Friendships mean a lot less now than they used to. A combination of technology, material prosperity, increased leisure time, and half-dead or zombie-like cultural loyalties means that the average person living, working or socializing with those around them has far less individual value than in times past. For a start, we each know more people than our parents and grandparents. That immediately puts less of an emphasis on strong, lasting ties with friends and others.
The crux of this article is not that all your current friends will behave in the ways I will explain. But expect large numbers of them to if given the chance. Optimism is actually your enemy in this regard. It is better to be aware of the negative traits found in many people roaming this Earth. Then you are unsurprised when they act on these impulses. It also makes you value your true friends all the more.
1. Make yourself known or even many “close” friends will disappear
In 2012, I set about trying to reinvent myself and my life. I was still very young. In a few years after turning 18 I had already traveled much of the world. But I needed something different. Countless whirlwind romances and one night stands from Poland to the Atlantic Ocean needed to be supplemented or redefined by something much more. And I certainly did not need to document everything I was doing in Europe in meticulous detail on Facebook.
This obviously did not bode well with many of my present friends in Australia. We lost touch, depending on the person, for something between 9 and 15 months. When I resurfaced back home a few times, even though they were aware I had been traveling, many had apparently decided the friendships were over. The best way to determine this were Facebook deletions, but a number of other signs made the situation clear, too.
Yet these were the same people I had broken bread with in the past on trips of our own. They had sought my advice on girls, study, work, and life. A number had left their most treasured possessions, their wallets, their secrets, and, often enough during our adventuring, their livelihoods in my hands. And they did all this despite having plenty of other people they could call on instead.
In the case of the men who had evidently parted ways with me, some I had never seen cry before could and would cry in my presence over same family or female-related loss, or another sort major crisis they faced. They knew I would give them the honest, glaring truth, but they cried all the same. For the women, I had had sex with a number of them over a long period of time in the past. But it was my extended absence, not the absence of sex between us, that seemed to have set off the end of our friendships.
So what prompted this from people I had previously trusted and who had trusted me? In reality, if I had had the time to decide who was most valuable in my life and who was not, I might have consciously erased a few of them from my own life, whether mentally, online or in practical terms when I returned home. Jealousy was another potential factor. I might have disappeared, but people knew what I was doing and could have guessed based on my past jet-setting behaviors.
Undoubtedly, some of the women I had had sex with obviously benefited from trying to forget our liaisons when they found long-term partners. These are all possibilities and probably explain either at least half of the ended friendships or at least half the reasons for each ended friendship.
The fact remains, though, that friendships are most often artificial, ephemeral constructions. Gone are the days when a person could leave a village, town or district of a city for years at a time and come back with the comfortable expectation that their old social relations would either be the same or could be reinvigorated very quickly. Do not close yourself off from the idea that this loyalty can still develop. It can. But the chances are much smaller than they used to be and because of the tyranny of time, with only 24 hours in a day, there are limits to how many people you can cultivate this sort of lasting bond with. Friendship is much more of a muscle than it used to be: use it or lose it.
2. Your “friends” will not assume responsibility for an unused or broken down friendship
Everyone has a phone. Everyone has email. Everyone has Facebook. Whilst this is not a substitute for face-to-face contact, the excuses for either party to not keep a friendship going are slim to none. Needless to say, however, you will be blamed when a friendship starts to atrophy and then die off.
It was you who did not stoke the fires of their self-importance, it was you who did not invite them for coffee, it was you did not wish them happy birthday. It does not matter if they forgot to do all that or more when it comes to you. In an almost identical fashion to girls blaming men for a stagnating conversation or floundering sexual build-up when the female is actually the problem, current friends are apt to blame you later on when the friendship has not been kept alive.
Then we have the specter of behaviors like flaking, which are frequently used as a pretext to end or gradually shake off a current friendship. Flaking is easy for the flaker but very often infuriating for the flaked. If your friend bailed on you last week, do not expect sympathy from them when you have to do the same thing this week, regardless of any excellent reason for doing so. It does not matter that your friend is as unreliable as a square peg in a round hole; you will most likely be blamed and pilloried, even if silently, for doing the same thing they did.
When the going really gets tough, this is even more true. Hard times call for better friends and this requires more effort and sacrifice from them. The abundance of friends you had in prosperous or more casual periods quickly chisels down to a smaller group, unless you somehow bucked the trend that afflicts or could easily afflict most people’s social lives. As opposed to demonstrating true friendship, a friend who balks at you can make all manner of rationalizations about why they could not be there for you. Do not expect them to feel bad or take responsibility. It is likely that only a few will go above and beyond.
3. Your biggest favors will either not be remembered by friends or will look far less generous later on
Did you spot one of your closer friends $1,000 when they lost their job or offered to share your place with them when they suddenly became a homeless student? Five years from that time, there is a good chance the friendship will either be a shadow of its former self or a deadweight that makes both of you cringe every time you see each other randomly in public. So, welcome to the real world then: going out of your way to help someone is rarely remembered down the track or can result in you being spurned.
Paradoxically, some erstwhile friends are actually less likely to want to associate with you because you helped them. Even if they, not you, remember your help, it can hang heavily over their heads. A vague future obligation they feel they have towards you can easily become an excuse to leave you behind. They expend far less energy by ending a friendship at the point at which you have given them more than they will ever give you.
Plus, friendships are invariably less sexualized versions of relationships. Just as sleeping with a girl generally reduces her overall value to you, getting something from someone can alter the previous dynamic between the giver and receiver. Oftentimes, the recipient rightly or wrongly sees themselves as being the dominant, more valuable one.
As humans we are social beings but social for one main reason: survival. Just because we have gone past subsistence societies (for now) does not mean that the motivation of self-interest is absent. It is almost always there. People may pay lip service to showing temporary gratitude, but once enough time has elapsed, you may very well become expendable for those you went out of your way to assist. To this end, value is more of an ongoing calculation than a cumulative one. Good deeds two years ago count for less than the absence of favors now, especially as the human mind, even one of a friend, is prone to selective memory.
You’re probably guilty of this, too
In this article I have deliberately tried to make myself look like the victim of opportunistic false friends. But there’s a catch: I have acted in the same ways myself. Usually without realizing it, I just abandoned friends I did not need as much anymore. After Natalya taught me Russian for five months, I found myself talking a lot more with her friend Ekaterina. When Tom started working night shifts and could not go clubbing as much anymore, we hardly met at other times because I could club with Jason and George instead. I have dished out, sadly, as much of this, if not more, than I have received.
Nonetheless, becoming a social “pessimist” has ironically made me happier. As the Stoic philosopher Seneca noticed, it is the optimists who are often engulfed in the most anger. They expect the best from people, only to be disappointed. Whilst I do not expect the worst from people, I am wise enough (which only means I have learned the lesson a billion times) to figure out that fully 40-60% of the people I now call my friends will be either outright duds or meaningless to me in five years’ time.
Keep searching for excellent friends, however. They are there. Last year Roosh learned this firsthand. Having been hunted down by rabid and plain violent SJWs in Canada, a number of individuals stood by him as he stood up for men and free speech, including on one occasion that involved a mob. These kinds of comrades may be rare, but you can always find ones like them. In the meantime, learn to enjoy your less tested friendships, but do not expect too much of them.
Read More: True Friendship Is About Tough Love
As I have seen, most friends in this world are friends of convenience. When I was moved far away, I lost contact with most friends from my last location. This actually makes sense. Everyone spends time on and with people that bring value to their lives. Many people bring value in face to face situations but not really otherwise. So you automatically will quite those associations when you move on.
The key is though, that the best friends I had in high school and the best friends I had in college and some friends since then, if I do see them, I can pick back up right where we left off and have a good time with them. I just don’t have time to chat them up on a regular basis on facebook or over the phone. I could make time, but why would I? I’m not a girl and I don’t want to have a monthly phone call with old friends just to catch up on their lives. I’ll do that when providence decrees we meet again. In the meantime, I’m busy trying to maintain a home, a carreer, another side job that is my real career and a family. That’s enough for me.
Now I have local friends again that bring value to my life.
“Friendship that can end never really began.” -Publilius Syrus
Modern technology and society isn’t just ruining sex relations, but it’s destroying all social relationships, be it friendships, family, community, and so on. And it’s just getting worse and worse. It’s also harder for me personally because I don’t use Facebook or other social media outlets but people expect you to have one to keep in touch.
In my experience, even guys who you think will be your pals for life will lose you if you don’t hang out on a regular basis. And sadly, as you said, men are just as flaky as girls. You pretty much have to play the numbers game to find good friends who are compatible.
In my observations guys have been more than 2x as flaky as females on average.
I still talk to some girls I banged 20 years ago, but none of the guys I used to hang out with then.
I maybe a bit fucked up but it’s easier for me to trust a girl I’ve done ass to mouth than a some randomish guy.
So do ass to mouth with your male friends, too. You know it makes sense.
http://hosted.ap.org/photos/D/db3c48e5e20741df9b7bdabe63458238_0-big.jpg
I’m pretty sure every single man in history has had the exact opposite experience.
Just wait til your mates start getting married and having kids. Suddenly they don’t want their old, foulmouthed international playboy buddy hanging around any more.
Especially if they have a daughter.
Understandable though. A good friend should be man enough to also be a gentleman around your wife. You are the company you keep, dont be a scumbag good ‘ol boy. My dad has this problem, degrades women around me sexually then goes and hugs my wife. Fuckin dirtbag.
That is because males have become more feminized over time. The feminine imperative need to crash male spaces has necessarily crashed male friendships. The ‘bros before hos’ mindset had to be undermined.
Note how SJWs and their ilk constantly imply and infer homosexuality in any close relationship between two males. Captain America and Bucky can’t be best friends, they have to be secret homosexual lovers.
Feminizing men meant their relationships would necessarily become more trivial and less meaningful, like female friendships. Demonizing male bonds as exclusionary, gay or whatever, further weakened the likelihood of men to develop close friends.
It all comes back to the Red Pill. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another… until the feminine imperative waddles in and trigglypuffs all over everything.
There’s the whole issue of backstabbers too: no matter how tattooed and roided a muscly man might be, the code of honour erosion has been the biggest feminist casualty. Men will happily sleep with wives of other men, etc, in a society absent of fraternity.
Friendship is something that is temporary and should be perceived this way. The reality is that eventually most friendships will fade away as most people will move on with their lives. Whether it is focussing on having a career, or raising a family, most people will simply lose contact or at best, keep in touch at a minimal level simply due to their lives having different and more important priorities. There is nothing wrong with this but rather, should be interpreted as how life works.
This is something which I believe, helps to distinguish the difference between men and women. Most men are able to bounce back on their feet and move on with their lives with a stronger sense of wisdom and maturity after learning that certain relations and friendships will no longer stay the same. But for most women, it is a different game altogether. I have witnessed women in their thrities and even further, that behave like school children, who are simply obsessed with the friend circles that they keep that it is essentially what keeps their lives going. Their priorities is simply comprised of a bizarre mix between obsessing on social media and trying to find a man, that they cannot fathom or understand as to why they cannot be taken seriously.
Understand that the nature of friendship is traditionally based in sharing the same interests and creating a comfortable environment. But as I have mentioned, eventually this will start to disappear as we find and create new environments througout our lifetimes and it is essentially what helps us to create our journey and pathway in life. From travelling around the world meeting different people in a variety of cultures, to working with new colleagues, these interactions and relations that we build, are what essentially moulds our views and perceptions about life while allowing us to build a stronger and more contemplative mindset as to who we are as individuals.
Nothing stays the same forever in terms of the kind of people we expect to be with in our life. So enjoy whatever moments you have with those close to you but do not expect them to be with you throughout your lifetime. I believe that moving on is a great way to be able to grasp the nature of life, rather than constantly trying to hold onto the same group of people that we form friendships with. For me personally, the best permanent friend a man can have is a book. Reading is what keeps me going in this world and it has provided me with more knowledge and wisdom than what any of my friends have provided in my life.
Women always will be more about community as they know, aside from the fake MILF racket, that their free ride ends with society once the beauty fades. Their value mainly continues based on social presence to which women are wise enough to always place themselves as available.
Studies have shown as humans we only retain actual contact with 130 or so of our actual friends. What else can happen when you factor now we have to be friends with people to maintain jobs, partners, and hobbies? We all keep talking of rounded people but maybe this is all to keep up with social presence and have it at a high enough potential to make sex and resource attainment easier. This is the age of emotional memory. And emotions are always changing. I hold no illusions that this means I am too or am using others for a practical purpose, even when I intend not to.
We have a serious issue nowadays with words and their meanings.
We love pie. We hate the heat. We go out with our friends from work. Everything is racism or misogyny. Done until words have little to none of their original value or meaning.
Odds are you have associates: colleagues, acquaintances, and then friends yet have muddled them up in our socially inept (and even anti-social) times. Friends on Facebook, or whatever, aren’t real. Friends who you can’t just pick right back up with were never friends, they were acquaintances (at best fun-time pals at worst hangers-on). You know someone is an actual friend when they go out of their way to put, or do something for you, first without any expectation or prodding.
I have exactly two friends, that’s it. Everyone else is either family or someone I associate with due to circumstance, they are a mutual acquaintance of someone, they go to the same gatherings/hangouts, they are one of the few I can tolerate and commiserate with at work, etc.
Sometimes lasting friendships happen to form during childhood, but more often than not you were close acquaintances who would have never interacted other than you lived on the same block or went to the same school, time will prove out which it was.
People you “hang” with come and go and you can even become quite “tight,” but friends are easy to know because they’re around through the shit (your dad goes in the hospital they don’t send a card they show up at the room), they stay when the booze runs dry, and they aren’t sitting around keeping score or looking to figure out what they get out of it.
Everyone likes a posse, it brings status (and other personal/professional benefits), but the truth is most people can’t maintain a meaningful relationship with more than a few people at a time for very long.
I love pie, but only after movies
Damn, that was a great movie.
Alabama Worley, the original “Ride or Pie” chick
Good post. So much truth here. Acquaintances are different than friends.
I have a decent social circle albeit considerably smaller than it used to be but I’d say I have only two real friends.
In addition to the things already mentioned by others on technology and the superficiality of relationships these days, I’d add a red pill truth that someone who claims a multitude of friends is often times an actor. I have an acquaintance I’ve known since high school who fits this mold. He has the biggest social circle of anyone I’ve ever met but I’ve seen him in action and he’s a different person in different settings. I don’t think it’s possible to be your one genuine self and really connect with so many different people. Coincidentally or not he’s a natural alpha too. A notch count in double digits before he was 17.
I also agree with others that the growth of feminism and widespread acceptance of homosexuality has done much damage to a culture of close male heterosexual friendships. It’s either denigrated by women or sexualized by homos.
“I also agree with others that the growth of feminism and widespread acceptance of homosexuality has done much damage to a culture of close male heterosexual friendships. It’s either denigrated by women or sexualized by homos.”
Huh?
Honestly, if I’m not fucking them then they aren’t a friend. I don’t see how a relationship can last without sexual involvement.
This crosses over to family-in-laws. You aren’t fucking them personally (usually), but they’re fucking your family members, so you can be bound to them in the same way… but, then, in-laws are more like actual family because of this.
It’s just from life experience – friendship isn’t real. Sex is needed to keep people loyal.
Ugh, this gave me some nasty mental images… You do realize the article isn’t about girls right?
Yeah… well… I have trouble being friends with guys, alright. I figure it’s because I don’t fuck them, you know?
Ever thought of trying it? Hehehe, that should at least settle if that’s the reason or not lol.
Setting aside how this article is not about the ladies I’m not entirely sure I agree-I only have 5 friends and they have been that way for close to two decades-two friends I have had since 1997 from when I was 12, my closest friend from 1998, another from 2001 and the latest friend I acquired was from 2006 and each have proven their loyalty to me and mine to them in kind.
Well, my comment was based on my own life experience. Good for you if you do better.
I appreciate the sentiment. I meant no disrespect of course.
Your young man ;-). My oldest friend I know from 1983, we played together in a sand box with matchbox cars hehe. I was 5 he was 4.
I sometimes go 3-4 yrs without talking to him, but we can pick it up like we spoke last yesterday.
Great stuff. I’m 31 which I suppose is young but thankfully I bypassed the brainless stage and was a conservative from 19 😛
Technically you could personally be fucking your in-laws. It happens more than you would think, they aren’t blood relatives and it isn’t incest (legal) so you could even have non retarded offspring with them.
Nothing says loyalty more than an ex-wife divorce raping the guy she used to have sex with
For a start, we each know more people than our parents and grandparents.
No you don’t. You know words on an electronic screen. I suspect that I actually know more people in real life than any three Millenials combined, despite each one of them maybe having like 400 “Friends” on Facebook. Somebody hitting “Like” every time you post a picture of your dinner, you foodie you, is not actually a Friend unless you you meet and are companions with them off of the iZombie. From a real life standpoint Millenials and GenX’ers who are addicted to Online stuff are far more anti-social than people who go out and actually know people in real life.
My actual real life best friend would never do any of the contemptuous things mentioned in the article to me, nor I to him. We have shared experiences and memories since we were 13 years old, and three weeks ago we shared the experience of his son’s high school graduation. The hell he’ll ever treat me like dirt, nor I him.
People that I like but can take or leave aren’t really friends in any sense of the word. Happy acquaintances maybe, but “friend” means more than hanging out and getting drunk now and then, at least to me and those who grew up around me.
Indeed-a friend for me is a lifetime commitment; if they can’t commit to that then they’re done for me. I reciprocate in kind and wouldn’t hesitate taking a bullet or giving a kidney for them as I know they would for me.
Once I started accepting some red pill truths, I learned that I simply wasn’t compatible with many of my old friends anymore. These were guys I had grown up with since childhood. Looking back I see they hit quite a few of the criteria on this list right on the head; always screwing me over and not taking responsibility for it. Now, I no longer have a “best friend” although I have many friends I know I can rely on. It’s kind of cruddy not have a best friend, but it’s preferable to what I had.
It happens and it’s all a learning experience. Part of me is very happy that I have been slowly tuning a friend I otherwise agree with and get on with toward red pill truths-he has shifted dramatically away from a great many pie in the sky liberal stupidness but won’t ever admit I was right because I would justifiably crow about it 😀
The friend I mentioned started out as a “natural” just like me, before there was such a thing as the manosphere, red pill or even the term PUA. He’s as up front cold hard fact and will tell you about it to your face as you’re bound to find, while simultaneously being a genuinely funny and decent human being. Most of my other “friends” from childhood didn’t hold up the test of time though.
Hey GOJ, I just noticed that awesome “Nationalist” check by your name and I’m wondering how you got that lol?
LOL After going red pill I realized I wasn’t compatible with my entire fucking extended family back West!
You should’ve seen the shit cyclone I caused when I linked to a RoK article on Facebook!
I feed my coworkers a daily dose of the Red Pill without them even realizing it. They gobble it up, too, even most of the women when they think on it.
Got some examples?
So the other day I was out at a party with one of the girls. The entire party was stacked with females. The girl gets it in her head to be sure to tell all the girls I’m married, and that my wife is gorgeous.
I told her: You realize that while you might’ve completely closed off some of these women to me (if I was even interested) you’ve completely boosted me to the other ones.
Now they’re wondering ‘What’s so special about this guy who looks like a 6-7?’
And she’s like ‘yeah, you’re right, didn’t really think about that.’
Jesus, what a bitch. I’d feel like slapping her for not minding her own business.
I lost many friends when I became a Red Pill woman.
They admonished me for being too traditional and anti feminist. Good riddance!
The friends I have made in our new area are either accepting of red pill truths or they live similar lives. I have fewer friends but they are far more steadfast than the idiotic feminists I used to associate with when I was in the corporate world.
… but what’s a “red pill woman”? I’ve never before heard of such a creature.
Hahahahaha! We do exist but we’re often married and our natural habitat is our homes. That’s why you’ve never heard of us.
Yeah, I suppose… but I’ve got a wife, too, and she stays at home, but I wouldn’t call her “red pilled”. I just thought it was a guy idea (and a bit of a dumb one, really, but whatever). I suppose you’re that if you partake in all this nonsense, though. Up to you.
I like SE Asian women (from SE Asia – not Western ones), and they don’t have the feminism problem over there, see. So, to me, the red pill is an allusion to waking men up from the problems we face. I haven’t heard much in our (rather ridiculous, frankly) “movement” about trying to wake women up, too. Basically, once we go red pill, we just aim to seek out either traditional Western girls (Christians, mostly) or SE Asian girls who don’t need the red pill because their culture never placed them in that plague to begin with.
But as many of us Millenial men are Western guys often raised by single mother feminists and always exposed to Leftist PC culture in school, too, then we almost always need the red pill slap on the face to wake us up and help change out lives. We’re lost without it. We just can’t make our relationships work or whatever, because chasing feminists and behaving in the way we were taught in our early years simply isn’t a recipe for success.
Bye now, anyhow. Have fun!
When I speak of being a “Red Pill Woman”, I mean that I support the men’s movement and I am a traditional woman. I live in Canada so feminism has ruined our society as well. I choose not to live that life even though I am often told that I am being “controlled” by my husband.
Men are controlling bastards sometimes. Yet what are you going to do about it? Have your children fathered by a submissive loser instead?!
Oh, I’m not saying that you should or should not accept any particular man as a mate – the choice should always be hers, but the choice consistently made by the most desirable girls is conspicuously pro-red pill indeed!
That’s the main thing, though. So long as you’re genuinely happy with your choice in a man then you’re not being controlled. Not at all. No matter how much of a bastard he is.
The only controlling bastards are the pseudo Alphas who think that Alpha means asshole. They want a submissive woman without taking on the responsibilities of a traditional man. I’ve met those types and I always laughed in their faces.
My husband’s control over me is completely benevolent and thoughtful. Every decision he makes for us is in our best interests as a couple. I may not always like the choices he makes but I submit to his authority as the man of our household. My husband protects and provides so he has earned my submission. I find it arousing when he puts me in my place as well.
The women who tell me that I am controlled and anti feminist are all unhappy with their beta husbands and making trouble at work. Meanwhile, I can devote my life to domestic pursuits and charities. Looks like being controlled isn’t such a bad deal after all.
Actually, it boosted his chances of getting laid. Women respond to that. I got more attractive to women when I had a ring on my finger. A lot of us do.
I do not judge an invasion of my boundaries based on whether it gets me pussy. Do you?
Good for you! And it’s not being “controlled,” it’s listening to sense and respecting each other.
I do too. With isn’t it funny how…. Stories…
Join the club. The big red flag for me, and pretty much any other man, is a “friend” who doesn’t act like one when members of the opposite sex are around.
It’s definitely a part of growing. I lost what I thought were very close friends when I sobered up. That was long ago, and I started looking around at society before the Red Pill idea even came up. I just knew that life was constant improvement, and other people aren’t/can’t going along on your journey. Sucks, but it’s a proven system.
FB ruins lives. Once it opened to everyone, what do you think happened? Old HS flames(or missed opportunites) were contacted. Affairs ensued. Marriages were shattered. I have countless stories. Most happened within the first yr FB was opened up to non-students(2006?)
Oh go on. I agree though.
Heh, I saw plenty of that on Myspace as well before it tanked. Brought up a whole new meaning to the term stalker.
myspace stalkers had to do legwork- on FB, peeps use real names, say their who they work for, post their friggin addresses and phone numbers
Heh, if anything it’s made life easier for stalkers.
What do you expect from some presumptuous millenial phaggot of an author?
Exactly. As they say a “friend” will help you move. A “real friend” will help you move a body.
Since you mentioned having 400 “friends” on Facebook, something I’ve noticed over he last year or so is I don’t hear the word “friend” tossed around too often. A good deal of the time I hear people refer to someone as their buddy. It makes me wonder if people have redfined the word since the invention of sites like MySpace and Facebook.
Or maybe it’s just the cool thing to say these days.
I consider most people acquaintances.
Exactly.
I deleted my FB account a few years ago and apparently I deleted most of my friendships as well. Funny that. But after awhile of being disappointing, I came to the realization that most of those people only wanted something from me and never where there to fulfill anything I needed. I still have a few of my lieutenants that always were there and that is really all I need now. I’ll take a few good men over a FB army any day.
My generation may encounter more people, but building true bonds seems to be incredibly difficult. That is one of the reasons Ive concluded as to why I have a difficult time dating millennial women.
Without initially reading your comment I essentially posted almost the same thing. I am of the millennial generation (Born in 89) and I can tell you the way I seek out friendships is significantly different than vast majority of my counterparts of my generation. I have roughly 120 facebook (friends), 3 of which I rely on, on a consistent basis. My three most trusted buddies also would never do any of the contemptuous things that are talked about in this article, much like your friend(s).
Perhaps that is just life. You meet a few people and create bonds that last a lifetime. The other people are just pseudo friends or as I prefer to use the proper term, acquaintances. And its probably best that way because vast majority of the pseudo friends are just fake or real basic people in your life.
aren’t you special for being born a few decades earlier.
Stop, he’ll start bragging about his “hot” 45 year old wife…
So you’re saying millenials have zero choice as we’re being shoe horned into an ever-tightening gadget trap. Deep. The theory of predestination is a fascinating one, and is too nihilistic for some to even contemplate. Feminism or communism arr the low hanging fruit of philosophical theories, basically boiling down to gibsmedat, so are the go-to for today’s pseudo intellectuals. But according to predestination, perhaps they don’t even have a choice.
GOJ. We really bored of your shits. Why you are feeling like you have to post comment to every thread? Nobody cares what you think about any article they publish on ROK. Stahp it.
A real friend is there in the good times, but especially in the bad times.
They have to be willing to take a bullet for you or help dispose of a body right?
I have a couple of very very close friends, and I think I’m lucky. We go back years, share many of the same ideas/goals about self improvement. We have different life goals, but respect each other based on our all maintaining the same ethical, moral behavior.
Well done!!!
Never underestimate the factor of jealousy in every interaction you have with anyone. Most people today aren’t jealous, they’re hyperjealous and will curse you for having one more (fill in the blank) then they do.
In my experience, this used to exist mainly in the workplace, but has spread throughout pretty much every “social” setting.
Remember to keep 99.9999% of people at an arm’s length, minimum. And when it comes to trust, even less then that.
Men really need to see each other in order to maintain friendships; an upside to being a chick- they may not see each other for a long time, but gabbing on the phone keeps that relationship intact. Im about ready to write off one of my closest friends, he’d rather post shit on social media for his “friends” than give me a call these days. Last time I saw him, he mentioned he had become “friends” with some artist in Japan. In my head Im like “Really? Is he gonna come over from Kyoto when you get a flat tire and help you change it”? Its gotten really, really, really weird out there
Agreed. There are phases when guys have to be distant with each other for growth. I don’t imagine it is intentional but it is harder to become proficient at three different things in a short time frame and still have an hour to three set aside to just be in someone’s company. I do believe some of our strongest friendships are built by people we go through something emotional with, whether this is a sparring partner in the martial arts, a death in the family (yes I get the irony), a loss of a spouse, or even learning game. We need the mental scars to embed someone as a lifer in our mental friendship boxes.
yup, theres usually a good story, a bonding experience, behind male friendships. Im still friends with the guy who saved my life- psycho(later went to jail, now dead) tried to stab me with a long screw driver he had in his backpack. Friend saved me. May not be here if not for him
Interesting. I never was with anything emotional with any of my friends, but I will say that I usually had friends who shared the same basic mental scars I already had, like low self-esteem.
I know that this kind of male bonding is held in very high value around here, but I wonder if it is not simply based on an inability or unwillingness to let those scars heal. In an attempt to give those scars meaning.
Guess what, he probably just worshipped him. Why else would he feel the need to mention that the guy was an artist? It is when we project some astronomical value on famous people or whatever that we no longer see them as humans. In fact, we can not see them as humans, because that would devalue them and make them uninteresting to us, exposing how pointless the “friendship” was.
I’m thankful to have a handful of friends that I trust and love.
Took me a lot of rough experiences to learn that the majority of people I’ve known are sellouts though.
I think the strongest glue to friendships is knowing who will have your back during difficult times.
Which of your friends will encourage you to succeed but give you shit when you’re being an idiot?
Who will remember you at your best and your worst?
What about Christians? Any Christian guys here reckon guys from your church make better friends?
I reckon they would for some reason – less superficial, perhaps?
I have some good friends from my church that I meet up with to play cards with occasionally. My old church pushed the feminist narrative a lot more and is ultimately why my family left. My current church is more focused around the traditional marriage roles. Coincidence that I get along better with the guys there? I think not.
Unfortunately my church buddies are really blue pill about women.
In all seriousness, you might try looking at some other churches.
All the churches I can go to are cucked.
Might need to move somewhere else.
Where you live now if you don’t mind me asking?
Suburb. But no cash to move sorry.
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I’ve had some real good friends from church, lasting for years or decades. Others that I hoped would be friends never became such.
I did make a few good friends in the Catholic churches I used to attend as a kid, even managed to get dates. I did try to attend Proddie churches before quitting religion for good. I especially went to Pentecostal churches. People there did freak me out. It’s basically mind control out there. People are so tight knit it’s suffocating. Two things in their favor though. For one, the girls are smoking hot, and if you have decent game, a bit gullible. And somehow, they manage to make weddings and Sweet 15s fun without alcohol.
I don’t think so. I grew up outside of church then converted when I was 23. My closer friends came from before. With the church, I have a broader network, but not the closer friends. Although, it could be just my phase in life.
Twice-born since 1998, and the guys at my church are ordinary, hard-working stiffs like myself. The leaders have thankfully proven to be immune to the Feminism virus.
Any true Christian will put an emphasis on things like trust, respect and fellowship.
Friendship died the day that game consoles started coming with only one controller.
Any friend that has a single-player only game is no friend of mine.
skyrim or die mutha fucka
I used to play Skyrim.
Then I took an arrow to the knee.
That would make for a really weird bumpersticker
I know the feelz
Skyrim remastered will be great. Also Elder Scrolls 6 is in the making.
not true, I cant tell you how many “friends” my former close pal found on xbox live. One of them lives in spain, hes in NYC. Imagine that? bonding over total gamer points
So true. I remember the summer of 95 dusting of the old Atari console and bullshitting with our neighbors until the hot West Texas sun went down, then we went outside.
…
I might be the only former gamer who didnt like HALO
Actually, you aren’t the only one. It’s always been a typical FPS to myself and after Goldeneye every one seemed the same to me.
Well, I thought Bioshock was amazing, and it was FPS. The coolest/weirdest games were on PS2, Psychonauts, that game where you had to scale those giant stone things
the giant stone things
Never got to play that one, but you’re right, the PS2 was one of the best systems and games that were out at the time. I have one on moth balls for when my current one goes out, and no one, not even the wife, is allowed to touch them.
My buddies and I used to gather religiously every Friday night to play Xbox up until about 7 or 8 years ago (mind you, we were all well into our 30s with jobs, families, etc.) But I’ve long since stopped playing entirely because I can no longer get a damn one of them to come over and play over a couple of beers.
Video game bonding ended with the absence of coop-mode in Halo 5.
I really don’t know much about it. I just thought I sounded clever lol
No worries, it sounds very clever.
If you’re even a semi-close friend of mine, I have a policy of saying “yes” to whatever my friends ask something of me. Now, not many are that dependable to me, and I wish that were different, but I’m not going to stop. I enjoy honoring friendships and being a responsible honest and trustworthy, dependable man they can count on.
A side benefit, I met a girl at a party recently, we had many mutual friends, and they gave her such glowing endorsements of me, I didn’t know who they were talking about. You never really have a good idea of what your reputation is, but you can help it by being a good friend.
However, I do agree with the crux of this article, and while I can pick up some friendships after a gap of years, others will fade away if you don’t hang out and talk regularly.
I have very few friends and all of them are spread around the world with none of them living in NYC. So I have 0 real time friends. My friendships are based on a solid foundation of “it is is interesting or funny, email or message me…otherwise I will talk to you next year or whenever”
I don’t think there is anyone in the world who believes they could ask me for a favor and reasonably expect a response that isn’t either total non-acknowledgement or possibly laughter.
I have paid a price for this, of course, in that there is no one I can reasonably expect to get a favor from.
For me this is the superior way. However, depending on your nature, YMMV
If I visit NYC can I crash your pad?
HAR!
only if you agree to polish his chainsaw collection
lol
“Is that rain coat?”
“Yes it is!”
my soul animal.
I feel weird saying it, but I find him cute. Not in a sexual manner, mind you. More like a monkey in the zoo that tries to impress people by learning sentences that sound smart.
I kinda see what you mean… He is likeable in a some kind of really weird way…
I think it might be that he has a kind of innocence about him. He is obviously evil but he comes by it honestly. His complete lack of understanding and sense of consequence makes him childlike as a character.
Yes, exactly, he is child-like. Even when he is in rage, well, it’s kinda cute.
Could be worse; polishing his knob.
Someone should have killed it when it was small.
Crash at mine bruh.
Haha noted
Wanna help me move?
I can motivate you by telling you that if you don’t move you will be wearing my shoe in your ass.
Can you feed my poodle while I’m in the military ?
France has a military?
Indeed. With state of the art technology:
you make these yourself?
Yeah a small but very active one, still using the Napoleonian system the entire military world ripped off from us, and involved in most current African shitstorms.
But I must confess that compaired to yours we’re still very late regarding transgender friendly policies and affirmative action. And our secretary of the army is not even gay. What a shame.
Spared no expense.
I think that was originally a joke about Italians
You probably don’t even have wymyn serving in the Front, do you?
That burns.
Don’t care. Still hilarious.
They got the Foreign Legion. Nuff said.
Had a beer with a French naval pilot from the de Gaulle once. Nice fellow, glad I was never on the receiving end of one of his bombs though.
No it’s not.
It’s a LITTLE funny:
HA!
Boom!
This is what we get for having saved the English army’s butt at Dunkirk. Ungrateful anglo-saxons !
Ungrateful? I got you a fucking tank! WHO’S ungrateful?
I google search most of them.
I fart in your general direction !
Your mother was a hamster!
Go and boil your bottoms, son of a silly person!
You do not frighten me you, silly pig-dog!
Well, theoretically.
Oh please.
Touche.
Dig this:
http://dai.ly/x3mf0gl
I will give your poodle to Koreans.
I have paid a price for this, of course, in that there is no one I can reasonably expect to get a favor from.
All it takes to break that theory is for somebody to actually do favors for you out of friendship without expectation of reciprocation. Eventually it wears down that hard cynical outer coat.
I believe that…but I like my outer coat. If anything, it has been as true a friend to me as anyone ever could.
That’s right. I’m the LAST person to ask a favor, but that’s one of the many fundamentals of true friendship.
I’ve tried to put money in the hands of a friend who helped with major projects. Their response: “Get the hell outta’ here. You couldn’t pay me enough so I do it for free.”
That’s a true friend, and I’d do it for him.
“If a man presses you to walk a mile, walk 2 miles with him.”
I have a small circle of people I keep constant contact with, along with a wide net of acquaintences from my crossfit gym.
The rest have faded into the background for one reason or another, usually based on three factors
Location, Circumstances, and usefulness.
The first two are obvious because it’s harder to remain friends with a classmate if they live hundreds of miles away, or if they’re married and have kids.
Usefulness is one that’s unique to me. I hate lazy people, and I have cast plenty of people out who never wanted to do anything because it was “too much work.”
I’ve heard it said you can judge a man’s character by who he is friends with. What does it say about an ambitious man if all of his friends are fat couch potatoes?
I have been thinking a lot about friendship in the past 6 months, because i retreated from a special social group i had (mostly men). I noticed that, like the post says, if you do not cultivate with your presence that friendship, its going to die or at least its going to be very weak.
The question is: why do you go away? This is the important thing to reflect on.
In my case, i had enough. The same faces, the same ideas, the same places, the same routine for years. Good to go out and hit on some women, but no more than that. No sophisticated or different subjects to discuss, no truly meaningful things to talk about. The same lame and stupid crap.
So, one night, i began to ask myself…What do i learn from this? Is this making me a better men or am i just spending money, time and energy in some stupid routine? The answer was clear. It comes a time in men life, when we either mature and become ambitious in our life, or we just simply give up and live in the matrix, with no greater purpose, no peace, no fulfillment, addicted to a life of no greater purpose, but only meaningless hedonism.
There was a time in my life i needed that routine and those kind of friends, now, i tremble just to consider it. May i ad that, i did not receive a message, a phone call or a email from neither of those guys in these last 6 months apart from some very subtle interaction via Facebook with one of them. The will however to bond again, is simply not there. I am content that i made that choice. In my current life, i rather prefer going to a museum and travel, than spent money in a bar, get drunk and repeat it again in the coming weekend.
One has to invest in himself in order to grow and my advice is to not bee afraid of parting way. Its life. And guess what: you will find new, better friends that will give a special meaning to your existence. I did.
I use two movies I watched many times growing up as a kid to illustrate important lessons about friends: Sandlot and stand by me (I hate rob reiner, but this is the only movie of his I’ll watch).
Sandlot’s lesson is a subtle one, in that you make the most of your friendships at that time without actively trying to plan every step of it. There’s also a useful test in Sandlot for determining if they were true friends of yours: if you have mementos from your time with them, that occupy a special place. Then that was a genuine friendship.
Stand by me’s lesson was more obvious since the whole sub plot is what happens when your friendship is based mostly on convenience. As soon as the convenience goes away, you will drift apart, and you won’t realize what you’ve lost until something bad happens such as a friend’s death or something.
I disagree that one has to necessarily have any form of “extraordinary” life. In fact, I would say the best life is a life that is simply in unison with ones own individual nature. “Normalcy” should really mean that. To do the things that keep the mind, body and spirit healthy. That may not need to involve anything special, but getting drunk and echo chambering does not sound very satisfactory nor healthy.
Hunting parties and adventuring parties are much superior to being a wasted invalid.
“getting drunk and echo chambering does not sound very satisfactory nor healthy.”
Amen! That is the question i asked myself and never turned back. Things were getting way out off hand.
I am sure my story is common. About 18 months ago, I relocated, along with my family for work. Since then, I developed several acquaintances (coworkers, at church, neighbors, etc.), but no close friends. My wife, on the other hand, has the time during the day to hang out with neighbors and get to know them well. I come home from work, she makes me food, I play with the kids while she cleans up dinner, we put them to bed, go walk with the wife, then go to bed. Rinse, repeat. The weekends are usually busy doing repairs or something fun with the family. The guys I know are in a similar boat, we invite others over or something, but 90% of the time, someone is sick, or repairs need done, or whatever. I love my family and enjoy the time I spend with them, but sometimes I would rather go tear up a 4×4 road, break things, and do the guy stuff that I did back in my single days.
Start making it a priority to do so. Not every day or every week, but plan a mens night out with some buddies and take off hunting or fishing or whatever the heck it is you like to do as a group every couple of months. Expecting men to be “stay at home 24/7” is entirely new to our civilization and is NOT healthy for men.
Agreed, it is one of the few topics my wife and I fight about. Last week, I went with the Boy Scouts on a week long summer camp. Even though it was hanging out with a bunch of 12-16 year olds, it was like a breath of fresh air to get a little rowdy again. What ticks me off is how many of the guys my age are so caught up being a good provider/family man that they totally neglect their warrior side. Even when I was in my early 20’s, it was difficult to convince anyone to do something adventurous if it didn’t involve beer or women.
I think hanging out with the bros would also help the marriage because of the masculine influence.
Observations on friendship:
1) I’ve come to realize that my closest friends are those I grew up with from my hometown. No matter how different we are, we still have the fact that we grew up in the same town and went to the same schools that bonds us together. I noticed when I went to college finding it truly hard to connect with people because we didn’t have that bond, instead we were strangers from strange places who would bond because of shared interests or movies we liked, but without that “tribal” thing.
2) I was born in the mid-80s, and I can’t deal with people born in the 90’s. I made a friend a few years back who was born in 1990 who I shared a lot of common interests with and we would hang out a lot, until he disappeared. Even before that he would flake like girls do on Tinder dates, though – Many times he’d contact me to hang out, I’d tell him to come over at 9, and then he just wouldn’t show up. 3 days later I’d get a text making up some excuse for why he couldn’t make it. Another dude born in 1991 sometimes texts me out of the blue and asks me what’s up or says he wants to hang. When I respond he goes silent and never responds – This is like what attention-whoring girls do to get your hopes up or get little bits of validation. I have no doubt that a pussy father or being raised by a single mother contributes to these types of dudes.
3) As nerdy as this sounds, a lot of friends I really connect with are people I’ve “met” through forums or Facebook groups where we share common interests. And I’d consider a lot of these people friends, except for one thing…..We’ve never met in person. But there’s a guy in Maine who I can have heart-to-hearts with, there’s a guy in Virginia who I can talk shop and career advice with, etc. We also have no intentions of meeting, either, unless one of us is in town for something else. It’s not a traditional friendship, but at the same time these are kinds of people I never could’ve met where I’m living right now.
As someone else already stated, I think meaningful male friendships require meeting in person. I think men generally connect best when doing something together – camping, hunting, fishing, tinkering, renovating – and, in that context, talking about whatever comes to mind – politics, philosophy, religion, sports, history, pussy, whatever. As I said above though, it’s tough in this culture for men to form new relationships. I think a combination of feminism and homosexuality discourage, sexualize and stigmatize it.
I’m right there with you. My parents are in their mid 70’s and it must be those old school values that alienate me from others close to my age and younger. (Raised in the 80′ as well) I was taught to let my “yes mean yes” and keep my word.
So it’s maddening to deal with men who flake. I just couldn’t wrap my head around such inconsistent behavior.
I like your theory on “pussy dad’s and single mothers” fostering these
man-boys along. Sounds in the ball park.
Now, in my late 30’s, I’ve pruned a lot of people out of my life and have been the better for it. The few that remain are the one’s that count.
Most people lack integrity, at least in western civilizations. Like all the superfluous tech they clamor to buy; here today, gone tomorrow.
I’ve been doing the same, only focusing my efforts on those who deserve my respect. It’s also ironic that flaking is more prevalent than ever in the smartphone age. I never used to get flaked on prior to about 2009. Now almost everyone has a device on them that can accept calls, texts, tweets, IMs, emails, etc., and yet they’ll still ignore your efforts to reach out saying they never got it.
I’m slowly but surely losing my middleschool friends (my only ones). Most of them are in the capital and take time to be with their pedestalized “girlfriend”, embracing the baby boomer’s way of life : long studies ,a bourgeois confortable life, a wife growing uglier and no real male friends (’cause you know, when you live like this, you sweetheart makes sure you only socialize with couples).
Happens to all unfortunately. I noticed this in my early 20’s when many of my friends were getting married while I was out with a different woman every weekend. Eventually the invitations dwindled to nothing, as many of the wives viewed me as the escaped slave with news of freedom about life off the plantation and they couldn’t have that.
Now I’m the recently married and they’re all divorced. Go figure.
Barf.
The strength of the nation and that of patriarchy is the bonds between men. Once those bonds are gone. So does the nation and so does the marriage.
It’s why generalised military service is so important, I think.
The difference between an acquaintance and a friend, is about 20 years.
Your group of real close friends does dwindle over time but this is a good thing-quality over quantity. Also being a guy of 38, some guy friends have gone off and got married and had kids so you don’t see them much anymore. Typical dominant wives that don’t let them leave the house much. That’s the only part of it that saddens me.
The worst is if they ask you if you’re single, and if so… why you’re not looking to go down that road.
That’s a HUGE red flag for me, because it tells me she is evil to her core.
They hate that I’m unmarried-they want me on the plantation and see me as a threat more than anything. They don’t give a shit about me finding a special snowflake, they just don’t want me giving their guy any ideas of freedom like a runaway slave.
The myth of the ball busting wife who won’t let their husbands socialize with anyone but them is just that– a myth. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but many, I would dare say the majority, actually enjoy spending time with their wife and kids.
Its not a myth, I can speak from experience
I half agree. I do know many men who enjoy their children immensely but the wife is another story. I hear it more than not. Also many wives themselves express very little interest or enjoyment in their husbands. They live for the kids, the husband is secondary at best.
Friends are people who help each other maintain the illusion of their own grandeur…
If you need more than two hands (and in most cases one) to count your number of genuine friends, you’re kidding yourself.
I only need my middle finger.
somebody needs a hug!
Rule: Men and women aren’t friends and never will be.
This 100%
There is simply no such thing as a male female friendship. There is male male friendship, but it is rare and only necessary if you want it. Whether or not true female female friendship is possible I do not know, though I strongly doubt.
When she says: “We’re just friends” she really means “I’m going to suck him dry for whatever I want until I cut him loose.”
When a guy says: “We’re just friends” he really means “She’s just a chick I haven’t fucked yet.
That “copping a feel” shot must be FWB, come on, now.
The “better than nothing” clown is surely a gaylord.
I think so. But it’s a friendship like how a master is to a slave.
It’s more like a host-parasite relationship.
Simply stated, Men need to understand this.
I like the way you think.
Totally agree. I’ve been reading about the way men and women evolved. We were hunters and gatherers for the majority of our evolution. Men had comradery with other men, women with women.
Lately I’ve decided to invest more time in comradery with male friends, and put female friends in the “sexual purposes only” category. This has been very liberating. If a girl gets flirty during conversation, than I’ll put her in that category. If she is strictly intellectual (or her attempt at being intellectual) then I cut her loose.
Sometimes being friends with a girl eventually leads to sex, but it’s usually an enormous waste of time. You can sleep with a lot more women during the time it takes to break down that friend zone wall.
In terms of the male comradery, a lot of american men have super weak male relationships. Most men I know think it’s weird to get a text from me more than once a week. In stark contrast, during my time in Colombia, Guatemala, and Mexico, I made a bunch of buddies immediately, and we went out almost every night.
I try to explain to my buddies here (Southern California) that women are drawn to a fun group of guys more than a lone wolf, but most of them don’t get it.
Like many of you, I lost most of my friends when I committed myself to being a truth seeker (red pill). Like many of you, I used to be on Facebook, years ago, and became gradually more disgusted at the one-sided nature of leftist “debate”. I realized my friends and even my family held their cherished leftist indoctrination above all else, even above the people they loved. As a truth seeker, my only choice is to leave these willfully blind sheep behind.
How many of us are out there? A few hundred thousand? We need to figure out these meetups and start forming bonds between the awakened, in real life. The internet truth machine doesn’t have much longer to live, especially if Hillary wins. Sorry but I am not going to spend a ton of time joking around with the clowns on the RV Forum in order to build up trust and gain admittance to secret meetups. There’s got to be a better way.
Many of us default to individualism, even isolation. That is not the path forward to victory. We must unite behind our common ideals and rise up as a solidified force. Our enemies are incredibly strong and unified in their purpose to destroy us.
The best way is to prepare your children for the future.
Agreed. My son’s are home schooled.
I’d love to hear ideas others might have, but my instinct is to go with holding open meetups, and use hired or volunteer security to keep the event safe, plus public relations techniques to balance the media coverage.
Exactly. We should push the meetups that Roosh cancelled. I am personally very tired of being online. Let’s build momentum and spread the message.
You got it, bro.
I wish I had the reach of Roosh, I’d be trying this myself. Maybe someday.
Not to criticize him. But personally I think the time is right to lose the fear, and go forward proudly and openly. Nearly all Trump voters can be counted on as allies of our movement to varying degrees, and that is tens/hundreds of millions of people. The momentum is ours right now, let’s take it forward into meatspace.
We are going to need our own Street Crews and Shock Troops to counter these violent protestors though. We need our own volunteer security forces. If it’s not just a bunch of keyboard commandos, there should be plenty of Based Bad Asses who are more than willing to stand up and defend our right to free association and assembly.
Are we going to have to go back to the days of Skinhead Gangs? I don’t know….but imagine if you were a young White student in a typical urban high school right now. You’d be scared shitless.
You are being too ambitious, though. I would start by creating bonds among the existing red pillers, before expanding. I personally have never been redpiller offline and I am not going to risk anything with people that I just met.
The main thing I advocate is becoming entrepreneurial and financially independent so that you can say and do whatever the hell you want without fear. The goal should be ZFG. The threat of doxxing should be laughed off.
But yes, it takes time to get there. We better hurry though, time is running short.
Imagine if we could form a large network of red-pilled small business owners who would commit to patronizing each other. That would really speed things along, wouldn’t it?
Forget about red-pill SMBs. We do not control law. Laws will be made against us.
Well sorry. Those laws already exist. We need to build momentum among the populace.
Perhaps you misunderstand. I advocate forming networking and fraternal organizations among truth seekers who own small businesses. Nothing illegal about that.
Things are legal until someone else makes them illegal.
I agree that real meetings need to happen. The Internet forum can only go so far. Honestly, in some places (like where I’m from) I think the only way to have the meetups is under the guise of something more benign like a men’s fantasy football gathering. Crazy that it’s come to that but at least it would be a start. The way the meetups went down was total insanity.
Like fight club?
A few hundred thousand in the US or globally? Either way it’s not a lot and I wonder if it’s even that many? My perception is really distorted though… I live in Toronto Canada and I’m deep undercover. It feels like I’m the only one in this City who reads ROK. I only discovered the site after the meetup hysteria got me curious. I’ve been hooked since. Really interesting and diverse content. Even the stuff that has little practical value for me I find interesting to read.
I accidentally had the ROK home page open on my smartphone a little while back during a meeting at work. I almost had a heart attack when I thought the girl sitting beside me noticed it. Honestly, I wonder if it might not be grounds for getting a guy fired around here.
It’s hard to develop friendships when you bounce around a lot. I have a core group of people who are undoubtedly people who would take a bullet for me, and I’d do the same for them. I’ve known those people for at least 35 years. We’ve been through times of great sacrifice and triumph together. Some have moved away and some I see every day. People who’ve shared experiences like long hiking trips, flown (as pilots) together, worked together are but a few examples of some of the things that separates the wheat from the chaff vis a vis a true friend.
Of my close circle of friends, there’s one I grew up with. We learned to fly together, we learned about women together, we experienced the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat and helped each other out along the way. He had to move to another state and we only see each other maybe once a year. You know it’s a real friendship when you don’t hear from or see them for several months and you don’t even question it because you don’t even think about why.
In the mix of people in my close circle, there’s only one woman, my wife. Every other woman I know with the exception of one isn’t worth shit. When you have true friends you’ve had for a long time it becomes very obvious when you run across some superficial glad-hander. Pretty much every chick I run across is is just out for herself.
I keep a small, loyal tribe of true friends that survive over time. I was fortunate enough to start many of these in the Midwest because it’s slim pickings out in LA when it comes to integrity. Just like the dating scene here, finding other guys you can even talk on the level with is a challenge. It sounds like no big deal but a person without a true social network, not the online/Facebook bullshit, is more vulnerable to the ebbs and flows life throws at them. As the author mentioned, humans are social out of survival. Politically divide and conquer is undefeated. Once a group is unorganized and individually isolated, they are much easier to control or eliminate.
Many of use middle agers and older kept our friends because we hung around them all of the time. There was no internet or smart phones, and we sure as hell didn’t travel the world at 18. Most of us busted our asses in low wage jobs just to have fun money during high school and college, and to put money in the gas tank if you planned on being allowed to continue to use a car.
Yup. That resulted in being physically present among a group of friends for nearly 60 hours a week.
Much healthier way to grow up.
I’m in a somewhat similar boat. I had my first cellphone at 16 but not a “smart” phone until I was about 20. I think it definitely hinders the ability for people to meet up. Because you don’t have to decline someone face to face. You can either ignore their calls or just text them some BS excuse.
I try as hard as I can to get my friends together as much as possible. It’s easier for me to do that because I’m a single guy and enjoy doing things and having fun. But I can see some of my “friends” back out of plans or just flat our ignore me via social media and use of their phones. I do somewhat envy those who lived in a time where people actually had to build genuine relationships with others instead of psuedo friendships that never last.
They are a distraction. The less you have the better
The red pill ended most of my friendships, but at this point in my life (happily married/early 40s), it makes little difference to me. Between family and more hobbies than one person should have, I lack the time and the inclination to be social unless work demands it.
I do dispense and receive help on various hobby projects and whatnot from neighbors, but that’s once or twice a month, maybe. Life’s too short, and the wife and I are perfectly content on our own for the most part.
Would you still be content if the wife disappeared? (for any reason?)
Good article. I did have one or two friends in my life that were really worth it, but eventually it drifted apart either way. None of us blamed each other, though.
Then there were the people I came into contact with while studying web development. In hindsight, those were not friends. But they made me feel good because they needed me – I was good at what I was doing.
And then there was this guy whom I had thought of as a good friend, because he was very confident and made me feel really good about myself. On the more realistic side, it was simply him building a “family” around himself. It was hardly an equal-level friendship. He mostly just needed me, like the people from university. I was good at videos and he was into it and, as I said, always made me feel very good about myself. But in the end, I realized that he had just been taking from me – services, advice, knowledge, work and equipment – without really giving anything back. He was one of those people motivating you with the bullshit “just grow with me” thing – where does that even come from? Only that I had already grown and was good at what I was doing. It was he who needed growing. But still, he made me feel good about myself, and I felt I really needed it at the time. The last time we had contact I basically borrowed him some 8.000 EUR worth of filming equipment including my services to operate it for a project. He did not pay me and he did not even bother to return to me the memory card with the material that I gave to him after we had finished. I eventually called the friendship quits very officially and in not very nice terms, which made him call me a psycho and whatever. Truth is, I had always considered him somewhat dumb and unskilled in what he was doing, but I was never really honest about it, because, as I said, I liked the way he made me feel about myself. As I ended the friendship, I basically told him all that in an attempt to at least finally be honest. I did not truly want to be his friend, I had just liked how he had made me feel about myself (yeah, repeating myself).
You know whats wierd. My REAL friends aren’t even on FB. I’m not even FB friends with my girlfriend. FB is basically just old highschool friends and some people I meat once from the gym.
People you meat?
Yeah, Meat Bags.
I thought they had something to do with your meat.
Its was a typo dude. No deed to make a big deal about it.
Go outside, I’m sure there are some lost puppy flyers you could take a red pen to.
I’m very sorry. I did not meat to upset you.
Eh, did you accipurposely write “deed”?
I don’t feal like doing that.
You are a cunt. I hope thats really you in the picture.
Why should I give a damn what you think?
You can fix typos.
Ha.
Just say you meant meat recipient. Christ, whatta bunch of whiners over petty shit.
Yes but then the following conversation beneath it would look very strange. I’m ok with the fact that I made a mistake. Let it go down in history.
I think I’ve always been red pill when it comes to friendship. I’ve always looked for real connections with people and ones that were consistent. I have 4-5 buddies who I can constantly rely on and then an additional 10 or so people in my life who I cannot rely on but are still “friends”. True friendship is a tie that cannot be severed.
It’s hard not to notice how many “friends” women claim to have, but they cannot rely on any of those people. And often they talk shit behind each others’ back. Was out for a bachelor party in a nicer portion of my hometown and we ran into my best friends’ sisters’ friends’ bachelorette party (that’s a lot to say). There was one girl I was attracted to and all her “friends” said: “we invited her, but we hate her and think she’s a bitch.” Yet they claim to be best of friends and she was included in this party of theirs. Women will turn on each other in an instant and that seems to prove how pointless and often irrelevant the word “friendship” and “loyalty” is to them.
Maybe the closest thing a woman can have to a real friend is a male friend. He will keep running after her, being nice to her, doing her favors, and never even mention that he wants to bang her.
That’s a great point. what a pitiful existence lol
Indeed. I know it too well.
I did as well. I owe this site some credit for teaching me new ways to fix my own mistakes when it comes to not caring about dating and working on myself. I used to care too much, get too frustrated and try too hard. Now I couldn’t care at all really ha
Glad to hear, brother.
I know this guy who is beta to the max. He’s obese and has no game. Friendzones himself with every girl he’s ever tried to hit on and then goes to facebook and complains about his failures with women. We used to tell him all the time why he fails but he refuses to acknowledge his mistakes. Some people are immune to good advice….
I don’t think it has anything to do with truth or lies. I think it is a mental / emotional illness that forces you to behave that way, brought by through parental abuse in childhood.
Like an OCD.
Your friend gives a whole new meaning to the word “betamax”.
His behavior is deplorable to say the least, but he does it to himself. About a year ago or so I gave up on giving him sound advice since it seems as if he wills all of this on himself. He basically denies everything red pill stands for and thinks friendship is a way to a woman’s heart…
Maybe also lack of real “connection” with parents.
I would perhaps count that as abuse, but I can see how you would make a distinction.
Looks more like having a weak-, or no father- figure…
I would count that as neglect.
“Neglect” is synonymous with “ignore”…If there is no one there to ignore you, you can not be neglected.
🙂
I respectfully disagree. The soul knows what it wants.
I respect Your respectfulness.
🙂
I can almost see the mantra of the new global bolshevism.
The state is your only friend, the state is your family, trust no one, betray the unbelievers and entrust the state to deliver your ‘freedom’
Study Aristotle and Aquinas to learn what true friendship is about.
50% of American don’t have one close friend. I find most people are walking around with masks on and talking about super fictional bullshit.
“Your biggest favors will either not be remembered by friends or will look far less generous later on”
This.
A few years ago I stopped doing favors. Just stopped. I found that it’s a waste of time. Not only do people never remember it, but as the author points out doing a favor for someone can actually harm the relationship. If you help someone become successful the last thing they want is to be reminded that they owe someone else for their position.
I found this post to be a great read as to why you might want to stop helping others: http://www.cammipham.com/helping/
PS – I still help close friends and family. Sometimes. But others? Meh.
Meet ups would likely create long-lasting true friendships from like-minded brothers here. It’s true as we have gained red pill wisdom, old friendships atrophied and have fallen off as old friends failed at life or failed to grow in wisdom. We need to start planning meetups again and connecting.
Reciprocality.
If a “friend” does not feel enriched by my presence…he erases therewith my need for him, as well (and vice versa). Who should, or should not act first?….Simple: if a friend (or you) can hold out without ANY contact with each other for a period longer that you (or he) can go without food…fuck that friendship.
Then, it is either just an acquaintance…or nothing.
Sounds kind of needy… and gay. Imagine a world where friends need to see each other as often as they need to eat food.
No thanks.
I wrote about the need for association with peers…which is ingrained in ALL humans (see: zoon politikon)… and true friendship is not just an association for the purpose of alleviating material necessity.
It is an active wish to share experiences of life…and mutually enhance personal growth of each other.
“Monk-modes” and “lonely wolf lifestyle” may sound “romantic” and “sublime”…but are, more often then not, less the result of a conscious choice…but, a necessity, born out of lack of BETTER options.
In a tribe….someone hunts, someone sows…someone heals….someone fights…but in the evening, all gather around the fire…and SHARE.
Also…I choose to translate Your “gay” as “merry”. So, no offence taken.
Cheers. 🙂
p.s. I can stay without food for a VERY, very long time. My friends, as well. Can You? ;))
It’s got a lot to do with how your parents raised you. If you have Judeo-Christian values, you’re more likely to identity genuine friends and if you were raised by modern feckless parents then you’ll likely turn into a fall-for-anything-and-stand-for-nothing empty shell of a person. Oh, and I attended The State of Man lecture in Toronto/Miss. last year and yes, I would agree that the guys there would fall into the “genuine” category. Didn’t meet the guys in the Roosh Montreal nightclub/bar video but I would fight elbow-to-elbow with those dudes.
Are these the same guys in the video seen shoving him back to his hotel room instead making sure the drink throwing white trash sow screaming “eat my pussy” and all her white knights got ktfo?
This is about a person’s character and judgement. It would’ve been an act of self-defense to have responded physically to those people but to have a fight in a politically hostile foreign country and in that particular situation, well you should learn to pick your battles. The justified fight is defending the weak from an aggressor and THAT fight would’ve resulted in a protracted legal and publicity battle that would’ve been extremely costly.
Don’t associate with unworthy people in an attempt to fill the gaping void inside you that you yourself created. Don’t expect to be rewarded for anything you do. Virtue is its own reward.
fuck friends, the only thing a friend will do is take something from you,
https://www.yahoo.com/celebrity/mass-teen-stand-trial-manslaughter-220023831.html
another good example
Everyone on the comments is jerking each other off and I think I’m going to be sick.
I fucking hate everything about this website. The people here are hateful asshole. The arrticles are about as well written as a middle school essay and every time I read anything I feel myself incrementally get stupider. And I’m still not as dense as you ego maniacle fuckwits.
But yet you keep coming back.
Scholar steel would like a liberal bannana jammed up his ass to make himself feel better.
You appear stupid enough to keep reading so it makes your claim of getting stupider kind of stupid.
So an unfriend on Facebook is the end of a relationship? Maybe you should stop using Facebook so you can keep your friends
One thing is 100% true. I mean it’s your real friend, who knows you, your character, your life enough to know exactly when you need help, or when he/she simply needs to be by your side. And of course a true friend is someone who would not be jealous of you. That’s for sure.