The Anguish Of The Manosphere

There is a lot of anguish in the manosphere.  Anguish over the masculinization of women, anguish over the general unsuitability of American women as long term dating or marriage prospects, and anguish over the crisis of manhood today.  And over many other things.  With good reason, too.  It is eminently justified.  Discussing and venting about these topics is a way we have of working out our problems, of coming to grips with the predicament that the contemporary westernized man finds himself in.  Those who attempt to deny these issues, or to avoid them, are simply unwilling to confront the darkness that haunts the modern societal landscape.

When I read Law Dogger’s Why America Causes Men To Be Unnatural last week, it touched a nerve.  I was reminded of Roosh’s Why Can’t I Leave A Smiley Face?, which I reviewed here.  It struck a chord with me because it matched my experiences so precisely, and reopened old wounds that I have been trying to suture for many years.  Those who have lived abroad for extended periods of time will be able to relate to the sentiments expressed in these writings I’ve just mentioned.

When I returned to the US after an extended period of living overseas in the 1990s, I went through a major depression.  The full impact of the situation I was in gradually emerged.  The corrosive influence of American culture on female behavior here was the one problem I just could not solve.   It was totally beyond my control.  For someone who was used to being action-oriented, it was a crippling realization.  I felt alienated and betrayed.  And no one could understand.

But suffering can have redemptive power if one knows how to channel the pain.  After continuing to travel and study, I began to see things in a different light.  I made efforts to construct my life around my travels and studies, and felt I had made some progress is coming to terms with the problem.  Slowly, I began to feel a new worldview take shape.  If I could not change the environment, maybe I could change myself.

The premise of Law Dogger’s article is that the perversity of American culture encourages women to adopt unfeminine behavior, thereby making men behave in unnatural ways.  And this is entirely correct.  His anguish at having to deal with this mirrors my own anguish at the same realization.  But maybe there is a way to come to terms with the issue.  While we cannot solve it, perhaps we can find a way to suture our own festering wounds, to salve our own burns, to alleviate the sting of this painful knowledge with the blessings of consolation and guidance.  Great men of the past have been through similar trials at certain periods of history characterized by social upheaval and realignment.

It is not good to say that women (or some environment) “make” you behave unnaturally.  No one can “make” you do anything.  Thinking in this way empowers the other person, and makes you feel helpless.  And you are not helpless:  no one can do anything to you that you do not permit them to do.  Your masculinity is not conditioned on the approval of American women.  Your happiness and peace of mind is not dependent on their behavior.  When you see a woman behaving in an arrogant, masculine manner, think instead of this teaching anecdote by the Roman fabulist Phaedrus (IV.15):

By the grace of Jupiter, the she-goats were able to obtain beards, like the male goats.  At this, the he-goats were full of indignation, afraid that the females would rival them in prestige and dignity.  “Suffer them,” said the God, “and let them enjoy their empty honors and badges of your rank.  It is meaningless as long as they do not equal you in masculine virtue.”

Let women have their little “goats’ beards.”  Let them play their little games, and strut around with their false airs of authority.  As long as they do not equal you in masculine virtue, it is an empty charade.  You rise about them, you walk through them; they do not affect you.  As long as we remain centered in our masculine core, the unnatural behavior of women (or anyone else) should not be our concern.

Our purpose is to seek a philosophy of life, a way of thinking, that will enable us to be lit by an inner light.  A light that will guide us in this hostile modern environment.  A philosophy that will enable us to draw sustenance and strength from ourselves, rather than seek the approval of others.  Nothing less than the deepest spiritual revelation will enable us to deal with the problems that are facing us as men today.

We travelers have spent a great deal of energy and effort to travel abroad.  We travel here, and we travel there.  And it is right that we should do so.  “Seek knowledge,” (says a tradition of the Prophet) “even though it may be in China.”  But what about the inner journey, the journey of the Soul?  This is a profounder type of travel, one that will enable us to advance to ever-higher levels of consciousness, until we begin to approach true illumination.  These are the journeys of the great mystics and poets of the past.  The way of the mystic provides some guidance.  Let us consider a few of them.


The mystic poet Farid ad-Din Attar (c. 1145-1220) in his great work Discourse of the Birds, believed that a sincere seeker could undertake a spiritual journey through six “valleys” or levels:  Searching, Love, Knowledge, Detachment (from personal desires), Union (where he sees that all things are one), and Astonishment (losing sense of individual existence).  Eventually, with persistence, he might be able to achieve the ultimate stage, Annihilation (of the self in the Divine).  By going through these stages, Attar held, a seeker could become a “Perfect Man” (al insan al kamil) who had the power of direct communion with the Divine.  No soul is fully happy, says the pantheistic Attar, until it loses itself in this World Soul which emanates from the Divine.  The only real religion was the search for such a union.  Although Attar was severely attacked for his heretical ideas, he confounded his critics by living a long and happy life.

Happier still was Saadi of Shiraz (c. 1184-1283), perhaps Persia’s most beloved poet.  For nearly thirty years he traveled all over the Near East and North Africa, experiencing all degrees of deprivation and poverty.  He once complained that his shoes were in tatters, until he met a man without feet, and then “thanked Providence for the bounty.”  He fought in the Crusades, was captured by the Franks, released on ransom, and fell into a new kind of slavery after marrying the daughter of his ransomer.  Eventually ridding himself of this servitude, he retired at age fifty to a small house in Shiraz, where he wrote poetry extolling the virtues of a simple life, animated by the sensual pleasures of physical love.  He never lost hope, never abandoned himself to despair, and willed himself to live nearly a hundred years by his healthy philosophy and outlook on life.

The Sufi mystics were always careful to teach that the things of this world were illusory and fickle.  To pursue them too rashly was to subject ourselves to inner torment and turbulence.  Ibn Arabi (c. 1165-1240) brought this idea to its fullest and most elaborate expression in his many esoteric volumes of prose and poetry.  As a mystic writer, he is unsurpassed in fecundity and abstruseness; one could spend two lifetimes studying his doctrines.  What the great mystics all had in common was:  a wide experience of travel, constant writing, a belief in their own inner light, spiritual exercises to achieve a level of enlightenment, a sense of humor, and a healthy enjoyment of worldly pleasure tempered with a knowledge that all such things were fleeting.  We would do well to learn from them.

While we can never change the people around us, we can try to change ourselves.  Instead of looking outside, we need to look inside.  The answer to our anguish lies in this:  seek the inner light that is within you, that part of the Divine Essence each of us carries.  We each contain a cosmos within ourselves, if only we can tap into it.  Travel, read widely, mix with people, write, and reflect.  Stop frantically running here and there, seeking in vain the approval of others.  It is a futile hope.  No one can “make you act unnaturally.”  You are the Perfect Man, the living image of the Divine Principle.

The poetry of Al-Mutamid (c. 1040-1095), Emir of Seville, is perhaps the last word on the folly of chasing the phantoms of the world.  No translation in English can convey the beauty and sublimity of his speech.  He led a life of combat, fighting at times both Christians and Moslems in Spain, yet never stopped writing verses.  Eventually captured, he was brought in chains to Tangier where he lived until his death.  And yet he never gave up.  One of his last poems expresses unforgettably in a few lines what only long experience and true wisdom can ever hope to know:

Do not woo the world too rashly, for behold,
Beneath the painted silk and broidering,
It is a faithless and inconstant thing.
Listen to me, Mutamid, growing old.
And we—that dreamed youth’s blade would never rust,
Who wished wells from the mirage, roses from the sand—
Shall understand the riddle of the world,
And put on wisdom with the robe of dust.[1]

[1] Adapted from Mark Van Doren’s An Anthology of World Poetry

Read More:  Each Day Is A Little Life

110 thoughts on “The Anguish Of The Manosphere”

  1. I await the neckbeards who are going proclaim this type of philosophy as classic nietzschean slave morality

    1. Always await the neckbeards. And prepare to meet them with the derisive laughter of the fully formed man — a man whose armor of confidence and self-knowledge resists all slings and arrows.

  2. A pity we let it get to us, especially in our formative years. We see athletic, talented, and sometimes dangerous teenage behaviour get rewarded time and time again but don’t put two and two together. Instead, we try to be “good boys” so that Santa, apparently, will drop a pretty young pussy in our laps. And society tells us they expect it. What’s worse is those who get it, but aren’t naturals at the talents of the popular boys, are the ones the system chokes down on the hardest. The lesson is taught as harshly as possible in the educational systems that deviance from feminist expectations will be punished, but rewarded if you’re truly a deviant.

  3. I haven’t finished reading this post yet, but I had to stop and comment. This really is a great post. Whenever I find gems like this, or pebbles, crumbs and clues of men that think like you, I feel so light, like my feet aren’t even on the ground. No homo.

    1. Two years ago I met a Russian in the sauna that was talking to everyone about religion. He had no shame and would talk to anyone that would listen, but no one took him seriously. He said that the real God isn’t in the clouds, but lives inside of us – that was the only way we could reach him, by going inwards. I believed him because of some of my own personal experiences, and so we ended up speaking for a few hours – far longer than I had intended to stay in there. Because of my experiences, I was aware of what he must’ve had to go through in the initial phases to be aware of what he was saying, though my experiences at the time didn’t allow me to understand everything he said at the time. Similar to what you said above: “annihilation (of the self in the divine)”, he suggested to me that it was inevitable that I would become like a god. Needless to say I was uncomfortable with this assertion and tried to discourage him from continuing (my Christian background kicking in), but he said it with the utmost confidence.

      1. God is not within but without. He is the groundswell of existence. He is the great mystery. That all cultures around the world seemed to know.

        1. From where are you getting this idea that god is gendered and “set apart”? Its contradictory in that it is anthropomorphic yet somehow not at the same time. What to speak of asserting that god can be omniscient without being present everywhere. Which philosophy or religion teaches this or is this your own conception?

  4. Is there any more doubt that Quintus is the best writer on this site? And I say that with utmost sincerity.
    I’ve felt this pain. When I was younger I couldn’t stand the idiocy of my peers (and still can’t), and I withdrew from the world for the most part, with feelings of superiority. But it also made me feel left behind in a way, or in some way strange. I struggled with this and still do. Lack of motivation was pervasive. I just didn’t want to do a damn thing, and then paradoxically I felt bad about myself for not doing so.
    But you can’t change others. It is useless to try. Balance withdrawal with a kingly presence. The best thing I learned through the years is that you must enjoy your own company, first and foremost. Take your crown and above all, do not negotiate your dignity. My upcoming article will tie into this.
    Thanks for this post. Gave me a fresh perspective. I’ll be coming back to this a lot when feelings of doubt creep in.

    1. Secure in mind and self, and unapologetic confidence in your thoughts and actions above all else is an important quality indeed, but remember that humans are social creatures. Being a complete misanthrope and social nihilist is not conducive to a full and valuable life. This is what makes communities like this worth their weight in gold: a gathering of well-spoken and like-minded individuals – with the virtue of solidarity.
      Throughout my young adult life, I have always had an air of “holier than thou” mentality. I have alway had a strong, bold, and stubborn head on my shoulders with logic and reasoning as my weapons. Over time I have learned that holding disdain for others for their ignorance has not really made me any better off. I find it better to remain worldly and reserve myself when it’s appropriate. Even when you speak to someone simpler, less experienced, more/less closeminded, or less educated than yourself, there is value and something to be learned.
      Learn to admire and appreciate something out of all your social exchanges.

        1. its all fine and good, but at the end of the day the nazis and the communists had their go with their little goat beards and it lasted decades and destroyed many many happy, tranquil lives…. sitting there like the buddha and seeking inner peace and enlightenment is a foolish, egoistical and selfish endeavor when what you really want is a decent forward thinking community around you….

      1. In essence, ‘Don’t Give a Fuck’.
        It’s that just most things in life are so inconsequential that they are laughable but because of our primal monkey brain programming we have to place importance on something. It’s maladaptation, a symptom of having the biologically cushy lifestyle that modern technology allows us.
        We don’t live in small tribes anymore. We don’t have to care about what idiots think. Exile isn’t going to happen if you don’t appease them and also no gain is to be had in winning battles with low value dumbfucks. Just laugh it and shrug. It’s more damaging than a billion quips.
        Everything is basically a joke. All you have to do is see that it is and that in this environment you aren’t a slave to imaginary threats. You can act like an alpha because we have a nanny state where everybody is afraid to punch another guy whereas in the past your head would be slammed repeatedly in the ground. You have safety nets of plenty of food and decent housing along with electronics at little cost if your a savvy guy so taking risks is extremely diminished if you forgo dumbass social shame.
        This is certainly the era of ‘Don’t Give a Fuck’. A sign of crumbling society where it’s becoming everybody for himself. Yup but that’s the pretty much the smart play right now.

    2. a hearty “THANK YOU!” to Roosh for creating an online platform for several truly impressive writers and thinkers, most notably Quintus.

    3. I relate to this well – especially the lack of motivation. As long as you think that there are people you deem superior, there is a sense of being able to reach them. One only had to be good enough to be worthy of them and then belong.
      When in the past I began a challange, it was out of curiosity. But to end one, to complete a goal was usually out of impressing others, out of not losing face to the ones I admired.
      That motivation is largely gone, largely because of a change in my world-view. I see people in a much less favourable light today.
      I’ve been a humanist – in the sense that I believed in mankind as some form of team or family, which I don’t any longer.
      Some people get going because they believe in God or their country. I can’t either.
      Then there is family, I could have children. Is there something else?

    4. Writers, poets, scholars, and intellectuals have all suffered at the hands of aggressive bitches. Women will find a caring, loving, and sensitive guy and just shit inside his heart. Going on spiritual journeys, and doing self improvement is a better way to spend time then having your ass kicked by ball busting bitches.
      Any guy that wants to get laid can’t be concerned with a woman’s heart and soul or any of that other nonsense. Women are there to help you relieve yourself. Roosh wrote a book called “Bang”; In it, he describes the three date rule. He’s right. Bang her first, then see her as a human being if you really want to.
      Women need to know that you are moving through them. If she isn’t going to help you release, then you are the type of guy that can easily get someone that is. Make sure she knows it, and when she does, enjoy her reaction.

      1. “Going on spiritual journeys, and doing self improvement is a better
        way to spend time then having your ass kicked by ball busting bitches. … Women are there to help
        you relieve yourself.”
        Monks, sages, yogis and mystics the world over relieve themselves through masturbation. They don’t need women even for that.
        This reliance on self for everything is available to you as well.
        Go in peace, my brother.

        1. Any man who’s lived past puberty has got that one figured out. Thanks for your sage ‘advice,’ sis.

    5. “I’ve felt this pain. When I was younger I couldn’t stand the idiocy of
      my peers (and still can’t), and I withdrew from the world for the most
      part, with feelings of superiority. But it also made me feel left behind
      in a way, or in some way strange. I struggled with this and still do.
      Lack of motivation was pervasive. I just didn’t want to do a damn thing,
      and then paradoxically I felt/feel bad about myself for not doing so.”
      Writing is a good route for someone like you. Have you ever considered writing a book? That way you can be alone, communicate your *superior* views, and feel like you’re doing something or contributing all at the same time.

  5. Wow Amazing. I loved this article. I never comment but this one in specific was beautifully written

  6. 1) Read ‘Fight Club’
    2) Live your life as Tyler Durden did.
    3) Minus the bombs and the castration of your enemies.
    Because women are natural followers so be man enough to lead and all will be well.

    1. “Because women are natural followers so be man enough to lead and all will be well.”
      Yes, be a manly leader enough to live your life like a mainstream Hollywood block buster.
      That’s “red pill” for ya!

  7. Generally we waste our lives, distracted from our true selves, in endless activity. Meditation is one of the ways to bring us back to ourselves, where we can really experience and taste our full being.

    1. Speaking of meditation, it would seem that the Stoic exercises in meditation give one the intellectual and emotional strength to navigate the roiling zeitgeist. It is western-originated philosophy that compares superlatively with the sources listed by Quintus. RoK readers and writers ought to explore Stoicism more deeply, wherein they might discover lies the bedrock of a manly life.

  8. Quintus this is rare in life, that a man might discover a profession he both enjoys and is good at. Please pursue your talents bro, do it for me, whatever you do, don’t become an accountant like yours truly.

  9. This is slightly off topic but this site has come to the attention of Bidisha Poppadom who is probably the UK’s most vile feminazi.
    She makes Andrea Dworkin seem like Carl Sagan and she loathes this site and all it represents.
    If any of you are interested in having a laugh she tends to overshare the details of her life here;

  10. You’ve raised the bloggy bar. I thought I was alone, at least in the Angosphere parts of blogville, in my admiration for 10th to 12th century Persian poets. I aquired the taste from my Iranian wife who assures me that English translations both lose and gain on the originals. If they actually taught classics instead of watered down leftist/feminist/newage twaddle in liberal arts these days many of these writers would be judged on par with Chaucer and Beowolf.

        1. Agreed. You can never say that unless you’ve read it all, and few – if any – have

        2. Their contemplation is less expansive. They observed the same dualities in the world but devised no means to transcend them. What to actually DO about those dualities is the domain of Eastern philosophers.

        3. M, I respectfully beg to differ.
          In the West, there´s the hermetic tradition in the form of traditional astrology, ritual magic and practical laboratory alchemy.
          These sciences can be practiced independently or in conjunction with Eastern methods of meditation and devotion.

        4. Yes but they are not mainstream and its not what the West or Western philosophy is known for. Plus, astrology, magic and alchemy are not practical tools for one’s own self realization. They are fluff and woo woo, often used as a means to control others or to bend the universe to one’s will. Completely different from acceptance of The Way and becoming The Way.

  11. Excellent article. I’m currently traveling by myself, always an excellent time to be reflective and introspective.
    These types of reflections and ideas are the domain of men. We’re fortunate to live in a time where technology (developed by men!) allows us to come together and exchanges these philosophies.
    Good luck trying to have this kind of discussion on a feminist website…

  12. Often, we here in the red-pill world spend so much time on petty internecine squabbling and baiting our naysayers across the ideological pond, that I believe we lose sight of the true purpose of the manosphere — and ultimately, we stand to dull its potential. Conflict may indeed rouse men to their feet but it’s inspiration that gets them moving forward.
    Quintus’ words got me moving forward this morning.
    To my mind, what separates those of us in the manosphere from our blue-pilled brethren is neither notch counts nor the time we spend chest-thumping over who among us is more “alpha.” It’s our introspectiveness that sets us apart — our willingness to fall back from the pack and question anything we see or do along a given path. We’re unafraid to risk feelings of loneliness or ostracism or even occasional uncertainty because we know that it’s only under such conditions that a genuine sense of individuality can be forged.
    Regular men live or die by the acceptance of others — and what the pack giveth, the pack easily taketh away. Red-pill men, however, subsist on hard-won self-acceptance — something that doesn’t rise or fall based on the number of hangers-on or fairweather friends one has, something that no one can ever truly take away from you.
    This is a fine inspirational piece of writing and — if I may inject a further bit of bias here — exactly the sort of thing that RoK should make its cornerstone. I agree completely with Libertas that Quintus is the finest writer under the RoK banner and I can’t think of a single way that a piece like this wouldn’t benefit men at all levels of red-pill acceptance.

    1. It’s pieces such as this that gives me hope for the future. The community here is engaging and thought provoking. Even if some pieces are disagreeable, or downright controversial, Quintus’ live experiences are ones that all of us can learn from. These intellectual inquiries have made me enjoy this site.

  13. Great article. I follow a couple of blogs like this. The links you offer are also pretty useful. Philosophy is not our strong point it seems.
    on that topic, I happened upon another blog recently where sometimes I can see the content and sometimes it is password protected, the only clues I’ve got is the answer is 2 words both Capitalized and something to do with truth has anyone here managed to break the code?
    I’ve read it in the past and It really helps me, please let me know if someone does know the answer or can figure it out.

    1. Dude, seriously? Took me 10s to figure it out. Hint: source code, search for “password”. BOOM! You’re looking for The Truth and it’s right under your nose.

      1. Dam! I feel like a breh ;P
        oh well i don’t know much about code tho
        Thanks Brah! repped!

  14. Screw the ‘anguish’ of the Manosphere.
    Let me tell you brethren the worst day a red pill man has is better than the best day a pussy blue pill mangina can ever manage.
    Even if we fail we do so while striving for great things.
    Piss on anguish. Happy Christmas everyone.

      1. yeah, live free or die trying…. fuck christmas… a miserable orgy of entitlement and consumerism for the animal masses…….. there’s no such thing as a happy christmas unless of course you don’t celebrate it at all….

  15. You know you’re reading a good article when you can’t actually fast read it but have to focus instead.
    English not being my native language i’m not sure i understood fully everything said here, especially in the poem but i definitely got the gist of the article. A great read.

  16. Intense, thoughtful, in depth, and well written.
    Thanks for this Quintus, it truly shows we should focus and work on our inner game and not worry about the others in the world. We can only control ourselves, not this world, and not others.

  17. “no one can do anything to you that you do not permit them to do.”
    Oh yes they can. When they have the full powers of the State behind them, they can do plenty to make you miserable.
    And that includes putting your life through the wringer for being too manly.

    1. I was referring to something a bit different, which is that we often subconsciously (through low-self esteem) bring bad things on ourselves by not standing up for ourselves.
      Low self-esteem makes us believe we don’t deserve the best. Low self-esteem makes us believe we don’t deserve a good woman, a good job, a happy life.
      The culture here wants you to feel broken, beaten, and kept down. We refuse to accept this.
      And we refuse to live in fear of what someone might or might not do.
      Don’t fill your mind, Venom Froggy, with these negative and fearful thoughts. By doing this, you help to make them a reality. You help create your own reality.
      “In the eyes of a Buddha, everything is Buddha-like; but in the eyes of a pig, everything is piggish.”
      This is an old Korean saying I learned in Korea back in 1996.

    2. So much talk about “the State”. The State is composed of people also. Elected and non-elected officials. If you dislike the management of a country so much, put yourself up for office, or work for somebody that could do that.
      What do you say? That you would never get elected? One (adult) person, one vote buddy. Follow Churchill on this one (an Alpha if there is one).

  18. Sadly, Quintus Curtius,the vast majority of men are not interested in their own personal self development. I see this as very strange since I have been intensely interested in “being the best that I can be” all my life.
    I have had a life that not 1 in 10,000 men get to have. Indeed most people, when they read my resume or hear what I have done outright dis-believe it. When I say I have worked for more than 200 companies in 20 countries they don’t believe me.
    When I say I told a family court judge that if he unlawfully incarcerated me I would kill him they don’t believe me. Some men have even called the court meeting I video recorded a “fake”! LOL!
    They don’t believe the letters I have sent to so many thousands of politicians.
    Hell, when my fav#1 read the letter my ex wrote begging me to take her back she said herself waving the letter in the air “men like this do not exist”.
    I have had my very existence denied many times over by men and women alike. It is all rather amusing to me. The reason these people must deny my existence is because when they compare themselves to me they can not imagine ever doing what I had done. I mean I have been taking on the guvmints of Ireland and Australia for 5.5 years and am now also engaged in discussions with the guvmints of the UK and Germany.
    Endlessly I hear “what makes you think you can create a whole new second economy?” “what makes you think you can solve the issues of criminals in guvmint?”
    Well? If not me? Who? Why would there be any other man in the world more capable than me? And if there was? Where is he? And then you get the normal shaming language from men “you are arrogant”. “Arrogant” is the shaming language cowardly men use toward men who are prepared to put their lives on the line for the benefit of the children of their lands.
    If you think women use a lot of shaming language? You have not been listening to what men say.
    So yeah. There are very, very few men I know who are actually willing to improve themselves. And it shows in their characters, words and deeds.

      1. Thanks Quintus.
        There is not much to be done with men who refuse to improve themselves in mind, spirit and body.
        I recently met a young man 26. He found my work via the web. He is very well informed for a man 26, He was just going through a divorce and I handled his divorce for him.
        When he contacted me I gave him a bit of a hard time and he passed with flying colours. Now he says he simply can not believe how much he has already learned from me. And I am happy to teach him what I knew.
        At first he felt that he had somehow failed in his marriage since he was only married 2 years. I explained to him that even though he married a foreign woman he brought her to Australia and that she had been poisoned by doing that…it was not his fault, she drank the Kool-aid. I then explained to him what women are really like. He was disappointed but he is lucky to come to terms with this at 16. Much easier to accept then than later.
        His little brother also then found my work on the web and recognised my face from his older brothers screen one time. So he is now also going to become my client.
        So, with luck and a fair wind, I will be an advisor to these young lads for many years to come. Already the 26 year old is telling me that he is feeling that he is growing very rapidly in mind and spirit from the conversations we have. There is much he does not know and he is a bit like a sponge in that he asks a lot of questions. He also puts to me things he believes to be true and asks my opinion about them.
        I know a few men who could mentor young men very well in many areas….Bill Greathouse being one of the most stellar men I know. But the lads are not ready to listen yet…..Perhaps they will listen sooner or later…that is why I created “Nite Skool”.
        I have been running Nite-Skools in my professional life for a long time. The younger men like to come along and ask questions related to my profession. They learn a lot in these sorts of sessions.

    1. Men have been told that we are wrong for improving themselves (the reasons why you’d be “wrong” depend on who and what you are). Men have been been told that we cannot improve ourselves because. In some cases, due to genetics or other factors, men have discovered that we cannot improve ourselves or that we are hitting a plateau.
      It is for these reasons, I believe, that many men decide to just give up and let themselves go in today’s world.

      1. “Men have been told that we are wrong for improving themselves ”
        Usually by other men GAG. This is one of the most insidious aspects of “equality”. If we are “equal” then there is no need to seek self improvement, right?
        I have always known I was “not like the other kids”. I have always known I was “different”. And I have always known that I could get “better” whatever that “better” might be.
        Younger men have no inherent desire to be “better”. They have accepted their role of being downtrodden serfs to a great extent. It is only the few who are going to fight back and only the few who dare who will win the spoils.

        1. There is a real lack of “help each other out” any more in the west.
          I have been at the leading edge of my business for 20 years. Other men taught me what they knew like Bill Inmon and Ralph Kimball among many. So I made sure I bought their books and referenced them and promoted them when I was selling their ideas for my benefit.
          Because I have been a “thought leader” all these years I have trained many MEN along the way. They have very often gone on to great jobs. Many of the men I trained doubled their income inside 2 years. That is no exaggeration. In Australia in the late 90s “I was trained by Peter Nolan” was worth real money.
          In one of the best examples a young lad I trained in Romania went on to a great job at IBM in London. He is one of the top people in IBM in what I trained him in now.
          And yet now I ask many of these men for help they do not want to help me. This is despite the fact that in many cases they earned tens of thousands or even hundreds of thousands of dollars from my willingness to put in extra time and effort to train them.
          The people who are MOST helpful when I ask are men who live in eastern europe including Germany. Men in the west? Nope. Very few of them are being helpful. Some are, sure, but not enough.
          I have always had the ethos “help those less able to help themselves”. We all need some help along the way at some points in our lives. But western men will not help each other. They would rather kick their brother to the curb to maintain an advantage…what you are pointing out. Then they wonder why it is when they need help no one is willing to help them. Pretty sad all round if you ask me.

    2. I’m quite lefty, and disagree with a fair bit I gear on here, but I what I think what all the dumb knee-jerk people miss when they read this site is that the authors and regular commentators are ultimately focused on making themselves better. It’s hard, honorable, and should be commended.

    3. And yet people complain about elites and wealthy people.
      They hold themselves back with this “who do you think you are”-mindset (see “Jante’s law”), yet wonder why they are miserable, average fucks.

    4. Amazing. All of these accomplishments yet you still have time to spend hours everyday spewing your autobiography all over the comments section of a blog.

      1. Young men learn best from presenting the experience of others. At least that is how the few who wish to learn learn best.
        Young men like you were well advised to show older men like me the respect we have earned. It is exactly that I have face thousands of snarky little girl comments like this from young men WITHOUT other young men stepping in and disciplining such young men that I am no longer willing to contribute to young men for free as much as I once was.
        Congratulations. You young men taught a man of my great concern for you that you are not interested in learning from me. And in doing so you demonstrated to other great men like Bill Greathouse that you are no longer worthy of his efforts.
        When you convince great men that you do not wish to listen to them? Don’t be surprised when they stop advising you for free. And it is you young men who are the biggest losers when you do not listen to those of us with the life experience and knowledge that could transform the quality of your life if you just listened.

  19. Great article. I would love to see more articles suggesting solutions to the problem with local women, beyond going oversees for an extended period of time, which is not feasable for many. Bitching and complaining, as true and as entertaining as it might be, won’t change the bottom line.

    1. I recommend researching and engaging with all the major Eastern philosophies and taking up an Eastern meditation practice.

  20. Superb. Solzhenitsyn’s “Gulag Archipelago” has provided me with much solace. There was a man crushed by the full weight of the Soviet Union, but he never gave up hope. They could break his body but they could never crush his spirit.
    The world is the way it is. We can’t change the world if we can’t change ourselves first. If you’re mentally and spiritually tough, then no one can break you. We may not live to see it, but I firmly believe that misandric liberalism is as doomed to fail as communism was. In the mean time, don’t let the bastards get you down and fight back with whatever talents God gave you.

  21. I’m not discounting the search for wisdom, but this piece strikes me as very Islamophilic. We ought to be transparent to the ethos of the opinions in question. Comes off very Buddhist too. Islam is the religion of peace only after total submission,, which is its literal meaning. Pain is sometimes a call to action, even if one must be patient and bear it. Al-Mutamid never gave up, but so what? I hate to quote Charlie Sheen as a philosopher, but: “Duh?! Winning!”
    “While we can never change the people around us, we can try to change ourselves.”
    On the contrary, evolution is the only thing that creates change, and we CAN change the people around us. Not being able to change individuals individually does not stop evolution, or those who live in harmony with nature. I speak of Dark Enlightenment. This piece, though well done for what it does, does not. Full knowledge if for masculinity because masculinity seeks independence. Pretty lies or omissions are for femininity. Skilled husbandry is philosophically at home anywhere.

  22. Thank you for this post Quintus. Articles like this one give us a few moments to pause, to think and reflect, and the bring a sense of civility and decorum back to this great site.

  23. I’m trying to think of a quote regarding mastering oneself to master one’s environment, I think it’s Confucius, but I’ll stick with this;
    “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is
    noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by
    experience, which is the bitterest.”-Confucius.

  24. As it is with Christianity also. Is this death to self. It seems this thread runs in many spiritual movements.
    The death of the ego and self-sufficiency and becoming God-sufficient.

  25. “The corrosive influence of American culture on female behavior here was the one problem I just could not solve. ”
    Its corrosive to men too. And even very young children, practically even American babies are little devils.
    “When I returned to the US after an extended period of living overseas in the 1990s, I went through a major depression.”
    America’s history and culture are depressing. This isn’t a recent thing. It goes back to the beginning.
    I recommend engaging with Eastern philosophy and meditative practices. It helps.

  26. Eastern philosophy and spiritualism (and it’s historical counterparts and modern equivalents) are very powerful. Committing to even 15 mins a day of meditation techniques from some dude off Google will genuinely and powerfully increase your ability to retain self and express selflessness. As always, I question the idea of unnatural men and women. There have always been butch woman and feminine men. No society or gender role can be unnatural, since it is the expression of natural human animals. A nuclear bomb is not unnatural – it is a an advanced tool created by natural animals – essentially no different from apes using sticks to catch ants in the sense it is animals using nature for their own ends. I appreciate this is a site for masculine men, but significant minorities of feminine men throughout history cannot be written off as unnatural: how can a natural animal act in an unnatural way? Every thing a human being does is natural, precisely because he is a natural phenomenon.

  27. Bonsoir,
    I live in the US, was born in France, and my parents are arabic ( I do enjoy the Persian culture as well).
    My friend,the women here…what brought them like this?
    I have been reading ROK for a little while.
    I have to say, your article is probably the best I read so far, very thoughtful, and well written.
    And no new age bullshit, which is refreshing considering the influence of that movement on the western culture.
    The writers, poets and philosophers you quote shows that you have studied a lot.
    In times of trouble, we men need the wisdom from the ancients who walked the path before us.
    You might have seen one of Al Mutanabi poem turned into a very short video:

    When the lion bares his teeth, do not fancy that the lion shows to you a smile.
    I have slain the man that sought my heart’s blood many a time.
    Riding a noble mare whose back none else may climb.
    Whose hind and fore-legs seem in galloping as one.
    Nor hand nor foot requireth she to urge her on.
    And O the days when I have swung my fine-edged glaive.
    Amidst a sea of death where wave was dashed on wave!
    The desert knows me well, the night, the mounted men,
    The battle and the sword, the paper and the pen.
    Thank you for this.

    1. يا أخي،
      شكرا جزيلا على كلماتك الرقيقة. لقد تم مستوحاة من كلمات الصوفيون لفترة طويلة. أنه لمن دواعي سروري أن أتحدث عن هذه الأمور.
      إذا كنت تستطيع قراءة بعض من شعر ابن عربي، من شأنه أن يكون لكم عن دهشتها. يمكنك شراء كتابه “ديوان” بسهولة جدا.
      الاستمرار في قراءة، والاستمرار في السفر.

    2. Of course, Al Mutannabi is one of the greats. My favorite line of his is:
      “I am known to the horse-troop, the night, and the desert’s expanse;
      Not more to paper and pen than to sword and the lance.”

  28. My dear Quintus, your heart and soul shine brightly here. You took me on a deep journey with this. My return to CA from 2 months in Poland this summer left me unexpectedly depressed (I’ve come to realize). I had to remind myself and feel again the inner light which is unchanging and ever luminuous. Accepting even of what “I” may not like.
    What we bring to life in our mind’s eye, our heart of heart, feel deeply and passionately has NO CHOICE but to manifest in physical reality. So we must all guard our thoughts and only feed the more nourishing ones. Not a numb Pollanna-ism, but an in-tune-ness with both being and becoming. Renewing the philosophy of my life is what has brought the smile back, to create the works I am meant to. To write, to play, sing, dance, hike, move, cause trouble, flirt, meditate, reflect. To be the man that I can be – that we can all embrace our nature as men and BREATHE deeply into our power! To sound our barbaric YAWP. And…
    And… to also feel the infinite peace always here, infusing, coexisting, beyond words’ capacity to tell, only to point like a blissfully frustrated mute tour guide.. “look here, what you seek is inside you…!”
    Whoever you are, I fear you are walking the walks of dreams,
    I fear these supposed realities are to melt from under your feet and hands;
    Even now, your features, joys, speech, house, trade, manners,
    troubles, follies, costume, crimes, dissipate away from you,
    Your true Soul and Body appear before me,
    They stand forth out of affairs–out of commerce, shops, law,
    science, work, forms, clothes, the house, medicine, print,
    buying, selling, eating, drinking, suffering, dying.
    Whoever you are, now I place my hand upon you, that you be my poem;
    I whisper with my lips close to your ear,
    I have loved many women and men, but I love none better than you.
    O I have been dilatory and dumb;
    I should have made my way straight to you long ago;
    I should have blabb’d nothing but you, I should have chanted nothing but you.
    I will leave all, and come and make the hymns of you;
    None have understood you, but I understand you;
    None have done justice to you–you have not done justice to yourself;
    None but have found you imperfect–I only find no imperfection in you;
    None but would subordinate you–I only am he who will never consent
    to subordinate you;
    I only am he who places over you no master, owner, better, God,
    beyond what waits intrinsically in yourself.
    Painters have painted their swarming groups, and the centre figure of all;
    From the head of the centre figure spreading a nimbus of gold-color’d light;
    But I paint myriads of heads, but paint no head without its nimbus of gold-color’d light;
    From my hand, from the brain of every man and woman it streams, effulgently flowing forever.
    O I could sing such grandeurs and glories about you!
    You have not known what you are–you have slumber’d upon yourself all
    your life;
    Your eye-lids have been the same as closed most of the time;
    What you have done returns already in mockeries;
    (Your thrift, knowledge, prayers, if they do not return in mockeries,
    what is their return?)
    The mockeries are not you;
    Underneath them, and within them, I see you lurk;
    I pursue you where none else has pursued you;
    Silence, the desk, the flippant expression, the night, the accustom’d
    routine, if these conceal you from others, or from yourself,
    they do not conceal you from me;
    The shaved face, the unsteady eye, the impure complexion, if these
    balk others, they do not balk me,
    The pert apparel, the deform’d attitude, drunkenness, greed, premature death,
    all these I part aside.
    There is no endowment in man or woman that is not tallied in you;
    There is no virtue, no beauty, in man or woman, but as good is in you;
    No pluck, no endurance in others, but as good is in you;
    No pleasure waiting for others, but an equal pleasure waits for you.
    As for me, I give nothing to any one, except I give the like carefully to you;
    I sing the songs of the glory of none, not God, sooner than I sing
    the songs of the glory of you.
    Whoever you are! claim your own at any hazard!
    These shows of the east and west are tame, compared to you;
    These immense meadows–these interminable rivers–you are immense and
    interminable as they;
    These furies, elements, storms, motions of Nature, throes of apparent
    dissolution–you are he or she who is master or mistress over them,
    Master or mistress in your own right over Nature, elements, pain, passion, dissolution.
    The hopples fall from your ankles–you find an unfailing sufficiency;
    Old or young, male or female, rude, low, rejected by the rest,
    whatever you are promulges itself;
    Through birth, life, death, burial, the means are provided, nothing is scanted;
    Through angers, losses, ambition, ignorance, ennui, what you are picks its way.
    Walt Whitman, ‘To You’

  29. I live in the Hong Kong, and it used to bother me a lot that local girls go for American guys for green cards. But now i think differently… i cant possibly change the fact that America is a prosperous country, nor can i persuade girls from being gold digging whores. I start to look inwards; i started working out, learn a new language, and now although im still in search for a respectable girll, ive fared a lot better. Maybe the americans who came here really have game (though many of them dress badly id have to say). anyhow, its not my business. if they are getting laid, i deserve to get laid too… but only through self improvement. this website has given me so much inspiration and insight.

    1. If they go for a green card they’re not really gold-diggers per se. I think that’s a perfectly decent motivation.

  30. Quintus is undoubtedly my most valued writer on this site. The world of humankind rollicks, toils, and grieves, but there are a few who struggle up the misted mountains, alone, to guard the flame of our soul.

  31. “Travel, read widely, mix with people, write, and reflect. Stop frantically running here and there, seeking in vain the approval of others.”
    Traveling and mixing with people necessitates seeking approval of others because you have to adapt to each culture you travel to in order to be approved enough to mix with the people.

  32. I think this is largely a bullshit philosophy to rely on the internal rather than look at ‘sense’. I wouldn’t rely too heavily on eastern mystics, compared to german and french philosophers they’re at similar levels of ‘enlightenment’ or philosophical development as the ancient Greeks. Too much esoteric bullshit and not enough skepticism.
    And both the analytic and continental philosophers have come along way. What you propose is to ‘overcome’ your depression by simply re-programming the way you view ‘the World’ and its representation. This may be true for you (presently), but it is a piss poor mentality to have in the long run.
    Perfect example is by living in Peru. One could easily put up with Peru, despite it being notorious among South Americans for having some of the least attractive women in the continent, and concentrate on the ‘internal’, the soul, the pursuit for an internal consolidation and re-programming the way you see things. While this is powerful, it is no where near as powerful as simply crossing the border or moving north to places like Colombia where the ‘Reality of the World’ and its sensory experience obliterates any meditative practice or ‘re-programming’ the ugliness of Peruvian women.
    It doesn’t make sense for a grown ass man to entertain the idea of staying in Peru. Once a man has the depth and the experience of the ‘depth’ of reality external to it. It simply doesn’t pay to sit in your American jail cell reading poetry or ancient wisdom when you can’t contemplate the full depth and experience and POETRY of feminine women.
    Books have a certain dimensionality and depth to them which isn’t so easily replaced by ‘real-life’ experiences. Real-Life has a certain depth and dimensionality which isn’t so easily supplemented by books and meditation. I would read books differently because a certain experience in my life has CHANGED me. There is a loop-back self-referential process involved with the INTERNAL and the EXTERNAL. A Struggle.
    For example, let’s say you’ve never been to Russia, and I ask you to ‘imagine’ Russian women. You would be out of depth. You would call upon your experience of watching Hollywood films on Russian women (“To Russia with Love”, some documentary on sex traffic workers and so on).. but ultimately you would have zero depth to what it is ‘truly’ like there, and rather you have internalized some fictions delivered to you via your American TV Set.
    This is why ‘accepting’ your reality via meditation is entirely horseshit in the long run. Philosophy and philosophy of the mind is important. One has existential issues when travelling, after a great fuck, after some huge personal event. But don’t tell me you think it’s a good idea, a long-term strategy of ‘re-programming’ your reality to re-wire it so you don’t experience cognitive dissonance.
    A genius doesn’t accept the Prison. Rather, he plans an escape. He reads law books, he finds holes int he security system, he has a plan to go to Mexico where he can feel the warmth of the sun and the embrace of the ocean breeze.
    Sense deprivation will also have immediate effects on your neurology. Sexual repression usually results in weird brain chemistry. It makes your friends and those around you disloyal. They will be all competing for the small number of feminine women in your American Prison Complex. Every interaction you have with them will be imbalanced by the fact that there is a huge ‘lack’ in the opposite sex. It will make your political system look at women like heavenly creatures who have been victimized. The engineering scholarship you worked so hard for will be more difficult because a female got fast-tracked.
    You can rationalise it all you want, but it doesn’t pay to be in a sausage fest.
    A deep ‘internal’ battle and self-development struggle should be dedicated to getting out of this Prison.
    You can trick yourself into thinking the shemale is actually a female, but ultimately, we are in this reality as Men, competing for a higher experience of the external and internal world. To discover the eternal, the ethereal, the celestial and women are the highest expression of this. To succumb to the banality of anglosaxon women and train your mind to re-render them is fucking futile.
    When you fuck a 9/10 foreign girl, you will go through all sorts of existential and internal thoughts. A whole array of philosophical questions will pop up in your head. Mostly, “Why the fuck did I stay in America for so long?”. “What’s stopping me from getting out?”. “What’s happened to my friends?”, “What really is happiness? Desire? Love”. You will fully understand the full 3-D of the experience and not some blog post about what kind of girls are out in eastern Europe.
    It helps your internal world because you can ‘internalise’ this ‘experience’ and understand a more ‘higher depth’ of the world and the metaphysical representations of the: beautiful, eternal, celestial that seems to be boldly apparent in feminine women. Feminine women have the highest complications of these aesthetic qualities. It’s the type of poetry which has a man going for days.
    It is almost petty to internalize your reality if you live in a Small American town. It is almost petty to re-program it. Acceptance and being content with this sad reality will make you complacent.
    Cognitive dissonance and anguish is Beautiful. It’s beautiful because it’s the driving force to get out. It’s a motivator. It provides incentives. It clarifies your intent. You need anguish. Without dissonance you will feel that everything is right, everything is cohesive. You will happily stroll pass the fat american girls, only to ‘game’ her in the bar the next night because of a biological necessity, then you wake up and you realise the heffa you’ve laid, only to ‘re-program’ it as a beautiful experience.
    I don’t know the difference between what’s Real and Artificial. But I do know the difference between a boy and a man. A man has experience trauma. A man takes risk. A man is sublime. A man goes into the unknown to seek the beautiful.
    Don’t come to accept the ‘known’ and re-program yourself to accept it. It will lead you to have bad results. Embrace anguish and get out of your hick-small town prison complex.

  33. Men in the man-o-sphere who feel anguish? You might want to re-read this.
    IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
    The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,
    When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
    –That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, —
    That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
    Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.
    But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.

  34. Lol all Arabic references! What’s up with this fascination? Don’t you read anything that is not written in Arabic?
    After reading this post, what did I learn? Nothing. You’re merely repeating that the USA is fucked but that happiness comes from within…
    Merry Christmas!

  35. we need more positive masculinity articles on ROK like this one.
    Thank you, it was a treasure to read

  36. I think it’s important to have principles in this world. Every individual has them not to mention they will alter slightly as you become older, acquire more experiences, and attain more wisdom.
    But one cannot live their lives expecting other people and facets of the world to be a certain way. To do so would be setting yourself up for disappointment, wasted energy, and a loss of precious time. Keep up the good work Quintus.

  37. Anguish ?! HA ! The manosphere, with RoK being pretty much its center, has become too caught up in its own hate and nonsense that it would destroy itself. Shaming virgins and gamers ? Articles glorifying eating disorders that, by the way, affect more men than women. What’s next – “Why body dismorphia should be embraced.” ? Get a grip on yourselves and give men the kick in the but to start living exciting lives and no, I don’t mean work, go to the club and miss the weekend.

  38. boooo fucking hooooo you weak ass males are crying about women finally having some rights for a change. You’re threatened by the fact they have brains, just like you… “WHAT? WOMEN ARE PEOPLE TOO? NOoooo way”

    1. Slore (that’s “slut” + “whore”, ’cause your feeble female brain couldn’t figure it out).

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