Girls

The Worst Thing You Can Do For Your Game

135 Comments

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached.

– Simone Weil

I lace up my shoes. The yoga class I attended has just ended. Everyone is making their way home, and I spot a smoking hot blonde with an incredibly tight body who was in class. I have to approach her. I slowly put on my jacket and make my way to the door, so that she is exiting at the same time. “Hey, do you come here often.”

“Yes, I’m actually studying to be an instructor so I have to take classes all the time,” she replies with a smile.

“Cool. You’re not from around here, are you?” I ask.

She blushes, “How can you tell? I moved in a year ago from Texas.”

Our conversation continues for three or four minutes, and I get her number. A smile comes across my face as I enter my car – I’m pumped. I now have her number, and I’ve been texting a girl I knew in college who just moved back into town. I deserve a pat on the back. That’s two whole girls… that I’m texting.

Don’t Make My Mistake

When you meet a hot girl that you want to bang or date or whatever, don’t get caught in the trap of expecting and hoping for it to happen. I’ve done this so many times in my life. I’ve seen my friends do the same thing. The problem is that you stop looking for other girls, because you already have one or two potential mates, and you become complacent. Not only does this behavior drown out the supply of new leads in your life, but it also negatively affects how you interact with the girls who you’re currently in contact with.

You will start to see them as your only option, and this will kill your game. It will cause anguish and pain when one stands you up or stops replying to your text messages. Instead of letting go and moving on, you’ll fight to win her over or just get a response. In the end, this will cripple you. You will lose the leads that you do have, and your confidence to approach and find new leads will go with it.

The alpha treats his leads all the same, until something actually happens. If you haven’t even gone on a date with, or kissed a girl, you shouldn’t invest anything into the relationship (if you can even call it that). They haven’t earned your attention yet.

Follow These Steps

1. When you get the number of a girl, put a note in your calendar to text her in a couple days.
2. When you text her, keep it simple. Just ask her how she is.
3. If she responds, directly ask her if she wants to hang out later in the week.
4. If she says yes, then make plans. If she says no, then delete her number.

Following this simple routine will prevent you from overly investing in a girl who doesn’t give a shit about you and will never actually meet up with you. Yes, she may text you back because she likes the attention you’re giving her, but if she won’t meet up with you then stop wasting your time and energy.

Check out my new book, The Book of Alpha. It’s full of direct, actionable advice for the man who wants to better himself.

Read More: Don’t Look For A Girlfriend

135 thoughts on “The Worst Thing You Can Do For Your Game”

  1. I am also guilty of having done this in the past too many times. In case she isn’t interested you waited all the time just to stand there all alone at the end. That is not worth it.
    Even if I get to know a girl who I think is totally interested in me I don’t stop to approach other women. I never failed with this attitude besides once where I approached the sister of the girl who gave me her number a few days earlier. Uh, that was nasty…

  2. I think we’ve all made that mistake haven’t we? I know I have.
    A hot girl messaged me yesterday telling me she thought she saw me out and about, and all I said was “cool”. This led her to saying “next time I will say hi!”. That’s a lead with zero investment. That’s how I am now viewing all girls. I don’t hope I see her again, I do not give a shit. But if I do, it’s going to be a close.
    I only trust actions now. Words are cheaper than ever.

  3. 100% true. I am not even good at meeting women but here is a fact. I’ve never gotten a phone number from a woman until after I’ve seen her naked.
    I set up a time & place to meet with her, in person, then walk away. No one gets a phone number. Either she shows up or she doesn’t. Getting a phone number is bad, but texting is death twice over.
    Don’t text until you’ve fucked. Only my opinion.

    1. Libertarians aren’t supposed to have sex before marriage, that’s for libertines.

    2. Yeah…. maybe you haven’t realized your opener doesn’t really matter. You can get away with plenty worse.

      1. I once opened with ” will you marry me” lol
        She said yes.
        Of course, we didnt get married, but I did fuck her that night.

  6. Next time you get excited for a girl, think about how annoying, nagging, childish, illogical and boring she probably is.
    That will cool down you to act aloof.

    1. Or consider the ridiculously high flake rate women have and expect that going in. That should keep every man grounded in reality and continuing to work the numbers game.

    2. Molnar, you might be the only halfway attractive guy posting here. Can you please post a pic of you looking straight into the camera so that I and my brother can determine if this is true or not? He told you on the other thread that I am currently into EE guys, particularly if they have Arab admixture.
      Bring it!

      2. You have a pic of me already, it should be enough.
        Show me what you have Sister. Be sexy. (hint: I love pin-up)

        1. I’m sorry but as you already posted a pic of yourself online for the world to see, it is only congruent for me to ask for more. I have never posted a pic of myself on a blog because of privacy issues. But it seems you don’t care. So I’m asking for more. If you do, and if I find you cute (at least a solid 7), then I will exchange email addresses with you and send a pic of myself. I am not interested in any other man here’s photo but yours’, hence they also have no right to my picture, but you DO, if you comply with my request. (But I’ll understand if you don’t).
          By the way, I am currently dating an Albanian and he is so handsome, sweet and romantic, not at all like the slobs and emotionally stunted aspies we have in the US that pass for “men”. I like old world charm and it appears EE men have it as well as Arabs. Therefore I am pro-immigration, but carefully selected for looks and IQ. 😉

        5. “Show me what you have Sister.”
          And please don’t tell me that EE men have become as low class and degenerate as American men by asking for nekkid e-photos. My god is there anywhere McGlobalization has not touched? I guess I’ll have to ex pat to a Madagascar jungle in order to get away from American crassness, and even there it will come and ruin the place within a year or so.
          There’s no way to “enjoy the decline” when you can’t escape Amerikkka no matter where the hell you go.
          Is Hungary really that far gone, Molnar?

        6. im pro immigration too..mass female immigration from Asia and Southamerica..and mass immigration of Western females to Greenland.

        7. Bring it! South Americans and Asians are lovely people. Their cuisines sure beat ours also. I only suggest we screen for IQ and looks. America is already filled with ugly, low IQ fat asses. We don’t need more.

        9. Molnar, can you kindly stop bringing these stupid attention whores here? Do you really want a bunch of bitches invading this website and ruining the masculine atmosphere here?

        10. hey gaiz!!!! I know this is a site for masculine men but I just can’t help myself coming on here and trolling for attention. Cause I’m a girl and you know, girls are sugar and spice and everything nice

        12. It is his fault for posting that photo of himself. First halfway decent looking guy in the Manosphere yet.

        13. No because I’ve been there and the men are not tall, dark and handsome. Its the far north, remember. Pale skin, indistinct features. Unattractive.

        14. I feel you. I live in the far West and the women are fat, entitled,, angry and ugly. I’d wish they would just somehow fuckoff..just justoff ! LEAVE..OR DIE WHO THE FUCK CARES..and to be replaced with nice, slim pleasant Asian beauties. But no, I’m stuck with what every man in the know hates the most. The Western so called “female”

        15. Mass emigration of Western females to greenland…. poor greenlandish men, I think we will have to take them in as refugees after western fat females give them the scrotum stretcher.

        16. I doubt that you would stand a chance in Russia. I mean come on, a fat, angry, obnoxious western feminist in the see of sweet young, slim teenage beauties ..every law of nature denies that.

        18. I agree. Western people of Northern European extraction, particularly Scotts, Irish, Anglo, but not limited to them, are the ugliest people on earth. Not to say all are unattractive but most are. Men and women both.

        21. Question on Topix Forum:
          What makes Albanian men so handsome and sexy?
          http://www.topix.com/forum/world/albania/TOCN6REPRLJR16Q8K
          First Comment by “Sapphire Eyes”:
          i like albanian guys i think they make very good father’s and family menand hard workers and they don’t cheat like other guys from other cultures i hate it that i hear some albanian women that complains about them when all i seee is the beauty of thses albanianguys i prefer them over american men!!!

        23. that`s called traficking and prohibited by international law.
          sorry bro… you have to keep your bitches home. muahahaha

    3. Molnar, please don’t tell me you’re turning into an American MRA bitter boy? If I bring you to the States you will get further corrupted! Therefore I will come to Hungary. Be ready to host me. I will make this for you and your family (I know Hungarians live at home with their parents and I fully support that). American men can’t wait to leave their parents and parents kick American men out. That’s the “family values” in this damned country). Anyway, I’ll make you all this;
      http://foodswallpaper.com/mexican-food-wallpaper-for-ipad/mexican-food-wallpaper-for-ipad-2/

      2. we are only bitter as long as you, Western Female, are with us. If you vanished, all of you, happiness would reign supreme.

  7. The ‘delete’ function of your phone when it comes to women’s numbers is an under-appreciated feature that comes with all models of cellular device, believe it or not. In deleting a chick’s phone number you do two things. 1.) Prevent yourself from indulging in beta-level behavior by seeking attention scraps from more-than-likely uninterested or clinically retarded chicks you’ve met. Draw the line early, and hold to it. Admit to yourself she’s either not interested or playing games. Move on before you torpedo your own manhood by sending desperate texts that give her a bigger whiff of your pussy than you’ll ever get from hers. 2.) On the off chance that she’s the kind of girl who loses her shit over a lack of attention, even from guys she’s shown no interest in, and texts you a week, a month, or six months later, you can honestly reply to her out-of-the-blue texts with “Who’s this?”. Now you’ve got an open-palm hanging out there in front you. Shake it, because that’s the upper-hand.

    1. I disagree, a girl’s number should never be deleted. You should always be able to know who is calling you in order to take proper action whatever it is. You can ignore the call if you wish, you can try again with a girl that was not available before but now is etc … Is not wise to delete numbers, just put an X in front of the name to dismiss it, but is always important to know who is calling.

  8. Nice work; logically stated and so true.
    I used to fall into the trap of “Got digits” and took my foot off the gas – worst possible move to make. ALWAYS stay on offense! If you’re in the zone – keep attacking.

  9. That is pretty much identical to what I do. Distinguishing attention-seeking behavior from genuine attention is impossible via text messaging so if they decline an opportunity to meet in person and don’t offer a counter opportunity to meet up I just delete the number.

    1. Same here. When a woman doesn’t reply to my text, or take several hours to respond, or refuses to meet up with me in person…I conclude that she has no interest in me, and I immediately delete her number.
      What’s interesting is that with the introduction of Game into society, it appears that women will utilize the concepts of Game and adopt ‘alpha male’ behavior to…well, become ‘alpha’, so they play aloof and hard-to-get and act disinterested via their texts the way an alpha male does. The only problem with this is that women acting like men, even through texting, is a turn-off for men and we assume through a woman’s aloof text game that she is simply not interested and thus we delete and move on. Only a desperate beta would chase an aloof woman. I find aloof women to be annoying and worthless…and completey uninterested in me, so I leave her alone and move on with my life.

      1. There just isn’t time to play the games. Sure, some of them might actually be interested and like the interest to be developed through text but I’m not going to waste the time sending clever texts to the girl to keep the interest. Meet up or fuck off. I don’t have facebook and I’m not interested in being their text-buddy.

  10. Ah……yoga class….Sorry but I don’t give a shit how many chicks you can bang or hook up with, I would never get into a yoga class period. Too busy lifting heavy weights. Not calling you out on this but not very masculine. You have to set the standard somewhere.

    3. Yoga is much better for you than lifting weights. Yoga also increases flexibility, strength, and makes injuries much less likely. It actually improved my conditioning a lot too. Doing yoga has nothing to do with masculinity. I know a lot of MMA fighters, BJJ guys, Thai Boxers, and all sorts of people that do yoga. It really helps conditioning and reduces injury risk.

      2. This guy wrote a great book titled “Convict Conditioning” on old-school calesthenics and why they are superior to weightlifting. Mainly because too much weightlifting damages your rotator cuff muscles. Would make for a good review here if anyone has really studied his program. I was merely inspired to do 100 pushups a day, not bad for a geezer.
        http://www.dragondoor.com/b41/

    4. In its country of origin yoga was and still is traditionally male oriented and male dominated. Don’t know why it took a female orientated twist in the West. Well, I guess everything here does.

      1. I never thought about that. So true. Most of the Yoga info I’ve seen from India had men involved. Men created it, wrote about it, and shared it with other men. From what I understand it was, and still is, a form of religious worship.
        On a related note, did you hear about the super old Indian guy who got his equally old wife pregnant? I think he broke the record for being the oldest father in the world. Guess what his hobby was?

        1. “On a related note, did you hear about the super old Indian guy who got
          his equally old wife pregnant? I think he broke the record for being the
          oldest father in the world. Guess what his hobby was?”
          Indians are the most fertile people in the world at a population of 1 billion and growing. Did you hear about the Indian guy who breast fed his baby? Mother had passed away. Science confirmed its possible.

      2. Marketing geniuses repackaged this ancient physical science for the American female consumer market. Dupes think they can meet interested women in yoga classes.

    6. There’s nothing more desperate than a man joining a class full of women. Its too obvious to the women in there that he’s only there to get his game on. If you’re a man, dont join yoga or spin or zumba or whatever fitness class is geared towards women. Its a move that can only be met with cyncism and reeks of desperation.

      1. Uh no. Surf the yoga sites and blogs. Soooooo many articles by women encouraging men to come to yoga classes. Especially men that cross a certain looks threshold. Believe me, we’d LOVE to see 7.5’s and higher in our yoga classes.

        2. No sentient man wants to be in the same room with those heffers when they do the “wind-relieving pose”.

    7. Yoga is the shit. I feel sorry for people who don’t try new things just because they’re concerned about how they look. I’ll even borrow your misguided logic for a moment and say that yoga is one of the most manliest things I’ve ever done. Doing exercises on and off gave me a slightly bigger erection, actually. Not that I needed it.
      It also would give me harder erections over all. I’d do some before meeting up with a girl or my girlfriend and have a great time. One of my exes actually screamed out “Damn!” when she felt how hard I was lol.
      Do some research. It boggles my mind why guys aren’t on this yet.

      1. I learned the basic yoga moves 40 years ago. It makes even more sense to me now than when I was young. At 57 I can touch my toes with my legs straight, and I never was as flexible as a lot of people. Couldn’t do the lotus pose as my legs are too damn long.
        I try to do it once a day to counteract the effects of being hooked to the computer all the time. Only takes a few minutes to go through the basic set of postures. But joining a yoga class seems a lame way to meet women.

  11. Good advice. Wish this site had been around when I was younger. I would have been “deleting” a lot.

    1. Yeah well. Sometimes we gotta go back to the basics. A little refresher course never hurts anyone.

  13. Texting is beta behavior. IMO, be a man (or an adult, this shouldn’t just be men) and make a call. Have an activity planned and not one that shows you off as a wallet (dinner dates are the worst) or a pussy (coffee.) Since I’m off the market, I’ll give you my best ones that women loved: The shooting range, river cruises, limited art exhibitions (Vincent Van Gogh’s works were in town here in DC), small theater (inexpensive and fun!), to name a few. They are intellectual and impress the heck out of women you thought of them.
    Call her and if you get a voice mail, leave it. You can’t avoid NOT admitting you reached her and try again (which makes you look desperate anyway) and if you leave the details of a fun activity on voice mail, she will HAVE to call you back. If she doesn’t, then she’s a “game” player herself who wants to yank men’s chains. If later she asks what you did, say you took another girl.

    1. You gotta realize this is now 2014. Women don’t talk on the phone. They text. Nowadays, just CALLING looks desperate to a <25 yo woman. Talking about America here, anyway. You have to text – in all lower case with careless misspellings, zero punctuation, to show that you don’t give a fuck.
      Also, Western women aren’t intellectual. If you happen to meet a REAL woman who you want to take on a REAL date then unique, deliberate, and memorable ideas are welcome. If you are looking to PnD some 21 yo college slut then the bar or dinner at your place is plenty good enough.

      2. I maintain proper punctuation for the most part in my texts but I completely agree that calling just isn’t perceived as acceptable to any girl under 30 in America. Calling is considered “sketchy” for how forward it is.

        1. If you’re really handsome (8 and higher) you can not only get away with calling, but she’ll be THRILLED. But 7s and lower? Meh. Text and see what happens. Problem is most Americans are 5s at the very best.

        3. Translation: You can only call if the girl you are gaming is BELOW you on the 1-10 scale… which is an unlikely scenario unless you area desperate man.

        4. You can only call if the girl is at least 2 points below you. The further down you go, the better luck you will have. Because women are hypergamous most men end up with women at 1-3 below them anyway.

      3. related observation: calling your mates (male buddies)will also lower your image among friends…..texting+bad spelling is the modern day holy grail to gain an upper hand

      4. Right. Fuck a river cruise. At least at dinner I can eat, and coffee is cheap and tastes great. When I lived in England “How about you and me go out for a nice friendly drink sometime” worked every single time. But that was Europe.

  14. R.Don Steele had a saying “Don’t make it happen, let it happen”.
    Had it been ballroom dance class you would have felt her up instead of just looking at her.
    As for confessing your mistake, I am the master of beta blunders. I should get a lifetime achievement award for excellence in blowing opportunities with hot women.

    1. I’m with you, Uncle- I learned to swing dance back in the 90’s when i was just a young man of 23. Still at it at the ripe old age of 44. The chicks that go for that sort of thing are some of THE hottest pieces of ass out there: They are, as a rule, very feminine, just plain fun to be around, and know how to move.
      Fantastic fucks when it comes down to it.
      I encourage the younger men I know to get involved in dancing- and I ain’t talking about that “twerking” bullshit. Real dancing- it attracts a better class of woman, and frankly, wrapping yer arms around a luscious, willing female and spinning her around a dance floor is one of the most erotic things a man can do to a woman. It most assuredly has great potential to lead to other, more gratifying, things.
      Take it from an old fool, gents…

      1. ” I ain’t talking about that “twerking” bullshit.”
        But you do need to know how to move your hips and butt rhythmically and it does look more aesthetically pleasing if you have some curvature there.
        Latin lovers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        Un, dos, tres.

        2. It’s called “Latin Action” and you learn it in tango, cha-cha, rumba, samba, and salsa, among other classic dance styles.
          Twerking is retarded. If you aren’t partner dancing, it’s masturbation.

    2. “Had it been ballroom dance class you would have felt her up instead of just looking at her.”
      Putting one’s hand on the small of a woman’s back is considered “feeling her up”?
      Um, okaaaaaaaaay.

  15. Some attention whores would send you stupid emails (“save the whales” etc) AFTER they rejected you several times and you quitting asking them.
    Cut the crap, tell them to stop sending annoying emails. You will dis invest emotionally in them and will have more energy for pursuing more willing females.

  16. “High Probability Selling” is a book every man should read. It basically says that you should concentrate your efforts on WILLING prospects.
    It is based on the premise that it is easier to find a willing prospect than convincing an unwilling one to buy your product.

    1. well naturally, but then the problem shifts to finding enough willing leads, and you’re back to playing the numbers game, which was the original problem.

      1. My man, by shifting you will find that many of the less willing prospects will became very willing ones. It is an attitude that you radiate that says “not you? ok, next”

  18. forget about texting. use your real voice. what are you afraid of? besides, you can read her tone much better if you are actually listening to her instead of reading what she types. lazy modern people…

  19. Even if you get to date them, let them know you’re dating other people. It works wonders

    1. Of course you’d be dating other people, so would she. Exclusivity and monogamy don’t happen until you sit down and have “the talk”. Even then, nobody is legally obliged until an actual wedding takes place, and then only if the couple explicitly agrees to a monogamous, as opposed to an open, marriage.

      1. I can’t argue with that. There is no such thing as cheating if you are not married. Neither person has any legal right to the other.

  20. I browsed through Glamour and found one very interesting tidbit from
    their annual sex survey of 2,600 single men and women. Don’t take it
    too seriously – you know how these magazines are – but I found this
    interesting:
    Why Aren’t You Having Sex?
    Who says they’re not getting enough?
    48% of women
    56% of men
    Why not?
    WOMEN:
    Reaching orgasm takes too long.
    Partner not as horny as me.
    Two-year-old in our bed.
    Want more than a fuckbuddy.
    Live with my mom.
    He’s grouchy all the time.
    I can’t find anyone hot enough.
    MEN:
    No game.
    I’m a fat bastard.
    I guess I’m not dashing enough.
    Whiskey dick.
    Hell if I know.
    Not in a relationship.
    A cocktail of pickiness and eccentricity.
    I got dumped.
    Spent six months in the woods.
    Hookers expensive.
    Does any of this surprise you?
    I’m surprised the numbers are as close as they are. My own sense is
    that both sexes share the same struggles and complaints. However, the
    male responses are more passive and indistinct, which is odd given their
    allegedly higher sex drive.

  21. You do realize that some women that give out their numbers want to be friends first, get to know a guy, and then move on to dating. Deleting a number after she says “no” only once is stupid in my opinion. Its not like that no put you into the friend zone permanently.

    1. Agreed. She could also be going through something serious like the death of a friend, family member or pet, and might want to get back in touch after the grieving period.
      Too much nuance for an American guy! But family oriented men with high EQ, such as those often found in other countries, will understand.
      Molnar are you reading this?

        1. guess she didn’t realize that her poster would imply that 70% of women killed are not murdered by their boyfriends or husbands.
          Which, considering the state of females these days, is a pretty damn good statistic.

      3. dooooode we are talking about 99.99% of women here. Sure there are genuine cases, but child please!

      4. Why the hell are you posting this sentimental personal bullshit on this forum? I’m with JD on this- tits or gtfo

  22. MODS! Can you please ban this cancerous attention whore named “His Sister”?
    Do you guys really want this site getting infested with a bunch of attention whores? They are simply coming here to act like attention whores. They could care less about this site and the message RoK is trying to promote amongst young men.
    And to any other woman who wants to be an attention whore? Here’s a pic for you.

      1. I’ll post it once, each woman gets one time.
        The idea is that we need to stop feeding these fucking trolls.

        1. Once? You’ve done it thousands of times. That’s all you do here. RoK has decreased in quality since you’ve come on board. Just GFTO!

  23. Roosh’s “fuck funnel” applies here. You’ll always do more approaches than you get numbers, more numbers than you get dates, more dates than you get bangs, etc. I’m at the top of my game when I have a half dozen or more girls that I’m texting, which leads to 3-4 dates, and 1-2 bangs.

  24. I used to get hung up on what ifs too. But not anymore. Now, nothing counts until I get my dick in her. Before that she is just a person I know. Even after we fuck our situation is still malleable. The word relationship isn’t mentioned until she brings it up months into fucking, if she is worth keeping around that long. She needs to earn my attention, not the other way around. Try that reframe and see how it fits. Suits me well.

  25. The four steps are spot on. Too many people get caught up in small talk via text that may decrease the probability of a first date.

  27. Oh my God, Roosh is so fucking sexy, I want to ride his cock and I want him to blast his semen into me and impregnate me with his golden babies!!!!!

  28. The worst things you can do for your game are:
    1.Fuck prostitutes
    2.Masturbate to porn
    3.Live with your parents
    If you do this – you won’t even try to learn game.

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