Masculinity

3 Things Cosmo Gets Wrong About Relationships With Men Who Own Guns

138 Comments

Cosmopolitan, bastion of feminine and progressive thought, such as it is, recently published an article entitled “It’s Time to Talk About What Guns Have to Do With Dating.” Using the progressive tactic of declaring whatever issue they have with a non-controversial topic to be a “conversation,” and thus worthy of discussion, this hit piece comes with a cute, heart-accented dialogue flow chart of the “conversation” a girl is supposed to have to ensure her beau is not a Bad Man With A Gun.

Replete with a few tear-jerking personal anecdotes and blabbering on for more than double the length of your average ROK article, the author managed to get damn near everything wrong (even the Kimar they used as their title picture is a blanks shooting training gun), but here’s three things they really screwed up.

1. Guns aren’t part of the patriarchy

Citing research showing that men are three times more likely to own a gun than women, the author immediately casts the men as the gun owners, and the women then follow as the victims. Her logic follows that all women need to have the “conversation” with the men they are dating about gun safety, exemplified by hypothetically finding a gun in a sock drawer.

“What the hell are you doing in my sock drawer?” is the only question that this should bring up. However, this subtly leads into the last point, escalating from the neutral “dating” to “boyfriend and girlfriend living together” and shouldn’t someone who is living with you deserve to know about any guns you have? Although the article is titled about dating, even the Narrative understands that you don’t get to try to change a man until you’ve got your claws into his hide in a full relationship, hence the bait and switch.

The interrogative style of their flow chart leads women to probe to see if her man has a gun, if he bought it legally (and passed a background check), if he bought it for some “safe” reason like recreation or tradition or not, and if it is stored locked up or not. Any failure to follow the scripted answer is a “red flag” and will presumably get you dumped, though any girl throwing you shit tests out of Cosmo ought to be kicked to the curb on general principle.

The only answer you ever need to give a girl asking you if you own a gun is “Yeah. Wanna go shooting?” I teach people to shoot as a civic activity, and a lot of them are girls and women. Nothing says equality and true “girl power” like unlocking a skill in a lady that she can rely on for the rest of her life and not have to fear the dark any more. It’s empowering and equalizing for them, breaks them out of the “victim” role, and it’s a hell of a date if you do it right.

More girl power in this picture than that entire magazine.

2. Whether or not your sociopathic lover has a gun doesn’t matter

Black frying pans, just like black rifles, are more evil

A few stories follow the above chart, all designed to show that a woman lost her life because of a gun and, thus, guns are bad and shouldn’t be allowed to men. “How the hell did he get a gun?” is the question the article suggests you ask each time you hear about a woman being killed by her “intimate partner.”

That’s the wrong question. The question you ought to ask is “What made him murder her, and when did he lose the basic respect for human life and others around him that made him think murder was anything other than a heinous, forbidden crime only monsters commit?”

If you have a sociopath for a boyfriend, and he wants to kill you, you’re just as dead if he kills you with a frying pan than with a gun. Whenever someone kills someone else with something other than a gun, it’s a tragedy, but, when it’s with a gun, it’s a call to action to ban them.

This isn’t a logical failing of progressives; it’s not that they hate guns much more than they hate knives, or nooses, or sharp rocks, it’s that they hate what a gun gives its law-abiding owner, which is, of course, freedom from oppression. No other item allows you the ability to back up your independent thought and your publicly articulating it than the ability to deny anyone the courtesy of stopping you.

Yes, it’s a tragedy whenever someone innocent is murdered, but it is not the fault of the tool, only the wielder. Every time the Pavlovian reflex of the left twitches to enact more gun control instead of figuring out how we can stop people wanting to murder in the first place, it betrays their true desires of control over compassion.

3. You don’t get to deprive someone of their Constitutional rights because of a misdemeanor

The last part of the article deals with legislation and references the supposed “gun show loophole,” although the left has FINALLY figured out that the “loophole” is simply that private sales are not subject to federal background check requirements. The author then insinuates that it is legal to sell a gun privately to someone who is not legally allowed to own it, which is completely false, in an attempt to paint all people who engage in private sales as enablers of men who would murder their girlfriends.

Straw Purchases are illegal, as is selling a gun to someone who cannot own it, whether you know or not.

The author finally segues into claiming that single women are not as protected as married women, or women who are part of a couple living together, because violence against the former is simply misdemeanor assault while against the latter is domestic violence. Under the Brady Bill background check laws of 94, the NICS check system will flag anyone with a misdemeanor domestic violence charge and prevent the check from going through, but “normal” misdemeanor assault is not flagged.

The logical thrust is that “boyfriends” ought to be added to the Brady Law so that the inconsistency can be resolved, however the Constitutionality of depriving someone of a right enshrined in the Bill of Rights for a misdemeanor is highly suspect, even to the point of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas questioning it.

Constitutionality aside, this serves as an example of the continually encroaching control that feminists want over men, even men who aren’t married to, or shacked up with, them. Imagine that you take a girl out on a couple dates, you both get drunk, she gets pissed and decks you one. Any physical response you might be tempted to give could not ONLY be grounds for assault charges, but she could claim you as a “boyfriend” and get you slapped with a domestic violence conviction and suspension of your firearms rights for life.

The “Gunsplainer”

The article closes with a condescending little infographic with some of the more simplistic pro-gun arguments and their suggested talking points on how to defeat your argument and “win,” turning your potential date into a shrill leftist robot. It also contains a list of red-flag truisms that anyone would recognize as hallmarks of a dangerously unbalanced person.

There’s no need to be a “gunsplainer” and to engage in her pointless debates. When she asks why you own a gun, tell her it’s your Constitutional right and you don’t need any other reason. If she doesn’t like it, she can amend the Constitution through its legal process, or she can hit the bricks. Whoever heard of an unarmed King anyway?

Read More: 4 Bogus Excuses Barack Obama Is Using To Disarm The American People

138 thoughts on “3 Things Cosmo Gets Wrong About Relationships With Men Who Own Guns”

  1. My wife likes when I go to the range or take the dog out hunting. She gets the house to herself. I did get a safe when the collection expanded from just a shotgun and two revolvers.

    1. what happened to when cosmo was teaching women to wax thier gashes and better blowjob techniques?

    2. One of the first things I look for in a woman’s home is this magazine. If I see one, she’s off the list. Done.

      1. 15 years ago it was exactly the opposite. A girl who had a cosmo was going to be the one who could fuck and suck better because Cosmo was teaching them what men want.

  3. Great article.
    I’m so utterly tired of the gun “debate.” It’s not even a debate, frankly, because that requires logical positions on both sides. 1) Guns are tools. 2) Car and knife owners kill more people than gun owners kill. 3) Criminals do not and will not abide by gun ownership, registration, or acquisition laws.
    Given those facts, it is inarguable that the only thing gun control proponents seek is power. Sure you see the occasional dumbass housewife who thinks the gun murders on local news are horrifying and omfg we’ve got to do something, but aside from that, no rational person can deny that gun control is another tool in the left’s authoritarian kit.
    Besides that, it’s not even enforceable. Imagine how many unregistered guns get passed down to family members, friends, etc, not to mention cash transactions in the gun show parking lot or simple theft. The entire issue is a bad joke.

    1. It’d be about as effective as the war on drugs has been. Everyone who wants one will get one. The law-abiding citizens who can’t get one will be at the mercy of the thugs and criminals who have guns (and they will). The reason the stats for gun’s pros vs cons look so bad is because thugs who are scared off by someone with a gun aren’t reported in most statistics, so we never really get a good idea of how many lives they save.

        1. Yep. They’ll skew the stats to make their case look as plausible as they can. Just look at what they had to do in order to get their 1 in 4 women are raped on college campuses numbers. In reality (true stats from the FBI), rapes on college campuses are actually LOWER than the surrounding area. That’s right ladies, colleges are safer than real life.

        2. 52 percent of death by gun is with the hands of black men. Black men account for 6.5 percent of the total US population. They account for 52 of the homicides.
          We are not giving up our guns because the white liberals want it, and it was the white liberals who “bred” this self destructing culture.

        4. Dr Jeep go to YouTube and check this site/fella “Black Pigeon Speaks”…he’s new to YouTube.Has a vid on Black Lives Matter which is amazing… I’ll try and get the link..

        5. i’ve seen respectable black people express similar feelings in real life. a goofy white guy i worked with once asked a smart, professional middle-aged black coworker if she was into some gangsta rapper. her reaction was to shake her head in disgust at being associated with that sort of music because of her skin color.

      2. “The law-abiding citizens who can’t get one will be at the mercy of the thugs
        and criminals who have guns (and they will).”
        This is a point that I often repeat myself, but I have to concede that if you are a law-abiding person who can’t figure out how to get a gun, you are a fucking moron. This is a technology that is several hundred years old, the knowledge of which is widely available. All you need is a basic metal shop and some skill, and you could make an AK-47 in your basement.
        What will really happen is that if a ban were ever enacted, many “law-abiding citizens,” like me, will become criminals.

        4. What are the odds though that armed thugs are going to do a home invasion of your place while you are home relaxing with your family?
          It is very rare to hear stories of it were I live (though we dont have the armed poor/black population you do), and the few that there are seem to be drug related (ie the dealer didn’t pay his debt to his supplier so they sent around a few with meat cleavers or bats to scare the shit out him).
          Sure home break-ins happen for theft but far and away thieves want to avoid any chance of a violent encounter and just want to get in and out surreptitiously. For anyone without a gun, they can pull out the lead pipe, golf club, samari sword, baseball bat, hammer or nail gun to scare off a burglar
          I’m not saying having a gun for home protection is bad idea or doesn’t give the owner a nice sense of security but say looking at Canada does average citizen there live with daily fear of random home invasion by gun totting thugs. If you live in a high violent random crime neighborhood then I dont blame you.

        5. SJM-
          Canada tends to hide their dirt far better than the US because they are not on the global stage as we are. One case that comes to mind is the beheading and cannibalizing of Tim McLean on a public bus. The guy who did it only served 7 years in a mental facility.
          The saddest part is that NOBODY else on the bus tried to stop him. Put me on that bus with a gun and the killers brains would be all over the windows and I’d be the one in prison.
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Tim_McLean

        6. That’s a pretty horrific incident. For sure like you say if you or someone else had a gun the stand off would have ended real quick, but I’d suspect too much damage would have been done to the unlucky passenger in the back to have saved his life. I’m for gun ownership in a controlled manner, but not so sure about random people walking the streets packing a handgun. There would be a more bad stories of people using to settle disputes for instance Recently there was a story of someone in a serious condition after being shot while watching a movie in a theater because some joker behind him was playing with his gun and dropped it and it went off.
          For every ‘gun saved a life’ scenario there will be a few negative irresponsible/reckless incidents to cancel it out if gun carry ownership was widespread. I personally don’t like the increasing grab of control over our lives from government though and restriction on owning a weapon is just another brick in the wall, but its not like I feel less safe not having a gun on me and I have other weapons + security cams at home.

      3. Exactly….drugs are illegal and you can still get legal and illegal drugs…Imagine if you made guns illegal and then created a huge black market??

      4. That is their plan…enable criminals, cripple honest people that want to defend hearth & home. Don’t doubt it.

      5. I worked once at a plant in the north of Alabama. They all carry guns there. The first time I had a party at my house everyone came and asked where my gun storage was. I didn’t have any.
        One fairly attractive single woman that worked at the plant lived in a trailer in the woods (single wide). One Sunday night a guy knocked on her door. She didn’t know him so she told him to leave. When he didn’t leave, and started to break down the door, she told him she had a gun. This did no good. So, She put six shoots through the door. After a short wait to reload, she checked her door step and he was gone. The next morning when she told us about this we asked if there was a pile of shit on her porch, left by the guy after the first shot.

    2. Here’s the extent of the debate we need to have with anti-gun people: “amend the Constitution, or shut the fuck up.”

        1. I agree that this is what they’re trying to do, but there is no point in engaging in a rigged debate with people who obviously don’t give a shit about: 1) the Constitution; 2) common sense; 3) real practical solutions; or 4) what we think.
          I oppose ANY further regulation of firearms, and I refuse to concede from here on out that any of them are reasonable.
          Like I said, they can amend the Constitution or shut the fuck up. What I left unsaid is “OK, you’ve eliminated the second amendment, now come try to disarm me.”

      3. I just lead with the shut the fuck up part. Not interested in amending a damn thing.

    3. The day the leftist leaders started invoking England and Australia was the day their final goal was revealed: confiscation.
      Thus, there is NO more debate. They are not getting the guns, they are not going to be begged for acceptance or permission
      If they think they can achieve their goals by force, they won’t survive the civil war they are starting.

      1. Thankfully here in Aus we aren’t at complete confiscation (although we are heavily regulated by what guns we can legally own). Hasn’t stopped me however. Looking at a new gun safe this afternoon actually.

        1. What kind of laws are there in Aussie land? I figured its big enough that they would be fairly lax if not on par with America

        2. Nope. Quite strict. We have no right to bear arms. 100% lawfully living Joe Blow can’t get a gun. You can if you are Farmers, security personell.. etc etc. It’s all dependent on occupation as far as I can tell and heavily regulated.
          I am not sure how it was before 96, but after that Port Arthur massacre (35 dead and almost same number injured), they pushed our current laws through in no time.
          If you are actually interested start with the Port Arthur/Martin Bryant massacre it all went from there

        4. You’re right in the “we have no right to bear arms”; anyone who wants to own or shoot a gun has to have a “valid reason”. Personal security isn’t one of these reasons. However, these reasons include “target shooting” (hand guns and long arms), “vermin control” (long arms), etc.
          The only legal reason to own a handgun is target practice at a shooting range (thus you also need a current shooting range membership and have to satisfy the clubs criteria for membership). You cannot legally operate or even hold a loaded handgun outside of a range. Unless cleaning it or transporting it to or from a shooting range, a handgun should be in an approved safe (certain locking mechanism, bolted to the foundations, certain thickness of steel etc). Handguns can only be a .38 or less (unless in QLD. or you get a separate, special higher caliber handgun license which you have to compete in special competitions). And magazines have a max of 10 bullets.
          Long arms are a bit more lenient. You fill out your license form, go to a safety class, pass an exam and you get your license. There are no minimum number of shoots required, if you ticked “vermin control” as your valid reason you don’t need to belong to a shooting range either. You just keep renewing your license every few years, store your long arms legally and you’re good. I know guys who have .50 cal rifles for “vermin control”. Nothing left but a red cloud!
          I don’t know what it was like pre-1996 either, since I was 14 then. I’ve only been shooting for the last 3 years

      2. “What the hell are you doing in my sock drawer?”

        She’s in my sock drawer because she’s putting my socks away. Frankly, I find women are fascinated by men with guns and think its sexy that you have them. Why? Because women seek security and being able to use a gun is a surefire (npi) way of providing it. Not only that, I have knives stashed in every room in my house and not one single chick has a problem with it.

    4. Cosmo? lol. Ok. I don’t think too many men will get trapped into this ridiculousness, but just in case, here’s YeahReally!’s guide to how to mansplain in response.

      1. Your walk through should be the final image on the main article. I encourage the author (if he is listening) to ask your permission to use it

    5. I don’t debate the issue. For me, it’s not even an issue. I don’t need to provide a defensible argument as to why I own guns to anyone. People who pop off at the mouth to me with “well you don’t need a gun” get the response of “who the fuck are you to tell me what I do and don’t need?”. I used to work with one of those socialist types who ranted one day about Trump and how nobody has the right to be a millionaire. And I thanked him for proving why the 2nd Amendment is so vital to our nation. He looked at me all confused and I told him “We have the 2nd Amendment because people like you want to dictate what rights other people should or shouldn’t have.”
      Let them debate. Let them pass their silly unenforceable laws. The contents of my gun safe will remain unchanged.

  4. The conversation goes something like this- hey, want to go to the range this weekend?
    Ewww, I don’t like guns.
    Have you ever fired one?
    No! No way would I ever shoot.
    Scratch them off list of potential life partners…
    BTW- have you seen the videos of Keanu Reeves shooting three- gun? There’s one of him also training with one of the female actresses from Resident Evil; she tears it up as well.

  5. Women are on birth control , ssris, and feminism but are worried about a man with a gun…

  6. The heart flow chart cracks me up. I have a flow chart of my own.
    Are you on birth control…..
    How many cocks have you had in you….
    See where we’re going with this?
    Do I own a gun…. Yes, many
    Where did you get it… None of your fucking business…. Good talk

      1. Do you own a gun?
        That doesn’t sound like the beginning of a sandwich recipe.
        No I am really asking if you own a gun.
        Mayonnaise is fine…I am in ketosis.
        I asked if you own a gun?
        Yes, you look very nice. Are you almost done making that sandwich?
        Can you understand anything I say?
        Yes, but only when you say “yes sir” or “dsjkhfkdsjbgjsgfjhgs “

    1. King Midas for one. He doesn’t need a gun. He just touches you, you turn into gold. Then he buys cocaine and hoes with your solidified fingers. Nuff said.

      1. What good would either of those things do him as if he touched them they would also turn to gold? I had a guy that worked for me once that came into the office just before lunch time. I asked him how the project had gone that day. He replied that every thing he touch had turned to shit. Then he paused and added, “I’m afraid to eat lunch.”

      1. South is fine, but I sometimes travel to New Jersey, New York, or other
        liberal hellholes where you can’t even travel through the place with an
        out of state license. If Trump or Cruz get in, I hope they can get a
        nationwide concealed carry law passed.
        I’ll be there. Lightning Rod at Dollywood is opening that weekend and I’ll be there to ride it. I’ll stop by on the way back.

  9. In my experience, women love love LOVE a man with a capacity to wage violence. I don’t talk about myself much, but when they hear that I am an accomplished martial artist and instructor, I can see their pupils dilate, body language change and they start cooing about how they shouldn’t mess with me. I am a big pussy cat, and pretty non violent who fights to not fight (If you know what I mean and understand the paradox). I’ve had women in my office come up and talk to me about it like giddy school girls, despite not having said word one to these chicks about my training. There is some primal lizard brain instincts in there that modern socialization just can overwrite.

    1. I’ve noticed that as well. I train in a few styles and I’ve noticed a few women that are newer in our school go out of their way to ask me questions about training or just to sit and talk between classes. I’ve found that an air of competence mixed with nonchalance and willingness to not take yourself too seriously has an extremely magnetic effect on them. Too bad I can only window shop (look, not touch) as they are pretty cute.

    2. I think a lot of it also has to do with how you carry yourself too. If you KNOW you can fuck someone using your hands, you will walk with so much more confidence.

    3. Yep. 100% true.
      I would add that a woman does not want a servant. Or a “nice guy”. They want someone who won’t put up with their shit.

    5. As a miltiary POG, I never killed anyone. When women find out I was in the Marine Corps, they get very interested. Then they ask me if I ever killed anyone, and I say no, they get very disinterested. Has happened 3 times. Being married, I laugh. If I were single I’d have to say something like, “What are you, a journalist?” Or, “I don’t like to talk about that stuff.”

    6. Absolutely.
      The concept goes beyond culture & nationality & right to the heart of biological truth..from my experience.

  10. “What the hell are you doing in my sock drawer?” I love this. In my view, any man finding a womens’ magazine in his girl’s apartment ought to take the moment to “have a conversation” about the garbage she’s putting in her head. This propaganda is training women to be little brown shirts such that every household can have its own little brown shirt making sure that no thought crimes occur in the home, nor guns, tobacco, notions of self-reliance, etc.

  11. Running and yelling is as effective as pulling out a gun for self defense? Fucking idiot

  12. An anti-gun, dating flow chart?
    What the blue f*&^? Seriously, WHO THINKS THIS CRAP UP?!?
    One of the most fun things my wife and I did was – when we were first dating over 20 years ago – go shooting.
    She had never fired a gun in her life, but was open to the idea…
    Few dates later, she’s burning up all my ammo… Even the good stuff, not just the schlub hardball practice ammo. I gallantly picked up the tab for everything, went and bought new…
    I wouldn’t have invested the time and resources into those shooting sessions if I didn’t think she was wife material. Turns out, my instincts were correct. 20 years and still going strong, she has her own sidearm, a CCW, and has also become a fair hand with a rifle…
    I think the Cosmo authoress would have an aortic infarction (which my son defines as “A brain-heart attack”) if she knew not only did we go off-script from that insipid flow chart, but I co-opted one of them and flipped her to our side! Heh…
    And truly, females often make the best students – they don’t think they have some genetic pre-disposition to be competent handling a firearm, no bad habits to unlearn, etc. She understands and agrees that I cannot be around her 24/7, so she has to TCB on her own. Bless her heart…
    Edit: One of the best answers my wife ever gave… we’re at some office party thing for her work and one of the femiturds asked breathlessly “You own a gun?!? WHY?!?”
    My wife said “Because I CAN..” and left it at that…

  13. Let’s back up for a second – if the second amendment codifies a fundamental right, which it does, where does the government get off depriving you of it just because you’re convicted of a felony versus a misdemeanor?
    Either you have rights, or you don’t. If you are a dangerous criminal who can’t be trusted with guns, you should be in prison, not in some quasi-citizen-status limbo.
    Also, the fact that you can lose a fundamental right because some bitch attacks you, you defend yourself, and she turns on the water works is idiotic. Guns are not the problem, the people that enter into, and stay in these toxic relationships are.
    Finally, it perplexes me that more women aren’t pro gun. I am 6’1″, weigh between 210-215, have a muscular build, have trained in martial arts and am a combat veteran. Virtually no woman on this planet is going to stand toe-to-toe with me and trade punches for longer than two seconds, no matter what Hollywood tells them. But, if that woman is packing a pistol, she needs not fear me, or any other violent man for that matter, because she carries the most efficient equalizer ever created.

    1. It’s not just about having the means or tools to take life. It’s also about having the will to do so at the moment of truth. And few people, especially women, have the ability to willingly harm or take a man’s life unless he or she has been trained to do so.

      1. I was taught early on (12 IIRC) that you never take out a gun unless you intend to shoot, and never shoot unless you intend to kill. So, all this “I warn you I have a gun” is BS. If the situation is threatening your life you take out your gun and neutralize the threat with utmost prejudice.

  14. Re: Guns being empowering for females, this is totally true. Nothing says “equality” like an object that makes it equally easy for a 90-pound-weakling to end another person’s life as it is for someone who is 200-pounds of muscle and can lift 3 times that much. The only reason men have killed more people with guns than women have is because women have chosen not to use guns as much. There is nothing sexist about guns. I don’t quite understand why feminism hasn’t embraced gun ownership for women for that very reason.
    Nor why the “girls with guns” meme is so popular amongst “traditional, conservative, patriarchal” men. If these guys are as woman-hating as many claim, why do they relish the idea of giving these “weak, inferior beings” (women) such literal life-and-death power? Incidentally, I wonder the same about plural marriage, if a man is so concerned with being head of his household and ruling his family with an iron fist, why would he want to be outnumbered by his wives? I know, more sex, of course, but it is funny if you think about it, though not too different from very authoritarian parents having a lot of kids.

    2. Five? I prefer a compact myself. Three inches of steel does the job well enough

  16. You know, on closer consideration, that flow chart is even more retarded than I initially thought.
    Notice that it never ends with “run for your life.” Everything is always “Good Talk” or “Keep Talking.”
    So how about this conversation:
    Her: “Do you have a gun.”
    Me: “Fuck yes, how else am I going to kill people?”
    Ends in either “keep talking” or “good talk.”
    Her: “Do you have a gun?”
    Me: “Shit! Did you see it? Well, I guess it’s not a surprise I’m driving you out here to murder you anymore!! [locks doors]”
    Is this a “good talk” or a “keep talking” situation?
    How about:
    Her: Do you have a gun?”
    Me: “I murdered your sister, and your cat. Your hair smells good.”
    “Good Talk?”
    FUCK! I’m confused!! This flowchart doesn’t answer shit!!

    1. Fuck yes, how else am I going to kill people?”
      Holy shit that was funny. That was better than anything I came up with!

      1. Her: “where do you keep you gun?”
        Me: “While you’re sleeping, I like to keep it pointed at your face while I stare at you and masturbate.”
        Keep talking?

  17. People have used cars to run other people over to injure or kill. We should outlaw cars?
    Knives can kill people. Let’s ban knives.
    I wish they would just stop pushing gun control.

  18. “This hit piece comes with a cute, heart-accented diagram of the “conversation” a girl is supposed to have to ensure her beau is not a Bad Man With A Gun”
    How ironic because nothing gets today’s skank more hot and bothered than being a violent piece of shit. A bad man with a gun makes it even better.

    1. It’s just a giant shit test to see if the man has the balls to kick her ass to the curb when she starts fucking with him.
      “Why do you own a gun” should be followed by
      – “why do you care?”
      – “yes.”
      – “THIS GUN?! YOU MEAN THIS GUN?!! AHAHAHAHAH!!”
      – “did I give you permission to ask me stupid questions today?”
      – “because God knows I can’t count on your fat ass to protect me when shit goes wrong”
      – “so that when the revolution comes I will be ready”
      – “I’m really a spy working for her Majesties Secret Service”
      – “Ohhh, that’s so precious! She’s trying to reform me!”
      – “to keep you safe baby…. Ha Ha, Just kidding! Actually, I really like firing the thing and it makes me feel happy knowing I can turn someone into a slab of meat if they fuck with me. LOL, you should have seen the look on your face when I said that crap about ‘keeping you safe’ before.”
      – “That’s not “a gun”, that’s my Lucy!” (kiss the gun and make fondling motions)

  19. Studies show that yelling or calling 911 are just as effective as pulling out a gun. Yeah fucking right. If you are waiting for the government to save you, you will always be disappointed.

    1. When your life is in danger and seconds matter; remember that the police are only minutes away.

  20. The left’s campaign against guns is a long term game. The right has been dumb enough to be roped into the debates on “gun violence,” thereby lending credence to the arguments of screaming children (at least to the ignorant masses).
    Children growing up today, who have easy access to every leftist news site, are being bombarded with propaganda filled with lies about guns. Hell, even television shows, including ones directed at children, are filled with false propaganda about guns. When these children grow up, they won’t even want the right to bear arms. They’ll run from guns like they would a diseased rodent. They’ll sign away their civil liberties without a fight. This is the long term goal of the left. No need for a bloody revolution when the sheep remain passive and unarmed.
    Add in the influx of radical feminist teachings in schools, and the next generation of children will become the perfect cellphone-attached, socially-detached zombies they’re already becoming. The government could probe their assholes everyday on the way to work and they wouldn’t complain as long as they could post a selfie to Facebook.

  21. Again, the bullshit about “safely storing your gun” which apparently requires that the ammo be kept separate. If you own a gun for personal security / home defense, this advice is utterly moronic. Let’s try his way:
    Q: “Sir, is your car safely stored?”
    A: “Why yes, the car is in the garage, the gasoline is locked in in the garden shed, and the seats and the steering wheel are stored in the basement”.
    Makes perfect sense… not.

    1. This. ^
      The little gun is there to give you time to get to the big gun. Both require boolits.
      According to Marshal Cogburn: “Well, if it ain’t loaded and cocked, it don’t shoot…”
      Doesn’t work so well with no boolits… guess you could conk someone over the head with it, but you can do that with almost anything…. can of soup or bar of soap in a gym sock, rolling pin, brick, 2×4, skillet, 10-speed (yes, really. I personally saw that one… dude knocked other dude down, then picked up a 10 speed bike… WHAM!!)…
      Of course, the best thing to use for a club is… an actual club.
      Why fork over a couple hunnert bucks for a nice gun, then not use boolits? That’s just dumb…

  22. You stabbed that guy, what’s wrong with you! […] You shot that guy, we need to ban guns!
    That little comic strip was great and full of truth.
    Also, I hope the lady who wrote the Cosmo article gets accosted by a rapist when she’s alone so she can try her wonderful techniques of yelling, running away weely weely fast or calling the police. The police who are men, representants of the patriarchy, and who have guns. Liberalism is a parody that writes itself!

    1. If she is Finnish she merely needs to turn, hold out her hand in the stop signal, and authoritatively say NO. This will cause any rapist to recoil and cringe in fear. I know this because that is what the Finnish officials put out to women to help them stop rape.

  24. It’s just a giant shit test to see if the man has the balls to kick her ass to the curb when she starts fucking with him.
    “Why do you own a gun” should be followed by
    – “why do you care?”
    – “yes.”
    – “THIS GUN?! YOU MEAN THIS GUN?!! AHAHAHAHAH!!”
    – “did I give you permission to ask me stupid questions today?”
    – “because God knows I can’t count on your fat ass to protect me when shit goes wrong”
    – “so that when the revolution comes I will be ready”
    – “I’m really a spy working for her Majesties Secret Service”
    – “Aw, that’s so precious! She’s trying to reform me!”
    – “to keep you safe baby…. Ha Ha, Just kidding! Actually, I really like firing the thing and it makes me feel happy knowing I can turn someone into a slab of meat if they fuck with me. LOL, you should have seen the look on your face when I said that crap about ‘keeping you safe’ before.”
    – “That’s not “a gun”, that’s my Lucy!” (kiss the gun and make fondling motions)

    1. “because God knows I can’t count on your fat ass to protect me when shit goes wrong”
      I love using that response. Change it to suit the situation and it shuts every uppity woman down.

  25. 3 things cosmo gets wrong about (insert topic here):
    1: everything
    2 & 3: see above

  26. Cosmo? Seriosly?
    ******************
    I would expect a Cosmo article on anything, including guns, to be headlined:
    50 New Ways to Increase Your Arousal by (XXXXing) with His (XXXX)
    Gun could clearly be inserted in the second set of XXXXs

  27. Re: #2
    Guns are demonized because their primary use is to kill. A frying pan’s primary use is to prepare food.
    Nature of the beast.

    1. When I took Hunter’s Ed a few years back, the very first thing they asked was what is the primary function of a firearm. There was probably 30 of us in the room, ranging from 8 years old all the way into 40 years of age. I’m sure almost everyone knew the answer but we were all afraid of making ourselves look like bad guys if we said it. After a while some kid (maybe 12) piped up with “to preserve freedom.” Not a bad answer but they corrected him and said its only function is to kill.

    2. A gun’s primary purpose is to propel a projectile at something accurately at high speed. Just like a knife’s primary purpose is to cut things, the significance lies in the choice of target.
      Liberals blame guns because it’s easier than blaming criminals, who are usually Democrats.

  28. I teach my daughter to shoot, respect fire arms, and not be a afraid of them. I want my daughter to defender herself like a true woman not a SJW cry baby

  29. Guns are inherently dangerous….You either accept that or not..It’s called liberty.

  30. Anything beginning with “we need to have a conversation” or “lets talk about” is always my que to gtfo while I still can

    1. Wisdom. Immediately leave the vicinity of any woman that says, “We need to talk.” Telling her to FO, as you walk away, is optional

  31. When a woman first visits a man’s home, she should be informed that while most of the firearms in the house are kept in the safe, there are likely to be a couple of them out of it, and those are kept loaded at all times. If her response is anything other than something along the lines of, “If they’re not loaded they’re not of any use,” dump her.

    1. …and don’t buy into any line of shit about not being able to find a woman who likes or is at least curious about shooting. I dated many women who would actually bug me to go shooting after we had been once.

      1. Absolutely. My mother and father, both of whom were from a rural area, used to go “plinking” on many a date. An excellent rifleman himself, he freely admitted that she was a better shot than he. One of my most treasured rifles is a Winchester 62A she gave him as a Christmas present in 1940 before he reported for duty in the Army.

  32. I love how women always PRETEND they like the responsible, uptigth, shirts tucked, pajama-boy faced “men” that don’t resort to violence and thus don’t need guns! (As demonstrated by point “I need it to protect myself” mentioned as an issue)…
    Yet they get tingles and line up to be ravaged by violent criminals.
    The hamster is so strong it’s amusing.

    2. In Germany, after being raped by migrants, they apologize for it not being consensual, thank the sperm donor for coming into their land, then blame their White male counterparts for being racist xenophobes. This inability to discern cause and effect, this disjointedness from reality amongst Western women is alarming to say the least. They are the products of the most vicious social propaganda campaign in human history wherein good, decent, true Men are traded for off-the-boat snakes with no moral compass. The beginning of the end out here methinks…
      R>

      1. Is Germany’s population anti-Gun? Kind of ironic as some of the best weapons manufacturors are German. H&K fanboy myself

    3. Maybe they ate afraid of law abiding men killing all the criminals and robbing them of tingle inducing “bad boys”

  33. Many moons ago I had a buddy who normally worked nights but had the night off on the evening our fateful story takes place. At around midnight he heard some tinkering in his living room so he grabbed his pistol from his nightstand drawer (he lived alone at the time), & stuck his head out into the hallway to turn his attention to the living room where the uninvited guest with his back to him was on his knees unhooking all of my friend’s electronics from the entertainment center, & can you guess what was lying in the floor a few inches beside him? I’ll help you narrow it down; it wasn’t a bag of kratom or a copy of Cosmo. It was a big-ass glock, undoubtedly stolen. My buddy had to make a decision right there; ask the guy politely to stop what he was doing & exit the premises, possibly startling the guy & giving him time to grab his piece & endanger his life even further, or erase all doubt with one squeeze. My friend chose the latter, killing the guy but saving his own life. To this day he feels awful for taking the life of another but is able to deal because he knows that guy was prepared to do the same thing. I’ve heard so many assholes give the shitty retort that by the time someone breaks into your home, unless you have the gun on you it’s too late to do anything by the time you unlock your safe. Good thing my friend kept his in a nightstand.

  34. So you are on a first date with someone you have been talking to on occasion.
    The woman says in the middle of the date after consulting Cosmo with her phone, “Do you own a Gun?”
    1. Say GTFO and make her pay for the check.
    2. Put up your arms and say “I own 2. They are the 3rd Army and the 7th Fleet”.
    I dont see either in that SJW chart.

    1. The proper response is excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and ask the waiter about a back door while on your way. Leave her with the tab.

  35. “Why do you own a gun?” She asked.
    The man looked her in the eyes and said: I do protect what is mine. My house, my car and my dog. Now that I fucked your brains out last night, you too, belong to me. Your heart and your body belongs to me. If some asshole tries to steal you from me, I will shoot him. As long as you are loyal to me I will protect you. If you betray me, I will shoot you, too. Now you know why I need a gun.
    “This, this……was the kindest and most sexy thing a man has ever said to me” replied the girl. “I love you so much. Please, please, please dont ever leave me.”

  36. We all know “conversation” in libspeak means STFU, agree with me, and do what I say, or else you’re stupid.

  37. Here’s my discussion:
    Her: Do you have a gun?
    Me: Yep I always carry one.
    Her: How did you get it?
    Me: I bought it.
    Her: Did you pass an FBI…
    Me: (INTERRUPTING) Hey, look, there’s a hot dog cart, I’m hungry.
    The End.

  38. Her: Do you own a gun?
    Him: Yes, my dad’s old 38…couple others. Why?
    Her: Cool. I own a Glock and an AR.
    Him: (thinking to self) …This just became my dream date.

  39. If guns are as safe as frying pan then why can’t an individual own grenades, bombs, tanks, etc., if they can personally afford it? I don’t see “guns” anywhere in the 2A.

    1. Arms was the word used, and it meant weapons of personal defense. All of the cannons that the US did not capture from the British were privately owned by colonists. The reason you can’t own a tank is because the government has made it illegal, and the question should be asked, is outlawing tank ownership Constitutionally permitted? You can own a decommissioned tank, but that’s not the same thing.
      The example of the frying pan was intended to illustrate that it is the intent of the user, not the choice of weapon, that matters. If you rape a woman with your dick or a broomstick, she is still raped.

      1. Various drafts of the 2A meant the “arms” were weapons to make a well-regulated militia fighting force and not necessarily some guy who might face a burglar. Hence the weapons allowed by the 2A should be extremely diverse now the courts have ruled the 2A also applies outside of the militia.

        1. The constitutional question was answered when they outlawed machine guns in the 30s. They just required that you have a tax stamp in order to buy or sell one, and then didn’t issue any stamps. The courts ruled that this was a matter of taxation, and the feds were not required to issue any stamps.

    2. You know that’s a good point. I don’t see an armed American revolution going so well when people point thier ARs they bought at Academy at an armed predator drone. We used to have access to whatever we could afford. But we’ll that got shoved up some feminists twat and now all we have is sport rifles go figure.

  40. There is no such thing as a “Constitutional right.” Just tell her it’s your prerogative and stop worrying about pieces of paper.

  41. good article. Good points here. I don’t personally like guns, even for shooting practice. Not really interested in hunting either. In saying that, I think leftists want to control people.

  44. The notion of owning a weapon, whether it be a gun, a sword, or a goddam club, to protect oneself and one’s own has been a masculine thing since the Stone Age. Little wonder feminists and leftist women want it removed, just like every other male institution. And they’ll accomplish it in the same manner as those other institutions.. by nagging, whining to the government, and when all else fails, invading the male space. Expect a big upsurge in leftist females joining gun clubs and the NRA.
    Although they might get more than they bargained for.. it seems even progressive SJW chicks wet their panties at the raw power of wielding a firearm:

  46. Bought my first gun in 1991 with money left over from my wife’s and I wedding. It is a Beretta 92F 9mm. At first my wife did not even want me to have in our home, I brought in anyways. She got use to it, a few guns later I have a carry conceal license and carry it when ever I want I just do not tell her.

  47. So the guy who buys the gun because he says he grew up hunting or target shooting is somehow less dangerous who buys one for protection? Hmmm!
    What if you do both, hunt and use your gun for protection? Does that make you half dangerous?
    What if the guy that bought the gun for protection is a Christian who follows the Bible to the letter and the guy who grew up hunting doesn’t eat his game just enjoys killing and lets his game dead in the woods?
    This is about as effective as trying to pigeonhole guys who are bald vs ones who have hair as either good or bad.

  48. Store guns and ammo separately? What a crock of shit.
    “There are several responses to crime. Run, 911 blah blah blah”
    Yes, because women like cowards who run at the sight of danger and call other males to defend them because they’re too weak.
    No, really.
    “So if this guy is indicating that he needs that gun to prevent him from being attacked, that means that he considers violence as a reasonable response”
    What? …
    Are they tying to imply that violence is not a reasonable response to being attacked? WTF??? What does this dumb cunt think the cops are going to do?

  49. Her: “Do you own a gun?”
    Me: “Of coarse, what’s your point?”
    Her: “Why do you own a gun?”
    Me: “Because it’s my right and I damn well can. Don’t worry though, if we’re ever in danger, I’ll ONLY use it protect myself as I wouldn’t to impose my patriarchal views on you. I’ll hope for the best while you call the Police and wait for them to come save you.”
    *After smashing the shit senseless later that night, I never return her calls again and go find another that’s hopefully not as dumb.*

    1. But the Police said “Everything She Does Is Magic!”
      [terrible joke] [that’s a song, by the way…]

  50. Her: “Do you own a gun?”
    Him: “that is none of your business.”
    Her: “Why not?”
    Him: “Because I said so.”

  51. Love the article Luke. If a woman has a problem with the gun she should walk anyway.

  52. Who cares about Constitutional Rights? The Constitution numbers certain rights, which are not actually rights, and enable Leftism.
    What one should care about, are actual, God-given rights. A man has a right to defend his life and to use proportional violence for any just reason, and thus upright citizens have the right to bear arms accordingly. This is true even in countries where the US Constitution is not the law of the land, and where they unjustly attempt to outlaw firearms or other weapons.

  53. This is one of the dumbest pieces of “journalism” I have ever read. First, the “expert” clearly doesn’t know anything about actual gun policy. Second, what do women think happens when you call 911 for help? What happens is a man with a gun shows up to help.
    And let’s be clear on what exactly is the “gun show loophole”. It is that in some jurisdictions it is legal to sell a long gun (i.e. rifle or shotgun that is not a bona fide machine gun) from private party to QUALIFIED private party without a background check. That is it. Just private party to private party sale. Also, notice that it is only legal to sell it to a qualified individual. If the person you sell it to is prohibited from firearm ownership that makes you a criminal. If the sale involves a pistol it has to go through FFA, period. There are no exemptions (except for limited inheritance situations). In reality I know of few long arm private sales that ultimately don’t go through an FFA anyhow because the seller doesn’t want the liability of being listed as the last owner in the supposedly non-existent federal gun registry and also to make sure the buyer is indeed a qualified purchaser.

  55. Why do I own guns??
    A.They are awesone!
    B.Believe it or not, shooting dates gets you the most passionate, Agressive, and sometimes exhausting sex from a woman.
    This-works-every-fucking-time-without-fail!!!!
    C.They make my dick hard is a good answer
    Oh yea this was about the constitution yea that too!!!

  57. You are so short of examples to back up your poorly-constructed argument that you resort to stills from Disney films? That is pathetic.

  58. Short story from my sisters gun safety class. “A girl was firing at a paper target, was happy with her last shot, she was so excited, she jumped in the air, spun 180 degrees with gun in hand to celebrate with her boyfriend. She was removed from the class.” The end.

  59. Yeah, guns are tools, but my wife really never has to worry about me going off the deep end and killing the kids with my welder. A man in St Louis just got a hit with a domestic abuse charge by his wife, and killed their children (and then himself). He probably wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t have a gun. Women drown their kids in a bathtub, men use a gun. Women who don’t like guns should never marry a gun nut.

  60. Cosmo wasn’t talking about taking away your guns. They were just saying taking away some of the women who might date you.

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