The Law of Paradoxical Unity is a major theme in the popular ancient Chinese text known as the Tao Te Ching. It states that the universe, and life, exist in a constantly fluctuating state of duality. In simpler terms: everything has an opposite, and neither opposite stays dominate forever.
After night, the sun always rises. After winter, summer will certainly come to pass. Where you find darkness, you find a place capable of illumination. And, where you find stress, you find an absence of peace. However, peace is still there somewhere or stress couldn’t exist.
Paradoxical Unity has become a major foundation of my philosophy. The more I study and apply it, the more I realize its profound practical applications.
This post is a brief collection of dualities I’ve noticed in my own daily life. I hope they benefit you and inspire you to look for dualities in your life.
1. You Can Only Go As High As You’ve Been Low
My life has been one of high highs and low lows. I grew up without a father, battled cancer (and beat the bastard), and spent over a decade dealing with mental health issues like depression and anxiety. Beyond all that, and likely due to all that, I’ve had to deal with extremely low energy levels for significant periods of my life.
I’ve been to some seriously dark places—places I didn’t think I’d make it out of. However, in hindsight, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. These issues have carved my path. My issues kept me confined but, the harder I looked, it was as if life wanted me where I was.
Depression and anxiety brought me to spirituality out of desperation. Spirituality then brought me to writing which has turned out to be the love of my life as I get to explore and learn with you.
Beyond that, my low energy afforded me almost no leisure to do anything but read for well over an entire year. During this time, I learned so much about myself and the world that I can write for the rest of my life.
Destiny shows tough love. Temporarily.
Due to my previous lows, I am now capable of experiencing profound joy. I have an unparalleled appreciation for the basics of life which anyone who hasn’t been in similar lows would take for granted. If you are in a rough place in your life, hold on. Know that it gets better. Much better.
The harder life is breaking you down, the higher it will lift you up. Hell and heaven cannot exist without each other—it is the law of paradoxical unity.
Just make sure to constantly look for ways that your problems might be of benefit to you. They might be trying to show you something or steer you in a particular direction—likely the direction of perfection.
2. To Truly Please Yourself, You Must Abstain From Pleasure
Anything external that brings you pleasure will leave pain as it passes. This is one of the fundamental teachings of the Buddha.
Vices like alcohol and fast food will leave carnage in their wake, putting you in a state of lesser health. Coffee will provide you energy and then cause you to crash. Porn will skyrocket your pleasure centers, then leave you feeling weak and shameful.
Whatever the source, you can be sure that if something provides you pleasure without effort, in time, it will cause you harm just as sure.
Always remember this… duality is law.
Ironically, the more you abstain from pleasure and master yourself, the more you will find happiness welling up from within. Self-mastery is the source of true confidence and personal power, both of which give rise to happiness—beyond the painful cycle of duality.
However, not all pleasures cause pain through health effects. If you rely on anything particular for your happiness, its very absence will cause you to suffer.
For example: I love to travel. In fact, I love to travel so much that I used to be depressed any time I wasn’t travelling. Unfortunately, it isn’t realistic to travel for the rest of my life or even 50% of it. Therefore, I was relying on fantasies to bring me happiness. By investing too heavily in what brought me pleasure, its absence brought me pain.
Another common example would be relationships. I don’t think I need to explain the damaging effects caused by being overinvested in a relationship, only to have it fall apart.
Of course, you don’t have to abstain from all pleasure. I still travel when I can. I’m also invested in a relationship. We just can’t expect to find lasting satisfaction from anywhere but within. So make sure you are happy at home. Metaphorically speaking.
3. Life Will Never Be Perfect – Unless It Is Already Perfect
Life is full of problems. One of the keys to happiness is recognizing that you will never be problem free. And then being okay with that.
What you resist will always persist. It is paradoxical unity. Therefore, stop fighting your problems mentally, change what you can, and then accept what you cannot change.
Refuse to believe that anything is important enough in life to ruin your happiness. Additionally, refuse to believe that acquiring anything would make you happier than you are currently.
Those problems you have? I know they are real. You already know I’ve been through my own gauntlet. However, the wise rejoice knowing that their greatest problems act as their greatest opportunities for growth.
If you view every problem as a challenge to remain happy through adversity, in time, you will be emotionally unstoppable. And you have already seen that your lows will return you with highs, so give yourself permission to be happy, right now. Let happiness become your compass and you will soon have lots to be happy about. And if you don’t, you won’t.
“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way” – Thich Nhat Hanh
In Conclusion
As a law of nature, duality exists all around you. If you pay attention, you can begin to view your problems as opportunities, your setbacks as means of growth, and petty pleasures as pitfalls. If you go beyond duality, the whole world belongs to you.
Read More: “A Passage For Trumpet” Shows The Elusive Nature Of Happiness
Chad doesn’t know or care what ‘duality’ is when the cheerleaders are fighting over his dick.
Exactly.
No pain, no gain.
No brain, no pain.
I don’t believe in duality. The material plane is a twisted place in general, the pleasure’s role is only to entice man not to kill himself & continue his preordained role in existence.
The world we live in was created in a way where living creatures are constantly challenged.
Nature provides hardships, human ideals are either suicidal or homicidal, love is costly, bodies are a nuisance both in youth & old age.
The idea behind life is that one’s desires will turn against him eventually. It’s a constant fight for things that don’t belong to man.
Won’t comment on the other side cause I’ve never experienced the spiritual realm.
How can you doubt duality when it is all around you?
Male/female
Light/dark
Hot/cold
Breathing in/breathing out
Good/evil
Just to name a few.
Duality is gender, and it’s infused into every aspect of the material plane because the opposing poles of duality is precisely how creation is motivated.
Cause it’s just a front.
What’s the result of a society going up & down or an individual experiencing suffering & pleasure.
Have the ancient Egyptians evolved after their society declined, or the Romans, or the byzantine. If After 2000 years of Christianity people remained just as flawless as they were before this era started then WTF was its purpose?
Duality means free will, choice between light & darkness, if humanity stays the same despite the choices it makes(left or right) that means there is no duality, only the endurance of destiny till it’s all over.
This world is just a testing ground for the soul.
When they’re all separated for heaven and hell God will do away with the material plane.
Choose a side, that’s what this is all about.
The longer you wait, the harder it gets as we’re in the Kali Yuga and every reincarnation looks more and more like the hell this plane is descending towards.
All events are neutral. We give meaning to events by our perceptions of them. A rainstorm can be judged as negative if you are planning a picnic, or very positive if you are a farmer and depend on the rain for your crops.
“Just be yourself bro”
“Remember, feigning aloofness will get her WET!”
Any other great advice?
Apples and oranges. The topic is on opposing phenomena; you cited the different perceptions given to a single phenomenon.
Rainstorm should have been placed opposite a Drought. That would be true duality.
This is nonsense.
100% agreed. Psycho-babble mumbo-jumbo clap-trap.
Just some guy:
Physically, no it isn’t. Magnetic fields have polarity, as does electrical current. Hot/Cold, Up/Down, Male/Female, Light/Dark…there are of course variations in many cases, but duality is an obvious aspect of reality.
The problem is perspective. A hippy Baby Boomer would have seen the drug culture and “free love” as a great thing…until his daughter starts getting into it. Now it isn’t so good. The feminism he went along with doesn’t seem so good years later when he is fired for “sexual harassment.”
War is pretty miserable for those caught in it- but those who profit from it just love it when it happens.
Your problem here is that there is a difference between OBJECTIVE duality (magnetic field) and SUBJECTIVE duality (war). The article should have been more clear about that.
The man who EMBRACES his duality is a man unconflicted with himself because he is accepting that his life is his own to make of it as he will, without a concern for all the injection of bullshit from the rest of the human race. You only get one life to live the best you can for YOURSELF, so why be unhappy living your life as OTHERS deem fit for you to be?
Master your own life by owning it, all aspects of it. Yo know you are succeeding at it if you can look at the face in the mirror in the morning and not see a person you pity or hate. That’s the start.
Wow dude…wisdom.
No sarc.
Only a man could teach a lesson like this, thanks Internet dad.
It comes from a hard road I have walked. The a lot of lessons learned the hard way.
not The a.. Was supposed to be “Learned”…f**king autocorrect and google interference…
This is a quality article written by someone who has clearly gone through some real personal challenges and overcome them.
Very uplifting and sound advice.
I don’t agree with all of it but there is some practical advice that anyone can use if they want.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Max.
If my work helps even a few overcome their challenges, it is worth the effort. Glad you see the value
Well said.
When you are “on” there is a sense of knowing. It is an instinct.
Fantastic article Regan!
Thank you Slay!
Two cheerleaders squabbling over my junk IS duality. And I could accept that.
Great article Regan! The author is spot on with his advice about finding true happiness as an individual instead of following what society tells you.
I feel at my best, when I reach a goal, create something or I feel like I´m in control of my life. People need to start looking for happiness inside them. Dont ever let people manipulate you by putting you in guilt trips and telling that you are selfish for trying to reach your own dreams or improving yourself. Everyone has an agenda, even if they dont know, dont believe in everything that your teachers, colleagues and even friends tell you. A lot of them are trapped in a Disney/Blue Pill mentality. Most people are insecure and a lot of times they will be projecting their worse side unintentionally. Also never get upset if you ever received the wrong advice from someone. When I was a young man I was told to get good grades at school go to college and be a “nice guy” to girls. It was only after the School of Hard knocks gave me a good beating that I finally accepted that neither my parents nor most of my friends really knew the secret to happiness and how to survive in this world, but thats ok I forgive them its not really their fault for being trapped in the Matrix.
The world is a crazy degenarate place and I dont think its going to get better any time soon. The best way for you to not end up as a slave, like the rest of the masses, for the globalists and the mainstream media is if you dont buy into their crap.
Thanks Howard!
I feel you on the goals. The second I start to coast on my life is the second I feel internal loathing. Everything else is pretty spot on…You almost have to seem crazy to the masses in order to find success and happiness. That could be another paradox haha
Whatever has been said in this Article is pure “Common Sense” & Obvious !!
Still the Author deserves applause, for the “Conclusion” part.
Great read. Makes me concerned with the comments I see…..I like to think the readers of this site are of a higher quality than what there comments portray.
Thanks Andrew. Some use the internet for productive purposes and some have too much free time. A site with millions of readers is bound to have a few trolls.
Good article. Well done!
Tao Te Ching / Dao De Jing is available here https://www.yellowbridge.com/onlinelit/daodejing.php
It’s one of the most high density / no bullshit holy books around. Highly recommended for those with a yearning for nonduality, and not at all recommended for those happy in material life.
In the words of the Dalai Lama: “If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focusing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view.”
I enjoyed this article, and would broadly agree with the points made. I do wonder sometimes about the ideological starting point of articles like these – for example Michael Witcoff’s. They present as inductive, based upon mulling over experience, and here the author confirms that, but equally I can’t help noticing that there is a picture of a flame in the main pic and the arguments tend towards the reducibility of things into a single substance.
This may well be true, but it’s worth noting that many of the “problem ideologies” we encounter – feminism, marxism etc are in a sense radically non-dualist in a way that would be in sync with this idea. As I say I don’t disagree – reality is paradoxical – we hold in mind the idea that there is some level at which the paradox may be resolved but accept that it may be at a higher level. Likewise we may recognise that two extremes may represent poles at either end of a single continuum. But it’s worth remembering that sometimes we don’t want that possible ultimate nature of reality too readily resolved. Indeed there is a sense in which reality and in a sense life, creation, depends upon it
Thanks for the awesome article. I can offer a few ideas for some of the points you made.
> Ironically, the more you abstain from pleasure and master yourself, the more you will find happiness welling up from within. Self-mastery is the source of true confidence and personal power, both of which give rise to happiness—beyond the painful cycle of duality.
Agreed, however happiness that transcends duality is contentment, which is permanent and everlasting.
> We just can’t expect to find lasting satisfaction from anywhere but within. So make sure you are happy at home. Metaphorically speaking.
Agreed, the mind is the temple.