5 Bachelor Pad Essentials

The advantages of having an optimal living situation are well-documented. In a perfect world, you already live in a happening neighborhood where there’s a healthy cocktail of cafes, high-end boutiques, lounge-bars, and other skinny-girl magnets. In other words, you have a salad of day and night venues, with countless locations to loiter, browse, work, and “randomly” meet girls. You also live alone, without having to deal with pain-in-the-ass, cockblocking, or mangina roommates. Your place is roomy, has a view, and looks expensive.

Only a small percentage of us are fortunate enough to have all of those ingredients.

But, regardless of whether you live in your own 3,000-square-foot loft, or rent a room in an apartment with 12 other guys, there are things you can do to maximize your quality of life, and your chances of turning female guests into bangs.

1. Good Lamps

It’s difficult to over-estimate the importance of quality lighting to a space. Good light makes cheap stuff look better, makes you look better, and, more importantly, sets the mood. In a world where more and more places have that hideous fluorescent light that makes everyone’s eyes look bloodshot, warm incandescent bulbs—cast into corners of your room—is like a soothing balm to your guests.

Bonus: A lamp with a dimmer switch.


2. Framed Wall Art

Even a college freshman knows that bare walls are undesirable. What a lot of guys don’t realize is that a taped-up Reservoir Dogs poster is almost as bad. Even if it’s a cheap piece of garbage that you got at a second-hand store, put something on the wall that’s in a frame. Unique-looking pieces—for which you can fabricate an elaborate story, even if it’s obviously made-up—are ideal.

Bonus: A hand-painted piece custom framed by a professional shop.


3. Home Bar

If you’re over 21 years old and not a recovering alcoholic, there’s no excuse for not having some alcohol at your house at all times. Drinks-at-the-house is one of the most powerful (and easy) lures for bringing girls back to your place. But, like anything else, delivery is everything. You should have more than a half-finished bottle of Popov in the freezer. A simple piece of furniture, matching glasses, a selection of mid-shelf alcohol, a few mixers, and a bucket of ice is enough to get you started, and does miracles for rounding the bases without being tagged out.

Bonus: Legitimate mixologist skills honed through practice or a formal bartending course.


4. Good Speakers and Playlist

There’s an episode of Three’s Company or one of those 80s TV show where a hairy-chested guy walks into the room, hits a wall switch, and some easy-listening music track automatically comes on. That got a laugh back then. Nowadays, it gets you points. Take your time to put together a killer list of ambient, un-jarring, non-popular music that’s at least three hours long. Set it on loop just in case and have it ready before you leave the house. But remember: kick-ass music is no good coming out of some cheap, tinny laptop speakers. Invest in something with a subwoofer.

Bonus: A big LCD TV to run visualization effects full-screen while the music runs.


5. A No-Shoes Policy

You shouldn’t be allowing people—especially girls you don’t really know yet—traipsing mud into your place anyway. But having a no-shoes policy has the added advantage of getting a girl one (big) step closer to being clothes-free. There’s nothing worse than having to contend with a tight pair of Uggs mid-makeout. Girls without shoes curl their legs back on the couch, recline, and get comfortable for you.

Bonus: Japanese-style guest slippers.


In the end, you have to remember one thing: women like comfortable, intriguing spaces. And, the more comfortable a chick is, the more she’s interested in getting comfortable with you. Everything you add—and take away—from your bachelor pad, however humble, should enhance those features.

Read More: The Holidays: Amateur Nights On Steroids

46 thoughts on “5 Bachelor Pad Essentials”

  1. Solid list. #1 is huge. Can’t stress how important lighting is to mood.
    If I were to add one more, I’d say an iPad. Show a random picture from a trip on it. Naturally she will show you some “hilarious” YouTube clip, or video from some “super original unknown” band. It’s much more intimate than a laptop or smart tv and gets you both very close.

    1. I have a few go-to videos and websites that I show girls at my place. The more show-and-tell stuff you have (whether that’s a video, a funny book, or any other prop) the better. Digital stuff is no exception.

  2. Good list. A couple of additions:
    1. A comfortable queen- or king-sized bed. It needs to be large enough to freely switch positions during sex and provide plenty of room to lay out after the deed.
    2. Candles/fragrance – the power of smell is stronger in women and can do much to help set the mood. Using candles doubles as a sensual light source as well.

  3. Brillant list. I particularly liked #5. I’d also suggest an extra toothbrush and some female friendly shampoo. Now she won’t feel pressed to leave because she can’t get ready for work at your place.

  4. ipad, big bed, scented candles — more great suggestions. this stuff is fundamental, and falls under the underrated and critically important “logistics” category.
    great stuff guys.

  5. Big, big but subtle tip: don’t have a bed frame. Keep the queen-size bed, but stick the thick mattress on the floor (corner) instead. Cover it with tons of thick blankets. In my experience, this subtle difference gets girls real horny and comfortable (i also had a bean chair in the other corner) though I’m still trying to figure out the psychology behind it
    Ive always been divided on the poster issue. What types of posters really work? i’ve seen successful guys use oldies bands like Hendrix or Bob Marley, but perhaps real art is the way to go.

    1. A platform bed–which sits low to the floor–has the same effect, but more elegantly.
      There’s no problem with posters, provided they’re framed and well-placed.

    2. Dude,spot on!
      I came to this conclusion ages ago!Just buy a so called divan sofa (very low base)!

  6. Big, big but subtle tip: don’t have a bed frame. Keep the queen-size bed, but stick the thick mattress on the floor (corner) instead. Cover it with tons of thick blankets. In my experience, this subtle difference gets girls real horny and comfortable (i also had a bean chair in the other corner) though I’m still trying to figure out the psychology behind it
    Ive always been divided on the poster issue. What types of posters really work? i’ve seen successful guys use oldies bands like Hendrix or Bob Marley, but perhaps real art is the way to go.

  7. Art is clutch, but it has to be good art – not just a $9.99 generic decoration from Michaels. My art has gotten me laid more than I can count. I have odd-ball pieces from friends hanging up all around and then a corner of all my own stuff just kind of stacked up and hanging out. Broads will inevitably want to look through them. Go take an art course at the local college and hang up your finished product. It’s an automatic conversation piece for you to display value.
    Also, it sounds kinda gay, but try a Scentsy. They are really good at giving a slight fragrance without being overpowering. Plus they come in masculine smells unlike most candles (Leather, Hemingway and Imperial City are my three favorite). Some of the man-scents do smell like a frat house basement though.
    Finally, not a must have, but definitely a great addition – an animal trophy (that you hunted obviously). You don’t need a wall of racks, but some deer or caribou antlers right upon entering let’s a broad know she just descended into a real man’s lair.

  8. Few more items I have ..
    1. Skateboard and a snowboard in the front room , ‘ whoa you are really sporty .. ‘ yes I know I can pump for hours
    2. How to draw books bought from amazon for next to fuck all .. Chick crack . Left under the coffee table
    3. Wall art of pictures from my travels put into canvas
    4. Plants (most dying but looks ok)
    5. Keep bathroom clean , chicks always go in the .
    6. Instantly change into slouching track bottoms when arriving home .. ‘Slumber game’ Benefits are two fold , 1. You don’t have to make any more effort to look nice she’s already back at yours 2. It sets the tone for bed time 😉
    7. Mirrors .. Chicks love mirrors
    8. Drinks

    1. One more genius thing we use … A Polaroid camera left on the side that casually makes an appearance when we get chicks back .. It’s retro , quirky chick crack AND we get a trophy picture afterwards . Extra bonus is we stick up all the photos .. Social proof .. Gets chicks asking to be put on the ‘cool wall’ and begging for better positions . 100% hit rate

  9. Personally, this article reminds me of something that you’d find in a woman’s magazine. Something like this is not going to make or break your game, or even make a significant difference. If you’re even taking the time to worry about things like this, I would argue that your head is in the wrong place. Just my two cents.
    Also something to consider: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9F7hcJfm68

  10. Chicks always make a beeline for the bathroom, without fail. It’s like some test of your fuckworthiness. So keep it nice and tidy. Otherwise, solid list.

    1. I agree. I also keep interesting reading material in the bathroom. Even though that’s the most spartan room in my place, I try to make sure everything I have in there is quality. Believe it or not, a designer bath mat makes a huge difference. Same goes for a REAL shower curtain.

  11. Damn, I thought I already had everything I needed down on my move out list but I didn’t think to get a home bar. Cheers Tuth.

  12. Fuck that. My lair is where i escape the matrix, unwind and plot with cohorts. Letting broads know where you rest in these times is like giving the enemy your co-ordinates. “Oh i was in the neighbourhood and stop by because i saw your car, bike, lights on, music on and the.drawbridge down”.

  13. Roissy had a great post about telling a woman you don’t allow women with clothes on in the bedroom.
    Then, she’ll be dying to see the bedroom. I keep a lamp lot and the door ajar. Never had it fail. Lol.

  14. My apartments were always done in a Spartan/artist theme –
    – low bed on a minimalist frame with no headboard or footboard.
    – bare wood floors, polished and clean enough to eat off of, maybe one area rug somewhere to define a space
    – tons of art and photos all over the place, too much to have it all up at once, so some is up on the walls, but the rest of it propped against the walls, so it suggested a constant flow of endless rearrangement (bitches loved to make their own selections)
    – drawing, painting, or photography equipment right out in the open. It could be music stuff if that’s your thing
    – sculptural figurines, or drawing props, or some other 3-D art. This is key. It really livens a place up, even one that’s otherwise fairly minimalist
    – eye-level lighting, not overhead
    – clothes hanging on one of those industrial racks, out in the open, next to open shelves for folded items and shoes (but no visible underwear, so those go into a bin or drawer)
    – any table tall enough to be a dining table gets stacked with books or other objects of my interest, thus suggesting that all eating is done elsewhere. Dining tables are for families and women. Bachelors eat out, standing up, or maybe sitting on a sofa or coffee table.

    1. The art studio minimalist thing was fairly popular. But one time I ended up house-sitting for a friend of a friend, while the owner of the house went on a 2-month trip to Europe. He was an architect, and had a pretty swank pad.
      When I first walked into his place, I assumed he was gay. Big, oversized furniture, in an elaborate whorehouse style. A giant sleigh bed that looked like it was made for the Borgias. Rugs everywhere. Even his coasters were high-end.
      But, apparently, the guy pulled more pussy than he could keep track of.
      So, go with what works for you.

  15. I was in a situation years ago where i had to commute into a metro area but already owned a house too far away. So, i setup a bachelor pad. Treated it like a private hotel. You can go a lot cheaper if you do not have to live there, enough to hire a good cleaning lady. The location was a bit noisy at night and the neighborhood was marginal, but ridiculously close to where i was picking up girls. The rent was low because of this. Especially for guys living with their parents, this works. They see you being responsible but not settled yet. You come home when you want so the space takes on a very purposeful layout, pun intended. The fact that you are living so minimally makes you intriguing. For me it also became almost like a monastic haven.
    The lack of any personal connection to the space is very liberating. Whether it be your work or art or the crimson arts, the space will inspire you. You don’t realize how many cues there are when you are invested in a space. When you create this type, the girl focuses totally on the image that you create for yourself. I remember mounting and displaying some of my photographic art and bringing the exact book(s) that I intended to read. The mystery used to drive females wild. Their hamsters would spin when they would ask where my stuff was, like extra clothes, other camera equipment, other shoes, you get the idea. “I keep them at the house,” would make them crazy. One even thought that i was married and loved the idea, great sex.
    You don’t realize how insanely serene it is when you have only exactly what you need for a given stay such as your favorite tea and honey and cup. You have some extras in the small kitchen, but there is no connection to the space. Literally, i could have picked up my computer, camera and bag and abandoned it yet the place looked sharp. You don’t realize how annoying keeping house is until you do this. If you don’t have a house like i do or live with your parents (actually you should do this anyway), you should inventory your stuff and get a good and secure storage facility contract as your closet. A young apprentice of mine actually seasonally changes his wardrobe at one.
    Right now i have rented a room with an interior bath from a lady with a large house that is near some of my action so i don’t bring pickups into my house. I have a key and direct hall access, can come and go as i please, 500 per month NYC, in a hot area, heat and electric included. Any young guy can pull this off.
    Another way is to have a medium size boat. I did this while in between houses. Just make sure that you know something about boats AND, it must have a great toilet (head) and hot water shower. If you are in a warm climate, this could be your residence full time. You must be in a marina slip for this to work and not in an area where storms can damage you. In other words, you must know something about the whole boating thing. Costs will be a bit higher, budget 14K per year and 20K to get started and the boat must be at least 35 feet. Mine did not even sail. Before you balk at the numbers think of what city living and down payments and broker fees cost on condos and apartment rentals. A guy at a starting salary can do this. Remember girls think that boat means shabby and damp and rotten facilities. When she is surprised by your waterfront condo, you are in. You can take an old sail boat and have all of the exterior painted to look like new. You should also paint a good portion of the interior wood to brighten it up. Oh and I had a cleaning lady for the boat.
    Note on cleaning ladies: Most of the high-end exterminators in Manhattan are telling me that when their clients get infestations, it is from the cleaning ladies. Stay away from South American illegals; i use the polish ladies and have been very satisfied.

    1. I’d have to argue against your statement that “any guy can do this.” It depends on your budget. I’m young and have student loans. Making my salary with no student loans I might be able to manage it, although I’d probably be getting a second job.

      1. If cost is an issue, check out the inexpensive bachelor pad items at bacheloronabudget.com
        Great article btw, good tips

  16. no shoes… never even crossed my mind. i like wearing my shoes throughout the day. but i see how much work this takes out of my escapades so i think ima do it.

  17. ‘What a lot of guys don’t realize is that a taped-up Reservoir Dogs poster is almost as bad…’
    Jesus, how did you know? There’s a Pulp Fiction poster taped on to the door of my room! Shit, I’ve got some redecorating to do…

  18. “There’s nothing worse than having to contend with a tight pair of Uggs mid-makeout.”
    Oh, I can think of a couple of worse things…

  19. mann… the “home bar?” i mean, after she’s in your apartment, you can pretty much rape her and legally away with it.

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