There are words and moves that are so weak and that are so inherently beta that they bring a fatal blow to your game. These game-killers are as important to keep in mind as they are easy to avoid…
1. Giving or taking Facebook contact information.
If you met a girl, the last thing you want to do is downgrade you interaction to Facebook. If you are interested in her, there is no reason to either make her your Facebook “friend” or become one of her 500 Facebook friends. If she asks you “Are you on Facebook?” this is a perfect opportunity for you to mess with her lightly and ask “Why?” When you refuse to take your communication all the way down to Facebook, you will stand out so much in this day and age, when so many guys out there think that Facebook is the “safe” way to go. Perhaps they mistakenly use the term “safe” where “lame” would be more appropriate.
2. Giving your number out to girls.
Realize that the girl who takes your number is not going to call you. Very few women can hop over the well set social barrier and call the guy first, even when they are the one who get the guy’s number and even when they are interested in seeing that guy again. If you ask the girl for her number and she says: “Why don’t you give me your number instead?” you should say that you are a gentleman, and you believe that the gentleman should be the one calling the lady. If she still doesn’t give you her number, then you say “Never mind” and walk away. She didn’t give you her number because she is either not interested, or too careful for her own good , or socially confused. Either way, there is nothing you can or should be doing about it.
3. Bragging.
This is another classic beta behavior and a huge turn-off to women. The more you talk about how accomplished and great you are, the more likely you are to come across as an insecure puppy who needs to be patted on his back and who is lacking the most basic confidence with women. I seriously doubt that the likes of Bill Gates or Warren Buffet have the need to announce about how successful they are. You are not Bill Gates but you can certainly learn from him how not to try to impress others. You best way of impressing might just be simply not trying to impress.
4. Small talk.
Small talk is meant to be an ice-breaker, not the “meat and potatoes” of your interactions with girls. Making comments about weather, her earrings and what’s on your plate at a dinner table is not going to make you sound interesting to be around, and it’s not going to make her want to see you again. Excessive political correctness might have been programmed for you since you remember yourself being able to talk, but it’s also an express, one-way ticket to boring the girl to death or, at best, to friends zone, which I am sure you want to avoid.
By avoiding these four mistakes you already jump your game to the next level. Try it.
Read More: Facebook Is Hurting Your Game
good post, would be nice to see some more game tips now and then as they seem to have vanished completely
I think Facebook is way much more efficient that a phone number. You’d better get used to it as it will be the standard way to keep in touch soon.
psh, facebook is old news and on the way out. I deleted my account forever ago. It’s still good for business promotion, but that’d be it.
Yup. Been over 2 years since I deleted my facebook. Don’t see why dudes are still on that shit. Telling girls that I don’t use facebook is also a DHV imo.
Facebook is vox pop shit imho – and one becomes more of a rebel by not having a FB presence. On the other hand for some skags a man doesn’t exist unless he has facebook.
I agree. I think Facebook can work, but only if you avoid making mistakes 2, 3, and 4 (or 3, 3, and 4 rather) AND restrict your activity to getting phone numbers and making dates with girls on the Facebook Chat.
Dumping your life story on Facebook is what chicks do… perhaps it should be called Chickbook.
Of course if you use it like a beta you would be beta like any other way to contact her. I’ve got some chicks I cold approached in real life very into me after a few Facebook chat. It’s like saying that calling on the phone is better that texting whereas no young girls answer to their phone anymore ahah
Brandon 2.0, I agree, I meant social networks/internet in general.
Facebook is nothing more than a chick circle jerk.
The number “2” is missing “2”
point 3.
it depends,
if you’re doing something like chatting with them, and they give an indication that they’d like to meet up with you again, you can say ‘yeah text me’ and give them your number. (i.e. the sale has already been made and you’re making her do the delivery)
if its the situation you mentioned where she’s just trying to wind you out of giving up her digits, then i agree its bullshit and a waste of time.
for me, i’m lazy. if a girl is interested in me and down to bang, i’ll either try that night, or let her make the effort, texting me and so forth. and then the conversation via text is short and sporadic, and only about meeting up. i let her take those extra steps of effort. and in the end when she gets the bang she feels like she’s won a prize.
If she asks for my number, I give it to her.
Same here, and even then I try to hesitate.
My attitude is simple; I don’t give a fuck!
What does that do? It makes girls drool after me.
I find it extremely difficult to avoid bragging. I understand that DHV has to be snuck covertly into conversation, but it just never comes off that way. I killed a text exchange dead recently where she was flaking due to being exhausted from a camping trip, but she offered to reschedule. Like an idiot, I said I felt the same way when I got back from an earlier trip and asked when she was available. Never heard from her again. Bragging AND qualifying for the lose. While not a jumbo-tron fail, saying “yeah, for sure” and texting a new date a few days later would have sufficed.
It’s damn difficult fighting against decades of garbage brain programming, but it’s worth the pain and effort.
“It’s damn difficult fighting against decades of garbage brain programming, but it’s worth the pain and effort.”
I agree it is worth the effort.
“Warrant Buffet?”
Are you for real?
This is the era of easy sex. You know, girls are liberated now. 🙂
3. Bragging
Same advice found in Dale Carnegie’s “Winning Friends and Influencing People”. Don’t talk about yourself; ask and talk about her. In the professional world your acquaintance will think you’re a fantastic conversationalist. For your game, it will do the same thing and add an aura of mystery about you that will keep her interested. My .02
Great succinct article and all really good points.
For all those that still think Facebook and Internet dating are still more “efficient”…
While you’re hitting up dozens of girls on FB and OKCupid, et. al, I’m interrupting them from responding to your virtual adoration by approaching them at the bar, lounge, club, coffee shop, boring dance recital, library, park, etc. — anyplace I see girls transfixed to their iPhones and/or laptops.You might as well be kicking penalty shots at the Brazilian goalie from mid-field. I’m kicking him in the nuts and rolling the ball in the goal while he’s on the deck writhing in agony.
Get out there and do the work lads! Facebook means [email protected] Phone numbers mean nada! Kino and kiss are fun, but mean nothing! Bring home the BANG.
Spend your time online honing your game. Sharpen the saw, as S. Covey says, then go out and clear cut a forest.
I would add another one:
Facing your body toward her.
Learned that one from CH, and it’s totally 100% true. If you’re talking when doing so, you come off as overeager, and if you’re just standing there, you can come across as a creepy hoverer. If you face your body obliquely away, to the side or whatever, you come off as much more casual and cool.
Related to this is staring at her. Has anyone watched the South Park episode “Spookyfish”? Yeah. Exactly.
Also, I would recommend getting a pheromone cologne. There are several different brands, and I know that Pherlure does work, and it’s also quite stable over time. It is my opinion that because of the pseudoestrogens in the water supply (female Pill-laden urine) and the food supply (soy products), that men aren’t giving off their natural pheromones to as great a degree as they used to, along with our lowered sperm counts. Therefore, we may have to consider phermonones a nutritional supplement like vitamins.
Are these pheromone products really effective? Seems like snake oil to me but I’d like to know others’ opinions.
The small talk thing is huge. Men are constantly talking about all the boring crap they think they’re “supposed” to talk about, rather than things that will turn a woman on or create sexual interest.
Giving out your number can depend on the situation. If you give it to her but don’t take hers, then if she does call you know she’s down. Saves a lot of wasted time.
I suppose that strategy might work if you want high-T women.
Can you elaborate on the small talk thing? What exactly does and does not constitute “small talk”? Obviously talking about the weather and what she does for a living is small talk, but do you have a link or something to some conversation topics that would NOT be considered small talk?
Thanks in advance,
Nick’
What you think about something. Or what you feel about something. Anything. An idea. Anything interesting is going to be something that another person can’t exactly tell you. Otherwise it’ll come off as not genuine (lol. like that’s a concern) or forced.
So anything that feels natural to me should work?
“Facebook? I prefer MySpace. Or how about Friendster?”
The first one is a killer. I gave a girl my facebook and the time-bridge was just ruined.
What happened? Can you tell?
Some women are only good for small talk anything substantial messes with their brains.