Game Will Not Lead To Instant Success

Like many of you, I was eager to put into practice the tools I had gotten from the manosphere once I became red pilled.  It is easy to get excited and want to actualize your potential, especially if you are coming from a place of scarcity in terms of women and success.  You imagine yourself living like Dan Bilzerian, screwing a different European supermodel every night and then kicking her to the curb, making tons of money, and just generally being admired by all the beta male onlookers.

It does not take long to realize that, as with all things, this takes time.  But when you have fully swallowed the red pill, it can be frustrating to have to purposefully hold onto blue pill tendencies while you wait to mature and gain experience.  I am going to provide some explanations as to why you need to be careful in this game, and then I will briefly and clearly expand on how.

My experience

When I was totally new to game, the idea of being the hunter and going out and getting what I want was highly appealing.  As a disenfranchised male just wanting women to give me the time of day, this newly created persona felt so right.  I began walking with my chest out, with confidence, assured of what I am about to get out of life.  And that is exactly where I went wrong.  

When I would say things like “Ball’s in your court; I don’t have all day” to girls who I figured were playing me, it wasn’t coming from a sincere place of alpha manhood.  When I would apply the Chateau’s 2:3 text rule, figuring it would win me over the girl’s approval, it accomplished nothing but made it harder to communicate what I needed to say.  When I would say edgy things to girls I was making moves on, it would just come off as bitter and mean.  After a while, I became increasingly frustrated and baffled by why none of this was working.

The easy answer, which I found everywhere, was that you need to work on your inner game first and foremost.  That means building an impressive body, distancing yourself from the stresses of the world, abstaining from pornography, and building a solid male friend base.  

No doubt this was mainly good advice, but it presented some problems.  I, like many others new to the manosphere at the time, was entering this world having formerly relied on waiting for others’ approval and taking the easy route.  This now felt eerily like that.  I could make the excuse that I wasn’t spinning more plates or even approaching more girls because “I’m working on my inner game first.”  

The two extremes and the risk of rejection

This is exactly what is wrong with these two extremes (on one hand, jumping straight into forced, aggressive game and on the other hand, avoiding game entirely to read books and lift).  In either situation, I was taking the easy route and protecting myself from rejection.  Read that line again, because it is important.

We protect ourselves from the potential of heartache or failure.  What if that girl doesn’t like me? What if this class is too hard? By “taking time to focus on inner game,” we very clearly do not have to worry about the cold feeling of rejection.  And, by the same token, aggressive game (negging being the perfect example) allows you to stay in your shell and dismiss rejections on account of “she wasn’t worth my time anyway.”  

Rejection stings so much because it is perceived to be a rejection of everything we are: everything we have worked for up to this point, the ups and downs, the identity we have of ourselves, and our ultimate understanding of our place in the world.  To have that flipped on its head by some girl you met just minutes ago is painful.  It’s painful, but it’s important.

Before you can begin to employ the confident, assertive strategies of an alpha male, you must become that alpha male.  And while inner game is integral to that, nothing is to say you cannot approach right now.  What I am asking you beginners out there to do is to cold approach girls directly in a variety of settings.  Keep going, utilizing indirect game at times and direct game at others, doing it solo or with a wingman, trying sober or buzzed, until you start spinning some plates.  

Getting there is no merry-go-round, but it is a vital period of growth as a man.  Because once you become moderately more seasoned and now actually have reliable lays on call, you will have learned not to take the “sorry, I have a boyfriend” lie as personally.  And you won’t need to tell yourself that “she’s a slut anyway,” because you honestly will not care that much about what her reasoning is.  

Natural game

I am no pro now, but the confidence I exude when dealing with women I am intimate with or am actively courting feels natural.  Had I tried to force this confidence in my formative years, I would have come off as insincere and even more beta/insecure than I already was.  

Nowadays, it still takes some reminder that I should be making her chase me, but it feels more and more to be a part of who I am.  When I tell a girl who wants me to buy her a drink before we can dance that “I’ll let some other pathetic guy do that,” I do not walk away patting myself on the back for being such a Chad.  It does reaffirm for me that I am better than having to stoop to her little games, but I don’t have the mental burden of thinking about how alpha I’m being constantly.  When I go cold on a girl for a few days, it is because I am not feeling the reciprocity from her that I expect and so I genuinely am not interested in being her puppy.  

What I am saying is: patience, grasshopper.  I still hear men bragging about how they approach girls or what they say to girls they’re dating.  This insincerity leaks through and girls pick up on it.  Build the genuine version of yourself that does all the things you read about doing but naturally.  

Read More: 8 Solid Day Game Tips For Beginners

33 thoughts on “Game Will Not Lead To Instant Success”

  1. Two bulls are eating grass atop a bluff, directly above an expansive prairie. Suddenly, the younger bull sees a small herd of cows eating grass on the prairie below. He excitedly says to the older bull, “Let’s run down there and fuck one of ’em!” The older bull chews his cud thoughtfully for a minute or two, and finally exclaims, “No. Let’s walk down and fuck ’em all.”

  2. Yes to natural game. Can’t be stressed enough. Don’t create a persona that you read about. That old chestnut of, “Just be yourself,” is actually true as long as you’ve worked on your inner game first (i.e. don’t be yourself if all you are is a beta, work on yourself first, THEN be yourself).
    It’s funny, I never needed to take the red pill, I was born into it since my dad and all my uncles were red pillers and would constantly tell me the stuff that’s written here (which I genuinely assumed most guys knew). Anyway, despite my headstart I do like game theory as there are always new tricks and tips, and I always try them out, and yet… still to this day I get my greatest success ratio from when I am genuinely not gaming e.g. I see a girl in the street looking at a map and I ask her if she needs help. Or I go to buy coffee and there are no spare seats besides one where a girl is and I ask if I can sit down. Or… I can go on.
    The general rule of thumb of indirect game is, don’t fake it, genuinely don’t be thinking about sex when you approach, just be in the moment chatting shit and you’ll drastically improve your odds.

  3. 1. Be an asshole
    2. Have an I don’t care attitude
    3. “When you run a perfect game day after day, it ain’t luck. It’s skill”.

  4. In the first 30 seconds of a sales call, you need to discover if the prospect is qualified, or if they are a tire kicker, so you can hang up quickly and get to your next call.
    Your opening lines with women serve the same purpose. Make it a habit of opening women and people in general and life will plop amazing hidden opportunities into your lap.

    1. You’ll receive interest or the cold shoulder within 30 seconds . It’s easier than most think. It doesn’t require buying kino books or attending bullshit pick up seminars

  5. Congruence is very important. You can walk with your chest forward but when you’re still fat they will tell it’s fake.

  6. The entire being yourself or the best version of yourself is a bit misguided. For instance, since there are gene-environment interactions, and things in your childhood affect how you behave later on, it is hard to either entirely “be yourself” or “be someone else”.
    However, since about 50% of your personality is genetic and 50% environmental, it is reasonable to add positive features from the environment; and those do seldom conflict with your unique essence as a person. For instance, if you are fat then you are as much yourself as when you are lean and muscular. In fact some things just go beyond the entire be yourself – be someone else dichotomy. It is essentially a false dichotomy.
    I agree with the contention that you should not try to be someone else, but on the other hand there is no reason to be 100% spontaneous and tell how you feel. Sometimes it can be really constructive, even powerful, to just tell the truth and speak from your mind and heart. But one come to think about dozens of other situations when the opposite is also true. So it all boils to down to finding a balance between being yourself and adding constructive elements, while simultaneously avoiding the negative.

  7. Does “game” even work?
    Unless you are a natural mesomorph with a square jaw and handsome face? Said it before and will say it again.
    Game is for handsome, muscular men who are shy.
    I could employ all the game in the world and at best it would land me a 5 or maybe a low end 6. I’ll stick with using $$$. Its an ego crusher, but at least I get to bang hot young 8s/9s/10s (10s are occasional of course).

    1. Yes game works. I’ve been a wingman for many of my friends who didn’t have game. I’ve taught the tips and tricks, that’s what friends do. One of them had zero game and was very average looking, and within 3 months was killing it.
      Game helps with the approach, which is the hardest part. Don’t knock game, knock your own application of it.

      1. I’ve never applied it.
        I have only ever used $$$ to get laid.
        51 and have been doing it for 31 years.

      2. I just don’t see all the hype in game. Flirting with intent (game) works. Of course, but as you go further, you get more specific on your target. You don’t spread a wide net because you now aim higher. What I’m saying is no matter your level of game, you won’t get that specific hottie. And MEN with power feel most powerful when they get what they want, when they want it.

    2. I am a handsome, muscular man who is shy. I have been timidly applying game, but bailing out of approaches a bit soon. Women are still treating me like garbage, so they don’t really care that you look good if you’re not amazing at “game” and making them feel good. Also, you missed tall, which is at the top of the list: height>face>muscles. You don’t really need muscles, waste of time. Just be thin with abs and of course tall and handsome. BTW i’m 5’9.

      1. The being tall component is a truth that is not always a truth. While there is seldom negative to be tall, it is often not enough to be tall. Neither is it always required to be so. We have already discussed this in one of my articles which specifically deals with this subject, but let’s recap and add a bit of perspectives.
        Let’s say there is person A: He is tall, 6.4, and thin, but lacks confidence, experience, style, perhaps positive facial features, and so on. And person B (for example me): He is 5.6 and thus many girls are literally of out his reach, but has confidence, social skills, nice athletic physique, hair on his had, better-than-average face, narcissistic tendencies so he speaks about his multiple trips around the world so girls become wet, and so on.
        Who will do best?
        To be short can be a deal breaker for many of the opposite sex, but sometimes you can sleep with taller girls. Taller guys without muscles HATE short jacked cocky alphas because they know that we are a threat. You can also sleep with girls of similar height or those that are shorter. I typically go for 5.0-5.7 but a few girls have been 5.8 and guess what, it is partly because of my big arms and shoulders that they like me.
        Something that has helped me deal with this is to think that if a girl who is 6 and perhaps turns me down because I am shorter (I can sense it or guess it), she is not a loss anyway. And I don’t mean that in a resentful way, just that I knew that it is only a matter of time before I met an 8 who doesn’t care about my short stature and instead look at other qualities that are more important or largely compensate. Likely she will be short but it is not always the case.

        1. Being tall or handsome are cosmetic things that add confidence and help grease the grooves but honestly how many people reading this site really think that’s what life’s all about; at least for men?
          This site is supposed to be about self-improvement and achievement and the only achievement in being tall or handsome is chewing food and sleeping at night as a child so you grow up to be roughly the kind of person you are today looks wise and that’s a foundation built on sand in the long term.
          Look at someone you perceive as gifted in that sense and ask yourself if that taller, more handsome guy can speak chinese better than you because of his looks? Is he a more accomplished dancer or martial artist because of his looks? Is he courageous but with a good heart that bleeds for the underprivileged? Can he work with his hands? Does he understand politics or economy?
          The only thing that being tall and handsome gets you is easier lays and perhaps easier entry to some blue collar jobs that no middle-aged man with a brain would like to do full time like being a bouncer.
          If that’s the biggest thing you want from life, then you’re playing the game of life on easy mode and there’s nothing wrong with that nor taking pride in what you look like but there’s so much more to life.
          Being a man is not about existing around while bearing certain cosmetic features, it’s about building yourself.

        2. Hello again Mr. Adams.
          Always enjoy your contributions.
          Speaking as a “tall” guy, I have never resented the shorter “mini hulks”. In fact, I admire them for the effort they put in.
          It also serves to prove my theory that mesomorphs (no matter the height) triumph over ectomorphs in attaining females. Coming from a guy who is 6’1″ and 170 lbs soaking wet…

        1. Thanks for the input. Always enjoy yours as well. Nines are better than four-and-a-halfs, which are what the bulk of men get from night game and online game.

      2. “You don’t really need muscles, waste of time”
        Meh. All men can look attractive with clothes on, that’s easy. But once bare naked in front of the girl you’re about to fuck, if your body is repulsive to the her, that’s a different story : she will be disappointed and see you as a fraud of some sort.
        Muscles help to be more attractive naked than when you are clothed. And that’s not useless at all.

        1. game happens well before naked.
          never had a woman run away after naked…even when out of shape.
          but plenty run away before.
          and plenty of fat guys get plenty of women.
          some would say be healthy, successful, etc for yourself and the woman will come. And game helps.
          Speaking of out of shape – managed NYC bar and had massive ankle break – living the nightlife and became 30lbs overweight. lived in utter shithole apartment. banged hot chicks every night.
          Being/working in an industry that attracts groupies trumps everything…

        2. [email protected] lots of fat guys getting laid. The only “fat” guys who get laid are tall and muscular with some fluff on top like a linebacker or rugby player aka still muscular. No short round guy is gonna fuck decent looking girls my nigga do you think we’re that gullible?

    3. Wtf? Why would a tall Chad need game? Women oftentimes will show IOIs or approach Chad. But most guys aren’t Chad. So what are you gonna do? Sit at home and complain you’re not good looking and get 0 pussy that way?
      Are you from lookism or sluthate? Lolz

  8. “you will have learned not to take the “sorry, I have a boyfriend” lie as personally. And you won’t need to tell yourself that “she’s a slut anyway,” because you honestly will not care that much about what her reasoning is”. The absolute red pill truth. The key to ZFG is to live with Zero F – – KS Given. It is strange how easy it is to maintain once you get there.

  9. I am not tall, do not have a full head of hair, and sport a nice pot. However, I am powerfully built in the upper body, as strong as an ox, smarter than many, and at least somewhat attractive. I have found that the women that seem to dig me the most are thin n slender east asians. Since I am most attracted to them too, it all works out.

  10. Again with the “European supermodels;” why do manospherians promote only skinny bitches as the be all and end all of life?

    1. No one likes fatties. If that is what they have, they pretend to like them. We all really want fit women with a healthy BMI

  11. Yes it is not instant but it works.
    Ignore the haters with their beta cries of, “Western women aren’t worth the effort,” or, “you’ll never find quality women with game.”
    You can if you want to. For me, it required a little driving away from my 7,000 person town but it worked, a lot.

  12. Why is porn so bad? Yea, it reduces your thrive (for sex, socializing) somewhat, sometimes, but… it’s a matter of balance, I think. I go out and I watch porn.

  13. Game helps a lot period.
    Its not just about women that it helps with. I sucked for a long time chasing & approaching from a desperate position. It’s quite clear any respectable woman don’t like desperate men. Attractive or Not Atrractive, It’s important to take action and get experience to help you understand what works and what doesn’t. Patience is serious vitrue in this crazy masculine hobby. I owe a lot just for the fact i’m confident in my own skin, whether I do pickup or not. There are some people who constantly do this and never feel satisfied no matter how many bitches they bed. It’s about being successful with women, it’s about being a MAN.

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