The Misery Of Modern Day Conversation

A few months back I noticed my father and his younger brother having a conversation about each other’s life. My uncle is a brain surgeon in the US and my father is a first generation immigrant living in a Third World country where he raised a family. They were talking about stuff that I did not find particularly interesting however what struck me was the way the conversation went about.

During the conversation both my father and his brother took long pauses of up to several minutes before speaking about something. They felt no compunction to be funny or to tell a good story or a need to hold the other person’s attention. In short, they did not feel any need for validation or approval from the other person. I first thought that it is because they are brothers and have a level of comfort that enables them to do so, but when a mutual friend came along the pattern repeated—there were long pauses that were not at all awkward, most of the talk was mundane, and no one tried to one up the other or cut the other person in the middle of the conversation. This to me was absolutely striking as I have experienced exactly the opposite.

Audition Conversation

Whenever I am around with a friend of mine there is an instinctive need among both of us to talk non-stop, we both fear dead air like the radio business. A common result of the anxiety is that we usually run out of things to talk very quickly and rack our brains at 100 miles per hours to come up with something, which usually leads to exaggeration and padding. I have noticed the same with all of my friends and the situation becomes even more hopeless in front of girls where it is almost like an episode of a cookie cutter talent show with one minute to impress the judges.

In a group, the environment becomes even more desperate with everyone trying to out-talk and outshine the other person. This reminds me of one group discussion sessions in colleges or job interviews. The saddest part in the whole story is that there is no judge or a reward to be given for “winning” the conversation

The tendency of people to lapse into an audition mode as soon as there is a conversation through non-stop talking is what I would call the Audition Conversation. And as with so many other things this is an American export which as the Rome of modern world decides the culture in the provinces. The typical two-minute attention span of an average American is now finding its way all across the world, which has led to people approaching any conversation like an audition where they seek to keep the attention of the other person, rather than have a fulfilling, stress relieving conversation of my father’s generation. Conversations nowadays have the exact opposite effect.

Impressing the Judges!

The remedies that I suggest for the above mentioned problem are my own and I have only personal experience to vouch for, these are as follows:

1. Do not talk if you don’t want to

This is not as facile as it seems and the key to mastering it is to practice it. I stopped trying to impress or humor the other person and did not talk when I did not have anything to talk about. It was awkward and tough in the beginning, but you will eventually lose the anxiety.

2. Do not fear the other person leaving

This is a common fear that people have in this insane validation seeking society of ours. I no longer try to drag on a conversation when it gets tiring and usually leave when there is nothing to talk about or I derive no further utility from the company of the other person. This again will be difficult at first, but after a few attempts it will come naturally to you. Beware however that you are organic in your withdrawal and the other person does not feel that you used him as a therapist without hearing his side of the story. The best time to leave is when the conversation becomes stale and you will know when it does.

3. Do not ridicule

Now this one is a little more nuanced than a simple ‘thou shalt not’. Genuine light banter is almost always a part of any healthy conversation and there almost always develops a pecking order in any group which has been together for any length of time. However, my problem is with assholes that deride and mock someone in a group as a method of attention whoring. Yes, you may get a few laughs from people you don’t care about but more often than not you will create long-lasting bitterness in the person at receiving end of your mockery. The rule that I follow is simple: only mock people whose mockery you can laugh off. Take special care not to use the mockery method of getting more air time when meeting new people.

4. Do not heckle

Many times there is more than one especially motivated audition contestant. This usually leads to constant heckling, abrupt cuts and an all-out poisonous environment. Let the hecklers sort it out among them and take your leave as soon as the discussion degenerates into a heckling match.

5. Do not exaggerate

This is probably the hardest step to follow. As human being we instinctively crave drama. All of us deep in our hearts want titillation, deeds of valor or anything which would add spice to our mundane life, but the problem is when we make things up to fill that void. This manifests itself most remarkably in our tendency to over-dramatize a mundane event or even a different event that takes place in our lives. You have to stop the urge to exaggerate your deeds and that by itself will take away the validation-seeking mentality which has been bred into us by the pop culture of our times. You also have to let go of the need to cast yourself as the hero or winner of the story or claim a moral victory when the facts suggest clear defeat or surrender. In other words, do not lie to yourself.

These are protocols that I suggest would be useful for the manosphere, especially when the manosphere is taking the leap from internet to the real world and various meet ups are inevitably arranged. In the end I would like to tell all readers that conversations over time will be much less stressful and productive once the audition mentality is gone.

Read More: A Typical Empowered Woman’s Conversation In Any City USA

94 thoughts on “The Misery Of Modern Day Conversation”

  1. Dope advice right here. I think I’ve been doing 1 and 2 already without actually realizing it.

  2. You don’t have prove anything to anybody except yourself. I usually try to keep the conversation focused on the other person and if there’s nothing else to say, then that’s okay. If there’s a connection then there will always be another time.

  3. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
    Not sure who said that, maybe Ben Franklin.

    1. Your quote looks like the version attributed to George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans).

      1. Hávamál, # 27, translated from Icelandic (aka Old Norse):
        For the unwise man ’tis best to be mute
        when he come amid the crowd,
        for none is aware of his lack of wit
        if he wastes not too many words;
        for he who lacks wit shall never learn
        though his words flow ne’er so fast.

    2. God I hate that stupid fucking quote. Personally I’d rather speak up and risk looking the fool for a moment, than allowing myself to be cowed into silence by the fear of people thinking less of me. I mean shit, speaking up and looking the fool is how you learn for fucks sake.

      1. You’re an idiot.
        Here’s how it goes:
        Speaking up and not making a fool out of yourself
        Remaining silent
        Speaking up and making a fool out of yourself

  4. What an excellent article, the quality on this site is rapidly increasing from female hating rants to PUA sales pitches to very insightful, well structured, well thought out pieces.

    1. Agree. Really shows how we in this sphere aren’t self-absorbed and looking to vent. We’re looking for intelligent discussion on a range of issues that affect humanity.
      As per this article, it’s all about maintaining frame

    2. After seeing feminist posts about the correlation between Elliot Rodgers and Misogyny, I feel like I am about to explode on the inside.
      My daily routine:
      1. Read ROK
      2. Wish I could leave the Feminist Stats Of America (am soon)
      3. Call out silly feminists
      I’m happy the site is moving away from PUA sales pitches.

      1. Take a trip out of the US to somewhere where women take joy out of pleasing their men and aren’t raised to hate or compete with men. It will open your eyes and you’ll never want to touch another American woman EVER again.

    3. I’m glad there’s finally a term for this trend I’ve been noticing as well – an audition conversation. Conversing with SWPLs is especially painful to me since people in the group:
      a) try to one-up everyone else
      b) completely shut-out anyone with original thoughts or ideas
      c) usually focus on food, stupid pop culture trends, TV shows, movies, or sports
      d) focus on shallow small-talk
      e) emulate the banality of MSM sitcoms and comedians
      f) sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm
      g) split hairs down to a fucking atom trying to be armchair critics of everything
      h) shun opinions outside those they are told to have by the government/media/education complex (Cathedral)
      i) mock and blacklist those who don’t conform to their myopic, narrow views

      1. SWPLs sound like hipsters to me.
        “Oh you just found this great new band? I was listening to them years ago. Before they released their first album. I was a fan of their demos on Sound Cloud.”

    4. “”the quality on this site is rapidly increasing from female hating rants “”
      Got a link for that? I’m not doubting you but if there’s a “female hating rant” I missed I’m curious to see it.

    5. “What an excellent article, the quality on this site is rapidly increasing from female hating rants to PUA ”
      Go back to BluePillReddit you little faggot.

    6. This is the only comment I upvoted lol. Tbh I was reading this articles and their comments to laugh at all the hate to feminist, open-minded people, change of the structure (of anything): Really a lot of conservatism here

  5. I have read this exact peice before, somewhere else. Like a month ago. Where did i read this?

  6. “These are protocols that I suggest would be useful for the manosphere…”
    This calm, centered demeanor sounds like an aspect of manliness — the mark of a mind that returns readily to important thoughts and purposes, not hooked on a sugar-high of trivia, emotions and distractions to fill up an empty hours, or an empty space between the ears.

    1. Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it’s necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
      –I don’t know. That’s a good question.
      That’s when you know you’ve found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

  7. A breakdown of the word “conversation”
    As we can see here, the art of the con-versation is to con the other into saying a verse in an art form
    the master speaks to improve on silence. -Lao Tzu
    be firm, and conclusive when speaking, Max benefit, lowest exertion, and gives off a smart guy vibe

  8. Rascals are always sociable, more’s the pity! and the chief sign that a man has any nobility in his character is the little pleasure he takes in others’ company.
    -Arthur Schopenhauer

  9. I suspect that this is context driven more than hard and fast for every conversation you have? I cannot imagine according myself in a sober, to the point demeanor when I’m at bike night with my buddies. If we do not routinely call each other “sonofabitch” or “asshole” while smiling and laughing, we’re probably not talking. The stories and story telling and the creative ways of doing it are all part of the fun of the conversations in that context. We’re not there to exchange knowledge for knowledge and to provide emotional support, we’re there bullshiting like men have bullshitted for millenia. Whoa to the mead hall that was not filled with festive drinking and boasting.
    In a boardroom or any other non-fun locale however, yes, definitely. Work and day to day normal conversations are tedious and mind numbing to a fault.

  10. This is good advice for being a mature human being. It is shit advice for getting laid; see: “How to be a good clown” by Roosh.

    1. Yeah, putting on clown shoes and tap dancing all night just for the slim chance of getting laid. Stop embarrassing yourself, clown.

      1. I’m not promoting acting like a fool but there is no doubt it is the way to go to get attention from women. This is the exact reason I don’t go to clubs to try for hookups, it is one big clown-off and it feels degrading to participate in it. No disrespect to guys that are seeing good results with clown game, they didn’t make the rules they just play the game.

        1. Some women like to get fucked by a non-judgemental average guy, while they fantasize about the good looking alpha guy, to some women a dick is a dick, and their imagination serves them, you just need to be average to get them off anyway. I have had several girlfriends who i could actively tell by looking in their eyes that they wanted someone else’s cock, But who was fucking them that night? I was. Not the guys they’d eye fuck in malls, or the guys whom they would write ‘oo hes so dreamy” in their text messages to other friends lol. See it all doesn’t matter so long as you’re the one giving the dick!
          Most better male specimens have a serious look to them, they ruin their advantage by being too serious and entitled this is the genius of clown game
          I, the average male, would be giving them the dick. You see the dynamic? James bond serious alpha looking dude with no game = Dick in his hand. Average clown = giving the dick, this would no doubt give endless frustration if i were a more genetically gifted specimen, the idea some average guy could fuck the same girl as me would annoy me. But that’s reality. Even a 8/10 male still needs to be a good clown in today’s climate, so no excuses for us average looking males, shell get bored of the 8/10 male and cheat on him too! Women have no loyalty and get bored of men and see us all as disposable.
          Its becoming quite clear to me that women are interested in alpha males in their fantasies when in reality most of them will fuck an average good clown, i see it all the time, an average guy with a hot chick, and the one thing they all have in common , guy is a clown. Of course the woman have no loyalty or respect for clowns and see you as disposable this is just the way it is, they trade you in for a new clown to have the fun all over again once you’re performance gets boring. Men and women really have nothing in common. Some women don’t want to keep a perfect male around to remind her of how flawed she is.
          The in-direct message from women is simple, “be a Clown or go jerk off!”
          I’ve lost lots of potential lays to better clowns in the same night, I clown game, get a number and than i see the same girl with a better looking clown , clowning her up. It feels degrading but it’s nothing you cant get used to, It’s better than spending weeks using smart game to some cunt on skype , the hardest lays in the world are lays where you have to project value through intelligence in communication, so fucking laborious and never again! the easiest lays are when you act like an idiot and are forward about sex, they know within 5 minutes if they want the dick or not anyway

      2. I think you’re missing the point. Conversations are for sharing with men whose opinions you respect, and in that case these are great rules to follow. And, by the way, that Roosh article is fucking stellar.
        Women,conversely, are not good partners in conversation any more than young children are. And so you entertain a woman the same way as you’d entertain a small child: with bright colors and shiny things, goofy acts and physical play. You know in advance the small child or woman has a 30-second attention span at best. Therefore you, as the superior one, lower yourself to their level of communication–this because you are capable of reducing yourself, while your inferior is incapable or rising to your level. This is, of course, only applicable if you want to interact with women and small children.

        1. Look, I got me a hater! I’m famous now. Dude, you will NEVER beat me…at anything–unless you get lucky at a video game. What do you play? Maybe I can stream myself beating you at that, too.
          Learn how to be graceful in defeat. I know I hurt you. You gave me the key to your deepest fear. What was that?

        2. You’re a failed actor, your mediocre achievements are participation awards at best. It’s hilarious how much of a clown you are, stop exposing yourself.

        3. Ok, little bitch boy. You’d rather experience the bad side of me. I can do that. That’s where I shine. Let’s watch me be an asshole, it’s fun. By the way, good job on following my instructions. Thanks for importing the beef to this thread, as I commanded.
          Let’s start here and progress. Although I must admit, crushing a sad child will be probably one of the low points of my career when it comes to curb-checking faggots. In fact, by chasing me around like you are, you’ve proven to be so feminine that I feel like Roosh should ban me for responding to you.
          So, why do you obsess over me? You’re following me from feed to feed, trolling me. You obviously have a man-crush on me because of how brutal I am, and can be. Wait…my hair is giving me psychic powers…it’s all coming into focus. I…understand. You’re a rape victim. Your daddy fucked your baby butt. Am I getting close? Was it your uncle? Little baby cumrag…any chance you can change your handle to that? Let’s have a cathartic moment together, baby gonzocumrag. You have an obsession with being dominated now. Therefore, you to actively seek out my disapproval, even when I extend you the olive branch.
          Actually, you’re so vapid that it’s kind of hard to insult you. You’re hardly even there. You pretty much don’t exist. If you disappeared from the face of the planet, nobody would care. I mean, I’m sure some people would be relieved. Except for me, I’d laugh. Then I’d forget you forever, like the rest of the world.
          You actually tried to insult me by scoffing at the fact that I took a team to world competition when I was 10 years old. Is that supposed to sting? Do you think I hang my hat on that achievement? On the contrary, I was revealing my history as a peace offering. I could give one fat flying fuck that even at 10 I could write a play, design a set, create costumes, write a song, play the lead role and pull it all off in front of world-tier judges. Who cares? It’s just a piece of my history, nothing more.
          You, child, can’t even construct a paragraph, much less compose…well, anything. In fact, what can you do? Answer me, baby gonzocumrag. Reply, you useless piece of dogshit. What can you do? Can you play lots and lots of video games? Respond, you faggot coward. What are you good at? Or are you too afraid to tell me? Are you afraid that I’ll make fun of whatever pathetic achievement you’ve managed to accomplish? You are. I’m deeper in your head than your daddy was in your ass. You’ll probably never in your life achieve the success I randomly had as a 5th grader. But, by all means, prove me wrong. Brag on your achievement. Which doesn’t exist.
          You want someone to abuse you? Sure, I’ll do it. Until I get bored of your pathetic whimpers, at which point I’ll toss you to the piss-filled curb like your ass-fucking daddy (uncle?) did. Did you like provoking me? Is it fun to watch me psychologically abuse a child? Type in another vapid sentence so a can get a centimeter deeper in your ghetto of a consciousness and convince you how important is to the rest of the world that you kill yourself.
          See what I did there? That’s an example of being insulting. For research purposes only. See how much more diabolical my version was?

        4. I’m an Electrical and Computer Engineer that will most likely quadruple your net worth before the age of 30. It’s hilarious watching you get worked up, you’re a mediocre fraud.

        5. That fraud thing again. You’ve used that word consistently since your first comment.
          What does that imply about your mentality? That, of all things, you consider fraudulent behavior to be highly common. Why would that occur to you? Because fraud, lies, are a basis of your life. Fraudulent behavior is so intermixed in your life that you consider it a reasonable insult. Let me tell you a few things, baby gonzocumrag. Nobody considers ‘fraud’ to be a decent insult. Are you even American? I can’t imagine a red-blooded American to consider that an insult. I haven’t taught you enough. Boy. Didn’t you notice how I exposed your childhood rape in front of the world? I defaced you. And the best insult you can come up with is “fraud”? You suck balls at this. You’re a lost cause. I reject your weak application to the dark side. You’re, at best, a petty liar. And you’re too incompetent to join the light side either. You’re just the human feces that fertilizes the future, nothing more. Good luck getting rich with Exxon. You’re as gullible as any woman. You’re a whore without a pimp.
          Woo, you’re an under 30 “wannabe” electrical engineer? And you refer to “by the time I’m 30” as if that’s some distant goalpost. Holy fuck, mate, you’re in deeper shit than I thought. Do you have any idea what’s coming in the next 3 years? You really think that you’re gonna “work for Exxon” and “get rich by “”””30″”””. You’ll be lucky to survive to 30, baby cumrag. Nothing’s a given. Before you get anywhere close to your dream, the world will be smashed in front of your face. I promise you that. I’ll do it myself. Scoff now, die later. And I, unlike you, do not lie. You should learn some new skills. Like how to wear a gimp mask. You’re qualified for that. Approved.
          Let me guess…no, wait, I have it. My hair’s bringing it in. You’re still in college? Or wait, just out of college with massive debt. Certainly, in any case, you have no job. Yes…Exxon’s “hitting you up” with contracts all day. Why not take one? Why are you still being “hit up”? Because you haven”t been accepted yet. But you’ve got high hopes that your “computer engineering” degree will make you rich. Holy shit, you’re dumber than I thought. I figured you for a high school kid. Well, you’re pretty much nothing more than that.
          I’m glad you also decided to share with me. You’re a reticent one, you are. You really made me work to expose your basic failure. I knew sharing my childhood hobby would draw you out. Why? Who knows why. I’m more of a doer than a planner.

        6. It’s an interesting theory. I’ve noticed the lack of quality of the conversations I’ve had with women. Especially when they start an ‘opinion’ that they haven’t thought of which they based solely on emotion and no logical reason whatsoever. I recount a female coworker saying that a 70 year old male should be jailed for a single sexual exploit that he did at aged 20. No logical reason that people change over time just an emotional response. There have many cases like this.

        7. You’re a nobody, give it up clown. Sorry, you don’t have college debt when you’re given free rides to elite Universities. I don’t have to work for Exxon, IBM and Texas Instruments want me to join their companies. It’s all extremely easy work, when you get out of poverty type to me again.

        8. Are you actually still typing baby brain, it’s hilarious how worked up you’ve become.

        9. So once again you admit…you’re unemployed.
          Ghetto living fraud. Go talk about rap, fraud. Your whore mom pumped out another piece of ‘hood trash, you bastard fraud. Maybe you’d have some respect if your dog of a good for nothing daddy wasn’t in prison.
          Stop typing.

        10. I’ve just graduated University and already have more job offers from fortune 500 companies than you’ll ever dream to see. Unemployed? I have the luxury of choosing my pick of employers over the summer. How old are you? I’m 21.You should feel very embarrassed if you’re in your 30’s. You must be salty for majoring in Liberal Arts, small brain.

  11. Can I add a 6th? Ask relevant questions, even if you aren’t particularly interested in what the person is saying. I pay attention to conversations going on around me in lots of different environments, and I’ve noticed that probably 90 to 95% of people do not do this. It makes a very good impression.

        1. It was a joke.
          Ask relevant questions,
          “What kind of gerbil food do you recommend?”

        2. Sorry, I just finished with a back-and-forth with some idiots in the comments section of another website, so I think their stupidity rubbed off on me.

        3. Nah I think the question mark proved your point really… his question was so irrelevant that it was like ‘WTF you on about mate?’

        4. is gerbil food really irrelevant when dealing with a hamster though??? ?? ?????? ? ?? ? ? ? gerbil food – for thought!!!! ! ! !!

  12. I think there is a certain togetherness about being around somebody else and at the same time being comfortable with long periods of silence. It brings a sense of “us” when both look out and observe what is out there, like two partners on a mission looking out at the horizon.

  13. He believes that USA is the Rome of modern world and the rest are just provinces
    It is London that is the new Rome, Babylon, etc. USA is just the policeman.

  14. We have long periods if silence with my wife, sometimes is just nothing but silence. Does that mean we’re good?

    1. Count your blessings, or dispose of the body. Either way, you’re better off than most married men.

  15. I was blocked on my home computer for responding to a woman yet you’ve allowed cunts to post here for the last few weeks.
    If you are not going to enforce your rules than you are no better than the faggots and the Femis.

  16. Good stuff…I have another, although it’s kind of along the same lines: avoid pandering to others in a weak attempt to ingratiate yourself. Its boring and ultimately dishonest and destructive.
    Say what you really think. Pandering to others, being more complimentary than necessary, or merely spewing the most politically politically correct, non risky dialogue is weak, uninteresting and represents discourse at its worst…lately I notice this is almost exclusively how people interact.
    Conversation is at it most interesting when ideas are challenged and explored.
    If you don’t think the emperor is wearing any clothes…..say so.

    1. The pandering crap is an automatic red flag to me, I hate that shit, especially when it’s directed at me.
      When you’re intelligently opposed to a topic and express it calmly and without rancor (but with solid conviction) you tend to actually find people relieved to not be dealing with a chump, and happy to engage you in topics outside of the weather/sports/etc. The guide to conversation has always been to avoid the topics of religion or politics, so I go directly to those topics if the door is opened to them inadvertently by somebody else or by an external factor. Avoiding rewarding and intellectual topics is no way to live.

  17. the worst kind of conversation and a really easy trap to fall into is the unsolicited advice… be it about, health, working out, dating girls, getting a job, going on vacation etc. etc. etc… every man and his blog is some self appointed expert these days… everyone has google and they think because they spent 5 minutes on wikipedia reading about the population of Guatemala that they can instantly recommend it to you as a holiday / work / retirement destination and you should instantly act on their advice…

    1. Interesting and for the most part true. With the growth of the internet blogs, or web log, anyone can post their opinion online and call it advice. The problem with that advice is the moderate probability that it’s subjective information. Anybody can give an opinion, but it’s up to you whether or not you’ll put additional energy out there to see if it’s credible information.

    2. “every man” and women
      That reminds me… all these fucking top 10, top 15, and top 5 list have got to stop. They all say the same shit

  18. Nice article Alex.
    I first read this when you were a guest post writer over at mattforneycom
    Thanks for sharing!

  19. Exaggeration to make for a better story is the heart of manly discussion.

    1. There’s exaggeration that is mutually understood to be exactly that then there’s bragging and story padding in an effort to undermine.

  20. Everyone constantly texting on their got damn iPhone’s all day now has really gotten under my fucking skin. It use to be just women but now this disease is affecting grown ass men as well. Sorry, but constantly approaching and trying to talk to grown women while they are lost in their iPhone’s is just aggravating.

    1. Therefore we set the example. And demonstrate the superior life and the excellence thereof. If they don’t pay attention be assured that you are the ones moving forward. If they don’t climb the rope offered to them worry not.

  21. People have exaggerated stories and achievements as long as humans have existed, this isn’t some new, modern phenomena.

  22. What really annoys me about most conversations in the US, at least with people of a certain age, is that people always want to talk about work. The first question a new acquaintance always asks is “What do you do for a living?” I don’t mind telling people my job–it’s not low status or anything–but people then want to have an extended conversation about it. “Oh, what got you interested in that? Where did you go to school? What type of company is that?” I would personally prefer to discuss books, hobbies, personal philosophies, etc., but I’m starting to think that 90% of Americans aren’t even capable of such conversations. So if I don’t play along and pretend to be interested in capitalist affiliations, then I’ll be forced to discuss TV, and that’s even worse.

    1. I experienced that myself with chronologically adult American women, but I swear, this even applies to married American/Americanized women too.
      Either way, this forever applies to both men and women, especially when men are treated like surplus, according to another website.
      Credit to Lance for finding this for me.

    2. It is the same in Australia. It is the product of living in empty workhorse cultures. Who gives a fuck what someone does for a living? All i care about is whether they are good company.

    3. You nailed this one. I’ve experienced both ends of this as far as status is concerned. I used to think I hated work-talk because I had a low status job. But now I’ve had a high-status job for years, and I still don’t understand how this is the only topic of discussion for most people. BTW, my favorite philosophers are Plato and Schopenhauer.

  23. I have been a salesman for many years. As we say, god gave us one mouth and two ears so try to use them in that proportion. Most people think a salesperson is some silver tonged devil that tricks people into saying yes when they really want to say no. The opposite is true. The client will tell you what they want if you just ask the right questions and shut up.

  24. This article is the rules and frame to adhere to when talking to other smart people…logical people. Read…mostly other men. “Machiavellian Game” on this site and “How to be a Good Clown” by Roosh is the framework to adhere to when trying to interest/pickup women.
    For expounding on this article regarding general rules of good conversation, reviewing the maxims of Baltasar Gracan is quite enlightening.

  25. I dunno, most conversations I have with people my age or younger contains some kind of snark or self-righteousness in order to prove a point, instead of just saying what they want. Nation of teenage girls, man.

  26. “Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it’s necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?” -Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction
    That scene and that line has always resonated with me because it holds so much truth. The only reason people feel that silences are “awkward” is because we’ve been socially conditioned to think that way, which is absolutely idiotic. Sometimes the sweetest moments are the ones spent in silence.

    1. Oops – I just posted the same thing following the Jules Winnfield photo before seeing your post. Guess we’re on the same page on that one. Good on ya!
      Solid article.

  27. There’s a simple solution to this, when finding your cohort of male friends, just keep guys in your inner-circle who are like minded and/or are good conversationalists. I could care less meeting a boring joe in the workplace or street and having a minute’s worth of meaningless pablum. When it comes to the opposite sex, I look at this as a trade-off, an evening full of meaningless bullshit, smiles, alcohol and seducing for the coitus. I hope the premise of the article is not to find meaning in conversations with women, lol, the fuck. Our sole purpose as the males in this species is to fight, fuck and breed. We are not evolved to seek “meaning” from relationships with women or young children. Philosophical conversations and other meaningful dialogue as the Greeks once knew, can only be something discussed among the more rational beings called men. Guys if you’re honestly seeking meaning from a conversation with a 21 year old millennial, that is fucking hilarious. Just accept her for what she is. Even still, men of yesteryear didn’t seek the company of women or dialogue with them outside of the “basics.” Find your own group of men or posse and shoot the shit and stop bitching.

    1. “Guys if you’re honestly seeking meaning from a conversation with a 21 year old millennial, that is fucking hilarious”
      This is funny because I’m a 21 year old millennial and what you just mentioned is part of the reason I’m pretty much a man of few words. I think it’s because I’ve never had a smartphone before. That and i don’t go out partying. I’ve always bonded with older men more.. men in their 40s 50s and even 60’s. They called me old soul.
      Nowadays though it’s becoming increasingly harder to find like minded people. Especially when you deprogram yourself from the bullshit of society.

  28. If there was ANYTHING I would pay to see end in American conversation, it’s the “uptalk”. Saying otherwise declarative statements as though they were questions, and as though the speaker was seeking validation of their point. It started with upper-middle class white women, who lacked confidence, and spread throughout most of white female culture, and has now found it’s way into men’s speech patterns, ironically INCLUDING THOSE who go onto shows like the Alpha man’s podcast and other similar men’s podcasts.
    I am over 40, so this type of talk is strange to me (although my generation brought us “whatever” and arguably laid the foundations of the overuse of “like”). While I’m on it, the importation of the black no-substance phrase of, “I mean…” to introduce every thought, as though one were being particularly sincere or frank, drive me insane as well.
    Then there is the “middle of the story” use of the word “SO” to start every paragraph of speech by most white men in their 30s….as though you are returning to the campfire from a bathroom break and they have to pick up where they left off…except, IT’s NOT THAT. It’s just a way of making an introductory word with every response like you’ve been trailing the speaker all day getting their thoughts.

  29. Or maybe just talk normally, conversation is always almost a sub concious activity that’s hard wired in humans, the moment you need to apply conscious rules with how to talk to a person
    you come across as socially awkward and creepy.

  30. Pretty interesting article, I feel conversations are so meaningless and really serve no purpose, unless the banter is for personal gain or information….. but every mother fucking family reunion, my uncle asks me if I’m working at the same place. I seriously want to kill him.

  31. Oh my God. This way of relating is so utterly foreign to me. I am grateful to have been born in here in the Baltics. That said, I have also spent a few months in the rular areas of Rockies, and didn’t see the retarded communication culture described above. Yes, people were much more talkative than were I come from and conversation more surface-level at first, but that’s it. Does it vary across the country?

    1. Absolutely, the blabbering moonbat female is a common species. Jabbering about themselves and not coming up for air. Best to excuse yourself to the lou or to refresh your drink. Than again, you might be stuck with this person and have to resort to nuclear backhanded compliments and withering condescending looks.

  32. Truly a lost art – polite conversation. Use to be practiced and cultivated through socializing while learning good manners and how to pour tea. But alas, that was yesterday. I find older British people have this down to fine art.

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