Girls

What To Do When You Blow It With A Beautiful Girl

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You might think that the worst outcome when you approach a beautiful girl is that she rejects you. But that isn’t the worst thing at all. Even more perturbing is when she is attracted to you and agrees to a date, but then for whatever reason—she changes her mind, you mess up, or logistically things don’t come together—you don’t end up sleeping with her. I call these situations ‘near misses’. This article is about how to try to prevent them and what to do when one occurs.

Near Misses

There are different degrees of ‘near miss’. The most extreme is when you get a girl back to your place, she is naked on your bed and then she changes her mind about wanting sex with you and leaves. This phenomenon, sometimes called LMR (last minute resistance) is understandably confusing and frustrating when it happens. A more subtle form (and more common) form of ‘near miss’ is when you meet a girl who is clearly attracted to you, perhaps agreeing to a date and even making out with you, but who then changes her mind and won’t progress things further with you.

The latter happened to me recently. I met a hot Russian girl, blonde, very pretty with a petite but extremely curvy figure. She was definitely an 8.5 and possible a 9. The first time I saw her she gave me what is known as the ‘doggy dinner bowl look’: that is, she maintained prolonged eye contact with me, and her eyes were large and round and filled with desire. You can distinguish a real ‘doggy dinner bowl’ look easily from a more casual glance, since in the case of the former there will be a real sense that something of significance has passed between the two of you. It is an IOI on steroids.

It was pretty clear she was into me, so when the right moment presented itself to me I went over and chatted to her, getting her number quickly and easily. There followed some two-ing and fro-ing over Facebook Messenger, including some hugely flirtatious and sexual comments from her.

Then we went on the date. It didn’t go well. In a large part I think this was due to the fact that this girl, currently in early recovery for her excessive use of cocaine, wasn’t drinking alcohol. Now, as much of a pussy hound as I may be, I wasn’t going to encourage her to drink when it wasn’t good for her to do so. But the girl felt awkward. She told me it was the first time she’d been on a date with a guy sober.

For my part, I don’t think I did anything ‘wrong’ as such. I just did my usual date ‘thing’—cocky-funny banter, some comfort laced with verbal and physical escalation. I was on pretty good form and did my best to make the girl feel comfortable and to be fair the conversation flowed well.

Unexpectedly though, after only a short time, she said she had to go home. I tried a couple of things to change her mind, but when it was clear she’d made her mind up I sat back and watched her beautiful ass and the long gold hair that tickled it as she retreated to the subway.

I don’t expect I’ll ever see her again.

Now, shit happens and fortunately I have abundance, so after she’d left I simply called up another girl who’d come over from Hungary to hang out with me, and a few hours later I was banging her back at my apartment instead. But I won’t pretend that my failure with the Russian girl didn’t sting, especially as I texted her later and her reply didn’t suggest that I’d misread the situation.

How To Prevent A Near-Miss

Is it possible to stop something like this happening to you? There are certainly a few things you should bear in mind that can help.

The first is to say that it’s always a good idea to get to sex as quickly as possible after you meet a new girl. Why? Because the longer you leave it, the more time she has to mull everything over in her mind and the more likely she is to find some pretext on which to reject you. So had I met the Russian girl, she’d given me doggy dinner bowl eyes and we’d slept together that night then the whole scenario I’ve just described need never have taken place.

You see the difficulty is this: when you go on a ‘date’, even if it’s just a casual drink, then you are effectively putting yourself forward to be judged against whatever criteria happens to come up with. So while her hindbrain and body may be keen for sex with you; her forebrain, the part where intellectual decisions are made, may choose to reject you for any number of reasons.

In my experience, the biggest problems you’ll face will be due either to over- or under-escalation. For myself, I have been prone to over-escalation at times which has without a doubt lost me a bunch of lays.

Escalation is when you push the envelope sexually. Physical escalation is when you use touch to get her excited, verbal escalation is when you say sexy things to turn her on.

Here’s the bind. Too little escalation and she’ll think you’re not interested / not alpha enough / gay and she’ll consign you to the friendzone. Too much escalation and you risk overheating the whole thing and watching her walk away.

The latter has happened to me many times. I’ve had girls out on dates who have literally been all over me, making out. But if you don’t have sex that night as a result then you’re unlikely to see her again. This is because she will know that the next time you meet intercourse will be foremost on the agenda, and so the very act of her coming to meet you will feel slutty.

My best advice is to take a middle course. Without a doubt you must inject sexuality into the proceedings. You must present yourself as a sexual being verbally and you should use touch judiciously to introduce a sense of physical intimacy between you. Just don’t push it too far. Instead, hang back and allow her to be the predator too. Otherwise you risk jettisoning whatever fragile bond has been established between you.

What To Do If You Experience A ‘Near Miss’

If you experience a ‘near miss’ then you might find that it stings significantly more than a standard rejection. Why? Because you were in with a chance. You were in sight. You were faced with an open goal, you gave it your best shot and… you missed.

There is little that is more dispiriting for a man in the dating arena to fail to score with a girl who has shown clear signs of interest in him.

In this situation the first thing you must do is remember the old adage ‘you can’t lose what you never had.’ Because the truth is that you never actually ‘had’ her. Yes, perhaps she was interested, but you didn’t really lose anything.

If you can, you should try to congratulate yourself on the progress you did make, and resolve to learn from the experience rather than wallow in self-pity.

Another thing I find really helpful in such situations is to write down a detailed account of everything that took place. Not only will this help you analyse what went awry and learn for next time, you’ll also be amazed at just how much the practice will take the pain out of the situation and allow you to see if more clearly.

Another great tip is to speak to a close male friend about what happened. A good buddy will further help you to put things into perspective and you may even find yourself laughing about it.

Finally, you need to continue to approach other girls. This will open up new opportunities for you and, even more importantly, it will help you to see that the girl you ‘lost’ was just that, a girl. One of billions, in other words.

For a compilation of all Troy’s best game writing, advice and techniques from the last four years buy his new book How To Get Hot Girls Into Bed.

Read Next: Why Being Good Looking Is Not Enough To Be Successful With Women

157 thoughts on “What To Do When You Blow It With A Beautiful Girl”

  1. OK. The chicks in this article are hot! I will absolutely not complain about the cameltoe in the first pic. No sir!

        1. Oh, she’d touch me, and I, her. Gorgeous.

  2. The “near miss” can absolutely ruin you, if you let it. Don’t let it.
    Just let it go. Just walk away. Let go of all the emotions and move on. Keep approaching, keep meeting other chicks.
    After some time has passed, maybe circle back and try to deconstruct what happened, see if you made a mistake so you can avoid it next time.
    But don’t dwell on it too much. Most of the time, it wasn’t even about you anyway. Some random thought disrupted her hamster, or something else totally out of your control interfered.
    You have to remember that, most of the time, none of this is actually personal. It’s not really about you, especially if its some chick you just met. It’s just her hamster.
    And hamsters gonna hamster.

    1. All true. Fail one shit test, and it all falls down. Can’t be too angry with yourself for not batting 1000 as long as you’re stepping to the plate.

    2. “And hamsters gonna hamster.”
      Man, fuck all your privileged patriarchal assumptions and shit. In this age, why can’t it it be hamsters gonna gerbil? Or hamxyrs gonna easy chair? Hamster is a social construct, you speciest!

        2. Not just any Vole…a “20th Century Vole!”
          Bonus points if you get the reference.

        3. Splunge – will admit that I had to look it up. Hilarious though, hadn’t ever seen that Flying Circus skit.

    3. Elizabeth Swann: “There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing.”
      Jack Sparrow: “I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.”

  3. Whenever I blow it with a beautiful girl, I think, “I must have lowballed her and she took offense. Next time, I’ll double my original offer.”

  4. The only reasons anyone “blows it” are lack of preparation and an insufficient willingness to close the business. A couple wraps of duct tape and the resistance goes right out of them. But you have to have the duct tape with you.

    2. First best opener “Hello, my name is (say your name here)”
      Second best opener, chloroform.

        2. I know right. I mean, I did that joke like a week ago, and he totally rips it off, blatantly, with no credit. He’s like fucking CNN at this point.

  5. I accidentally analled a girl. That’s a total miss or a near miss?
    On that night I learned that my NBA career is over.

  6. “What to do when you blow it with a beautiful girl?” Enjoy the release, lay back and reflect on the satisfaction of fulfilling your biological imperative by releasing into hot, tight poon.
    [reads article]
    Ohhhh…. that kind of “blow it”….
    In that case, get back on the horse and advance to the kind of “blow it” I envisioned when reading the title. No need to despair over the one that got away. There’s another one out there. Just remember one of my favorite sayings: “show me the hottest girl in the world, and I’ll show you a guy who’s tired of fucking her.”

  7. The worst are the girls that you never even gave a chance. 45 minutes of waffling about garbage, then she leaves because the “prime opportunity” never came. You failed to invite.
    Give me my 45 minutes back.

    1. Can’t you tell a couple of minutes in if she’s actually interested or not? Generally I pick up on that pretty fast.

      1. Yeah, I am referring to my inexperienced mangina days. Heck, some guys will go directly to friendzone and stay there for years until she moves on.

  8. If you really want to bang a hot girl who has blown you off, and you have been unsuccessful with follow-up attempts in the past, you might shift tactics and try using psychological warfare.
    The next time you see her, ignore her completely and only pay attention to her friends or her relatives (like her sister, if she has one). If she smiles at you, don’t acknowledge it. If she tries to get your attention, act like she isn’t there. Then, ONLY interact with her, from that point on, in order to cut her down on her strong points in a calculated fashion.
    For example, she’s got really pretty eyes, and everybody tells her so. Say to her, “Your eyes look like the eyes of the undead – are you taking Prozac or Effexor?”
    If her tits are really nice, and they’re obviously fake, tell her, “How much did those cost your ex?” If she responds, say, “Did you sue the surgeon?”
    If you really want to get mean (which you should do at every available opportunity), point at a fairly good-looking guy and tell her, “I think that guy over there hasn’t even looked at you all night long; I’m gonna go over there and point you out to him, and make him wave at you and smile, so you don’t cut your wrists later…”
    After a while, it’s very likely that she’ll open her legs for you. Why? Masochism and competitiveness. Most hot women hate themselves on a very deep level and they are competitive as hell. They want what they can’t have – they want the guy who doesn’t want them; they want the guy who sees through their shit and wants somebody else.
    So you have to let them know that you know it on a visceral level that they hate themselves, and they hate themselves because they know they aren’t worth a flying fuck. You have to be mean to them, and treat them like shit, while pursuing their friends. Then they will respect you, and then they are likely to do everything they can to get you to “like” them.
    I have used this trick many times, with close to 90% success. (Which is a sad testament to the intrinsic nature of women, I must admit.) But all’s fair in love and war.
    Of course, the downside is, the really beautiful ones are batshit-twisted psychotics, so you’ll have to deal with a double dose of insanity if you keep seeing them. But so what, they’re all nuts. It’s just a matter of degree.

    1. Yep, if you want to keep them around it works well too. “Honey does my hair look ok?” — ‘Well if you’re going for the I jumped out of an airplane in a thunderstorm look, it’s fantastic’.

      1. A trick that works close to 100% of the time is to tell a girl whose hair color is all wrong, “Your natural hair color would really bring out your eyes.” I cannot tell you how many times I have said this to a girl (a girl I wasn’t dating, at that), and the next time I saw them, they changed their hair back to their natural color. Once they do something like that, at your suggestion, you can get them into bed pretty easily. A woman who will change her hair color based on your casual suggestion, has insecurity issues that are unfathomable. That’s what you prey on – those issues. Just like they prey on weak guys who crumble to their shit-tests.
        It’s too tiresome for an old guy like me these days to go this route. I just use cash, primarily. I am suggesting these tricks for any of you younger, enthusiastic dudes with energy to burn…fuck with their heads. The more you practice it, the better you will get. I have a buddy who did the same thing, he would take it to the extreme. He would cut women down and laugh right in their faces. Point out every flaw and tell them they were gold-diggers and he wouldn’t wipe his ass with their faces (he actually shocked me sometimes, which is hard to do). By god if he didn’t score with about half the bitches he unloaded on. Women are weird.

        1. You ain’t kidding! I’ve done this on dating sites, on first messages I’ll comment about something in their main pic, one had colored contacts in making her eyes yellow, a day after I commented all her pics had changed to wearing sunglasses LOL
          Another whom I was dating would wear lots of makeup. I said why are you wearing that shit it gives you a granny face. Next time I seen her she was wearing very minimal or not any at all heh

        3. Yes. They are so very insecure. I think it’s because they live in fear that they will be “found out”. Somebody will discover how low they really are – dog-fuckers, best-friend back-stabbers, hypergamous sluts, etc. So if you act like you already know how low they are, and make suggestions which might give them a better overall mask (which is what they all utilize, while trying to hide their true selves, so that they won’t be “found out”, while pursuing bigger and better game), well, you’re an ally in their infantile minds. Plus, you are kind of like the daddy they never had. They all want their daddies. A bigger, badder version. I don’t like discussing this kind of stuff for very long, because it gives me a dimmer view of women than I already have. But it is what it is. (Women love that cliche – why, because it makes no sense, just like them, but it makes the user seem really intelligent and philosophical.)

        4. Yes I have witnessed those exact same things, “especially” on the daddy issue. I don’t like talking about it too much either, it’s a bit of a downer for sure. Good to vent once in awhile though.

        5. Venting is good. Pointing out these tricks for other red-pill guys to use, is good. Speaking of the daddy thing, I had a friend who swore up and down that he bedded this hot chick one night, and she told him, mid-fuck, “You’re the best I ever had – except for my daddy…”

        6. “except for my daddy…” now that is a boner killer right there! Hope he didn’t have her back at his place either, you don’t want the crazies knowing where you live LOL

        7. Hahaha! You know what, i used to kid him about it. He swore he got up and left immediately. I’d take a slug of my beer, whenever he retold the tale (he was a bartender), and I’d say, “You’re a fucking horn-dog. Admit it, what she said turned you on and you banged her like a drum for months.”

        8. Bob, you really have a psychological gift into the minds of women — probably the most acute mind in that regard on ROK. Bravo!

        9. I don’t know about that one, but grazie, my friend…women will tell you everything, pretty much, if you catch them at the right moment. Which is why I like spending time with strippers on occasion, they will admit their deepest, most fucked-up weaknesses and habits, so long as you ask them the right questions and act like you are non-judgmental and on their side. Then you can exploit the shit out of what they tell you. Heh.

    2. “Most hot women hate themselves on a very deep level and they are competitive as hell.”
      True. And, most women also hate other women as a result of that competitive drive.
      If you understand this, many techniques are open to you.
      One I used to success many times was to approach a group of girls and go for the “runner up” – not the girl I thought was the hottest, that I really wanted, but the second place girl that was still hot enough that I wanted to bang. I make it a point to ignore or subtly insult the hot girl in favor of the runner up while chatting up the runner up as if she is the primary target.
      There are so many benefits. First, if the gambit works and I get the hot girl I wanted, I win. Second, even if I end up with the runner up, it’s still a hot girl I wanted. And most times, if you don’t get the number one girl, you end up with the runner up because she senses her place in the hierarchy, and the fact that she can score points by upsetting it. Plus, because she’s not the primary target, your approach is less stressful, and makes it easier to exude the I-don’t-give-a-flying-fuck jerkboy vibe that women dig (which will be noticed by both the primary and secondary targets). Third, even if you get blown the fuck out, OTHER women not a part of the group will notice the brass balls you had to approach a group of hot women, and tingles start. There’s really no losing.

        1. Man, I have got to get the Big Book Of Gandhi Quotes! Dude had an opinion about *everything*. Totally epic.

        2. You see, I got to read all of his red-pill literary works, back when Gandhi and I hung out. You know, way before the Illuminati got their mitts on them and burned ’em all.
          Gandhi was the man. I miss the days when he and I would recite lines from the Quran, while spinning the flax wheel, as we listened to Duran Duran, while nubile Indian babes danced the Hokey Pokey beneath the azure skies of Bombay…sigh…those were the days.

        3. Ghandi was the wisest motherfucker. Behind perhaps only Clint Eastwood.

        4. So true. Gandhi, Clint…and maybe Jabba the Hutt. And Einstein, just because nobody understood what the fuck he was talking about, but he sounded really smart when he was talking about it.

        7. “When I give bitches just the tip, it drives them crazy and I nut harder.” – Albert Einstein

        15. Close……. Gandhi had the word “anally” inserted at least a half dozen times into that quote.

        16. Me too.
          I was surprised to learn that Neil said it, not Gandhi.
          A lesson learned, I guess. We’re better men for it.

        17. That’s right! Thanks for jarring my memory. Gandhi was such a brilliant bastard, it’s hard to remember all the filthy, insightful things he said…

        19. Wait…I believe it was New Delhi…um…it was years ago.
          Gotta run. CNN is calling me about filling a position…

        22. Bet it ain’t the Mahatma, eh Bob. Probably Uncle John or Billy Bob Gandhi ;P

        27. …if you can’t dazzle them with diamonds, baffle them with bullshit.

  9. When you blow it with a hot girl you make sure she knows that she needs to put the lotion on it’s skin, it does this whenever it’s told. 😛
    That’s a joke, son.

  10. Awful when they realise what a shallow and insecure little jerk you are and leave you to it hey? Is this article advocating that you actually HOOK UP with a male friend after a chick sees you for what you are? It certainly looks like it. How many of you guys do that? Lot’s i expect.

  11. The near miss can happen for hundreds of reasons. It’s probably best to not over analyze it and move on. Some of these bitches have steady boyfriends, or are even married, though will never admit it… get their clothes off because they are mad at them for whatever reason and then have second thoughts at the last minute leaving you hanging.

  12. I wouldn’t take a blow off seriously. There are like 3.5 billion other women on the planet and if you’re in a place where girls like to go, there is a room full of girls to turn around and talk to.
    Weirdest “blow it” for me was a really pretty girl who looked a *hell* of a lot like Jennifer Aniston (as in, could be a sister or cousin close). I chatted her up and every answer back was “yes”, “no” and “I don’t have any real interests” (as in hobbies, or what books she reads, or anything of that nature). I got the message pretty quickly that she wasn’t in the market for the OfJefferson Awesome Super Cool Product. So she basically excused herself and left. Ok, I fucked up, whatever.
    Two hours later she shows back up, walks over to where I was talking to a couple of buddies, and just stands there staring like, I dunno, like she was hypnotized. Two feet from me, just standing and staring me straight in the eyes. It was actually…..kind of weird. I did a little wave, said “Hey, what’s up” and then walked off with my buddies to the bar.
    My thought was “Hey, you were boring and you rejected me, you had your chance, you blew it, later”. One of my friends gave me total shit about it, in typical “Maaaaan, dufuq maaaan, she was like standing there begging for it maaaaan, I woulda never done that maaaaan, dufuq is wrong with you?” Heh.

    1. She was probably hoping you would spend the rest of the night begging for it. Bitch got what she deserved.

      1. I think you may be right. I’ve never had a girl give me an obvious blow off then show up hours later and just stand in front of me like she wanted me to throw her over my shoulder and drag her back to my cave. With her looks you’re probably right, I may be the only guy she’s encountered who didn’t freak out at her rejection or something. Interesting thought.

      2. Yup, it’s a power play. The feminist wants to be the one with the nutsack. It is very important for that girl to get power. Ironically, if they don’t get it, you get her respect and admiration.

    2. Good call on that one. Seems to me she was coming back around just to try to figure out why you blew her off. It was less about wanting you and more about trying to figure out if something was wrong with her charms. If you had taken the bait, she would have felt relief that her desirability was still working, then given you the blowoff in return.

      1. Could be. In fact, that would be ideally how she was thinking, so that I slam dunked her ego twice, heh.

    3. You might have dodged a bullet. That story gave me the “She wants to come over to your place and boil your rabbit” vibe, or wake up tied to a bed in a bad “Misery” way.

      1. Yeah, kind of got that impression.

    4. Funny response would have been – “did you bring your personality with you this time?”

    5. ‘Jen’ is the daughter of ‘Ellie Mae’ (Nancy Aniston Dow) from Beverly Hilbillies in real life. Jed, Jethrow, they’re what you call real Hollywood royalty. Yee haw.

      1. Holy shit, are you kidding me? I had a HUGE crush on Ellie Mae from The Beverly Hillbillies growing up. This trivial piece of information makes so many things make sense now! Damn!
        EDIT: Not finding a lot of information to back this up on a search dude. What I do find is that her mom was on an episode(s) but wasn’t Ellie Mae Calmpett.

    6. Brother Jefferson, I’ve had a few experiences like that. The most memorable one was a few years ago when I went back to university to complete my degree. This younger woman used to eye me off a bit in class and look for any excuse to butt into a conservation I was involved with, but when I used to talk to her it was all short answers and quick exits. It was frustrating as hell, so I just started ignoring her and then she started giving me dirty looks. When I confronted her about it she denied it, but I found out through a mutual friend that she used to get a bit nervous around me because my style was too ‘full on’. i.e aggressive/confrontational. Yet she was attracted anyway. I had another similar issue with a ‘feminist’ woman who hated the shit I used to say in class (because I was openly anti-feminist) but she couldn’t stop eye fucking me. I used to catch her constantly and she would quickly look away etc.
      A similar thing happened to me at a work function last year. Same deal as yours. A woman I’d barely associated with in the office would give me short answers etc, act disinterested, then she would be hovering around me like a fucking bad smell hours later.
      The biggest problem I have is that I don’t adjust my ‘game’ too much for different women. Sometimes I forget to alter my approach when trying to pick up a more ‘intelligent’ woman vs a complete bimbo. Some PUA types say it’s all the same shit, but I disagree. Some women require a slightly different approach, even if the end result is the same (i.e sex).

    7. I used to give second chances, but after a while, I got sick and tired of the games women played. I would have done the same. She’s immature.

  13. Women usually say “No” because taking responsibility (for anything) is a little bit too much for the way their brains are structured – the left (logic) and the right (decisiveness) are in constant dialogue. Men are better risk takers as the two brains function more or less independently.
    Her rejection is in fact an invitation for you to take the lead and be a little forceful on her. But in today’s social climate this is quite risky. This simple psychological fact is the reason why the social engineers have intensified the rape propaganda through campaigns like “Yes means Yes” as a way to discourage and reduce normal heterosexual acts.
    So in natural conditions, there’s no such thing as near-miss. If she’s interested in you, she’ll sleep with you and even if she’s not interested initially she will be so long as you display enough assertiveness and perseverance.
    Near miss = no balls

  14. To illustrate what we were discussing in an earlier portion of this comment thread, about women and how they only want what they can’t have…I just now read an email from this hot woman I hooked up with about three years ago. She has been emailing me periodically for the last two years, even though I never write her back. (She used to call me incessantly, until I changed my phone number.) Why? Because after I banged her a few times, I told her she was fucking nuts and I didn’t have the necessary background in psychology that it would take for me to deal with her, and I wished her luck.
    She has sent me probably 25 emails over the last two years (she sent me one yesterday, wishing me a happy 4th of July). Every time she sends one, she’ll write a second email, or she’ll add a P.S. to the first one, which reads, “Don’t bother writing back. I just wanted to say hi.” Or she’ll add a pussy photo or a nudie shot. But I never write back.
    You know what. She’ll email me until I’m 85 years old, just because I am no longer interested in her.

    1. and to think she could just go online and find someone else and move on with her life.

      1. There’s no doubt that she probably has another 100 guys she rotates. She just has to figure out a way to make me chase her, she has to know why, what did she do wrong, can I get him back? She doesn’t want me, she just doesn’t like the idea that I bailed on her so bluntly and so abruptly…

        1. I’ll never forget looking at a girls phone one time and reading BF1,BF2,BF3 etc.

        2. Got to keep in mind, a woman is attractive for 10-15 years, a guy is for 40-50 years, that means in their attractive years, she will have 3-5 times as much action as a guy will. Simple math.

        5. Yeah but 95% of that attention is short term at best and why leave proof of hoedom.

        8. I’m not going to show pussy shots of her here (not suitable for work, cough-cough). Nor her face. Because I don’t want to risk flipping her Super Crazy Switch.
          But here are two shots of her body, sans head. (The bottom pic will enlarge if you click it twice.)
          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c16b0e6f6b3466bdb3258c77583aab6b17a9186cad9f96f20b34ef22d9d07c5a.jpg
          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/58cb0d95bcaaf938ea8690748aaddf7a0dc0ea7a7a60fa50694ad3d33c5759db.jpg

        9. What’s the statement I’m thinking of Jim?… “Men Age, Women get Old.”

        10. Appreciate the NSFW policy. Decent body, but no body is worth putting up with a screwed up brain on the long term.

        14. I learned my lesson on that NSFW thing. I will say this, if you saw her face and her undercarriage. Holy shit. But even then, it just isn’t worth it. There are millions of women out there, just like her, just as hot, just as crazy, just as willing to kill you if you close your eyes for a moment or two…

        16. If you ever bang her, make sure it’s a hit and run…I am going to add this little nugget about the particular female in question. Guess what her biggest fantasy is, one that she claims virtually all her girlfriends have. Being raped. Not being taken – being flat-out raped. So we played that little fantasy out…toldja she was upper-tier nuts.

        17. Crazier than this girl, is that Meryl Streep is getting married at age 68!

        18. That’s always a dangerous fantasy to play out.
          “Yes, officer, I told him repeatedly to stop…”

        20. Uh-huh. It crossed my mind as we were getting to know each other. But she was just cock-crazy. The thing with a woman like her, she knows that if a guy had a good lawyer, that lawyer could pull up a dozen people who would testify that her top fantasy was to be raped. Hell, he could probably find dozens of emails from men that described the execution of just such a fantasy. I told her if she ever caused me trouble, I’d teach her the waking, screaming definition, before we even got close to doing the deed (my standard thing). But she wasn’t that crazy. Boundaries, man. You gotta set boundaries.

        22. And safe words. You also need to set a safe word. For reasons.

        24. and I just want the guy who gives me 20% percent off at the checkout line to come over and say “Hi” to me on his break. This world is messed up.

        25. Oh yes, yes, for reasons. Because Oprah said so. This girl didn’t want safe words. She wanted to be stalked, abducted, tied up, choked, forced, the whole nine yards. Which, in reality, doesn’t make her different than any other modern Western woman, I don’t think…most of them just don’t admit it.

        26. Is that why you disappeared for several weeks awhile back? We had milk cartons and “What about Bob” posts everywhere.

        28. Women in general like that very much. In your particular case if you had not only fake-raped her butt fake-butthezzd she would have wanted your babies.

        30. Did she ever fantasize about being kidnapped, tied up and forcibly…taken to a psychiatrist and force fed crazy pills? Cause that’s what should happen.

    2. Either you had her figured out and she’s beyond nuts or you’re insanely hot, lol.

      1. I am not insanely hot by any means, so…I think we had a mental connection. She was mental, and I connected with her ___ and her ___.

    3. Dude this is surreal it’s so familiar to me. I have a special inbox rule for a chick I met 20 years ago and we “dated” for all of a couple months. Thousands of emails in that box, she never misses a holiday and still remembers my birthday. I’m willing to bet she has a shrine with one of my old pics in her bedroom on top of a hope chest with some candles around it.
      I think you and I have talked before about our affinity for attracting crazy bitches LOL

      1. Dudes like us have a sign on our foreheads that is invisible to everyone except crazy bitches. It reads, “If you’re batshit crazy, talk to me.”

        1. Yeah and “stalk me forever”, I’ve had one or two just randomly show up months later too. Lesson learned back then was never bring them home LOL

  16. When I was in my mid-20s, I landed the phone # and a date with what was a perfect 10. I mean, the type of girl that made other hot chicks at a bar look like shit. The type of girl that other men turned their heads at while I was with her making me feel like the most important man on earth. I got a few more dates with her, and then that was it. She called my home phone one day while I was at work and left a message saying “I don’t think it’s going to work out, maybe we’ll run into each other again one day. good luck”.
    I was so crushed, being a young guy that was absolutely obsessed and on cloud 9 that I was actually dating a true 10. I became obsessed with the whole situation, analyzed the recorded voice mail for months, questioned the whole situation of “what did i do wrong”, etc. I was an emotional wreck for a while because I had a young immature mind and I knew I’d never find anything that hot again ever.
    What I learned is that there is no “near miss”. If a female truly likes you, she’ll let you get away with just about anything. She’ll make excuses for you. She’ll turn your faults into attractive attributes.
    Lastly, apply to it what I call the “Brad Pitt” theory. If a girl flakes on you or drops you, ask yourself if she would do the same to Brad Pitt. Of course not. She would all the sudden have all kinds of free time and always be available and always return calls and always reach out to say hi. If a girl genuinely likes you, she’ll make the time. She’ll make it very easy for you. There are no near misses.

    1. Wise words!
      It is all in our heads.
      One could read a near-miss as “damn i am ALMOST good enough for a perfect 10!
      When i have improved just a little bit more these girls will be my new base line.
      And 5 years from now when i have improved A LOT i will not consider anything less.
      Good to know I am on the right track!
      …or
      This unique snowflake was the most god-like creature i have ever seen. Never again will such a great celestial beeing lower herself and grace some simp like me with her presence. It was great while it lasted but she was way out of my league and it was only a matter of time. Too good to be true. I cant believe she even talked to me!
      You are the master of your own life. You pick which one it shall be.

    2. The crushed/emotional wreck you describe is pure reptilian brain chemical reaction occurring. It’s the pheromones. That’s why you should save a dirty panty of hers. If you’d have had her soil a panty and wipe her unwashed armpits with it and then finger hole her good with it, then you save it in a zip lock baggie. When the blues hits, it’s all chemical. NO and I repeat NO antidepressants are needed. Avoid MAOIs and SSRIs at this point. Go to the chest of drawers and get that baggie out boy. You need a fix of her triggering pheromones which your system is critically low on right now. DON’T kill yourself and don’t drive until you open the baggie and huff her putrid twat smell till you’re dizzy.
      Then you’re fine. It was chemical that’s all. And it works in seconds, better than ELECTROLYTES on a spitting hot day. All you can think then is GAME GAME GAME. Look out the window and you’re damn near ready to spit boomerang game at the hot chicks walking by. Your brain is fixed. It wasn’t her. It was her fucking biochemical residue causing imbalance in your prefrontal cortex.
      ZIP THAT BAGGIE and save it for later in case the shit hits again. Usually it’s a few months withdrawal. It’s why you always see classic movies with violins playing as Clark Gable pulls a soiled panty from behind his pocket square, sniffs it under the moonlight and then he tips his hat and struts on.

      1. I’ve got to tell you, you paint QUITE the picture. If you’re not a writer, you should consider it… even if it’s just for a hobby.

  17. What to do when you blow it with a beautiful girl?
    Go find another beautiful girl.
    There’s a lot of them out there.

  18. I’m curious has anyone ever hit up a girl at the gas pumps? I’ve seen a couple hotties pull up at the pumps as I was leaving the local gas station lately and thought about turning around, but I had places to be so LOL
    When I was in my 20s and attractive girls still worked at the stations, I hit up and dated a cashier for a summer, that was fun. She lied to me about her age though, after several months of dating, and on her birthday I found out she was 18 and I had been dating a 17 yr old LOL

    2. Approach around pump to hottie pumping. Expose your biceps as you lift arm to smell your forearm and scrunch your nose. “Whew I smell gas. Do I smell like gas? I think the pump handle leaked gas on me. I kinda smell gas. I hope it’s not me”
      Then hold your two fingers for her to smell. No gas but heavy ballscratch under your nails. She whiffs and the pheromones go straight to her prefrontal cortex.
      The game is on – “cool is that spoiler an add on. I had a ’99, got ten stitches in my side when I dropped the engine too fast with the lift.(raise shirt to show off any old injuries) Any tatoos – show em. She may show hers too if any.
      Gas pump skeet has to be fast – 1 min or they’re gone. Seeing a gorgeous 9+ at the gas pump you’re very very lucky. Most of the time they’re driving. I saw the most gorgeous platinum blonde 17-18 ish driving back in 2000. I didn’t have approach regrets because there’s nothing I could do but a U-turn and hop the concrete median which would not have been possible in my sedan. Maybe a 4×4 but not a low wheelbase car. So beautiful was she that my mind raced with stuff to say. I wasn’t a ballscratcher back then, but I would feel a loss if I didn’t at least try something. A gas pump crossing of paths would have been a blessing.

  21. Definitely that thing with the Russian girl was not your fault Troy. I mean a recovering coke head? I’m impressed that you gave her an opportunity.

  22. Just grab her pussy, no near misses then, just grab it and kiss her neck.

  23. What I’d like to know:
    When you experience a near miss on the first date, but without a real fight or a complete blow out, simply a mediocre date for whatever reason, kinda like yours – is it still worth to keep talking to her?
    Is it worth to try and set up a 2nd date for a possible do-over?
    Or does that make you look like a simp who has no other options?
    Not gonna lie I experience near misses a lot. I push the boundaries hard, saying lots of politically incorrect stuff, sometimes come off as moody and arrogant, so it happens quite often that a girl who likes me at the beginning of the date changes her mind by the end.
    Also, back in the day I was perfectly fine having to wait 2-3 dates before we bang. These days I’m impatient and sometimes cut dates short myself because of it.

  24. As much as I love Russia, their urban women exports are all else equal only good for occasional paid sex (unless you’re loaded, in which case they’re good for regular paid sex – the cost of a fun date almost always exceeds the cost of a legal prostitute in Central Europe). Given that I’ve never met a Russian/CIS girl with a decent personality, I largely equate interacting with them and those who work the world’s oldest profession as indistinguishable. I’d like to believe, based on some experience, that this applies also to most Commonwealth of Independent (CIS Region) States, such as Georgia, Kazakhstan, etc., and mainly to those who live in cities or who recently emigrated to more populous “Western” centers in Central Europe, i.e. Prague, Berlin, etc. I could be wrong, but I’m approaching statistical significance in terms of flags.
    So I had a “near miss” relationship with one exceptional 8.0-8.5 from CIS. I have a great job here in Europe, high relative social status and played the game well. We hooked up for about a month and a half, in which time she was able to gauge my net worth. She probably only stayed that long because of my gigantic kobasa and ability to deliver bone-shattering orgasms. But in the end, it was not enough. What in all likelihood happened is that she found a guy with better game and a nicer car who was willing to take her on exotic vacations every now and then. Nothing wrong with that. He won. However, the immediate hot-to-cold was definitely cause for a bruised ego; I quickly got over that. You either really do cultivate abundance, in which case you’re set to let go of the pain of pride, or you keep calm and simulate abundance by masturbating into oblivion.
    On the other hand, I’ve found the complete opposite of Czech girls, and I suspect this may be true of Russian girls who are too poor to emigrate in search of rich sugar daddies. They are fun, smart, love to converse and relatively low-maintenance. Women who don’t leave their hometowns either can’t play the game because they’re too poor and as such realize that choosing the monogamous strategy has a higher personal pay-off because it’s the best they can get, or they grew up in a strong patriarchal society, such as Poland or Croatia. That being said, if given the opportunity, all women value the experiences that money can buy over a stable monogamous family life (they are inherently predisposed to selecting the relatively most wealthy mate in their accessible vicinity, even if he has other partners, and will always do so long as the personal benefit exceeds the cost of social shame, of which there is none in the West, and as far as I can tell, the far East).

  25. hard experiences prove:
    when all else fails
    always ask sincerely-
    ” so, ya wanna fuck?”
    w/ a smile, of course.
    A.’.O,’,

  26. She was in early recovery. Sounds like she was testing the dating waters as an abstinent woman. It could be any number of things which made her feel uncomfortable, but I suspect she felt the urge for a drink despite knowing she probably shouldn’t. I doubt it had much to do with you, especially as you seem to have very tight game with women. Sometimes I think we can over-analyse these things when its just a case of a fickle woman with shit going on.

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