Presumably, many of you found your way to the Manosphere after a particularly crushing failure with a woman. I am no different. Simply put, I closely followed the beta-provider-chump playbook for over a year, sacrificing my individuality and compromising my masculinity for my now ex-girlfriend, only to be rewarded with infidelity. Spending many sleepless nights and much of my time at work searching for guidance on what I may have done wrong eventually led me to Return of Kings.
Never before had I been exposed to such unapologetic, harsh, and raw truth. After reading many articles on this site and others like it, I began to adopt the principles of game, lifestyle, and masculinity into my own life. Being raised in a fairly traditional (by American standards) environment, understanding and applying the lessons I learned here felt natural. I began to approach women, lift weights, neglect my comforts and luxuries, embrace my masculinity, and see the world for what it really is.
Despite a few scattered failures, the results were almost immediate. I felt I had swallowed the Red Pill and was a fledgling alpha male. After a few months of enjoying the path of self-improvement, I completely and utterly regressed. I write this article as a cautionary tale, hoping that anyone who is new to these philosophies will learn from my mistakes.
The Regression
The girl I mentioned earlier, after months of zero contact, reached out to me. Her now ex-boyfriend put her through the same scenario she had put me. My initial reaction was mostly vindication, but a soft spot remained and I attempted to comfort her. It was so easy to fall back into the same patterns and mentality that had set me up for failure before. Even equipped with all the knowledge I gained from RoK, I did almost everything I was not supposed to do. I began texting back immediately, approving and commending everything she did, I even told myself “she’s different.”
The final straw that led to my full regression was when she invited me to spend the weekend of her birthday with her, due to having lost most of her friends in her last breakup. I accepted. What makes this even worse is the fact that I now live over six hundred miles away from her. I know, I can actually feel all of you shaking your head.
Ignoring The Red Pill
I showed up, brought presents, bought her food, drove her all over town, and dedicated every minute to her. I was a sick puppy, desperately seeking her affection. Everything a white-knight, beta-bitch would do, I did. Despite her invitation, I was treated with what felt like polite, yet forced tolerance. She was constantly attached to her phone, rambled endlessly about nothing, and was pretty much a terrible host. I know what you’re wondering, and no, in the two days I spent with her, we did not hook up. I left her home for mine feeling dejected, beaten, and stupid. I was stupid.
In the weekend I spent with her, the advice and principles I learned at RoK were floating around in my head and I willingly rejected them. I told myself over and over that this girl is different; she truly is the one exception. I knew how pathetic I looked, I knew how much I deserved to be chastised, and I knew how much the writers I’ve come to respect would shake their heads at me. I knew all of this and still continued playing the part of the beta. For all my misguided efforts, I spent the homeward six hundred miles with an awful pit in my stomach. I was once again sad, hopeless, and without direction. I gave myself over to the thought that maybe this is the best I could ever hope for in my life. What a shitty existence. I was back to square one.
What I Learned
In my nine-hour drive I ran the full gamut of emotions. I was a mess, until it finally hit me. I had put myself in this situation, I have no one to blame for my current position except myself. The moment I rejected the ugly truth is the moment everything started sucking again. I was still afflicted with an aggressive case of oneitis, and I did nothing to fight it. I put my emotional wellbeing in the hands of someone who had a terrible track record of keeping it intact. In short, I gave myself over to the enemy. Even though I still felt like shit, it was reassuring to know that those feelings were my own doing. I may be an idiot, but at least I still have control over my life. I now realize that my rejection of the red pill is what got me into this sad state.
I never want to feel like that again, and I know you don’t either. If you are relatively new, or are having a hard time agreeing with the philosophies espoused here, I want to help stop you from making the same kind of mistakes I did. Whether you want to dive right into these philosophies, or you are still skeptical of this whole “red pill” thing, there are a few basic truths that will guard you if you adhere to them:
1. Oneitis is a very serious threat to your emotional well-being. Never forget that there are millions of women in the world—odds are very good that many of them are better than the one you’re currently pedestalizing.
2. Self-improvement should be your number one priority. The goal isn’t solely to get laid—the goal is to become a well-rounded, well-adjusted, masculine man. The conquest of one or many women may be part of your journey, but never the destination.
3. Most western women are selfish and do not care about you. Due to being constantly congratulated and praised by white-knights and beta orbiters for having a vagina, they are conditioned to believe they are infallible.
4. Take care of yourself. You cannot count on anyone to fully have your back. Realize that you are one hundred percent in charge of the situations you expose yourself to. When in doubt, err on the side of selfishness.
Keep these truths in the back of your mind in your everyday life. It may all sound bleak, but I believe it is the acceptance of these truths that will actually lead to happiness. These are not lessons you want to learn multiple times.
Read More: 11 Hard Truths I Learned From Taking The Red Pill
Classic oneitis. This is why you should never talk to “her” again. You can’t progress towards an alpha lifestyle if the one you went beta for is in your life.
+1
+100 🙂
Indeed, I cut my ex-wife the fuck out of my life. Soon after we split, she would come to pick up the kids at my business every day and spend a half an hour blabbing with one of my employees (as they had a bit of a ‘friendship’) while I forced smiles and waited for her to fucking leave. I soon instructed her that when she picks up the kids, she is to remain outside in the car and never enter my business again. Heh heh. I talk to her rarely in person or by phone, communicating by email only when necessary. For a while I was being a sucker, feeling sorry for her, and helping her out with man-chore things around her (formerly ‘our’) house, then I smartened the fuck up and said, “Your house, your problems.” She expected me to be some pandering ex-husband who would help her out in any way she needed. Other than the agreed-to child support, she can kiss my shiny metal ass!
good article… been there…. done that…. there’s no harm in treating a girl well occasionally, but you have to treat her badly with humor at the same time, and get your leg over as fast as possible… no excuses…. if you have to push her up against the wall and tear her panties off… set the scene first and then do it in the nicest possible way……
You got what you deserved. Now, never do that shit again.
Go further, block her number from your mobile. She’s dead to you now.
Heh, i just deleted all logs and contact info on my phone of my situation. that way there isn’t a temptation to ever call or text her again.
http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/d-rooooooooop.gif?w=650
Basically.
Hell yes and another thing: Where the fuck were his worthless, sack of shit friends? If my friends knew I was going on a 1200 + mile road trip (solo) to chauffeur my ex- around town they would have hid the keys.
You actually have worthwhile male friends? Not an insult btw, I just can’t rely on most men to have my back these days, too wrapped up in being slaves to the feminine imperative.
Yeah but they’re mostly from childhood. It’s near impossible to find masculine (or trustworthy) comrades after the age of 21.
Every man has his own path to walk. Others can occasionally walk on your path but they only do so temporarily, sometimes because your paths converge, sometimes as a short cut. Enjoy their company but don’t expect them to walk your path all the way. -Jack Hammer
Friends don’t let friends drive while Beta
This PSA is sponsored by RoK.
yeah really, your modern day “bro” will be sexting your ex trying to fuck her after he hears about your shame and failure with her
As they say in England, you know who your mates are.
You won’t have many but you will have them. That said, if I knew you were going on a round trip to Hell and back in a gasoline bomber I’d let you do it. Experience is a cruel but effective teacher and I have learned that most people aren’t interested in advice good or bad.
I have had “bros” like that. But they are easily identified and held outside the circle of trust. Cos some of you bros are bitches too!
fuckin a
There’s really nothing worse for a guy than being used as a girl’s emotional tampon, especially if she is your ex/past lover. Most of us have been there and its the equivalent of a guy calling his ex over for his friends to run a train on her. It means that you are now on the same level to her as her girlfriends, sister, mother, father, etc. and all sexual/physical attraction is gone. Now she just wants to see how much she can control you to boost her fragile, insatiable ego.
It will never end; I did this with my ex before I took the red pill a few years ago and everytime anything unfortunate happened in her life, she was blowing my phone up. “My grandmother is in the hospital”….”I think I just failed that test”….”My parents are getting a divorce”….on and on and on. She eventually ended up in a mental hospital for 3 weeks with borderline personality disorder. (most American females have some type of personality disorder). The more you put up with it the more emotional baggage she will dump on you and try to humiliate you for her own amusement. It seems evil because it is. Thats how women are and they have no plans on changing so learn from this and move the fuck on.
I was one of these dopes too, but now I have seen the light. its not only women I apply it too either
We learn best from our failures, not our successes.
A wise man once told me “making a mistake isn’t the only way to learn not to make the mistake.” Which is a fancy way of saying ‘if it sounds like a bad idea, it’s probably a bad idea.’
ex 1.
Lets assume some chick wanted to kick you in the dick. Would you really need her to kick your dick to know letting someone kick you in the dick is a bad idea?
ex 2.
If a chick had kick you in the dick once before, would you really need her to kick you once more to confirm that you didn’t like being kicked in the dick the first time?
I think the latter example is more applicable to @eeDubbs as he already had one failed relationship with the story’s antagonist to begin with. He should have known better.
Success comes from (sometimes repeated) failure. Learn and grow from this failure.
Atleast you seem to have learned your lesson, time will tell. Some men do this their whole lives, giving in to the whim of “the one” whenever she feels like coming back around. There should be ZERO contact with a female after she fucks you over like that, she doesn’t deserve it
+1
Absolute zero contact. And stick to that, no matter what. Literally, if she, or her innocent children, are laying in the street bleeding to death, move on without even giving it a thought. Until that lucky day, steel yourself to be able to act that unaffected.
If there is even the slightest crack in your convictions, those who wish to use you for something will keep upping their game until you crack. Steel yourself to be nihilistic enough to make sure they are dead, literally, before you care enough to anything for them.
The society we currently live in, is one where nice guys finish last. The only way to reverse that, is for nice guys to grow cognizant of that, and respond by being even less nice than the run of the mill assholes out culture promotes. If someone cheats on you, do what you can within the law to make them infinitely more miserable than they made you. No act is too vile. No fate is too horrible for them. They are, after all, much less worthy of sympathy than some random mosquito that you would squash without concern. IOW, as long as our culture exalts scum, agree and amplify.
Exactly . I believe in the theory “the best revenge is success”. I’ve only had one woman cheat on me ( as far as I know lol). I immediately cut her off completely, and ignored all of her countless apologies texts and calls.
A couple weeks later I saw her out at a bar. I had a younger girl on my arm, that looked MUCH better than her. My mental snapshot of her facial expression is literally one of my “Happy Places” lol. And of course she texted me that night wanting to get back with me. Ignored her again. That’s the only way to get over this kind of situation
That’s awesome. It’s a very gratifying feeling.
Congratulations. You are the “one who got away.”
Serves that bitch right.
Nice!
Had a few of these….the key is to remove yourself emotionally. If you still want to enjoy her physically, then do that. When you drove 600 miles she should have been on the bed on all fours asking to be hit in both holes; not conversation and walks along the beach. Fuck that shit!
Exes are for indiscriminate, no strings sex. I have an ex always texting, she lives an hour away….my responses are always sex oriented, I truly don’t give a fuck about her life. If she balks, so be it…there are millions of other women. The friendzone is for faggots, manginas and white knights
This is really great advice for OP and for all.
I went to an event with my ex recently… she’s a single mom now, and I’m a respectable professional. I’m great arm candy for when she wants to look classy. Ask me if I got laid though. Nope. Weird though, I’ve been oneitising over her for 13 years. I’ve banged 34 chicks since then, but I always want her.
I feel OP pretty hard. I still wish her bastard child was mine. She has great genetics, and her carefree attitude, even though it gets her in all kinds of bullshit, is rejuvenating and is so unlike the ‘professional’ women I work with all the time.
“She has great genetics”
You’ll only get over her if you find equivalent or better. You could also just erase her from your life, time will take care of it.
What’s the point of being arm “candy” if she ain’t putting you in her mouth and doesn’t even want a taste?
your the last option. right now you’re technically an orbiter and when her huge well runs dry, she knows that she still has your balls and wallet… yo should be super careful now that she’s a single mum!
PLEASE re-read the article above.
Then do it AGAIN several times until you become a real man instead of a cuckolded mangina.
If you haven’t copyrighted that phrase I would do so ASAP.
The quality of your sex life is inversely proportional to the number of girl friends you have at any given time. Family included.
Typically, girls that friendzone a guy lied to them repeatedly through feigning interest. A guy should reject the friendzone for one key reason: friends don’t lie to you.
Agreed. I never understood the guys I knew who were okay with being in the friendzone.
If a girl digs you, she’ll put out faster than a single mother. If she’s on the fence, she’s providing you with a (very) small window of opportunity to present a stronger value proposition.
If you can’t close in less than a week, most likely she feels you have nothing to offer her because you don’t or you couldn’t convince her you do. End of story.
Further, if a man is okay with being friendzone-ed for longer than a week, most likely he’s desperate, delusional or in denial. Three things a man should never be.
With that said, if any man ends up in a plutonic relationship with a single woman, whom he would like to fuck and the only reason he hasn’t fucked is because she won’t allow it, FUCK THAT SHIT with a long dick, You should have bailed yesterday.
You keep your dignity and increase your chances of actually fucking her. Why wait around for some chick to like you? Be a man, not her homegirl.
well said.
The key is to establish this ahead of time. Dirty talk and future projection. Build up the sexual tension. But only if you plan on heading towards her neck of the woods for a prior engagement. Never book a field trip just to see a girl. I’ve been tempted to go 1000s of miles to other countries to visit girls. Don’t take the bait.
Billions not millions. Pussy like diamonds are not a rare commodity. They are artificialy kept off the market to jack up the price. Don’t buy it.
^^^^^^
THIS!
Had you done that to a Chinese woman, you’d be married by now.
haha
I don’t know if someone can “become” an alpha. I believe people (I) have a range of emotions and I at times can be as sadistic and indifferent as the average sociopath and other times I am needy and approval-seeking with my mate. The trick for me is recognizing those beta qualities and actions before they become a pattern and correcting them before you lose your girl and your sanity.
Maybe there are people who trend more towards the alpha-all-the-time side of the spectrum but I don’t think that person would function very well in modern society or a relationship. I blame modern society with its feminism and white knights equally for this.
eeDubbs- I know how it feels to be betrayed by someone who you trusted and it is very easy (the low road always is) to let yourself feel that way again. 600 miles each direction and a contemptuous weekend is good corrective medicine, and it is a lot cheaper than alimony and child support. Best of luck in the future. She will probably keep trying to talk to you and it will always have an effect on you. Learn to deal with it however you want- as long as you want to never talk to her.
“I don’t know if someone can “become” an alpha”
what do you think the army does when it trains leaders ?
of course someone can become more assertive, more in control, less emotionally dependent,
don’t confuse the alpha tag, with the insecure drunk hockey player type, that shouts out of car windows at women… that’s a kind of alpha behavior, but it’s a mask….
I know the difference-let me elaborate. I think the spectrum from beta to alpha is more of a continuum and not a black and white operation. You can improve your body and change your mindset but you don’t wake up one day and say “welp, I’m an alpha now.” The military can do those things to people, but I would never say that military leaders are all alphas. Remember Petraeus and the thousands of emails he was sending? 4-Star Petraeus was arguably the most powerful military man in the world and he was a pathetic beta for Paula Broadwell. I understand that you may label Petraeus a red herring, or you may think that running around on his wife is alpha but I think he re-aappropriated his one-itis.
“…I would never say that military leaders are all alphas.”
I agree. I’ve served under my fair share of empowered betas (a la Frank Burns)!
just because a man is on top of his game professionally doesn’t mean he is any good with women….. Petraeus was also an older generation.
Being in the military doesn’t make someone alpha, it means they can probably read… probably.
Being in the military breads some Beta males. The “yes, sir” translates into their civilian life as “yes, baby, whatever you want,” with their hands behind their backs or standing at the position of attention.
Correct!The biggest pussy whooped SIMPs are current and former military.
I would love some military training without the power trip of so-called “superiors” “you have to know how to take orders to give orders”, yeah, but please, let´s get to the useful stuff.
Thanks for having the nerve to write this piece. I especially like your point #4:
“Take care of yourself. You cannot count on anyone to fully have your
back. Realize that you are one hundred percent in charge of the
situations you expose yourself to. When in doubt, err on the side of
selfishness.”
That’s a key aspect of MGTOW: make your own choices, set your own direction. Do not sleepwalk or be carelessly drawn, tricked, guilted, or otherwise manipulated into situations in which you are not in control. Step back, and clear your head by asking yourself larger questions like “What is actually going on here?”, and “Why am I doing this?”.
Looked at that way, a MGTOW’s “selfishness” is actually better for everyone. Better for him at the moment, for his long-term goals, for the good woman he ends up with instead (if that’s what he wants) and his eventual family, for other men who learn from the example, and better for a woman who discovers good men won’t stand for her shit tests.
I’m not suggesting this particular woman would have learned anything if you had turned her down. Her hamster and the sisterhood would join forces to make sure she continues on her entitled way toward the wall and spinsterhood oblivion. But so what. That’s not your problem anymore, and that’s a VERY important outcome for you.
Amen! MGTOW all the way!
I like your expression of the philosophy of what MGTOW is — kind of like an “enlightened selfishness”. I’m not consciously aware of anyone presenting it this way before, but it fits my own idea of what MGTOW should be.
It also reminds me of what John Galt’s own personal philosophy is, as expressed (by his character) in Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged”.
Thanks for your reply. I put “selfishness” in quotes because it is in fact “self-valuing”. As I see it, the true MGTOW says to himself:
— I have value as a man and a human being.
— My goals are important to me and to others.
— My time, and my capacity for hard work, are too important to waste.
— I do not allow myself or the life I am creating for myself to be misdirected, exploited, abused, or derailed.
— Anyone I spend considerable time with, man or woman, must also be a worthwhile, constructive person.
— With a clear conscience, I avoid and walk away from people and situations that interfere with my life and purposes.
Whenever I feel too comfortable in a relationship I come back to the source for a refresher course.
“I have no one to blame for my current position except myself.”
Not completely. When all you have around you is a plethora of narcissistic, self-righteous cunts, each one of them being more entitled than the next, and the situation only being exacerbated by sycophantic, servile white knight manginas who are enabling them even as we speak…..
It is not entirely your fault. Much of it has to do with the ill-disposed environment.
We must always strive to avoid self-deprecation. Not always, everything is “our fault”.
Good article, by the way.
Here’s what will happen next. A few weeks will go by. Then she will text you and want you to drive out there again. Text her back no thanks or ignore. Then she will text you again. If you want, text her back and tell her to come see you at her expense. Make it abundantly clear that when she shows up you expect sex.
Sorry, I have to disagree. This girl has more than established what she wants from him: to use him as an emotional tampon while she sorts out whatever shit is spinning in her hamster brain. He should not answer texts or agree to see her anywhere under any circumstances whatsoever, regardless of what she says. If he answers her or allows her to visit she will have even less respect for him than she has now, which is already at zero.
He should have nexted that whore long ago, which is what he forgot he learned in the first place. Keep that red pill down at all costs, don’t puke it up for an ex or anyone. That’s what I took to be the whole point of this article.
Good reminders on the dangers of oneitis. I never believed in “soul mates” even before discovering ROK and other likeminded sites. It’s nice to finally see other men coming around to the idea. Also great point on self improvement-this is key in a man’s life. Too many men put women on pedestals and give up their own goals just to appease what is always a moving target. Focus on self and the girls will come to you.
One of the sluttiest girls I know talks about “soul mates”… I’m always left thinking… Whu???
Soulmate = free slave
The notion of ‘soul mates’ sets one up for failure, as nobody will ever be good enough to become the unattainable ‘soulmate’ you’ve idealized. Besides, souls are solitary, bumping into each other only occasionally while occupying various bodies in various worlds.
This is reminding me of an OSHO quote.
Don’t see things as a relationship, rather a relation of two individuals meeting, and i believe he either said “temporarily” or “indefinitely.”
OSHO is definitely the philosopher for the manosphere, especially ROK
I had to google Osho. Interesting.
That’s deep thoughts man-i dig it. We meet alot of souls during our time on earth, some stick around longer than others but nothing is ever permanent.
You never know, male and female souls may be different. Male souls may be destined to wander the universe alone, while female souls may cluster together like Borg. Maybe male souls spread throughout an infinite universe like sperm, while female souls cluster together in some orb egg.
Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgement. Don’t feel bad- you learned and you won’t repeat the same mistake again.
Everyone makes mistakes, the key is learning from them .
AGREED IN SPADES!! The important part is to learn from them AND NOT repeat them!
I appreciate this article.
I understand the whole maintain frame (i.e. sound alpha) thing going on in androsphere threads but I appreciate that we can acknowledge once in a while that we’re fuckin human; that the desire to actually care about a woman is something we have at least at one point had in common…
Every time I’ve helped out my cheating ex when she has been caught in a serious bind I’ve received nothing back but more humiliation… Like clockwork…. I think this stands especially for girls who cheat on you… I’m still friends with some ex-lovers but girls that cheat on you are useless to keep around unless you have some kind of strategic master-plan or something.
Needless to say, I’ve cut her out completely despite her wanting things to “be good between us”. Bullshit.
You did what most men do out of a fear of “scarcity.”
It’s the number one cause. I’ve seen too many men do it, including myself. The advice to spin plates should be tattooed to your brain, it’s the great equalizer. You can’t half-ass it though, you need to truly have worthwhile options, not just fugly chicks you’re fucking on the down-low.
When you don’t have options (whether real or perceived) you will tend to ignore red flags, lower standards, put up with bad behavior, idealize any chick that gives you attention, etc.
I found the manosphere after witnessing some social justice blogs shrieking about it. Never change guys, never change.
Look man, it makes sense. It can be difficult to eschew old habits. Just an hour ago a girl that I liked but normally wouldn’t-she smokes, she acts an ass when she’s drunk, and she’s kinda fat-told me she wasn’t interested after I tried asking her out again. Really, it was nothing more than a repeat of when I had a “damaged girl phase” nearly 10 years ago at 15. Only this time, I tried to apply what I learned here to her. It’s better this way because I can apply more principles I learned from here;
-Never have oneitis (or “always keep two bones in a bowl”-look up “How Men Become Dogs” on YouTube)
-It’s her loss, not yours
-Stay positive. When I see her later I’m acting like nothing ever happened.
-Self improvement is more important than a woman, always. As well as money.
-My self worth is not determined by a woman’s approval or attraction to me.
-Finally, it’s not her fault. She just did what most women do (lie and string along) so no use getting hung up over it. There are way prettier girls out there who know a good thing when they catch one.
With these things I feel I’m dealing with this much better than my teenage self would have. But we all need a little reminder. So did you. And that’s why you needed to post this on here, for those that needed a reminder including myself.
Great article. Most of us have slipped up. We know what we should be doing, but it’s hard to permanently rewire old habits. I admit that I have met girls that I genuinely believed wanted the provider game. While there may be a select few out there, always start with the standard stuff you have learned from the manosphere and improvise from there. The chances of you meeting a girl that is “different” is too slim.
This is an equation I must deduce from.
Now I am wondering if all these horrible women we so talk about leave men on the basis of being Beta, is it due to the possibility that these types of women are just broken themselves?
I believe in the laws of attraction, and if we believe that all there is out there is sluts who have no morals, etc. then that is all we are going to find. I do recall one post on ROK talking about how there are still a few women out there who are totally opposite to the many women we talk shit about on here, but they are still few and far in between.
I mean, is this true? That majority (at least 75% of Westernized Women) are broken? If so, I would prefer to be single for the rest of my life. Because, to want to get married to something like that would be misery. I would rather stay single, fuck women, and if I am too old or undesirable to other women, then i’ll resort to buddhism. Because like one ROK post talked about Self Reliance – I believe that happiness comes from within and not from the other. I will continue to live my life happy just being alone, meditating, traveling, and doing the things I love. Which is like another post on ROK stated that a man’s sexual prime dwindles in his 40s, and his philosophical prime is from 50 to 70s.
I am content with that.
Oh, and by the way, I am very interested in how many of the men who either write posts or comments on here are within the ages of 18 to 26? Because I would love to read more perspectives on men who are in their 40s and up. I know that every decade of a man is a new milestone of philosophies, thoughts and actions.
I love ROK, and I get it – you can’t be a BETA bitch (many examples to list of how you can be one or avoid being one) and to love and care about yourself FIRST. But I get very skeptical with certain points that are made and from whom.
The whole civilization is broken. You deal with whom you can.
I do recall one post on ROK talking about how there are still a few women out there who are totally opposite to the many women we talk shit about on here, but they are still few and far in between.
=======================================
There is a 2 part problem; first, as corvinus correctly points out, the civilization is broken. We have an epidemic of “you go girl!-ism” and a generation of women who were raised on the bullshit that was “Sex and the City”, which taught women they could be total whores with no domestic skills but lots of piled up credit card debt and some studly millionaire would show up three days after they turned 37 to plead for her hand and access to her dinged-up, high mileage twat, and be grateful for it. A foreign woman I know told me, point blank, that in her (correct) view, no single tv show has done more to damage the culture and relations b/w men and women than that one.
Except those girls who bought into that got mugged by reality (the ones who aren’t still in denial) and are well on their way to a modest (at best) one bedroom flat and the companionship of 37 cats.
Problem number two? The fatties. There may well be a number of good, dedicated, man-friendly women among the fatties, but we’ll never find them, because they’re buried under tons of blubber, and apparently the fatties never got the memo about how, no matter what bullshit they’re fed in the media about “real beauty”, men dig young, attractive, slender, fertile women. Not fatties.* With the epidemic of obesity in America, there are so many fatties that they skew the numbers. So basically all the men are now competing for the remaining slender/fit women. And among those you have to sort through and discard the ones that have internalized leftoid/feminist propaganda that’s turning the nation into a bunch of entitled children.
And that, dear boy, is the Cold, Hard Truth.
À bientôt,
Mistral
*I will say that when I see a fat chick out jogging or at the gym I offer encouragement (although not enough that she thinks I’m interested, until she gets un-fat), because at least that fat chick is trying to fight back.
I also share your skepticism about certain issues and I’m only 26 so I have realized that I may not be able to have a real grasp on them until I have more experience with women (probably mid 30’s). A person’s personality is determined by two things: their basic, primal, instinctual design, and what they learn from their society (parents, media, etc.). This site rushes to blame their infidelity and lack of intimacy on the fact they despice betas, and I think this is true but its much deeper than that.
My opinion, from the girls I have met, is that they are incapable of loving ANYONE else because they dont love themselves. It wasnt until my latest ex was admitted to a mental hospital for 3 weeks and diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, that I started to look into the psychological damage this society does on people. Due to her low self esteem and self worth, its difficult and almost impossible for her to feel empathy and take anyone elses feeling into account. I then began to think “Do I know any women with high self esteem?” The answer was of course no. So if none of them have self esteem how could they love even the alpha-est of alphas? I have a hard time believing that this low self esteem is instinctual so it is being taught to them somewhere in our society.
None of the girls who have hurt me, showed any compassion or kindness for any of the people in their lives, including their mother and father. They never compliment anyone and never try to make anyone else’s life better. . I mean imagine growing up as an attractive, white, American female. They think they are the queens of this world; they even go to Africa in the preteens to “help” them, as if being a white girl qualifies them to assist someone else in their life. This attitude gets translated to everyone they have relationships with. She can do no wrong, therefore she is above morality. This is classic narcissistic behavior:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
The symptoms of this disorder desribes 90% of Western women. This materialistic, capitalistic, superficial culture wants to suck the soul out of all of us, it just seems like they get to women alot younger than us. Look at most men after the age of 30 here in America. They have spent their entire life trying to earn some unattainable status and when they find out the system is a vampire they give up, start drinking alot and ride it out. I plan to go to Europe/South America when I finish grad school and never look back at America.
i agree with what you are saying. I have recently discovered ROK after dealing for 2 years with a narcissistic, borderline single mother who divorced her husband because she was not happy. You are right. they can’t feel anything. they are children in adult’s body. My crazy ex had absolutely no empathy. she didnt give a shit about the damages and destruction she created around her. Even her children were secondary to her selfish needs.
When she was with me, she ended up in hospital on more than one occasions because she passed out plus many episode of self harming. I lived in hell for two years; i increased weight, lost hair, i still have nightmares.
Wow, that is HORRIFYING
sorry to hear that
DO NOT RECYCLE
Digesting the red pill means seeing the women you used to have oneitis for as the self-serving women they were to you.
As I was telling a young man I know recently (<18 years old)… *NEVER* give your attention away to a woman for free, never never never. Women want this, they crave this, they know that as long as they hold a man’s attention, nothing bad can happen to them, and lots of good things can come to them from it. So never never never give it away for free, always demand some form of payment. It doesn’t have to be sex. It can be baking for you. It can be giving you gifts. Women can be creative in repayment (most aren’t), but they should be forced to bargain with you for what they want, instead of simply having it gifted to them.
I like this right here.
Do you mind telling me how old you are?
I like to read perspectives from men of various ages. It’s always interesting to see their take on things.
Thank you for this post. I was just thinking about this today and yesterday. I have been hitting on many women this summer, and I started realizing the following: I am the one doing all the work, and for essentially no pay.
In modern times, girls do not have to reciprocate love. They just sit there like a sponge, and the man takes all the risk and does all the work. I go hard to get women, but I end up feeling no warmth from them.
I wish that the women would put a little effort into pleasing ME, for a change. Not gonna happen in America, though.
Hitting on them isn’t what I would call giving attention for free. It’s an opening offering, but it’s not the same as simply being a source for no gain. If you get no reciprocation at all, drop her.
Nice article. It really puts into perspective how it’s almost impossible to repair relationships, especially with women. Once a woman loses respect for you, it is almost impossible to get her to regain it. Once you get friendzoned, it’s impossible to get out of that zone and so you might as well not even waste time with the same woman, just move on and find a new one.
I’m meeting my ex, my oneitis this Saturday. This was a good preptalk to me! Thanks man
what for? depending on what for, you probably shouldn’t.
I second that. If you’re not 99% positive you’ll see panties and she’s not giving you money, it sounds like a waste of time.
Ah seen it, heard it, too many times to count from other people around me. I mean this in the most edifying way possible.
YOU FUCKIN FAIRY.
huh?
Just don´t. When an ex wants to meet is basically to see that you are not doing great without her. If that´s the case, she wins, and if you are truly doing great…why bother?, let her wonder, or better yet, let her find out from others. Don´t even reply. Focus on yourself and yourself alone.
Yea I suppose you’re right, but it was I who asked for a meeting. I failed in that part, but I really have “stuff in the basement” as Rocky Balboa said it. I just have to meet her and try again even if I know it’s lowering my game and possibly I’d end up in a relationship and my game would totally get ruined.
However, if she ruins me again, I’ll get so heartbroken that I’ll continue gaming even harder, just like I learned game 3 years ago.
Not worth it.
Do yourself a favor, and be a no-show. Block her number from her cellphone.
Yes now that so many have given me advice, I have to tell you how the meeting went.
We
sat 2 hours talking, we had great moments and we remembered great
things and how we changed to better people. She mentioned subliminally
to me that she is still with her boyfriend and they live in her 240sqft
apartment together.
I lost again and now I am out there gaming.
Had a girl I picked up yesterday in my apartment. Faced some LMR but I
licked her tits and made out with her so I am pretty fine for a start…
New ones coming right up!
“She mentioned subliminally to me that she is still with her boyfriend and they live in her 240sqft
apartment together.”
You should have turned it round on her by half-playfully asking that if they still were together, should she really be really out there with you and that WHY would she be so inconsiderate of that boyfriend?
Hah that’s true!
I bet she can’t get enough of me but she’s in some unhealthy denial…
“she can’t get enough of me”
Well that may or may not be true. The point here is to get the last laugh. To taunt her in a manner which makes it awkward for her.
Brilliant article, and so very true. the most effective and long-lasting lessons you will learn are those learned through just being on the receiving end of a stick of brutality….and this one was pretty brutal especially because it was his former paramour. when you think about it though you truly aren’t back at square one if you have learned your lesson.
The firs thing a man must realize is once a relationship is over, IT IS OVER.
There is no point returning to an-ex, and even if you do, keep it only for SEX.
I’ve been in the same position. I outright blackmail my exes. I ask her, ” So I want you to provide me anal, if you want me to come over”. Or ” I want you to suck me off like a champ”. Keep things SEXUAL ONLY! Once the relationship is over, you are friend zoned forever. And you will be like that, unless you outright demand sex. If you don’t, you won’t get poon. You must ask for sex, all the time, you interact with your ex.
Let her think you’re a jerk or an asshole. Let her think you think of her as a sex object, and make her prove herself to you sexually if she wants you back. Don’t try to buy sex by giving her affection. Like all selfish creatures, she’ll enjoy herself to your gifts and then roll her eyes to get you off her back. So be a lecherous prick. You don’t have to conceal your intentions to her. Atleast she’ll think you’re a lecherous asshole. Instead of a gay one.
I’m not sure what’s worse: to be a white-knighting beta, or to be so cravenly devoid of self-respect as to demand sexual favors in this way. I don’t know why some guys place sex so high on the priority list, that they feel they have come out on top if they get the girl to give it up. It is possible for both of you to lose the game, you know.
I couldn’t continue reading this after the first paragraph of “Regression”. It made me cringe so much because we have all been there. But it’s something you must do I guess… most importantly to analyze (lol) the situation, your feelings, actions, reactions and responses so that you can apply that knowledge and back up what you’ve learned of the truth with real, hard experience so that you can be better prepared in the future with a scar as a reminder not to be stupid.
i can understand the author here……I can only cum with girls i have ‘feelings’ for. (tough gig i know)
As someone whose taken the red pill, i can’t just masturbate in a womans vagina on a one night stand. Game gets them, but feelings need to be allowed to take over. this takes time and the girl needs to be pretty much ‘perfect’. no daddy issues, slutty yet caring, good personality, not a fucking moron. (not many of those around so my game needs to be good) There’s a lot of moving parts there which lead me back to ex’es from time to time. i can understand.
You won’t recognize yourself in a year, probably several years in a row, and yet you will recognize yourself more than ever. Seeing what women do in fact makes all the difference to what conditioning you are recieving. The bitches will teach you red pill just as hard a blue. The difference is your interpretation. You can never go back, though the blue pill never is excised except assiduously and incrementally. There shit does stink. Q.E.D.
Yeah red pill definitely allows me to be more picky in mate selection….and has given me a bit more control over my sexuality……there’s a certain neediness i have because i can only cum with girls i have feelings for and in my blue pill days girls would pick up on it and use it to their advantage. (basically i was a pussy begger) it’s still not ideal having women in control of my sexuality, but thems the cards i’ve been dealt. red pill helps fo sure
Traveled 600 miles to see her. You should have told her that you have a couple of exes in the area, and that you’ll be leaving for a month long trip to Brazil from the nearby airport after you visit her. Then, ask her if she has been gaining weight, since she looks a bit larger since you last saw her.
yep, although not as bluntly hehe. +1
Say that you a meeting with this certain lady that just have to be present for, and fake regret that is detect-ably fake. Then end the conversation before she can probe any more.
“Certain lady” and “meeting” are bound to make her wonder exactly what ? Date or business (read hamster). And the fact that you place more importance to another woman than her is sure to be a punch to the gut
She invited you over to fuck. Instead, you fucked up lol. All things considered, you got off fucking lightly at a long drive and a few bucks.
We need an article on how to effectively swallow the Red Pill. Learning the Rules is just the first step out of the Matrix.
I enjoyed this article. It was honest and refreshing. And I can relate. Some of the greatest lessons I’ve learned have been post red-pill, because I was immediately able to change my ways rather than stew in misery for weeks. I dated a girl a few months back who ended things rather abruptly; I realized that even though my game was pretty solid overall, my kino game sucked. I had opportunities to up the ante physically and I did not take them. And she bailed. I knew better.
As long as we can self-reflect on our failures, and improve upon them, they are mere stepping blocks on the path to greater pastures. And change I did. A short while after that break up, I cranked up my a-hole/caveman game and had the next girl in bed by date 2. Lesson learned. Previous mistakes will not be repeated.
That was way overboard, but it could happen to lots of guys. Earlier this evening, my current chic sends me a text complaining about her job and life. I don’t like feeling any of my friends are down, and I was primed from just leaving the gym, so I sent her a kind and motivational response. Guess what, haven’t heard from her since. Been nailin it for a couple months, so I am not concerned, but I should have told her to suck it up, cause I need her to get me that paper. I’m certain, she will still be on my dick for a while, but i would have enjoyed a bj tonight. My slide back to nice guy prevented this. Now, I have to go mia, until she forgets about this beta move, and gets ahold of me.
But did you really believe the motivational response you sent her would help her? You can give a woman the best advice in the world but she will never, ever take it, simply because you’re a man.
Truth.
she ended up hitting me up shortly after this, so that move was forgotten. An older guy I’m friends with, gave some great advice a few years back. “Women are like tile floors, lay it right the first time, and you can walk all over em’.” There has been no better advice that I have ever received.
Yeah…I’m a doc. My GF at the time had this huge gash on her elbow because she crashed her mountain bike ( she was a maniacal cyclist). So I suture her elbow. I tell her she can’t fucking move her elbow alot cause she will stress the sutures and the wound will open up again. She goes right back to hard core mountain biking the next day and the wound splits open and has to heal over several weeks leaving a giant scar. She gets her hip replaced due to premature arthritis cause she’s a fanatic athlete. She completely defies the orthopedists orders and starts workouts and mtn biking again within just a few weeks of her surgery. Her hip dislocates and she has to get it popped back in . I now realize that she didn’t follow our MEDICAL advice because we were men. Her fucking chick trainer sez to eat 4.1 grams of fat she would follow her to the letter. Women do not like competent men and do not take advice from them…..
Have you tried telling her to NOT put a loaded .45 automatic between her eyes and NOT pull the trigger?
Had I said “hey don’t rub shit in your wound , she would have rubbed shit in her wound”…
Totally defiant….
With all due respect, I disagree with that. It’s the way you give advice to women. In fact, you only give advice to men, and you give orders to women.
Women don’t listen to logic but to commands. You can give the stupidest order to a woman, but if you’re sure and authoritative, she will follow it. You can lay out the smartest and most logical advice ever constructed on earth, but if you don’t have certainty, confidence and authority behind it, she will not listen.
I’ll agree that western women are raised to be combative, which makes it harder, but not impossible.
Yep. Likely you are right. I just didn’t think I had to be General Patton to an adult , college educated female. I didn’t think I had to play some domineering role or be “the clown ” as Roosh has said. I thought an intelligent women would take advice without drama from a board certified ER doc WHO WAS HER BOYFRIEND!! I just assumed she would take advice like any sane adult would. Looking back I think it was her being petty and
and disrespectful. From now on it’s my way or the highway.
Good thing I found this site now at 15. So much useful advice in life and girls. Thanks Roosh and RoK writers!
You’re luckier than most males.
Godspeed, young man.
Indeed! I took the Red Pill at 44! I am so supremely glad I did! (and it was really painful to acknowledge all my foolishness).
Good for you, I got over my mangina act at 21 after I flubbed my first two ‘relationships’ in college. Now I screw younger, hotter, better chicks with half the effort and NONE of the neutered poodle ‘commitment’.
God, you are so lucky
But I will always think nostalgically of my romantic idiocy
Ages 12-24
Before swallowing one giant horse-tranqualizer of a redpill
Props though to the dudes in 40s and 50s that take it instead of just
sheepishly turning their head away
gotta look this in the eye even if it’s dark, dark, so dark
Godspeed!
I bet she was white. Guys, asian girls are so much better. I realized that their attitude makes them so much more desirable. Met one a month ago and there have been no shit tests, no games, she was ridiculously tight and she treats me like the only dude in the world… whether we are alone or there are people around.
BUT she was raised in China and Japan until she was about 14 or 15… so IDK about asian americans.
If asian american has never left america. Treat her as a white woman.
Sometimes ıts good to know your kryptonıte or weaknesses. I have ONE partıcular “ex” who I must constantly avoıd and would never allow back ınto my lıfe because I KNOW I wıll revert to the “pıllow boy” pussy-ass beta bıtch I once was when I was wıth her. Lıght-skınned black chıck, leather-jacket wearıng tatooed goth-style anarchıst psychopath. She treated me lıke shıt because she knew she could, and I let her. I may fantasıze about ıt but I would never rısk a “revenge fuck” scenarıo because ıt would faıl. No matter how red pıll I get, I fully acknowledge that she know what buttons to push to get me to regress SO I WILL NOT LET HER. She brıngs back GHOSTS. She’s not that hot anymore anyway.
I’ve been there before. I learned the hard way early. As soon as I got out of high school I drove to NC to take a girl with me I knew to Florida. I knew her when she came up around my way for the summer, had a fling, and kept in touch.
I was up for the adventure picked her up from her Ex’s place (bad sign #1), and had some good times. I had money saved up and I found work, etc.
It wasn’t until I got laid off and began to run low on funds that she started to show her true colors. She made excuses on why she couldn’t land a job, began to complain about missing home, and got into more arguments with me.
Now, I grew up on the belief that when it came to deep relationships you try to do everything you could to make things work, be there for that person, blah blah blah. Nice guy + welcome mat pretty much. Long story short I drove her back home, not once, but TWICE. Even her dad advised about finding someone else. This was on trip #1. She got pregnant from cheating while I was away. All that in…5 months. I was 18. Learning the hard way.
Needless to say after that I didn’t do relationships for 6 years. Did my own thing and kept a girl around just for fun and rotated when things got boring. Put some time out overseas too. But thats a different story.
I’m glad I found this place, I was starting to believe that I was alone with going red pill. Besides all the drama that pops up every now and then, this place is a treasure of masculine knowledge.
-Jason
Good job my man. We all slip time to time but emerge form the ashes of our errors a stronger beast.
Good article, by the rules of self improvement, you will always be a appreciating asset; there will always be better women out there. Women have a habit of being a distraction from your goals. If i was still with my last ex, I would hate to think were I would be.
I say the next time some soul sucking broad from 600 miles away wants to spend her birthday with you, tell her to come on over, with wine and food.
Btw, this reminds me, some chick (very attractive, corporate broad), who knew I thought she was attractive, once asked me to fly out to Chicago from DC, to spend the weekend with her and then DRIVE her UHaul truck filled with her worldly possessions back to DC, you know, since she was making me dinner and all.
Never have I received such a preposterous or indecent proposal in all my life.
Except for that one time at band camp…
Men are like Wine, Women are like beer.
Wine becomes more valuable as it ages but it’s easy and cheap when it’s brand new. Beer is best when fresh, but it loses value as it ages… Beer gets skunked quite quickly.
When I read some of the articles on this website, its like seeing everything the voice in the back of my head has been telling me for years, through all manner of woman related failures and more, just written down by another person. Merely knowing it isn’t “just me” is a kind of solace in itself.
Question from a new member trying to take the red pill: Can a real alpha male fall in love with a woman? and in that case what love means to him?
On one hand you have this thing that you cannot control that is “falling in love”. On the other hand what you do control is your interactions with her.
Personally, I have never experienced the former and nor do I expect to. I believe that that is merely social conditioning that tries to rationalize powerful attraction on multiple levels. But thats just my opinion.
And make no mistake. This kind of attraction can be used against you. See history. See what happened even to the greats of the likes of Julius Caesar. Part of his downfall was from his unpopularity stemming from his over-endorsement of Cleopatra. Roman senators rightly perceived it as weakness on his part, as he spent more and more time under her influence and increasingly neglected his statesmanly pursuits. Its a historically proven fact that female hypoagency always tries to bend male hyperagency for its own use. And power attraction on your part all the more makes it easier for her.
I won’t say that I have a lot of experience in these matters, but what is true that I have read and watched sufficient amount of non-fictional work (history, news, evolutionary psychology etc.), observed people around me and read far too many sad stories of men on the net. All I am doing is applying logic to all of that.
And the result I am arriving at indicates that it is far better off that you simply get over any “falling into love” after sufficiently enjoying your partner for sometime. From what experiences, people have shared
Great post man, it takes courage to share this with everyone, but at least you identified what happened and realised what you were doing wrong. Hopefully you never repeat the same mistake again.
All the best
Well I hope submitting this article was cathartic for you. Shoulda been more like this guy: http://elitedaily.com/humor/kid-exchange-hilarious-texts-girl-take-hint-photo/618012/
To err is human, to get up and continue is divine
Good story, eeDubbs. I am sure some of us can lapse sometimes but it serves as a reminder to not stray the path to greatness and learn from our failures along the way.
It doesn’t add up. If you regressed like that and so hard, I don’t think you had absorbed the red pill. I mean, I’ve been “red pill” for years in that I’ve read a lot of the material, forums, work out regularly, but on the other hand I still haven’t figured out how to put together an approach + conversation, so can I really say I’m red pill?
What’s the consensus of taking nonviolent revenge on an ex?
She left me for another dude after almost a decade of my faithful time.
I know my Ex’s Social Security Number and I’m thinking to sell it to an illegal Mexican.
Thoughts?
Don’t do it. Just let it go.
Every second you spend plotting revenge is a second you should be spending plotting your future. She’s not worth the time, effort and risk of detection.
This!
The best revenge is living well.
Improve yourself and move on.
Success is the best revenge. Get a 20 year old hottie under your arm and forget all about your ex, she is getting old anyway.
Great piece. Guys can talk a tough game on the internet – in real life things are much more complicated. There’s no shame in falling off once in a while and it takes guts to tell others when you’ve done so. Props to you for sharing your story and your advice with other men.
That’s true, and painfully so.
All the ideas & talk in the world mean nothing until you have to actually put them into practice. Not easy!
Man does this article hit home for me! I was this guy until I turned 40. I love that I found a bunch of dudes on the internet that just get it and are trying to improve themselves. The below article really resonated with me and I have been reading it daily to get it to sink in.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/brentbeshore/2013/03/26/no-one-cares-about-you-and-thats-great/
The struggle is real!
How about non identification? When you
identify with something or someone, you place your
entire state of well being in their hands.
The best mate for a woman is a man she CAN NOT
manuplate. A man who can function independently
of the woman. Someone she can not “play.”
To attain this state you must uncover your essence,
and face unpleasent facts about yourself.
It’s your ego. It can’t take the rejection and the thought that this chick thinks she is better than you. You know what cures it? Almost instantly? Finding a hotter chick who fucks you 24/7. She is out there.
This ex of yours will reach out to you from now until eternity. She sees you as a comfort blanket for her shattered ego which was shattered by the dude she just dated who dumped her worthless ass. Eventually she will reach out to you and you will see her actions for what they are…. using you. Eventually you’ll even start to take advantage of her actions and toy with her by throwing some beta chum her way and then dogging her by no-showing her on dates etc which will actually hurt her more because she will think interally “This guy who use to lick my ass is now standing me up too….wow I must be really ugly.” It will feel good for a while but even that will lose it’s luster.
And then eventually you’ll be disgusted by her presence because her simple presence will remind you how pathetic you were and how you lost your soul and way with this idiot chick…. and at that point you will finally win. That’s if she gives you the chance. The only way she gives you the chance is if she doesn’t find anyone which is a possibility if she is like every other American woman who turns 33 and can’t find a man…. But know this…if she is getting laid and with a guy ..she will never call you or contact you. The only reason she is contacting you is because she is lonely and depressed.
I’ve been there….we have all been there. In order to succeed you must fail.
Remember that day in your car.
Making a mistake is not a failure, not correcting the mistake is.
“When in doubt, err on the side of selfishness.” #PutThatOnEverything
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Everyone has a failure or 2. The key is to understand the list at the end of the article….especially the comment about self-improvement.
Other lesson – never bother returning to a woman/relationship that you were involved with pre-red-pill. You will instantly fall back into the old patterns.
I appreciate a man taking the time to use his embarassing & I’m sure somewhat painful experience to benefit others. I appreciate the frank & non-nonsense approach.
Great points you’ve made. Also using your example reminds me/us how breaking away from the old thought processes & conditioning we grew up with is not to be taken lightly when it comes to getting a handle on it.
Man, my personal situation is almost identical to the author’s. However I live in Australia and the ex bitch still lives close by, I went through the same thing with her infidelity and was in the same beta male position until I discovered RoK. Just last week she attempted the EXACT same ploy as the author’s ex did to get me back, however I can proudly say that the raw truths I have come to accept from RoK resonated loudly around my head and prevented the same regression into beta-ness.
You went full beta. Never go full beta.
…or even partial.