit group of men that I hang out with from time to time.
Author is spot on, good article.
All clubs and societies are large enough to have multiple sub-groups that co – exist and overlap under the same roof.
There’s too many followers looking for their perfect version of a gathering of men to already be in session under strong leadership waiting for them to just open the door and walk in. The reality is the anti-institutional nature of the baby boom has left a generational gap in most men’s institutions in america.
In some places you’ll find you’re the leader and it’s up to you to forge the connections and build the relationships.
Co – opting existing orgs and building within them what you want is smart. Sick organizations like a vfw ran by only drunks obviously can’t last long, and they would not only welcome fresh blood, but a palace coop as well.
The real estate and tax advantages offered by working within the framework of existing old school fraternal orgs is huge. Why reinvent the wheel? Instead join the already existing ones in your neighborhood and build what you want within them, at a must lower cost in energy and time.
Join a Masonic lodge, they always have been and always will be exclusively male.
Depends on what you think of Freemasonry in general.
Had a similar experience when travelling in Japan. Was one of the best nights of my life in the company of seven other Japanese men talking about everything from women to Japanese pop culture. As the author says I was rock bottom of the social order here but yet the respect I felt from these gentlemen far outweighs most social interactions in Australia.
Was it like one of your Japanese Animes? [/joking]
Did they take you to a pink salon? 😛
Has this writer been published yet? I suppose a man does not need to be published these days, with the internet and all, but that is some high quality descriptive writing. Nicely done.
One will only find head cases in any setting centered around Christian gatherings. There is a contingent of the manosphere that seems to be longing for the good old days of traditional Christian living. Y’all need to find another way to lock down your bitches. Sorry, but if you need to comfort yourself by believing in your buddy Christ, you’re not a fully-fledged male being. Myths and fairy tales are for children.
Though, I should say men should spend time with other men, and I agree that there needs to be a reestablishment of masculine spaces.
There will always be a longing back for the good old days. Whether it’s for the mythical garden of Eden or for the Roman Empire. The reality is that there was never any good old days. Each generation has it’s own unique problems and it’s up to each generation to find their solutions to the problems at hand.
Speak for yourself. I’m more man than most men will ever be. It’s this pride that destroyed us in the first place.
That’s exactly what I was doing, speaking for myself, of my own opinion that religous people are incredibly naive, gullible, and not of sound mind. The future of men will be quite bleak if we continue to hold on to the superstitions of our ancestors.
Try to cling to the earth, your moments, and or legacy. Know this: nothing we have or leave behind in this world will last.
Kind of odd considering how many masculine icons have been predominantly Christian. Galileo, Augustine of Hippo, Ian Fleming (The man that wrote Bond, one of the go-to Alpha archetypes of all time).
Good article.
To give your sons (and daughters) a better start in life, either home school, or send them to segregated schools.
While firing ranges per se is not really conducive to social gatherings (just a bit noisy, and often all manners of rules wrt alcohol), whatever remains of the various militia and secessionist groups that sprang up in the 90s, are generally pretty solid conservative male bastions.
Hunting camps can be OK, as guns in general tend to screen out the worst of the well indoctrinateds; but in many cases at least some members of the party is so invested in the current status quo, that they put an effective crimp on discourse.
Religious groups can be very good. Som Jewish and Islamic congregations obviously; but also Mormon and the occasional fundamentalist Christian one. Like the one your mentioned in the article; any bible study group that teaches kids how to shoot, is probably a good one.
Militias & religious groups, huh?
Other venues:
— Regular poker games. My barber hosts one at his house.
— Sailboat racing. Join a crew.
— Boatbuilding club, or similar. As a bonus, you get a boat out of it, and a start on a lifetime of challenge and enjoyment. To get a sense of what it’s all about, read a few issues of Woodenboat Magazine. Take an introductory boatbuilding course. Woodworking is still mostly a guy thing. (This is hard to do if you live in an apartment.)
— If you live in a city, check to see if there’s a military history club.
Unfortunately most of these places have also been ruined by women. My cricket club is a good example of this. I first started playing seniors cricket when I was 14 and after each game, all players would go back to our local ‘club-house’ and have drinks and talk about our game etc, most times getting about 100 men both playing and coming to the club-house after the game. Over the past 10-15 years, the number of people who go back to the club-house after the game slowly declined and now we’re lucky to get 5 people after each game and the number of players we have has also declined. When you ask people to play on the weekend or try and get people to come back to the club-house, almost all the men reply that they have to check with their wives or that they’re wife didn’t let them or something to that effect. I’m fairly new to the red-pill but even before that, I just kept wondering why are all these men so scared of their wives? Now I know the answer…
I remember a discussion with two actors on the set of this indie noir film where we starred as two bad guys and a gritty cop.
One regularly did car commercials and managed to piss off Eric Roberts, the other was getting into his early fifties but had a better physique than guys my age. While we were talking during a break in rehearsal I got a sense of that being at the bottom of a very peculiar and worthwhile social group.
I think any monger hangout in Thai or Phils will fit this bill! 😀
Men’s dorms in universities used to provide this sort of space, but the universities have killed that by making dorms coed. It is up to men to make their own spaces and keep that space free from… I was going to say vermin… undesirables, intruders, interlopers, nah lets go with vermin.
One thing that I had to watch out for when joining these types of groups was an education in how to be a beta. What I found is that as long as I somehow obtained an idea of a man’s quality of life, I could learn from what he said. His thoughts became linked to the result and I could then test my pattern of thinking. Avoid sport activities with boomer mentors and often their seniors as it can be a venue for a whipped beta to think he is something while he beats the fight out of you. It is very hard to see this happen to yourself, but who you serve and march with can shape you.
Maybe another avenue to watch for is being groomed to be used in the business world.
It does not take much effort to do what this fine writer says while breaking into the realm of more successful men. You have to be creative, but I found that it is actually very easy. You are who you hang around with.
The biggest homophobes are women and betas who feel threatened by male-only spaces. They’ll waste no time calling it “gay.” It’s a shit-test of the highest order and symptomatic of a society sickened by the idea that everything must have a sexual undertone.
This is a really well written piece. I found my spot in the skeet house at my local range. The same group of guys have been congregating there for years, including myself. We have 6-8 events a year that are family functions, to raise funds for the local food pantry, but otherwise it is nearly exclusively male. After 2-3 rounds we relocate to the clubhouse, where you can still smoke inside and beers are 2 dollars a pop. I have been faithfully going at least once a week for almost a decade, and I’m still the young buck at 30.
I also disagree with another comment that married men ruin these events. It doesn’t really matter what the man’s relationship status is or isn’t, simply that he is there and participates. At a certain point most men want to reproduce, and those of us that do understand the importance of the nuclear family. I would never allow my children to be raised by another man or by the government.
the first paragraph you wrote got me to think about my youth pastor he is the exact opposite of what you wrote its quite sad to watch.
Historically, it has been the alpha males that make things go.
The only thing matriarchal societies bring, is stagnation, and strict adherence to The Rules.
It is amusing, it is labeled “progressive”, to promote a regressive totalitarian system.
Matriarchy brings one of the worst fucking kind of government: the nanny state. Don’t do this, don’t touch that, don’t say this, don’t think that, etc. Regulate this, more laws to fix that, license this, certify that, ban this, etc.
Be a good goyim and pay your taxes to nanny so we can brainwash kids into growing up to be entitled bitches with victim complexes and faggots.
this sums the article up perfectly! (Proverbs 27:17)
“Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.”
men are cunts too. all my guy friends ultimately competed against me, sabotaged me, and stabbed me in the back. guys are getting worse too….sociopathy is darwinian.
Finals are never in December. that’s halfway through the semester, dude. Those are midterms you’re talking about. See-it’s these small inconsistencies that are starting to make me question all the stories written up in here.
You do know that a lot of colleges work on quarters, and not semesters, right?
Awesome article, I can definitively relate with the author because I was lucky enough to find a similar type “male space” when I was in my early twenties (I’m 25 now). I live within walking distance of a pool hall which serves alcohol and I can say the friends I’ve met there have been very generous in providing me with wisdom about issues that a man will face in life. As with anything it always pays off to listen and learn from ones elders
First, thank you for the positive feedback everyone. I’ve seen a common question or request, “Where should I look?” or “How does this apply to my area? [area description follows]”
My answer: “Don’t pay obsess over a location type/style when looking for a network. {1} Do what interests and benefits you first. This satisfies two things, it keeps in line with an alpha mentality and ensures you are enjoying what you’re doing.{2} Make the suggested methods of operation part of your daily mindset. This will make you more aware of individuals actions around you and keep you ready to capitalize of any opportunities.
I took a job on an oil tanker while on sabbatical from my first career as a biologist. I never went back. That was 17 years ago. Merchant ships are an extreme example of an all-male environment because of the isolation, but if you get a good crew, it makes for a fantastic experience. It’s sobering to watch these preprogrammed college kids come out for their first experience and get schooled- the end result is either abject failure (they quit in tears and take a job as an office drone somewhere), or being able to watch the epiphany when someone just ‘gets it’ in terms of the life lessons, camaraderie, and grows up.
Young men benefit from mentoring, always have, but we have made that sort of beneficial environment something of which to be ashamed. Seriously, how many of you immediately thought ‘gay’ when I wrote about working on a ship with a bunch of men? There’s nothing to be ashamed of there- that’s the shame that has been indoctrinated into the last two generations; we’re not supposed to desire to seek out peer guidance from men who reject the feminine imperative. Rather, we ridicule men who prefer to keep company with men when it comes to fellowship, learning and seeking guidance. Really, other than sex, there’s no place or need for women in that lifestyle- which is why women hate it. Reducto non absurdam.
Thinking like that, understanding that women can be invited to share our lives but can be extraneous to all but the sexual parts of it is EXACTLY what women fear. When we are taught that we are more than a servant-in-training as men, they lose power over us, and that makes mentoring and peer learning a threat.
Wasnt there already an article like this written in ROK?
Excellent article. Male companionship definitely makes a man feel like a man. Hanging around women all the time is a recipe to become emasculated and effeminate. Great post.
Damned straight, I’ve been harping on this for years. If you lose your circle of men, you lose something of your masculinity. These can be the regulars at a bar, a social club, hell, even a D&D game. The two best I have are the VFW and hunting camp. Be unapologetic about barring women. Know your role. Accept your place in the heirarchy. Work up. You will learn more around the card table, the bar or the bonfire than you ever will in class.
I read the shit out of this.