When I was young, my parents would reward me when I did well in school. I got good grades all throughout high school and college, but good grades was never my personal goal.
When I was in my early 20s, I went to work for a corporation. My bosses would reward me with praise and money when I worked hard in the laboratory, but working hard in that field was not something I really wanted.
Whenever I got a new bang, I told my friends and they congratulated me. This reward caused me to pursue bangs that I otherwise wouldn’t have. I was thrusting the girl not just for me, but for my friends.
Whenever I got a new flag, I published a story on my blog or in a book. My readers rewarded me with their praise, causing me to chase flags longer than I had originally planned.
Whenever I sell a new book, I’m rewarded with money, causing me to write more books.
Whenever a girl compliments me on my strength, I work out even harder in the gym.
Whenever a man compliments me on my outfit, I think of new ways to better my style.
Am I not a machine that just seeks validation in others, in both obvious and subtle forms?
How much of my desire truly comes from within, and how much is determined by reward or punishment? Why do I feel more reward from a bang than the average man? Why do I feel less reward from money? Haven’t the goals we have in life been shaped for years by influences outside of our immediate control? How much say do we really have in the goals we set for ourselves? If I was put on an island, alone, at a young age, wouldn’t my wants be quite different than they are now? How much different?
I’d like to believe that there is a strong genetic component to my being. I want to believe that my ancestors have determined my destiny, but it’s hard to come to that conclusion. I’m nothing more than a man of my times, shaped by a wave of civilization that determines the majority of my behavior and thinking. I think we are all men of our times, and had we been born in a different era, we wouldn’t even recognize ourselves in the mirror.
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Interesting insight. I would only say that resources and sex have been male survival “goals” for millennia and probably ARE genetically hard wired. The nature of material and sexual rewards change over time, and it’s true that a man’s environment is a large part of the reinforcement he receives and how he chooses to respond. But in a general sense your pursuits as a human male are universal.
Then again, I could be wrong.
PS – I bought “Day Bang” and loved it. Great job. I thought this would be a good moment to praise your work.
This reminds me of a Chesterton quote: “The Church always seems to be behind the times, when it is really beyond the times”. It seems both old-fashioned and stale, yet progressive. He also called “Tradition” “the democracy of the dead”.
If you are a man of the times, you have chosen long ago and maintain that choice to today to be that instead of looking above and beyond the surroundings to see other lands, some not far off in time or distance. At some point everyone finds some high ground and sees beyond their current assumptions and life and sees beyond at something higher that can be obtained, but at a cost.
In every age even with pagans there were those who looked beyond and saw the truth, and true goodness and beauty beyond. They were persecuted and executed like Socrates. There are those who go outside but the wrong way like Nietzsche, there are those who in a Christian culture will follow the rules instead of Christ (in his time they were the Pharisees).
Thomas More was not a man of his times, he was a Man for All Seasons.
Some see Alphas and become PUAs. (Purely Utilitarian Alphas?).
Some see beyond the times and find eternal life. This can be done at any age.
You can start ascending toward heaven – we are designed to float, but it means letting go of the world.
Nietzsche was right about everything he said. Reading “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” is like banging your first chick, losing your first street fight, getting high on your first dr*g and defying authority for the first time. All of these things happening at the same time.
Your re-interpretation of the acronym PUA was cool. I also think it is suitable.
Chesterton also had said that: “The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected. Even when the revolutionist might himself repent of his
revolution, the traditionalist is already defending it as part of his
tradition. Thus we have two great types — the advanced person who rushes
us into ruin, and the retrospective person who admires the ruins. He
admires them especially by moonlight, not to say moonshine. Each new
blunder of the progressive or prig becomes instantly a legend of immemorial antiquity for the snob. This is called the balance, or mutual check, in our Constitution.”
It is sad, but very true. Ultimately, a man who, like a Grizzly Adams in fiction, or Dan Proenecke in reality, may find solace within himself. For to be around others is often to want to be the receiver of their affections. Yet how many could actually live decades in such harsh, and remote isolation?
The trick is finding people, if any, that are actually worth the hard work their good graces demand. Most people are not worth it, and would not know it if their life depended on it.
Also, in other news, sociopaths are considered social outcasts, until they lead big business; or a new fad. Trends set the rules, but character is timeless. Rarely are they ever in agreement.
Changing your desires based on how society reacts to your actions is just another hardwired thing. We evolved with the desire to survive and to have sex, yes, but also to work in a group. It’s only natural then that we’ll have evolved to react and adapt to the expectations and desires of others.
And when someone insults you you delete or edit their posts and shrivel in a ball crying.
Whereas I, on the other hand, take zero joy and feel zero grief from the reactions of my peers. Maybe aspergers (however you spell it), or autism’s to blame. Or maybe I just don’t give a fuck. Either way, it’s a hell of a lot easier being me than being you, Roosh. At least I don’t have to create this alter ego.
Butthurt much?
This ought to piss off the HBD crowd.
Flame war incoming 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…
I can’t imagine anyone disagreeing with well-validated S-R behaviour, especially as its ramifications are a cornerstone of NLP and consequently Game. In a non-natural, civilised society, most of your responses are going to conform to stimuli created by others to elicit precisely those.
Your ancestors may not determine your *exact* destiny, but they have certainly limited your likely outcomes, through genetic, ethnic and economic choices made before you could add your own unique snowflakiness into the mix. Lets not also forget that the hormonal changes we are subjected to, while less all-consuming than those of the distaff side, are still a massive component to what we percieve as ‘maturing’ and changing tastes.
Every tribe in the world has sports and training for it, from Inuits in Canada(inuit games), the Xingus in brasil (wrestling), to the tribes of Africa.
Moving your body feels good. innate. Being strong, feeling strong. Innate.
Since the Muhammad’s times, when Muslims get to heaven, they get 72 virgins… it’s not something of the times. Innate.
Survival -> Procreation
The rest is all details.
And your OWN body rewards you for a lot of stuff. You get Flooded with Endorphin. for most stuff dealing with Survival/ Procreation. Feeling Strong, Fucking a Girl
Yes, I often wonder how any of the long line of peasants I descended from would react to the strange situations I find myself in around the world.
great post, this dude should go mainstream
Roosh, it’s like you read my mind sometimes. I actually came to the same conclusion recently. Have I just been conditioned to seek reward and avoid punishment? It’s all part of a major existential crisis I’ve found myself in recently.
I had a similar story to yours. And I recently asked myself…why am I behaving this way? Is it because I’m merely approval-seeking from my peers?
One question leads to another and I find that I crave some time away from it all to “find myself.”
I’m glad to have this and other manosphere sites because the other corporate drones don’t understand creative, original people like us. They merely want to persecute you.
These are deep waters. Roosh might enjoy Ibn Tufail’s short philosophical novel called “Hayy Ibn Yaqthan” (Alive, Son of Awake). (The title makes more sense in Arabic). It was written in the late middle ages, but was translated in the 1600’s and was the inspiration behind Daniel Defoe’s book Robinson Crusoe. Had a lot of influence in Europe and the Near East. It’s a philosophic thought experiment that describes the life of a man who was born and raised in isolation on an island. Timeless questions about environment, soul, nature, and man.
Deep stuff here at ROK….we are the light.
http://www.amazon.com/Ibn-Tufayls-Hayy-Yaqzan-Philosophical/dp/0226303101
Your figure,Roosh every day is improving,and a lot of people have become a better versión of themselves thanks to your posts.
you are subject to your frailties and appetites, as are we all
and as our ancestors were as well.
Sort of related to this, I’ve wondered to what extent our ideas of beauty have been shaped by the culture we grew up with. From reading you over the past couple years, I’ve realized you’re ideal picture of femininity often aligns with images in the popular culture. And I certainly find attractive those women you find attractive.
Do “attractive females” in pop culture reflect some universal femininity? Or are our concepts of femininity shaped by pop culture?
This is dangerously close to feminist media critique, so I apologize for that, but it’s food for thought.
And to what extent does capitalism create these force vectors that lead to you and me liking what we do?
Companies want to sell “x” (perhaps beauty products). Companies then create demand for products through advertising. Advertising constructs images of “how women should look”. Men come to desire that women look “that” way. Women want to attract men so women buy beauty products.
Annnnd now we’ve reached the nexus of marxism AND feminisism. Yay!
===============
On another note, you are also consistently rewarded for you views of women. There are legions of men, and some girls, in the manosphere who agree with your views on women and will happily give you positive reinforcement every time you express them.
I’m sure you still get rejected by a lot of women–such is game. But overall, you are getting tremendous positive reinforcement of your behavior and views of the world.
Not sure how the negative reception you get from feminists works in to this, but it seems to act as another form of positive reinforcement for you.
I’m going to paraphrase an old holocaust survivor I had the fortune of seeing:
“What makes a good man? One who is trying to be a better man.”
In order to survive a man is contingent on the reward system in the Human tribe. Imagine you had no positive enforcement in the form of money – you would starve. But you unfortunately need a certain amount of approval, because approval = revenue. Without it, you’re on the street.
And the street leads you to a weed plantation or an MMA club or even perhaps freedom.
Roosh, I’ve wondered about you on many of the things you posted above. You’re obtaining more depth, especially compared to your earlier writings. Few reflect on themselves in this way. I still don’t like you, but I’ve gained more respect for you.
I agree. Roosh’s early stuff was pretty shallow, if entertaining, as if more seeking our approval and hence to raise his status.
I’ve noticed that immigrants (and their second generation) to America seem very interested in acquiring status symbols, like designer labels for their clothes and Mercedes cars, more so than the native born.
It takes years to understand that having the character that Americans respect is the true way to high status in this country.
As far as the immigrants go, they’re interested in acquiring these status symbols (and the income to support them) because there is so much opportunity in the United States, and they come from an area that was repressed economically and in terms of their opportunities.
I’ve noticed that many Americans are very lazy, and would rather entertain themselves than educate themselves in any way.
Immigrants are amazed at the opportunities available to them, and reach out. Imagine getting out of high school and encountering the freedom and opportunities that the real world offers. Americans have been born into it, so they don’t see the opportunity, because they don’t have anything to contrast against it.
But I have seen plenty of immigrants from my country focus on getting the material wealth before they get the actual wealth. They’re putting the cart before the horse. I get plenty of flak for not being as dressy as they are and driving a nice car, but I can guarantee you that in less than two years I can catch up materially, and be able to sustain it.
Ambition is a good thing, and something we Americans appreciate in immigrants, at least most of us.
Strutting around in designer clothes and driving flashy cars beyond one’s means while “putting on airs” is something most Americans find laughable in anyone of any origin. It reeks of insecurity and of being cut off from one’s society.
Humility and egalitarianism are respected in America – just read Tocqueville.
It’s imperative while you improve yourself to let others sculpt you, to be both sculpting agent and sculpted object. Without solidarity your effort would remain a simple “ athletic performance”, an ego inflation.
“I want to believe that my ancestors have determined my destiny, but it’s hard to come to that conclusion.”
Why though? Why do you want to believe this?
I’ll be the first to admit I’m a man of my times – shaped by the different peer groups I’ve held and been a part of throughout my life. It seems rather obvious if you ask me.
Other people (commonly the people around us or closer to us) are the biggest influences on our lives. Nothing else even comes close.
This is why you should simply follow your dick instead of listening to other people, Roosh. Whenever you get a bang, the satisfaction of your dick should be the only thing that matters, not what others think of you getting said bang.
Roosh,
I live for my own personal dreams and goals and not to have others validation. Probably because I march to the beat of my own drummer, I am happier than many people. Pussy is nice but not happiness in itself. Once men realize this simple fact, it frees a man to grow stronger. I don’t chase after women either and do better now than when I did years ago.