What Hitchhiking Taught Me About Picking Up Girls

Last year, I went on a hitchhiking trip across America that lasted six months and took me across sixteen states from New York to the West Coast. It was a wild, harrowing and disturbing trip, and while I wouldn’t recommend hitchhiking to everyone, it’s a great idea if you’re looking for adventure and excitement. In particular, hitchhiking has a disturbing number of parallels with game. Here’s just a few…

Saranac Lake, New York

1. Looks matter.

Most “career” hitchhikers are slobs: they don’t shower and dress in raggedy, filthy, torn clothing. This isn’t even getting into their love of piercings, dreadlocks and other ugly facial accouterments. Who the hell would let a guy who has flies buzzing around him to get high into their car? I had a much easier time than most hitchhiking because I looked like a normal, everyday guy: I showered every day, wore clean, fresh clothes and cut my hair once a week. I lost count of the number of people who told me something to the effect of, “You’re the first hitchhiker I’ve ever picked up, because you don’t look like a bum.” In fact, there was one incident in Minnesota where a dirty Deadhead had been trying to get a ride for two hours; hitching from the same spot, I got a ride in five minutes.

If you’re looking to get laid, you need to look good. You don’t need to be an Adonis, but you need to at least put some effort into your appearance. No woman will be attracted to an unkempt slob.


2. Location matters.

The ease of hitchhiking in the U.S. largely depends on where you are. Even if you follow all the rules I lay out in my recent book, The Hitchhiking Crash Course, in some places you’re just plain going to have a hard time getting a ride. In places like Central New York and eastern Washington state, the average driver would rather set himself on fire than give a ride to a stranger, no matter what he looks like. In contrast, in places like Iowa and Montana, people will offer to give you a lift even when you aren’t looking for one. Additionally, if you’re in a place known for life-threatening weather, such as North Dakota in December, motorists will offer to pick you up so you don’t “fucking freeze!”

Likewise, some cities and countries are so wretched—either because of fattitude, sausage fests and antisocial attitudes—that even if you’re a master at the game, you’re going to have a difficult time. You’re better off focusing on places where women are agreeable and attractive and the deck isn’t stacked against you.


3. It’s a numbers game…

Hitchhiking is best described as short bursts of action separated by long stretches of boredom. As a thumber, it’s your job to sift through the drivers who pass by you, signalling them all until one of them pulls over and tells you to hop in. The majority of motorists will never deign to pick you up no matter what, so it’s your obligation to keep trucking until you find the ones who will help you out.

The same goes with women. Unless you become famous, the majority of girls on Earth will never be interested in you, so you have no choice but to approach until you find the ones that do.


4. …that you will win so long as you persist.

There was more than one point during my trip where it felt like I would never get out of wherever I was. When you’re stuck for a whole weekend in a grimy coal-mining town in the middle of nowhere, you start to go a little crazy. But despite all the obstacles the world threw in my path, I persevered and made it all the way to Oregon. It took pulling some insane stunts at points, but I made it.

Again, the same goes with girls. Unless you are completely hopeless (and few men are), there is at least one woman out there who will have sex with you because of who you are right now. Don’t let the fact that you haven’t achieved your personal goals yet stop you from seeking her out.

Read More: One Man Has Found The Secret To Banging Argentine Girls

29 thoughts on “What Hitchhiking Taught Me About Picking Up Girls”

  1. I’d also add to number 3 that you probably didn’t take it personally that somebody didn’t pick you up. Most guys take rejection personally that it’ll either stop them in their tracks or if they get rejected with their first few approaches that they give up.

  2. OK, experiencing some cognitive dissonance here.
    “Likewise, some cities and countries are so wretched—either because of fattitude, sausage fests and antisocial attitudes—that even if you’re a master at the game, you’re going to have a difficult time.”
    Then he goes on to say that Central New York and eastern Washington state are hellholes, and places like Iowa, Montana, and North Dakota are good? Fattitude, sausage fests and antisocial attitudes pretty much define rural places. New York and eastern Washington are oases of civilization. Please do explain the discrepancy?

    1. New York and WA suck because there may be a lot of bangable girls, but they’re so inundated with feminist entitlement and flooded with chumps trying to get at them you barely have a chance unless you really stand out for some reason.
      The Midwest has lots of uneducated fat asses and hillbillies ready to back over you with their pick’em up truck, but when you do find a bangable girl, you’re already head and shoulders above the competition just by being a new face, and they’re probably not on the way to a slut-walk.
      …personal preference definitely plays a role though, I completely suck in the Midwest and South and kill in DC and NY. Try your luck, see what you can see!

    2. 1) You’re an idiot. Central New York and eastern Washington state are bad for hitchhiking. A place that is bad for hitchhiking != a place that is bad to pick up chicks. It’s called a metaphor, a way of illustrating a broader point: that location matters.
      2) You think CNY and eastern Washington are oases of civilization? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
      Maybe if your idea of civilization is getting your car jacked by thugs or being stomped to death by corrupt cops, those places might seem like paradise to you.

    3. Central New York State –not– central New York City, buddy.
      Central New York State = Oneida, Syrace, and Ithaca a/k/a semi-rural, testicle-freezing bumblefuck
      Central New York City = midtown Manhattan a/k/a $5 million penthouse co-ops and PR sluts in Laboutin red-bottom shoes

  3. OK, experiencing some cognitive dissonance here.
    “Likewise, some cities and countries are so wretched—either because of fattitude, sausage fests and antisocial attitudes—that even if you’re a master at the game, you’re going to have a difficult time.”
    Then he goes on to say that Central New York and eastern Washington state are hellholes, and places like Iowa, Montana, and North Dakota are good? Fattitude, sausage fests and antisocial attitudes pretty much define rural places. New York and eastern Washington are oases of civilization. Please do explain the discrepancy?

  4. I hitched lots back in the day. I used to hitch 200 miles between the same cities often. On a friday I could make the trip in 20 minutes longer than driving with my own car, I didn’t have. On sunday it could take all day and be rides as short as 5 miles Taking 5 or 6 rides to make it. Most other days were not as good as friday but nothing compared to the grandparents with the gkids in the back picking me up on Sunday and driving 10 minutes. God bless them though.
    Major interstate highways or the Trans Canada have people going long distances and the people get stranger. If someone stops you have to open the door, make eye contact and ask the driver how far they are going. This is for your own security. Getting dropped in the middle of nowhere isn’t good and getting stuck in a car with some predatory homo ain’t good either. Don’t be afraid to turn a ride down with someone who gives you bad vibes.
    Most people that pick you up will be single drivers and men. Women rarely pick you up and at least when they did they were very kind or on the hip side. Motorhomes and campers won’t pick you up. I don’t stick my arm out for them and it seems they ooze contempt for you more than other vehicles. Trucks rarely stop and need lots of room. If you are in a high speed location they won’t stop. As a rule avoid high speed locations. I like the last intersection going outbound with traffic lights. The driver waiting at the red will have more time to say you look okay. As matt said if there are other people at the same location they will be angry if you get a ride first. I always greet the other people but will separate myself from them. by as much distance possible while still giving the driver room to stop. Its the drivers decision who they give a ride and the other dudes will be pissed. It is competition at this point.
    Single women do not wait for rides. See white nights. If you travel with your girl you can get rides quicker and the nature of the drivers will change. You are alpha and take the front seat. She sits in the back. She never sits in the middle unless there is no other seat.
    Traveling with a buddy increases wait times. Its safer for you but not for the single driver. I travelled mostly alone.
    There is a greater chance of violence or wierd shit happening to you than to the driver. Its a myth that hitchhikers are dangerous. But this is where the disgusting nature of some of the people you see hitching comes in. They will likely be standing there for days and ride in the back of the pickup. Its more common to see bums hitching in the states than in canada. In Canada welfare agencies will buy you a bus ticket so the bums are on the greyhound.
    Locals aren’t going far and you are a stranger. The stranger you look the more you scare them.
    My style was jeans, lumberjack shirt and jacket and I mostly traveled with a work bag. I have had long hair but was never a complete freak. Often I was going to work and this people can relate too. I also adopted my own style of looking all drivers in the eyes with my arm angle straight out, not down at an angle. Be positive, confident.
    Another change I have seen is there are fewer hitchhikers on the road. In the day there weren’t many but they were common. I now give rides and somtimes when I need the company to keep from falling asleep thereis nobody to pick up. I think this is a result of the general greater prosperity of this age and and the entitlement mentality in general. Hitch hiking is an adventure and I met mostly really good people. Be one yourself.
    Make a sign especially in location where drivers are driving faster and have less chance to slow down and stop. The drivers reaction time to determine how safe or interesting you are, a place to stop with out causing an accident may be only seconds. I don’t recomend that you make a sign that says Seattle and use it in Newyork. This might work in a location where major arteries meet and where x-country drivers go from north to east. Keep the signage reasonable. Like the next city you will stop in and is reachable within the day. This allows for friendly farewells. Long distance drivers did not agree by letting you in their car to take you 3000 miles. There has to be an out for them.
    Traveling at night is different. Stay under the street light on the edge of town. Your chances of a ride are lower and at least you aren’t out in the black somewhere. Do not walk out of town. Its a waste of energy and the farther out you are the more suspicious. Don’t make it look like you were dumped. I will not pick up in the middle of nowhere at night, sorry. I have stood many a night on the edge of town. Rides do come but only accept them if they are getting you to a decent destination, otherwise kindly reject and say thanks. Usualy there is a gas station nearby and you can always get a coffee.
    Truck stops: This is where game works best maybe even though I never thought of it that way. You have the opportunity to open with the drivers. Some will be very cold and others haveing one excuse or the other. I have even had conversations while they filled even when it didn’t result in a ride. Truckers are hit or miss alot. King of the road but don’t want you in their truck. Lots claim their insurance won’t let them pick up hitch hiker because of the liability. Beta
    The last guy I gave a ride too I picked up in Winnipeg. and told him I was going to Kenora. He had an interesting life and was heading way east. I stayed overnight in Kenora and in the morning he was walking down the road to keep going. I picked him up again and drove him to T-bay and left him with a bit of food and 10 bucks. He was good company. When he got in my vehicle I didn’t know if I wanted the responsibility of taking him as far as I could and being responsible for his food and shelter.
    I have hitched fom alberta to california and back. To the yukon and back (you can wait for days in Ft Nelson BC, tourists and locals ), all over BC and Alberta, and all over europe one year. I figure the total miles to be around 100,000. I had many good conversations with people I never saw again. I had the opportunity to have some of the most sincere converstions with people who didn’t know me and could be as candid as they wanted. Sometimes I travelled with a 6-pak. Good times.

    1. Further to making eye contact and presenting a positive image. Surprizingly many drivers when they make eye contact will make a gesture with a small space between thumb and forefinger indicating they aren’t going far. Others with passengers will give the two hands palm up shrug, No Space. I always gestured a thanks anyway.

    2. Just out of curiosity, how many times were you stopped and searched by the police?

  5. Here’s a useful rule – provide a sign stating your destination.
    In hitch hiking, I used to commute every weekend while in college in Florida during the 70’s between Clearwater and Gainesville. I’d make a sign big enough to read from a slow moving car at an intersection. Both were safe destinations – one a beach town and the other a university town.
    That made it easier to trust me and suggested common destinations. Wearing the right clothes helped.
    With picking up girls, give them a sign too. By your dress, confidence, and vocabulary, let them know you’ve social standing to appeal to their hypergamy. “Give them the eye” so that they know you’re interested in interacting and meeting them.
    Either way, you’ll have some interesting experiences!

    1. It is probably good advice, to be a bit less direct about your desired “destination” with the ladies, though……. 🙂

    1. Hehehe, it’s the latest fashion trend amongst young women. Like the Skrillex. Check out Rihanna’s Diamonds music video. She’s rocking both!

  6. Hitching is awesome. I’ve been all over the UK and Ireland that way, and it’s a hell of a way to travel. I love it because so many people are too pussy to do it.

  7. Plug, plug, pluging your book (that no one wants to read) in a thinly veiled disguise of (crap) PUA advice. #Gay.

      1. Ooh, burnt me there! If I were to write an article, you’d probably find it at Chateau Heartiste, not here. This is where I go if I want to have a laugh (that is, laughing AT, not laughing WITH).

      2. I agree with marcel, try reading this guy’s other articles, it’s all crap! This one is crap, and they get alot worse. His view on women is horrendous and pig-like.

  8. I can’t find any game parallels for my experiences but this was a classic. It could be expanded on too. I used to stand about 50 yards down the freeway ramp ( when practical ) and got rides in rural Norcal with my squeaky clean looks. Rural folks seemed more giving in this respect. Nineteen out of twenty refused gas money or any compensation. Driver typically smoked me out.

  9. This is an excellent article. Great metaphor. I especially like that you mention winning due to persistence, which most people still just don’t seem to get. I hadn’t been made aware of your blog yet, but will definitely check it out now.

    1. Yes, I agree. I found the exact same parallels when I hitch-hiked.

  10. Who actually believes the author of this article gets laid at all, if ever? I mean if he does it has to be with some 40 lbs overweight behemoth.

    1. A baseless attack on the author for arbitrary reasons? Who actually believes “Bluish” gets laid, with an attitude like his?
      Calm your hormones, dude – shit’s so high school.

  11. People occasionally offer to give me a ide in Texas while on my morning walks even if I’m not even looking at them and going in an opposite direction. Small towns in Texas are just nice like that. :3

    1. I’ve had the same experience jogging in rural Illinois. One elderly driver had a hard time believing I’d be out unless my car was broken.

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