Every time a college or high school aged young man asks for game tips there is always one piece of overused advice thrown about: the most important thing for young guys in the game is to “be popular.” While being popular is indeed important for very young guys as they game girls from their own respective schools, telling guys to become popular as a blanket statement does not address the subtleties of how it affects your game.
Your school is a massive friendzone when it comes to you and the girls, and the smaller the school and the longer you have gone there the more so that this is true. As such, popularity is not enough. Being well liked by your peers simply means that you have been already been put into the friend and classmate category by the majority of the cute girls and that you get invited to house parties. Popularity is literally is only a foot in the door to get into them, yet you still need game to be able to pull at them.
On the other hand, being not only popular while having a reputation for being a player act together in synergy, turning girls who would have been firmly friendzoned you into prospects when they are open for fooling around both inside and outside of the party scene.
Only a minority of “popular” guys in school are players. Most of them will have had a girlfriend or two during their schooling years, being popular in itself hardly means that vagina will rain down from the sky like much of the marketing hype for young guys game advice on the internet implies.
Unfortunately, unless one were to begin quite young, it is difficult for a non-natural to gain a reputation for being a player within their school, simply because learning game requires that one approach a large volume of girls one has never met before, meaning they will be outside of the wider social circle of your school.
Therefore it’s not a good idea to tell young, up and coming high school aged guys to merely become popular in school. Instead, young guys need to cold approach as many girls as they can outside of school and improve their social skills and confidence. As they do this, they will gradually become more and more popular in their school.
The most important lesson for young guys to take from this is that improving your game is your number one priority rather than becoming more popular, the later of which will become totally moot once you finish school.
Read More: Why Demographics Matter For The Younger Man
Being popular in high school is much like joining a good fraternity in college, or being well connected in a party scene as a bachelor: it gives you access to the hottest women around, but nothing more. You get invited to, or throw, the parties where all the hot girls get wasted and let loose. You still need to do the basics, that is, chat, tease, escalate. But it’s really unnecessary to complicate it beyond that. My close friends and I were very popular in highschool. None of us had heard of game and we all slept with some women. However, the guys who got laid the most – I’m talking about banging 30 or so girls during high school – simply weren’t afraid to tease and escalate with the hot girls that everyone else put on a pedestal. Where being popular in high school really pays off is when you want to bang a lesser known girl.
My advice to a high school kid, get an ID and a place to party. Develop a solid drinking crew and consistently have people over or plan camping trips and whatnot. Start a band and play shows. Don’t think too hard about this game stuff. Don’t over-intellectualize it or you’ll end up like so many of these nerds who theorize more than they spend time with women. But most of all, don’t be intimidated by the hot girls. A little humorous teasing and good body language will do the trick. Good luck.
Being a nerd and outsider during high school, I can only offer my observations, but here they are:
The most popular guys in school (jocks, rich kids) seemed pair off with the attractive girls around sophomore/junior year and stay with them until the end of school. I didn’t hear much about anyone sleeping around or fucking the entire cheer squad, possibly because HS is a closed environment, and anyone acquiring a reputation as a player (or as a slut) would’ve been quickly ostracized. The closest thing I’ve ever seen to that would be an attractive guy who had sort of a circle of female orbiters, who would take turns dating him in succession. Also sometimes there would be damaged sluts who where widely hated but still slept around anyways.
For someone who isn’t a natural it seems like a difficult environment to practice in because if you were ever rejected, people would gossip about it immediately, ruining your chances with the other girls.
I’m out of high school now, so my advice to young cats would be to just not worry about that shit right now, and spend your time working on some skill or talent that will help you later on, like playing guitar or something. High school is only 4 years, and although it seems like everyone is having sex but you, there are actually a ton of intelligent kids who don’t really come into their own until college.
I can concur. I wasn’t very popular in high school myself. While I wasn’t bullied or anything along those lined, I was fairly invisible. I only really liked one girl back then and for the life of me couldn’t bring myself to ever talk to her. When she did find out that I had a crush on her, she went ape shit and pretty much ruined almost 3 years of my life. Literally no girl at my school would talk to me. I had to go to my prom with a girl from a different high school.
The biggest determinant of being a player in high school is the size of your high school.
If there’s only 200 kids in your class, you aren’t going to get more than 1-3 notches with cute girls. There simply won’t be enough options for you.
But in a high school of 10K kids or more, with a solid 2000+ kids in your class alone, then you can really score some high numbers.
A lot of the game is due to factors beyond your control when young, thus there’s no sense in getting worked up over how many lays you get while young. A man’s sexual lifespan is so long that it barely matters what you do at 16-18 anyways.
I like this. I would probably tell these kids to go to a mall and approach all the teenage girls Day Game style
Awesome post, wish I had resources like this when I was in school!
I think similar principles could apply to other environments as well.
Being popular is completely pointless when it comes to game. Whenever i go back home for the holidays i usually stop at the bar for a few drinks and laugh to myself at the “popular” people who are now in their mid twenties, have zero game, and have physically let themselves go. It gets especially rewarding when you’re at those bars and having multiple attractive women approach you for both having great game and having kept yourself in shape. While being “popular” definitely helps at 16-18 its just that, a 2 year window. you may envy the local popular kid while in high school for seeming to get the hottest girl in school, but once you leave that school and realize the 10 is really a 7.5 it changes your perspectives real quick.
“but once you leave that school and realize the 10 is really a 7.5 it changes your perspectives real quick.”
That was the first thing I noticed when I started cold approaching.
a lot of sour grapes from the formerly unpopular up in here.
don’t delude yourself into thinking popularity is anything but a massive positive with the hottest high school girls.
Can I give you a female perspective. I’m not totally sure I understand what you mean by game but popularity seems to be a positive thing. I’m dating a guy 6 years older than me who is super nerdy and not in the best shape. But apparently he was very very popular at boarding school and still has a lot of very close friends from there. The think I like about it is that even though he’s not particularly handsome any more, he still has that certain confidence that comes from having been popular. Women love him and he’s confident without being a jerk.
I realized this the beginning of my junior year of HS. I was in the marching band, Boy Scouts(got Eagle), Marine JROTC, and swim team. Stuff no one did. Perhaps I realized it without knowing it, but doing the “popular” things didn’t appeal to me. I found myself putting on a show just to be accepted.
Younger guys out there listen up: do what you like. Lose friends that HAVE to do the popular thing. You won’t miss them, you’ll be having too much fun.
Now this kind of advice also can go for the older men too. I am an older gentleman(late 30s to be exact) & I am thinking about going back to college. At the same time though, I am also trying to get a job tutoring university students as well. So I will keep this advice in mind the next time I go on campus.
It’s even sadder when the hot chick you desperately wanted to date in High School is now an alcoholic single mother of 3 still clinging to the idea that men find her irresistible. Her Jock boyfriend is long gone but she still feels entitled to the perfect 10 despite having devolved into a 4 or 5 at best. In any case, a 10 in Wyoming does not equal a 10 in Miami or NYC. Get travelling, guys