Girls

Even A Lame Approach Is Better Than No Approach At All

132 Comments

Last week there was some interesting discussion in the comments on my article, which was about the need for men to seize the moment and not to pass up opportunities to meet women they are attracted to as they go about their daily lives.

I hadn’t intended the article to be a paean to daygame, but I guess that’s how it turned out, as my basic point was that there are women all around us every day, and the smart man doesn’t wait for permission or for the “right moment” to make an approach.

One comment in particular caught my eye – the following, from Captain Nemo. I hope he won’t mind me quoting it in full, as I think it contains an important concept that is worth discussing further.

Good article. Some people chicken out because they start thinking: ” what the fuck should I say…” and then they end up screwing up the chance not saying anything because everything they came up with sounded too fucking dumb. I on the other hand sometimes bypass such things by deciding to say the most retarded shit I can come up with instead.

Does it backfire a lot? Hell yes it does, but when it works, it works. In fact, acting like a retard actually landed both me and my friend some LTR material. So to those who are still trying to get their shit together and have trouble coming up with what to say to that lovely chick that can’t take her eyes of of you, remember the following: “Even a retarded approach can get you more than not approaching at all”

That last sentence is golden. Internalize it, and it will free you up to go out there and make the mistakes that are necessary in the journey towards becoming great at meeting girls.

As men, we naturally tend to be both logical and competitive. These are great attributes in themselves, but when applied to a discipline like pick-up, they can sometimes be detrimental. If, like many of us, you have spent a good while reading pick-up books and forums as well as watching videos, then you will have a pretty accurate idea of what a good pull should look like. At the same time, your competitive streak probably means that you would prefer to do it better than the guy on YouTube or not at all.

Here’s the lesson: to get really good at meeting girls, you need to kill your ego. Stop trying to live up to some self-imposed standard of pick-up mastery. Stop trying to be the next Mystery, Krauser, Janka, or Roosh.

Why? Well, first because you need to be prepared to take risks – speaking to strangers on packed trains, in coffee shops and in the street and so on – and you won’t be able to do that if you’re scared not to make a mistake. And second, if you think your pick-up heroes never fluffed an opener or ran out of things to say mid-set, then you’re deluded.

But there’s something even more important than that.

We all know that to some extent pick-up is a numbers game. That’s not to say that you can’t improve your odds, and do better or worse in a given situation by studying technique. But it has been said that you will likely encounter three types of girls when you go out – “yes” girls, “no” girls and “maybe” girls. The best pick-up artists are those who can convert the “maybe” girls – after all, they’d get the “yes” girls anyway, and the “no” girls are never going to happen. The point is that only a third of sets you encounter will be susceptible to influence.

As for the rest – the majority – your goal on the initial approach should simply be to introduce yourself and get her contact details so that you can continue gaming her later. OK, same day lays do happen as a result of daygame, but in the main it’s at least a two-stage process.

Strategy

As such, your strategy should be to initiate contact with as many cute girls as possible, screening out those who are definite “no”s and adding the others to your database to contact again later. When you take this industrial approach, the manner in which you open and precisely what you say in each case isn’t necessarily that important.

Sure, in an ideal world you should aim to present yourself as smooth, charismatic and sexually dominant, through verbal and physical indicators such as wit and strong eye contact. If you can say something penetrating and amusing that communicates these characteristics and gets the girl giggling, then that’s great. But what about if you are tired, or in a bad mood, or if your mind goes blank when you see her? Or if you only have three minutes before catching a train? Should you avoid approaching because the approach may be a little under par? Not a bit of it. Approach anyway.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve broken the rules and it’s worked. I’ve walked up to girls, told them they’re hot, and straight up asked for their numbers. No funny stories, no DHVs, no amused mastery, no game – just a straight-up telegraphing of male-female desire. And it’s worked. I’ve contacted these girls later, gamed them a little over text message, taken them out and then slept with them.

On one occasion I was in a restaurant, saw a cute girl and got the waiter to pass her a note with my number on it. In theory, a beta move – after all, I didn’t even have the nerve to go up and talk to her (actually I was with my boss and I didn’t want to look sleazy). But she contacted me, we messaged for a while and things developed from there.

My point is that your primary purpose should be to initiate interactions and collect contact information. You should not concern yourself with being a pick-up hero, or doing anything dramatic. Sometimes normal works. Sometimes “game” that is too polished comes over as fake. If you can’t think of anything else to say, just walk up, tell her she’s pretty and ask for her number. It’s worked for guys forever. Some days you’ll be on fire, other days you’ll suck. But if you do it often enough then you will run into girls who are into you and you will end up having sex with them.

GK Chesterton once wrote “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.” Bear that in mind, and free yourself from the need to achieve perfection as you go out tonight to celebrate New Year’s Eve, and hopefully to meet new women. Remember: the only thing you absolutely have to do is approach.

Happy new year to all ROK readers, and happy hunting!

Want to start 2015 meeting and attracting beautiful women? Then click here 

Read More: 6 Ways You Can Motivate Yourself To Go Out And Meet Girls 

132 thoughts on “Even A Lame Approach Is Better Than No Approach At All”

    1. Tonight’s a perfect time to practice. Nobody gives a fark, girls actually will tell their cock-blocking Jabbas to fuck off, and they want (typically) to get laid.
      It won’t be great practice, but it’s still practice!

      1. Yeah, I’ve never understood the concept of guys getting cockblocked by the friend. That’s BS. She is using that as an excuse not to fuck you. I have gone home with a girl who was with a group of friends, one being her sister, who were telling her explicitly not to go with me (I had pumped and dumped another in that group) and she actually got into an argument with me on the way home.
        If a girl tells you she would do something but her friend is holding her back she is lying. Girls have no friends and don’t care about anything other than what feeds their ego at the moment.

    2. Those who fail to try still fail.
      Most men do not fail from trying…most men fail from not trying in the first place.

  2. Failure is a far greater teacher than success.
    Rejection is thus a healthier outcome to the development of PU Artistry than IOIs.

    1. This is why you paradoxically find a lot of really great-looking guys (tall, dark, muscular, etc.) with piss-poor game who act like beta bitches around women. They did not experience failure in their formative years. Embrace failure.

  3. The section about the a retarded approach is better than no approach reminded me of your improv article for some reason.
    From your article on improv class:
    you are taught not to sweat being the next Steve Martin or Nietzsche. Not everything that comes out of your mouth is going to be a perfectly-formed Wildean bon-mot, or earth-shatteringly intelligent.
    Same thing here.

    1. Speak for yourself. I’m as Cool as November and as Smooth as China Silk. 😉
      Happy Slaying,
      Mistral

        2. I’m as smooth as a stripper’s ass and as cool as the choad I blast in her face. How’s that?

        1. I think you need to run that through the Buff-N-Shine a few more times…..let me know how it works out.

        3. Practice makes perfect. You should check out red pill comedians like Bill Burr, etc. Joe Rogan, also.

  4. The picture of the hot brunette reminds me of how hot women were back in the late 60’s to early 70’s.I wasn’t born yet but damn they were hot.She reminds me of Steve mcqeens girlfriend in Bullet.

    2. The wheat was different back then. It’s the wheat that is causing these blubbery orca whales. It’s not their fault, they are curvy not fat. It’s the wheat dontchaknow.

        2. Someone needs to tell her that she doesn’t need to bother with those diet cokes….they’re clearly not getting the job done.

        3. Another “Average” body type of Plenty of Shit. Except the pic would have been taken from above.

        4. That’s exactly what I was thinking! Stocking that fridge wit Diet Coke is like pissing on a forest fire to put it out. Assuming, of course, she could find her pussy under all those rolls to aim it anywhere except down her leg!

        5. Seriously doubt it would go down her leg. More like down the Hot Wheels race track of her hardened flab around her stomach, possibly several loopy d loops there, followed by the hash house swamp run through the crack of her ass, and then have her sleep on it for a fortnight or two.

        9. I worked in healthcare for 35 years and trust me, it’s real bad down there. Discoloured skin, pimples, gagging smell and raging yeast and cellulitis infections. Here’s tip: If you can’t find it, wipe it or clean it without assistance then maybe, just maybe you are too fat to live.

        10. Yeah, really not helping the appetite. I should be more careful what I read near meal time.

        1. How about eating one slice of bread instead of eight? Here’s an abstract thought. I have been going through a terrible time job and money wise and have had to reduce my portions to make food last. Guess what the outcome is? I’ve lost weight. Absolute miracle!!

    3. She’d have been considered above average back in the 60’s. Now she’d be a hot babe 8.5. American standards are in decline.

      1. It’s the wheat, gluten, lactose and insulin resistance. Don’t forget PCOS as the latest mantra excuse of beasties everywhere.

        1. I agree that diet is the main cause, but I point the finger mainly at processed foods. In the 1960s you still had mom staying at home cooking a fresh meal. TV dinners were just becoming popular. There wasn’t GMO food and hormone laced meats yet.
          I think wheat has been a staple at least since the 1960s in the west. Gluten, from what I understand, is not bad per se, but it is in anything and everything we eat, so we are OD-ing on it. Same with sugar. It’s fine, just don’t eat a dose of high fructose corn syrup with every meal, which is hard to do now.

        2. It’s not like anybody is being prevented from home cooking at gunpoint, though. There’s also a lot of countries where people sustain themselves mostly on wheat products, and stay thin thanks to overeating being too expensive.

    5. By the way, I love that line where they are lying in bed and he gets a phone call, and after he hangs up she asks him who was it, what did they want? And he just smiles and replies with a cool and calm “Not for you, baby.”

    6. Dude, I know right! I love watching movies up to the early 80’s because people were still skinny and women were way more feminine. Hell yeah Bullet is the shit. I wonder how many guys went out and bought mustangs and challengers after seeing that movie.

      1. I got a 2008 Mustang Bullitt model. Fun at the race track, drag racing is to easy, lets see what one can do on turns. Recall the scene at the end of Bullitt where he tells the one woman not to scream but she does so he hits her. In a real life situation this would happen, you don’t see that to much today. Part of McQueen’s attitude came from his time in the Marines. My god the trouble he caused. Semper Fi.

  5. Strategy: “Here’s the lesson: to get really good at meeting girls, you need to kill your ego.”
    Alternate Expression: To get really good at meeting girls you need to….go meet girls. Even if you suck at it. You’re not going to suck less by making excuses. As the engineers say, “If you really want to know, go and build it.”
    Hypothetical Questions: “But what about if you are tired, or in a bad mood, or if your mind goes blank when you see her? Or if you only have three minutes before catching a train?”
    Stone Cold Answer: “Stop being a pussy. Or admit you like dick. Pick one.”
    Happy Slaying,
    Mistral

    1. To add onto this, you need to talk to a lot of girls to realize what goofy idiots most of them are. How can you be embarrassed about what a moron thinks of you?

      1. Yep. I almost feel that, with younger guys, I should say something like “She’s more scared of you than you are of her” or something. Worst case scenario, she says “no”. Big Fucking Deal. On to the next one.
        I suppose worst-worst is she acts like a cunt. I’ve seen an uptick in this when I am out and about lately. It seems that more girls feel like that they have to be snarky bitches rather than just simply politely declining. No skin off my ass, but tough on younger guys I think. I suppose it pays to have a couple of one-liners ready if you run into such a beastie.
        Two of my faves:
        1. “What do you use for birth control, your personality?”
        2. “You’re terrible at flirting.” On one epic occasion, I said this to a girl who was trying to bogart my place at the bar. In full cunt mode she yowled, “I wasn’t flirting with you! I wouldn’t go out with you if you were the last man on Earth!!!” I took a brief moment to line up my shot and then administered the coup de grace: “If I were the last man on Earth, you wouldn’t even be allowed in line.” Cue: mushroom cloud. 😉
        Mistral

        1. “What do you use for birth control, your personality?”
          This is gold right here. Funniest shit.

        2. Remember, the art of being original is remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
          I’d tell you where I heard that, but I forgot.*
          Mistral
          *Laurence Peters, the father of the Peter Principle, said the first sentence. The 2nd is mine. 😉

        3. “If I were the last man on Earth, you wouldn’t even be allowed in line.”
          Epic counterattack. I applaud you.

        6. Merci. Later when she told me that nobody ever talked to her like that, I told her she probably doesn’t get out enough.

        8. “Quotes you hear on the Internet are rarely correctly attributed. So you might as well attribute them to yourself.”
          — Abraham Lincoln

      2. Yep, lots of girls are edgy, nervous. Basically, they have moments of emotional “weirdness” that you can see from their body language, as if they are having “facial contortions” especially.
        But you as a man, want to appear perfect, make the right gestures, “faces”, have control even of your subconscious body language gestures so that you don’t appear needy, creep & co.

  6. I agree a 100% on this article.
    More than the succesful approaches, the lame and failed approaches were the ones who really thought me almost everything I know until now about game.
    Don’t reject failure, embrace it instead, for it will give you true improvement…

    1. Totally man.
      If you get rejected 500 times, tweak your game, and land a chick that makes steam come out of your ears, you will look back on those failures and smile from cheek to cheek.

  7. The most important thing a man can learn is that there will always be another women, and another, and another….

  8. Well, I sure as hell did not expect seeing something I wrote getting featured in a RoK article. Truly an honor. Thank you, Troy.

      1. Thank you, And I wish you a Happy New Year too! And a Happy New Year to everyone else reading. Cheers ! *kaching*

  9. Good stuff TF. So many men think your game has to be picture perfect every time out to pull. NEGATIVE. Similar to what your commenter pointed out, girls I’ve approached and fell on my face with rarely end with even a number close. But when they do give up the digits they tend to stick around longer than girls I’ve run ultra smooth, air tight game with. Yes, rock solid game yields better results in terms of approach to lay percentages but retard game (intentional or otherwise) has a little more sticking power.
    The reason for this is that their little hamster brains love the “organic interaction” with a man rambling some off the wall retarded ass shit on a “chance meeting.” She can’t wait to tell her friends the story of how the two of you met highlighting your face palm worthy game to the tune of her friends swooning with a resounding “awwwwwwwwww” with their panties growing ever moist as they snort that line of chick crack that is the Rom Com fantasy.

  10. Absolutely true, Troy!
    If you don’t approach a girl that you find really attractive (even with the lamest of approaches) you always wonder what might have happened. Would you have gotten her number? MAYBE! Would she have rejected you and told you that you are the ugliest/sleaziest/etc. (add other superlatives) human being that she has seen in a long time? MAYBE! Would you have gotten her out on a date? Who knows, MAYBE! Would you have ended up sleeping with her? MAYBE! Why not? Would you have ended up dating her for a bit? MAYBE!
    The thing is though, if you don’t approach her you might never ever see her again and you won’t find out what would have happened. This has happened to me (too) many times and I was always wondering what would have happened…
    Yes it is quite possible that she might reject you for a variety of reasons – but at least you had the ‘cojones’ to approach her and stop wondering what would have happened…I find that a very pleasing thought!
    Happy New Year to all Return of Kings readers and our host Roosh!

    1. But we should still ditch the “one who got away” mentality and just keep going. Sometimes we slip up, sometimes one misses that one opportunity due to fear or something negative AT THE MOMENT. We can recognize that life is like a river, the same stream isn’t going to come back. When a man has that mentality, the chick or the river “who got away” won’t be a problem to him, because there will be more fresh water, fresh fish, fresh new chicks coming down his way.
      😉

  12. Some of my best lays were from the worst openers. “what’s up?” “how’s that sandwich?”. Too much emphasis is put on the opener to the point of paralyzing newbies. Often times a newbie ejects after a good opener because his goal was delivering a good opener, rather than getting the girl. It’s really the middle and end game that should be emphasized most. Most openers no matter how bad will at least give you a chance to run a play.

    1. Something relevant such as “How’s that sandwich” is about as good as an opener can actually get. Even so, statistically speaking, the most successful opener in history is:
      “Hi.”
      As you note, it’s what comes after that that determines success or failure.

  13. Needless to say, you won’t do those good approaches unless you practice doing the awkward ones.

  14. I need this article. Lately i have been depressed and as a result i have stop approaching women altogether because getting rejected would have just made me even more depressed. I felt too much of a loser to approach anyone. Now that i know that success with girls isn’t that big of a deal i can finally do it without thinking my entire world is going to end if i get rejected again.

    1. Some PUAs pretend that everything they say gives a woman an instant orgasm. I’d bet money that the majority of keyboard alphas sit at home and jerk off just as much as the next guy.
      Pretty sure if you watched even the tightest PUAs in action the majority of what you see is those guys getting shot down. If you saw him in real life you’d probably think “Wow that guy is as lame as platonic spooning. What a loser.”
      But if you see that same guy picking up a chick successfully and having fun doing it on another occasion, you’d be thinking “WTF? What has that guy got that I don’t?”
      The correct answer: Absolutely nothing… He’s basically the exact same as you. He just faced more rejections.
      I get into a rut sometimes after I have a string of success where I don’t want to approach because I don’t want to feel like a beta after feeling like an alpha. Feels like I’m going backwards but its actually an illusion. I always have to remind myself that I felt this exact same way the last time before I started pulling ass.
      The premise of the article is truer than you think.

      1. “I get into a rut sometimes after I have a string of success”
        Yes. I use the analogy of sales when it comes to broads. Calculate closure rate per number of contacts, decide how many you want to close per whatever time period, and keep filling the funnel/farming to meet that quota. As you get successful and loved, sometimes you can start to think: “These people love me, these hot broads love me, You prospects are in a lower league of what I have and have been with so why would I place myself at your mercy to tell me to fuck off”?
        Pay them no mind. Its usually the times when you feel like doing something the least, which is when you need it the most, for mind spirit and body. If you only worked out when you felt like it and were psyched up for it, you would probably work out a handful of times a year. Tomorrow being one of them, yayy resolutions. Bullshit. Attack. Everything is a marathon, not a sprint. And by the way. fuck “resolutions” Set “goals”. Resolutions fail. Goals you work toward.
        Happy New Years Brothers.

      2. “I get into a rut sometimes after I have a string of success . . .” How funny; I consider it a success when I have a rut into which I can get. Preferably, it’s pink and well-groomed. 🙂 No applause necessary, gentlemen.

      3. Hahahaha he said “keyboard alphas”
        I love it.
        Makes sense, many “sound” like alphas through their articles. Imagine meeting them in person?

    2. Precisely, I have never ever regretted talking to a girl, no matter how awkward or “embarrassing” the outcome may have been.

  17. From day bang “im in the business of getting dates not getting numbers”
    sure the yes girl will say yes no matter what. she is ripe and ready provided that youre good looking with confident body language and she doesnt object on your looks. I use props and open indirect and bait her to ask a personal question then i ask for the number (day bang model). I was in San Francisco in a coffee shop on a rainy day and i approached a girl by asking her: i forgot my contacts (i dont wear any) is it still raining out side?
    I find a lame indirect opener in the day in 10x better than a direct opener on western women. They cant handle this amount of confidence first and it just gives them an ego boost.
    One more thing, go hunt when people are not bat shit crazy like NYE, halloween, 4th, etc… sure you will get the occasional abandoned shit faced whore. if her beta orbiters didnt get to her first

  20. The true game is no game.
    When you can pluck the beauty from the bar,
    you are ready to leave the monastery.
    Yield and wear away, this is the Way.

        1. Really? That’s what you got from my comment? Sorry if I upset your delicate sensibilities.

  22. Yes lets approach left and right like desperados, because the snowflakes are not being validated enough as it is. Im a court jester because as a man, that’s all I will ever be.

    1. What the snowflakes feel is not relevant at this point. If you’re not interested in wifeing them up, their addiction to validation becomes useful.

    2. The key my friend is to avoid places where the typical validation princesses and attention whores conglomerate. This includes most clubs/bars.
      Nothing mentioned in this article is exclusive to those places.

  23. When drawing a blank, blurt out the lyrics to whatever song comes to mind. Not really opening lines but try lyrics to songs. Don’t sing them but speak them in monotone ‘speaking’ voice. The words may be out of place but she will have a memory of the song come to her after a few seconds, buying you time to get the ball rolling before she is inclined to break the contact and continue on her way.
    Try something like ”I’ve got two tickets to paradise” (Eddie Money). She’ll think for a moment if there is some event going on somewhere near. If she is 18-ish looking, a line from a Bieber or Gomez or hip hop song spoken as if it were conversation. Day game no telling what music is rattling in her head as she is strolling down a busy sidewalk. You might just hit on the song she is bobbling her head to as she stands at the crosswalk.
    I saw this one girl nodding her head up and down as she sat in front of a convenience store once. I noticed she had NO EARPHONES so I sat next to her and began bobbling my head and pretending to play drums. I said ”I love this song, don’t you?”. That was my first opening line with her. She kept pressing me to read her mind then and tell her exactly what song it was then that she was thinking of. The point is that immediately we were talking.

    1. I thought I was the only one that did this lol When my friends and I go out, we’ll just spit out random Drake lyrics. My favorite is “you’re a good girl and you know it. You know exactly who you could be”. The girl looked at me funny, thought about it for a second and laughed, then asked “isn’t that Drake?” It’s definitely a great ice breaker

  24. 90% of the women you approach will never sleep with you. But 100% of the women you don’t approach will never sleep with you.
    Even with no game, if the girl likes you, you can still get the girl, just because she likes you. Before I learned game, I landed several girls like this. What I said didn’t matter at all, they just liked me because they thought I was cute, or liked my confidence, or some other attribute.
    Also, before I had game, I hit on girls a bit. 90% of the time the worse case scenario is nothing happens or you get shut down when you make your move. You never get slapped out or beat up or shot. The worse I got so far was get lost creep.

  25. One thing to remember is that women are absolutely useless and retarded at starting conversations with men they are attracted to. I’ve experienced enough (and no I am not Brad Pitt) to know it true. women can only handle it when its played into their frame of you already indicating some sort of attraction. Take the philosophy of just building, building, building – build your skills, build your networks, build your contacts.
    Also one thing I’ve really found helps is aplying the same mentality to making same-sex friends to pickup. You don’t give a shit if you don’t hit it off with some potential buddy, so apply this to women.

  26. I need more tips on how to talk to women with whom I don’t share the same language. I live in China and my Mandarin is elementary at best, I only know how to flirt by saying “you are very beautiful” in Mandarin Chinese and get their WeChat contact info. It’s a shame too because the Chinese women love foreign guys, they’re different and exotic and always have money so they tend to be more attracted to foreigners than Chinese guys, so it’s a massive advantage, but at the same time the language barrier is an even larger obstacle. WeChat has a translate feature and we can both converse via smart phone of course then it’s useless in person. American guys who live in the US, don’t take speaking the same language as the women you’re attracted to for granted. Believe me, flirting is easy, all you need to do is make eye contact and a few jokes, American girls are sluts so it doesn’t take much to get in their panties. But being able to communicate is a priceless gift.

    1. You don’t always need to speak the language to bang them, although of course most times it’s easier if you do. I lived in Japan for years and can speak from multiple personal experiences. I’ve had harems of Japanese girls I cound never carry conversations with.

  27. Thanks for the new angle on this matter. A new rhetorical statement can boost motivation to approach girls.

  28. Actually a good article, but it hurts me reading this.
    Two years ago i had a great opportunity but i messed it up.
    I ve been at a party outdoor in a park. A very famous german celebrity was at the party, too.I really like her music and she is exactly the kind of woman which i like.
    She passed my by twice, saw me and smiled at me.She gave me some very clear IOI.
    I said something funny to her and she smiled even more.Then she met some other party guests and talked to them.
    I knew that this was great opportunity and that i should keep on talking to her.
    But unfortunately i got more and more nervous and my head was full of negative thoughts like: “Oh my good she is soo famous..shall i really try it?..will i fail?..what will happen?..is this a dream?” ( and so on..)
    So therefore i was too scared to approach her again.The party was over and she left.
    I am afraid that i will even think about it and still regret this when i am an old man.

    1. Yeah, remember, it’s probably even harder for someone famous to make a personal connection. Ever notice how movie stars are always marrying or dating each other? It’s because they never meet anyone else. And anyone else they do meet is probably too nervous to make a move. Just remember, NO woman is worth getting nervous over.

      1. Thanks.
        You re right.Celebrities usually rather socialize with other celebrities or artists.Usually they dont really socialize that much with “fans” or “normal” people.Of course there are exceptions.Some years ago Liz Taylor married a construction worker.Cher dated an 18-years-younger bagel baker.
        ” Just remember, NO woman is worth getting nervous over.”
        Easier said than done.I dont know which female celebrities you possibly admire…
        Is it Rihanna? Beyonce? Shakira? Scarlett Johannson?Megan Fox? Any other? I dont know..
        So imagine that one beautiful day such a woman is really standing right in front of you and smiles at you..
        Will you get nervous? Is your game good enough?

        1. The fact is I really don’t like that many famous females. Even Angelina Jolie doesn’t do much for me. Perhaps because I find fame anti-feminine. Of all the singers I would say I enjoy Sheryl Crow and . Now Scarlett Johannson could have probably make me sweaty and pop some pimples at one point, but honestly after seeing her slutty side in some of her later films she doesn’t really do it for me either. I like Amy Adams / Sandra Bullock types but they are too old so probably wouldn’t make me that nervous. But I agree, easier said than done. You just must remember that it is true. No woman is worth getting nervous over. Hell, those actresses are probably terrible in the sack anyway.
          A good way to kill your fear? Ali MacGraw and Linda Ronstadt would be two of my all time favorites. Just google a current image of them now and see what happens once they hit the wall.

        2. i did.Its shocking…
          Or search for “stars without makeup” like here…….
          http://radaronline.com/photos/nearly-unrecognizable-20-shocking-photos-of-stars-without-makeup/photo/528572/
          I guess this really cures “approach anxiety”…
          Or when you see a hotbabe on the streets just try to imagine her without make up.Approaching her might be easier then.
          Oh yes, Sandra Bullock.The woman of my dreams in the nineties.Some years later i found out that she married a kind of “bad guy”.I was very pissed about it and refused to watch her movies for many years.

  30. This article is EXACTLY what I needed to shield myself further from the ever present whispers of approach anxiety. Thanks a lot, man!

  31. This article is EXACTLY what I needed to shield myself further from the ever present whispers of approach anxiety. Thanks a lot, man! –

  32. Great Advice!!! I was in sales going door to door, B2B office stuff that we were importing from Asian factories, selling direct. Prided myself on being polished, knowledgeable, mannerly, etc. One day walked in to a place and the manager said, “What are you selling.” “Got some stuff you might need, take a look,” while I opened my book in front of him. Was very matter of fact, “na, you don’t need this, check this out, get you some comps on that.” Don’t know why I did it this way that first time, but it became my MO for the next few years and almost always worked regardless of the person I was selling to. Dropped all the technique that I was taught and just rolled with it. Never dropped my knowledge or good manners, just became assumptive. I think that this is what happens in the advice in this article. Saying anything assumes that you have a right to say anything, inner game, like you belong there, have a right to talk to her, etc. When I watch really good players, I notice that they assume the sale in life; they are not beating themselves up with technique. Often they do not get shot down since they are not expressing non-verbally the guilt that they want (covet) something. Inner game eliminates the guilty conscience that gives the infectious charm and sets others at ease.

  34. You may never know what could or could of been if you let fear and expectations control you.
    Its tough to admit but, mainstream, teen movies had me feeling this way. From the start it showed me who can have their fun minus the people that could. Its like the chicken or egg question. I don’t know if it was kids that started that in high school or, was that just something that was trained in us. Point is, it made me afraid to even talk to the “Hot” and “Popular” girls because I feared I would get looked at as if I was lost and pointed towards the right direction of the art class.
    This mindset I believed left me at lost from having many, many opportunities to spend time with some pretty girls who were (Without me knowing) in their prime for the LAST time. Instead, I let what I seen on TV stop me. Sure, the “Nerd” managed to win in the movies but, I knew how to seperate fantasy from reality when it at least came to that point. I knew the nerds stayed in their place and fucked with their people, while everybody else followed suit. Only time you would see a nerd and a “Popular” girl talk is when she needed someone to hold the camera, find directions, and of course, help with homework. Just seeing that little bit made me stuck in a fantasy world and yelled “See! I knew it”. It fucked me over.
    Luckily though, I snapped out of that “Popular over everything” mindset and went for some knowledge that could not be found in popular culture. It broke my mindset and helped be get a much better view of the world instead of living under a idea that was created without my exclusive interest at heart. If it wasn’t for going through two heartbreaks I would of never made a post about Patrice O’neal due to such BS like “He is not as popular as Dane Cook. Why should I watch this?” Thank god I am out of that mindset and can see things clearer
    http://associationofchronos.com/2014/06/28/behind-the-blog-patrice-oneal/
    Point is, this post is correct. At least trying to see a new direction will change your eyes and see a new alternative. Will you fuck up? Sure. I know damn well I have and still do. But at least you know something instead of knowing nothing at all. Whether that is good or bad on a grand scale is a whole other conversation in itself so, when it comes to women, its better to know than to not know. Don’t let fear make you miss out on what can be a fun night or even life.
    http://associationofchronos.com/2015/01/01/fear-women-expectations/

  35. practice and fail but fail gracefully. You will reap the rewards later. Good advice from the author. This can apply to a lot of things in life.

  37. But what about if you are tired, or in a bad mood, or if your mind goes blank when you see her? Or if you only have three minutes before catching a train? Should you avoid approaching because the approach may be a little under par? Not a bit of it. Approach anyway.
    Coincidentally I was reading Rooh’s book Bang. This follows his advice exactly.

  38. It might be lame, but when I was stationed in Spain, a good opener for me was to ask a Spanish woman in Spanish, if she spoke Spanish. She would usually laugh and say of course I do,,…and its off from there. Of course you have to learn some Spanish.

  41. I kinda remember something the great ROSE BUDD BIDDER DOSE said , we care to much of what the bitch is thinking . Who cares what she thinks , the only thing you should be thinking about is being focused . Getting your point across into her mind, or something to that effect.

  43. Welp you guys have offically motivated me to go to the wallgreens down the street from me and use old school pick up lines and clean my self up from there

  44. My biggest concern when talking to these fickle minded creatures is to make myself attainable/relatable to them and one of the ways to do this is to be self-deprecating. Oh, and don’t beat yourself up if for whatever reason you did not talk to a girl … I have always encountered another cute girl to talk to usually the same day in the most unexpected places … as Janka said, women are the 2nd most abundant commodity after water.

  45. My biggest concern when talking to these fickle minded creatures is to make myself attainable/relatable to them and one of the ways to do this is to be self-deprecating. Oh, and don’t beat yourself up if for whatever reason you did not talk to a girl … I have always encountered another cute girl to talk to usually the same day in the most unexpected places … as Janka said, women are the 2nd most abundant commodity after water.

  46. Finally got my head out of my ass and went for my first daygame cold approaching afternoon 2 weeks ago. NC’d a pretty chick with a lame-ass approach, went on a couple of dates already, she’s pretty cool. The feeling of making things happen is awesome!

  47. Here’s the lesson: to get really good at meeting girls, you need to kill your ego.

    Here’s another lesson: That applies not only to learning to meet girls, but to learning absolutely anything.
    You won’t learn without making mistakes. So suck it up and start doing it, whatever it is. Yes, you’ll suck and you’ll fail. And there’s no way around sucking and failing if you want to eventually learn not to suck and fail at it.
    That used to be common knowledge a century ago. But then came mandatory public schooling, wherein entire generations were repeatedly punished for doing things less than perfectly. Repeatedly humiliated for this in front of their peers. Having every failure on record, and punished and humiliated again for these records. Conditioned to fear failure, and therefore fear trying.
    Failure is your friend. You learn from your failures better than from anything else. Do fail, and fail often, so that you learn, and learn often.

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