Politics

Would You Bang A Famous Feminist?

63 Comments

Here we’ll rate the big-name feminists, limited to their most (in)famous activists. Thus, Hillary Clinton (for example) doesn’t count. Cupcake is best known as a political figure: Secretary of State, New York Carpetbagger Senator, First Lady during Bill Clinton’s administration, and (close, but no cigar) Presidential candidate. Also, Mattress Girl isn’t famous enough; liars are a dime a dozen.

The contestants are listed in order of their “Hot Babe” number. However, instead of going from the plainest to prettiest as usual, it’s in descending order. That indicates our awareness of the problematic fact that people with good looks have more privilege in society. Therefore, listing them backwards will help correct this injustice. After all, symbolic gestures totally make a difference, righty right?

HB5: Gloria Steinem

Give me an “A”!

This contestant is among the best known big-name feminists, and also their cutest. This Toledo native moved to the mothership of NYC to pursue journalism. She became a Playboy Bunny and wrote a boring tell-all account. For a while, that hindered her journalism career (and presumably her cocktail waitress career). She encountered the Big Apple’s radical feminist scene, even attending meetings of the infamous Redstockings. Understandably, there was a kerfuffle when those radicalinskis discovered her earlier CIA ties.

Starting Ms. Magazine in 1972 became her big break. As the best face that radical feminism ever had, her activism efforts kicked into high gear. Eventually, she attained a list of awards, citations, and other tributes longer than Charles Manson’s rap sheet.

Bangability: Back in the 1970s, she was modestly cute, worth asking where the pet shop is. However, this didn’t make her outstanding. Modestly cute babes were much more common back then; they paid better attention to their appearance and didn’t implant facial shrapnel. She’s aged fairly well too, and didn’t hit The Wall very hard.

Personality: She was a little more agreeable during her early days. Now, she generally comes across like a typical tedious liberal. Those types don’t make you run away screaming, but you nod patiently and go “yeah, okay” as they excitedly babble through their talking points they got from CNN fake news. Still, she’s well ahead of the curve for the notoriously crabby Second Wave feminists.

Finally: Gloria could’ve been quite charming if she hadn’t gotten mixed up in feminism.

HB4: Bella Abzug

What’s with all her hats?

This Columbia graduate (that figures) and attorney became a New York Congressbabe. During Watergate’s aftermath, she wanted to block Gerald Ford’s nomination as VP. That would’ve made the Democratic house speaker the next President. Fortunately, he had the good taste not to cooperate; Bella’s plot would’ve been dirtier than anything Tricky Dick ever did.

Bangability: Bella the Battle-Ax was… well, plain is the nice way to put it.

Personality: As she herself wrote:

I’ve been described as a tough and noisy woman, a prize fighter, a man-hater, you name it. They call me Battling Bella, Mother Courage, and a Jewish mother with more complaints than Portnoy. There are those who say I’m impatient, impetuous, uppity, rude, profane, brash, and overbearing.

Roger that.

Finally: HB4s aren’t exactly eye candy. However, they’ll do if they are a joy to be around and radiate charm.

HB3: Betty Friedan

It’s understandable why she was so crabby.

This babe hobnobbed with Communists since childhood, but is better known for founding outfits like NOW and NARAL. Her book The Feminine Mystique persuaded millions of women to define their success the way men do, leaving their homes in droves for the awesome adventure of cube farms.

Bangability: I’d need some serious beer goggles to tap that.

Personality: This bitch needed a flea and tick collar. Also, she had an ongoing catfight with Gloria Steinem. Jealousy?

Finally: HB3s like Betty are really getting into last resort territory.

HB2: Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony

Lips that touch liquor shall not touch ours!

These two BFFs are tied for second place. Along with Lucretia Mott, they began America’s feminist movement. The First Wave—back when it really was about equality—wasn’t too objectionable. Their Declaration of Sentiments was considerably more reasonable (and far less snotty) than contemporary feminist writings. Unfortunately, the movement they launched eventually became as toxic as a screwdriver made with Agent Orange.

Stanton was a spoiled rich chick, quite self-absorbed, and—like most other contestants here—had some Daddy issues. Still, she was an angel compared to typical contemporary feminists. As for Anthony, she—like Lucretia Mott—came from a Quaker background. (Why were so many Quakers involved in feminism and other radical stuff? Many strange coincidences here…) She soon became a professional activist.

These contestants also supported the temperance movement, an effort eventually leading to Prohibition. Perhaps it seemed like a good idea then, but the results speak easily for themselves. The beginning of America’s Decline: The Education of a Conservative argues fairly persuasively that the USA’s train ride to hell first began with Prohibition. It’s also why American beer was swill until the 1990s craft brewing vogue.

Bangability: Gloria Steinem is an old lady now, but still is cuter than these two during their bloom of youth. Stanton somehow got married around age 24 (back then, that was pushing “old maid” territory). Shared political interests fueled the none-too-congenial relationship. More surprisingly, they had seven kids. If I had to bang her seven times, the trauma would’ve made me fill out a job application at the nearest monastery.

As for Anthony, she was the butch one, but aged slightly better. She was a lifelong spinster, highly unusual then. If she’d wanted, she could’ve found a suitor with bad eyesight. Reading between the lines, could they have been secret carpet munchers?

Personality: They were generally regarded as eccentrics and radicals. However, they’d be very proper and agreeable ladies by today’s standards. Further, either one of this Dynamic Duo seems like Saint Agnes, if compared to specimens like Big Red and Trigglypuff.

Finally: An HB2 war-pig becomes thinkable only when the bar’s closing, your alcohol consumption impaired your vision and judgment, and your friends will never know. However, as Temperance activists, getting some dick from 2AM nightgame wasn’t possible.

HB1: Andrea Dworkin

Shortly before her mass contracted under immense gravity and created a black hole

Our least attractive contestant was a true nutcase. She married some Dutch anarchist who happened to be a psycho. Stranded in Europe, she tried being a hooker, but somehow couldn’t earn enough for a return flight. She would’ve become a drug mule, if not for a last-minute supply problem, but the dealer let her keep the ticket. Back in the USA, she became a prime example of a feminist projecting her bad experiences onto all men.

Bangability: Although I give big gals a chance, reasonable limits apply. (Those needing to weigh in on a livestock scale at the large animal vet should quit snacking.) Further, they need at least one standout characteristic to catch my notice, like a pretty face, gorgeous hair (brushing it and using conditioner does wonders), bodacious perky breasts, or simply overall feminine grace. Jabba the Feminist lacked any such sparkle, due to self-neglect.

Personality: Where do I even begin? She makes Cupcake (even after her funk from losing the election) seem like a sweetheart.

Finally: This hambeast wasn’t Bubba from Cellblock 6, but that’s not saying much.

Where are the rest?

Time for a break! These gals are too cute, adorable, and intelligent to be feminists.

You might’ve noticed the absence of HB6-10 big-name feminists. That’s because there aren’t any.

Read More: Top 10 Worst Female Role Models In The Entire World

63 thoughts on “Would You Bang A Famous Feminist?”

    1. Somebody please bang this aged 4. She’s asking really nicely, and she even wrote a whole book, in which she is the hot protagonist.

    2. Well since banging a feminist calms her and then she doesn’t do a lot of damage. I am willing to take one for the team and screw you only and only if these conditions are met
      1. Written, signed and notarized consent form.
      2. Videotaped session for evidence.
      3. I’ve had 4 drinks
      4. All my Dawgs agree to it (senior ROK dawgs included)
      5. Every sexual act has to be agreed upon in the consent form

    2. Kinda ironic to think a land whale like this is a feminist when she was probably bullied by mostly females growing up for being the disaster she is.

    4. @faraway
      Remain calm. Dworkin passed away in ’05. Apparently she believed her health problems might have been from her weight. You are safe.

  3. Steinem is going to be 84 this year, don’t think those saggy arms have improved any. ‘Ggilf’, anyone?
    It’s interesting she aborted her one and only child, and is proud of it, because it enabled her to live the life she lived, she says.

    2. Steinem will be pleased to know that the life she lived, and the child’s life she ended, has secured her place in the afterlife: where she will be hollowed out for use as a condom for Satan’s thorny cock.

  4. at home with a stomach bug thanks for providing vomit inducing pictures.
    Hot and feminist, two words that never go together without mess in between them. suitable replacement label is mentally deranged.

    1. I was at a party with her once few years ago. Didn’t know it until pictures were shown on ROK.
      Would maybe bang, if she brought a hotter friend to hold her head.

      1. oh fuck no – wrong crazy cat lady – anita – never no way.
        was another – younger – but bit more fuckable one – i don’t know my lesbo memes so well…

    2. Something about the Caucasus/Mideast/Mediterranean look really turns my crank, as evidenced by my two olive-skinned daughters.

    4. I could grudge-fuck Anita, if she would STFU.
      Something tells me she’s an awful, terrible lay. She’s just not into sex.

  6. haha – yep nothing above a HB1.
    I do have the urge to bang a “feminist” chick with a hot slim body.
    As much as some of those barista man-haters try their best to look terrible – my dick can pierce the veil…
    they hate men but would still love dick. I reckon.
    Would be niagra falls baby…

  8. Polly, sorry honey. You have that Chrissy Hines thing going on and The Pretenders front woman is terminally annoying. I also am not remotely familiar with your background. But having said that, foreplay for me is intelligence. Provided we have a civil conversation and keep the volume to DEFCON 1, I might be compelled to give it a whirl and curl your toes. 🙂 Maybe even steer you back from the dark-side. We have free cookies!

  9. A younger, straighter Camille Paglia would be really good company if nothing else.
    I once saw a picture of a young Susan Sontag where she has that mysterious dark-eyed beauty look a lot of young Jewesses have. True to phenotype, her face quickly dried up and got more manly, though.

    2. Actually, I find her refreshingly different. I don’t agree with her completely, but I see that she’s the most sensible feminist in modern times. That’s why she wasn’t allowed to become a top-tier feminist, and The Sisterhood started trying to disown her. However, her reaction to them is “Who died and made you Pope?”

    3. You got the idea that Dworkin was slightly aroused by what she wrote about.
      A few years before she died she claimed that two French waiters had drugged her and done a threesome with her in Paris (She was in her late 50’s by then).
      Now if that is not a fantasy I do not know what is.

      1. More like a rape fantasy. I’m actually surprised she didn’t work her father into the story. Most do.

  10. I believe I speak for many when I say I’d gladly hatefuck the younger, thinner version of Anita Sarkeesian.

  11. They are feminists precisely because they don’t want to be judged on their bangability, so the premise of this article is futile, to be euphemistic, and retarded, to be blunt.
    It’s as if you would try to judge whether rocks were edible or not. THEY ARE NOT INTENDED TO BE.

  12. A younger thinner and std free version of Laci Greene maybe.
    I just remembered Gavin Mcinnes had a video once about his top 10 FILFs.

  13. A bangs a bang. Besides, a taste of proper Alpha spam javelin pork sausage will get rid of that toxic feminism out of their system once and for all!

  15. This fucking article. Thanks to the image of fucking a man hating wildebeest i have lost that last 6 lbs. Thanks!!

  17. THE CURE FOR PREMATURE EJACUA
    LATION
    So, you’re pounding your girl and the bed is creaking like…a creaking bed. Your girl is moanin, you’re sweating and suddly feel like you’re about to bust a nut…and you’ve only been at it for two minutes.
    Well…here is your remedy:
    Feel like you’re gonna blow?
    THINK ABOUT TAKING ANDREA DWORKIN UP THE REAR.
    AND VOILA! Boner-be-gone.

  19. “The First Wave—back when it really was about equality—wasn’t too objectionable. ”
    Yeah, right. Don’t believe that the first wave was a noble and genuine cause which has “unfortunately” degenerated today. It was always degenerate. See below from 1848:
    “In 1848, Lucretia Mott (1793-1880) and Elizabeth Cady Stanton (181-1902) organized the first women’s rights convention in history at Seneca Falls, New York. Participants drew up a declaration of sentiments that opened with the phrase “All men and women are created equal.” Modelled after the Declaration of Independence, the document proclaimed that “the history of mankind is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations on the part of man toward woman, having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over her.” After listing a long string of inequities–including the double standard of sexual morality and the denial of the right to vote, to enter the professions, and to obtain a college education–it held that man “has endeavored in every way that he could, to destroy her confidence in her own powers, to lessen her self-respect, and to make her willing to lead a dependent and abject life.”” (http://www.digitalhistory.uh.edu/disp_textbook.cfm?smtID=3&psid=382)
    Credit to Karen Straughan for bringing this text to my attention. She may be a woman, but she is bloody good.

    1. I’ve read the Declaration of Sentiments. Modeling it after the Declaration of Independence was a snotty touch. However, it was orders of magnitude better than the things the other contestants here wrote.
      Other than that, back in 1848, women really did have some areas of unequal treatment under the law, and some professions were mostly closed off. Although the document exaggerated their “plight”, they actually had something real to complain about back then. As time went on, though, they got everything they wanted that was listed in the document.
      Compare that to feminism these days. Women get preferential treatment under the law (Pussy Pass, no draft, theft by divorce, alimony, etc.) and in many other ways in life. Still, feminists act like women never had it worse. That’s why they have to keep coming up with new First World problems: mansplaining, manspreading, sexist air conditioning (yes, really!) etc.

  20. Dear God… what is the purpose of this article, to make everyone lose his lunch? To turn us all into MGTOW incels by making our willies shrivel up? The only feminazi worth banging is Emma Watson, because she at least isn’t too hard on the eyes, and even then it’d be 70% hatefuck.

  22. Its overrated. My ex wife was a hardcore feminist who is famous in her own right. I will say this about them, they are such psychological wrecks in public that when it come to the bedroom they absolutely crave being dominated and degraded. Despite this they are definitely not worth the hassle. I credit the bitch walking out on me for leading me to game and the red pill.

  23. For me personally… I find the Gloria Steinem in her 20’s – very attractive. She looks very much like an old FWB who used to love to swallow.

  26. I think that the level of sexual repression that a woman suffers from oftentimes parallels the size of the chip she has on her shoulder with regards to the opposite sex. In that sense, Ms. Dworkin’s radical leanings are understandable.
    Really, really understandable.

  28. I would hate f*** Casey Anthony in fact I might be inclined to ride that horse right off the cliff if you know what I mean

    1. ….Then tape her wrists and ankles, whack her, and dump her body in the woods for it to rot unfound.
      Casey Anthony should burn for what she did. Ditto Jodi Arias.
      Can’t wait for Judgement Day.

  29. Andrea Dworkin just looks like she perpetually smells like poo.
    Fuckin’ yikes, man.

  31. Damn, bro! I thought you were talking about your run of the mill, garden variety slut walker, not these Egyptian sphinxes with hieroglyphic tattoos on their saggy asses.
    Regarding regular, hard-assed, proud feminists though, the answer is Yes I’d throw them a hard one.
    I have yet to meet a stone feminist that (once I got to know them, and them me) didn’t say “Yeah, I would” to the question: If you ran across a man that you thought was hot, wouldn’t put up with any of your shit, and could selfishly extract intense orgasms from your body whenever he wanted, would you obey him and treat him right?
    Some thought it over before they said Yes, others said “Yeah, I would” right away. None said No.
    Even the witch’s tit-coldest, pantsuit-wearing defense attorney-at-law will submit to getting tied up, spanked and fucked by the man that turns her on and gives her zero fucks. He might even be her multiple-felony client or some shit.

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