The 5 Most Common Types of Cockblockers

We’ve talked about how the deck is stacked against men getting laid by a prevailing culture of cockblocking—people and institutions working behind the scenes to prevent you from getting trim. But, there’s very little you and I can do about that. What’s more, on a day-to-day basis, we’re more likely to face the more visible types of cockblocker: actual people who do things to your face—intentionally or not—to salt your game, and in the process, scare off your prospect, extinguish your hard-earned rapport, or rattle you enough that you drop the ball.

With social ineptitude and obesity at all-time highs—the root causes of the resentment, frustration, and jealousy behind most cockblocking—the number of cockblockers are also higher than ever. With the further multiplier effect of the Internet, you really are beset on all sides.

That said, not all hope is lost. Cockblockers still break down into the same traditional taxonomies. Some are in-house (your own “friends”), others are external (her friends), and still others are environmental (strangers). And, even if you don’t have a competent wing man (an increasingly rare species) to help distract or usher your game killer, there are still ways to handle the most common types.

The Hoverer

This is often a guy in your party, even a friend. Too afraid, or incapable, of entering the conversation you started, he will instead loom at an awkward distance, making your girls uncomfortable. Even when you try to include him in the conversation, his contributions are negative, at best, further hurting your chances.

Best Response: Box them out. Physically cut them out of the conversation in a gradual way, turning your back on them or wedging them with your hip or elbow. Ideally, you should re-position your girl’s field of vision away from him.


The Crab-in-the-Bucket

This is the most dangerous in-house obstacle you can have, yet every guy seems to know at least one “friend” like this. This is a guy who climbs over you to try to get to the girl you’re talking to, pulling you both down in the process. He’s either a shitty wing man, who refuses to follow the guy-who-opens-gets-first-pick rule or a guy who wanders around “looking for his buddies,” but is really just looking to poach pre-approached girls. He makes jokes at your expense, in a lame attempt to ingratiate himself with your girl. To make matters worse, he rarely has good game, so he further discredits you by your being associated with such a lame-ass dude who doesn’t respect you.

Best Response: Stop going out with him or cut him out of your group entirely. I’ve not once succeeded in reforming one of these assholes. In order to do so, you basically have to teach these guys game from Square 1, which they’ll never learn because they obviously can’t or won’t. They see themselves as entitled to your prospects, actually believing the girl is fair game unless you’re actively penetrating them. Move on.

The Wrist Grabber

The classic cockblock move that remains as effective as it is simple. She drops in deus ex machina and extracts—often physically—your prospect from the conversation. The excuses range from a rushed, ambiguous “we have to go” to a more elaborate “we’re meeting ‘our friend.’” They’ll often fool less experienced players with the promise of going to the bathroom and coming “right back.” The goal is to “rescue” your girl whether or not she actually wants to be rescued.

Best Response: As much as you want to dress down or physically harm the wrist grabber, your best bet is to swallow your rage and ask her for “a couple of minutes” in a manly, but friendly, manner. While the angriest fatties will respond to this polite request with rudeness—granting you license to escalate to an old-school call-out—some will either leave you alone or linger in the conversation, enabling you to rap to them both. You can then bounce them over to the dance floor, get a solid phone number, or a sufficient amount of the friend’s approval to break loose entirely.


The Snarky Color Commentator

This is often a problem in group settings where you’re outnumbered by her friends. You’ve successfully entered their group and captured everyone’s attention with your scintillating observational humor. But this girl, often on the uglier and fatter side, is accustomed to getting the laughs and loud-mouth attention in this hen house. She will compete with you for the group’s attention, interrupting you with bitchy remarks, resorting to inside jokes in an effort to exclude you, or lob thinly veiled insults at you in a passive-aggressive tone.

Best Response: Include the snarky friend in the conversation, but steer her away from her lame attempts at humor. Ask her and the group questions about unrelated matters. Take the first opportunity for a side conversation with your prospect as soon as there’s any fragmentation in the group conversation. If that doesn’t happen, “borrow” the friend for a “few minutes.”


The Curtain Puller

This is one of your more hostile types. This is a sideline observer—often one of your target’s friends, but not necessarily—who’s taken up the mission of “exposing” that you’re hitting on your target. She will say rude shit like “Is that your line?” or “Do you always hit on girls here?” in an effort to rattle you and “warn” your “innocent” would-be “victim” that you have intentions. Given that you’ve done this before, you’re not phased by being outed, just likely irritated. More importantly, it may embarrass your target and ruin the interaction.

Best Response: Restraint in your best friend. While you’ll be tempted to verbally slap down the curtain puller, that’s what she wants. Like Emperor Palpatine, you’ll only make her stronger by striking her down. Roll with the exposure. Do some behind-the-scenes narrative about what you’re doing and why you’re hitting on this girl, all in your best cheeky tone. “Hell yeah, that’s my line. Your friend looks like the type who likes sandwiches, so I’m building rapport by telling her about my impressive sandwich-making abilities. After this, I plan on asking some questions about that interesting bracelet there. Are you going to give me a chance to finish my presentation?”

Cockblocking is a reality of masculine life, one that’s especially pronounced in nightlife game.  More times than not, a determined cockblocker will be successful. Five minutes of rapport with a complete stranger is so fragile that it takes very little to shatter it. But, with a little restraint and some tact, you can deflect a lot of cockblock attempts and salvage your interactions.

Read More: The Holidays: Amateur Nights On Steroids

37 thoughts on “The 5 Most Common Types of Cockblockers”

  1. good article. some how i think saying “Your friend looks like the type who likes sandwiches” will be will misinterpreted into womanhamsterese as “your friend is fat”

    1. My example was presuming an unambiguously skinny girl and a conversation about food. Insert your own example where you double down on your game and transparently (and proudly) “explain” it (more like selectively present it to make it seem like you’re supremely unshakeable).

      1. I once sold a car while explaining to the customer every ‘trick’ we used in the business, at the stage they were to be used, and exactly why. I even told them which responses were to be elicited and how, and went through closing with an explanation of the 4 square system, how it was designed to maximize profit (and how), and closing techniques like ‘scraping them off the ceiling’ which is a fave in the car biz.
        They loved every minute of it, and bought the car (at full MSRP).

        1. Classic example of how to make a sale by crossing the fourth wall. This, I’ve found, is particularly effective on more intelligent types, who respect your honesty and appreciate you respecting their intelligence.

        2. I call this the “I’m gonna cut through the bullshit” technique.
          “I’m gonna cut through the bullshit and give you an honest explanation of why I am charging you more than other people have quoted you”. It works damn near every time. It takes a certain personality type for this to work for, but I’ve gotten really good at sniffing out those kinds of clients.

  2. On the side, which nationality you guys think is the biggest girl cockblocker… I would vote in the english, reckless fatties.

    1. Absolutely true. I’ve had to deal w/ a ton of cockblockers recently and had to control my emotions to the best of my abilities. What works for me in this case is Abundance Mentality. If I don’t get the girl because of a cockblock, I know I will get another girl, paradoxically, that mentality keeps me cool and calm to continue focus on the girl am chasing and to address the cockblocker with tact.

      1. I must say I blew my top on the second ocasion. She was a nice hot gal and we were having a very nice chat but her friend would not take a hint she would not even notice my wingman who I must say did a terrible job. Needless to say he said he was not happy doing the wingman for this time as the girl was to hot and her mate was not even half deicent one

  3. Lately I’ve had to deal with an internal cockblocker: the white knight. He’s similar to the Hoverer but he inserts himself into the conversation to apologize for a “rude” comment I’ve made.

    1. I know exactly the type. I’d call that kind of dude more of a crab-in-the-bucket style, since they’re trying to ingratiate themselves (this time with the whole female gender) by throwing you under the bus. These guys have zero understanding of women and get nervous when you’re the least bit provocative. Despicable.

  4. Nice header photo. It looks like it was taken before digital camera technology. In fact with the exception of the blimp on the left, the girls look like from the 1970s almost.

  5. I’ve encountered them all and more, including the guys who will ask “how’s your wife?” as soon as they notice gals perking up for you. I will say it again, if you are dancing you have successfully pulled her away from the hen house which mitigates this somewhat.
    Frankly if there is any group interaction you are likely going to get blocked. Have definitely wanted to stomp to death some wrist-grabbers; very common tactic.
    Encorpera co-worker shenanigans mirror this phenomenon exactly, for a different purpose.

  6. At Encorpera I always maintained a strict policy of showing zero interest in female co-workers. This did not prevent feminized men from trying to publicly nuke me by making stupid remarks when in the presence of females. Even worse, porkulent females making a public spectacle of “rejecting” me when I had no designs on them.
    When you are a dancer, you have a life outside the cube where scorn and rejection from women carries no employment cost.

    1. “For now.” LOL. Hope to see you in the comments the next time I decide to take a ride on that political wagon, even if it’s to flame me.

  7. Wrist grab cockblock– Turn the tables and CB the CB’er by performing some psychological Jujitsu.
    In a Spock-like fashion, raise an eyebrow and respond with , “Facinating!” as if you just observed the outcome of some psychological field experiment. Pick up your drink and take a sip, and grin devilishly as if your a Svengali puppet-master with a secret. Act as if what just happened is exactly what you anticipated would happen. Don’t say another word, but wait for the CB’er to respond, “What? What that’s supposed to mean?”
    Your comment is an dangling carrot. It’s unfinished business. Both your target and the CB’er will have reason to stay just a bit longer to find out what you mean by your comment. You’ve just turned the tables by using the CB’ers vanity to keep them there to wait for your explanation as they’ll think your observation is about them.
    Of course, you’ll need another moment alone with your target before you can share your thoughts (which you never will) as you were in the middle of a conversation when you were interrupted. If your target has any interest or investment in you, she’ll oblige and tell the CB’er to let her go off with you for another moment.
    Isolate her and tell her that it’s cool that her friends are looking out for her and it’s good they came for her to protect her the attraction that must be noticeable by now. Tell her they are the kind of “friends” you want her to have and that you’ve invite to your next party or get together (bs of course) as they are “good people”, the kind you like to hang with. You need to give her this info because her CB’er friends are going to learn what you said to her, and it appeals to their vanity and makes them feel like dicks for taking her away from you. Also let her know that if her situation changes, you’ll still be there for another few minutes before you likely leave yourself to bounce to another venue, in which case she should text you if she’d to meet you there. Get her in your phone and release her to her friends. If she still presses you about your comment, just tell her that you’ll need to let her go as her friends seem to be in a hurry and it would take you some time to do your explanation justice. Besides, nature is calling and you need to hit the boys room. Let her know that it would be great if she could stay longer and talk more, but it would be better if the two of you could hook up another time, even during the day to pick up where you’re leaving off.
    Immediately excuse yourself to the restroom so there’s not time to explain anything else to her or her CB’er. Avoid any kino, kiss, or hug unless she initiates it, lest the CB have a stronger reason to dislike you. A goodby hug is is ok if she initiates. As you pull yourself away towards the restroom show some grace and class by thanking her CB’er for being patient and looking out for his/her friend.
    You just now bounced on the CB’er by taking yourself and your explanation away to restroom. While your away the CB’er will press your target for he explanation. She’ll likely share your complimentary comments about her friends — that you’d invite them to your next party and other such bs.
    The effect should is that you stroked the egos of the CB through your target, which may change their attitude enough to allow the target to either hang longer and maybe even start to like you. You’re covertly winning her CB’er friends to your side enough to get them to relent and let your target hang with you.

  8. “Tuthmosis” (did you mean Tuthmoses) should really learn how to spell before pretending to be a writer.

  9. In regards to the Snarky Color Commentator:
    “borrow” the friend for a “few minutes.”
    And then what? What am I supposed to do then, Game her, too? Even if she looks uglier than Jabba the Hutt?

  10. The Curtain Puller is the most hostile and most dangerous of all the CBs.
    And if she’s very good friends with the target and the target happens to put a lot of value in what the spiteful, bitchy little bitch has to say, there may be nothing you can do. Even a silly, tongue-in-cheek response about sandwiches and presentations could easily be twisted into something terrible and evil by an experienced Curtain Puller.
    “Ohhhhh, so you admit you’re just trying to get in my best friend’s pants! You pig!”
    And keep in mind, unlike you, she doesn’t have to be restrained. She has a friend to look out for, so she can be just as rude and crude and nasty as she pleases, her friendship gives the perfect excuse to do so.
    Still, I do agree that restraint is your best friend in this situation. But it’s no guarantee. I’d recommend getting a wingman to fend her off if you can.

  11. ohhh excuse me while i FUCKING cry because you babies didn’t get sex or something out of a girls…. because that’s why girls are for, right?

    1. This sounds very much like the cry of a frequent cb’er lol
      No love, you’re just jealous and fat, and she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you to piss off, even though she IS interested, because you’ll then end up sitting in a corner, making her feel guilty crying that ‘she left you again!!’ and eating a full tub of icecream. Again.

      1. Actually she’s right. It’s a good way to get out of a conversation without being outright rude. Guys in the club just do not take hints, no matter how apathetic your responses. You didn’t notice the ‘come get me look’ she threw her friend.

        1. Doesn’t mean she ISN’T a rage-ridden, fat sloppy cow who is just mad she’s not getting a lick of attention. Why do cute girls always use fat and ugly girls as cannon fodder to direct attention back at themselves anyway? Oh no wait, they’re friends with the cow because “she a nice personality’, yes of course! SiIlly me!

  12. The worst cock blockers are the girls who talk shit behind your back to the girl you are interested in because they are getting fucking jealous.
    Would love to read a post about how to deal with these backstabbing cunts.

  13. Good tip on the curtain puller: “I bet you have a dick between those legs haven’t you?” or “So how big is your dick dick then?”, if she says “what?” just say “well clearly the way you are talking you must be packing a dick between those legs, I feel a lot of aggressiveness and testosterone from you”

  14. I hate the Wrist Grabber. They think you are not capable of making your own choices, they think that whatever guy you are talking to is going to harm you in some way and they think it’s their job to save you. That’s why it’s better for females to go clubbing alone.

    1. It goes to the maturity of the woman though. This didn’t happen often in my younger years, but when the wrist grabber would come through, the friend would stop them and be like I’m talking. I’ll get up with you in a minute.
      If a woman is interested she shouldn’t let her friends intervene. She can easily do the said method.

  15. Just dealt with this, last Friday. I guess there is no age limit on cock blockers because I’m way past the college age. I’m at a happy hour at the bar when three girls stroll up trying to get drinks. I find one I like and engage in conversation. Like I said it was three girls, but guess which one the The “Crab-in-the Bucket” friend interrupted to talk to? The girl looked confused. I said this is my cock blocking friend, that ignored your two other friends to interrupt us. She started bursting out laughing. My friend a dumb look on his face. Still got the number even with cock blocking interference.
    I knew the answer to resolving the situation, but this article confirms it. You definitely have to stop going out with that friend.

  16. Well I have been cock bllocked by my mates wife no less when she introduced me to her friends. A ugly mate of my very hot Persian target.i blame the wingman on this. And just last weekend the fat one cockbllocked me big time. Not only she did not let us get 2 mins to know each she even joined us on our “cigarette break”she fucking managed take her away abruptly saying they had to leave. I was needless to say a little angry but not suprised. I knew the way it goes when a group of hotties have a fat ugly friend.

  17. Just ran across this… when your target’s BFF is the KFC mascot with an attitude (which is typical for the fatties) you’re toast… cut the losses and move on. Though if they’re exceptionally obnoxious take the opportunity to given them a esteem smack upside the head (the fatties seem to suffer from high-self-esteem)… Just throw out “look I understand you need validation from your more healthy and attractive friends, but it’s not being a good friend to ensure you’re happiness and the expense of their’s”… that line (or a variation) has gotten the target back to me on several occasions… because the hot friend in many cases is sick of her fatso friend ruining her night.

  18. Perhaps another one: the unintentional CB – You. I was asked on a hike and only found out later she also invited a fat guy clearly out of his league. I think he came along after she said she was hiking that day and wanted to get rid of him but was too nice to say no. Whatever, I maximized my fitness to make him look the beta even more. Yeah, I was used initially but it turned out the victor getting the spoils later.

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