Anyone who’s been involved in the manosphere for long enough knows about the concept of a rite of passage. For tens of thousands of years, when boys hit the age of puberty, they were forced to undergo a set of challenges.
These challenges were meant to break them down, and build them back up even stronger. These challenges were meant to test them as men, and they are collectively known as an “initiation,” or as a “rite of passage.” When a boy successfully completed the tasks laid before him, he became a man.
Our society, for the most part, lacks these rites of passage. This is, in large part, why there is such a lack of masculinity in our culture—boys are never given a chance to develop into men. We have all of these 45 year old boyish-men running around for a reason: there exists no institutionalized rite of passage in the West.
Despite this, however, I believe that learning game is a form of initiation. It contains all of the traits necessary to turn a boy into a man. It teaches boys to develop self-confidence, despite what women think of them, to become decisive and assertive, and to remain persistent and cultivate strength of will.
Death Of The Ego
One of the primary functions of a rite of passage, is that it destroys a boy’s ego. This is necessary, for in order for him to become a man, his identification with boyhood must be destroyed. In other words, he must cease to view himself as a boy, and come to view himself as a man.
This is, in a nutshell, what most of the rites of passage were designed to do—this is why many of them simulated death, in a rather belly-of-the-whale-esque fashion. One rite of passage, of the Aborigines to be specific, entailed kidnapping a young boy from his mother.
When a boy would reach the age of puberty, the men of the village would sneak into his home during the night and kidnap him; his mother would put on a big show, screaming and fighting, to make it seem realistic. The men would blindfold the boy and take him to the middle of the woods.
He would then spend the next several months undergoing challenges; he would not see a single woman for this period of time. This sudden yanking from the “mother-world,” of safety, and being thrust into the “father-world” of dangerous challenges, symbolized his death as a boy.
When the boy returned home, he would view himself as a man. He would carry himself taller, he would interact with the women differently, and he would have a new sense of purpose. In many ways, as I will soon explain, game does all of these things for the men willing to learn it.
Facing Fears
Many of these challenges that boys were forced to face involved overcoming their fears. Fear of death, fear of the unknown, and fear of failure were all overcome during these rites of passage. As an example, one Native American rite of passage involved making a boy sit, blindfolded, on a tree trunk for three days straight.
Imagine his fear as he heard the various animals during the night; the howling, the cawing, and the roaring of the animals alone would be enough to terrify even the bravest of men. Then, add in the elements of cold and wind, the bugs that must have crawled over his feet, and the fear of a rival tribe member killing him, and it becomes very apparent how brave the men of the past must have been.
Then, once three days had passed, a man of the village would come and remove the boy’s blindfold. This, again, is symbolic of his rebirth; for three days straight, he was blind and helpless. Then, his vision returned and he emerged a new man.
All throughout the rites of passage of history, whether they be of the Inuits, the Amazon tribes, or the South African tribes, there are some very common characteristics: facing your fear, being reborn, and coping with uncertainty are all critical parts of these initiations.
Why Were These Rituals Necessary?
Upon contemplation, it becomes very clear why these rituals were necessary. The world that we live in is radically different than the world that our ancestors lived in. A tribe of weak men meant extinction; there was no “military,” or “safety.” If the men could not protect the tribe, it would not be protected.
Imagine, right now, if a marauding band of 25 vandals roamed into your neighborhood. They were all extremely jacked, mean looking, and each one was carrying some sort of weapon; a baseball bat, a stick, or a crowbar. Do you think that you and your neighbors would have the balls to fight them off?
You, being a reader of ROK, may very well fight a noble fight—but your neighbors? I seriously doubt that a purple-haired, complaining, self-castrating feminist “man” would be of any use during a battle such as this.
Now, try to imagine that this sort of thing happened fairly regularly for our ancestors. It was not uncommon for neighboring tribes to frequently attack you, so it was an absolute necessity that the men be trained for battle. But, being trained for battle requires more than physical strength.
It requires ferocity, it requires strength of will, decisiveness, assertiveness, and a complete lack of fear. These are the characteristics that rites of passage were meant to breed, for without them, a tribe would go extinct.
Are These Rituals Still Necessary?
Someone might point out that we aren’t at war anymore, so these rituals aren’t necessary. Although I agree that we aren’t in a state of constant warfare anymore, I still believe that these rites of passage are extremely necessary. Here’s why.
Men and women both have distinct psychological makeups; there is no denying this, no matter how hard the Marxists cry and clamor. Men and women are different. Boys have an inherent desire to be a part of something greater than themselves, namely a tribe. Boys have an inherent desire to be welcomed into the world of men…and we aren’t getting it, because there isn’t even a world of men anymore.
The once sacred separation of the genders has been desecrated. Only a select handful of men’s organizations still exist: the manosphere, the Freemasons, and various other spiritual organizations. It used to be commonplace for gentleman’s organizations to exist everywhere, but they’ve become a thing of the past.
This is why, in large part, we’re experiencing such a crisis of masculinity; men don’t know who they are anymore. We don’t have any healthy male role models. All we’ve got is weak men who justify their weakness with feel good aphorisms. We want more, but we don’t get more.
Any man who is attuned to this can feel it; he can feel the general sense of boyishness that the adulthood of men seems to hold onto. There’s no chance for us to prove ourselves. There’s no dragons to slay, no enemies to fight off, and no fears to overcome.
And we’re suffering. We can feel it in our bones. Not only are men unnecessary, but we don’t even have opportunities to grow and develop like the men of the past. We don’t have any initiations or male guidance; no men to reassure our belonging in the tribe, no obstacles to face.
Learning Game: The New Initiation?
I believe that, although it isn’t perfect, game is a phenomenal substitute for this lack of a male initiation ritual. Game provides us with many of the characteristics that you need to be a man, and it has many of the characteristics that the old rituals of the past did:
- Destroys your ego
- Requires you to face your fears
- Forces you to be decisive, in times of uncertainty
- Develops confidence, ferocity, and a strong will
Again, obviously game isn’t perfect. One could certainly make the argument that one’s masculinity shouldn’t be contingent upon what women think, and I agree 100%. But do you know what? You may get into game for women’s approval, but any seasoned player knows that you actually STAY in the game for your own personal growth.
When men first start learning game, they get into it because their sex life isn’t what they want it to be. They think that learning game will get them girls, and it does. But something happens along the way—they start getting all of the sex that they could ever want, and they realize that game has changed them on a deeper level.
Game provides you with an outlet to overcome your anxiety, and to live life fearlessly; by consistently going out and facing your fears of rejection, you develop a certain fearless mindset that bleeds into other areas of your life.
Learning game creates a whole-personality transformation, that cannot be found anywhere else. No other hobby, outlet, or activity will change you as much as game does, aside from an actual initiation conducted by the men of the past.
Game Makes You A Man
Game will transform you from a boy into a man, for a vast number of reasons. First off, game demolishes your ego. A lot of men have this delusion that they could get any hot girl that they want, but they are forced to face reality when they actually go out and try to pull girls.
This is why so many men hate game, and can’t handle it: you’re forced to face reality very quickly, and most men can’t take this. When you start to go out and learn game, you have one of two choices:
- Accept that you suck with girls, and keep trying to improve
- Viscerally deny reality and perpetuate your delusions by never going out and experiencing rejection
Most men choose the latter. Their ego is far too precious, and they can’t handle it being challenged. Those men who do have the courage to demolish their ego, however, will end up bedding women more gorgeous than they ever imagined (take my word for it).
Second, learning game requires you to face your fears. Think of how many men have approach anxiety nowadays; do you think that this underlying anxiety might bleed into other areas of their life? Of course! So once you overcome your approach anxiety in pickup, this fearlessness will bleed into other areas of your life. In other words, you’re starting to develop a totally new personality that isn’t afraid of living life and taking risks.
Game forces you to be decisive in times of uncertainty. A lot of the time, in fact most of the time, you don’t know whether or not a girl’s friends will be okay with you. You don’t know if she has a boyfriend, you don’t know if she lives nearby, you don’t know this, you don’t know that. When it comes to game, there’s a lot of uncertainty.
This is why learning game teaches you to accept uncertainty and make take decisive action in the face of it. What other skill could be more masculine? The men of the past revered this skill, because it’s what their entire livelihood was based around.
You see a pack of deer 100 feet away; you don’t know if you can kill them or not. Should you take the risk? An enemy tribe is attacking; should you run to your hut and get a better weapon, or pick up a rock and do what you can? You’re injured and alone, but you see a nearby village; should you ask them for help? Would they kill you or heal you?
Learning to take decisive action in the face of uncertainty was a skill that every man had for millenia; his life depended on it. Now, the only way to cultivate this skill is through game or other, more extreme measures, such as fighting in a war or something (although even then, you won’t have much freedom to make decisions).
All in all, game will take you from a boy to a man. It will teach you to be confident, and to become completely detached from either rejection or acceptance from women. It will help you to develop assertiveness and social calibration.
Most importantly, however, it will teach you to overcome your fears. In the words of my favorite pickup mentor: “Learning game is an Odyssey of the mind.” It teaches you to overcome your fears, to face your lingering negative beliefs, and to grow as a man. Our society gives us no right of passage, so we’ve created our own. Go out and learn game, for it will change your life.
Read More: 6 Things Indian Guys Have To Understand When Learning Game
I think sports perhaps also serve that purpose. Especially sports like boxing and mma where there is a real risk.
Competition in general, especially against rivals. Just think of American-Canadian hockey games. That’s why I love hockey and other physical macho sports.
Agreed. Sports and/or martial arts are needed to grow past childhood. I played baseball as a kid and started learning Aikido in high school. Best thing my parents ever did for me.
Aikido? Lol
The easiest way to get stupid good with women overnight is to stop masturbating, period.
The problem is getting that through the thick skull of a horny young man.
I am not able to stop it yet. I need it to distract myself from pain. It’s getting better, though.
Check out accountability programs like Fortify…it may be the missing piece for you
Yeah, no thanks. That’s ass backwards, just like anonymous alcoholics. The problem is not pornography, but the pain I’m running from. I’m working on that with meditation.
Meditation is a fucking awesome substitute for masturbation.
The good feeling of the latter is short, sharp and intense- but leaves you feeling drained and weak afterwards.
The good feeling of the former is longer, more subtle and mild- but leaves you feeling re-focused, relaxed and powerful all at once.
The way I see it, if you have 10 minutes to fap, you have 10 minutes to meditate. The trick is to think about how you would rather feel when you’re done…
Try an remember the werewolf analogy ,shooting your load is similar to the man changing into a werewolf but in reverse. Remember you want to be the werewolf stay in werewolf mode , don’t change back into a weak man
Sure, it makes sense to me on a rational level. No denying that.
This.
I just did that.
On the tenth day of starving myself, it got bad but after that, the urge simply vanished. I realized it was nothing but an addiction, like sugar or alcohol.
Embrace the pain, it’s the ego leaving your body.
A man who faps on the regular is like a timid kitten.
A man who abstains is like a lion.
Both are cats, but their presence and the sound of their roar is completely different!
*EDIT*
I want to expand on this idea further…
Ideally, if you are not in a LTR (or marriage) then you wouldn’t be fapping OR sleeping around. I say ideally, but of course we don’t live in an ideal world. We live in a world of flawed people with poor judgement who are always learning and trying to get stronger- and that’s just the ones who aren’t anaesthetised by a steady junk food diet of MSM, narcotic pleasures and the aimless amble of the herd they surround themselves with.
Has there ever been a time where it’s been more challenging to be a man, in the normal sense of that word?
Maybe.
But in the same way that The Empire State Building rose up out of the ashes of The Great Depression, never before has there been greater opportunity for a man to stand out like a beacon in this fallen society. Trump or the idea of Trump is not enough- we must do our part too.
With such scarcity of men with initiative, focus, willingness to learn and balls- a man who develops these qualities is highly sought after. He has no problem attracting women or men into his life, and he shares his message not through by what he says so much as who he is.
“That’s nice, but how does this relate to jerking off?” you ask.
A man who jerks off every day is like a man who sleeps with a multitude of women- both have little/ no life-force within them. Their balls are constantly drained and they are distracted easily. They are tuned out, in a haze like that of drug-addict, brain fogged out to the smaller details of their daily life and the world they exist in because the draining of their seed has made them less ‘tuned in’ and less alert.
I advise anybody who hasn’t, to read the chapter on ‘Sex Transmutation’ from Napoleon Hills’ 1937 classic ‘Think and Grow Rich’. It expands further on this fact: The power of thought, emotion and (ultimately) energy that you devote to sexual expression or release, can be equally channeled into nearly any other area you wish.
If a man devotes that time, energy and thought he’s been using to chase fleeting sexual encounters or jerking off into, say, music, painting, sporting activities, writing, managing his business or leadership in some form- the results are such that even he might not believe them if he were to see them now. Instead of fucking women with his penis or himself with the palm of his hand, he fucks the world around him through his expression, his deeds or his actions. And his world responds in the same way as a girl on her knees, looking up at him with the puppy-dog eyes. The world keeps on coming back for more…
Growing up in church and reading books by Christian authors, they did a lousy job of explaining this concept beyond “Don’t masturbate because it’s sinful and something something Bible verse about fleeing the evil desires of youth”. Telling a 16 year old male not to relieve his sex drive on the grounds that it is sinful is akin to hoping that a car red-lining in top gear shouldn’t cross a white line on the road because the rules say don’t cross that line.
Instead, the message we should be sending to the young men (in church and elsewhere) is that INSTEAD of wasting your time and energy with jerking off and pornographic stimulation, use that time and energy for other things- and not only will the girls still come into the picture, but they’ll be better quality.
The beauty of a man who learns to transmute his masculine “drive” and his sex energy is also this: He becomes more adept at identifying a woman of value. Instead of wasting time with whores or other girls of low-value, he only considers the attention of women who are WORTH the sacrifice.
Because the true purpose of marriage is that while you are the leader in that relationship and head of the household, you are aware that you are giving up some of your “drive” and sex energy for the sake of this woman- and the new life that comes from it. In its’ most purest sense, when a man marries, he is effectively telling the world “I am happy to sacrifice my energy and my drive for the sake of THIS woman’s affection and attention- and the family that will come from this.”
You are literally (Hitler) seeing the concept of Christ dying and giving himself up for the sake of new life, played out when a man of high focus, high energy and high sex-drive gives this away so that his bride may be satisfied and new life may be given. But the release is ever so sweet.
I tell you what, if somebody had put it to me like this in church when I was 15, the next 10 years of my life would’ve been quite different…
The comments on this post are almost as good as the post itself, CaptainHaddock & Curt. I would like you to read your opinion on this post too https://experimentandstandardize.wordpress.com/2016/11/30/do-not-exit-the-paycheck-loop/
I liked the article and I think it had a lot of relevant points of consideration for guys (generally) under the age of 25. I agree that “Getting rich” shouldn’t be the sole principle for a young man to pursue a particular career. But I’m a little older, I’ve done my time grinding away the hours to make other people rich- now I’m learning and developing my skills in order to build my own empire.
Thank you for the feedback. I think those grinding hours are the foundation for your empire, not necessarily skill-wise but on a motivational/maturity level. It’s the phase I’m in right now after realizing (three failed start-ups) I’m not ready for creating my own business yet. Thank you again.
Great article. Yes, I can feel the boyhood in my bones very often.
Other than game, I think meditation can also take you pretty far. Psychedelics also force you to confront your fears. Both in conjunction are great. For most people, Ayahuasca is also a great ceremony. I travelled to Peru for that. (Although I was too fucked up to take much from it)
Also, you can play with the frog poison ritual. The material can be bought for around 50$ and shipped to your country. I don’t know of legal restrictions. I wrote an article on my blog detailing the process of using the frog poison. Basically, depending on dosage, it puts you into a lot of pain and to deal with it, ego is just in the way.
The problem is that that is not a rite of passage. No one cares what you do to yourself with frog poison, so it is at best an incomplete ritual.
So in your opinion what matters is the recognition by other men? Not sure about that, tbh.
Actually, that’s wikipedia’s opinion. Moreover, I think recognition is essential to any rite of passage for the simple reason that something has to change, i.e. you have to pass from something to something else. Fundamentally, a rite of passage is about taking on the additional loyalties, rights, and responsibilities of an adult man. Without some form of outside recognition, the experience doesn’t fix anything in your mind, and you just revert back to the boy that you were. People’s ideologies are essentially functions that input the environment and output actions, and without a change in input the output will converge back to the previous output.
Hm. Maybe. I can’t say I agree, but who knows
Success in most things in life whether women, money, and worldliness in general increases one’s ego, a false perception of reality and heightened sense of self constructed through one’s own various successes in life.
I’d bet my money that success in game more likely than not will end up just substituting one ego-bubble for another for most men.
Real self-destruction of the ego occurs through deep meditation, introspective contemplation, failure in pursuits in life, overcoming existential threats that put your life in danger and other means, which is what many of the rituals you’ve outlined were designed to do.
It’s at that point people actually start thinking about the nature of reality and existence, and realizing how little they actually are and how short our time here is and we should make the best of it for ourselves while balancing it for others around us.
Of course, everyone is free to live their life as they want, but let’s not delude ourselves into thinking that success in game will lower one’s ego because for most men, it won’t.
..
May depend on the person. The ego can cling itself to practically anything.
But I don’t think you can really do game without facing some amount of ego destruction, because you will likely be rejected many times and make you question a lot about yourself. But then, I think that this only works if you truly open your heart while doing it. Whenever I tried it, I did the opposite. I pushed all emotions away and ‘powered through’.
But then, I did the same while sparring in Muay Thai (I did not compete, though).
I agree about meditation. Great thing.
“I’d bet my money that game more likely than not will end up just substituting one ego-bubble for another for most men”
I hear you, but I disagree. Not every chick a man games is going respond favorably – especially if the chick is real hot. In fact, for young guys starting out most crash and burn – this definitlely does a number on the ego.
Could you comment a bit more on what you mean by destruction of the ego through meditation and contemplation?
Meditation can greatly help you focus and lower the ego, which will help realign your sense of self and ultimately help you in connecting with the divine (if you so choose).
For example, one of my cousins challenged me to spend an entire month alone in the woods with just a tent and only $10 for food and water, no gadgets and only a notebook with a pen. The first time I tried, I was pompous and failed miserably because I thought it was going to be so easy. I was still craving the luxury I had been brought up in and had taken for granted for my entire life. The second time I was successful because I deeply contemplated why I had failed the first time when I wasn’t used to failing anything I had set my mind on.
Contemplation [of the nature of reality, existence, mysticism, God, etc. (works in tandem with meditation)] helps increase the depth of your mind and is all about thinking deeply to learn, especially from your own mistakes, but much more importantly, the mistakes of others so you don’t waste time and energy making those same mistakes yourself: thinking in depth what happened, why it happened and why it won’t happen to me and those I care about around me. It will force you to be self-critical (lowering the ego) and understand your own failures and establish your limitations.
Meditation helped me focus much better on my objective in life and understand that most of what was happening around me was just noise.
Through these experiences and many others, overcoming numerous setbacks and challenges I had faced in life, my ego lowered greatly from thinking I was a genius back in my younger years (having graduated valedictorian). Through meditation, I was able to have a better understanding of where I stand in relation to the rest of world and universe.
Meditation for greater focus together with ego lowering experiences (either deliberately self-inflicted or from external influences out of your control) and living a stoic life will take you far.
Thank you, that is extremely helpful.
“One rite of passage, of the Aborigines to be specific, entailed kidnapping a young boy from his mother.”
Wow, I wish someone would have done that to me! To get away from that shrill, manipulative, controlling, narcissistic witch. If my father had given a sh*t, he would have stepped in and took over, or at least had the decency to send me to military school. No such luck…
“Do you think that you and your neighbors would have the balls to fight them off?”
Not sure how long I would last, but me and my 870 would try our best.
Good article. But I really have my doubts about “game” being a rite of passage. Without the athletic build (and many if not most of us can work out all we like without getting that build. Fit and trim? Yes. But male model like? Very rare), square jaw, thick head of hair, and whatever else attracts females to males, “game” ain’t gonna do it. Game is great for handsome guys who are shy. A “nerd”, “geek”, ugly guy or even a regular guy with “game”? Possible if not probable laughing stock.
But then again, maybe I am wrong…
I think you are wrong. I’d say those externalities are not that important compared to confidence and shit. If you look at the world as a, say, energetic reality, then you can feel how looks are just superficial decoration while the real stuff happens in the ‘minds’.
If you look at the gurus of the manosphere, most of them aren’t really that physically impressive.
Another example is myself, although it is a very limited example. I am relatively tall (6ft), but I am overweight, not a very good figure and no muscles at all. And I dress like a bum, literally. It’s almost winter and I go out with sandals, shorts and a t-shirt. On my shorts is a big permanent stain, But when I am in the right ‘mood’ and walk through the streets, I get the looks from girls. In such a mood, I carry myself very well and there’s hardly a shred of fear in me. That said, I didn’t actually approach girls, so take it with a grain of salt. Still, I can clearly see a very big difference in how girls (and men) look at me depending on my mood, both times with the same subpar ‘looks’. It ranges from disgust and contempt to that cute smile and lowered heads.
Hello Mr. Arrow.
I am 6’1″ 170. I have been doing moderate workouts our pretty much regularly for over 30 years, since my late teens. I was 6’1″ 115 (really!) when I graduated high school @17.Needless to say, I took an enormous load of sh*t growing up. By my mid 20s I was 185 — lifting weights regularly. According to charts I have read, I am in the 93rd percentile for salary & net worth in the US . And even though I am 50 now, people tell me I could pass for early 30s.
With that said, I can honestly state that at no time in my life has any female shown even one ounce of attraction towards me. I believe this has to do with bone/facial structure and proportionality, and maybe a few other things, like them being able to tell that I was/am a natural born ectomorph. I sincerely believe that physicality determines all aspects of our lives, especially success or failure with females.
In any case, if it weren’t for cheap booze and expensive hookers, I probably would have cashed it in a long time ago.
Hm. Well, surely it plays a role. There are people out there who are seriously unlucky with their faces and I can imagine how they’d have a hard time. But those are really a minority. Most people I see on the street have decent faces. I guess what I meant to say was that you don’t need a Brad Pitt (or whatever) like face to get attention. A friend of mine who grew up getting no attention whatsoever is now figuring it out, even without classical “game”, and he has an average face, I’d say (good hair though).
Salary … I’d exclude that completely personally. A girl on the street can’t see your salary, catch my drift?
You said nothing about your personality, all in all. Would you call yourself confident and at peace with who you are? (without having to fake it) It’s kinda unfair. Life, that is. Those who seem to need the most love get the least, heh.
I think it’s hard to tell the reason for why one is not attractive. In a few cases it may be very obvious, but other times it ain’t. Like with any problem in this life.
But I still believe that confidence (or rather self-love) is the one key to the puzzle that’s universal. And I don’t just mean a feminine kind of ‘loving kindness’ or whatever. I mean loving who you are, like, badass-style even.
Maybe that’s not an issue for you and you still don’t get ass … hmm. Then my theory may need some tuning!
Btw, I think there are many famous artists and such who are ectomorphs and get a lot of attention nonetheless.
Personality – I am not confident at all. Perhaps at work (IT consultant w/ 29 years experience) I have a fair amount of confidence, but nowhere else. I guess you can say I am an introvert. A loner. Socially awkward. I am not the type of guy who would start a conversation with a stranger…unless she is an escort. I am not shy at all with them. Not a great life, but I figure its still better than being married to a fat, miserable, middle aged woman, like so many guys my age. But I have to say, when I see a guy with a pretty girlfriend who looks at him in “that way”, and goes out of her way to do things for him, I know that I missed out in life.
See, I think this is the real source of your misery. This kind of stuff we often think has to do with how we look (intuitive thinking), but it doesn’t. Confidence and basic trust is something that is formed very early in life and when it’s messed up, I think it requires some extended deep meditation or other form of therapy to solve.
I’ve actually been thinking about going back to Church…just thinking about it, not sure it will happen. I am Catholic. Would be hell of a confession for the priest who would get to hear it.
Well, I can’t really comment on that. But whatever works for you is good in my book.
You should read Chateau Heartiste if you think geeks can’t use game effectively.
I am not quite sure what to think of CH … that guy doesn’t even show his face. It could theoretically just be a reasonably smart dude who is bullshitting everybody.
Btw Bob, remember how you said the elite likes to put their notions into names?
Tell me what you see in the word ‘therapist’.
Psycho
The
Rapist
I got this from the movie “The Brothers Grimsby”. Just watched it. A magnificent piece, newest from Sacha Baron Cohen. Politically incorrect as fuck, as you’d expect. Also, somehow this movie manages to have better action scenes than any Hollywood movie I saw in the past 4 years.
I’ll check it out. I actually got that from the Sean Connery / jeopardy scratch on SNL of all places
One (two) line from the movie:
“Congratulations on the kid”
“Oh this? I am not pregnant. [short pause] I am just darn fat”
“Game provides you with an outlet to overcome your anxiety, and to live life fearlessly;
by consistently going out and facing your fears of rejection, you
develop a certain fearless mindset that bleeds into other areas of your
life.”
It’s not that we are scared of rejection, it is that we find it pointless and time-consuming to often approach women just to get rejection in 95 % of cases. I lift weights and take trips in the nature, that is better improvement than chasing women. I happen to have a relationship with a very attractive and nice woman, but even when I am single, I find much better tasks than embarassing myself by approaching random women in (it might work different in the US, I live in Sweden and here daygame is useless unless you meet a freshly arrived foreign chick or tourist,
Sweden is cuck-central of the world, so that may have something to do with the women.
In the US, if you have good game and your life is together, you can expect to pull a cute girl in any major city whenever you go out.
A lot of guys are scared shitless of rejection, but just use the “women aren’t worth it,” excuse to justify their cowardice.
If you’re getting rejected by 95% of girls you need to read the “Game” section on my blog, mate. Not being a dick, just for real – but again, it could be different in Sweden, or maybe you aren’t going to the right venues.
I don’t fear rejection as much as I fear shame and guilt … some childhood shit issues. This is much worse than the fear of rejection. But then, maybe it is interconnected. When I get politely rejected, I usually don’t hurt at all. But when the woman makes me feel like I’m “bad” for approaching her, that puts me in a bad place.
That’s the worst kind of self-doubt: when you actually say to yourself “maybe I am a loser!”
Fight it, squash it down!
I fought it all my life. I switched to giving it love. That makes it go away much better.
how could you love self-doubt?
There is no how. Do or do not do. 🙂
Speaking of being a dick, one of the most important parts of getting girls is being a bit of a dick.
“I lift weights and take trips in the nature, that is better improvement than chasing women”
I hear this from a lot of men – but female affection i.e. a pussy to dump your load into is essential. Pursuing other things to improve oneself is good, but it does not eliminate the need for sex.
Huh no its not essential. Food, water, oxygen those things are essential you die without those things, no man has ever died from not getting laid. Sure its fun but it aint essential.
“No man has ever died from not getting laid. Sure its fun but it aint essential”
I hear ya – and technically you are correct, but I have found that life is better when one had access to a chick for sex.
Ok I’ll be moving to the US to meet easy women.
What took me years to learn is to not invest yourself emotionally before you ask a girl out.
Gaming women is NOT a rite of passage.
A sporting competition is a rite of passage. A debate competition is a rite of passage. A fighting competition is a rite of passage. A quiz bowl competition is a rite of passage. Hell, a gardening competition is a rite of passage.
Note the word “competition”.
A boy has to undergo the rite of passage FIRST. Then, once he’s become a man, he’ll have the proper perspective to deal with women.
Gaming women means you are competing with other men around, plus the cock-blocking ugly girls, plus the girls’ own shit tests. There is a lot of competition and struggle implied in gaming women. Especially in the West. Women are obstacles and they are part of the way too.
Anything that demands you, to confront your fear of failure, channels your ego. Game is indeed a rite of passage, especially for straight men in modern times.
Gaming women as a standalone thing? No.
But it’s important as part of the foundation of a rite of passage. Certainly in the modern age.
Btw, the book ‘Brave New World’ touches upon the desire for initiation rites multiple times in its story arc.
Another book where what is essentially a utopia is presented as a dystopia. That would be a great article. 5 literary places presented as dystopias that are actually eutopias
I don’t agree at all. It’s the perfect nightmare in my eyes, especially after my experiences with psychiatry. They live in a dream world. They aren’t happy. They just have pills to make them feel happy.
But it would be an interesting topic and I would certainly like to read your interpretation of it in this way, for shits and giggles.
All worlds are dream worlds…
Yeaaaah, in some ways that may be true. In other ways, we do function in certain ways and do have internal drives in this reality. When they are suppressed, we suffer and exist as half-humans. This article actually makes a great point about that.
Doesn’t this still exist in the form of Basic Combat Training in the armed forces?
Maybe that was so in the past. Personally, I haven’t participated in that, so no idea. But someone whose judgments I partially trust has written an article about the Navy that doesn’t make me believe this to be very true (anymore). I published it on my blog:
http://manwithoutfather.com/2015/11/22/u-s-navy-the-false-dream-of-serving-the-country/
I’d say a big component of this initiation rite is to want to be among men … who appreciate this in you and want you to be your own man. Listening to orders by a crazy government and just being a pawn for ludicrous ideologies … that’s not very manlike to me.
I was indoctrinated as a white knight tradcon beta. It took a lot of time to bust out my little bubble, but I remember
-the first time I broke up with a girl, just because I didnt want to date her anymore.
-the first time I blew off a date, just because.
-the first time I was a complete jerk to a girl, and she liked it. Alot.
-the first time I told a girl “I don’t dance.” And she followed me around all night like a kicked puppy dog.
-the time I drove up to an exes’ house to get my box o’ stuff and her new boyfriend ran out the back door.
-The look on her face when she told me he was afraid of me.
-the look on her face when I laughed and said “have fun with that.” Before walking away forever.
-That time I said the exact right thing at the exact right moment, and for a flicker in time I was God himself.
Damn it feels good to be a gangster.
,,And then…God made man in His image.”
Welcome back, friend !
Horny 12 year old boys gaming elementary school girls is the image I’m getting here…
Read the whole thing again, a little more slowly.
I know the article’s main point is different, but the end result in learning game is to attract females.
Indeed. Similarly, while the main point of any competitive sport is to vanquish your opponent, the collateral effects of doing it in the first place are numerous.
In a society with 1000 dysfunctional genders, straight men are only left with the following path:
Become your best self. Learn game. Reserve LTR for that rare girl. There is no other way to be, anymore.
Yep. LTRs are for unicorns, and unicorns are hard to find.
Because they are definitely much much easier to train, but bitter old straight women are trying to make it even harder, by encouraging liberal slutiness and discouraging creepy courtship.
No wonder all these other dysfunctional genders are mainstream now.
Feminism empowering women to destroy whole societies. What a mess.
I’m reminded of the fish/farmers market in my town. If you get there just an hour after it opens, the best deals are already gone. Nice women, after all, are ready for a relationship but their mid-20’s. They’re biologically ready and don’t need a career so they often wind up settling and that’s where the single mothers in their 30’s who divorced a loser are often created from. It’s not their fault. I even pity them. I didn’t marry one though.
I struggled but didn’t give up and got married in my mid-30’s to a woman 10 years my junior. This is something men can do. I could have married a woman my age when I was 25 but for personal reasons I had a lot of growing up to do.
In theory, some women can do the same and often do: Women from bad blue collar backgrounds with a dozen welfare mothers on the block and it’s admirable that they go to trade school to learn nursing and get out. Perhaps by their early 30’s, they’ve gotten past their, er, past as well. It does happen.
The challenge in the states is that there’s so much out that that ruins women: In college, blue haired feminism is out to ruin them. Then there’s sleeping around in their 20’s. Materialism and getting spoiled by beta males. Even so, if I hadn’t gotten married to a younger woman I did see many interesting career woman candidates in their 30’s who had families with LOADS of money and merely wanted a man to give them a LITTLE game, buy them a few dinners, and that would be that. I was too proud back then. Looking back, I realize I had squandered that opportunity but I’m happy with how things worked out.
But note that a “LTR” with such women isn’t easy. Note by “career woman” I don’t mean a doctor or professor who has a massive ego that makes life with her hell. I mean someone such as a woman working in a white collar office environment as a programmer or chemical engineer. You can never really let your hair down with them. They are still women after all. But overall, I know many of them and they’re largely quite likable.
I have to agree. Learning game is often the first step in grabbing life by the balls. Not to mention that guys today have to deal with the most entitled females in history.
I was a confused young man, when it came to women, up until I found game in my early 20’s (and also before The Game was published, I found it on the old news groups sites on campus). After reading everything I could I then joined up with a small underground group of fledgling PUA’s who called themselves The Coven. After about six months of running game in town bars my eyes began to open not only to just women but also politics and lifestyle. It all flowed from learning game. The pretty little lies I had been indoctrinated with just vanished.
The journey of Mr. Roosh himself!
Took me over a decade after leaving school before I had my red pill experience followed by learning game as a by product of the red pill experience – this included casually telling a chick “who cares” when she said she didn’t want anything to do with me if didn’t do what she told me,
shafting a woman after she tried to dump on me at work,
walking away from a female dentist because she was so unreliable and telling her bosses that when she tried the usual female mind games took it all in my stride.
Really guys facing your fears in regards to women is one of the best things to master.
Reminds me of Basic Training when I joined the Army.
“. Although I agree that we aren’t in a state of constant warfare anymore”
Wait until the system collapses and watch constant warefare 21st century style begin.
Excellent points the author makes about game.
Learning game also is important in order to learn about womem – to pull them off the pedestol so a young man can realize just how vapid, self-entitled, vain and annoying they are.
This is important so he can start budgeting his time more effecientlly – once he realizes there are no unicorns, he can spend limited time in pursuit of pussy (though it is important to pursue pussy to an extent) more time pursuing things like developing himself as a man – starting a business, or other pursuits more worthwhile.
I was fortunate enough to experience the 25 day Outward Bound program some years ago. I believe its built on the ‘rite of passage’ concept. Having an old school type tradesman type Dad also helped with instilling masculine values. Didn’t get a lot from him regarding gaming women, though.
Game is necessary for men. When women want to enforce their idea of equality & empowerment, notice it’s an appeal to a ‘higher authority’ to get that done for them. All legislation & documentation drivel from an external dominant entity. That’s fine.
Men don’t think that way. Nor should we. We take what we want. We make things happen. We close the ego & ignorance gap between wishing for something to happen & making it happen. Game should be part of the foundation stone of a young man’s development.
When i learned game, i became more tough, seductive, muscular, rightwing,anti feminist, anti lesbian, anti sjw, anti leftist, pro trump, nationalist, more traditionnalist, anti media, anti social networks, anti blue pill and so on.
In a nutshell i became a man,or at least what a self respected man should be imo
1. how does learning game make you tougher?
2. why are you anti-lesbian? they are inconsequential to your game
3. a self-respected man doesn’t need an outside opinion on what he should be
4. are you 14?
Just learn and perhaps you will understand.
I’m respect myself pretty well, thanks.
But that answer now makes me think you’re 14 and own at least 3 fedoras.
Haha think whatever you want. I don’t care about opinions of some random Motherfucker like you. Bye
Edgy. Even ended your statement with a sassy ‘bye’!
1. You face your fears, and learn that rejection isn’t the end of the world.
2. Most of them are full of shit at best, mentally ill at worst.
3. right – that’s why someone can’t “teach” you this
4. Ideally we should be starting this at 14, but most childhoods are poorly managed.
2. still, inconsequential in the game realm. They aren’t your goal or your competition, so being anti-lesbian does absolutely nothing if it has zero impact on your game.
Agreed, being anti-anything without action is a waste of sentiment.
everything else though? understood.
‘Kill the boy, John Snow & let the man be born’.
A quote from Rudolf Steiner! Fucking A man!
Wow, this was some deep shit.
Sound argument.
Learn game and you get to be their unicorn!
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6413f1629e3917431143e765fd83b2ab1a18ad67e2ad97379f51507ce1887c6a.jpg
Game shows you how to game other women and use techniques to seduce them, flirt with them and get them to bed.
Red pill shows you the truth about nature of women and what they are capable of.
Know both and maximize your looks and you will never have trouble with women.
“Game” as a right of passage? … lol. How about setting and achieving goals? Or pursuing dreams? That takes way more guts than chasing pussy.
CHECK OUT THIS HOT PIC OF MY BITCH! ENJOY! 😉 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/719aa059a705c623dc57b6cb0660cc5b6b0bb4b2888b11e28e212e6ccc0535d4.jpg
I’m older and my observations: Back about 40 years ago, nearly every man had “game” which caused a lot of the problems in this country today. After all, how did we get from there to here? It wasn’t all leftist elites at the Illuminati.
When I went overseas, I was stunned at how little “game” i needed in that women were more respectful, appreciative, and kind towards men. Note that women play “games” too. They’re labeled as “hypergamy” and The Rules, but it appears to me that these created hostility between Anglo men and women rather than enhancing them.
Of course, there’s no harm to being tactful and mannered and aggressive about getting what you need. A raise or promotion rarely will just be handed to you. Even as feminists claim that their lagging salaries is due to discrimination, they admit that not asking for a raise because they don’t want to appear aggressive is partly their own fault and the government can’t handhold them forever.
Sometime, I think, during the “sexual revolution”, men wanted one night stands and a lot of women were putting out even if a fraction of the population so a lot of men back then “gamed” and a lot of women played “The Rules” and this became a part of American culture moreso than elsewhere even though back then only about 10 percent of the population was like that.
Even on RoK, PUAs will advise that game is only a small part of your toolbox for growth: You have to get in shape physically, mentally, and financially. You can become “Disco Stu” and hit the clubs in an old but well maintained BMW and nice suit and get laid by sharing a nice “crach pad” with other PUA’s, but eventually, it will wear out. Even Roosh is starting to get old. But more importantly, “gamers” and PUA’s wind up “spooking the fish” and that’s how I think we got to this point. Lazy women wind up demanding more and more game.