Wisdom

30 Questions To Ask Yourself For Self-Development

80 Comments

Rather than reading self-improvement books that merely regurgitate and repackage the same old wisdoms, it’s sometimes best to become a better version of yourself by practicing introspection. By uncovering your subconscious motivations and desires, you’ll achieve the awareness necessary to focus your drives on things that matter to you.

The following 30 questions will help you clarify the meaning of your life and discover what lies in your heart. Instead of just going through this list only to forget about it after couple of hours, I strongly suggest you take the time to think through each question and answer them as specifically as possible. It’s best if you get a sheet of paper and write out each answer for yourself.

The Questions

self-improvement
1. Why do I want self-improvement?

2. What would I do if fear wasn’t holding me back?

3. Who are my role models?

4. What is my purpose or mission in life? Do I need one?

5. If I could only achieve 20% of everything I currently want in life, what would they be? (Keeping Pareto principle in mind)


6. What do I have to do to live the perfect day? (Not in terms of what happens to you, but what you do)

7. What is the one thing that detracts most from my ability to be happy? What will I do about it?

8. What is the one bad habit that is impeding my ability to succeed? What am I willing to do about it?

9. What is my greatest fear? Would my life be better without it? Am I willing to overcome it?

10. How much money/power/sex do I think will make me happy?

11. What is the one thing that will bring more satisfaction and contentment in my life? What have I done in the past month to attain it? What will I do in the next month to attain it?

12. What are the five or less things that I must do before I die?

13. What is stopping me from being completely satisfied with what I already have?

14. How can I be happy while still going after the things I want?

15. In what ways will my life improve if I had better control over my mind?

16. What would happen if I didn’t care what other people thought about me?

17. How would my life be different if I stopped caring about all the things I can’t control?

18. What have I learned from the biggest and most painful mistakes I made in life?

19. Who do I want with me when I’m in my deathbed?

20. What will my biggest regret be when I’m about to die?

21. How do I want to be remembered when I die?

22. What would I do differently if I knew I was going to die five years from now?

23. What is my greatest weakness that I must to overcome?

24. Do I have a friend that I can trust my life on?

25. How do I define myself (without using profession as an identity)?

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26. What would I be doing if money wasn’t an issue?

27. What would I do with my life if there were no rules to restrict me?

28. How can I start doing all the things that I only hope, wish, and dream?

29. What can I do to be 1% more masculine everyday?

30. What value can I give to others? (In other words: Why should people care about you?)

Read More: Game Is A Journey Of Character Development

80 thoughts on “30 Questions To Ask Yourself For Self-Development”

  1. In case you want to attempt to answer this questions as a comment, here they are:
    “1. Why do I want self-improvement?”
    “2. What would I do if fear wasn’t holding me back?”
    “3. Who are my role models?”
    “4. What is my purpose or mission in life? Do I need one?”
    “5. If I could only achieve 20% of everything I currently want in life, what would they be? (Keeping Pareto principle in mind)”
    “6. What do I have to do to live the perfect day? (Not in terms of what happens to you, but what you do)”
    “7. What is the one thing that detracts most from my ability to be happy? What will I do about it?”
    “8. What is the one bad habit that is impeding my ability to succeed? What am I willing to do about it?”
    “9. What is my greatest fear? Would my life be better without it? Am I willing to overcome it?”
    “10. How much money/power/sex do I think will make me happy?”
    “11. What is the one thing that will bring more satisfaction and contentment in my life? What have I done in the past month to attain it? What will I do in the next month to attain it?”
    “12. What are the five or less things that I must do before I die?”
    “13. What is stopping me from being completely satisfied with what I already have?”
    “14. How can I be happy while still going after the things I want?”
    “15. In what ways will my life improve if I had better control over my mind?”
    “16. What would happen if I didn’t care what other people thought about me?”
    “17. How would my life be different if I stopped caring about all the things I can’t control?”
    “18. What have I learned from the biggest and most painful mistakes I made in life?”
    “19. Who do I want with me when I’m in my deathbed?”
    “20. What will my biggest regret be when I’m about to die?”
    “21. How do I want to be remembered when I die?”
    “22. What would I do differently if I knew I was going to die five years from now?”
    “23. What is my greatest weakness that I must to overcome?”
    “24. Do I have a friend that I can trust my life on?”
    “25. How do I define myself (without using profession as an identity)?”
    “26. What would I be doing if money wasn’t an issue?”
    “27. What would I do with my life if there were no rules to restrict me?”
    “28. How can I start doing all the things that I only hope, wish, and dream?”
    “29. What can I do to be 1% more masculine everyday?”
    “30. What value can I give to others? (In other words: Why should people care about you?)”

        14. I’m earning over $7k a few weeks doing its work part time . I kept hearing some individuals advise me what amount these people can get internet based therefore I made a decision to research it . Perfectly , this was all truthful so has totally changed my life style . This is where i started>>>
          -> START WORKING IMMEDIATELY!!!! <-

    2. Kratom makes vegans not declare themselves as vegans in front of strangers. It makes Crossfitters not declare themselves as Crossfitters to anyone in earshot.
      Kratom can outlove love.

  3. I find all these questions a bit cheesy and self-centered apart from the last one:
    30. What value can I give to others? (In other words: Why should people care about you?)”
    I like the idea of service. We are all joined at one level. Therefore, by helping others, one help oneself. In contrast, by helping mainly oneself, in fact one harms oneself. There is not a more determined person than the one of service.
    It is wise to also include yourself in the circle of your love. In other words, do not ignore yourself when you give service, for if you do, you will sicken or “burn out”, or become too tired or bored to continue. It also matters whom do we serve. Family has the priority followed by your close circle of friends, people from the same race and so on.
    The idea of service to nation sounds quite noble but it is rather pointless as nation is a very stretched and abused term. I would never join the army to serve the nation. I might join a local militia but not a national army. Never.
    The best self-improvement is by helping others.

      1. In the inverted world we live today everything solid looks cheesy hence why Christianity is no longer appreciated too.
        Cooperation (helping others) and trust (gentleman’s word) were the two pillars of western civilization. You can not survive without them in cold climate conditions.

    2. I agree about question #30 – this is key to success in business and in interactions with other people.

      1. Yes, strong business ethics always pay out.
        You can cheat your customers in the short term and hurt your business in the long term OR provide a good service and EVERYONE benefits in the long term.
        On personal level, people love people who are useful (of service) to them. The more love we get the better we feel – everyone benefits.

        1. “On personal level, people love people who are useful (of service) to them. The more love we get the better we feel – everyone benefits”
          Plus there is a pragmatism in providing something of value to people will part their cash for – otherwise one does not survive.

    4. I was thinking about this the other day and I have come to the conclusion that there is no human imperative or responsibility to help others, only that you cannot harm others. Helping others is fine only if you have your shit together first. If not, you risk burdening yourself and the person you are trying to help. I think a person should focus only on what is under their tent, and if everything is going fine, then start looking outside.
      This is all self fulfilling ego masturbation because my volunteerism and civil service have dropped off sharply and I like being a hermit.

      1. Prioritizing self reliance should come before service to others. Or at least run concurrently (i.e bartering)

  4. Only thing really getting me down (and subsequently affecting my answers to these questions) is I don’t have enough time per day to work on the flagship product for my business. Granted it is a complicated product, but an awesome one. Zoning out for 8 hours a day as an office cog just zaps the life outta ya. At least I keep up with my side project of 3 graphic novel pages a week.

    1. Comic book writer or artist? Mind you I’m a writer as well, just more focused on the idea crafting portion for the moment and oddly intimidated by the idea of having multiple products hit the mainstream market later this year.

        1. Hah! I know that side as well. Saw a few stories die that way. If you wish to talk plot points, character crafting, or places to shop to shorten the journey some, hit me up at………..

        2. It was my new year’s resolution last year to start producing something. At 175 pages the characters are keep trying to run away with the plot.
          What I need to start doing is marketing it.

        3. What system do you use for the 3D models? I’ve been interested in doing a comic down the road but I’m incredibly out of practice with drawing and I want to work with a media that the kids can’t scribble all over if they get their mitts on it.

        5. That is a ton of pages! You may need to adjust that for your elevator pitch. You should try and connect with a Comic Book editor as they will be able to assist on elevator pitches and hooks to sell. If you wish to push as an independent, having one entertaining product may be all you need. A written piece called Very Near Mint comes to mind as a first intro comic that created it’s own market. It was also a parody book based on comic book stores so a lot of the characters they did were market tested already.
          175 is well ahead of the game. Try putting out sample books collecting small page amounts say 7-10. If you don’t have a story that is engaging enough to peak interest in 7-10 pages you are likely fluffing your work anyway. Can be a good test.

        7. Depends on your skill. The blender foundation has quite a few demo reels, like their old “Sintel”:

          However for that they used a render farm (which blender is capable of doing).

        8. I haven’t really been sending it around to publishers because I have some editing/additions to do, mainly 20 pages elaboration/world building at the beginning. I have about 10 of those pages done, so I really just need to set aside some time to start shipping it out.
          One of my comments above has a link to it, if you’re interested in reading it.

        10. Will do. Give it a few days but I’ll share my opinion on it. I messaged my information in a prior message so if you have any additional questions about the medium, let me know. I’ll answer as honestly as I can.

        11. The Blender foundation aims to compete with folks like Dreamworks and Pixar. Hell, even has some compatibility with Pixar’s “Renderman” somewhere. One of the latest projects that used blender was “Hardcore Henry”.

        12. Same with the gaming engine Unity, the statistics software “R”, QGIS for geo-mapping, or OS Linux. Pretty sure there is even an open-source brain imaging software for fMRI.
          Open-source is cheaper than proprietary, so universities and small businesses use them and gradually they evolve as new problems get solved.

  5. I think these are good questions to help determine exactly what works best individually for each man. Well done.

  6. 16. What would happen if I didn’t care what other people thought about me?
    I let this one go a long time ago; best move I ever made.

  8. For some of us all this never ending self improvement takes away from just enjoying the ride. How many times have you gamed women with no success only to run into somebody when you least expect it? How much time did you lose pushing yourself in the gym only to injure something and were knocked out for a week? How much time did you spend looking for a job only to end up someplace that was meant to be? Nothing wrong with self development but when it becomes obsessive and narcissistic I think it is time to relax a little.

    1. Self improvement sells.
      Create a problem: (you’re no good, you and your lifestyle sucks)
      Sell a solution: (pay me to improve you and your situation)

  10. Very Good List Corey. I was pouring through the list, and honestly do not see a feasible way anyone could answer the list publicly as a few questions hit quite close to home. The general tone of these questions, what are your essentials to living and to build on that, hit the needle on the head of what the focus of a new year should be. It’ll be helpful for me as I have noticed a weakness of mine is detailing tasks to address. I typically just address it.

  11. You know, there are a million self help, self improvement articles out there. More than once I have started with some sort of goal, read about it, talked about it, wrote them down, etc., even accomplished some. This list of questions is similar. The thing is, self improvement is not some project that you finish. It is a long term state of mind. So, I make a goal to bench 250, and one year later, I pass it. Then what? Like Enrico Montoya on the Princess Bride after he exacts his revenge, and finds himself at a loss of what to do. Do you just develop a new goal? Perhaps.
    I am getting older, and finding the physical fitness goals more painful to achieve. Does that mean I should just give up as my health is going slowly downhill? Should I refocus my efforts on something else more intellectual or spiritual?
    Along with accomplishing all these goals, you also need to consider this: Life is short, you need to stop and take a look around every once in awhile. Otherwise you might just miss it.

        1. “The Princess Bride”: someone suggested Montoya, finished with his revenge goals, take on the identity of a seldom-seen notorious pirate.

  13. Self help books = pansy liberal bullshit.
    The only self help books I ever read were hand loading manuals!
    Real men don’t read this garbage, it’s for beta males only.

    1. Agreed, that is very important and sorely missing from the article. I am adding that one also when I spend time answering these. Thanks.

  16. You know, some of these questions simply don’t have answers without experience, living life, running tests, experimenting and finding out those answers in the process.

  17. Have a friend. Over 50 years old, beautiful wife of 20 years just got pregnant with the kid of a 20 year old. So he is moving to Hungary where an old pal is setting him up to manage in a business. Had to sell everything he owns, all has prized possessions. Fortunaltey, he is smart dude, a karate master, in great physical condidtion.
    Told him he may have some luck with some ladies overseas. But he seemed a little of the MGTOW mindset, he was so pissed.
    His ssituation reminded me of when I was 22 years old. Landing with my backpack carefree and looking for a job teaching Engish in this or that country. I always made it work.
    But there is an energy and resourcefulness you have at 20 that is hard to reproduce later in life.
    He is about to learn about number 17 on the list. Hope he loves adventure. Total contrast with me. Whether it is land,careet, finances, home, I have alwats taken a long term incrementalist approach to realizing projects. Paying off mortages, buying land, cars, guns, saving for son’s college.
    All my plans are tied up in material projects that I have been nurturing for years. It would be strange again to be in the situation of a 25 year old at age 55.
    Total freedom of movvement is better for a 20 year old. Living in a fortress you built surrounded by a moat and walls and carefully planning the next arena to push my pawns fits a 50 year old better.

    1. Happened to me when i was 52 (after 30 years of marriage), no baby but she was doing the gardener. Hungary is not the place for him to move. Philippines is great as they all speak English, Thailand is pretty good too, but the language is a challenge.

        1. It’s cold and backward, very poor infrastructure and likely to face severe economic and cultural problems in the near future (Muslim invasion). Not to mention the women are ugly and have a bad attitude.

    2. There are A LOT OF GUYS getting their ass handed to them at that age by bored wives in the USA. If he is heading to Eastern Europe with a job offer and a young lady call that a lottery winner.

  18. For No. 26 I would go adventuring and finally see the milky way with my own eyes as well as the other constellations and go through glaciers and other places.

  20. “3. Who are my role models?”
    Most any man I know in a leadership role that I can learn from. Men who are lousy leaders are not people anyone would want to emulate, but those men who appear to accomplish good things in their roles are the ones I want to draw from.

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