Over the past few weeks I have written extensively about the art of day game—that is, approaching and attracting women during the day, far away from the bars and clubs where chodes frequently try their luck and fail. One considerable benefit of day game is that it offers a relatively even playing field in that a guy can approach a beautiful girl going about her business without having to pay a cover charge, buy expensive drinks or deal with cock blocks and other nonsense.
Another great thing about day game is that it allows the canny player the opportunity to take girls on mini “dates” there and then without having to go through the rigamarole of texting to set up the meet. Learning to initiate instant dates is a vital day game skill: once mastered, it will enable you to build up sufficient rapport to move rapidly forward through the seduction process.
What Is An Instant Date?
An instant date is what is says on the tin—it’s when you meet a girl and take her on a “date” there and then. Simple, right? Yes, but as with many concepts related to meeting women, it can at first be counter-intuitive for men. We have been socially conditioned to assume that the “right” procedure is an exchange of contact details and then a parting of ways, followed by the arrangement of a date over text or social media some time later. Instant dates fly in the face of this, and can seem like an intimidating prospect, or even an impossibility, before you try it out for yourself.
Of course, most of the time you will be taking girls’ phone numbers and contacting them by text later—this is how probably 80% of daytime pulls happen. After all, if you meet a girl on the train in the morning before work then you probably won’t have the luxury of being able to go for coffee with her there and then. But if the circumstances and vibe are right then an instant date could really help you to move things to the next level.
The Benefits And Pitfalls Of Instant Dates
Say you use the tips in Roosh’s book Day Bang to open a cute girl in the street. After having asked her where the pet shop is, rambled for a while and taken care to drop in intriguing big and small bait, then hopefully she will have relaxed, become receptive to talking to you and begun to show signs of interest. At this point you could run Galnuc, take her phone number, and walk on.
Another option is to take her on an instant date, perhaps for a coffee at a nearby cafe. In my experience, the benefit of doing this is simple—it will help to solidify the encounter in the girls mind, making it more “real.” Make no mistake, guys can and do get laid from fizzy, two minute encounters on the street where telephone numbers are exchanged and contact is resumed later. But the danger here is that after the “high” of being approached has subsided for the girl, she will realize that actually she knows very little about the guy she has just entrusted with her cellphone number. This can trigger skepticism (“He’s probably a player who does this all the time”) or even fear (“he’s a complete stranger”), making it unlikely that she will respond when you contact her.
A well-executed instant date can alleviate these fears. Talking to her for longer also allows you to show more of your personality and to make a stronger impression. Also, given how unusual instant dates are, it will also communicate confidence and social savvy.
However, instant dates are not without their pitfalls. If you are not a good conversationalist then there’s a danger that the instant date could fall flat as you run out of stream, making things awkward. There is also something to be said for the archetype of the “sexy stranger” who sweeps in, obtains her phone number and then disappears. If you fail to maintain some mystery and attraction over your latte then you may find yourself being dumped in the friends box. After all, rapport is a tricky part of seduction—you need a bit, enough to ensure she knows you’re not a serial killer and that you “get on”, at least superficially. But too much rapport before attraction is confirmed merely leads to tepid feelings of friendship.
How To Initiate An Instant Date
Getting a girl to go on an instant date with you is actually not that difficult, provided your approach and chat has gone well and she doesn’t have to be somewhere in the next half hour or so.
Hopefully you will have internalised and followed Roosh’s advice from Day Bang, and so now you have a girl standing in front of you who likes you. At this point you’re ready to pull an instant date. Here’s how you do it. First of all, you should always remember to put in a false time constraint up front—after all, you don’t want her to think that you may intend to monopolize her whole day at this stage. I usually say something like this:
“Listen, I’ve only got twenty minutes before my next meeting…”
[That way it sounds casual and not too binding.]
“…But I was going to grab a coffee at Barista Heaven down the street. You should come.”
The idea is to make the proposition sound very casual, but at the same time you should ensure you sound gently commanding. What I mean is, better to say “you should come” or “come with me” rather than asking her with a weak “would you like to come with me.”
If you can make the instant date sound off the cuff and fun, but ensure that you are seen as leading the interaction rather than begging for a favour then you’ll see more successes.
What To Do On An Instant Date
Where should you take her for an instant date? Well, for me coffee shops tend to be the default. While I would never take a girl on a “proper” date to a coffee shop, as it is always beneficial to go somewhere that serves alcohol to help lubricate things, in the daytime you have to recognise that suggesting an alcoholic drink may not be so readily accepted. I wouldn’t go for food—you then get into the issue of who pays, and some guys are messy eaters, and it won’t help your cause if you are too.
Once you’re in the venue, continue to chat informally without grilling her or asking too many “interview”-style questions. Talk about yourself, your interests and projects, but take care not to do so in a boastful way. You should aim to make her feel comfortable but at the same time you should try to retain a little mystery or edge. If you like, drop in very mild teases now and again (NOT so-called “negs”, but humorous, jokey comments) to show that you are an interesting guy with your own mind.
At the end of twenty minutes (or whatever time limit you set), look at your watch and tell her that you have to go now. Don’t let her be the first one to leave—ideally, you want to go slightly early so she’s left wanting more. Don’t tell her you’ll message her later, or make elaborate plans for the next date—leave her wondering when you’ll next be in touch, so when you do message she’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Making An Instant Date A Same-Day Lay
Occasionally, an instant date can turn into a same-day lay. This very much depends on the type of girl she is, the circumstances, how attracted she is and so on. There’s no single rule to tell if things are heading in that direction as there are so many variables, but if you sense a girl you’ve met that day through a cold approach may be down to take things further, then don’t make the mistake of bailing too early and losing an opportunity that may not arise again.
In a situation that looks promising it’s worth changing venues a few times, or going for a walk—don’t stay in the same place all day. If it’s later on in the day then at this point you can suggest an alcoholic drink. What you’re really aiming for is to bounce her back to your place—and of course there are logistics here in terms of where you live and so on. The best way of accomplishing this manoeuvre is to say something like “There’s this great movie on my computer you’ll really love—come over for a bit and we’ll watch it.” Again, the trick is to lead rather than to ask—doing so will give you an air of confidence that she will find attractive, even if for whatever reason she can’t come back with you on that occasion.
—
Roosh has some great tips on how to develop your day game in his classic book Day Bang, home of the “elderly chat” strategy and the now infamous “pet shop” line. Day Bang, which I have referenced throughout my day game series, is a 201-page book that solely focuses on approaching women during the day. Using dozens of examples, it teaches you how to meet girls in common daytime venues like the coffee shop, retail store, street, bookstore, and grocery store, among others. It’s available on paperback, Kindle, or ebook. Click here to learn more about Roosh’s book.
Read More: How to Have Conversations With Women That Get Results
First! Hahaha! Now all your comments will forever be second to mine!
noooooooooooooooooooooo
what kind of faggot ass comments are these, especially on a site like ROK.
Oh piss off and learn to have some fun. Fucking negative nancy.
”Me got dick, you got pussy, oogah!”, in caveman language. The caveman language is in your head but not spoken. The head language you project but do not overtly speak. It is the template behind what actually comes out of your mouth. What is spoken is dressing, the foam on top of the kettle but your eyes, your body and your mind conveys the caveman message subliminally.
Also being in the zone is when those magic moments roll. Sometimes you try to roll an immovable object and there’s resistance. Sometimes you can roll a bolder before you. You know you’re in the zone when the bolder before you was ready to roll so you’re the lucky buck and you stand behind the bolder and everyone sees you ass slapping the bolder and snapping your fingers at it. What they all see is you moving that thing so you keep your ‘mind power’ focused on the bolder until it slows indicating the bolder is getting ready to commensurate getting fucked.
Instant day game is kind of like watching flies and trying to swat them. They’re too fast when they bolt so you observe they stop every five seconds to recharge. That’s when they’re swattable, not in mid air but when they first land. Like the rolling bolder analogy, you catch your day game right in between their intermittent jumping hamster flights out and about.
After having asked her where the pet shop is,
Boring. I prefer to ask if she knows where a) the closest graveyard is located and b) is she aware of any nearby gun shops.
Gets the mind to peculating, sets off bad boy flags, gives you an aura of danger and hey, sometimes you actually require that information.
Heh
Another tried and true strategy is to do some Kratom, get pumped up on electrolytes, and then walk out on the street and command random hot chicks to jump on your cock. Done correctly, this strategy is 100% effective. Hell, sometimes you don’t even have to say a word, the electrolyte aura surrounding you literally pulls them towards you like steel to a magnet. Pro tip from your uncle Jeffy.
EDIT: What the hell is wrong with that chick in the first photo at the top of the article? Way too Auschwitz-y looking and a big ass alien sized mouth. Geesh. Chick with the black lingerie and glasses on the other hand, has permission to bear my children.
The graveyard is a little morbid for me.
Ask her if she knows a store that sells jumbo condoms.
Really though, all of this seems super silly. Most the time if you are presentable and confident and not a total fucking tool, so long as she has nothing else to do she will be happy to sit and chat with you for a bit in the nearest park.
True fact: I used to take girls to a Victorian graveyard that I knew about on the 2nd or 3rd date, if it was sunny and summertime. Brought along a picnic lunch, then strolled and played “guess what the dash between the years means” for random headstones. I received nothing but super high praise for this technique, usually accompanied by “I’ve never been on such a sexy date in my life!”.
Interesting, very interesting. I am more of a restaurant and piano bar type, but I won’t put down a working technique.
I have a friend who was an artist and wound up going to school for mortuary make up person (there is a title for it, but I forget…essentially, he dresses and puts make up on the stiffs). Anyway, he lived in an apartment above the funeral home and had to go through the front door of the funeral home to get home.
He told me that when at a bar talking to a girl he would leave himself 45 minutes to an hour to break in the whole “ok, when I said we are going back to my house, it is a funeral home, no I am not a murderer”
Some loved it. Some were quite turned off.
Now that would be creepy. I went Victorian because they were all *long* dead and decomposed, the site was by a very old 19th century church which looked mega beautiful, it seemed “Gothic” and cool, and the “dash game” always turned immediately towards sensual and erotic conversations. It also brought up a sense of urgency in a way. When you can continually bring up the pleasures of a warm body, of touch, of enjoying a beautiful sunny day, and mortality taking it all away, it clicks some gears in her mind.
It all sounds ok. I am not much of the out doors type. Remember, I still consider hotels without a concierge to technically be “camping”
You poor New Yorkian. I would pay to see you actually camping out in the wilderness in a tent.
Heh, me too. I like the kind of camping where there is an actual risk of mortal injury or death. Nothing too extreme, just like, say, hike 5 miles into the woods with your gear and a sidearm, string up your pack on a high tree limb, and hope that there aren’t many bears nearby, that kind of thing. Great fun.
No bears around my area but there has been the occasional coyotes.
you don’t have enough money…
Aw come on. Me and GoJ would be there. You’ll be just fine.
Coyotes are unlimited bag here, and there are places that pay a bounty for the pelts, and no special licensing, just a fur bearing animal permit. Bring along a nice .22 pistol and you can actually make some cash while out and about, heh.
Damn….I’m living in the wrong state.
Yeah, turns out that in farming states, coyotes are a huge nuisance.
I think some eco-weenies are doing or did try to re-introduce wolves to the state. I told my boy that if he’s ever out hunting and sees one, to shoot it on site and walk away, if nobody is around. Fucking hippies don’t understand why we got rid of them in the first place.
Never happen. Like really, never. The very idea makes me itchy.
The very idea makes me itchy.
http://img3.rnkr-static.com/user_node_img/111/2200478/full/the-itchy-and-scratchy-show-tv-programs-photo-u2.jpg
Someone beat you to it.
brilliant!
One of the best shows on TV.
Also, have you tried savagely killing all opponents without making a sport of it, throwing down your sword and yelling “are you amused”
I saw an instructional game video that suggests this….I think it was an instructional game video at least.
That’s professional level game there. Not for the feint of heart.
If done correctly everyone in starbucks starts chanting Maximus, Maximus as you wipe the blood from your sword and then take the girl home
behind those glasses is the classic thousand cock stare.
I like the big alien mouth. I always like big teeth, big mouth. Think Julia Roberts when she was a young poor Portuguese girl working in a pizzeria or Giada DeLaurentis who I am totally gaga over.
Julia Roberts is almost the opposite of what I like. That mouth. Agh, just sends a chill up my spine, it’s like it extends from ear to ear, and from the bottom of her nose down to the upper part of her chest.
don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kick any of the girls pictures above out of bed for eating crackers…..but that mouth gets me every time.
See GoJ we would make ideal partners in a bar seeing as how we have tastes that run in total contradiction to one another. Young Julia Roberts and Young Jen Anniston Run in the bar we would not have to discuss who goes where.
I hear ya
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Ls1lpImk1E0/TVHIA_I7AnI/AAAAAAAAAEs/dM5Cu6nvsPQ/s1600/upper%2Bincisors.jpg
So, Julia Robert’s niece, Emma Roberts (25), then?
I would literally murder you, GoJ, Unabashed and most members of my immediate family to get to Emma Roberts.
Seriously. She is straight up my number 1 right now.
Well, you’d try.
For Emma Roberts…I would pull your still beating heart out of your chest and eat it like Daneyrys Stormborn did to the Horse
Friendship?
bingo.
Still wouldn’t go camping though.
If I didn’t revile celebrities for being the chattel and fakes they are, then mine would likely be either Rachael Leigh Cook or Emma Stone.
That’s okay, you’ll notice I stayed out of that, being in a cramped tent in the middle of nowhere with three other guys doesn’t appeal to me either. ;P
Weird.
This is more my speed. Emma Roberts doesn’t even register on my radar. Strange how tastes differ.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/f32ed31cbbfd23a5a64f3aa96188d012/tumblr_o4u0ivJxPW1r4if08o1_1280.jpg
http://36.media.tumblr.com/28085cf41d7fdb421a4747f48b60f4c1/tumblr_o4n7jaJeLY1r4if08o1_1280.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/14243da7516a4613e20a5ac8799bbf87/tumblr_o4n7c0HsBr1r4if08o1_1280.jpg
Very good choices.
You go deer hunting alone, do ya’?
I am ok with celebrities being fakes. Seeing as I will never meet them, I don’t need them to be real. It is like having a dream and then complaining that the girl in your dream didn’t really have any emotional depth.
If Emma Stone or Emma Roberts ever comes around and we are dating I will let you know what their foibles are. In the meantime, given the nearly impossible chances of that happening, I will gladly suspend disbelief the same way I do with movies that have magic and dragons, and enjoy their abject perfection…until they are 28 at least.
pretty much.
I do like the park and the beach, but not to sleep in. That is for homeless people. I like hotels where they call me Sir and make sure there are fresh linens and booze in the room.
So I’m just guessing here, but you’re probably never going to do a full ride to Sturgis with me, are you?
Honestly, usually, sometimes though with my father, it’s getting rarer to spend any quality time with the man who put me through the survivalist gauntlet literally and figuratively and he’s always into camping/geocaching while I like hiking and rock-climbing more (and generally find they are good first date options to weed out the less appealing women).
*For the record, while I was joking around in that comment, I could have said “help some other men pitch tents,” but chose not to. 🙂
My sense of restraint really is improving.
like I said, wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers.
I suppose our personal tastes are a combination of many factors that lead up to a unique profile for each man.
We are talking about subtle differences in taste between 9’s though.
For what it is worth, Olivia Wilde before she pooped out those shitty kids and shittier beliefs was pretty high up there.
Not unless there is a four seasons there
Yeah, she’s not too bad.
I was actually being serious about Emma Roberts. She doesn’t even ping my radar. Like, if she came up and asked me to fuck her without any strings attached, I might actually have to consider if I had other appointments going on at the time or if my car needed washed, or whatever.
Kal-ee-mah!
I never said we’d be sharing a tent….
There is, we call it “The Buffalo Chip”. I get upgraded accommodations, which means that I get an RV slot to put up my tent which includes my very own porta potty which is emptied daily. Fancy living.
I second Rachael Leigh Cook! whatever happened to her?
I usually just stand or squat behind a tree depending on what needs to come out. If you got access to a porta potty, you’re faux camping.
It’s not really camping at Sturgis, just was using an example of a rough and tumble environment where the word “concierge” is alien to the general public.
Gotcha. Man….all this talk about camping has got me craving some hobo burgers.
This can get worse you realize, I chose to let it go… but you can never tell, lolknee might need closer comfort out there considering he’d be so far removed from the city and it being his first time and all…see? See, the direction you’re making my natural humor go? No, I’m going to end it here and now before it gets out of hand, and deftly change the subject by inserting an amusing video clip:
Just so you know, I’m the big spoon…always.
She got married to Daniel Gillies and became a mommy, taking time off for the “family thing” as Hollywhy calls it.
Of course she never really did get into doing more mainstream movies (outside of She’s All That and the Josie Pussycats flop).
Ah, well:
And that ties nicely into GoJ’s psychotic battlecry from yesterday:
Spoon!
Call me a traditionalist, but I’ve always favored “LEEEERROOOOY JEENNNNKINS!”
WOW, whatever floats your spoon, man.
Mucal invader! Is there no end to your oozing?!
Cowabunga!!!
Good for her for raising a family. She was a gem.
Thanks for the info.
I too, once got busy in a burger king bathroom
Much classier than a McDonald’s restroom.
so odd. That look just does it for me.
haha, I am going to use this to score “instant dates”
Standing in starbucks ill grab a boob and just start saying Kal–EE–MAH
I don’t know what any of that means.
GoJ, I’m not sure we can continue to call lolknee a man….
Lolknee I’m throwing you a life preserver: Can you change a tire on a car?
Hah!
http://www.buffalochip.com/
Like a 600 acre “camp ground” that is licensed, the whole thing, as a bar. You camp there wherever you can find a spot (lots of spots) or you can rent an RV space (like, you know, RV’s that you drive) and have a large roped off area that’s “all yours”, which also features it’s own invidualized porta potty so that you don’t have to use the public restrooms. It features a huge arena for concerts, and every night has major name bands playing.
This last August I was there, and around 9 am in the morning I was awake and shooting the shit with Kid Rock at a bar. The day earlier I was high fiving what remains of the Lynrd Skynrd band.
It’s a great place.
That I can do. Actually, I am pretty handy with cars in general. Motorcycles too. Short of serious problems or issues which involve a cars computer I can pretty much diy anything with an engine.
Ok, phew!
And the site breathed a collective sigh of relief…
Good for some, not all.
This is my local where I go to unwind. It would be unseemly not to wear a tie. The manager knows me pretty well and they always have a guy playing cole porter tunes on the piano.
http://www.yelp.com/biz/bemelmans-bar-new-york
Different folks ya know
My meaning there stems from a locker room discussion about who thought which actress was jerk-worthy, so I’ve always associated it with my response way back then: “Why jerk it when you can get a real girl?”
I think we can give him this back now…
Here I have to agree. If the pipes need cleaning the pipes need cleaning, but all things being equal it is always better to have something soft and bumpy in the room when it happens.
The only time I see ties in my group is when they’re tied around somebody’s head like a bandana.
He is cool, but crude.
I am tempted to say we ought to give one another’s life styles a try sometime.
We have basic fundamental agreements about the world just expressed in different modes. Might be fun. Will need to get you fitted for a dinner jacket and find you a proper pocket square.
It is actually interesting how similar our personalities are, given the…divergent…backgrounds we have. Heh.
The problem with your idea is that I think you’d get the heebie jeebies wearing a biker jacket, a cowboy hat and steel toed boots for more than five minutes at a time.
the best is that I read this as a response to fixing cars and thought…oh man, he is doing it all wrong.
Seriously though, what you call faux camping I see as the 9th ring of hell. As for what you would call real camping, I can’t even comprehend it actually existing.
Plus he’d have to go to a land outside of NYC which, as we all know, doesn’t exist.
Exactly. My biker buddies would take him under their wings though, show him the ropes, get him proficient at carrying sidearms covertly when he’s drinking as well as some basic entry level discussions on what girls are technically property, and what ones are free for dating.
Tent
Cooler of food to cook over an open campfire
Sleeping bag
Enough beer to last the night
Flashlight for midnight bathroom runs
Everything else is unnecessary luxuries
I have an Alpine Star MC jacket and I have no problem with steel toe boots so long as no one minds me pointing out that I would fire someone from a construction site in 2 seconds flat for showing up in them. As for the cowboy hat, I think I can pull it off.
I wouldn’t get the heebee jeebees until it was time to use the bathroom.
As for the other thing, it is a testament to what it means to be a normal and decent man. Particulars matter much less than authenticity.
I don’t chose to do things I like because I think they make me more manly or special. It is just part of who I am, my influences and surroundings and am just true to myself. No doubt you are too. At the core that is what is important.
It is only women who are defined by their personal style rather than styled after their personality.
“unnecessary” is a relative term my friend.
It is all hypothetical imperatives. It depends on what it is necessary for. Is a sparkling clean environment along with servile waiters dressed in red jackets with bow ties serving me perfectly made cocktails necessary for survival, no. But in the hypothetical imperative of what is necessary for my enjoyment, subjectively organized through my personal tastes and preferences, then yes…it is absolutely necessary.
I like using “gent” as a verb and a night out on the town genting is right in my wheelhouse.
You should give it a try sometime. With the right group, camping is a blast and you leave grungy but refreshed. Something about being out in the middle of nature resets your circadian rhythm.
When I want that I go to a beach resort in the Caribbean and swim in the clear waters and lay on the beach. Recently there I rented a whaler for a half day and drove that boat out into the water until I couldn’t see land. I jumped in the water and swam straight down as far as I could. I swam around without seeing land or another person for nearly two hours. When I crawled back into that little whaler and started back towards shore I was totally reset.
Same with paddle boarding.
Didn’t hurt that when I got back they already made up my room and I could go for a nice lunch and a bottle of bubbles.
Won’t lie, that sounds damn nice too.
You forgot the canoe and the fishing gear. If you can drive to your campsite, you’re not really camping. Fishing gear because depending on how long you stay, you can’t possibly bring all your food on your back
it was. I just got back and it was perfect. 80-85 degrees and sunny every day. The water was so clear that no matter how far out I swam I could see my feet. The sand felt like baby powder.
There was one restaurant where a black guy who was easily 6’4 and his two sons would go out fishing in the morning. They got back around 3. Prepped the kitchen for 7 and when the fish they caught was closed they closed the shop.
Guy was making his own homemade vanilla rum which he gave out lavishly to customers and was a bucket of fun.
I still haven’t full acclimated to not waking up in the morning and swimming out 100 yards then having a leisurely back stroke back to shore before breakfast and some paddle boarding.
I can make a really mean Martini in the middle of but fuck nowhere. Olive or onion, your choice.
My old camp site was in the middle of no where and you couldn’t get to it in a standard car. You needed something higher off the ground or you were guaranteed to stuck. Was certainly not a public camping spot.
I am sure you can, but we all have our preferences….I am an old dog and know what I like and have zero desire to change.
I can straight up guarantee I will never go camping….ever. That doesn’t mean I think it is bad or that people who enjoy it are wrong, it just isn’t for me. I also don’t like tennis, Asian bitches or tuna melts.
I agree with your last sentence, just not in that order. I like Asian women generally, but I don’t like Asian bitches who play tennis ’til their tuna melts.
well done.
Is it wrong I originally read that as “cicadian rhythm” and still found it acceptable?
Not smart if you live in the northeast. The shaking of the ice might attract the dreaded 3- olive martini black bear
I live in the North. Far enough that you hang your food in a tree at night to keep them bears away. Also beer is way too hard to bring in on your back. As for drunk black bears… Like everyone else just avoid political conversations and you’ll be fine.
We portage in to our favorite spots. Beer isn’t an option… Too much to carry on your back. I’ve learned to appreciate Jäger over the years.
What can I say?
I’m the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral and have a history of losing my shirt.
That’s what I said many years ago. Not for everyone I realize, but there is something very satisfying about getting right back to basics. It’s good for the soul. If you aren’t willing to go that far I would at least suggest you start by switching to freezing cold showers. Really toughens you up. Also during a nice storm a few years ago, I was the only one still showering after 3 days. Tuna melts are disgusting, but I tried one before I came to that conclusion.
I wear a handlebar mustache identical to that one…just not on my face
It’s from the song.
Raphael is cool but crude, michaelangelo is a party dude
Back to basics for me usually involves a beach. The water makes me happy. Cold showers are great. I take them after a steam.
They’re the world’s most fearsome fighting teens (that’s a fact, Jack) Leonardo leads Donatello does machines…yep.
Why I answered back with a song lyric myself. And who doesn’t want more bare, naked ladies in their day to day? 🙂
http://www.mademan.com/mm/how-cook-hobo-dinner.html
Not truly authentic as he says though, day old hamburger is a poor substitute for real hobo.
And it’s really something special when they let you wear a crown.
Wow you got me on that one.
Side note: have you got to the point where you refer to everything that happened in the 1990’s as “10 years ago”
No, not yet I guess, but there are times when I wake up in a cold sweat and realize that I’m stuck in the current time. That this IS reality.
Not sure if it’s rose-tinted nostalgia or the fact that my developing mind back then lived in blissful ignorance until it expanded with maturity (which I still rail against off and on, if you haven’t noticed), but some days I wouldn’t greatly mind going back.
Don’t worry, reality doesn’t exist.
Well then,
ya know what? This song would trigger a ton of people today:
yo fatgirl/yeah I called you fat/ look at me, Im skinny
Running away from one in a zig zag fashion will cause the bear to vomit. I prefer his cousin, the more docile Bavarian schnaps bear
or:
Fat bottom girls, you make my rockin world go round
more “triggering” music for the powderpuffs:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/stupid-hoe-lyrics-nicki-minaj.html
Not anymore, now, its a wedding song
Lol! After a few martinis, running in a zig zag fashion will cause you both to vomit. Yes, yes, the Bavarian schnapps bear is both more docile and easier to spot, what with the felt hat and lederhosen. In all seriousness, moose are far more dangerous, especially in the spring. Trust me, you do not want to encounter a moose with blue balls. They’re huge (both the animal and the balls) and they have been known to charge when horny and pissed off.
Whew…
She’s got the mouth.
I think I like casual sex better than porn star dancing, but the latter has a better crunchy guitar riff.
I think the Raphael interjection was “gimme a break” and Mike yelled something like Parteeeeey! in between the lines.
I just hate that 90s rock is now on the classic rock stations. It sucked the first time around…
I freakin hated hanging the food when I was up there.
Arguably, the tent and cooler with food are optional. (although I am with you on having them. Tent cot, actually.)
Debris hut or lean-to and if you didn’t catch it or kill it, you aren’t eating that night.
As a back-up, I usually make certain I eat my full on gas station nibbles before I hit the woods.
I’ve always wanted to try surviving in the winter by building a debri hut. I’m more of a forager than a hunter myself. Would definitely be fun to try it a couple of days at least.
Mystic Pizza was a sweet little late 80s movie. And yes, I get bananas in my pancakes and proceed to shove them up my ass.
If there is a girl waiting at a bus stop I like to pee all around it. That way she’s stuck in my territory.
Sound technique, territory marking is a tried and true method of snagging a chick. Try not to mark her personally in such a manner until *after* she hands you her digits though. Can be a bit off putting.
I’ve been doing some great progress with that lately, but from time to time I still mess things up by humping her leg too early.
You never hump her leg within 5 minutes of meeting her! Bad Monsieur, bad! Do it again and I’m swatting your nose with the paper.
Instructional video for that:
Bad form to hump leg before you let her sniff your ass.
Well I have already taken my morning Kratom I guess it is time to day bang lol.
Salvador Dali coated himself in goat feces for a woman. You might be on to something with this excrement/territory idea.
‘Million Dollar Man’ by Georgio Armani is rated as the odor most likely to get you laid but personally I find ‘Paco Rabanne’ makes me smell like a REAL monkey. There’s some science behind pheromone triggering scents. I wait to bathe, a tinge of ball sweat and underarm road crew with a little puff of ‘Paco Rabanne’ and you smell like a pheromone factory that just blew up. It’s like MSG for your natural wild reek.
There was an old married with children where Bud ties a 20 dollar bill around his neck and tucks it into the top of his shirt before going out.
Women keep walking up to him and sniffing him and finding him oddly attractive.
Lol
That’s hilarious, I’ll have to see if I can find that ep to rewatch.
He was a nutter is interesting to learn about the man behind the paintings..
If you ever near St. Petersburg, FL, check out the Dali museum. I spent the better part of an entire day there immersed in his works.
All I can think about is the Robin Williams skit where he has a water bottle and is imitating a dog…
“That’s mine! That’s mine! And that’s mine!”
hahahahah didnt i say i liked you but i didnt know why
i know now
It isn’t often that I laugh out loud when reading these, but you sir have succeeded. Well done!
“I prefer to ask if she knows where a) the closest graveyard is located and b) is she aware of any nearby gun shops.
Gets the mind to peculating, sets off bad boy flags, gives you an aura of danger and hey,. ”
That, sometimes asking where the local meth clinic is located, or the nearest AA meetup place. And speaking of AA, I recall someone mentioned that AA meetings is where a lot of hot bitches troll for new boyfriends. I’m serious. A hot chyck today would prefer a man with a drug / alcohol issue than a man who is clean. Welcome to the garbage generation.
I’ve heard that about AA as well. And the ones that aren’t purposefully trolling, are by definition addictive personality types, so if you get even a toe in the door they latch onto you. At least that’s what I’ve heard.
“so if you get even a toe in the door they latch onto you. At least that’s what I’ve heard”
Good point about the females at AA. They will be truly broken women.
To paraphrase Mrs. Robinson’s husband, “methadone clinics.” Trust me on this one; they even hand out free condoms.
Somehow I feel as though this instant date article deserves a supplemental follow-up: “How Best to Prevent the Likely Accusation of Insta-rape after the Instant Date.”
But then, we could just ignore it and go with one of your suggestions.
I don’t know how people get by without a hidden voice recorder these days, in the dating market. Actually being somewhat serious.
Unfortunate and ironic sort of “progress” we’ve fallen for culturally. Roosh may even be right about video taping interactions.
If you bring her home? Abso-fucking-lutely. Hell if you can find a way to sneak a Go Pro to her house and hide it while she’s in the bathroom, I’d even do that. It sounds pervy, but really it’s just good self protective measures should she decide two weeks later that her screaming “Yes, Yes, Fuck me, Oh my God Yes!” actually meant “No”.
I can just imagine the future now:
Her – “Yes, Yes, Fuck me, Oh my God Yes!”
Him – “Can I get that in writing?”
Signed in triplicate
the graveyard could be a great turn off too
Technically, I didn’t make an actual serious post.
If I were to ask where he nearest gun shop is, I’d probably be reported and put on some sort of watchlist here in my area of California.
I can reach out 10 miles in any direction and run into at least one, maybe more, gun shop.
Yeah, you kind of beat me to it. I think I’m getting too old for this stuff, most of those chicks would just annoy the hell out of me. I like the blonde with the glasses though; simple, no fuss.
One of the reasons that I quite playing the market awhile ago. I’ve got this thing about giving just any old carousel rider a free go on the spellbinding awesomeness of my manhood.
That, and the technology passed me by. First, get girl to her place; then set up camera, check lighting, verify audio connection, call lawyer on smart phone and have him record…..okay, go!
To the edit: the lipstick is what makes her mouth look big. She’s likely not old enough to work anywhere and no way does she profess any field of study which is all good. She looks conservatively 16 so I’d gamble on taking her out for two years of milkshakes first unless we go to Delaware. They’d hang an old fart like me cause I’m white. Even family can be a pain when a white man tries to go young and pure in the west. Why my own mother almost spit out her dentures when I showed up once with a 21yo and I was mid 40’s.
Mate… you realise you earned homo suspicion points for critiquing her make-up? That and generally not finding a hot chick hot.
Hell, if you guys don’t want her I’ll take her. 16 is legal in my country…
Son… just what the fuck is Auschwitz looking?
Gun shop thing won’t work here in Germany. Sniff sniff.
Are we talking stainless steel?
Or more like this:
Is that girl in the cover photo related to Gary Busey? That’ll be a toothy BJ.
Thank you. I’m just sayin’…
I’d be getting a little anxious if she went down on me, not gonna lie.
I like it.
I think Ill stick around the city tonight, see if I can get an insta-date from a Trump protester. Should up my rep if I can follow thru
Go to line in that scenario, guaranteed to generate tingles: “Yeah baby, I hate being white too”
“Why don’t we ditch our gender-normative shackles and embrace our dragon-kin identities?”
Guaranteed to work every time.
“So…your affirmative consent paperwork, or mine?”
Paperwork is so old school…we use apps nowadays gramps.
http://college.usatoday.com/2015/07/04/sexual-consent-app-we-consent/
I was using irony…yeah, let’s go with that…irony. Next I’d order her a PBR and we could talk about phallic oppression.
I know! I think we’re suffering from some Poe’s law here.
I was thinking a bernie mask, and ACORN shirt and no pants would do the trick. maybe flash some coupons for Golden Corral at em
“Where you going, baby? I got a Groupon!”
Hey baby, you’re just my kind of lumpen proletariat.
uh…
yeah, youre right- assless chaps it is
When should you not include assless chaps (or body glitter for that matter), what were you thinking, man?!
EDIT: For the record, I don’t wear the body glitter, I drink it; that way it shimmers when I pee on girls at the bus stop and I can say: “See, it’s like pixie-dust, now don’t forget to think happy thoughts!”
“You feel the Bern baby? Well, thats gonnorhea.”
“I’m getting a strong urge to nationalize your means of reproduction, sweety”
“Snap your fingers for the clap.”
Too clever, I’d have to write that on a cocktail napkin, pin it to the nearest pigeon, and watch as it flew over her head
That’s true, all of these pretend socialists probably have zero familiarity with actual socialist theory. That’s like, work dude!
ahahaha!!!!
Alas, Cheese points out the weakness of such a line. And I thought it was pretty damned clever.
I thought it was pretty hilarious–KUDOS!
Commie Cunt is awesome…except for that whole Tragedy of the Commons thing.
“What shade of purple is that exactly?”
“Well, you’ve already got a piercing there.”
“Ever been Pumped and Dumped at a Trump rally?”
“Which of you am I speaking with right now, ‘cuz that’s the only personality I don’t want to bang.”
“Do you know where the littlest pet shop is?”
“Do the purple curtains match the carpet?”
I go cuffs and collars…I’ve got class.
cuffs…yeah, you’d be Felix, Ghost would be Oscar…wasnt sure until now
Yep, they’re a pretty “odd couple” if you ask me:
Actually, Ghost could be Felix and I could be Bond.
On second thought, you could be Laverne and he could be Shirley
shlameal schlamazel
Julia or Samantha?
even after googling I don’t get that one.
Julia Bond is a pornstar that has gone completely tatted and bizarre haired (enough so to make news in some circles, hence how I know of her, really just used her to keep to the pair theme) while Samantha Bond played Moneypenny in the 007 films starring Pierce Brosnan. 🙂
A bit mean maybe, but I let GoJ slide on saying he rode the tube in London after all. I didn’t even quip whether it made him fancy a fag (or several over the course of a fortnight) while he was there.
very well done on several fronts!
Very magnanimous on giving a pass to the ole tube rider
Well, I figure if I rile him too much, he’ll virtually stomp my meager mind into putty, seen him do it, so I’m just dancing near the line for the “shits and giggles” trying not to step too far.
“Which of you am I speaking with right now, ‘cuz that’s the only personality I don’t want to bang.”
Oh fuck on a stick, that’s good!
“Ever been Pumped and Dumped at a Trump rally?”
Isn’t that why these women go there in the first place? As Dutch comedian Hans Teeuwen put it: “deep down, left-wing girls want a right-wing cock.”
The easiest girls to insta-date are vampires. All you have to do is invite em in
haha!
“Hey, when are we going to get around to the you sucking my…whatever?”
What’s up with girls and thick eyebrows lately. I went out for Mexican with the posse the other night and them bitches out looking like Martin Scorsese. I damn near went up to one and told her how much I loved her in Shark Tale.
Haha! It’s a trend among some women. What town are you in?
Maybe they’ve seen one too many old ladies with no eyebrows at all from years of over-plucking and over-corrected?
Ummm, eyebrows are part of the body, they aren’t something you can just decide “yep, I want my eyebrows to be thick today!”
What I’m talking about is deliberate.
How though? How do women magically make their eyebrows bushier?
I don’t know the specifics. Looks like they use gel to spread the hairs out or something. Don’t ask me. Look that shit up in Cosmo or something.
Pencil, powder pencil, brush, filler. Shits load of product out there. I pencil in gently then use clear mascara.
Oh, well that isn’t really bushy, but that just seems like doing a crappy job at making fake eyebrows rather than intentional.
I’ve notice that. Groucho Marx….
Best day game tip: Walk up to a beautiful girl in broad daylight and without any hesitation, scream loud disjointed jibberish directly within 6 inches of her face. If your frame is strong enough (it is, right?), she will almost certainly be intrigued and will basically insta-orgasm right then and there, before literally groveling in front of total strangers for the privilege of giving you her phone number, nude selfies, checking account information – you name it. Demon possessed game is a thermonuclear weapon for a man when in capable hands!
This is great! Thanks for sharing!
One key thing about this day game that wasn’t mentioned is that you need to look your best at all times. You never know when that opportunity comes up. If you’re dressed like an anti-Trump protester in hipster clothing and scraggly Seth Rogen beard, you’re not going to get many pulls.
Brush up on your vocabulary. You want to sound educated and not some dumb schlep.
this is absolutely correct.
As a daily subway rider (at least until the weather is back to being bicycle worthy) I find that being dressed for work, groomed, etc opens the door to eye contact and discussion so often that if I followed every lead in a day it would get exhausting.
When someone acts like an asshole and you have a laugh with them and they see that you speak like a human being, polite and educated they are already in your pocket.
Subway.
*shudders*
Rode the tube in London. Thought I was going to have to be taken off on a stretcher due to a complete collapse of my central nervous system.
It’s like anything else, you get used to it. You should see Rush hour when there is literally critical mass in a tub of questionable safety.
London tube is much cleaner, but the nyc subway system is actually the fastest and usually the most pleasant way to get around.
The first time I drove a motorcycle I nearly missed myself and was white knuckle most the time. 2 months later I was doing 160 heading out to the beach.
Ive been riding the subways since I was old enough to walk so I don’t even think about it most of the time.
If ever in new York and taking the subway I will give you a pro tip, if the subway is crowded and you found an empty car….don’t say “lucky me” and jump on it. Deal with the crowds. There is a reason it is empty and you do not want to find out.
I’m a bit huge crowd phobic. It’s ok if I’m not shoved up against other people, but having all points of me crammed against strangers on a tube sends chills down my spine.
I can see how it can be daunting.
I take it as part of normal life at this point but if I walked into it as an adult for the first time I’d probably kill someone.
The subway is always an adventure
I just can’t get used to the smell of stale urine in the NYC subways.
I will admit that when the weather and humidity are both north of 90 that is a smell which could be weaponized.
for what is is worth, I have been alive for 7 NYC mayors and riding the subways by myself for 5 of them.
While the NYC subways were never clean per se (Moscow subways are nicer than most museums) during Giuliani’s tenure as mayor there was a HUGE and DRASTIC difference. Night and Day.
The city isn’t worse now than it has ever been. That would have been, in my opinion, during the Dinkins era. However, the ONLY reason the city isn’t worse than it has ever been is because of the policies Rudy put in place that are being systematically destroyed, but were so strong they are dying hard.
why not? It smells like…victory
I don’t understand how difficult it is to just open up a fire extinguisher down there and hose it out once in a while. It’s not like NYC is in a drought.
Not. More like a giant urinal. The walls even has white ceramic tiles.
Also there’s the “epidemic” of guys jacking off on the bdfm lines then wiping their secretions on the poles.
ok ok ok, it was one time and I was drunk…..
Actually, I always liked the B line. When I moved from the UWS to the UES last year (which I consider a temporary exile until my triumphant return to civilization) and had to start riding the 6 I felt it was a huge downgrade.
Fortunately, now that spring is here, soon it will be pretty much all bicycling
Are you serious dude?
I went to Japan for work and had to go from Nagoya to a nearby city. I rode one stop on the Higashiyama line then jumped to the Tsurumai. The first one, they have attendants to jam you in, mosh pit style.
Lots of high powered juice in those rails.
Yeah, he should cut you some slack, you were probably drunk then too.
Wow talk about an odd job. Imagine coming home “honey, you will never believe what happened at work today”
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2015/12/29/man-fondles-self-on-subway/
Thats just one example, and I was wrong about the train line. It’s on the 123 red line not the bdfm orange line.
Thanks for the heads up man. I rare ly take the subway and touch the pole but now I won’t be touching anything.
Hand sanitizer.
Stale urine and pinesol.
Bleach
Where’s feminist carrera? I kinda miss the cunt haha
Not.
you cannot pull a high-smv woman on an instant date, no matter what as they have a huge pool of options. better get their number, wait a couple of days, CALL them (not text, not msg them on social media and say “whaddaya doing on….” –> huge pussy move). Btw, high-smv women will also not give you their social media accounts so Better call them, tell them i’ll pick up up at 7 on this day… i was thinking of getting sushi at abc restaurant, how’s that? That is how you pull… Take charge…
Typical reply from a low smv woman.
look guys screw this how to pick girls up. focus on education and make money. no need for game after that. this is all a waste of time. creating a business is to eventually having people come to you as your reputation proceeds you. that’s what game is…be successful. i implore all young men to control your urges to become successful, ignore picking up women when young and focus all your energy on becoming successful then there’s no need for any of this gaming. it’s a waste of time.
This site has mentioned that beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, that there’s a basic science to it.
So what’s up with the choice of the “flower girl” as the first pic and thumbnail for this article? To me, there’s something extremely off-putting with her smile (poor tooth-to-gum ratio, overemphasized lips?).
Lol You guys are so confusing always complaining about sluts but then writing about how to bang them ! … me personally even if im free and interested that day im not EVER going anywhere with a stranger right then and there. We just gotta do the number exchange meet up later deal because it would just be too weird for me. Id b scared im going to get thrown in a van.
We may not have any respect for sluts, but we will certainly take advantage of the opportunity if it arrises. Remember, if there were no sluts, there would be no players, men are just adapting to the lack of female virtue. Women decide when a man enters, so it’s up to you if you want to be used for fun or for family.
Ig its the age old question of which came first the chicken or the egg. I say if there were no playeres there would be no sluts. I say women are begining to adapt to the lack of virtue of men. Its realy a matter of opinion.
that ain’t auschwitz-y, mr ghost……that mouth is made for sucking…..nothing wrong with skinny girls…….take her over a fat one any day…….of course, i’m 58, and my standards are slipping, somewhat
Hmmm. To me an instant date would be to have seen the car accident (or whatever) and then follow the ambulance to the hospital. Then do it to her while she’s still unconscious in the recovery room.
Good article. I never thought of “instant date” outside of having met at a party or museum club or something, and then leaving from there.
Love your articles, Troy.