Get Your Fire Back

At first you won’t notice. You settle into routine, go about your activities without much other thinking. Your gym sessions, when you actually make it there, will be lackluster at best, going through the motions with the vigor of a Ferris wheel. You find you have aches and pains from…well…you’re not too sure. Drinking more beers than you have fingers and toes on Saturday takes all of Sunday and part of Monday to feel normal again, and just a few minutes ago you said something akin to “I can’t do X or Y like I used to.”

Then it hits you. Like a palm forged from embarrassment and frustration, it hits you.

What happened to that fire? That absolute unbreakable spirit that dominates the psyche of strong young men? It just faded, the wind died down and now it is but a smoldering pile of coals, but you’re way too young to feel this way. “Slowing down” like this is for geriatric people in warmer climates. You’re about as aggressive as a pussy-whipped suburban dad who was forced to use his Corvette savings to buy a new minivan for his ever-fattening wife to drive the kids to soccer practice. Is this hormonal? Do you have AIDS? Maybe this is aging…can’t be, I’m only twenty.

“I thought I could have written about all the years where I made no progress, and felt very content with myself for no god damn reason at all.  Whether I lost my drive or desire, I have no idea.  However eventually I woke up one day and realized….holy shit I’ve been lifting the same things for years and years now.  I’m not any stronger.  I’m not any better.  Fuck, I’m caught in the weight training version of Groundhog’s Day!”

– Paul Carter of

Contentment. To truly solve a problem it must be understood why it was allowed to happen. If a water pipe in your house leaks, it does not serve you well to just patch the hole. That is a Band-Aid solution, and Band-Aids are temporary. Think deeper, corrosion may be to blame; a blockage causing turbulent flow may be speeding up the corrosion. The same thinking must be applied to your recent epiphany. Let us brainstorm a little: males of this current generation, aged between 18-21, have it pretty good. Shelter, food, and water are, for the most part, of no concern. Post-secondary education is available for many budgets and fields of study. There is no major war taking place, so we don’t have to worry about getting drafted and dying in a foreign town we can’t pronounce. An unfathomable amount of free information, music, movies and porn is available at the tip of our fingers on multiple devices, and to top it off, you can drink, smoke, and gamble legally (I live in Canada). We are softer than our fathers and grandfathers who left us this wonderful life, by a tenfold. We are allowed to be comfortable, living on the edge is optional. We are allowed to be content too early, and contentment, although comfortable, dulls progress.

“Stop all the things that make you a pussy and steal your energy. Get your life back.”

– Jim Wendler

The fire in you, although weakened, is not completely smothered. You need to remove the ashes and damp logs, allow clean air to flow, and add some fresh kindling with a splash of gasoline. From there, larger and larger pieces of wood will be added until the campfire turns back into a raging wildfire. Start with your computer, or your smartphone, if you have one: Delete all the apps and other bullshit that doesn’t complement your rebirth; memes used to be funny, but you’re an adult now, delete ’em. Seek to master your chosen profession, or ditch the desk and learn a trade, if you need a change. Clean your fucking vehicle and put some women in it, and if going fast is your thing, get a motor between your legs. Start up a performance-based training program, straighten up your diet, and prepare to hit weight and rep PR’s like clockwork.

Re-ignition. I’m proud to say that rather than surrender to mediocrity, I chose to reinvent myself by myself. I became my own therapist by nourishing my mind with quality information and my body with quality nutrition. I studied game on ROK and various books, and began dating one of the few girls in my town that wasn’t insane. I learned to further enjoy my job as a pipefitter by committing to getting better. Hell, I even got back into snowmobiling, because few things beat the feeling of doing 120 MPH on a frozen lake.

I was back to my old self by the time I turned 21, my fire was once again burning strong. If a swift kick in the ass and a little excitement can’t get you out of a slump, then you are broken. Get your fire back.

Read More: Are You On Pace To Reach Your Goals?

38 thoughts on “Get Your Fire Back”

  1. THANKS!!! I ain’t 20 anymore, that’s for sure, but I had an epiphany about a year ago, after a divorce, and I’ve been getting stale lately. I needed to hear this.

  2. I just did a short stint in jail that forced me to stay sober, work on my body and my mind. (Chess, books etc.) Since I lost my finance job due to the F, I thought that I would feel inadequate or demasculayed, now that all of my tailor suits sit dormant under plastic in the closet. But you know what? Finding freedom again after it was taken away for awhile coupled with a jump start on getting into shape inspires a new sense of MENTAL freedom within me.
    This fucking iPhone breeds lethargy, with the entire wealth of man’s knowledge and infinite social distraction a thumb tap away.
    So much of the shit we look at on the internet is hurting us, rather than improving.
    I thank the author for the reminder.
    Time to get up, get out and get it.
    Spring awakening boys, everyone can make a second chance.

    1. Or you can use the phone to your advantage.
      I have a couple of workout apps that gets me going.

    2. Whens the best time to plant a tree?
      30 years ago.
      When’s the second best time?

    3. Great story. The next step in Game evolution is the spiritual retreat.
      Game is evolving. It’s come out of the cellar and is going to take men to heights undreamed of.

      1. Next Level I feel you. After acheiving success with females, reaching a state of “effortless attraction”, where do you go after that?
        Game isn’t all openers and bang logistics, the much bigger game is LIFE (no Milton Bradley joke) and the prizes it can offer are much more rewarding.
        Keep that Fire sparked as such.

  3. There are only excuses for guys in their early 20’s with no fire. Us older gents have it different but can still have the same excuses like the younger bucks. We get into a comfort zone or daily routines or patterns where things are safe and free from uncertainty. It seems like security wins out more often. As the article states, we have more conveniences now that allow us to not put forth as much work or effort to get things done. We all have it in us to to the great things that we want to do and be the great men we want to become but unless we are willing to put in the work to get what is needed, things will never progress. Motivation is needed, failure is needed the fuel to the fire. All of the basic needs (lust, envy, desire) is what keeps things going to a place where average is not good enough. As Kings we need to rise to power!

    1. Moments of contentment are important. They give us time to reflect on what we have accomplished, and to plan for things to come next. What’s dangerous, and counter-productive to the acquisition of things to have moments of contentment on, is to be complacent, and stay contented.
      To quote Machiavelli: “When neither their property nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.” However, “I say at once there are fewer difficulties in holding hereditary states…unless he be deprived of it by some extraordinary and excessive force…and in the antiquity and duration of his rule the memories and motives that make for change are lost, for one change always leaves the toothing for another.”
      Men who stay contented are just setting themselves for a fall.

    2. Great comments Chris.
      It’s the same on the socio-economic level as well. If you want prosperous, motivated industrious people then you can’t have a ‘provide you with everything’ social welfare system. It breeds complacency, laziness and sloth. It’s funny how consistent human behavior is, isn’t it?
      The nice thing about the manosphere is that most young men are already here looking to improve themselves in some way or another. That’s a great sign really.

  4. As a man in his early 30’s, I’ve achieved everything that society told me would make me a “man”. The stable job, mortgage, wife and kid.. And god damn, I’m pulling my hair out because I’m so bored! But it seems it’s a battle with my own willpower to do anything BECAUSE I’m so comfortable. There’s no immediate threat to my well being or way of life to enact a change. That’s the greatest threat to my generation.. Ourselves

    1. You’re not bulletproof to unemployment, divorce, child support, alimony, foreclosure, poor health, lack of jobs when kids are 18…I’ll stop there. Enough threats for ya?

    1. When I am in the gym I look at men way more muscular than me but none of them seem to have any energy or fire. I dont see any anger or aggression or trying as hard as humanly possibly to do those few extra reps. Just people walking slow with their chests stuck out around acting like badasses.

  5. Once again, nice timing on the articles here at ROK. I really have gotten too comfortable with my current way of living and it’s time to really be more productive with myself.

  6. This is something that I have noticed is the past few years. I recall when I was in my early 20s (about a decade ago) talking about my passions (philosophy, martial arts, women, etc) in depth, would fill me with a burning restlessness, and sometimes cause me to almost shake with excitement. But a few years ago I noticed that I no longer felt thst same, electric surge, and I wanted it back.
    When we get older, I find it is important for us to remember who we were, and who we want to be. Reignite those old passions and push ourselves like we once did. Get excited, but perhaps temper it with some wisdom gained through experience, but don’t forget that unbridled electric lust for what makes our lives meaningful.

    1. Mentor young men. That is something to get out of bed for, especially when they succeed.

  7. Emasculated modern men need rage to discover their masculinity. Not against fellow men, but against themselves for kissing the asses of bitches of modern women. They need to hate women to love themselves. True trailblazers of men in human history were all misogynists, either openly or secretly. Men need anger to grow as real men. The spineless asskissing boys who call themselves as men in modern times are the greatest danger to men for the future. Fuck them. Fuck them seriously. Only an angry man can take action.

    1. I concur with the issue of emasculated men keeping other men down rather than doing things to improve themselves.
      Every mangina I’ve known who espouses “women’s rights” and talks about “poor innocent women” has been a total backstabbing cocksucker miserable wreck who will backstab his friend for a piece of ass that will dump his stupid self as soon as she realizes he isn’t the real deal.
      My boss is an old fuck like this… totally started hating me as soon as he realized that the employee he had a pedo-crush (literally 35 year age difference) on actually had feelings and respect for me… He is soo pussy whipped by her in fact that she verbally humiliates him in front of everyone and he NEVER disciplines her… If I told my boss to his face that he is stupid and old I’d be kicked out IN A SECOND…
      He once threatened to punch me in the face because I made a bad joke to her and she started to cry (no exaggeration, I shit you not). My boss literally threatened me to my face and I just looked him in the eye and waited for his move… he took it back but thats when I realized she had him totally wrapped around her finger. You know how that ended??? With her snuggling up to me and from then on constantly trying to get her paws all over me (I know the drill… I just avoided her and kept her at a distance.. girl colleague is a no-go for me). His attempt to console her and be Captain Save-a-Ho ended in typical beta-orbiter fashion. Needless to say… the guy fucking hates me… and tries to bring me down whenever he can… but he can’t fire me yet kuz he needs me right now…
      Come to think of it… fuck this place I’m getting the fuck out of here lol… no way I’m gonna live like this for the rest of my life… If I had the option to knock the fucker out without committing professional suicide believe me that would have happened a long time ago…
      My point is that all these female friendly mangina environments breed some of the most miserable passive aggressive losers I’ve ever seen… The kind of men who don’t invest in improving themselves… but want everyone else to be as miserable as they are.
      My boss has money… he has “power”… but i do not envy him. He’s a fat fuck with a lazy degenerate son who’s still totally blue-pill in the twilight years of his life, oh yeah with no hobbies or real friends… he tries to be-friend his female employees and he treats young men (alpha or beta) like shit… Lol is it any surprise no one really gives a shit about him? Bros before hoes… get with the program. I’d take freedom over money (if you have to sacrifice freedom for it) any day.

      1. Should do the Fight Club way of handling dick bosses. He’s already made a threat haha.

  8. Breathe deep, controlled.
    Get your gut in order.
    Find silence in your head, and watch what fucked up memories surface. Do not judge yourself, but observe these memories. They are the bars of your prison, you are the guard. Once you realize the idiocy, the bars slowly dissolve.
    Lift. Deadlifts, squats.
    Lift. Slow pushups, slow pullups, try something new, a handstand, a one arm pushup, have a goal other than the guys in the gym on the treadmill.
    Realize you are in a ditch, realize your fire is dwindling. Realize, that after this realization, the only way is out, the only way is more fire.
    Practice patience.
    Practice calm.
    Practice discipline in every item above.
    Few things that I do to get me out of my rut, our of my drought.
    Most important,
    Remember you will die. Remember you are mortal. Remember your time is limited.
    Whatever you’re afraid of will not kill you, time will.

    1. “Time will” -> There is a guy in India who is 179 years old. Google it if you want to see a picture and read his story.
      In his eyes, death is a blessing. Fire can burn only for so long…

  9. Quit drinking, sugar and grains. The Axis of Nutritional Evil. They will destroy your mind and your body.
    Add to that, get good sleep. The substances above ruin your sleep. Good sleep plus good nutrition makes everything better, including work. Also, the results of your work-outs will be greatly improved.

  10. No Porn, No cat videos, no hours on facebook. Cut the distractions, man up and get something done

  11. “Is this hormonal? Do you have AIDS?”
    Nope. It was leukemia, actually. Then the nurses and my family and friends inadvertently led me to the red pill by constantly encouraging me to feel sorry for myself, and for telling me it’s okay for me to complain. I knew better. It always felt wrong to play the victim… deeply wrong. I was betraying myself and my body. There was no way I would recover if I continued to “take it easy, because [you’ve] been through a lot.” I had to challenge myself and ignore the swarm of nurses, female and feminized family members, and female and feminized friends that continued to pull me back down like the green vending machine toys from Toy Story.
    The red pill didn’t just change my life… it literally (actually using this word correctly) saved it.

  12. ” Maybe this is aging…can’t be, I’m only twenty. ”
    Lately I’ve been thinking this same exact thing… I’m 19.
    Everything you say is true. I’m too comfortable.
    I’ve had this post bookmarked for a month or two. It was the first post I came accross on RoK. I’ve been reading it once a day for the past few weeks.
    I found a job in sales. I’ve never been comfortable around other people. Maybe this will help. Earlier this week I swore off videogames and bullshit time-wasting websites. I went to the gym today for the first time in months. I deadlifted 215 lbs. Might be babyweight to some, but it’s a lot for me.
    This post got me going again. Right now it’s little more than a pile of burning kindling. But it’s there. This post was the spark. Thank you.

Comments are closed.