First the basics. I was in jail. Not prison. Some people still get it mixed up.

The first time I went was in my hometown for a mix-up on an old traffic ticket. I was only there a few hours. The second time I was in a big city. Long story short, I refused to sign a ticket because the lady cop was an idiot and tried to make me agree to show up to court for something I wasn’t guilty of. It was a license plate issue.

Then it turned into a scuffle with three of them etc., and…I got arrested. I don’t regret it—dtand your ground and NEVER agree to anything you know isn’t right. I don’t give a fuck who it is.

So what did I learn while I was in the shit house for a couple days?

1. Correctional officers don’t correct a damn thing

From the ones I know personally, this is not a jab at you guys. I’m simply speaking the truth. No one is being corrected. There’s a reason people become repeat offenders. My cellmate was on his third stint. If he was “corrected” then he would have returned to society and become a lot more productive.

Didn’t happen.

He was back in for “knocking out a cop.” All correctional officers do is unlock doors, tell you when to eat, and direct you where to go. If you have TVs inside the main block, they change the channel. That’s it. Oh and they also break up fights from time to time.

2. There need to be stricter standards for hiring police

I was chatting with one of the correctional officers during our free time. I told him about the lady cop and what she was trying to make me sign. He gave me the “I cant believe that bitch” look.

Him: You shouldn’t even be in here, you already don’t have a criminal history so ain’t no money to be made off you. She didn’t know what the hell she was doing.

Me: Mannn, I know. I’m not a lawyer but I know what a legal tag looks like.

Him: Sometimes we get people that don’t know what the fuck they’re doin’. They get a badge and get stupid. Maybe she was new.

The standards need to be a lot more strict for entry into the police force. The whole ordeal was a complete waste of everyone’s time. And not profitable for the city.

3. It’s a money game

Talking to the correctional officer was a trip. He straight up told me it was a money game, which I was partially aware of already. My arrest happened at the very end of the month. So they tried to “get me” for anything they could. Serve and Protect takes a backseat to Probe and Collect when it comes time to meet those quotas.

Yes, he admitted that there is a quota they have to meet from time to time. As for the officers on the streets, this is not entirely their fault. They are being forced to meet these quotas. They have jobs they want to keep, and bills to pay. I get it. But dammit so does everyone else.

4. Homeless People Get arrested on purpose

The conditions in big city jails are a clusterfuck. One of the reasons they are overcrowded is because there are countless homeless people getting arrested on purpose.

They have no money, so obviously they can’t provide any profit to the city. But the officers HAVE to make the arrest for the simple misdemeanors homeless people commit. They go in to get a place to sleep for a few days, and get a few free meals. Sad shit to witness, but eye-opening nonetheless.

5. The mentality of ghetto black youth is damaged

I saw a ton of younger guys in there. My cellmate was 23 but a lot of the other guys were 18 and 19. The reasons they got arrested were not what intrigued me—rather, their behavior inside the place was what caught my attention.

These young kids were comfortable. The way they carried themselves inside a jail almost looked “natural.” They were at home in a sense.

This is scary. For someone to be that much at home, in a place like that, at such an early age shows a mentally damaged group of individuals. The only thing on my mind and a few others was getting the fuck outta there. But these kids were completely at ease and content.

And again, the majority were young black males. Whether it’s socioeconomic or cultural, it’s like someone went into the communities and dropped a “fuck it” bomb that completely erased the sense of discernment or awareness of consequences. Or maybe they are aware of the potential consequences, but just don’t care.

I know raising children starts at home, but if you are a correctional officer, something should be corrected in these young adults so when they are released back into the community they are able to be productive instead of destructive.

But that wouldn’t be profitable would it?

Most importantly (saved the best for last), if you do end up behind bars for a while, do not by ANY means drink the clear kool-aid they serve. It’s addictive and delicious. But it has a secret ingredient that keeps your dick limp. I’m dead serious. I guess that’s how they cut down on gay behavior. I was drinking it like beer when I was in there (for less than a week) and didn’t notice anything. But when I got out a buddy of mine told me what it does, and I noticed that my dick wouldn’t get up for a full week after I got out! And when it did rise up a little bit, it was only a semi. Scary shit.

Don’t go to jail. If by some strange twist of fate you end up there…don’t drink the kool-aid.

Get coffee or water. Cheers.

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