The idea that meeting and attracting girls consistently has much in common with sales is nothing new. However, having recently read Jeb Blount’s excellent business book Fanatical Prospecting, I can reveal that he drops in one particular nugget that every seducer would do well keep in mind at all times:
When it is time to go home, make one more call.
This simple eleven word mantra, if applied consistently, is guaranteed to increase your success with girls, whether you are looking for a relationship or something more short term.
Currently employed by a start-up to generate new business in a tough marketplace, I have gone back to basics recently and sought to sharpen up my skills and gain inspiration from a number of business and sales books. By far the best that I have come across is Jeb Blount’s Fanatical Prospecting. Blount, a US sales profession who has built up a multi-million dollar sales and marketing business from scratch through sheer grit and the determination to make thousands of sales calls, has a very simple piece of advice.
Every business is built through sales, or to put it another way, sales are the lifeblood of every business. For this reason, it is essential to always maintain a healthy pipeline of “possible” deals. Some of these deals will come off, some won’t, but those that don’t matter less if you have another ten prospects hot and ready to go.
For this reason, the most fundamental task the salesman has, over and above administrative tasks, filling in spreadsheets, lunching existing clients and so on, is fanatical prospecting. To put it at its simplest, the more sales calls you make, the more likely you will be to enjoy eventual success through at least a few of them.
Make One More Call
Of course, the process of sales, just like the process of going out to a club or high street and chatting up girls you’ve never met before, can be both daunting and spirit-crushing. Rejection after rejection piles up, making you question the quality of your product (yourself), your skills and the market.
This is normal.
Blount correctly points out that even superstar sales people don’t particularly like this process. No one enjoys getting door after door slammed in their face after all. But what separates that men from the boys, so to speak, is having the ability to take those nos, carry on, and just make one more call anyway.
Another useful analogy to bear in mind is weight training. How often has it been said that it is doing one more rep that truly makes the difference? If, at the end of a grueling bench press set, you can bring yourself to push out one more rep—and you do this consistently—then the effect on your physique over time will be exponential.
The idea of “grit” being at the heart of success is a fashionable one right now, with books like Angela Duckworth’s “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” being very popular among the business and self-help communities. In fact, Duckworth claim’s that grit is a more accurate predictor of success than IQ.
Such a theory is of course very seductive, almost a variant on the American dream, in that it states that anyone can achieve anything they want if only they work hard enough for it. But it also happens to be true. In any endeavour, it is not necessarily the most talented, but actually those willing to go the extra mile, who end up succeeding.
What Does This Have to Do With Meeting Women?
Grit is not only an essential component in business—you also need it when you set out to meet girls. Why? Simply because the truth of the matter is that not every girl you meet will be open to having a relationship or sex with you. In fact—unless you’re exceptional good-looking or famous—most won’t. Therefore, you need to be resilient enough to work through the rejections, roll with the punches and keep going until you find someone with whom you click.
There have been countless times where I have seen this principle play out in nightclubs and bars where I have sought to meet women with no immediate success. But remember, it only takes one “yes” to turn a terrible night into an amazing night.
I recall attending one night out where it seemed that I would enjoy no success whatsoever. My every approach was spurned, and I got no traction with any of the girls at all. This in turn began to affect my mood. I lost confidence and felt certain that tonight I would enjoy no such at all.
But I kept going—approaching even as everything appeared to be against me. And finally, standing by the downstairs bar, there she was—an angel in fairy wings, a short skirt, stockings and suspenders (yes, it was that kind of party).
Having done little more than opening her with a cheeky “hey,” within five minutes I was making out with her and a couple of hours later I was in a taxi heading back to her place.
The lesson here is clear—had I not made that one last approach then it would not have gotten laid that night. So next time you’re out, remember: it isn’t over ’til it’s over. However bad things may seem, just make one more approach. You never know what may happen.
Read more: How Bad Logistics Can Ruin Your Game