All posts by D

The First Milestone In Becoming A Man

In part due to the talk of the delayed adolescence of men that’s littered media articles from The New York Times to Jezebel, it has become clear that in the 21st century, the chief milestone that signifies the transition from boy to man is no longer serving in the military, turning 21, or getting married, as it was for much of recorded history. In 2013, the the defining right of passage into adulthood is permanently moving out of your parents home.

Roosh wrote the Bible on logistics with his landmark post The Secret To Fast Sex, stating in no uncertain terms that

It doesn’t matter how often you approach, how tight your game is, or how succulent your kisses are, but if your logistics are fucked, you’re not getting laid.

Few men in game live centrally in the midst of their cities bars, clubs and day game opportunities, and even fewer due among younger men who almost exclusively live with their parents if they don’t live on campus at a college. A few older men have told me that they felt that their sex life has reached a peak now that they have hit their 30’s, and that those years are the best years to be a man. I cannot help but wonder if this is largely due to the fact that unmarried men in their 30’s almost certainly live alone and are more likely to live where the action is rather than the cookie cutter family dominated sprawl of suburbia.

My Story

A month or so after you read this post, a perfectly located bachelor pad will become vacant for myself and my wingmen the same age as me to move in with a slightly older wingman of ours. While we had been planning to move out for a long time, it was only a few weeks ago we discovered we could move in with our friend, and only a few days ago we discovered exactly when the rooms would become vacant. It is not a necessity that we move out, and our financial situation will be a bit strained, but every day we live in the suburbs with our parents is another day that our potential for personal growth is wasted.

I’ve lost a depressing number of bangs due to being unable to co-ordinate drinks dates with girls in time before they lost interested or (in the case of tourists) continued on their travelling, with the final straw being losing a girl who asked to come with me from a club because I had nowhere to take her. Earlier this year I lost motivation to approach because of these losses, thinking that I would make up for it by approaching hardcore after moving out and that approaching while still living with my parents was a waste of time. I went from approaching regularly to becoming a “weekend warrior” of sorts. Don’t fall into that trap, your penis will weep for you and your game will start improving at a snail’s pace and if you stop altogether it will probably atrophy if you leave it for long enough.

Ease of Approaching

The example of what happened to me highlights one of the most crucial advantages that logistics gives you: ease of approaching. While having better logistics obviously makes it much easier to bang girls whether you met them that night or you just took them on a date, it also makes you approach much more.

When you have great logistics you are always motivated to approach because every time you step outside your front door you’ll pass by cute girls on the street. Whenever your bored and have nothing to do on a Wednesday night you can take a stroll to the bar down the corner to see if there’s any talent, something you wouldn’t do if you had to make the long journey each way from suburbia. With logistics, you not only have a better chance of banging each girl you approach, you approach much more because of the infinitely smaller amount of activation energy each approach will require.

I know this because not so long ago a member of the RVF got in touch with me to say that he was visiting my city. While back at home he lived with his parents in the suburbs, when he visited he got a hotel room in the middle of all the action. While back at home it was difficult for him to approach between his job and his living situation, when visiting he was easily able to approach heavily and broke a vicious dry spell he had been experiencing. With no doubt in my mind that would have slept with more girls if he were visiting long enough to follow up on the dozens phone numbers he acquired in the short period of time.

Now stop and think the difference in your average man’s level of game and sex life after a few years of living with his parents versus living with great logistics like in the above example. This is why it’s imperative for young guys to leave the nest as soon as possible, because when you’re young you’re not a lame corporate manboob yet have massive energy, libido and potential and every day you that you don’t harness that you waste it.

Moving Out Is An Essential Step In Becoming A Man

The earlier you leave, the less complacent you will be later. Don’t become one of those parent’s basement dwelling 27 year old’s. Feminists do indeed say this a lot, but it is true that any dude who still lives with his mum is not a man yet.

Many of you will say that you cannot afford to move out. Before you say that research how much your rent, bills and groceries will cost you if your share an apartment. Plus the cost of your clothes, alcohol, cover charges and every other expense that you will be responsible for.  An easy way to estimate this is to take how much rent will be paying and multiply it by four, or three if you’re not going to be taxed much and aren’t concerned about saving yet.

Make Sacrifices

In order to slash your rent, which will be your biggest expense, considering converting living room the living room of your apartment into an extra bedroom, perhaps with the use of portable walls, to reduce your individual rent burdens. You might think this will overcrowd the apartment, but if you’d rather designate a special room just to watch television rather then making moving out home possible you need to rethink your priorities. If you need a space for everybody to gather and chill, using somebodies bedroom can suffice.

Sacrificing space in order to move out from your parents home is worth it. I once lived overseas with 3 of my friends and I slept in the one room divided into quadrants, each of us with only a wardrobe, desk and a bed to our personal space. Despite these living conditions, it was one of the happiest times of my life because of the experiences I had and memories I made in that period, two things which are much more important to one’s happiness than material possessions. Besides you’re young, you don’t need all that much space.

I understand that it’s not financially possible for many people to move unless you have a full time job. With part time work, savings and support from family or the government it is however very possible (depending on where you live) if you make sacrifices and budget well. Hell, you already know somebody that is doing it. In the end, you will never know unless you try. Whether it is a success or a failure and you end up moving back in with your parents, moving out is a fundamental to personal growth as a man in the 21st century.  I’m taking my shot at it, and I urge you all to “man up” and take a shot as well.

Read Next: 5 Bachelor Pad Essentials