6 Types Of Guys Who Try To Get Laid Online

Online dating. The arena of fat chicks and single moms, of duckface and angle shots, of shattered dreams and lost hope. It’s the place you turn to when you’ve exhausted all other options and fear your balls will explode if you don’t get laid this week. Despite its increased popularity, online dating still hasn’t totally shaken off its reputation as the sexual equivalent of a used car lot, a place where quality isn’t the best and nothing is exactly as advertised.

The disadvantages of online dating for men are well known: the quality of the girls is usually below average, the contact-to-response ratio is abysmally bad, and a lot of the time you’ll find girls using pictures of themselves from their younger and much thinner past.

At the same time, many men are recognizing that online dating comes with a unique set of advantages as well. Compared to hitting bars and clubs, online dating is very inexpensive, relatively anonymous, and extremely efficient. For men in high stress jobs, or guys who just don’t like gaming in public, online dating could be the ideal way to meet girls.

But it’s not for everyone. For every guy who can thrive with online dating, there’s another who is probably better off sticking to the clubs or the coffee shop scene. With that in mind, the following are the six types of guys who most commonly use online dating, starting with the ones who are most likely to find success with it compared to other methods.

1.   Dungeons And Dragons Guy

The Dungeons And Dragons Guy is your typical nerd who is scared to leave the house. In other words, a man who suffers from asperger’s or severe social anxiety. Online dating is very effective for this guy in a relative sense: when gaming in real life, he will get nothing (if he’s not good looking); but when gaming online, he will merely get very little. Though he will run into trouble as his interactions move from the laptop to the coffee shop and force him out of his warlock den, online dating at least gives him a chance.


2.   Sweatshop Worker Guy

The sweatshop worker guy can be identified by his tendency to work more than 60 hours a week. Usually found in professions like law and investment banking, he has all the advantages of money and education, but suffers from one crippling flaw: his thirst to earn an annual bonus or “make partner” leaves him a de-facto slave of his bosses and keeps him from having an active social life. For sweatshop worker guy, online dating offers a way of meeting women that doesn’t interfere with his more important corporate ladder climbing duties.

3.   Brad Pitt Lookalike

The Brad Pitt lookalike is simply a man who is so good looking, women take notice. In game, looks matter, and in online game, they matter even more. All the Brad Pitt lookalike needs to do is throw up a few pics and spam girls with lewd messages, and he’ll have a bang by the end of the week.

But of course, just as online dating’s advantages make it ideal for certain types of men, its disadvantages also make it one of the worst ways to meet women for men who are prone to falling into one of the three categories below.

4.   The International Player

The international player is what most of this blog’s readers are or aspire to be: a man who travels the world in search of lays, often hoping to escape the skrillex haircuts and high testosterone of western womandom. Theoretically, an international player shouldn’t have trouble with online dating; after all, dating sites are plenty popular in just about every country. The real problem is this: foreign country game usually requires knowing a bit of the local language, and writing in a foreign language is significantly harder than simply speaking it. This is less of a problem in Asian countries where the women will gladly switch to English, but in much of Russia and Latin America there is a kind of national pride tied up in the language, which means you’ll likely need it to succeed at online dating there if you can’t write in the local language.

5.   The Guy Aiming High

The guy aiming high is exactly what he sounds like: a man who only wants to bang 8s and above. The reason he is less likely to succeed with online dating is simply because really hot girls on dating sites get so much spam, his messages are not likely to get noticed. The brutal truth is that most men who try online dating will have to settle for 6s and below. However, if The Guy Aiming High is also a Brad Pitt lookalike, he may get a little further.

6.   Sasquatch

The opposite of the Brad Pitt lookalike: a man who has been so badly beaten with an ugly stick, he causes children to have nightmares and vaginas to become dryer than fresh sawdust. The reason this man has very little luck with online dating is simple: looks matter much more online than in real life. The brutal reality is that game just doesn’t work as well over a computer screen, for three reasons:

  • You can’t really use body language online
  • It’s much easier to ignore someone online
  • The rules of politeness don’t really apply online and women won’t give you a bit of rope to work with if they’re not into you right away

Game might make or break an average looking guy online, but for the sasquatches of the world, it’s pretty much hopeless.

Of course, there are many men who try to get laid online who do not fall into any of the categories above. The above are merely the 6 types of guys most likely to succeed or fail to an extreme degree when meeting women online. Other online dating archetypes, such as the pedophile and the dick pics guy, are another subject altogether.

Read Next: Internet Dating Killed My Game

48 thoughts on “6 Types Of Guys Who Try To Get Laid Online”

  1. Nice bit of work. It’s a fact that the quality online is consistently sub-par, and if there is an actual hot/semi-hot chick on there, she has 300 emails just like yours. Just from today. 700 more from yesterday.
    I don’t get in line to compete for some mediocre chick’s attention, but I will say, in years past I did well from online dating, and in a couple cases, REAL well. For me though, it wasn’t the match or eharmony stuff, it was myspace (back when that existed)
    Laugh all you want, but it was seriously fish in a barrel. Even had chicks fly in from other states to see me for a weekend. The genius of that dating site is that it WASN’T a dating site, so it was easier to display personality, cast chick-bait, establish pre-selection and flirt without hitting bitch shields. That playground has gone away now, but good riddance. Those chicks were mainly a pain in my ass. The prerequisite drama followed.
    I think being on match and OKCupid stuff is a DLV at this point, making it an even bigger struggle to succeed. I’m all for anyone who wants to fish there, but its not for me anymore.
    In closing, I must protest the main pic of the schlub in the Zeppelin shirt.
    Don’t be dogging Zeppelin like that, man.

    1. I agree. MySpace was overflowing with pussy for me. Before that, the AOL chat rooms was where I met plenty of women with daddy issues and high libido.
      Then FB happened…

    1. LOL, so true
      I am getting hit on by grandmothers and fatties, has not worked for me…”I AM NOT DESPERATE!”

    2. “The brutal truth is that most men who try online dating will have to settle for 6s and below.”
      Exactly. Fuck online dating.

  2. I remember the myspace days. I met a lot of women through there as well, but they were such head cases. One was such a nutcase I considered a restraining order. I gave Match a try in the early 2000’s and it was such a fail. All fatties hiding behind old photos, bad angles, and in some cases other peoples photos. I had the opportunity to try it again two years ago when my buddy let me use his premium account after getting back together with his ex. I was shocked at how attractive some of the women were. There’s a big difference between the city and suburbs, but they all flaked eventually. Choice overload. The way I look at it is there’s so many social activities in the city where you can have face time its pointless. The attractive women are just seeking validation for something.

  3. I once tried internet dating. Searched for about 5 minutes for a good site, then thought, fuck it, and carried on living. Can’t believe I wasted those 5 minutes. Still kicking myself. True story.

    1. We are here to drain our sacks, just turn the lights off, same-same…lol
      Better a 6 and a bang, than a 9 and fap, aka nothing

    2. Shit, I’ve lost 6’s. You can’t even get them off of online dating.

  4. I used to have a prejudice against online dating, but after seeing two women I know start gravitating toward it, I have reconsidered.
    Granted, these two women are post-wall. Let’s face it — they’re old. But they are both single, very attractive for their age (thin, nice faces, fit, firm asses), have no kids to care for, are intelligent and fun to be around, and each worth tens of millions of dollars.
    These women have trouble dating.
    That’s how fucking inexcusably BAD most men are these days. I blame the 1990s, and the era of Bill Clinton. His horndog ways made the leftist media go apeshit in downplaying horndogs. It was the era of the sweatervest, the absolute nadir of American masculinity.
    But consider the problem that these two women face — they are (in their age group) both extremely desirable. They are as horny as a two-dick billy goat, and they drive cars that cost more than my house.
    Their standards are not that high. They’ve both been in the dating market for more than 2 years, and with extremely poor success. They are looking for a man with the ability to take them out to a nice dinner once a week, go on a mini-vacation about 3 times per year, has a functioning dick, no substance abuse problems, a normal height-weight ratio, and doesn’t lie pathologically.
    It’s really not that hard to meet these basic criteria, but apparently it’s pretty rare. Even a guy with a few spinning plates would be acceptable to both of them, since (as we know) that pre-selection actually makes a man more attractive anyway.
    There are, apparently, no men over the age of 40 who fit the bill. Zero. None. These women, who would suck the skin off your dick and then let you take her $300,000 sports car for a spin to the liquor store to re-stock the bar, have zero dating options.
    So, they are turning to online dating.
    I am convinced that it doesn’t take much for a man to be a real stand-out, especially as you get out of your 20s —
    1. Work for yourself, and make an acceptable amount of money. It doesn’t have to be in the millions, and the amount varies from suburbs to the cities, but basically make enough to own your own place, drive a normal car, and have enough control over your work schedule to be able to take a 3-day weekend once every few months.
    2. Don’t be fat. Get some regular exercise. No excuses here.
    3. Be able to hold a normal, lively conversation. Take voice lessons if you have to. Be at least minimally interesting and socially presentable.
    4. Eliminate the usual deal-breakers, like being a crack addict, an alcoholic, a compulsive gambler, a porn freak, a shut-in or a serial killer.
    Any man who meets these basic criteria can rise to the top 0.001% of the dating market.
    Dating women who are age 22-28, however, is a different story. Shallow bitches are shallow. But still, if you make a decent living, have your own place, pay for your own car, and don’t play video games 6-7 days a week, then you are, again, ahead of 99.9% of guys, most of whom are living at their parents’ home, play games on the Xbox constantly and have no social skills whatsoever.

    1. Men are “inexcusably BAD” because they don’t want to date post-reproductive women? So they have money, but are they going to open their wallet for a man? A rich dude doesn’t let his hot girlfriend drive his car, he buys her one; these rich bitches’ dry snatches probably fuse shut if they have to cover the cost of dinner.

    2. Yeah, I’m calling bullshit on this one too.
      I do agree with the overall general thrust of your argument, that men can rise much higher in the SMP by doing the things you listed. However, you forgot to mention all the rich guys, sons of rich guys, D-list celebs, athletes, DJ’s, club bouncers, musicians, and other assorted D-bags who will always be at the top of the male SMV. These guys will leapfrog ahead of you by their good fortune or genetics, so you will never be in the top .01% without these attributes.
      On to the women: there is always something left out of the story of the rich, pretty woman who cannot find a single man worth of her attention.
      Firstly, there is the question of how they got their money. Most women with that kind of net worth got it in one of four ways:
      1) Assraped ex-husband in divorce court.
      2) Assraped ex-employer in frivolous ‘harassment’ lawsuit.
      3) Inherited the money.
      4) Is such a manjawed, high-T lawyercunt type that she clawed her way to a well-paying corporate gig.
      I would not date a woman who fit any of these 4 descriptions, no matter how many times she would let me drive her stupid car. Being around her would be a headache and a nightmare.
      Women’s money means jack shit because they are far too cheap and greedy to ever spend a cent on a man without expecting a dollar in return at a future date.
      Almost certain that the women you describe have massive personality flaws that you are failing to mention. They are probably high-testosterone bitches.

      1. Look, they’re all bitches.
        As bitches go, these two are above average. My point about their money and cars was sort of a joke, but you’d think that fun, athletic, attractive women who enjoy sports cars would be date-able, by someone, after 2 years (each) of putting the word out through their vast network of other bitches.
        To answer your question, one inherited from her money from her genius inventor father, and the other got it in a divorce (she settled for 1/4 of her ex-husband’s assets to get the divorce finished quickly, because he kept getting arrested for picking up crack whores, and she still ended up with 8 figures).
        So, yes — they’re bitches who do typical female shit to get money.
        My point is not that they are miracle-women. My point is not to try to set up the ROK readership with one of them.
        I’m saying that if any of you out there are over 40, like me, it is unbelievably easy to rise to the top of the male SMP, since the competition (single men with basic social skills, no gut, two nickels to rub together and a lack of major psychological disorders) is virtually non-existent.

      2. You nailed it! And pretty much a man with his affairs in order is NOT going to settle for some over 40 year old woman! Why should he!

      3. “You nailed it! And pretty much a man with his affairs in order is NOT going to settle for some over 40 year old woman! Why should he!”
        Yeah if this dude has all that going on, it’s 33 or younger. Like Patrice O’neal said, the ugliest 19 year old beats the shit out of a fine 44 year old. I’m sure someone will enjoy the pump and dump with them. They had their era. Now it’s my turn.

      4. I’d have to second that emotion about rising to the top if you’re over 40, like me.
        I hear from my women friends about the appalling social skills and shit that men do on dates because they, like the women, think they’re entitled — what with kids, living in their parents’ basement, hitting up the women for bus fare home, etc. Now, you could laugh at this and think it (perversely) “alpha,” but even that shit curls my toes.
        Lastly, trying to make male friends that don’t have issues is a challenge unto itself. Best saved for another time.

    3. It seems these two you described are 45+ years old. I’d never be interested in a woman old enough to be my mom, no mother how much money she has.

    1. Why would you post that here? What the hell has that got to do with this thread?
      Let me guess, you’re a FemNazi trying to plant crap on this site so that you can make a case that the manosphere is just filled with crap?
      Disclaimer: haven’t clicked the link, I’m just making the assumption based on the title.

  5. Well said, comrade.
    I have gone back and forth regarding internet game over the years…and finally have come to the conclusion that can be a very useful supplement to our game, provided we adhere to a few ground rules. I would propose the following:
    1. Internet game should be viewed as a supplement to, and not a substitute for, your in-person approaches and regular game. Think of a fisherman who has a number of lures and lines in the water. It’s a force multiplier more than anything. Just don’t make it your exclusive iron in the fire.
    2. Internet game can be very good for laying the foundation for international bangs. Say you know you’re going to be in country XYZ for a certain period of time. You can use the international dating sites to line up some decent prospects in advance, so that you have some connections “on site” when you land and can hit the ground running.
    3. You need to adhere strictly to internet protocol. Any deviation will blow you out immediately. Remember that the hot chicks are bombarded with emails from betas with pathetic game. The only way you will get noticed is if you minimize your contact with the target. The internet is for SETTING UP IN PERSON DATES, not for having discussions. Get her off the keyboard and out for the date immediately. No long phone calls, no long email chats, period.
    4. You’d better have a kickass profile. The vibe you want to project is happy, fun, I-don’t-really-give -a fuck. That means nothing that even remotely resembles neediness or beta behavior. All your photos need to have you smiling, and involved in activities that make you look like a leader of men, warrior, etc. You should have a couple photos of you with other hot chicks, too.
    5. Internet “openers” need to be playful, funny, low-key statements. Pick something out from her profile and comment on it or ask a question about it.
    6. Target foreign women. If I have to tell you this, you’re already lost….
    Happy hunting. Remember that internet trolling can add much to your game portfolio…as long as you recognize its limitations and work within them. Like it or not, for better or for worse, it is where things are headed more and more.

  6. Internet dating is good if you are looking for A) artsy non-partying introverts or B) recently ended LTR chicks looking for a rebound.
    As stated above, it works good as a supplement especially if you live in an outdoorsy/recreational city with low nightlife (the nightlife scene consists of drinking around camp fires). Coffee shops, bookstores and REI are still your best option though.

    1. REI? What’s the best way to game there, Doc? (Ask for help picking out new bike shorts? lulz)

  7. #5 pic’s fale tits are repulsive, imo.
    But as for women in Asian countries gladly switching to English, in which Asian countries do quality women speak English?

  8. I’ve been constructing a new profile for another stab at this since the last time out. I pulled some decent chicks but I wasn’t yet in a good place in my life where I could convert in person. The hardest thing now is getting some good pictures with women in the frame and doing cool hobbies, etc. I imagine that’s the hardest part for most guys though – guys hate taking pictures of each other.

  9. Unfortunately i am currently a # 2.., could be a lot worse if you consider all the above!!
    Working on outing my huge hours workload, light at the end of the tunnel!

  10. Overall, a funny well written piece. Just my two cents thrown in here:
    QUOTE: “Theoretically, an international player shouldn’t have trouble with online dating; after all, dating sites are plenty popular in just about every country.”
    True, and quite frankly facebok.com is a defacto online dating site. Essentially one has the ability to meet other women without officially looking for a skag, unlike match.com and plebtyoffart.com
    QUOTE: “The brutal truth is that most men who try online dating will have to settle for 6s and below. However, if The Guy Aiming High is also a Brad Pitt lookalike, he may get a little further.”
    To be honest I highly doubt that even a Brad Pitt look alike is going to do any better. The hot chicks out there do not need to use dating sites to get attention. The hotties are in the real world at night clubs trying to score as much free cocaine and drinks or deciding which rich and horny chump she is going to dupe into taking her on a trip around the world. Any genuinely super good loking female with an online dating account is only doing so for the validation he gets every time some nerd emails PM’s her with some pathtic message like “OMG GURL….UR LIKE…. SO HAWT!”

  11. Last time I saw that ape pic on Arthur C. Clarke’s Mysterious World. Anyone remember that show?

  12. As Roissy said: If she were hot would she be on internet dating? Maybe the standard’s better in the states but in the uk it’s a post-wall dating resource

  13. I’m definitely sweatshop worker guy. Although I’m keeping my tastes inexpensive so I can hopefully retire early and be do-whatever-I-want guy.

  14. “The international player is what most of this blog’s readers are”
    that is clearly the funniest shit i saw on the net in days. thanks for that.
    face it, guys, the majority of the readers are lonely, D&D playing sasquatches with inferiorty complex stuck up their tight, narrow-minded arse, who wouldn’t know what to do with a pussy when it sits on their faces and screams to fuck her.
    well documented sideeffects include: being scared out of their little, hillbilly minds when faced with independent women, who seek their own careers and success, and huddle up on websites like this one looking for solace from other sasquatches.
    international player my ass. if you are a real player (let alone an ‘international player’), you really shouldn’t rely on crap like this place here. if you do, you are a sad excuse for a ‘player’ and you should be pitied and get the fuck out of the way.

    1. “Arse”? Are you one of those women who fucks guys who have “cool” British accents and for no other supposed “merit” whatsoever besides that?

  15. I recently put up a profile, just due to the fact my life is consumed with work, the gym and working on a side business. Fucking needed to break the cold streak (7 weeks).
    I think online is starting to become a lot more legit, there’s definitely some talent out there in my country, although I will be putting my profile on hold soon (still fell kinda dirty going down that rabbit warren lol).
    If you’re in shape, have a couple of nice head shots and action shots and most importantly have a decent and funny profile (sell the dream a little too), you’ll kill. My inbox is fucking overflowing, bedded my first within 4 days and have 2 in the pipeline.
    What I dislike is though I have set parameters in my profile outlining age, height, weight etc some fucking haggard cougar or fattie always tries it on. I’m actually looking forward to putting the profile on hold and get back to my usual outlet of day game on my lunch break.
    Also hat tip to the roosh forum for ‘how to spot a secret internet fattie’. For those who’ve never gamed online I would suggest looking into it.

  16. International player here. I am from Toronto Canada but over the last 10 years I have lived 3 months in riviere du loup (rural Quebec, 3 months in Burkina Faso (West Africa), 4 years in Montreal, 2 and a half years in Kyoto, one year in Osaka and almost a dyear in Tokyo. I now currently live in Guangzhou China.
    I love night game and day game, but now and then online really help out. It can be a great slump buster and good when you are new in town.

  17. get the fuck outta here. There is a whole bag of losers you forgot to mention. So your saying females have a great pick of men? the over worker, brad pitt and guy aiming high? U cant accurately write this because you have never been a female dating these ugly, broke, stinky, lying ass dudes

Comments are closed.