If we stop and observe those around us, we can see many unhappy people as we go through our daily lives. They fill a variety of archetypes, but a common thread is that their despair often derives from the broken assumption that things in our world can achieve permanence. This is true for both positive and negative beliefs — the fat computer geek is unhappy because he believes his life can never be any better. Conversely, the rich executive struggles for contentment once he has reached a certain level of status, but after making his first million finds that the fulfillment only stays for a short time.
Our lives are in a perpetual state of change. Feelings, priorities, relationships — all are impermanent. Roosh has written about this, the idea that we are chasing happiness but the very idea of change (and its pursuit) is what makes us happy. When you find something that grips you in the moment, part of the battle is dispelling the creeping feelings of self-sabotage that tell you it will remain so forever. We must divide our effort between prolonging the experience as much as possible, and attempting to appreciate it as it washes over us.
The worst moments of my life occurred when I built something up as a permanent pillar of my world view. When my girlfriend of several years dumped me, I was crushed because I assumed that we would be together forever and she would continue to love me unconditionally. I lost touch with old friends I thought would be lifelong comrades, due to eroding communication and lack of continued shared circumstances. People who once seemed so important in my life disappeared after I moved only a few states away. Nearly every difficult transition in our lives occurs when we take for granted that things will stay the way they are.
Ever wonder why some of the most rich and successful people wreck their minds and bodies on drugs and alcohol? Even the most intense high of performing in front of thousands of people gets old. We all acclimate to our surroundings. These people chase a high so potent that only chemicals can provide it. They wrongly assumed they would always derive the same exhilaration out of doing what they love. Surely, they could count upon the permanence of their one calling, but almost without exception they were wrong. Nothing makes us happy forever.
The best memories in my life are from situations I knew would come to an end quickly, but I pushed myself to get the most out of them regardless. The night I spent under thousands of stars deep in our western wilderness. The new year’s eve party in Eastern Europe with a girl that I had fallen in love with, but knew I would likely never see again. The months in isolation working toward a dream that, once achieved, brought joy but not ultimate fulfillment.
Whether you’re on a weekend getaway with a girl who makes you recall life before “Red Pill” knowledge hardened you to the truths of our reality, taking an amazing vacation that changes your view of the world, planning a reunion with friends from long ago, or starting a new dream job, the only thing that’s true about your feelings and fulfillment is that they are not going to last. The sooner you accept this is the sooner that you can appreciate the fleeting and exquisite nature of human experience. You owe it to yourself to realize that nothing is permanent.
Read More: How I Found Freedom In An Unfree World
This is true. And people should live their lives accordingly.
Still, I wonder how things were different 200 years ago. Growing up and living in the same town, living with the same people, marrying young and staying with one woman. Going to church every Sunday to be comforted in knowing what you were doing was the right thing.
Sure these people had a shit-load of problems. Diseases with no known cures, back-breaking labor, and a lack of personal choice. But maybe they were spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically healthier.
Or maybe I’m just romanticizing what I can’t have and know nothing about.
I think you may actually be right. Seeing the rise in rates of of psychological and emotional issues and diseases in society probably indicates that this is so.
I am reminded of Einstein’s quote: “It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.”
“I wonder how things were different 200 years ago.”
Your children would head west and you would likely never hear from them again. MGTOW’s took up whaling or fur trapping. They were probably deists.
“Diseases with no known cures, back-breaking labor”
Cancer, AIDS, road paving, oil drilling, military service.
Otherwise known as the zombie apocalypse. I think those kinds of stories appeal to people who feel they would have better lives if they had to focus on tangible survival problems requiring their hands and their wits, instead of worrying about modern nonsense like, say, waiting in line to buy the newest iPhone.
yes, we are hard wired to fight and survive… not queue for iphones and seek logo’d T-shirts…. so of course some people press the escape button and hope for some apocalypse… the end of the world is as old as humanity itself….. it’s people that are having a miserable time… simply living in dreamland…..
You know nothing about it
you are right to some degree…..
true happiness lies within…. the problem is maintaining that inner frame, in a busy, hectic and demanding world.
things moved slower years ago, so people had more time to reflect and had to learn to control their inner urges more…. without TV you had to watch the stars and the sunset…. without quick divorces you had to put up with your partner….
today it’s all me, me, me, now, now, now…. most adults are like spoiled children were 100 years ago….
even from 20-30 years ago, when I was growing up, the world has lost it’s soul to some extent…gobbled up in the mad rush for more and more…… it didn’t used to be so important what car you drove and what label you had on your shirt or sunglasses….
and no one knows how to sit still anymore… unless you can sit still and be at peace with yourself, no matter the circumstances ….. you can never be happy…. even with all the success in the world…
how is putting yourself into motion with endless distractions, pressure and responsibility going to make you happy if you have no inner peace in the first place….
not only will you simply create stress, you will make some poor decisions that bring you more stress ….
they talk about worshiping the anti-christ… really all that amounts to is materialism and lack of connection to the universe…. when accolades and badges are more important than simply understanding life and reality…
Ecclesiastes, 1:4-11:
A generation goes, and a generation comes,
but the earth remains forever.
The sun rises, and the sun goes down,
and hastens to the place where it rises.
The wind blows to the south
and goes around to the north;
around and around goes the wind,
and on its circuits the wind returns.
All streams run to the sea,
but the sea is not full;
to the place where the streams flow,
there they flow again.
All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there a thing of which it is said,
“See, this is new”?
It has been already
in the ages before us.
There is no remembrance of former things,
nor will there be any remembrance
of later things yet to be among those who come after.
One must remain content, and enjoy life as it passes, for our time is short……what makes us so passionate and unique, is the very Thing that will ultimately kill us.
I advice all MGTOW/MRA brothers to read up and study buddhism. It provides great insight on non-attachment.
“craving leads to suffering” Gautama Buddha
Never hold unto things that are constantly changing
Good essay. It also feels like a stepping stone to further inquiry, not a final conclusion.
There is a dimension (for lack of better word) beyond the material/observable world that contains our human experience – that IS permanent, unchanging and time-less. Outside of having, losing, wanting, needing. I don’t mean to sound unnecessarily mystical but this is very subtle, yet also very apparent with some degree of investigation. The result of continually taking red-pill of all manners was to realize I am the “nothing” at the center of the universe, and also a something (this human form with desires, aversions, etc.). When I over-identify with being human at the expense of the eternal nature, suffering immediately follows.
In some perversely beautiful way, I can actually thank all the ways the modern world is ‘fucked up’ because it became essential to see what’s really going on. There’s no escaping the need to wake up to our essential and full nature. How it expresses for each of us is totally unique. We can only see for ourselves the impermanence of all forms and how the unchanging aspect dances with it.
”outside of wanting, having, needing*
yeah you can definitely dream this up when sitting behind the computer in your heated house. I certainly used to. Go join the homeless people outside for a few days and feel the cold gradually restrict your sleep and personal control over life and then talk about need and want.
True happiness and fulfillment is not something you get or loss, It is a by-product of doing what you love and what gives you meaning. You cannot find happiness by making it your goal. Happiness is the unintended benefit of pursuing personal dreams and living true to your self. A deep sense of fulfillment will emerge when you proactively connect the person you are with the things that you choose to do. If there is one simple thing you can do right now which will put you in the right path in life is living according to the nature.
Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.
bullshit…. that’s a high school fallacy… even the most exciting pursuit, and incredible success will become tedious or eventually lead to failure…..
people who are successful know this….. they know their success is not ‘them’ but them being free from attachments to themselves.
there is a reason why sucessful people are often called ‘cool’ … it’s because they have detached from the rush of it all…..
the ones that lack success are often trying too hard….
“even the most exciting pursuit, and incredible success will become tedious or eventually lead to failure”
You need to reread my comment, i didn’t say you get it by doing one thing which excites you.
” Their success is not ‘them’ but them being free from attachments to themselves”
You sound like a Buddhist, sorry to tell you it is a BS philosophy. You can’t detached yourself from realty or yourself.
” there is a reason why sucessful people are often called ‘cool’ … it’s because they have detached from the rush of it all ”
This is news, when did successful people become ‘cool’ ? lol…..and, Last i checked most successful people work like crazy.
“the ones that lack success are often trying too hard….”
Not according to people on welfare !
Whenever people say anything about “money” and if I only had a $XM …. reminds me of the movie “Office Space” when Lawrence says…”Well you don’t need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he’s broke, don’t do shit.”
This ^^^
There is no permanence because our sense of happiness, like so many of our senses, is only sensitive to change. In mathematical terms, it’s a derivative sense.
That’s why so many people apply a sinusoidal function to their happiness gathering, the sinusoid is the only function which is a derivative of itself. That is why so many people have the “Emotional Roller Coaster” in their lives. Sine waves.
Beautiful analogy! The only solution to this paradox is discovering ’causeless happiness,’ independent of the senses or events. However, this tends to be uninteresting to most people.
Why? Simply because it isn’t changing so why in the world would you want it? Yet it’s the root of freedom.
independent of the senses or events?
That would be impossible. It is the senses that send messages to the brain to activate certain neurotransmitters that give the feeling of pleasure(or at least eliminate discomfort) Whether it is external (like you just made a billion in the stock market) or internal, like taking some heroin, it is stimulating neurons that release a feel good chemical. The problem is that the neurons become sensitised to the stimulation and the effect decreases over time. This happens naturally anyway as you age which is why it was older people historically who took most of the drugs mostly to relieve discomfort It’s the relief of pain or discomfort that causes the good feeling.
And btw, studies have been done many years ago on whether money makes you happy, or at least happier than people without it , and wealthier people are generally happier than people below them. So that “money can’t buy happiness” nonsense is bullshit (probably made up by some pauper lol)
It’s easy to see why wealth would make you at least relatively happier than being poorer because you’re able to eliminate a lot of the discomforts and annoyances that make other people miserable.
pleasure is not happiness… there is a huge difference…. inner happiness requires a depth of character and a presence of mind, that is almost lost in most humans
happiness requires a consciousness and a soul…
most people have sold theirs for a shiney car or some distracting gadget…
while we are more advanced with our technology, we are in fact closer to animals, driven by fear, sex, herd mentality, leader of the pack symbolism and so forth, not much better than savages…. and not far from buffalo or a flock of birds….
who has the brightest feathers and can puff their chest the biggest ?
the females flock to him and the males try to take him out…..
the winner has all manner of pleasures for a short time, but lives in constant fear….
eat or be eaten… this is humanity…. the rise of game, is a symptom of this animal nature… not an improvement….
humans live…. animals play games….
I understand your perspective and appreciate it at one level. I also quietly ask if can you consider the possibility that what I’ve said may be true in some way? Good science (exploration into nature, including ourselves) comes from curiosity plus a degree of healthy skepticism but not blanket denialism. Many sacred tenets of science have been overturned in the past century (or even past few decades). There is ample evidence of mind or intention influencing experiments in ways materialistic neuroscience cannot explain. I refer you to the work of Dr. William Tiller and his ‘Conscious Acts of Creation’ video available on Google (last I checked).
You could – as an open inquiry – ask yourself ‘is there a part of my experience in this moment that is independent of what’s experienced? independent of my senses, internal or external events?’ Pursuing these paths is what philosophers or sages of old did (and sometimes were ostracized for). It’s still available to us today.
I’ve trained in science and instead of directing to impossibility, I ask ‘can this be possible?’ It does require some suspension of disbelief and a willingness to challenge established thought or even that which seems obvious.
The inquiries one makes in dimensions of existence, asking questions of ‘who am I, really?’ or better ‘WHAT am I?’, are the most dangerous to self-concept and most likely to throw one out of dinner parties. I’m not a fan of being deliberately obtuse as I find posturing annoying. There is a very interesting discussion by Peter Brown on the topic of ‘reincarnation’ where he explores what does it mean to be ‘incarnate’. I’d be interested in your thoughts on that discussion.
Death is permanent.
Incorrect. Your last death was interrupted by this human life on Earth.
What a rude awakening.
Tell me about it. I used to be a supernova lighting up the galaxy.
I would imagine human life would be kind of a letdown after a bang like that.
After watching and researching alot of paranormal phenomena, i can say that there is an afterlife of some sorts. intelligent EVP (electronic voice phenomena) can provide evidence to this, as well as visual evidence (photos, apparitions) most evidence in paranormal investigations and what people mostly experience is residual noises and apparitions, as if the location of the paranormal events recorded the actions and sounds at the time and randomly replays them from time to time. however, you can get the responsive intelligent paranormal events, as responses to living people asking questions and visiting haunted locations.
So basically what they see or experience are natural phenomenon that they don’t understand and attribute to some supernatural source. Like people seeing swamp gas and thinking it’s a UFO.A belief in a god is just a delusion. The cause is natural, it’s your own alter ego which is there as a survival mechanism in all humans (I don’t feel like explaining it here) and you may interpret this as a being outside of yourself eg. a god
What is curious is the asking of “yes” or “no” questions using theEMF indicators.
Good reminder to all of us. Indeed nothing is permanent. In fact what all of our lives boil down to are memories, nothing more. That pretty, feminine sweetie you just fucked… as you see her hair glows from the setting sun the moment just after you banged her, then the moment is gone. Take some photos of her to keep with you during the rest of your journey through your life, because that is all it is. Marrying the sweetie will not keep the moment. She will get old fat, and possibly nagging and you will wake up wondering what the fuck happened, it is because you did not realize the “nothing is permanent” rule. And earning money is a means of freedom, not a dick measuring contest, because if the assertion that “You can’t take it with you when you die” is true, then, in the final analysis every man has the same net worth once he passes. The only thing that does not change is the fact that things are always changing. At the risk of sounding schmaltzy, life is a journey to enjoy, so make it a good one.
this guy says it great….. i think i might have pinched it from a previous ROK
http://teamcoco.com/video/louis-ck-springsteen-cell-phone
This is the essence of meditation. To not hold onto the past and not look towards the future for happiness and fulfillent, But to instead live in the timeless now of the present moment.
All is Vanity
You will see wherever you look only vanity on this earth.
What one man builds today, another tears down tomorrow;
Where now cities stand, a meadow will be,
Upon which a shepherd’s child will play with the herds.
What now blooms in magnificence, will soon be tread asunder;
What today pounds with defiance, tomorrow is ash and bone;
There is nothing which is eternal, neither ore nor marble.
Now fortune smiles upon us, but soon troubles will thunder.
The fame of great deeds must pass like a dream.
Why should the game of time, the simple human, persist?
Oh, what is all of this that we hold to be exquisite,
But wicked vanities, as shadow, dust and wind
But a meadow flower which one can find no more!
Yet not a single man wants to contemplate what is eternal.
–Andreas Gryphius, Menschliches Elend and Es ist alles eitel (ca. 1630) in: Deutsche Dichtung des Barock pp. 94-95 (E. Hederer ed. 1967) (S.H. transl.)
Thanks for that, we need to be reminded that our journey is the only real thing we can expect – because the rewards we dream of, and sometimes receive never hit the mark. It’s been said my many people in many ways, “enjoy the ride” and enjoy all the attendant things that come with it.
Ernest Becker
Buddhism
The Stoics ( aka Western Buddhists)
Nietsche
I’ve been studying these guys to try and get my mind around aging and impending death….
:'( going to cry