We have written here before about the mental benefits of going off the grid and unplugging for a while. What we haven’t mentioned is that this technique can also be a boon to your game.
The move itself is very simple: take a set time off from all communication with existing girls. Don’t schedule any dates, and cancel any that you have. Don’t reply to any texts from girls, and don’t initiate texts or calls. Approaching new prospects is acceptable, but do not call them during the window you have committed to. I find that 3-4 days works best, since it is long enough to be a conspicuous absence but not long enough for girls to forget about you. Here are three benefits from dropping this move into your repertoire:
1. Recharge Your Energy
Talking to multiple girls is time-consuming. Even if you’re a master of laconic text game, you’re devoting some brainpower to spacing them out, keeping leads warm, and showing up to dates/hangouts. Putting it all aside for a period of time helps you refocus mentally and reflect on what you want to do to improve. When you start spending too much time managing prospects, consider taking a break.
2. You Appear Scarce
This is the biggest game benefit of this tactic. Ignoring an attractive girl gives you the upper hand in the interaction and amplifies existing attraction (though it is important to note that it doesn’t create it from scratch). This works best for westernized girls who will skewer you for appearing too needy, and ensures that you’re erring on the side of being too aloof. This works if you have multiple girls, or if you have one girl you’ve been focusing on with regular communication.
3. Improves Focus On Your Other Projects
Gaming girls is fun. At the end of the day, though, it’s the investments you make into yourself in other areas that create a lifestyle that helps you succeed with women, and fulfills you when your game goes through inevitable dry spells. During periods of going dark I am more productive at work, concentrate better on my hobbies, and focus more on on my meaningful friendships.
This is a move I like to use about once a month. Ideally, you’re spinning 3-4 plates with sufficient but varying levels of interest. A girl may actually ask why you’re ignoring her — if she does, congratulations. You’ve made yourself unavailable and increased her attraction for you. Though a newbie might find it painful to ignore a text or two, taking a few days off from the game is not going to ruin prospects that were otherwise invested in the interaction. When you return to the trenches, make no explanation of your absence, or at most a passing “I’ve been busy.” Though they protest outwardly, your girls’ lizard brains will respect you more for showing that they’re not as big a part of your life as they assumed.
Don’t Miss: Sales vs. Game
Going dark is especially important for introverts like me in an extroverted world. My job really drains me since I have to be “on” and be fake with so many people. That’s hard as hell to do on a daily basis for a cynical realist.
Game takes its toll, too, and even though chasing girls can be fun, there’s often quite a bit of work involved. This is especially true for Game in America.
After beginning my “Savage Pilgramages” (as D.H. Lawrence called them) out of the Puritan, sexually repressed world of Anglo America, I find that I’m just lazier when it comes to chasing women. I’m also pickier. When you’ve had hot, affectionate, feminine, age 20-25 nubile pussy just raining on you, and women competing over you in other countries, it’s hard to come back and work your ass off for an average piece of boring, obtuse, narcissistic white bread in America.
So, my batteries don’t hold as much of a charge as they used to and I “go dark” more often in America. Since I can have practically any girl I want that will treat me better when I’m traveling abroad, I’ve just decided that during my time in America I’ll mostly focus on making investments in myself. (While still knocking out the occasional piece of ass, just to keep my skills sharp.)
I go dark by default (no pun intended). I don’t live in a “target rich environment”, so I go months just trying to build resources in order to escape. Thing is, there really isn’t anywhere that I can realistically escape to.
At least I can say that I visited Japan back int he day when Black men were sorta popular there, so I won’t be dying a virign.
Why not just travel to other areas with better women (Eastern Europe, Asia, Latin America)?
Roosh and the the people on the forum are always talking about cheap airline tickets, and how to reduce expenses. Could you take a 2 week vacation and try it out?
Could you do your work from there? Or ask your company for a transfer (maybe even within the US to a better city?)?
I’d prefer to be in Japan, Taiwan, or China. I’m a Black man though, so those ladies aren’t too fond of me or my kind. I was in Japan a few years ago back when brothas used to be somewhat popular, but those days are gone.
As far as other types of women and places, I’m just not interested. I’d rather stay here where I’m uninterested than spend money to go somewhere I’m not interested in.
Thanks for the advice though.
Brazil, man. Just sayin’…
Not interested in Brazil. If it ain’t China, Japan, or Taiwan, I ain’t goin’.
You kidding? Black, white, or whatever; western guys have a huge advantage by default in Japan. C’mon man, sounds like you’re giving up. I’ve lived in Japan for a long time, and black guys get a lot, believe me. Just dress well and live in a more open place (Osaka for example, not a small city)
Osaka was where I was back in the “golden days” of 2006-2007. I might have to give it another shot. I have more experience on the ground in Japan and a bit of the language down, but I have more contacts (that can help with room, board, and even work) in China and Taiwan nowadays.
@gainz. I can confirm first hand that the popularity you mentioned that used to exist in Japan is still more than alive and kicking in Taiwan. It is easy pickings and comes at little to no effort.
I’m talking about Black guys though. I don’t think that Black men do well in Taiwan.
4. Reflection
Going dark also gives you time to do some critical inner work e.g. meditation, analyze and evaluate your goals/achievements/failures, not only with women but with all aspects of your MGTOW lifestyle. This will help you to maintain your red pill mind frame and deflect former blue pill thinking e.g becoming a beta/mangina/white knight again.
Be careful about going dark a full 3 days if you haven’t had sex with the girl at least 3+ times.
If a girl is already deeply attracted to you, she’ll likely wait out the 3 days with concern and actually grow more attracted.
But if you have girls that you’ve only hooked up with 1x or 2x, cutting off communication for a few days will lead her to change her focus back to other guys who are texting her.
She might also think you’re not interested in her, and the cognitive dissonance will force her to pretend like she was never really attracted to you all that much.
One of the 48 rules I believe. Essential for maintaining inward focus and self-discipline I find. Detachment is its own nirvana sometimes.
48 Laws of Power
Law 16: Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Thanks for pointing this out. Coincidentally, I just started reading this book.
Just get rid of your cellphone and go dark all the time. It drives them wild. Texting has made it painless for guys who are merely by products of a cultural machine to get laid.
In times past these men would not have stood a chance in a cedar forest with the women they are getting with. You can literally not leave the couch now while playing video games, and still get laid. Its pathetic. Give me the sweet taste of face to face failure rather than the silence of text that receives no reply.
Cellphone connectedness is a problem. Solitude is the true state of a man and its priceless. Cellphones are merely tools of the feminists to put collars on men so we can all be tracked and kept in line. The tracking is no longer a conspiracy theory after the revelations Edward Snowden brought it into the spotlight. Its a shame men choose to defer to women on this matter and get one anyway. So much for leadership :-).
“When you return to the trenches, make no explanation of your absence, or at most a passing “I’ve been busy.” Though they protest outwardly, your girls’ lizard brains will respect you more for showing that they’re not as big a part of your life as they assumed.” – So true. So perverse. So female. Awesome article.
Field tested, field approved.
Happened last year: I was seeing a solid 8 for a couple weeks and over some playful texting banter I told her that we should hang out. I got no response. Natural reaction was a bit of irritation and a creeping beta-mentality to follow up with my statement.
I hung in strong and didn’t initiated any contact. She responded a few days later, apologized for not replying, offered suggestions on our next plans. Slow played the response, acted like I didn’t even notice that she didn’t text back, and things were golden.