Living in Toronto for the past few years, it seems that a lot of people actively hate on the dating market and I often hear a lot of consistent feedback around how challenging it is to pick up, how entitled the women are and how much of an effort it is to get anything going with low quality prospects. Hopefully the points below will help you succeed if you’re a long-term resident or stopping by for a visit.
Success Basics
1. Get respect
When you approach or get the situation going you need to man-up and go right for the girl. Establishing the respect first is key because it allows you to move onto the following steps. This means you don’t buy her a drink first, you shoot down her ego if she’s being loud or obnoxious, and you walk past all her friends in her group just to talk to her.
2. Go for the bang, always
Girls give their numbers out so easily that getting them is basically meaningless at this point. There have been many times where I texted a girl the day after getting her number without her even remembering who I was. Going for the bang ensures you have left a very strong impression in her mind. Plus it’s the 2 steps forward 1 step back rule. If you try to take her home and you have to settle for making out at the club, you’re still better off than just getting her number and walking away. We have had a lot of success with this alone. Even if absolutely nothing happens, you have left a strong enough impression that a date is guaranteed. And once you’ve set up the date the bang is basically a lock because Toronto girls are pretty promiscuous and to them, a date is intimate enough for a bang.
3. Go for the win
If you can’t get the bang and the girl genuinely isn’t interested or is generally being a bitch you need to go for the win. This is just for your piece of mind. You did everything right, but she’s still not interested—fair enough it’s bound to happen. This means providing a value-added social experience, such as maintaining a good conversation where everyone is laughing and having a good time (i.e., you socially come out on top). Or if the girl is acting like a brat, you make fun of her and get her friends to laugh at your jokes at her expense. You get the jist.
This can also help you later on in the night as it establishes your social proof, which can be leveraged against other girls who may be interested in you. There is an even bigger reason to do this that is important to mention. In general, as men, we need to take back this city—calling out girls with poor attitudes helps out everyone in the long-term. If a girl has been scorned for being a bitch, especially by a guy she really liked, then she is far more likely to keep her attitude in check with the next guy she dates. If you’re that next guy, then you benefit from the previous call out. It’s about paying it forward for the other guys in the city.
General Tactics
1. Coming over the top
You need to come over the top hard in every situation. You need to make yourself extremely memorable and get her respect right from the get-go. If you see a girl, you have to approach her immediately, sometimes pushing her friends out-of-the-way. Waiting to get eyes or any indication of attraction is a waste of time. See what you want, and then go get it. If a girl mother hen’s you, you have to literally destroy that person. “Do you ruin your friend’s chances with guys because you’re too ugly to attract a man yourself?” You will obviously get gasps and shocks from her friends. A lot of people buckle here, you just have to come over the top again and explain that they’re acting like immature children. You stop coming over the top when your point has been accepted otherwise cut your losses and walk away.
2. Go Gorilla Monsoon
Like that wrestler from the 80’s you have to literally “gorilla” girls. Telling girls what you’re going to do, what drinks they are going to have, things like that. A particular tactic that works well is directing a girl into a man-made corner, with one hand on a wall and the either on the bar. It gives off a feeling of dominance, while having the side benefit of separating the girl from her potentially cock-blocking friends so you can build some rapport.
3. Constantly call girls out
A lot of girls in the city get away with way too much, like texting back two days later, flaking on plans, and telling you they’re available only so they can change their mind when you offer plans. You need to nip that in the bud right off the bat. If a girl shows up 15 minutes late to a date you need to address it right then and there: “Look you’re 15 minutes late, that’s not cool and an immature thing to do… if you want this to work we need to be on the same page and you need to change your attitude.” This establishes control as well as boundaries and provides a steadying voice in the relationship which women are naturally drawn to.
You’re not trying to be an asshole here per se, you’re looking for someone who can acknowledge they did something wrong and can take responsibility for their actions (someone who has character). A response along the lines of, “You know what, I’m sorry that was lame on my part… first two rounds are on me” is the best case scenario in these situations. And one last thing, as an aside you should be keeping up your end of the bargain by showing up on time, dressing well, and having your shit together. Otherwise, calling her out makes you look like a bitch.
4. “Get bitches in play”
The “bitches in play” principal plays an important role in developing respect. This means talking to some girls you wouldn’t otherwise talk to in order to establish your bar cred/value. This builds respect because girls often want what other girls have. Therefore, talking to attractive girls you may not be interested in actually increases your perceived value to the other girls at the bar you want to approach. And following this, the hotter girls in your vicinity (some of which may have been on the fence about whether they’re into you) will now be more approachable since you have been vetted by other girls.
5. Come in the summer
Come to Toronto between June and September. Toronto is bad in general. Toronto in the winter is even worse.
Logistics
For those of you who plan to visit you should either stay close to the King St. W. strip (i.e. between King and Spadina and King and Bathurst) or near Ossington close to Queen St. These are where most of the bars you want to go to are located. A few subway or street car stops from the bar to your door step is too far for most girls and will likely become a deal breaker. The bar has to be walking distance from your place.
Top 5 Bar Picks
For our purposes (I don’t want to hear stupid comments about what constitutes a “good bar”) there are two types of bars in Toronto that you should go to. First are the bars where “prissed-out-bitches” like to go. These are girls who live in the down-town core (i.e. around queens quay), have corporate jobs, are skinny/fat (do yoga/starve themselves/eat late night poutine or pizza), wear flowy tops/riding boots, have tube limbs (the wrist is the same diameter as the biceps making the arm look like a tube), wear jeggings with flip flops, late 20’s to early 30’s and are usually very hot. In this situation you are sacrificing personality for general hotness. For these types of girls you want to check out…
1. The Undergound
This is the best bar in the city for these types of girls. The music is rock with random sprinkles of hip-hop and sometimes they have a live band (often the band is actually really good so it’s fun regardless of the girl situation).
2. 2Cats
Similar demographic to the underground, but not as good.
The second type of bar is the “sweatbox-danceparty.” This is where you get girls 19-24, university students, slightly edgy, usually have a few tattoos, kind of quirky, can be hipsterish, usually semi-interesting and really good top 40 music. In this situation you are sacrificing talent (fewer hot girls and lower overall average as compared to above) for personality and way more fun.
3. Dance Cave
This is a very young place, but it has the best top 40 in the city, drinks are $3.50 before 11 and there are always hot 20-24 year-olds (not a crazy amount, but they are there) who just want to have an awesome dance party.
4. Bar 244
Bar upstairs, dance floor downstairs, $3 drinks all night, good music and atmosphere.
5. Levack Block
Similar to the two options above. There’s a bar in the front and a sweat box of a dance floor in the back.
Next time you’re passing through send us a note and we’ll help you out / share what we know.
Read More: 4 Common Mistakes That Kill Your Game