At the beginning of 2013, and at the age of 30, I made a commitment to get good at game. My pre-game lay count was at 7, and now it is at 14. It has been an intense journey so far. And I hope to provide some inspiration when I share with you that in one year a man can accomplish what previously took him 12 years.
The change isn’t limited to the quantity of sex, but also includes changes in my thoughts and beliefs that come from a sustained dedication to the game. Here, in celebration of my first-year anniversary as well as the doubling of my notch-count, I am going to highlight my primary lessons for ROK readers. I should note that these are not truths that I could have ever adopted instantaneously. They spread through the body gradually. They are lived truths, emerging out of months of persistent action.
1. Game and the economy of emotions
The pre-game attitude is emotionally wasteful! My pre-game sex involved heavy emotional investment, reckless and unwise attachments, and the consequent highs and lows. I used to consider meeting each girlfriend a “major life event” similar to moving to a new city or finding a new job. Not regarding girls as major life events leads to a steadier and more solid emotional life, which further supports your commitment to improving at game and increases your value as a man.
The way I have come to assess the efficiency of my own emotional workings is through a single indicator: the capacity to be focused, motivated, and productive when I am alone. The post-game emotional paradigm is a paradigm that allows me to push my life forward when I am away from women, instead of dwelling in pointless insecurities, or being distracted away from my own personal journey. The post-game attitude is emotionally efficient.
2. Game and the balance of discipline and pleasure
Being in the game is, ideally, the disciplined pursuit of pleasure. Working on this balance itself is a very transferable and generally useful skill in other areas of life. For guys like me who are hard-working, more emphasis should be placed on “pleasure,” while “discipline” should be emphasized for guys who are more hedonistic.
The pleasure-driven attitude allows me to enjoy the fun of the game, especially the kind of fun that comes unexpectedly. On the other hand, the discipline-driven attitude gives me resilience and the work ethic I need to stick with it. Being discipline-driven allows me to stop questioning the merit of every single action; should I go out tonight? Should I do this approach? A disciplined mind is a mind that is always equipped with a default answer in these situations: yes.
When I make the mistake of focusing on the discipline of it alone, my game suffers immediately because of the absence of the fun vibe in my interaction with women. When I make the mistake of focusing on the pleasure alone, although I can discover more and enjoy more, I become vulnerable to the outcome. That is why the ideal method consists of the balance between pleasure and discipline.
3. Game and the balance of responsibility and acceptance
You should neither take responsibility for everything nor accept everything. This is the same idea as picking your battles. Personally, I accept that not every girl is susceptible to my game. I also accept that I cannot adopt any style of game, and that my method should be rooted in my character and who I am as a man. By contrast, I take responsibility for consistent practice, consistent reflection (e.g., keeping a journal and studying the resources), and for revising my assumptions in the face of new information about women.
My pre-game attitude was heavily based on acceptance, while my early post-game attitude was heavily based on responsibility. The first attitude leads to passivity and inaction, while the second attitude leads to frustration. The ideal method of game is colored with the balance between acceptance and responsibility.
4. Game and the no-excuse mindset
The most important reason for the no-excuse mindset is the existence of “low-hanging fruits.” Believe it or not, there are girls out there who are hoping to meet guys. And that putting enough effort will inevitably place you in the right place and right time to encounter them. These girls are relatively easy and fun to game. They don’t actively block your progress. They are open to developing attraction for you. They are open to entering into a mode where they are putting in effort to maintain your attention. After grasping this truth, you will have no excuse not to get laid, and your world will change forever.
5. Game and the masculine culture
Getting good at game transformed my view of masculinity, my relationship to other men, and my standards of friendships. The game is an essential component in developing a larger appreciation and awareness of what it means to be a man and what it means to lead a life of value and high character. As I hold myself against certain standards, I cannot help but distinguish my fellow men based on their courage, honesty, authenticity, and a desire for excellence. The culture of masculinity is worth celebrating precisely because of the way it can express these qualities. It is my belief that you cannot get too deep into game without a deep reverence for your own masculinity.
Conclusion
The sustained commitment to improving at game leads to foundational changes in perspective. You grasp the essential necessity of maintaining certain balances (the emotional balance, the balance between pleasure and discipline, and the balance between acceptance and responsibility), and you live the no-excuse mindset that is informed by masculine values. Despite all its challenges and pains, game is ultimately a rewarding journey toward building a more mature and a more complex character.
Read More: 5 Game Lessons From Barney Stinson
Glad you are having such success with “game”. If there were even any halfway decent females around here I would be tempted to give it a try.
no. do not make excuses for yourself. if there arent any nice chicks in your area, move to another city/state/continent. if you arent willing to move, maybe scoring poon isnt that high on your list of priorities. no shame in that, just admit youre not getting any because of your own choices, rather than bad luck. cheers.
Excellent mindset.
@guest, all women have the same instinctual hardwiring. It is only paternal authority (for the good) or independent experience (for the bad) that overrides that basic stimulation-response activity. Game with people, platonically if not sexually. Most men are simulated women to fit in. Learn what the fuck works BEFORE that HB stands before you. It will increase your odds and increase what you can learn from the interaction. You are too emotionally invested NOT in yourself. Re-read this post. Hell, maybe find a mentor where you live. However, only self-education can help you no matter what other men provide you.
I used to have game and then I had an LTR that went to shit. I’m almost 30 and I’m lazy to hit on chicks, scared too. This article motivated me time to practice what I’d preach. I will develop my own style of game based on the guiding principles. I will clean my place and get it bang ready. I will hit the gym. I will approach regularly and start hitting the night scene. I don’t have a lot of money now either so I will get the lay before dating. I will not buy Drinks when night gaming or pay covers. A few weeks ago I say down at a random hb’s outdoor cafe table and chatted her up. Time to do more of that and be in frame
Been living that way for the last two years. Expect ups and downs and keep slugging away slow and steady. I’m starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. Vapidity can be manipulated in person, not just far away through media. Vapid women are manipulating you within The System. Good luck with offsetting your costs of feminism with its benefits!
“you live the no-excuse mindset that is informed by masculine values”
imo this is the greatest reward of game.
good read
OT…but never tooooo far OT for ROK.
Catfight….rrrrraaaarrrrrrrr.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2531860/Coffee-shop-baristas-bikinis-fire-calling-customer-huge-fat-b-telling-save-world-hunger-shooting-yourself.html
Great news story. I wonder if RoK would want to weigh in on this. I am tweeting on #LoveSipsAhoy, #MeghanCalavan, #FatShaming.
Another typical Western story of PC asswipes being defensive and taking things overboard to defend their putrid, selfish, uncouth nature. These cuties running a successful (and dare I say unique and tasteful 😉 ) business spreading some well-deserved fat shaming and the whiteknights and PC police retract with threats, destruction, and violence.
Another OT but also important… If anyone wants to know why men should not get married, let them watch the ‘Divorce Corp’ documentary trailers. It will be out on January 10 and the feminists are calling for a boycott.
Divorce Corp Film Trailer (Documentary)
Divorce Corp Film: Pay Your Ex for Life
Divorce Corp Film: False Child Abuse Claims
More videos here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/DivorceCorp/videos
This is the best video showing why men should not get married. This is the only video in the world directly out of a divorce court…please pass it around.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSZYAg6SccY
Albatross, you write with maturity. Hard to believe you got to a philosophically sound consciousness in one year. The emotional efficiency is something I am starting to master only as I approach my 2nd anniversary. Instead of balance I would frame in terms of purpose. What has been difficult for me has been the withdrawal of emotional investment in ‘my society’ even after withdrawal of intellectual investment in The System. Vapid chicks love it. You are closing right way. Me thinks you have a target rich environment and some functional role models physically present from which to absorb various details. Great crux in your post. It really is the difference in attraction. At least I think so right now.
The social reality (and emotional impact you mentioned, which are difficult to withdraw from) has the benefit of being held (and thus supported) by a large mass of people. That’s why I strongly believe being (and staying) connected to a group of like-minded men is essential in staying on track, and in breaking away from the mainstream way of thinking. When you operate with a few regular contact with a few other men, you all support each other’s reality, with enough force that can push against the mainstream. As Jack Donovan said, “the Way of Men is the way of the gang”. I would similarly to say, the reality that a man chooses to inhabit is most sustainable as a kind of gang reality.
I’ve been on this journey alone offline. Most guys that know of Game don’t know about Game, imo. Online we see what we see. I’ve met two guys in person who know of Game and think they know about Game or life. I will definitely move to a better location as soon as I can. Hell, I want the mobile life of a NR 4-hour workweek. Something to shoot for. Need that mobililty to meet anyone worth meeting.
Congrats! May 2014 bring you over 14 more women.
“The way I have come to assess the efficiency of my own emotional workings is through a single indicator: the capacity to be focused, motivated, and productive when I am alone. The post-game emotional paradigm is a paradigm that allows me to push my life forward when I am away from women, instead of dwelling in pointless insecurities, or being distracted away from my own personal journey. ”
Good stuff. Duly noted.
Thanks for a good honest post. Sometimes you read things on here and feel miles away in terms of relating, this, I think many readers can relate too right now.
Good stuff. I especially like your emphasis on seeking balance between being diligent and disciplined in working towards your goals, and just enjoying it and having fun. I too am finding it is the best way to approach life in general.
good article. I enjoyed reading the concept.
Oy! Imagine evaluating your life based on the number of times you stick your finger in someone else’s nose, then calling it “being a man.”
Character, wisdom, knowledge, strength, kindness, charity, etc.? Feh! Poon uber alles!
Game is more than just fucking broads. Game is a life-style, a discipline, and paradigm shift. It’s self-control, determination, wisdom, confidence, social prowess, and self-actualization. The art of learning and perfecting game inherently bestows other immeasurably valuable traits to a man’s life than simply getting your dick wet more frequently.
Well said General. Let me back your statement 110%. Though I, personally, do not bother with “game” when it comes to women, I do bother with being “alpha” which is highly related. Moving to alpha actually vastly reduced by respect for women further.
When in the presence of an alpha women just fall all over him. As much as they might try and resist they just can’t do it. I find that quite pathetic actually. All the women who attack me on the web are just “alpha attention whoring”. They love alpha male attention and they will say and do anything to get it.
“The game is an essential component in developing a larger appreciation and awareness of what it means to be a man and what it means to lead a life of value and high character. As I hold myself against certain standards, I cannot help but distinguish my fellow men based on their courage, honesty, authenticity, and a desire for excellence. The culture of masculinity is worth celebrating precisely because of the way it can express these qualities. It is my belief that you cannot get too deep into game without a deep reverence for your own masculinity.”
This is a very interesting statement and worthy of comment. Regardless of “game” developing a larger appreciation and awareness of what it means to be a man is a very noble cause for any young man to pursue. It is one I have pursued in my life.
Boiled down, in my opinion, it means “do what is right regardless of the consequences”.
The most valuable asset a man has is his word. His handshake. If a man is his word. If he can be relied on no matter what? He will live a great life. I learned this at Landmark Forum in 95. I was one of those guys who always had an excuse when “things did not work out as planned” due to “circumstances outside my control”.
We have all heard that phrase, right? Well? What I leaned was that I was being slimy with my word. If I put my word to something and circumstances got out of control and I could not do what I said I was going to do I would find a “reason” for it not being so.
Since I did the Landmark Forum in 95 I stick to my word. If there are circumstances where I have to go back on what I promised then I make sure I clean that up rather than being slimy with my word.
There is no lesson more important for a man to learn than how to “be your word”. If you want to master this skill then you spend a year doing the Curriculum for Living at Landmark Education. If you do that? You will be transformed beyond all recognition just as I was. You will also have the life skills you need to be unstoppable in whatever you choose to do.
People ask me “Why do you think you can remove all members of parliament in Australia and Ireland? Why do you think you can put them all on trial? Why do you think you can defeat governments?”
My response is “Why would I think I can NOT do that? Why would I think so small and so little of myself?”
Whether you think you can transform a country, or even the quality of life of hundreds of millions of men, or not?
You will very likely be correct.
I think I can do that because I am a MAN and everything that implies. There is, quite literally, nothing a committed man can not achieve if he really puts his mind to it. To think any less of yourself is to short change yourself. Think about it.
By the way? This is how well this works. When I was 5 in 1969 I watched the moon landing on TV. I decided that day “I am going to work for NASA when I grow up”. I was growing up in farmland Australia. The idea of working or NASA one day was laughable, right?
In 1990 I got the call. A friend of mine worked at NASA in Houston and she wanted me to come help design the source code control systems for the International Space Station. In all the people in IBM I was the one who go the call. I was in San Francisco and just about to start a 2 week holiday at the time. So I could afford a few days on my holiday to go to NASA and design the source code control system for the International Space Station.
I was 26….and I had fulfilled the boyhood dream of “one day I will work for NASA”. As I flew out of Houston I was so self satisfied. It does not get much better than that. So if I can go from the playing fields of Wagga Wagga to Houston and design a critical piece of productivity software? Why would I NOT be able to do anything I set my mind to.
And if I can do that? And there is nothing “special” about me? Why can’t YOU (meaning any man who reads this) do what I did? Why can’t you achieve anything you set your mind to?
Dude, you need to learn to make your point in 1-2 short paragraphs.
Know what you want, follow through with conviction, make your dreams come true. Is that so hard to say ?
“Dude, you need to learn to make your point in 1-2 short paragraphs.”
Dude….you are well advised to grow an attention span. If you don’t like what I say? Scroll past.
Is there anything similar to the landmark education in the uk that your aware off?
Landmark runs in downtown london. Jennifer did it there in May 2007 and realised that the issues in our marriage were of her making. A number of friends of mine also did it in 2010….so as late as 2010 I know they were in London.
No..I don’t get paid for promoting them.
http://landmarkworldwidelondon.com/
Landmark London
203 Eversholt Street
Ground Floor
London, United Kingdom NW1 1BU
Phone: +44-20-7969-2020
Fax: +44-20-7969-2029
ok, cool thanks ill check it out.
what a p.o.s.article…
exactly – newbies think game is about getting laid… players get laid because they are good at game and know pussy is just a benefit that comes along for the ride….
success is achieved though good preparation….
health + bank balance + notch count = how good at game you are.
there’s no point in focusing just on pussy… that is the cherry not the cake.
I have to, because the Church tells me it is a sin to put my finger in my own nose.
“My pre-game lay count was at 7, and now it is at 14”
Thank you for making me feel a lot better about myself. Did not found love yet, but I had some fun along the way.
“love is a fog that burns with the first daylight of reality.” — Charles Bukowski
One of the best articles here so far. Should be required reading for every young man, will share with my son. Well done, Albatross.
I think it was David D. who said having a good father is the about the greatest gift a man can receive in his life. Regardless of my article, sounds like you are giving that gift to him. Best of luck!
One of the best articles I have ever read. I wish I knew about Game fifteen years ago. I am happily married now, but I use Game-like thinking in business and social interactions and it has changed my life. Thank you for this article Albatross.
Thanks man! My friend (about whom I wrote a little, here: http://goo.gl/yzQ1f4), once said ‘game is different things to different people; for someone it is the means to getting laid; for someone else it is a path of self-discovery; and, for someone else it is an insurance policy.’ Along similar lines, Roosh once made the radical statement that game is a way of discovering certain deep truths about life. I agree whole-heartedly with these two statements, and your comment makes me think you also have a similarly poeticized belief about game.
Bravo! You should definitely post more over RoK. This article has real intellectual merit, as well I thoroughly enjoyed the authentic feel to it. It seems your balanced, yet disciplined, approach to game has helped you excel where others have struggled.
I think it is interesting that “masculine culture” is loosely defined by this man as predatory gaming of women.
So masculinity at its heart is about being a cocky and selfish sack of shit. I couldn’t agree more, actually. I’m pretty sure this is what many feminists have been saying for years.
If you consider it in abstract terms, it is really about recognition of one’s desire and then taking action, methodically, diligently, passionately, and unapologetically. Therefore, masculinity is not exclusively — or even necessarily — about gaming women.
How is it “predatory” if women are “strong and independent” and not being forced into being attracted to the men that are pursuing them? You can’t have it both ways, you know.