In late October of this year, a Gawker commenter using the alias “KillerMartinis” posted a short essay entitled “Why I Make Terrible Decisions, Or, Poverty Thoughts”. The title and article were written to suggest that the author had not only personally experienced the hardships described in the piece, but that impoverished conditions were essentially unsolvable…
I make a lot of poor financial decisions. None of them matter, in the long term. I will never not be poor, so what does it matter if I don’t pay a thing and a half this week instead of just one thing?
The article rapidly went viral and was reprinted at The Huffington Post. Many readers responded sympathetically and offers of help flooded in, since “KillerMartinis” portrayed herself as a Sisyphean victim of fate, constantly striving to manage the burden of raising small children while juggling two jobs and college courses. She eventually revealed herself as Linda Walther Tirado and set up a web page for donations, netting approximately $60,000. There are now talks of a book deal, so that she can “educate” Americans on what it’s like to be part of the Working Poor.
Unfortunately for her gullible donors and literary agent, Ms. Tirado is a fraud. She is in fact a middle-class child of privilege who has squandered numerous opportunities while trashing the parents that have bailed her out. America is a place where the poor can better themselves through wits and hard work; similarly, the well-to-do can lower themselves through stupidity and sloth. Ms. Tirado richly deserves a life of poverty, but she has avoided this fate mostly because her parents and in-laws understandably don’t want their grandchildren to live in filth and squalor.
Don’t believe this “poor” woman
I immediately doubted the veracity of the original article based on Ms. Tirado’s pseudonym (poor people generally don’t drink martinis—they drink beer and cheap liquor) and the fact that the article is written in the “Valley Girl” argot affected by spoiled middle and upper-class feminists.
It took a minimal amount of researching her Gawker comment history for me to verify my suspicion. See below for the damning evidence, which include excerpts from her original viral essay, her comment history, her follow-up article in the Huffington Post, and her donation page.
She lies about her motives
Her Gawker piece states this:
There’s no way to structure this coherently. They are random observations that might help explain the mental processes. But often, I think that we look at the academic problems of poverty and have no idea of the why. We know the what and the how, and we can see systemic problems, but it’s rare to have a poor person actually explain it on their own behalf. So this is me doing that, sort of.
But in the past she wrote this:
I write things about poverty occasionally because I have a responsibility to. I feel a certain moral push to write about this thing that is alien to so many people, because I have the words to describe it. I know many people with much more interesting stories than mine, much more heart-wrenching and outrage-inducing, much more beautiful, much less messy. But the people living them did not go to the best schools and did not worry about their SAT scores and don’t know the word prose. They can’t tell their stories in a way that makes sense to the media system we’re working out. And so I wonder: maybe the thing I should be doing is translating their stories into something that uses the right words.
She lies about her work schedule
Her Gawker piece states this:
Rest is a luxury for the rich. I get up at 6AM, go to school (I have a full courseload, but I only have to go to two in-person classes) then work, then I get the kids, then I pick up my husband, then I have half an hour to change and go to Job 2. I get home from that at around 1230AM, then I have the rest of my classes and work to tend to. I’m in bed by 3. This isn’t every day, I have two days off a week from each of my obligations.
But in the past she wrote this:
She’s ungrateful about being bailed out by her parents
Her Gawker piece states this:
When I was pregnant the first time, I was living in a weekly motel for some time. I had a minifridge with no freezer and a microwave. I was on WIC.
But in the past she wrote this:
When my parents came to be there for the birth and they saw what we were dealing with they moved us to Utah and gave us a trailer to live in. And then when we had our second and final daughter they helped us find a house to live in and now we have some space for once.
She lies about her living conditions
Her Gawker piece states this:
We have learned not to try too hard to be middle-class. It never works out well and always makes you feel worse for having tried and failed yet again.
[…]
Junk food is a pleasure that we are allowed to have; why would we give that up? We have very few of them.
But in the past she wrote this:
I am turning my kids’ room into a forest, because I own this house and I can. I’ve found some awesome tutorials on making tree stump and mushroom stools, but I’d be interested in any pictures or ideas that you guys have. I want them to want to play in their own spaces and leave my china cabinet alone.
[…]
Yeah, I just sort of decided that they should have awesome stuff. I don’t want them spoiled, so I don’t want more toys, but I would like them to wake up thinking that life is really cool.
She lies about workplace discrimination, exposes herself as pushy and ungrateful
Her Gawker piece states this:
I would make a super legal secretary, but I’ve been turned down more than once because I “don’t fit the image of the firm,” which is a nice way of saying “gtfo, pov.”
But in the past she wrote this:
You guys, I started my swanky job. It was fantastic except for the following: nobody seems to be sure exactly why I was hired, outside of one specific task that will take maybe 1/20 of my contracted hours. I got the feeling that they hoped I’d be able to branch them out into more outreach, but they’re really uncomfortable with moving into more overtly political strategies and I felt some pushback on anything resembling confrontation.
She pisses away an insurance check and turns her hair into rat’s nest
Her Gawker piece states this:
I am not beautiful. I have missing teeth and skin that looks like it will when you live on b12 and coffee and nicotine and no sleep. Beauty is a thing you get when you can afford it…
But in the past she wrote this:
I was hit by a drunk driver, fucked up my teeth, and took the insurance check before I realized that they would not be covering dental, thankyouverymuch.
I am the queen of conditioning. I bleach/re-dye every month or so, so I keep four separate kinds of oil around. That way I can’t ever run out of them all at once.
She lies about her material possessions
Her Gawker piece states this:
“Free” only exists for rich people.
But in the past she wrote this:
Work issued me a phone, tablet, and laptop…
I had a phone screen malfunction and accidentally hit submit. I can’t even post an awesome gif because it’s a new phone and I haven’t figured out pasting.
She exposes herself as a total hypocrite, flunks out of college her first go-around, yet considers herself a literary genius
Her Gawker piece states this:
It’s great that there’s a bowl of condoms at my school, but most poor people will never set foot on a college campus. We don’t belong there.
But in the past she wrote this:
I’m on my first semester back since my late teens, when I earned myself a whopping .48 GPA by not going to class. Ever. So I’m on super-probation and the theory is that they don’t want us to overwhelm ourselves.
So, I get that we can’t close higher education to the masses and all, but does everyone struggle this hard with the stupid when they go back to school? I can’t believe how light the coursework is, or how much bitching commences every day after class.
She tricks the Sisterhood into paying her bar tab
Her Gawker piece states this:
I am not asking for sympathy.
Then a commenter named Greenheart wrote:
She [KillerMartinis] just mentioned that they’re gonna shut off her electricity in 6 hours. If those of us who can afford it all chipped in like $5 each, we could easily fix that problem with no more pain to ourselves than not getting any fancy coffee today. Who’s down?
ETA: KillerMartinis has elected to have me pay the bill for her, so anyone who is interested in helping out can email me and I’ll send you my PayPal username. Thank you so much for all your help, everyone!”
In the end, fools and their money are soon parted.
Family members shouldn’t hold their breaths waiting for this spendthrift to pay her debts now that she has received a windfall.
I am not the first to poke holes in this woman’s testimony. Many of the doubters are fixating on whether her teeth are as bad as she claims. This is actually one of the few things Tirado is honest about (she posted a video showing the stomach-turning evidence). However, she received an insurance settlement and probably blew through the money instead of spending it on treatment.
The reason Tirado’s post went viral is not because it was well-written or based in reality, but because it provided “proof” for the bedrock belief of modern liberals that the poor are unable to wipe their own asses without help from a government program. I hope the soft-hearted people who gave money to this swindler (her take is $60,000) have learned their lesson.
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I was just about to delete my Facebook account when I read this and I’m still going to. There was an article I read the other day that told how Facebook is causing people to lose the art of conversation. It also leads to higher levels of depression due to people convincing themselves that their lives are not as awesome as the “friends” they have on Facebook. Having your 400 “friends” like everything you post makes people feel like they are celebrities, only increasing their sense of entitlement for little or no accomplishment. However, I did pillage a pizza hut waitress who originally only gave me her Facebook info. She was an 8 in looks but I don’t think this is the norm. This was about 2 or 3 years ago before Facebook really became popular. So it is possible the perception of what it meant to be friends on Facebook may have been different back then.
23yo aussie, don’t use facebook and never have. There is absolutely no way I would be able to fuck/date concurrent girls as I do while having facebook. I constantly have multiple “girlfriends” who don’t know about each other.
Making girls feel like they are your girlfriend (in unison with tight game and aloof jerk mode) means they will put out more sex, more often, and be more supplicant. It just doesn’t work on more than one if you have facebook.
Facebook isn’t causing anything other than amplifying the obvious. If you’re some loser and relative bottom scum, you’re not awesome and the fact that others are way better than you is right there IN YOUR FACE. If someone can’t deal with that and is too socially awkward to do so in the first place, That’s not my problem. Probably not yours, either.
What’s “Facebook”?
My experience with facebook has been somewhat different. Recently I was tagged in a photo taken while out with a female friend. Within a day I received a friend request from a woman I’d never met. She had an attractive profile picture so I accepted the request and shot her a message. We exchanged casual messages for a few days then agreed we’d likely see each other out at X bar when the weekend came. We did run into each other, she came home with me, and I banged her.
In another instance I met a girl out at a bar who I had never met, but after we had sex that night she confessed to having previously stocked my profile. So I would think twice about deleting your profile.
That said, I would never consider “facebook closing” a girl unless one of us was traveling internationally. When abroad, facebook is a fantastic tool for communicating.
Exactly, he is just pointing out the disadvantages. Facebook closing has several advantages over number closing. It’s safer to close, it’s easier to communicate afterwards and hence build interest.
Deleted my Facebook account over a year ago. The issue with facebook isn’t the close ration etc….it’s that it can be an easy disqualifier. It’s been proven time and again that women are more pickier when they see a photo of you. One bad photo on your facebook acct and youre toast. Rest assure that every chick you have hooked up with has scrolled through facebook trying to find yoru account so they can see your photos. I have learned this lesson the hard way. Plus, deleting facebook gives you an aura of mystery that women love. I can’t believe i ever used it – it’s so stupid.
There is very little upside to facebook and a ton of downside. Delete it.
‘every chick you have hooked up with has scrolled through facebook trying to find yoru account so they can see your photos’
I know it’s too much to presume that girls act logically, but seriously, why would she browse through your photos to validate your looks when she’s already met you in person?
I have a tiny profile picture and I’m tagged in another one. I get requests from the girls I have never ever met and honestly, I have no idea if the profile pic is a factor, ’cause you can barely see my face in it. Full disclosure: I’m by no means ugly, but it’s hard too take a good picture of me, so it’s not the killer looks they’re after.
Fb is a tool. You can use it right and you can use it wrong.
Plus, deleting facebook gives you an aura of mystery that women love. I can’t believe i ever used it – it’s so stupid.This.
Mystery? Is THAT bullshiite STILL getting around? The alleged purpose of “mystery” was to not answer the phone on prime social nights so that a woman thought you were happening enough not to be swarmed by the dampness of your parents basement 24/7/365.
If you’re an actual social being and not some awkward phaggot, “mystery” is irrelevant.
One “bad photo” of you probably means you’re enough of a loser to be DQ’ed, anyway. That would have come out w/out Facebook being in the way.
Great post
I have a different opinion. You have to manage your Facebook presence – always untag bad/incriminating photos. Also, when I add a girl I only put her on Restricted so she only sees what I want her to see but I still get to chat with her.
Having said that, you don’t want to be “Facebook friends” for too long before meeting up again.
dude roosh himself wrote a post a while back which i had the luxury of reading telling of the benefits to the facebook close. it spoke of the effortless preselection, and how they feel like they know you better than they do just from seeing a couple of posts.
i dont really buy it. i usually dig rooshs wisdom but facebook closing wouldnt fit into my methods. first i dont post that much because i could care fucking less about facebook. second i lie quite often to broads about my age and name and all that, and you know… facebook blows your cover.
preselection isnt hard anyway. talk to a couple of girls in front of them. if they have had a couple dates with you leave your phone on the table and go take a piss. they WILL check out the contacts (just hide the texts). answer girls calls in front of them and dont care about it. easier than maintaining hundreds of virtual friendships just to get an inch of benefit out of it. my opinion anyways. and if she “doesnt give out her phone number” next that bitch.
in other words, agreed wholeheatredly.
I don’t use facebook. How mad are you?
IMO this is corny, especially if you’re a younger guy. It’s easy as shit to manage your facebook account and an unbelievably easy way to DHV as hard as you want without seeming try-hard (i.e. telling a girl how rad your car is vs. posting a picture of you working on it, etc.). I agree that ‘facebook closing’ a girl instead of getting a number is retarded, but I don’t think there’s any reason for a single guy to delete it. Why would you have an online dating profile (if you do) but not facebook? It’s the same thing but way less creepy and way more broad-reaching (pun intended). Don’t let your friends tag you in stupid, drunk pictures, only post ones that make you look cool or popular or masculine, and post a funny status once every few weeks. I cannot count the number of times I’ve gotten laid, directly or at least indirectly, from facebook.
I disagree with most of this. While it sure is bad when you have a ltgf, if you have plenty of pictures with gorgeous females on your profile it works like in real life: you’ve planted the seeds of jealousy. I have a friend who practices this, it works wonders.
While I agree that its relatively easy to regulate your FB privacy settings to keep your movements mostly anonymous I think this post has alot of wisdom. I haven’t deactivated my FB because i keep in touch with my social circle through it, however in general I definitely do not use it as a tool to close.
Girls have gotten wise to the fact that you ARE bragging about your car/house/possessions if you post a pic of these things on your profile, its not as subtle a way of DHV as you may think. In addition I think it greatly reduces your mystery, why would she have a conversation with you about your job/experiences/whatever if she can get all that info in 5 minutes by looking at your Facebook, and then move on to the next dude. In its own way your profile becomes a way to qualify yourself. In my experience it takes a great deal of my game out of the equation by becoming facebook FRIENDS.
When she asks me for my Facebook I tell her I dont have one, because its a headache.
meh. There’s a valid point about still preferring the phone, but it all largely depends. I banged and dated girls off facebook chat after a “facebook close”. Better than nothing. Jerry Seinfeld once got chick’s number of AIDS walk list 😉
Sorry man, but I strongly disagree with this argument.
I have quantifiably tested this and can tell you respond rates and conversion rate to bangs are higher with Face-closing than number closing. Guys just need to ‘pimp’ your profile right and increase privacy.
I can definitely see how that would work for you considering all the awesome and interesting travel pictures you probably have on your profile.
Great article P Dog. It’s definitely a tool that severely stalls progress. The only good reason for it is if you’re surrounded by other people and it’s less conspicuous to say “I’ll add you on Facebook” rather than asking for her number, while all of your non-verbal communication says “and fuck you later”.
It’s true. Facebook is bullshit when it comes to dating. I’ve had so many girls add me, only to text back, changing their minds about meeting me, or by outright deleting me off their list a day or 2 later. And my profile isn’t that bad either.
I would suggest what Paul Janka advises where if you really have to add them on your list. Be sure to fuck them first. Women are a lot more merciful and forgiving about the small details after you’ve fucked them.
If you’re picking up girls in foreign country, facebook closing is very good. I think I’ve seen Krauser do facebook closes too.
Defenitly agree with the context, travelling or hometown. Huge difference.
At some point, be letting a girl giving acces you give away a lot of information, so you’re suddenly not so mysterious anymore.
On the other hand, you choose yourself what she can see, so you can compare it with a profile on a dating site.
Another advantage is that chatting is cheaper and easier than calling, espaciallly when you’re dating multiple women.
At the end, I think not giving a women acces to your FB will only give you advantage, because it makes you more mysterious.
oh man – not true! Facebook and soce likely to social networks are genius for pickup. I find a FB close is even better than a number close and actually more likely to lead to a date. If you are getting lots of numbers, and meeting girls frequently, then its too easy for everybody to forget anyway. Its higher pressure and more likely to flake. With social network, there is no pressure, the contact is guaranteed and comes with a photo. You can the message, chat and close.
Finally ditched Facebook for the 3rd and hopefully final time.
Another bullshit PUA article.
In reality though, if a girl is attracted to your looks and feels chemistry with you or vibes with you, she will go out with you. All you have to do is get her number and ask her out, or she will. It doesn’t matter if you “Facebook close her” rather than get her number, or if you use any “game or technique”. Those aren’t going to make any difference in her attraction to you. If she likes you, it doesn’t matter whether you call her or FB message her. If she doesn’t like you, it won’t matter either.
Why are so many guys out there giving bad advice on blogs, putting people in cartoonish categories like “alpha and beta” and acting like dating is a “skill or technique”? Relationships are not like machines you can control. What bullshit. These guys act like they have no real life experience with women or with people in general. They are a bunch of geeks making up bullshit stories and giving bullshit advice that doesn’t apply to the real world. So stupid.
I’m on the fence here. I’ve closed via Facebook repeatedly but I don’t have a Facebook account at all these days. Although if I remade one, I could regulate all of the content, which would provide me a position of influence. I’m a twitter man.
I use facebook for two game things, and find it quite useful:
-Building “comfort”: Helps girls feel like they know me better, (plus I’m doing lots of fun, high-value stuff in my pics). I’m always trying to fast track sex, and see this as an efficiency– it does some of the work for me.
-Research: aka trying to get a better idea of what a girl I’ve met online actually looks like, to determine if I actually want to keep pursuing.
Haven’t really experienced any of the downsides listed, tho “facebook closing” seems retarded, unless that’s your only option.