I’m a boob guy. I love me some titties—always have and always will. Given that I also really like Asian women, I’ve had some pretty depressing times, as you can imagine. Asian flat-chestedness keeps bringing me back to white women time and time again. God damn you white women—I can’t quit you. However, there have been a few occasions where both Asian and white women have severely punished me for my love of the jugs. I remember this one girl in particular from a few years ago…
She was just my type—only about 5’2 and 105 lbs—and had the most incredible set of “DD” tits that I have ever seen. The contrast between her huge rack and slim waist was completely boner-inducing. I was determined to get this chick and would do whatever it took to get her in bed. There’s just something about petite women with big racks that I like. I have no explanation for it.
So, I get this girl to go out with me and it turns out she was pretty conservative. I think she had only fucked about 11 guys by the time I got to her (she was in her mid 20’s). We had a great first date that ended with some messing around, but she kept stopping me whenever I tried to gain access to her titties. She was playing goalie with her bra strap and I was trying to pull some David Beckham shit to get around her impenetrable defense. I assume it’s because we were sitting in her car in a busy parking lot that she became a little shy. I got a few good gropes from underneath her shirt, but alas, no real action. Ultimately, she declined the offer to come to my place and finish off the night because she had to work early the next day (she was taking the “I don’t want you to think I’m a slut” thing seriously).
Undeterred, I stepped up the sexual innuendo in texting and continued the pursuit. I invited her over to my place for a movie night and she accepts. All goes well, I’m my usual charming self and she’s eating it up. She’s feeling a lot more relaxed than she was the first night and I’m closing in on the sex that I’ve been looking forward to so much.
Things started to get heated. I picked her up by her petite ass and she wrapped her legs around me as I carried her off to the bedroom. I fell backwards onto my bed while carrying her so she would end up on top. Now that I had her on top of me, I continued kissing her passionately and then aggressively took off her shirt. I got my first look at those titties in the bra—a somewhat grandma-ish looking bra, but really busty girls tend to have less selection when it comes to the more stylish types. I thought nothing of it and pressed forward. They still looked quite inviting and I wasn’t going to let a bra slow me down. I was rock hard at this point and was going in for the kill.
Next, I reached around her back and unclipped her bra. Something odd happened after I unclipped the bra, though. It was sort of like a dam collapsing due to extreme water pressure from a raging river. I noticed that her tits weren’t looking so good now that the bra strap wasn’t holding everything together. Nevertheless, I proceeded and got her bra completely off. Finally, I was going to reap the benefits of my hard work. With her bra now off, I got my first good look at the titties I’ve been desiring so much…
She had what I unaffectionately call “forward-mounted armpit titties”—with stretch marks…
God dammit, I was so disappointed. It was like opening a Christmas present expecting a new Rolex and getting a lukewarm sack of reindeer shit instead.
I went ahead and fucked her anyway. But man… that shit was such a bummer. I tried not to touch them because they were so weird looking, but due to their size and awkwardness, they would bump into me all of the time. Not to mention, quickly after the bra came off, she squeezed them together and buried them in my face—I felt like I was being waterboarded. Things started off with her on top and her titties were wildly flopping around like a salmon caught in the mouth of a hungry grizzly bear. I closed my eyes and pretended to be really enjoying myself, but I could feel her damn nipples—which were roughly the size of of dice—grazing my chest as she was riding me. Distraught by this, I flipped her onto her back and went at it missionary for a bit, but her titties were sliding to the sides of her body and were now up against each of my arms. With each thrust I gave, her titties would collide with my arms, which were performing the integral task of supporting the rest of my upper body. My resolve was weakening at this point, so I flipped her over and finished off this fucking circus act with doggy style—finally achieving an out of sight, out of mind situation.
At this point, you’re probably wondering what forward-mounted armpit titties are. Forward-mounted armpit titties (FMATs for short) are elongated saggy titties with nipples that point due south. What happens is, what were once normal titties, make the unfortunate transition into a pair of useless, unusable arms mounted to the front of a woman’s chest. They become so droopy, that I speculate when a woman has them and goes without a bra for an extended period of time, she must lift the titties up and apply a generous layer of underarm deodorant onto what is known as the titty-pit crevice fold. This is to prevent copious amounts of sweat and body odor.
For the purposes of this article, I looked this girl up on social media to see what she looks like nowadays. She’s gained quite a bit of weight, and also gained herself a fiancé. The guy looks happy, which is quite perplexing to me. I can just imagine all of his buddies giving him high-fives because he’s marrying a chick with such big knockers. “Man, dude, she’s got a great rack! Lucky bastard!” Ha! If they only fucking knew. Just wait until she pops out a kid in the next couple years. I could be Stevie Wonder lost in the woods on a moonless night and still see how terrifying those things are going to be after kids come into the picture.
After this incident, and haunted by other events similar to this one, I’ve started to become more cognizant of what a woman’s chest looks like when clothed. I’ve developed a pretty good eye when it comes to recognizing oddball titties and have cut my Unfortunate Titty Encounter (UTE) rate down by about 65 percent when using my present system. The approximate 35 percent failure rate I still suffer from is mostly due to optimism. I will often think to myself, “They’re probably really nice in reality, just give it a chance”—I’m a fucking fool.
Anyway, the rest of this article will focus on the different types of weird titties you may be exposed to, and how to recognize them before you find yourself caught in a booby trap like in the above situation.
Spotting The Dreaded Forward-Mounted Armpit Titties
FMAT’s are most common on women that have kids, have lost a bunch of weight, or just have bad titty genetics. I’m guessing the girl in the previously mentioned story just had bad genetics, or they developed very fast when she was in her teens. I don’t believe she had any sort of massive weight loss in her past. I’ve sort of developed the habit of not listening to women when they talk to me, so maybe I missed something. Age is certainly a factor as well, but I don’t fuck old women so we won’t be discussing them. If a woman is over 30, just assume her tits are terrible.
The above story took place in the winter months, so I never had a good shot of cleavage—only sweaters and turtlenecks—but the signs were still there. A key sign of FMAT’s is when a woman’s bra straps dig into her skin—especially on her back. You can see this when a busty girl wears a tight shirt. Her bra is working overtime to keep that sloppy mess all held together. Signs of stretch marks when cleavage is exposed is a damn good sign too. FMAT’s also tend to just “sit lower” when in a bra.
Observe the following four women:
Girl number one is just another one of the millions of classy young ladies we have in this great country. She has an Unfortunate Titty Encounter ratio of 4/10. They do not appear to be fake, and they fill the bra quite well. They will definitely droop a bit once unveiled, but it should be an overall pleasant experience. The problem is you would have to listen to her talk in order to get to them. No fucking thank you.
Number two has an overall classy appearance in this photo, but judging by her tits you’re running about UTE ratio of 5/10. It can go either way with her. They appear to sit quite low and her titties seems to fill the bra, as opposed to the bra supporting the titties.
Number three has a UTE ratio of 7/10. Her body is a little strange-looking overall, but more than anything else, there appears to be significant titty separation. You’re running a fairly high risk with this one. Once the bra is unsnapped, her titties will most likely dump off to the sides.
Number four… Jesus Christ, lady. Her titties are much like the arms of a Tyrannosaurus Rex: fucked up looking, serve no purpose, and attached to a very large carnivore. These are the kind of titties that will make dogs growl, babies cry, and die-hard Christians question their faith in God . She’s obviously an old bat and—due to the fact that she somehow thought it was a good idea to wear that shit—most likely an alcoholic with a penchant for prescription drug abuse. The only reason I put this trashy broad on here is so you can see exactly what number one will look like in 20 years.
Another very strong warning sign is excessive jiggling. All natural titties jiggle, but some more than others.
There’s a normal amount of jiggle:
Then there’s FMAT jiggle:
Pay close attention to these signs, and your UTE risk will be greatly diminished with regards to FMAT’s.
Party Hat Titties
Party hat titties, as you can see from the above picture, are cone-shaped titties. These can be hit or miss. Truthfully, some can actually be pretty nice, but I’ve noticed that size plays a big part in how good they can look. Generally the smaller, the better. “B” cups seem to be the sweet spot with party hat titties. If they’re on the larger side of a “C” cup, they can have really big areolas. This coupled with their pointy shape makes for some weird-ass looking titties.
Looking at the above pictures, the Asian girl is a 70/30 split—70 percent they will be nice, and 30 percent they will fall to the sides and poke one of your eyes out once her bra is off. I would definitely go for it since they appear to be a small “B” cup, and she’s otherwise attractive.
UTE risk is fairly low at 3/10.The white girl has a 60/40 split in the opposite direction. Given that we’re looking at, what is in my estimation, a “C” cup. The chances for droopy party hat titties are a bit on the high side. And while she isn’t fat, she is a bit husky (judging by the waistline). She has the average American girl body (going by a realistic—not obese—definition of average). This was the only picture I could find of her, so it’s hard to gauge one way or the other for sure. Based on this one pic though, I would probably wouldn’t take the chance. With a UTE risk ratio of 6/10, it’s getting a bit risky.
Tubular breasts would fall under this category as well. Google pics of those when you’re not eating. All tubular breasts are 10/10 on the UTE scale.
Tupperware Titties
I’m not a fan of fake tits at all. I thought I was, they look okay, but my opinion changed after the first time I got my hands on a pair. Women’s personalities are phony enough as it is, I don’t want to play with phony body parts too. Not to mention, women that have fake tits are usually complete trash, fucked in the head, and dreadfully insecure.
If you’re in a relationship with a woman under 35 years old and she gets Tupperware titties—she will be dumping you or cheating on you within six months. She doesn’t care that you like her the way she is now, because she doesn’t “feel” comfortable with her body and she’s not “happy.” What she’s really trying to say is, “Not enough guys are giving me attention or trying to fuck me.” Once she gets her bolt-ons, and the thirsty hordes of dudes start giving her more attention… God fucking help you, son. I hope you didn’t pay for them either because some other guy is going to be motorboatin’ all over your money.
If a woman is single and gets Tupperware titties, you can take her sexual partner count from the two years prior to getting implants, and multiply it by six to find out how many guys she will fuck in the two years after she has them. So, if a woman has only slept with three guys in the two years before getting implants, that number will be a minimum of 18 in the two years after. Her small or misshapen titties are the only thing that’s holding her back from being the slut she’s always wanted to be. Once that is rectified, gasoline won’t get pumped as much as her vagina will.
Spotting Tupperware titties isn’t terribly difficult. Lack of mobility is the number one sign that they’re fake. Normal titties jiggle, fake titties don’t. If cleavage is showing, take a good look at the right hand titty at approximately the 1:00 o’clock position. If it looks full, perfectly round, or somewhat hardened—then you know that they’re fake. See the four women below.
Not only does super slut number one look like she would steal your American Express card while you are sleeping, she also has Tupperware titties. By observing the fullness and rock hard look shown at the 1:00 o’clock position, it becomes perfectly clear that she has had some ‘work done’. It also appears that her plastic surgeon accidentally installed a worm on the left titty.
Number two is the same. Perfectly round with no separation and a hardened look.
Number three’s are real. The bikini strap is wrapped around her neck as opposed to over her shoulders. This is giving her titties an almost fake look due to the amount of support they are receiving.
Number four the whore has real tits as well. Looking at the 1:00 o’clock position, the area seems somewhat collapsed. This is a clear indicator of natural boobs. She looks like she would suck a mean dick too.
Another sign a woman has Tupperware titties is that she will ask you if you want to see them. Whores, especially of the attention variety, are more than happy to show off their fake tits to anyone that will look. This includes showing them to both men and women.
In Closing
I should probably feel bad for writing this article, but I don’t. Women tend to be outspoken and quite harsh about making fun of things men can’t control. Things such as height, baldness, hard times with employment, and—as the occasional female commenter here on ROK reminds us—small dicks. I tend to take the high road on these matters, personally. Making fun of women for things out of their control is, well, a womanly thing to do. We’re given what we’re given, and we have to do our best to maximize our potential with what we have.
However, sometimes you just gotta say “screw the high road” and tell it like it is. Men like weird titties about as much as women like balding part-time minimum wage bag boys at the grocery store. The difference is that bag boys wear uniforms and can clearly be seen doing what they do. Spotting bad boobs is an art form, and it’s an art form that all men should know how to do well.
Read More: This Weird Metaphor Brainwashes Men Into Becoming White Knights With Low Standards
Asian women have the loveliest breasts, IMHO.
for example :
Real women have nothing on statues!
She looks like she’s flipping me off, too.
She’s gripping a small whip which you can see draped over her other shoulder. You’re in for a good time.
She’s gripping a bound strand of hair, similar to the one on her left.
This is a Hindu temple most likely. I’ve been to India and these temples are wall-to-wall titties . The statuary is nearly ALL shirtless women with giant knockers that look fake. Was there breast augmentation in ancient times?? Weird cause Indian women are quite modest and are not known to be “big busted”….
It’s from Ankgor Wat in Cambodia, which was an offshoot of Indian culture. It fluctuated between Hinduism and Bhuddism. The breasts are somewhat idealized.
Indian women are also known to have very saggy breasts, if not small ones, anyway.
Dude, ours is the land of the Kamasutra. Even if the real women are moderate, what else would you expect from eroticized art?
Little Southeast Asians got the best everything, if you ask me; I like me a tight fitting glove.
Big titters get fat; no exceptions in the real world of the average man.
Well all the ones I meet have no tits or ass
They hardly have tits lol
Interesting article. Nice choice with the Rob Ryan reaction shot.
I don’t know about anyone else but I hate fake tits
Me too!
Implants destroy women. They turn their breasts into cantalopes and cut off sensation to the nipples. It saddens me to see anyone who has not had a masectomy getting breast implants. Small, petite breasts are quite nice and keep their shape for decades. The female-controlled fashion industry is responsible for pushing this atrocity on impressionable young women.
I actually like big tits. Just not fake ones. I don’t want to feel up plastic balls.
Fake balls… Interesting idea.
Besides they are like tires, that you have to replace every 10 years, and might leak..etc. If she spends some time in the gym I’m happy.
A chick I know just got some fakes this summer.
Honestly, i can’t see the difference as I pass her in the hallway.
Looks like she replaced her average sized tits with average sized fakes…
Senseless.
You fucking homo
This would of course be the top comment because people like to think “I’m above fake-ness in society”
You’ve never seen or felt or massaged your face against a nice pair of fake ones.
Some fake ones are way too fake –
some though, are done so perfectly that they surpass the look and feel of anything but the best natural tits
You probably think steroids make you look like Arnold Schwarzenegger and not Zac Efron
Fake tits are the bomb, and if you watch porn 95% chance your fapping to them
u wot m8
What laff. Any guy who has been to a stripclub has experienced getting fake tits mashed in his face like a pair of beach balls. The natural tit gals hardly ever do that.
Not with crane.
Listen to asdsada, he knows what he’s talking about. There is as much or more variation in breast augmentations as there is in real breasts.
If you can tell they aren’t real, then it’s not good work. The best looking tits I’ve ever seen turned out to be fake. I couldn’t even tell at first – the implant was behind the natural breast tissue and ENHANCED the look – they didn’t poke out around the edges, jiggled appropriately and didn’t feel fake at all. The only tip-off was 1) they were suspiciously prefect and 2) the girl was a little more proud of them than you would expect from a girl that was used to having great boobs.
Sadly, that kind of quality work is rare, especially with very lean and fit girls.
Yeah brah!
Sometimes I see the little scar underneath the breast and I’m blown away. If it weren’t for the scar I’d never have known.
Goodness I miss those nice fake breasts
I like tits that bounce, especially under a tight shirt.
I had an experience about 25 years ago when I was in my early 20s. This girl was gorgeous. Amazing face, hair, body and I though fantastic tits. She was actually a Budweiser Bikini Girl. 22 years old. She was 5′ 5″ and maybe 110lbs with full D/DDs
I was beyond excited to unwrap the package.
When the bra came off the look of shock and horror was self evident. She was laying on her back and I swear it was like her tits were liquid. Her tits actually hit the floor when she was on her back. I have never seen anything like it before or since. Especially on someone so young and otherwise in great shape. She saw my face and said, “Yea, I was born without connective tissue for my boobs (is that even a thing?)” To be fair I never looked it up because that was before WebMD and shit.
It was an instant erection wrecker and I was done. I simply couldn’t get that image out of my mind no matter how hard I tried. Since then, like the author, I have become way way better at spotting bad boobs in advance although I will take a good boob job of saggy tits any way.
God forbid she is human with imperfections.
I think liquid titties goes a bit beyond the typical “imperfections”
Are you fucking kidding me? If I guy had a really small dick I am sure you would be happy to share that fact with all your gfs. What fucking hypocunts.
This would be about the few articles of yours that I actually agreed with. And thanks for charming a new portmanteau, “hypocunts”. Totally appreciate it.
It’s funny how women are portrayed to be fragile and insecure when you have men like this writing blog posts the length of an essay about how he can’t stand the look of some chick’s tits (most likely projecting his inner securities onto the poor chick). All it probably took for this guy to write an essay making fun of a girl’s tits was ONE woman ridiculing his dick size. I bet he was tearing up while writing this, thinking about how his ex girlfriend laughed at his dick size the first time they fucked. Amazing how fragile the male ego is. You better stick to men then buddy, because I’ve got some unfortunate news for you: there are more women that have tits that don’t conform to your ridiculous standards than there are women who do. Another thing I love is how you whiny fuckboys are attempting to justify this blog post by saying “well, women make fun of men’s dick sizes too!!!!1!! :'(“. Go cry your fuckboy tears. I have found more articles and blog posts where male crybabies love to publicly shame and ridicule women for things they can’t control than the other way around (but according to the author, it’s a womanly thing to do :((((!). Grow the fuck up. Stop viewing everything from a dumbfuck frat boy perspective. I’m not saying no woman has ever ridiculed a man for something physical that he can’t control, but this type of behaviour is much more prevalent amongst young men. The comment section seems like a support group for single insecure fuckboys whose only source of happiness is pornhub. Boo fucking hoo I think my ex gf made fun of my bald spot in front of her friends (as if they need her to point it out to them to be aware of it), go eat a pussy and cry about it while you’re at it. But tackle those mommy issues first.
Oh come on. Women are just as bad as men. Bad teeth. Small dick. Bald(ing). Too short. Fat. Whatever. And add to it that women ridicule men for their career as well.
Are you for fucking real? Women get ridiculed for every thing and anything. They could be as close to perfect as a human being can get and there is always some jealous little bitch boy(s) who love to project their insecurities onto them. For instance, regardless of what they choose to do with their lives, they face criticism. If they choose to be a housewife, they were too stupid, lazy, and dependent on a man to go out and build a career. If they choose to work, they are more often subjected to criticism regarding their competence than a man ever is. Women are not nearly as critical about men as men are about women, and that is a straight up fact. Men are so fucking petty and jealous it hurts. Centuries of gender oppression will tell any idiot that. God forbid if a woman is outspoken when it comes to criticizing a man. Poor, fragile baby :'( Can’t handle getting criticized? Welcome to a woman’s world, bitch boy! Also a lot of the things you listed that men get criticized for, women also get criticized for- and more often too! (bad teeth, fat? Did you know women can bald too due to hormones? Did you know that women get criticized for how their fucking vagina looks all the time? Are you aware of these things or have you been living under a rock?).
Why the vitriol?
I have no issue with how women criticize men. I am simply making the point that it is a lot more even than you represent. Clearly you have some personal issues (hence your incongruous level of hostility).
I have never in my life (and I am nearly 50) heard a man make fun of how a woman’s vagina looks. Not saying it never happens but I have heard a woman at a party (that her husband was also at) tell anyone that would listen how small her husband’s dick was.
Sounds like you need some therapy. Just sayin…
Why not? Have you not seen the comments below? The way these fucks with the brains of a 12 year old speak is just as repulsive and yet you choose to call me out on it? Too many swear words for ya? Earlier on you sung a different tune and spoke just like I did in my post. Where the fuck are your therapy sessions, hypocunt? Clearly you aren’t aware of the meme that is circulating the internet ridiculing the way female vaginas look (proof: http://9gag.com/gag/aRPXbzB/two-types-of-women), which has gotten hundreds of thousands of likes, favorites, and so on on various social media sites? Females are no stranger to the topics of criticism you listed. Wow, you heard one women speak of how small her husband’s dick was. Did that make you insecure about yours? Women are criticized and judged on the daily and keep quiet about it way too often. A man gets criticized once and suddenly the world is ending and he needs to write a hate fuelled blog post (the size of an essay) about it. I’m sick of no one calling these fratboy- like morons out for their hypocrisy and idiocy. Women are made to be insecure by shitty things like this for plenty more things they cannot control than men are. I also have a hard time believing somebody who is almost 50 is immature enough to make a comment like that on a frat boy post like this. Do you not have a wife? Daughters? Even if you didn’t it’s just fucking decency to keep your sexual experiences between you and the person you’re fucking. Why do you have to sink to this level simply because you heard one woman criticizing a man’s dick size and suddenly have this impression that the vast majority of women do that? It’s disgusting to know that someone my dad’s age still acts like a 22 year old college douche.
I agree that many of the men in the Manosphere are insanely angry. They are equally idiots. I don’t see why you see matching their immaturity with your own furthers the conversation.
Uh you seem to forget that you also matched their immaturity above? “Hypocunt” much? At least I have an excuse and am not close to nearly 50 years old. And anyway at least I’m not writing a fucking blog post about a guy I fucked. You have to be on a whole new level of immature to do that. Like 50 year old geezer trying really hard to relive his golden years as a college kid fucking immature, or 22 year old frat boy asshole who wrote this post fucking immature. Besides it’s the internet, who the fuck really cares.
I was referring to your hostility. Anger management classes might be a good use of funds. lol
You know what would be a good use of your funds? Investing in your retirement plan
Thanks for the tip but I already have that covered. 🙂
Yeah and now the next step would be to get off the fucking internet, accept the fact that you are an old fucking geezer with no life ahead of him, and stop arguing with somebody who could be your daughter
You are hilarious (well not actually).
I would love to know how old you ACTUALLY are and what you ACTUALLY look like. I am guess a 45 yo, balding, cat owning man-hater with severe anger management issues.
You have seen what I look like…I bet you are a TRAIN WRECK.
Best of luck to you…you are REALLY going to need it.
YA YOU GOT ME. You discovered my secret. I am everything you said I was. I’m so hurt :'( Stop trying to project your insecurities onto me, you’re exactly like the bitch boy who wrote the blog post, you 45 y old, balding, dog owning women-hater. And where the fuck have I seen what you look like you delusional fuck? Forget to take donepezil today? You’re a 50 year old arguing with an 18 year old in the comment section of a blog post about some chick’s tits. Call it out for what it is, instead of deluding yourself like most fuckboys do to make them feel better about themselves. Welcome to a new low! 🙂
Because my pic in on my blog which you claimed to have read.
You do have the maturity (or lack there of) of an teenage girl I will give you that much. As to what you look like…well it is much more likely you looked like something the cat dragged in.
And let’s be honest…if anyone is highly medicated it would be you. 🙂
Have a great weekend. Try not to kill any small animals in a fit of rage.
What blog? I never claimed to have read anything. Get over your fucking self lmao (and take some donepezil). And yeah, the 50 year old fucking loser who comments about his college sexual experiences on a post targeting 22 year old frat boys is calling me immature. Ha! Go parent your kids and slave away the rest of your life working the 9 to 5
M-E-D-I-C-A-T-I-O-N
Don’t forget to take it.
Don’t forget to take yours you fucking creep, in fact make sure to overdose on it! 🙂 Hey, it’s not like you’ve contributed anything or even have the potential anymore to contribute anything to the world… the sooner, the better! <3
gtfo woman
The door is that way —->
You mean like men who are shy or lack a little self confidence, or who are ‘creepy’ ie starting a conversation with a woman who doesn’t find him attractive, or who are short ? God forbid he is human with imperfections………
Awww 🙁 Poor bby! How dare women prey upon a shy boy! That’s what women do ya know, prey upon vulnerable little flowers. How dare they! Evil women! I have never in my experience as a female heard a woman ridicule a guy solely for being shy. I don’t know where you are getting that petty shit from. And yeah, how dare a woman turn down some persistent fuck who won’t take a hint about her lack of interest and move on. How dare women not be interested! How dare women criticize him for not leaving chicks alone when they clearly don’t give a fuck about him. He is an imperfect human! Woman HAVE to give him a chance. Last time I checked that’s something HE CAN CONTROL. Do you realize how many things women are criticized for (that they often cannot control) in comparison to men? And do you realize that for centuries women have just silently dealt with it? Suddenly the tables start to turn and you dumbfucks can’t handle it in the slightest. LMAO you fucking idiots kill me with your bullshit.
doc I don’t like shit >you are insecure>what>insecure>oh sad me
This is important stuff. You’re doing God’s work, ROK.
LOL, seconded. We need more articles like this to break from the more serious ones at times. The boob jiggle is just what the doctor prescribed.
Indeed. Another good one, AV8R. I truly enjoy a taller, fit woman with a nice set and an ass to balance everything out.
I shake my head when I see a girl with a small frame carrying big tits and no ass. It screams “somebody finally pay attention to me”.
The problem with breasts are that if you like the ta tas to be a bit bodacious, the frame carrying them is going to be fat. The “skinny girl big boobs” thing is only possible with implants.
It’s said in France that a good breast will fill a champagne glass. In Brooklyn a good breast can clog a toilet.
Actually, there are natural supplements women can take that will make their tits grow. Keep in mind this takes a very long time, so most women just get implants, quick and easy.
Uncle Rico?
He he, good call. I remember him selling those “bust enhancement” supplements. And that scene, too. “She” had a voice like a gay gnome. Ugh!
“In Brooklyn a good breast can clog a toilet”
Yeah I hate that when that happens.
This article and the commentaries are making my day!
Maybe in ‘Merica.
Elsewhere in the world, you can actually find rail-thin chicks with real (not fake) C- and D-cup boobs.
Ask me how I know (won’t date remotely chubby girls, or small-breasted girls, or fake-breasted ones).
No you won’t they mostly fake fake breasts.
Not true man. I have had several skinny girls with big natural tits. My friends swore they were fake but they weren’t…
Great article, very informative. This is Introduction To Tit Aesthetics 101.
“Number four… Jesus Christ, lady. Her titties are much like the arms of a Tyrannosaurus Rex: fucked up looking, serve no purpose, and attached to a very large carnivore. These are the kind of titties that will make dogs growl, babies cry, and die-hard Christians question their faith in God . She’s obviously an old bat and—due to the fact that she somehow thought it was a good idea to wear that shit—most likely an alcoholic with a penchant for prescription drug abuse. The only reason I put this trashy broad on here is so you can see exactly what number one will look like in 20 years.”
Fuckin brilliant!
These are all good points. Following these observations can reduce the chances of ending up pulling the shirt off of a chick with a case of cucumber tits syndrome; those longated, droppy tits with haggis ugly nipples. Shit man, it can kill everything, even if the chick has a pretty cute face. Don’t let this happen to you, ever.
Crazy how looking at those sad sacks can drive your dick in the dirt regardless of the rest of her body. I’m on the fence with fake tits but I have to say I’ve been with 1 girl that had them and she looked awesome.
Best to assume any women that have had kids have breasts like bags of ricotta cheese. Kids destroy those puppies. They can get lifts/implants but beyond that, assume the worst. I’ve never been one for the huge cans-it doesn’t take long for gravity to start ruining those too. By the time girls with huge naturals are 30, they’ll look like melting butter.
Nope. It’s gravity, losing control of weight and genetics that makes breasts sag like Madonna’s smile.
Not always true. Thankfully, having tiny boobs before kids, can mean they look good after kids.
I can only speak from my own experiences. Of course, nothing is true 100% of the time. I welcome the sight of boobs that have improved after kids, just haven’t seen them yet.
Lol, they’re out there.
I’ve never been a boob man. Big boobs only look good with a proportionate waist hip ratio to boot on a woman.
I find big boobs on a woman who has narrow hips very off-putting. It’s like looking at a skinny male body with man boobs.
I’ve always been an ass man. And the only position (or positions) I use normally are rear entry or variations of rear entry. I only do missionary and cowgirl if she really has good titties. If she’s flat chested or small boobed, I’m going into her from behind.
The weirdest boobs I’ve encountered have so far been with one romanian chick and the one, a filipina.
Romanian girls tend to have ample bosoms. The romanian I had sex with had however gotten silicone boob implants – she was a skinny model in her early 20s. She also kinda looked like a Pamela Anderson look alike. I got fed up so I turned her around and banged her doggy style. Problem was that she had an average ass. Her butt bone kept hitting my groin as I railed her. I didn’t repeat her again.
The filipina had natural jugs. She was however a real whore in bed. We started out in the cowgirl position, during which she rhythmically squatted up and down on me, as we fucked. Her boobs were rolling all over – like your description of live salmon in a bear’s mouth – so I finally turned her over, and railed her anally in the doggy position.
The same problem of boobs can affect a man who has an ass fetish. I’ve been fooled by girls who’ve worn butt enhancers in their trousers to give it a tight and bigger look. Like this recent EE girl I was dating. She had an average ass when I pulled down her panties. Sometimes, I’ve even found cellulite on a curvy ass.
I’ve actually gotten used to being disappointed with women’s bodies now. After all, today’s world is a world of synthetic women – where emotions are themselves fabricated by women. Fake appearances and fake bodies are nothing compared to fake emotions. Women today are masters at all these.
Just to add, among all the chicks in the pics, I’d probably bang No.4 – the Red head whore, and the athlete whose boobs are jiggling.
Cosmo Kramer is that you?
“Fake appearances and fake bodies are nothing compared to fake emotions. Women today are masters at all these.”
Agree. I see too many of these ‘fake’ women and I just shake my head. You can tell they are still working on many issues in their head because the ‘outside’ still needs work. That look on a woman gives it away.
“So, I get this girl to go out with me and it turns out she was pretty conservative. I think she had only fucked about 11 guys by the time I got to her (she was in her mid 20′s).”
lolwut? That’s not “pretty conservative”, that’s a slut. I’m 17 and I’m not going to marry any woman that even had a kiss (unless it was some experiments with a cousin on childhood or something) with someone else before (glad I live in a country where that’s possible).
Sarcasm, kiddo.
I think he just meant pretty conservative for the average American whore.
Figure the average girl bones from 17 onward, so if she hits 25 and has only taken 11 schlongs that’s less than 2 per year.
Sadly, that’s “pretty conservative” here.
That’s why you didn’t get the joke…because you’re 17.
No worries. I’m learning new things every day as well.
Actually in another thread, one the author hacked his girlfriend’s facebook and saw he was the 13th guy she fucked was him, there were responses saying that’s really not much. How can I then know if it’s sarcasm or not when some people really think 13 aren’t that much, let alone 11?
Would you buy a car that’s had 11 previous owners? 5? 3? Me, I don’t buy a car that has had more than 1 previous owner. And even then, I make sure it’s in good condition and hasn’t been to the dragstrip (if I may stretch the analogy a bit).
Exactly. Check what I wrote in the original post.
Great point, carfucker.
Well, good luck with that….almost every female I know (& I know hundreds of them) have all had sex with at a bare minimum a few dozen men, and usually at least 1 girl, if not many (it tends to be a college “experimental” thing). The average is somewhere around 70-100 by early to mid-20’s, it doesn’t get excessive until you into the multiple triple digits. So pretty sure you’re going to be waiting forever if you think you are ever going to find a legitimate “conservative” girl that is actually a virgin or anywhere near virgin adjacent. I went to a high school of over 1,000 kids per graduating class (and this was 10 years ago at that, and things have only gotten worse since then) and I knew every single person in my class at least in a small way and everyone knew everything about each others personal lives, and let me tell you, I know first hand less than a dozen of the girls I graduated with graduated as virgins, and almost all of the people from my high school went to 1 of 2 big name universities and the second those virgins got to college and realized there wasn’t any parental rules anymore and they could get almost any guy they wanted and had a thousand options, they became even bigger sluts than the girls in high school that slept around. I haven’t known a single virgin in at least 8 years, and we’re even talking about some of the most undesirable prospects out there, and even they got laid. So I’d suggest if you are not here to learn the tips the author is providing, seeing as how you clearly want a perfect, untouched, obedient wife, (which will never happen) maybe you should start reading blogs more suited to your beta needs, or yet another one of those bible thumping “save the chastity belts” blogs we are sadly in no shortage of these days. You sir are not on the right website for what you are looking for.
And by the way, what fucked up backwoods place do you come from that people “experiment” with their cousins. That’s just disgusting…did you mack on your sisters too? Or are you still trying to bang them even now? What kind of even halfway respectable or conservation person would even think about hooking up with their family. ^^^future child molester right there^^^ fuckin’ hill-jack back country sicko!
Another dead giveaway for Tupperware titties: identical breasts. Human bodies are almost never perfectly symmetrical. Breasts aren’t supposed to look like mirror images of one another, boys. The overwhelming majority of women have one breast which is slightly smaller than the other, has a slightly different shape, sags a little lower, different aureola/nipple sizes/shapes… you get the idea.
Perfection is found in little girls.
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I LIKE WOMEN! I found a very poor correlation between those with nearly perfect breast to being really good at whatever. If you think it is all about the boobies, you’ve been staring at pornography too long. The idea of having another mind involved in the bedroom probably scares most of this generation’s boys. They’ve have had an uninterrupted stream of pornography available for their entire lives and have not fully developed the interactive part of the act(s).
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Young men, if you want the best experience, find a really smart one who is acceptable looking and empathetic. You’ll throw rocks and sneers at the supermodel types for the rest of your lives once you’ve really ‘had’ (as opposed to consummated with) a woman.
The smart one who is acceptable looking and empathetic will be smart enough to get you to put all your money in joint accounts, and empathetic enough to listen closely to how much trouble you are having at work. “Stressful day? Tell me about it.”
The second she decides that the well is going to run dry, she will empty the accounts and be gone. God help you if you have given her a kid (or someone else has).
The smart, empathetic ones are better at this game than you. That’s why sensible men strictly confine themselves to whores – the dumber, the better.
Well, I have to admit I was suckered in by the one you’re describing. She even got me to pay for Law School while putting my own education on hold.
************
As I recovered from that experience, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I really wanted. I developed a checklist. At the first failed check, or the first sign of any looney-tunes, I was outta there. Then with this checklist in mind, I set out to have as many first dates as possible. Often it was just a cup of coffee or a drink. There were about 200 first dates. There were 10 second dates. And then there was my wife.
************
I think you can do better than a whore. Admittedly it is a lot of damned work to find a lady worthy of marriage. I wanted to have my own family and to raise my children in the best environment possible. There was powerful motivation for me to put in the effort. My oldest goes to college next May. I still have 4 years of Boy Scouts and working on old cars with my youngest.
Oh, Shep, Shep, Shep. You admit to being suckered, and yet you are so eager to be suckered again. Oh hang on – you are married now? To another one? And you have 4 years until her youngest is successfully launched?
Well then again, maybe you have bagged the unicorn. It happens.
Your attitude did not develop in the absence of a good suckering.
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“our youngest”
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I did bag a unicorn. She did not wander into my sights, I sought her out. It was not by accident, and it would never have happened without the mental preparation.
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I did not let pain prevent me from living a constructive life. You’re still young, and there is still hope for you, if you want it.
One time. . . I got the bra undone and they were like empty plastic grocery bags. Scarred for life.
Boobs were made to feed babies. Infants don’t care if they are weird looking, just as long as they function.
Yeah they don’t but I do. They’re young, they’ll understand with time
man…this shit is filled with quotables, I was laughin for real when I read this. good shit.
I love RoK clickbait, although I doubt the brilliance of the eating disorder article will ever be matched.
nah man we just gotta put that one in the hall of fame, but this one is low key legendary
I think it needs to be applauded just for the fact that men can come here and actually have these types of conversations.
It used to be common place but these ‘environments’ are shrinking everyday because of “feminists”. Women are always “hurt” by things that they hear (even when it’s a private conversation).
Here is an oldie but a goodie for women: mind your fucking business.
Yes. Agreed tenfold. I usually try to take that “high road” alluded to at the end here, but AV8R you were on an absolute fucking roll with hilarious lines in this from beginning to end — I couldn’t help laughing all the way through. Really impressive range to go from something as serious as that US Navy piece to these humorous ones, too. Well done, sir.
Wasn’t there a study saying that women should not wear bras, on the basis that the muscle tissue needs gravity to remain healthy and not end up atrophied by having constant support?
Tits do not have muscles.
Droopy tits is God’s way of telling the rest of the tribe that a woman is a multiple mom. Check out any photo of naked native people. That’s what humans actually look like.
Bras defeat the genetic programming, cheat nature. Without them, the warning to not bang single moms becomes completely unnecessary.
Patricia Bragg of Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar fame claims that she has nice round breasts in her 80s because she never wore bras.
But I guess we need AV8R to check her out to find the truth!
Small n perky’s for me. A-B cup. I like breasts, not udders.
For me the perfect sized breasts are on UK Glam model Lucy Pinder. Those things are real, big, and beautiful!
I’ve yet to encounter a single picture of her that’s not heavily airbrushed/doctored.
Good advice Sky Captain. This will certainly be a referential point for men when determining the tit factor into their choice of female selection. Although I can think of a few categories you left out, namely camel hump tits and orangutan tits.
I was going to post a comment then I realized there are some cases in which no words can do justice…..
Why Stack? Why?
First, to my friends who love them some bitties: it’s the sign of a dominant male. Men who find women with larger breasts attractive are naturally more apt to be the stronger of the species and therefore will have offspring that will be the future leaders and warriors of the tribe. Now, don’t get ahead of yourselves with claiming
“oneitis”. In fact, if any man’s desire to screw as many women as possible, it is a evolutionary derivative of an alpha male’s nature to breed and spread his seed. With larger breasts (and wider hips), a women conveys that she will not only help provide stronger offspring, but her ample mammaries will create stronger children. Ask any (current or former) football player. They will easily tell you about “breeders” – women with large breast, wider hips, and usually a little taller. They are the perfect specimen for strong, healthy future players.
Maybe I’m alone, but with my dealing with “ample” women, they are often more caring, womanly (not in the feminist BS term), and adept to household needs (cooking, cleaning the nest, etc). The problem is that finding naturally “gifted” women is already rare, then one who has a decent face, let alone a gorgeous one, is hard to next to impossible, and finally add a cool personality…it’s a unicorn. If you’ve found such a rare being, congrats, but I don’t believe you without a pic.
I can say I’ve found some unicorns in the most unlikely of places – the (mostly white) suburbs of Detroit. I know it sounds insane. But Midwestern women are likely to have natural bigguns, but they’re also more likely to blow up like balloons after a
while. But Detroit girls…it’s a paradox. Nice, caring as hell, D+ cups are so
plentiful…the problem is that it’s Detroit.
Does she have one or more kids? Then she has limp titties. Just another reason not to get mixed up with a single mother.
One good point and many other good reasons on ‘why not to get involved with a single mother’.
I remember an old Sci Fi flick The Warrior and the Sorcereress where there was this alien chick with FOUR TITTIES. Two were above and another set right below, set like a quadaddle. I said YEOW – I could slide ride her cross ways or up and down.
You wanna see a real good natural rack? Google Devin Brugman.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mbl26zKY5uo/U8c0wAI4ooI/AAAAAAAAWbg/Jl4Ty5J671M/s1600/Devin-Brugman-White-Hot-Bikini-on-Miami-Beach-08-435×580.jpg
>I get this girl to go out with me and it turns out she was pretty conservative. I think she had only fucked about 11 guys by the time I got to her (she was in her mid 20′s)
You fucking what m8. That’s toilet store whore material is this guy a troll?
I’d consider it conservative compared to a lot of the chicks I’ve seen.
A girl who’s 22 and has less than 30 is always a good sign
You need to expand your circle of friends. You hang out with human trash.
Prefer small breasts (but above an a-cup). I only fucked one chick with DD’s and they were under her armpits when she lay on her back. Enough said. But, hey, I go for chicks with nice butts as opposed to nice tits.
Oh yeah, I have a theory, need input to see if I’m right: I have a big dick (integral to the story), so I often find I can only go halfway in with about half the chicks I fuck, so naturally tried to find a pattern. To the conclusion: chicks with big tits have bigger vaginas. Note: not saying looser, just deeper.
It is in legend that the Nephelem who were giants in ancient scripture and who cross bred with human females would establish secretive social ‘clubs’ of preselected cherry picked women to breed by. A two foot dick would kill an unprepared woman, so in the club rituals, the women would practice ‘exercises’ to prepare them to ‘receive the giants’.
Where did you read this in?
A guest on the old Art Bell show from 1996 or ’97. Maybe David Icke, Paghlini or Zach Sitchin. It’s in the archives
Ah okay. I’m pretty into pre-historic antediluvian myths and legends. Its an avid interest of mine. Funny guys those giants.
“Women’s personalities are phony enough as it is, I don’t want to play with phony body parts too.” good point
You are truly doing the lords work, sir.
Wow somewhere out there I got a LOT of shitty parents to thank for all these stupid bimbos.
Laughed my ass off.
The funniest post on ROK so far.
Interesting article! Fun, too. Enjoyed it.
It’s relevant to me too: A woman in our building at work took a liking to me, but she’s a single mom.
I caught a peek or two down her shirt and right away could tell if not for her bra, she would have a case of saggy breasts when the clothes come off. It’s easy to tell sometimes.
Dang it. Oh well, guess I’ll pass.
You could always just leave her blouse on and do her from behind!
This is a great article. Fake tits are pretty easy to spot but the fucked up flapjack kind can be tough, especially with all the tricks bras provide. A man ought to know these ‘tells’ for shitty titties lest he waste his time gaming a bitch.
AV8R, You are the funniest writer on ROK. Thank you again for another great, funny article!
Like you said, women like to say that everybody on this site has small dicks. It’s only appropriate that we discuss their body parts as well.
Glad you enjoyed the piece David. Thank you.
Hilarious article, from start to finish.
Fake boobs are gross. Why not just screw a fleshlight if you want something artificial but ideally designed? Wasn’t surprised to see you are a pilot who spends a lot of time OUTSIDE the US. Great article, look forward to more!
AV8R, This is golden. keep it up!
You must be one obsessed, sad guy,,,
An exactly how are you enlightening people by not being obsessive. You think your generic “one obsessed, sad guy,” bites. It only makes you look butthurt.
The party hat tits are often caused by ill-fitting bras. If you like a woman who dresses well, that could be a dealbreaker, but you can’t always judge from the outward appearance.
I’m kinda curious like do guys really just want large boobs? I’m a B cup and I’m wondering if guys prefer fake DDs or just a B?
I like b cup boobs, fake dd are turn off for me
“So, I get this girl to go out with me….” I think, with this sentence, you unwittingly revealed yourself here, AV8R! If you truly were the sexual conquistador you always lie about being, you wouldn’t have to “get” any girl to go out with you. Oopsie! Guess it’s good that people like me who pay attention to details can remind you that your facade is slipping a bit. 😉
The article was okay, but for some reason I hope you die in a plane crash.
The creator of this blog, writer of this article, whatever, is a retarded piece of shit. East Asian women are not flat-chested. White women, in general, well mostly, have fake breasts. All the white girls in these pics have fake tits.
How do you expect women to not be insecure about their bodies and breasts with articles like this?
This article had me in tears of laughter… “I felt like I was being waterboarded” AV8R you’re my favorite author on this site!
Rot in hell you sexist piece of shit!
I find the extent to which boys can be hypocrites fucking hilarious. All these boys in the comments section love to talk about how women these days are whores for not staying virgins until marriage. What a fucking joke. These are the same boys pressuring women to sleep with them on the first date, and the same boys who have fucked more women than they can count on their two hands. You either withstand the pressure and have these assholes be dissapointed or you give in and you become a whore. Do you want sex, or not? Fuck your wishy washy bullshit. Now to address this blog post that I skimmed through (wasn’t worth a full read). It’s funny how women are portrayed to be fragile and insecure when you have men like this writing blog posts the length of an essay about how he can’t stand the look of some chick’s tits (most likely projecting his insecurities onto the poor chick). All it probably took for this guy to write an essay making fun of a girl’s tits was ONE woman ridiculing his dick size. I bet he was tearing up while writing this, thinking about how his ex girlfriend laughed at his dick size the first time they fucked. Amazing how fragile the male ego is. You better stick to men then buddy, because I’ve got some unfortunate news for you: there are more women that have tits that don’t conform to your standards than there are women who do. Another thing I love is how you whiny fuckboys are attempting to justify this blog post by saying “well, women make fun of men’s dick sizes too!!!!1!! :'(“. Go cry your fuckboy tears. I have found more articles and blog posts where male crybabies love to publicly shame and ridicule women for things they can’t control than the other way around. Grow the fuck up. Stop viewing everything from a dumbfuck frat boy perspective. I’m not saying no woman has ever ridiculed a man for something physical that he can’t control, but this type of behaviour is much more prevalent amongst men. The comment section seems like a support group for single insecure fuckboys whose only source of happiness is pornhub, too fucking funny (and incredibly sad). Go eat a pussy and cry about it while you’re at it.
This is disgusting. Fair enough, you don’t have to like all tits, but to write this…you disgust me.
I wish there was some way to tell who was an MRA just by looking…(who wants to even have a 2-second conversation with one of you? I know I’m posting, but note I said conversation; I will not be coming back to read replies).
It’s men who shame other men for small dicks. If men with small dicks get over this and learn how to use their hands and mouths many of their lovers would have no problem.
Furthermore, dicks are utilitarian. You know? They have a function in sex. Tits are secondary (not primary) sexual organs. They are not necessary for sexual intercourse.
And lastly, women are human beings.
Why am I even bothering to post this here? I have the most mixed feelings on a site like this…I hope you all die, and simultaneously feel immensely sorry for you.
Most men on this site aren’t even MRAs. Learn the difference between MRAs and PUAs, as a lot of the times they don’t even like each other.
Oh that’s such a cute lil attempt at bravado. Aww *cheek pinch* but real talk, I’m beginning to wonder if you’ve ever felt the touch of a woman. This shit is absolutely fucking priceless lol! I absolutely love that you’re pinning a bunch of numbers onto absurd, random, bullshitty nonsense in order to make sense of your own feelings of inadequacy when met with a situation that you can’t immediately classify. It’s funny, but only in the way that watching someone stick their hand into a mouse trap to see if it snaps is funny. You’re basically just throwing shit at the wall and hoping that it sticks😂😂. This blog is like a fucking roadway accident–after you click on this link, you just can’t look away. The numbers and terms become wackier and less sensible as the post progresses and the hyperbole goes from basically funny to completely fucking absurd🙄😝. As someone who’s a pretty damned good judge of titties, you’ve got a lot to learn, little padwan. This is a cute attempt and everything though and like…better luck with your future titty experiences and what not. I’m sure you’ll get the experience you’re lacking at some point, though I can’t guarantee that any truly hot women will actually fuck you since we can do a lot better on the whole than some kid whose insecurity is so crippling that he goes around shouting out into the void of circle jerking red pill dipshits about how awful women are and how it’s their fault that his sexual experience isn’t up to par. I mean, just speaking for myself, I personally likely wouldn’t even make eye contact with you if confronted with your hot mess in public. Most women of any level of real sexiness/awesomeness would pretend not to see you in the hopes that your short attention span, self esteem issues and crippling insecurity led you to hit on the low hanging fruit a couple of bar stools over…which is likely how you found yourself in this conundrum in the first place…but what do you care what a woman has to say? I mean you did say earlier that what women say and think is of little to no consequence for you and that you prefer to tune them out (trust me, after reading this long winded, buffoonish caricature of ignorant misogyny, we can pretty much agree that neither of us would have any interest whatsoever in what the other has to say), so you probably haven’t even made it this far into my post…right…(oh wait, that’s you looking at this and thinking ‘fuck, this bitch just dropped some knowledge on me and that shit had some heft’, isn’t it)?😂😂😂 And since that is the case, B T dubs, we women don’t mess with dudes with saggy balls, we don’t mess with dudes who don’t clean themselves up and manscape their shit, we don’t mess with skinny, scrawny dudes, dudes covered in body hair, dudes with body pimples, huge guts, short dudes, dudes with absurdly short, absurdly long or disgustingly shaped penises and we most certainly don’t mess with dudes with no class or style, particularly ones who spray themselves up with axe body spray (or whatever the nearest pinesol floor cleaner smelling shit is that passes for the Walmart approximation of “class” that can be found at eye level in the fucking supermarket), so before you go around acting like you’re the deciding vote in your sexual interactions or worse yet regarding women’s bodies and their private parts which frankly don’t concern you and likely never will lol, let me just go ahead and stop you there. You’re not. You’re picking up the scraps that better men have dropped, so rather than judging women in such an ignorant way, why not (gasp) worry about taking pride in your own appearance and making yourself worth something in the sexual market, because sweetie, I can tell exactly what kind of a guy you are and exactly where you stand smv wise and let me tell you something: you’re not the consumer, you’re the goods. You’re the bruised fruit at Aldi, not the bespoke suit on Seville Row.
Hello I am an undergraduate psychology student and I am currently conducting research into the causes of misogyny. I would be very interested to interview you in regards to any traumatic or embarrassing experiences you have encountered which have caused you to become a man who writes articles such as this, as well as the extent of the rejection from women which you have experienced also. I am also interested in your use of porn which is clearly quite high. If there are any other men (or women) who have gone through any of this please also feel free to reply to this. Thank you.
Talks about how much he hates saggy and small tits but if a girl has fake tits means she’s insecure af and she’ll cheat on you .
Well said……
Heh… okay, all the snarkiness and sexist one-liners aside, there are a few real errors in here, particularly about implants. The reason so many people have a bad impression of implants (how they look and how they feel), is that so many women go for really unnatural “corrective” surgery. I can tell you from personal experience that if the surgeon is good and the woman doesn’t try to go for a hideous amount of “upsizing”, they can come out perfectly natural, with the right shape, some bounce, and even a little asymmetry. They will look (and feel!) not like hard “fakes”, but just like younger, firmer boobs.
I agree with you that a young woman in her 20s or 30s, who has no kids, going for a boob job is a bad sign. It reeks of self-esteem problems or somebody who wants to have Hollywood porn star boobs. If, however, she has always had the chest of a 12 year old boy, has been picked on for it her whole life, and just wants a modest “B” cup, then I say good for her. If she’s a woman in her 40s who is done having kids and just wants to get back the breasts she had when she was 25 – note: just lift them and give them back some body, not try for 4 cup sizes bigger! – then good for her.
You’d be surprised. Most women with implants are way under the radar. You’d never know. It’s the ones that stand out, like the photos you used in examples in this article, that you have to beware of.
Been there played with them and they;re obvious once you squeeze a little To each his own but Id much rather play with real ones and feel sorry so many women feel pressured by men to have surgery in order to be desirable. Most women that are flat simply need a little weight but that’s a bad thing with so many judgmental guys nowadays. My opinion only but it seems many men want that very skinny boyish look. Hmm…..
I don’t like fake ones. I do however like Big ones, little ones, fat nippled ones, tubular ones, saggy ones, perky ones, floppy ones, bouncy ones, soft ones, wide ones, narrow ones, full ones, empty ones, stretch marked ones, smooth ones, uneven ones, symmetrical ones, ugly ones, perfect ones, banana tits, sausage tits, torpedo tits, pancake tits, pear tits, all tits except fake tits, I just like tits damnit!