Our current society is over-sexed, beyond any shadow of a doubt. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not immune to it, either. I’ve simply come to understand much of the problem and mass epidemic of garish sexuality that plagues the west right now, and it’s affecting absolutely everybody.
Everything today is overtly sexual in nature, from advertising to music videos to the way girls dress out in public, right down to the pictures they post of themselves on Instagram, which are as soft-core pornographic and borderline smut as it gets these days. Boy, the lengths you’ve got to go nowadays to get attention. Conspicuous, ain’t it?
Porn itself has become harder-edged than ever before, with revenge porn, all manner of fetish porn, and emotionless fucking taking center stage. A lot of it might be arousing, but hell, it’s ain’t even sex. It’s an aberration of sex and it doesn’t take a psychologist to understand that it has absolutely nothing to do with love, nor the original purpose of sex, which I’ll get into in just a minute.
As a result of this overt sexuality running rampant nowadays, our dopamine stores are sorely vexed and running on damn near empty. We have troubles getting off, as a society.
Yet, everyone wants sex. All the time, seemingly, if you can deduce anything from peoples’ talk and online behavior. It’s almost manic in nature, the way people laud on about sex. Of course, the window dressing promises you something entirely different than the stark reality that lies beneath all of this bullshit and it’s high time we woke up and smelled the house burning.
Superimposed is the image of sexuality these days, looking vibrant and abundant. It seems everyone’s getting a piece of the action. Reality, however, couldn’t be any further from the truth.
Starving At The Sex Buffet
At the same time that this over-influx of sexuality is taking over like the plague, relationships are languishing far and wide from the lack of intimacy and nil sexual intercourse between actual couples. This has been well-documented all across the board in recent years by everyone from family counselors to sex therapists to psychologists. Statistically, it is shown in study after study, that couples are having less sex than every before right now.
For men, porn has largely taken hold of their imagination, dulling the libidinous blade considerably and sabotaging their dopamine tanks, which are essential (and to be rationed) as a trigger for sexual stimulus response. As a side-note, this is probably why the frequency of sex teeters off to two or three times a week for most married couples, but that amount generally doesn’t present a problem to those in long-term relationships.
Granted, cellphones, tablets, laptops, and iPads play a huge part in this aforementioned emotional detachment, which sees both parties in the relationship being swept away mentally into alternate realities and useless brain clutter in the form of inane entertainment and facetious “news” that are as quickly forgotten as they are ingested. People are way too mentally engaged with what may as well be deemed white noise (which, for those of you who are too young to know, was the static white screen of fuzz from old school TV sets when the channel didn’t show) and everyone is paying a huge price for this. Yet, the majority are so numbed by their chosen tech drug, that they don’t even recognize — nor are willing to accept — this utterly tripe reality of the way things truly are these days.
And so we come to the area of casual sex, which seems to be the most sought-after kind of actual sex on the market today. Easy flings, no attachments. Getting laid is the top priority, superceding everything else. Superficiality to the umpteenth degree and the age of Tinder. Just the quick release, because real attachment is way too scary and requires far too much work. We want easy lays these days.
Since everyone wants to get laid, what’s so wrong with casual sex, then? Let’s break it down.
The Law Of Diminishing Returns
First of all, the proof is already in the pudding: nothing sticks anymore. You don’t have to look any further than the writing on the wall. Stick a piece of tape enough times on any surface of your choosing, pull it off, repeat said process until the glue wears off and all you have left is a useless, used piece of tape, ready to be thrown away. And yeah, statistics show that there are more broken marriages, fleeting romances, single parents, and disenchanted singles today that at any recordable point prior. This is already a social epidemic.
The arguments to get into a serious relationship aren’t there, due to the superficial values that people hold these days. In that light, it’s no surprise that the fish aren’t taking the bait. What is there to win? What is there to be had? If I give something up (read: a part of my personal freedom to be with you), what do I gain (read: how will you contribute to make my life better)?
Well, the only thing to be had is quick, casual sex, after which you get the hell out of there, and trust me, that shit gets old fast. Motörhead had it right when Lemmy sang sometimes the chase is better than the catch. Once you pop the cork, the anticipation is done. The thrill of the kill is over. That thrill, folks, is a one-time occurrence with every single new catch.
Were there key arguments to sticking around, a whole lot of men and women would be forming lasting, healthy relationships after one night stands and casual flings. Point blank, that is the truth.
Yet, it doesn’t happen. And it’s obvious why: neither party have bothered to invest their time into seeing whether there is anything worth of value underneath the initially attractive surface.
It’s called window dressing, folks. It’s the icing on the cake, not the substance underneath. The base could just as well be made of dog shit and people would eat it anyway, based on appearances (read: the outer core). We’ve become so goddamned hedonistic and lazy that we may as well just lie in the bed that we’ve made for ourselves, but that ain’t the formula for happiness or contentment.
The Key My Father Taught Me
My father is a wise man and I was lucky enough to get a good degree of mentoring from him about life as I was growing up. As a preacher amongst small, immigrant communities in Canada in the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s, Dad counselled many newly married or otherwise married couples as part of his pastoral job. There’s something that my father said to me one day, back when I was a young man: ”Son, don’t get intimately involved with a woman too early. It messes up her emotional radar.”
What my father implied was that becoming sexually involved too early with a girl fogs the mind and you don’t end up making calculated, wise decisions or discernments about the person, nor do you see them in the light of reality as they truly are. I would argue that this works both ways. You don’t know whether the other person is capable of negotiation, compromise or if they even want to do the job that would be required of them from your point of need in a possible serious relationship. You end up in a dreamworld of self-fabricated ideals and expectations, because your emotions are running the show and euphoria is high.
Why is this? Because you simply cannot touch another person more intimately, than through the act of sex. And this act, in and of itself, especially when it’s new, clouds one’s rational judgement.
Whether we want to admit it or not, sex goes deeper than the skin. It touches the spirit. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be so wounded and devastated after break-ups. It’s a 3D experience: it messes with the mind, it touches the spirit and it is a bodily, physical interaction. Mind, body, spirit — get it?
Therefore, it’s simply foolhardy to become intimate with someone you hardly even know. There’s no foundation of trust, no familiarity, no depth whatsoever. Yet, you end up going to the deepest part of another, touching their most intimate inner person, without even knowing them.
Oh, I know that as a strapping young lad, many hate to hear this. The truth is rarely convenient for any of us. No apologies, guys. I am only sharing what life has taught me as I look back here in my mid-40s. Yeah, in hindsight, my dad was right. Even I could have played my cards smarter back in the day. But yeah, I had to learn these things the hard way, too.
We’ve been brainwashed to be slaves to our own desires, which we have allowed to run rampant and lead us. Back in the day, before the mass social engineering of “free love,” our modern sexual conundrum would have been seen as madness. Of course, people throughout the ages have been promiscuous. Still, it was more of a hush-hush thing, something done under the cover of night, something done in secret (with the exception of openly garish times like the fall of Ancient Rome and such, which led its peoples’ to quick and imminent demise). Never before has it been so blatantly promoted and glorified as it is nowadays.
But hey, times change. Even though, on the inside, people don’t.
Custom Ordering Yourself A World Of Problems
Casual sex creates problems for you personally. How?
Well, let’s say you’ve had the best sex of your life with a certain girl. Let’s say she did all of the hot and nasty stuff that you like. Let’s say your mind imploded and she left you wondering, “Can it ever get better than this?”
Then, let’s fast-forward to your break-up with this special girl. Things just didn’t work out between the two of you. She was headed east, whereas you were headed west. You both wanted different things from life. Her values system was completely different than yours, and there was no way you could have ever survived as a cohesive, harmonious couple. Yet, you had the best sex of your life with her. Guess what, buddy?
You’re going to find yourself languishing in Wax Nostalgic Land for years to come, just wishing that the girl you are now with is somehow going to find a way to give you the kind of ride that your ex did. Of course, this is damn near impossible, since there are so many other factors at play.
Like comedian Chris Rock so aptly stated in one of his stand-ups: ”Men cannot go backward sexually.” You’ve got all of the little idiosyncrasies that make up each individual person (read: everyone is unique) and moment, and you simply cannot duplicate those. It’s like magic: it only shows up once. If you fail to grab on to it when it’s there, too bad for you. You’ve blown your chance. Move on, because it’ll never come back the same way again.
Living with the mental burden of lying in wait for that next equally hot lay as the best you ever had does no favors to you as a man. Read that line again and stop to think about it.
A lot of guys get trapped on the thrill of the kill train, finding themselves ever after a new lay in order to feel the high of conquering a woman again and again. The dopamine high requires, as it were, this sacrifice, as without this constant pursuit, life would be so much more colorless and boring. This endless cycle, however, is devastating to the man’s spirit and absolutely desensitizes his mind. It’s called becoming jaded. Add to that a few STD’s and you have yourself quite a cocktail of unhappiness.
Of course, there is always the flipside of the coin. If you don’t experiment and play the field, taste the flavors and indulge in your curiosities, you may end up haunted by the things that never were. Yet, even part of that is social engineering. We’ve been taught by our culture to be this way, to want to ride the carousel. It’s been pounded into our heads that men want to sow their seed as far and wide as possible and monogamy was never in cards for us, especially as the males of the species. Believe what you want. You will always know the tree by the fruit that it bears.
I remember reading an article way back in my early 20s from either Playboy or Penthouse magazine, interviewing five or six random women about the best sex that they ever had. Only one girl said that the only man she ever had was the man she married, her husband, and she has never had bad sex in her life. Wow! What a testimonial! Just think of how lucky that girl was, with no other person to compare her husband to. She was completely satisfied with the man she was with.
How many people today could state the same thing? How many people would give anything to be in this girl’s shoes?
Oh yeah, and whoever her husband is, he should count himself truly blessed and lucky. I am sure there are countless men today who would give their left nut to hear the same thing from the woman they are now with.
Casual Sex Dulls Your Ability To Bond
Ah, the unpopular truth, once again rearing its unwanted head! We all could have been smarter, fellas. We all could have implemented more caution, critical gaming eye and common sense. Instead, we let our lust do the talking and then, like a dog on a leash, our lust led the way and did the walking for us, too. And we’ve only got ourselves to blame. We let go of the reins.
Anyone remember the movie Grease (1978), with Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta? Sociologists and the like have deemed that this movie was the pivotal turning point in steering the American (read: Western) youth down the road of eroded morality (read: casual sex).
In that movie, Olivia Newton-John’s character Sandy falls hard for bad boy Danny, played by Travolta. To appease and please her bad boy boyfriend, Sandy starts to smoke and have casual sex with him, as if that were a way for girls to hook and keep the men they wish to have in their lives.
This film was a huge, smash hit when it came out (and remains an all-time Hollywood classic to this day), and it caused a social shift in the underlying consciousness of the youth of its day. That generation spawned the next generation and you can do the rest of the math, seeing where we find ourselves in the here and now.
But, unlike in the movies, in life the bad boy and the good girl rarely, if ever, make for a doable, stable couple. The same goes for the stripper and the preacher’s son, a close call that I avoided by the grace of God Almighty back in the mid-’90s. This is because one’s values dictate who they are and how they behave. A clash of values will have you at constant war with one another. Just like Simon Sinek ascribes: People don’t buy what you sell, they buy what you believe.
The Purpose And Role Of Sex In A Relationship
Maybe one of the least asked questions is: what is the actual, natural role of sex outside of procreation? Yet, this is an integral and all-important question, and the answer is really quite simple and exclusive.
If you break it down, sex is a bonding experience between a man and a woman. It unites the couple. It is perhaps the highest form of intimacy to be had. At the very least, it’s the most tangible.
Sex is meant to bring a man and woman together and strengthen their bond to one another. Take a couple who aren’t having sex, and you can see a whole slew of problems arise. Granted, it can be well argued and seen that sex is a reflection of how a relationship is actually doing otherwise.
While sex is something that you spend an considerably short amount of time engaged in, its significance is monumental to the health of any said marriage or intergender love relationship. And since sex is a bonding experience that we cannot discount or nullify, it is madness to think that being sexually intimate with a large number of prospects or flings would make you more of a man, a better person, more fulfilled or stronger or better to any degree. Being a busy Cassanova doesn’t make you an alpha; strength of character does.
So first and foremost, outside of procreation, it can be firmly seen that sex is a bonding experience. After that, you can sprinkle in the pleasure, the release, the kicks, the high and what have you. But be smart: recognize the foundation and trunk before just chopping off branches for your own immediate personal pleasure.
Remedy The Malady
Once again, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking from up on a high horse here. I like a nice pair of tits and ass as much as the next guy. But, like ice cream, just because I like doesn’t mean that I should freely indulge. You’ve got to know what it’s going to cost you. Ice cream has a shitload of calories that you will have to jog your ass off to get rid of, if you don’t want to get fat, just as fucking any random hot girl that you meet will cost you on the aforementioned personal levels that we’ve gone through here. Simply, it just isn’t worth it, no matter how tempting the prospect of casual sex is.
Your stock as a man should not be hingent upon your sexual validity in terms of nailing any hot chick that you desire. You should know who you are as a man, and you should know your internal stock. You should not be so weak and vain, that you need another sexual conquest to validate your manliness, masculinity, masculine fortitude or power in general.
Just like with everything else in life, true value and power comes from within. Its about knowing who you are, knowing your true strength and respecting and honing your personal, strong qualities. Only after waking up from the dream state that you otherwise would wish to remain in, will you be able to understand this, as Anthony De Mello so eloquently and bluntly pictured it in his fantastic book Awareness.
Yeah, I know this puts you between a rock and hard place, but that’s life. Choose your hard. We all need a war to win, a battle to fight. Stop settling for sloppy seconds.
And step one in getting off of this self-defeating pussy carousel of casual sex is to orient yourself in finding a quality girl that is worth her stock, whom you can honestly marry and make a keeper. If you aren’t having luck finding her, start asking the right questions. Get serious. Don’t waste any more of your life. Start making the right choices now for a better personal tomorrow.
Read more: 7 Things I Require In The Future Mother Of My Child
78 thoughts on “The Dangers Of Casual Sex”
As sex relations degrade further, having casual sex with a girl you don’t know well can have serious downsides. Modern women, because of their mental instability, can cause you anxiety, drama, or legal troubles, all for very physical fleeting pleasure.
This is why feminists are so worried at the upcoming sex doll revolution. They instinctively know that many men will choose the doll instead of dealing with their bullshit. Get ready for laws that force you to “respect” a woman or not reject her. You will be assigned a blue-haired pig and be required to go down on her regularly.
“You will be assigned a blue-haired pig and be required to go down on her regularly.”
Or suicide, which is the preferred option.
I agree so much with that option.
Better get the HPV vaccine shot……
“As long as said pig is not Hmong!”: Dirty Harry.
Id rather die
Many are realists and know the only thing of value is their snatch. If that can be replaced, they know the days of dictating to chumps is over.
There will always be beta orbiters white knighting low quatily clunge.
Which is sad.
This was a great topic, Roosh.
Sex doll brothel opens in Barcelona….. raw doggin plastic!
But, what happens when the sex bots become self-aware and start filing false rape accusations?
The issue of “human rights” for synthetic beings has already been promoted by certain people, like Ray Kurzweil.
There’ll be a app for that….
Won`t they just ban sex dolls if they come on the market and gain popularity? Certainly in Western countries.
I could see it becoming something like p4p.
Illegal most places, but accepted in less developed and more free cultures.
I think they’re damned if they do and damned of the don’t. If they do try to ban sex dolls their whole bullshit feminist philosophy will be shown to be the house of cards it is. Ban sex dolls! Oh I thought you didn’t need men. We men will just go over here and leave you alone. Oh no you won’t! We want your blood, sweat and tears! If they don’t ban them then men just go about banging plastic and the women still look like a bunch of worthless Kuntz……
They can come up with a thousand BS narratives to ban sex dolls. Something like; `It`s breeding sexual violence against real women`, or `men learn that women are just a piece of hardware to be used for their pleasure.`
Some are already arguing that “synthetic beings” have (or will have) emulated feelings that are just as real as with biological creatures. You will have robot SJW in the future if things turn out that way.
But don`t make the mistake of thinking that the lack of logic will stop feminists etc. They will come up with something.
I have no doubt they will. Funny thing is they always end up looking like a bunch of braying Kunz……
Maybe they`ll make a feminist-State sanctioned version, and ban all others from producing them. Meet the Tess 3000r. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ec678852ec35928e80681228428236aeaaa67d923cad0b637fc69451e00f7174.jpg
so sad. she would be stunning if she wasnt 300 lbs
Their philosophy has already been shown to be a house of cards. Many times
Don’t expect them to stop lying over sex dolls. They will push the same lies, that only losers who cant find a “real” woman would want one.
Women will recognize the threat, and the govt will give them what they want. Count on it
And inked up.
It eats! It shits! It shrieks! It never sleeps! Handy garbage disposal too! The perfect feminist
I’d rather have a weird (yet sanitary) fetish than that fat fucking load of shit
I hate you for posting that
Proles and animals are free. 1984
Relampago Furiouso has detailed how Anglosphere culture dangles sex in front of the beta male masses ad nauseam, but then shames them relentlessly when they seek to fulfill normal/healthy heterosexual urges. It is all a twisted mindfuck, but this sells product so of course it continues.
It also eventually tempts the beta into marriage when some scraps are finally thrown his way.
(((Ok so do something about it then)))
Then heterosexual men will fake gay marriages, then they will put sensors in the end of the rectum to monitor your monthly anal sex to prove that you are a real gay.
The 1980s movie “Cherry 2000” was mundane B-rate sci fi then.
It’s prophetic now.
HOLY COW THE YEAR IN THE MOVIE IS 2017!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just realized it!!!!
Since the shitlibs are bandying about “Handmaid’s Tale” to troll Trump voters, we should be doing public showings of Cherry 2000 if we can find any alternative ending where the protagonist does not cuck out and ditch his robot for the man-girl.
BTW they are so threatened by the idea they have proposed a tax on sex robots. Note they DID NOT have an issue with sperm banks. Where’s the 10K Percent tax on sperm? Where’s the tax on vibrators? Surely some dry-box spinster without a family is apt to be a burden on society.
Nope. More double standard that only justifies everything we do, write about, and will do, to crush this bullshit (even if the host of civilization has to be razed so it can be rebuilt without “them” around)
The elites still have a depopulation agenda, the most they will enforce is shutting down communities like this, they only want us to marry in order to fuel the machines of the divorce industry and social security rather than for their amusement at our discomfort.
Haha it’s time for some pig poppin’ with Angry Birds.
Good mentors share wisdom, but wisdom is granted that a cautious man may heed it an understand it when the circumstances arrive to help a person successfully navigate their experiences not to prevent them. Young people have no wisdom because they have no experience with which to create it, as wisdom comes from LEARNING through your experiences. Mentorship is the act of sharing that learned lesson to help someone understand their own experiences better and more effectively. People that heed and listen and keep that passed on wisdom generally have fewer issues coping with lifes challenges provided they survive them. All the times that engaged Moms or Dads or Grandma or Grandad says don’t do this or that or to DO this or that was to help their kids learn with less pain that their parents did, you know this become true when they say to you “You told me this….” We reflect these thing the nuggets of wisdom many times by saying “If I knew then what I know now, I WOULD/SHOULD/COULD HAVE….”
Sex is probably the most overstated topic in wisdom, and the absolutely least heeded, and this article is chock full of it.
I was lucky to have made a religious promise a few years ago not to have sexual relations outside of marriage; even if I became an atheist, I would still keep my word.
People historically valued chastity for a reason, and I’ve seen that waiting until the wedding to sleep with someone else does make a marriage better (as long as she did the same thing). Of course, you can still sharpen your romantic skills in other ways.
A very powerful article. I have had an above average, but not huge, number of sexual partners. While I don’t regret any of them, even the one night stands (it helped me decide they do not interest me), in hindsight they offer me little to nothing. The immediate physical pleasure is indeed great, possibly the highest short term high outside of using heroine or another dangerous substance.
But even an hour later, the pleasure is mostly gone. Certainly a week later, there is zero benefit to having banged. It’s very similar to the pleasure of having one more glass of beer, or passing it up.
On the other hand, if I could meet a girl like the one mentioned, who has only been with her husband, and always has amazing sex with him, that would fill me with a sense of pleasure and happiness for the 99.99% of time we are together, but not fornicating. That is what we lose by engaging in casual sex.
The line is now blurred between prostitute and “normal”. Almost every “normal” girl you will meet today in the west has done everything a prostitute of the past had, and perhaps has beat her notch count. When there was a clear distinction between the two, men could visit a prostitute for mere sexual release, segregating the emotional from the physical ramifications. When the line is blurred, and all women are whores, how will we ever form functioning families or pair bond for life? If the marriage failure rate of our parents was 55%, what will ours be?
Of course, the damage done by casual sex is orders of magnitude worse on the woman than the man, but I believe we both suffer.
“When the line is blurred, and all women are whores, how will we ever form functioning families or pair bond for life?”
We won’t. We aren’t.
Slowly, but steadily, we’re moving into a post-marriage society. That’s the end-game of feminism. Women probably didn’t believe it when they shouted their ‘fish-bicycle’ slogans in the 70’s…but feminism does actually destroy marriage, just like they said it would.
Here’s a list of the top ten countries with people living by themselves. Sweden tops the list not surprisingly as the most feminized society:
Stockholm currently has 58 percent single households!
When the state doesn’t support men in building our own, secure families (our personal kingdoms) the thinking is that men stop caring about that society. And ultimately, it dissolves.
Do you see this happening in Sweden?
A person is tempted only by his own wickedness. Temptation has no power except what you give to it.
The need for (female) love is a (selfish) childish need. It is a carryover from an ancient ambition, a yearning for the woman identity in man to complete itself to a vainglorious promise held up by a woman outside of him.
Because of the power that mother now has over the children, every boy grows up with a woman’s nature inside him. This female-centered nature, which grew from the seduction of the woman and was born from her, must return to its source to reseed itself and to perpetuate its ego existence.
This is the heart of man’s need. As he reaches physical maturity, he tries to escape that founding and dominating spirit, only to find it again in another form—an apparently friendly and ego-supportive woman. Thus, full circle—here we are back at the original scene of the crime. Just as a seed doesn’t fall far from its tree, so the ego of man cannot go far without the support of the spirit of its creator.
That need makes sense though. Raising a child alone is a disaster.
Once your notch count gets ridiculously high, you might wind up realizing that there are two types of sex: Sex that is beyond words (which I refer to as hyperdimensional sex), and sex that isn’t beyond words (regular, boring sex). Once you’ve had the former, the latter doesn’t measure up. Unfortunately, the former type of sex is rare as hell. So if I had to do it all over again, I think I would go monastic and/or abstain from sex completely. Because in the end, it’s an addiction/obsession and nobody is ever completely satisfied. Gee, look at the time…gotta go, there’s a slut up the street who wants a quickie (see what I mean?)…
Casual sex more ruins bonding for women than men. Thats a big reason why men dont want promiscous women for relationships.
Women try to use sex to get love, but it backfires. Men can use sex to get love. A man who sleeps with multiple women is going to have no problem getting a woman to fall in love with him. Its getting her to fall out of love thats the problem.
A woman who sleeps with 50 men may not neccesarily get any man to love her. And thats why women hate a man judging her on her sexual past. She hates that her sexual past will disqualify her from being loved by a desirable man.
On the other hand, a straight man who can be promiscuous with many women will be desired by women for sex AND relationships.
I think its funny when a woman says she wouldnt want a promiscuous man
1. Shes lying in an attempt to make everything equal. If her favorite quarterback that she KNOWS had slept with hundreds of women wanted her as a wife, she’d be on the 1st thing smoking to that altar
2. Even if she in particular wouldnt, a promiscuous man has many opportunities for LTR
3. A woman has to choose either or and she doesnt want the desirable (read :promiscuous) man to put her in the “good for a lay but not wife” category
4. On the other hand, no self respecting man wants to be in a womans “good husband material but would not sleep with” category.
Doesn’t matter where you are on a scale from asexual to nymphomaniac, there’s a price to be paid for it.
So much good stuff here to think about. As the author implied, the real need of every human heart is Connectedness. Relationship. Belonging.
Casual sex, in a way then, is a cynical repudiation of your own needs. It’s taking one of the deepest mechanism for human connectedness and instead using it to express your desire to be disconnected.
Self-respect can be lost in the process. You might begin to believe your are unable, unworthy, or underserving of real, intimate connection with a woman.
_Having said that, you can’t have deep a connection with a shallow woman._ A woman into casual sex does not and can not offer personal intimacy. And in the Facebook/Instagram world, this is most women. Never marry the shallow woman!
One last thought is to remember – especially you incels out there – that Belonging and Relationship is not limited to your ability to attract a good woman. Male friendships are in many ways more rewarding – and stable – than relationships with women, which are inherently transactional in nature. Isolation is a choice.
Relationships are simply a low priority to western women. They couldn’t care less about them until it’s too late.
We’re also in an age where loyalty is dead. When something better is available (be it jobs, items, services) we immediately ditch what we have and go for what’s better. It’s no surprise this has also seeped into how we view people. When a better person comes along, we now ditch what we have and go for what’s better.
Yep, exactly. It’s a materialist consumer society that gets shoved down our throats from birth to grave. Immediate gratification takes priority over all else.
Yeah. I’d say that women were a generation or two ahead of men in the disloyalty game (judging by who initiates divorce).
But men are catching up fast.
There’s going to be lot of negotiation in the next twenty years as women react to men’s much-belated reaction to feminism.
“But men are catching up fast.”
Interesting times we live in… if feminist laws aren’t eliminated, I wonder what will happen.
Technically, if all men were red-pill, women would have to submit completely, even if they had guns and we didn’t.
The problem is the cucks, because they also have sperms.
Sure, their progeny are likely going to be cucks aswell… and that means a complete innate degeneration.
Our society either get its shit toguether or it devolves to the point that it can’t maintain the technology.
Even when they ‘care’ about relationships, what the modern woman really wants is provisioning for her and her kids. The notion of being a good wife to most women is degrading. …that’s something women in the 50s worried about…
Over the years of reading articles about the contemporary relationships between men and women I can safely say this is the most comprehensive article on the subject. I can admit to all the fallacies in which the male of the species indulges today. Been there done that. I think my endorphin receptors are well burned out at this stage. The only answer is becoming some sort of monk for a time. Rebuild. I don’t know. My trust in women has been fatally broken. I really don’t know if it can ever be repaired. We have lied to ourselves thinking over indulgence would bring happiness. Instead we have mental and physical injuries that might never be healed.
A small example of the idiocy going on today. Big controversy about the HPV vaccine and giving it to young girls. Some young girls complain about chronic fatigue and other ailments after getting the vaccine. Big government propaganda to get the vaccine. Nothing, I mean nothing about sexual responsibility. How is HPV spread? Promiscuity! So don’t slut it up and your chances of getting HPV virus are miniscule. The message from the government shills is “girls get on the cock carousel! We’ll pay for your HPV vaccine! You’ll be fine after that thousand cock…” Is there a vaccine for the thousand cock stare?
I don’t know what my exact count is. It’s certainly over 100. I know everyone is different, but I don’t believe I’m incapable of bonding. I was in a committed relationship a few years ago without any issue. Don’t see why I couldn’t return to one with the right girl. I’ve pretty much always had the same approach when it comes to women; I hope that the girl is one of the unicorns, but expect her to be just like all the others.
That”s the whole paradox of our sub-culture.
The problem is contraception in a nutshell. It’s biologically abnormal. The Catholic church is on to something.
I used to get increasingly anxious and disgusted with myself after fucking some random club ho.
It’s necessary on some stage in your life, but will eat you from the insides if you let it run too long
How does it eat at you?
Not sure if you’re being ironic or not
No. Straight up, being an LTR kind of guy myself, I’m genuinely curious what you see as the main pitfalls.
I mean, I can definitely see some of the benefits: physical pleasure of course, ego / confidence boost, practice at sex (which you don’t get in between LTRs.)
For me the big downside – something I just can’t get over – is that I don’t want any emotional entanglements with women I don’t respect. I’m not sure if that’s a blessing or a curse…
Fair enough. It pulls your focus onto nothing but short term pleasure. It’s akin to being a drug addict in some cases. There are natural players who can pull it off, but these in reality are a tiny minority. Try-hard players usually have chaotic, fucked up lives when you scratch the surface. A lot like the women they attempt to fuck
Thanks. Yeah, I can see that. Try-hard players especially seem to be seeking validation from women in an unhealthy way. Like a male version of an Instagram attention whore.
I think our proprietor has some hard-earned insights in this area. But he seems content for now to let other people do the talking…
The try-hard player is probably a necessary phase for most. But it needs to give way to real life sooner or later
Just to clear this up…
The chase is NOT better than the catch.
If it is…. you’re doing something wrong. Or you’re just a little boy who likes pride lol
A young guy may argue “I love to hunt and catch my game with a knife. It’s the thrill.”
Then I would say, “I like to see what I catch in my trap. See, you’re happy to catch something, I’m happy to when I catch something really good.”
I’d say if the thrill of the chase is more satisfying than the catch, then you must not enjoy sex. I know what I’m doing and I enjoy it very much even if the girl isn’t very good at it.
I agree so much. I have no clue as to how someone would find the chase pleasant.
I hate the chase, I just want the catch.
The problem is the laws.
It doesn’t matter how perfect and virgin the girl and the boy is. Laws are against proper relationship, as they give authority to women.
It doesn’t matter how wise you are, you can’t have a good marriage because of that factor.
True. So much ink has been wasted arguing that if men just did X, Y, Z we could make it work.
But you just can’t get around the fast that the State took away our authority in marriage and gave it to her. We can’t really build our little kingdoms anymore. It’s her project now.
Still, you can have meaningful, healthy relationships with women outside of marriage.
This article forgets to mention that this generation has LESS sex & less partners. And it’s been decreasing every generation. Not just relationship sex…. singles sex! Despite ALL this you mention. Numbing to the point it’s not desired lol
So as we think everyone is screwing everybody… it’s far from the truth. It’s all just in the open and in your face that makes you think this way.
The hardcore solution:
No easy divorce. Higher taxes for single people living alone ( plus incentives for married couples with families). An outright ban on porn. Zero abortion (unless mothers life is in danger) Tax STD treatment heavily. No sex education in schools. Clear internet content control.
Yup. Never gonna happen though.
Women will never give up the power they’ve been granted. It’s against all human nature. So we’ll continue to slide down the civilizational shitter.
Yeah I know it’s not going to happen. Unless Muslims take over but either way that would be the end of Europeam civilisation as we know it
Baring some miracle, I think it’s already over. Like a chicken running around without a head.
At this point, we’re all just picking over what meat is still left on the carcass with little thought to building up society or culture.
Something new (and ancient) is emerging and it doesn’t look good.
Yep pretty much this. We’re never going back to the days of 1950s America. It’s over.
I know everyone here shudders at the thought, but Europe’s future will be mixed race, non-religious, highly feminist and economically stagnant. Thats reality.
There’s little incentive to build or add to the traditional order of European society because it is fundamentally changing for the worse and no one can stop it. Honestly, the only thing I can say for sure is that your best bet is to look after yourself and make sure that you live a good, rich life. Retiring early should help towards that.
You’d need a big authoritarian government with harsh punishments for all that to be even a little bit successful. Is that what you really want?
A pipe dream. LOL
How can one do a story on this subject and not mention the ever-expanding possibilities for a rape accusation, or, as we often see, one and then the deluge? A man’s regret about his sexual life has nothing on women’s, and certainly rarely has the weight of the legal system behind it.
In a world full of technology, what usually follows is less religion, more female empowerment, more choice (for women), less marriage and less babies. So you can preach that casual sex is bad but it will never amount to anything. We’re never going back to the pre-war days of girls getting married at 19 and supporting their husband and four children for the rest of their lives.
The only exception are girls who are devout and wear their religion with a badge of honour. Mormon girls in Utah come to mind. But eventually Christianity will become less relevant over there too.
These sort of things used to bother me a lot. But this is the fate of every industrialised country. So why try to change something that is inevitable?
Very interesting article. Sometimes chasing puss can be just as addictive as any drug, especially once you factor in the time and money spent. Most short-term pleasure has some sort of cost. This is something I’ve been thinking about lately, especially when I start getting bored of a current plate and start fiending for some new slime, it starts taking up a lot of my time and attention that I could be diverting to other stuff. It’s hard to stay focused in our oversexed society when you can open Instagram and see more tits and ass in 3 minutes than our great-grandfathers saw in their entire lifetime. But hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game…And don’t hate the game, learn Game. What else is a RP guy to do?
Sounds like “the turn” within the red-pill community is starting to take shape.
I knew that at one point or another… we would all have to come to grips with the fact that going out and fucking any old bitch for the simple sake of fucking her has negative consequences for everyone down the line.
Now that most people are adopting the “lets just fuck and not date” lifestyle… it’s starting to affect women to the point that men are even passing up the sex they provide because it’s just not worth all the drama.
This is when the shift back towards the patriarchy starts happening. Men start to realize that, despite the propaganda shoved in our faces daily, sex has a price… and not every girl is worth it, no matter how good looking.
Despite women being the gate keepers of sex (men are the gate keepers of marriage), they’ll start to notice this shift in men and start holding themselves to a higher standard, aka, they’ll become more marriageable… and men won’t be so reluctant to hand over the keys.
Off-topic, but sitll somewhat related:
Not true. There will always be a huge number of blue pilled orbiters surrounding a fat tattood walrus in the hopes that she may one day bless them with her stinking vagina.
Women will never become more marriageable. It’s pretty naive to think that women will ever sacrifice their careers and freedom. The patriarchy is a relic of the past. Anyways, if you do get married, its going to be your neck on the line. Don’t forget that.
Some people are comfortable with it and have no interest in having children. Which is fine. I don’t think women will start changing until our society starts changing. Women are much more products of societal pressures than men are. Probably won’t happen but we can hold out hope and do our best to force the change.
I think what you said will happen. Just not any time soon. We probably have another decade to really really hit rock bottom, and then a decade of pure misery before things start getting better. I hardly give a shit now. I’m definitely not going to care in my 60’s.
I have wrestled with this over the past year or so. Very glad to see this article.
Wow this is probably the MOST brutally honest article ever written on ROK. Good stuff! Every man and woman should read it.
“this is probably why the frequency of sex teeters off to two or three times a week for most married couples”
Not sure where you are getting your numbers, but I would say two or three times per month – or even per year – is more realistic for modern American marriages.
Yeah, he’s giving some guys the wrong – way wrong – idea.
Maybe he’s including mistresses? haha…
My wife was given a low level introductory feminist book and started to spout some feminism to me.
I said to her – “I’ll make it simple for you – Feminism or Cunnilingus – your choice”
Needless to say that book hasn’t been picked up since
I think this article may be a turning point in the sphere. Perhaps western men needed to go through this experience, but it is becoming clearer to me in responses to my writing that men are now realizing the folly and the insanity of continuing down the enjoy the decline sexual hedonist path.
I have always believed. When men take back control of their libido and WITHHOLD it from women… shit will change and get fixed right fucking quick.
The tipping point is approaching. The West is close to death… but there is still a dream that was Rome left in it.
Can’t say enough about how great this article was to read on ROK. Bravo to Roosh and the editors for publishing it.