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You’ll Never Find A “Good” Corporate Job Like Your Parents Did

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I faced a problem.

I was receiving more e-mails requesting my advice or thoughts on various issues than I had time to answer. Some of them were actually quite presumptuous, because in order to thoroughly answer them it would take at least two hours of my finite life (my favorite being “how should I plan for retirement”).

But instead of becoming frustrated or angry, I got smart. I started “Asshole Consulting.” I would politely tell people that I would like to answer their questions, but I didn’t have the time unless I was paid to do so. I thought it would go nowhere, but because of the generally brief and simple nature of most people’s questions, they were easily answered in a 10-20 minute e-mail, which I would only charge $15-$25, respectively. Soon, a market was made and I’m at least making beer money by helping out the occasional lost soul.

But something interesting happened. While for the most part people’s questions were specific to them, I started noticing “general themes” or “common questions” that were not specific to any one individual. They were questions most people had and I figured rather than regurgitating the exact same advice I would write a post about it saving me time and them money.  And hands down the most common of these common questions is:

“I hate my job.  I just can’t tolerate it anymore.  I’m thinking of a career change or at least finding a new job.  What do you recommend?”

And I intend on answering it now as it is one of the most important lessons for all men to learn, and the earlier the better.

First understand you’ve been over-trained. Both in terms of abilities and expectations. You go to school for 13 years in the public school-prison system where they tell you you are going to do great things. Naive 20-something, math-impaired women euphemistically posing as teachers tell you the prettiest of lies about your “wonderful and glorious” future. You then go onto college where you get at minimum a bachelors, but probably a Masters as “that will give you an edge in the labor market.” But what you don’t understand is that pretty much everybody has been doing the same and so the market is flooded with college-educated individuals. And no matter how high your GPA and how many advanced credentials you have, there are not enough jobs to sop up all the excess college graduates. This not only means HR and employers can be astronomically arrogant and picky, but that what jobs you do land are 100% guaranteed to be WAY beneath your capacities, abilities, and desires.

Second, understand that economic growth is slowing. We are only growing at about 60% of the rate of the 1940’s and 1950’s.  Without that extra economic growth there are mathematically fewer employment opportunities and certainly less challenging ones. So whereas if you were a GI coming back from WWII Boeing would likely hire you as an aerospace engineer, today Boeing would maybe hire you as dataentrysman. If you’re lucky.

Finally, the Baby Boomer generation was absolutely HORRIBLE in terms of financial planning. Most squandered their inheritance from the WWII generation, blew what money they made on divorce lawyers, and are now the most participatory group in “reverse mortgages.” They did not save anywhere near the amount they needed for retirement which means…

Most of them have to work past retirement.

This means there is a log-jam at the top of most companies. And without executives retiring, nobody else can be promoted up the corporate ladder. Until the Boomers retire (or die) you can expect a long wait time before finding a job that challenges you.

Now there are other reasons, but because of the aforementioned three nearly 100% of all US jobs suck. They just plain suck.

They’re not challenging, they’re not interesting, they’re nowhere near what you’re capable of, and they’re not improving as the economy continues to stagnate. Worse, the people of the country themselves are decaying, which not only means that your co-workers and bosses are going to be less professional (and most likely intolerable), but dishonest, deceitful and manipulative (misleading job descriptions or Adria Richards, anyone?). What this means for you, and this is one of the important lessons to pull from this post, is that you are not “unlucky” or just having “bad luck” finding a “decent job.” ALL JOBS SUCK. ALL JOBS ARE LIKE THIS. There is no “good job with a sane employer around the corner, you just need to apply one more time.” There is no “grass is greener on the other side.” All jobs in the current day economy are like this.

So the question then is, “What?  Am I just screwed?  Am I condemned to sucky jobs for the rest of my life or vainly job-hopping in order to find ‘the one’ job that doesn’t suck?”

And the answer is a “yes, but” and the “but” is the key epiphany you need to enjoy life as much as you can.

Realize that you cannot change the general decay and suckiness of the job market. Ergo, if you cannot change it, the only thing you can change is you. Specifically, how you react to it. It is here you need to attain a certain amount of “Zen” with your workplace surroundings, specifically “letting things go” that you don’t control.

First, give up any dreams you had of “making it big as a corporate man.” True riches and success do not come from working hard and loyally for an employer. It is MUCH easier today to make it on your own as an entrepreneur than it is the absolute mental torture the “corporate man career” route is. And I’m not joking. Modern day employment is so bureaucratized you are going to be more efficient and profitable in the long run starting your own company.

Second, because traditional employment is so painful and not the true source to financial success, you must view traditional employment for what it is—a tool to (in the most extreme Machiavellian sense) advance your own personal dreams. Your dreams are not to be a “good corporate man.” Your dreams are to work up enough capital to start your own company or enough money to retire ASAP. You’re not going for a gold watch. You’re not going for a 401k match. You’re not going for a corner office.

You are going in there, day in, day out, to fuck that company out of as much money for as little work as possible before you throw it away like the slut you picked up at the bar last Friday. You will pump and dump your employer.

Third (and this is really hard, but very key), train your brain to ignore all injustices, transgressions and politics at the office.  This is arguably the biggest “problem” most of my “clients” have. They’ll write page after page of how their co-worker didn’t pull their weight, how a female peer filed a bogus complaint, how the boss changes his mind every day, and in general how the workplace is the opposite of a meritocracy.

So what?

Remember 1) you’re not there for the long haul and 2) you don’t care to get promoted. Just paid.

For example, I was 32 at the time and easily had over a decade of solid (and advanced) financial analytical experience. However, my boss was so inept and staff so dumbed down, that I could finish my real work in about 2 hours. This left 6 hours per day with nothing to do.  So what did she have me do?

File and scan.

MOST of you would find this insulting. But I didn’t. I had achieved that “Zen.” Whether it was 8 hours a day doing advanced economic analysis or 8 hours a day filing and faxing, I didn’t care. It was 8 hours a day I was getting paid for. And so I sat there for A MONTH STRAIGHT doing nothing but scanning files in (the CEO didn’t authorize the $1,200 for a high-speed scanner which would have cut it down to a week). Besides, where was I going to go? All the jobs, no matter what the pay or the titles, were just going to be the same damn thing.

Perhaps it is not what you wanted to hear. Perhaps it is a bit depressing to see yet another piece of the world co-opted and corrupted by societal decay. But like dating and women, you must also take this “red pill of employment” for it is reality. And just like dating, if you based your decisions in the real world, you will have much more success than sticking your head in the sand.

Read Next: The Snitchy Bitch

140 thoughts on “You’ll Never Find A “Good” Corporate Job Like Your Parents Did”

  1. Anytime, anywhere, a corporate job is equivalent to slavery. Why the hell would anyone wanna hold a corporate job for an extended period of time? Men today should be trying to get their financial independence as soon as possible, which involves saving as much money and accumulating wealth as soon as possible. Once enough wealth is accumulated, then you can go do your own thing.

    2. True, but wages remain flat, while the cost of living is increasing. It can be difficult to acquire enough wealth to build something of your own, or even to save for retirement. And even *if* you manage to save enough, the government can take it all away in one fell swoop.

      1. That’s why you need to lower your cost of living, grow your own food and try to get off the grid as much as possible…

  2. The key word of a corporate job is “Compartmentalization.” Don’t take anything seriously unless it stops your paycheck.

  3. Oh, this is true. My solution is to work 4 hours for the job, 4 hours for me. Eventually this always gets me fired, but it’s all the fuckers deserve and that’s all I give them.

    2. You sound like a dick, a poor one. Are you a dumb negro? Now you’ll have to find another job flipping burgers or just live off mama’s welfare as a cellar boy.

  5. Years ago, my close friend told me his ultimate goal was to make as much money as possible and do the least amount of work. I will tell the same advice to my nephews at the right age so that they won’t end up like their burnt out uncle…me 🙁

    1. I aspire to the noble, aristocratic art of doing what I will, and some day, I hope to be doing even less …

  6. Maybe the women can ‘lean in’ while the men opt out. They want to have it all, well, have it all, while we men start anew.

        1. “No” is the most powerful word, almost a lost word in our culture of yes mans.
          Money is good
          Authority is the root of evil

      2. Except that a man opting out will be relying on himself, a woman wanting to opt out will rely on a man.

      3. Just like you see an influx of the female vermin here on RoK as of late. The realize the originality and quality of the content and thoughts are far superior to the regurgitated shit they are using to being fed.
        Plus I think a lot of them just want our dicks too.

  7. Once I graduate I’m determined to make freelancing or entrepreneurship work. I don’t care what I actually end up doing just so long as I am my own boss. Even if I have to end up selling watches out in the street. I never want to kiss ass to a manager ever again.

  8. There are two main ways to avoid becoming a wage slave, depending on your education level:
    * educated guys: become a location independent expert – develop a skill set that lets you work from anywhere. I know several guys who work as free lance programmers. They get a project, set up shop somewhere in Asia where you can rent a nice house with fast internet for little $$$, then blend hard work with a party lifestyle. They only need a handful of projects every year to stay flush and as a bonus they get to travel and party abroad
    * non-educated guys: Develop a skill set that lets you become an independent tradesman: electrician, plumber, carpenter, whatever you’re good at. Then move to Australia where tradies like that are in high demand and make over $100k/year. Or work in the mining industry, making even more $$$. Do this for 3-5 years in your early 20s and you’ll make enough to set up an independent business/invest in such a way that you’ll be halfway to financial independence

    1. Works well for programmers and bloggers. What other jobs let you work from asia with a western salary? (not saying there is not, it’s a genuine question).

    2. I think Australia has very strict immigration laws. They wont even take you if you are over 30 unless you bring some valuable skills there. Its not that easy to pack up and move / work there from what I have gathered from their official visa website. Its not like the USA where we take anything that floats up out of the ocean.

    4. The track boom is over here. There are a surplus of electricians in most major cities. Plumbing is a good one to move into though. There are always going to be shortages, for obvious reasons.

    5. If you’re under 30, and from the US, Australia will take you the very next day. It happened to me. You get 12 months to stay on a “working-holiday visa” and if you go into the Outback (which is fucking awesome anyway) for 3 months, you can extend your stay for another 12 months.
      The Australian Outback is a tough place, but it’s extremely easy to find work, unlike the cities. Plus the women out there are more feminine, and more DTF. The Aussie women in the city are the fucking worst. Sex in the City, with a HORRIBLE accent.
      Plus, none of the other backpackers will go out into the bush. They’ll stay in the safe city, schlepping it at Starbucks, doing the same gimmicky touristy shit as all the others (Surf camp! Bluuuue mountains! OMG, kangaroooooooooos!). You on the other hand, will have great stories, and a sack of cash when you’re done.

        1. I was a station hand and the home tutor on a cattle ranch. It was a good mix of relaxing and hard work. Monday-Friday during school hours I would teach the 3 kids. Sat & Sunday I would do something outdoors, either work with the cattle, fix fences, or ride around the station checking the water levels for the cattle.
          The place was in the Northern Territory, about 6 hours south of Katherine.

  9. perfect : employment is a cash cow.. use and abuse…. the few ‘jobs’ i have ever done .. one involved cleaning the beach in the summer… it was a coverted job because it was largely unsupervised… i invited a friend purely for selfish reasons…. his grandma owned a beach house on my strip… we’d smoke pot all day and keep a look out for the boss’s van we could see coming from miles away…. work 1 hour, get paid for 8. that’s my kind of job.
    aside from that i worked briefly as an engineer… with a company truck to ride about in and collect samples and visit sites… unsupervised… the roster of work was lame, so i’d hammer it out, and then sleep in the car in a side street all afternoon, or go and run my own errands…..
    my only other jobs aside from those two, was contract work to fill in for someone who’d quit… i was a wizz on photoshop and needed the money, so i was doing layouts and images for a newspaper while they searched for a permanent staff… i was so fast at my work that 1-2 hours was good enough… as it was a temporary post, and they were desperate, i’d come in an hour late, take 3 hours for lunch and leave an hour early… and all my work was always completed….
    despite my fightclub attitude to the work place, they still offered me the full position, but i politely declined… they stiffed me on the last few hours pay i was due, and when i complained the boss and i had a good laugh about how many hours i’d been paid for against how many hours i had really worked…. fair enough…
    sure in some jobs, they can sack you on the spot, but by and large if you learn the ropes and are good on your feet with excuses… having made a cracking impression the first few weeks, you can get away with murder….. (and a suitcase full of office supplies every friday afternoon.)

    1. Use and abuse these companies for all they are worth. That’s the attitude they have about you as an employee. Therefore you must return the favor. There is no room for altruism in today’s corporate workforce.

    2. Ahh memories of days gone by for me but I still love stories like this and I swear every person I have ever met who knows what time it is seems to have a bunch of them. Next time you see parks maintenance guys sleeping under a tree mid day while you are on your lunch hour, give them the hat tip they deserve!

  10. Sadly, demographic trend and labor force experts do confirm now is a bad time for young men entering the corporate workforce. Exceptions happen. Double-whammy: future surges in labor demand won’t greatly benefit workers who have entered the corporate world during bad times (multiple studies confirm this.) Conclusion: if you don’t enter the corporate world in at least a moderately good job, you should move on. (personally, I tripled my initial salary in seven years. Yet, I’ve seen counterparts give up and move into nursing, home building after scoring two unrelated degrees.)

  11. I wonder, with the ranks of the older people swelling, we’re probably overdue for a serious worldwide flu pandemic. Biology is a bitch, and with so many people vulnerable you get a situation where old grass is soaked in gasoline on a hot day. There could be a major biological correction to the baby boom. I’m not suggesting this is a good or bad thing, just something to be aware of the potential of.

    1. What are you talking about dude. Lots and lots of boomers in their early to mid-fifties and we have been working out and eating healthy for years. Damn straight we arent going anywhere. Who the fuck wants to retire? Turn into a vegetable? Garden? Gimme a break dude. Im mid-fifties, rocking a corporate career, hit the gym 5 days a week, gamer (both video and “game”), dig EDM got my own (mini) mansion – living the single life, no wife no kids – life is good.
      Giving the whiney whine about boomers is gay as fuck. It was our parents that had it easy as fuck. We are the ones that lost everything in 2000 when the Internet bubble blew, and in 2007 when subprime collapsed.
      Learn from the boomers, dont hate the players – hate the game.

      1. It was our parents that had it easy as fuck. We are the ones that lost everything in 2000 when the Internet bubble blew, and in 2007 when subprime collapsed.
        Did you really just suggest that a generation that lived through/fought in a fucking world war had it easier than your generation because Internet bubble?

    2. Not going to happen and you know nothing about the flu epidemic.Boomers don’t put those shit vaccines into their bodies to weaken it, we have natural immunity.For some reason unknown to science the Boomers were the strongest and smartest generation the world has ever known. No generation before or after has matched them.And if you knew anything about the flu epidemic of 1919 you would know that it killed the healthy and young for some reason. Millions of people had the flu(it had a 3% mortality rate) and the Boomers inherited from their grandparents the antibodies that protect them against pandemics. Those antibodies had become much weaker by Gen Y and millennials so it looks like you nerds are going to get the shaft here as well.
      Have a nice day :o)

      1. You are a fucking sociopathic twat. Kill yourself and take out as many Baby Boomers as possible. Your generation is the greatest generation ever to walk the Earth? Your narcissistic psychobabble’s insanity is only trumped by your inflated ego’s sense of domination and dominion over others. You are probably a 60 year old curmudgeon who got fucked out of a low-level corporate job and rants on the internet to piss people off. This is your hobby, as your flaccid penis ceased being able to be masturbated a long time ago. We should practice eugenics on people like you and eradicate your misanthropic asses and send the ashes into the oblivion of space. Go fuck your self and your entire family.

  12. Captain,
    I have a better job right now then my parents ever have, and a bright future. And that’s not knock against them. They worked their butts off to raise me, imperfectly, but as best they could, and then made sure I was able to find the right kind of education. And it’s also because of my own talent and work ethic, solid career mentors, an ability to learn from my mistakes, and some luck as well.
    This can, and does, still happen all the time to young men and women. And I fully acknowledge that rancid shit is going down in America.
    But you, Captain, keep pushing apathy and “smith & wesson solutions” on young men and I think that’s fucking shameful.

    1. The Smith and Wesson plan is when you’re about to die from a horribly painful terminal disease.
      Not when you’re 25.
      Why is there so much confusion about the Smith and Wesson plan?

    2. He just says it because people want to hear it. And they want to hear it because it excuses their own shortcomings.
      It’s really nothing different from what Michael Moore does.

  13. Everyone wants that cushy ride, that’s why people screw up their lives sucking on some corporate teat. But don’t blame the teat. And screwing over your employer by contributing less is bad advice. You need to develop your “Business Game,” so why not do it on your employer’s time by learning more and contributing more. That way you’re closer to ready when it’s your business and ass on the line.

  14. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Your ‘advice’ consists of repeated cliches that you’re parroting from other people.
    The reason fewer job opportunities exist today is mainly because of increases in productivity: http://www.forbes.com/2009/09/03/economics-unemployment-recession-business-beltway-productivity.html
    Even today, in 2014, if you just want to make some money and have peace of mind, you are far better off doing a very specialized job for a large company than trying to make it on your own. Most enterpreneurs fail. You can consider yourself a special snowflake that will definitely succeed but the statistics just don’t support that.
    There IS a good reason to be an enterpreneur though: The freedom and the thrill of the challenge. That’s why I am an independent enterpreneur. I’m not fooling myself though; if I just wanted to have a 9-5, relax at the beach every weekend, and be liquid, I’d be way better off working for someone.
    To the people who contact you complaining about their job, my advice is this: Suck it up. If you can’t ‘tolerate’ your job how the fuck are you going to be able to tolerate the abuse you’re going to be getting as a private businessman?

    2. “To the people who contact you complaining about their job, my advice is this: Suck it up. If you can’t ‘tolerate’ your job how the fuck are you going to be able to tolerate the abuse you’re going to be getting as a private businessman?”
      This is very true

  15. Hey, Peter! Whaaaats haaappening?
    Yeaaaaahhhhh. I’m going to need you to go ahead and put the new cover sheets on all TPS reports, mmmmmkk? Yeaaaahh. Did you not get the memo on this?
    And, ah, yeaaahhh. I’m going to need you to go ahead and come in this Saturday so we can play catch up, mmmkkk?
    Thaaaankkkks..

    1. and by the way i’m so incompetent and busy browsing facebook to validate my pathetic life, that i’m going to put all my disorganised paniced shit onto you…. so suck it up…

  17. CREAM! Cash rules everything around me. Get the money, fuck the employer. Have an exit plan. Save and invest for a few years then jump ship. OR. Do contracting work in foreign tax free countries getting paid six figures for 5 years and permanently retire……if you invested right.

  18. Lots of folk bitch about their jobs and grind it out anyhow. What’s the point? That just makes you a bitch who complains. If you don’t like it, change it. Otherwise, you’re just an armchair quarterback who needs to shut up.
    OTOH, there are reasons to grind it out- obligations, kids, paying for past mistakes, etc, sure. At that point, though, being a whiny bitch is just being a snake eating its’ own tail.
    Fuck, I dunno, lie back and think of England. Just do so quietly if you’re not going to actually do anything about it.

  19. “the Baby Boomer generation was absolutely HORRIBLE in terms of
    financial planning. Most squandered their inheritance from the WWII
    generation, blew what money they made on divorce lawyers, and are now
    the most participatory group in “reverse mortgages.”
    Reading that line I thought, “Thank God Jimmy Fallon took over Leno’s job a couple of nights ago.” The reality is that the out of touch Boomers are hoarding the wealth and opportunities this country has to offer to the younger generation.
    Conan O’Brien’s ousting from his rightful place as the heir to the Tonight Show represents what has happened to the Millennials all over this country in every field. We’re going to need more Jimmy Fallons out there if we are to win this generational war.

    1. Welcome to Generation X’s world… for my 20th high school reunion, most of my peers were still in the assistant-type jobs they got right out of college because the Baby Boomers (still in the same jobs they had when we graduated high school– you know, Ferris Bueller’s parents) hadn’t retired or died-off yet.

    2. Jimmy Fallon? Cant stand that phaggot. Dude isnt even funny reading those canned jokes.
      Leno was awesome.

    3. You’ll never beat the Boomers.The boomer men will be keeping all of the money and young pussy and when they die their money will be well spent on themselves so you won’t even inherit anything but debt. Suckers! haha We’ve been putting fluoride in the water, promoting pot smoking so you’re a docile idiot, giving you “attention deficit” drugs in kindergarten and putting crap and female hormones in the food so that you have low testosterone and behave like pussy whipped pyjama boys that no female wants.We of course only eat pure organic food and drink distilled water :o) All stuff you can’t afford on your min wage burger flipping job. And for the half of you at the bottom we’ve fattened up the females your age with chemicals, drugs and cheap junk food just to demoralise you. You don’t have the money or will now to topple us.And that Obamacare money? We’re using that for spas, health holidays and cruises,life extension drugs and therapy,and sex therapists (young whores).
      I want you to imagine your face with a big boot stomping on it forever because that’s your life.And after we work you in some mind numbing cubicle for life and you get old there won’t even be any money left for health care.We’ll have euthanasia clinics you can go to.And no, it will not be some nice injection of heroin to put you out of your misery but done with one of those cattle stun guns you saw in No Country For Old men.A lot cheaper and won’t poison your meat that will be made into Soylent Green to feed the other cubicle working millennials.
      Have a nice day :o)

  21. 1. Make sure you have 6 kids before you drop out of high school. 2. Make it your career goal to push the carts at Wal-Mart and eventually when you’re about 45, work your way up to head cashier in the tire department. 3. Spend about 50% of your paycheck on cigarettes, lottery tickets, and junk food.

      1. Just trying to help(They’ll follow the advice and I’ll have less competition in life, muahahaha.)

  22. If you have a head for politics you’ll do okay in the corporate world. Corporations are no longer meritocracies, this what you have to understand. Management is not going to just recognize you and reward you for your genius, without shiving one of your co-workers at the same time. I’m talking about established corporations not cutting edge tech startups.
    You want to get ahead? Then be prepared to manipulate, lie, obfuscate, shift blame, mislead and misrepresent. Learn to play management off one another, learn to tell people what they want to hear. I used to be told i was too honest, kept coming up on my reviews, too honest, too harsh in my honesty. Now? I’m a regular smoke machine, blown straight up their asses.
    Best takeaway from this article is to realize that you owe your employer nothing, and they don’t give a shit about you. Take all you can from them, they’re trying to do the same thing to you.

    1. Corporate work is a morale-destroying centralized Soviet bureaucracy that heavily support elite left/liberal politicians for favor… except it’s privately-owned, no other difference. You get paid poorly and treated like a disposable commodity either way.

      1. Mostly, yes. So, if you understand that, if you see the unwritten rules, you are better able to use them to your advantage. You can buck the system, or make it work for you.

    2. Its really not that hard to advance in the Corporate world. Everyone else is so mediocre it isnt hard to shine.
      Of course if you are a white dude, points against you.
      We all know who gets the promotions because diversity and inclusions gots quotas to be fill.
      But if you are really good like I know any King can be — then think of it as a challenge – Sure, the jobs suck. They are mind-numbingly fucked up and you have to be more PC than a fucking grandmother.
      But, if you can play and win at that game you can win at any game.
      It will harden your resolve, your focus – your drive. You will get some street creds.You mentioned you worked at a Fortune 500 company – or you started your own lawn service.
      Jesus fucking christ dudes. You gotta be a businessman if you wanna be a baller. Power and respect is a turn on.
      99% of businesses fail. Dont buy into all these articles as gospel.

      1. I don’t actually want to be promoted too high. Middle management gets stuck with the bullshit, while upper management skatess.
        I’m at a good level where I have knowledge that others don’t, and mangent doesn’t understand what I do (I’m not going to enlighten them), so I have carved out some autonomy for myself. Any bullshit comes up that I don’t want to deal with? I tell my boss to handle it. Servant leadership, if you will. Make the system work for you.

    3. There, if you do that you don’t need to start a business, you can do very, very well in the corporate world.

  23. As a Gen-X’er I would be screwed in corporate also – the situation you Gen-Y and Millennials face is even more restrictive. You poor bastards.
    There quite simply are not enough spaces in the corporate system for people of my talents. Thankfully I’m a contractor (you can be an IT contractor in New Zealand) so my talents are of use in many places. Even so, much of the time my time is wasted doing mind-numbingly boring and meaningless work, or waiting.
    I like your ideas about making a business on the side Cappy. All young people should do that, in addition to working and working out at the gym. In fact I’m thinking of putting together another business, assuming that I can find something worthwhile to do. There’s time, I’m only 47.

  25. What kind of man wants a cushy job? I’d eat a bullet if I had to show up at a do-nothing job every day for 40 years. There was a news story a few months back about a German bureaucrat who retired and left a letter admitting that he’d done no meaningful work for 30-40 years.
    I’ve had jobs like that, for a few months at most, and I started calling it “Day Prison.” It’s like the kind of criminal punishment they use for DUIs and shoplifting moms, the one where you show up at jail on the weekends, just to “serve your time.” Only in reverse, so you’re just showing up to serve time, M-F 9-5.
    Fuck. That.
    Guys, the obstacle IS the path! I mean that as literally and concretely as possible — whatever the biggest problem, the most frustrating thing about your daily life may be, THAT is the one thing you MUST do!
    Trust me, I get it — “hard work” is bullshit. There is no merit in hard work. Only valuable work counts, and sometimes valuable work is hard, and sometimes it’s not. The difficulty is irrelevant to its value. Stacking toothpicks to make a skyscraper is extremely fucking difficult, but worthless.
    The key to career for men is to look around for the things that frustrate you. The things that block your path. First, you have to have a path. That’s easy. Then, the thing that impedes your path IS the instrument of your salvation. It’s the key to the whole problem. It’s the meaning of your otherwise meaningless life.
    Then, when you solve that one, move on to the next one. Repeat until dead.

  26. Remember: you are not a human being in the eyes of your corporate overlords. You are an expensive liability whom they would much rather do without if they could. Like the captain said, never feel guilty over screwing the company for as much money for as little work as possible. When I used to work in retail, my buddies and I made it a point to hold it in and wait to use the bathroom at the store while on the clock. It felt so satisfying to get paid for taking a dump.

    1. You mean to say that your boss didn’t give you toilet breaks? He must have had you working like Chinese coolies. But you sure got even with him giving yourself a stomach ache and then crapping for 5 min. lol I bet he docked your pay and then still fired you. You sound like a real yo-yo. What sort of even a min wage job doesn’t give a few 15 min breaks?

  27. This is 100% true…those “good” jobs are for the very best, not pikers from 2nd and 3rd tier state schools.

  28. This is the best ROK article I’ve read so far and summarizes exactly what I’ve been thinking about my job. I can finish my job in 4-5 hours a day but consistently ask for more projects (which rarely benefit me besides getting some lateral moves for an extra ~1k in my bonus). I’m honestly better off using those last 3-4 hours a day for pleasure or in starting my own business.
    I would love to start my own business but I just don’t have any ideas (and it seems like everything’s been done before). I’m going to keep thinking and trying new things, but at least I know there’s another route (the corporate, get-in get-out path).
    The only thing I would add more detail to in this article is saving and stacking cash. I save about 40% of my income per year–even with an expensive gym membership, an indoor rock climbing membership, a fairly long (45 min) commute to work, and fairly expensive taste in food/alcohol. By cutting the big pieces in your spending (expensive car loans, buying new clothes all the time, cell phone bill, etc) and even cutting some of the unnecessary little costs (haircuts–just cut your own hair and save $20-30 a month), you can save a TON. Stack $2k a month in your bank account and at 7% interest you’re just shy of a million in 20 years.

    2. You’ll get 2% so you had better accumulate at least $10 million to get $200k and that’s before taxes. Just barely enough to finance a bachelor’s lifestyle unless you want to live like a prole in Dirtwater,Alabama.Your real income after taxes on the interest from that $10m capital would be more like $120k. The most a bank would loan you based on that is $300k which means that you’d need $2m in cash to buy a house if you wanted to. Anything under that price range and you’re living near the lower classes.

      1. Old story I know,
        But I can live well on $1500 a month, $18k/year.
        No need for interest, $500,000 can last 30 years.

  29. This is pretty much my exact experience in my 10 years in the corporate world. The only real difference is that instead of spending my extra 6 hours scanning or filing, I spent it on the internet. I now work as a bartender.

  30. This is all very, very true.
    I have, in fact, built a company. It was exciting as hell the first 5 years. Once we got traction and we were on a steady path of growth, what did we do? We starting doing things that made that company a shitty place to work, just like any 100 year old company. Why did we do that? Because that company had to survive in a society, a culture, and an economy, that forces everything down to its lowest common denominator.
    I left full time work there. But still collect a heft monthly fee for showing up occasionally. The point is, even with a company I started, it eventually turned into something that I do nothing more than use for my own personal benefit.
    Now, let me say this: As a man, you want to be truly productive. If you are a weak man, you will spin away in a corporate environment. If you are a strong man, you want to contribute to the advancement of your tribe. You want to do brilliant things, or build incredible things, or invent ingenious things, that will serve your progeny. This desire is built into your genetic code.
    I hate to create competition for myself, as I am a selfish man that looks out for his own interests and those of my small, trusted circle. But to serve manhood at large, I will tell you this. If you really have a strong desire to contribute your innate productivity and want it to be appreciated, forget about doing that in the USA. You will find that everyone in the USA has the attitude that they are OWED your productivity.
    But some other countries are not like that. Forget Europe. But in many emerging countries, people still respect a man that can create things. Build things. Overcome obstacles.
    In those countries, you will not find everything nice and tidy. You will see a lot of poverty. You will see some dirt and some grime. You will see a lot of corruption. Really, you will see what the USA looked like before WW II, before the Greatest Generation built what is today the USA.
    However, that is the fertile ground upon which to do great things.
    There are not many men left in America who can do what I am talking about. Those that can, who wake up, who have seen the world – many of those men do it. It’s a rewarding life, because at the end of the day, after making yourself wealthy, you are truly helping a country and its people. They appreciate it. They love you for it.
    Imagine building a major infrastructure project where people lack such things.
    You could be the one doing that. And you could be doing that and meanwhile finding a rewarding personal life that is slut-free, in a place where it really does make sense to have a family.

    1. The Boomers were the Greatest Generation. They were an anomaly that Nature created that pops up every thousand years and are the creme de la creme of Alpha manhood.The WWII generation were mama’s boys brought up in the mom and apple pie US matriarchy and whipped by the Depression.By the time WWII came along they were so bored, broke and pussy whipped that going into the army and being an automaton looked good to them, Their women would treat them like crap and while away were fucking the bad boy thugs and guys who were smart enough to stay out of the war and get rich in the war industries.All they got was a Dear John letter from their slut fiancée, who was now with the thug, about how hard it was back home (lol) and how she had to hock her engagement ring to buy necessities- like a new pair of shoes or something lol.If he managed to get out alive with perhaps just a blown off foot he’d get a few dollars army pension and a new nickname like the Gimp.
      Damn! Even the few drug addled Boomer hippies had the hippy girls doing the housework, cooking and taking care of the brats (that was female work) and the girls were grateful to do it.The Boomer hippy boys spent their time getting high, shagging other girls(hey it’s free love) and if they needed some money just sent their old lady out to work, beg, or sell their arse. And these were the dumb Boomer men!

  32. Sir, I am afraid that news of the death of this great nation has been exaggerated. Today, right now, you are living in the most resilient, vibrant, open economy in history. Culturally we might be in decline, but not economically. This collapse is not going to happen in our lifetime brother.
    You are too bright to have such a poor outlook on life. Your analysis of corporate America was right on but this economy offers other opportunities.

    1. You’ll forgive me if I prefer to give my credentials and decades of experience more weight than your opinion.

    2. I share your optimism. I think when people see the world’s future dark, it’s either really just their own, personal future they are worried about, or they are making money off of catering to those gloomy folks.
      If one looks at where the world was 40, a hundred years ago or even further back, it almost looks like paradise today.
      No world wars, no cold war, no terrible epidemics: What is these peoples’ problem, really?

  33. Captain Capitalism-
    As an analyst are you an Institute CFA?
    To all the IT guys-
    Whats a way to make money online location independent that’s readily replicable with minimal technical knowledge?

    1. nigerian prince scams. but seriously now, you do need to be above-average in competency to score a sweet remote job. if you’re average or below, no company would let you work from afar cause they can’t trust you. so either get good at what you do, find a loophole in the system, or just rot in an office somewhere. your call chief.

    2. amazon-ebay reseller.
      Other routes require gifts, talents, or training. I am making good money as a live-streaming character artist, but that took decades of training.

  34. Great article as always. I’ll be sure to keep this in mind next time I start hating my job.

  35. Entrpepreneurship is over-romantasised and over-rated.
    Being an entrepreneur is not suited for everybody.
    Starting a business or working for yourself can be much harder and more stressful than dealing whith the corporate world.

    2. Yes, but you are free and your own man, which is a priceless good in your life.
      Of course a basement dweller wouldn’t know the immense satisfaction you get from saying a big ‘fuck you’ to all the manipulating cunts (of both genders) in corporate culture.
      Come at me corporate losers, come at me tax man, I am offshore registered and well beyond your reach.

  36. I don’t think the sheer number of people in the work force is a problem (i.e. baby boomers not retiring). Its the interference of the government in the economy, which destroys capital and reduces productivity by way of regulation and taxes (creating barriers to entry and slowing down growth). Its like a Stalinist five year plan of plunder, stretched out over a 100 years or more. This is what makes jobs dull and boring and makes it very difficult to successfully start your own business. It also makes us all poorer.

    1. Without Government intervention, you would not have a company to work for. Oligopolies and all that. There is no such thing as a market free of regulation. There would be no market. The worse thing coming from Ayn Randists (a novelist) is that they believe that they know something.

      1. This seems…. strange. The implication being that a free market is physically impossible. Why do I need regulation to voluntarily sell my property to someone who wants to buy it?

        1. Because regulation establish the rules by which you can sell the property, so both of you have a framework to base your agreement. And this is for individual transactions, imagine what is needed for aggregates, for thousands or millions. That is why we have a State, and with it came the possibility of having a Civilization. Liberal or Socialist (non-American names in this sentence), Libertarian or Market Socialist, Welfare State or Libertarian, are all different ways of regulating markets, benefiting some participants over others or not. When the State (in the US) allowed the introduction of banks into high finance (even to degrees of derivatives of derivatives), it allowed the housing bubble and collapse to happen. It was regulation, but not the kind that was useful to everybody.
          For more about how “the market” was formed, the work of reference is “The Great Transformation” by Karl Polanyi, where he “discovered” how the State created the market itself.
          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Polanyi
          And the book:
          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Transformation_%28book%29

        2. Two people can easily establish the rules by which they transact. There is absolutely no need for “regulation” from an external source or authority. This merely brings an additional layer of cost and complexity to the transaction. No central power can do what you say (establish rules that can apply to millions of transactions – that is entirely impossible). As no two people are exactly alike, neither are two transactions. The suggestion that two people need the outside help of “experts” to act in their own interests is indicative of the pessimistic view that socialists have of other people, especially those who disagree with them.
          Libertarianism is a political philosophy. It is not a method of regulating markets. Regulation, in the context of markets, is a rule laid down and enforced by an authority, such as a government. There is no such authority applicable in a market free from government interference.
          Your chronology is out of order. Vilification occurred long before the appearance of the nation state.

  37. If you are working in a corp. job, make sure you cheat the system as much as possible, and be as lazy and unproductive as possible.

  38. The problem with the boomers retiring late is that the younger generations(under 40) that weren’t able to build up enough skills or capital in that time will be locked out unless ageism becomes less of a problem in the workforce. I’m currently teaching in Australia. Landing a permanent position has been difficult. Why? Because the average age of teachers here is like mid 50’s and there are too many fucking degrees being handed out without enough available positions. If all the boomers retired tomorrow there would be thousands of jobs up for grabs, but they won’t so there aren’t.
    Honestly, by the time i do land a permanent position i will be in my 40’s and will have maybe 10 great working years at best. I am lucky that I saved early, own my house outright, and have some inheritance to look forward to that will prevent me from living in poverty during my retirement years.
    The fact is, we are living in different times and the old rules no longer count. Most of us at ROK understand that, but trying to explain that to anyone over the age of 45 is a fucking nightmare. Working hard makes you look like a sucker now. One of my friend’s works hard as an accountant yet hasn’t been promoted for years. Why? Because kissing ass and networking with the ‘right’ people is more important when it comes to getting ahead. Because he doesn’t go out for drinks all the time with staff he gets overlooked.
    There was a great book written about this years ago called ‘Hello Lazyness’ written by a French woman of all people. It basically claimed that to get ahead in the corporate world you do a moderate amount of work, not a lot, because you will be targeted by less motivated employee looking to get ahead and use you as a springboard while taking all the credit for your efforts.
    The corporate world is like an adult playground. It’s full of petty, backstabbing, egotistical cunts who care about nothing but themselves.
    If i had my time again i would just do a trade. I could always move into a trade as an adult, but it’s much harder. Physically your body isn’t the same in your 30’s as it is in your teens, which is the ideal time to become a tradesman.

  39. Glad this shit doesn’t apply to me. A British company pays me $15,000 a month to mostly lift weights and play video games. There is limited pussy and alcohol where I’m at but every 3 months I can go home and indulge as much as I need to.

        2. If your prior military I could send you the details, there are still plenty of positions that pay 6 figures. As I mentioned the main draw back is living away from your home for a few months at a time.

  40. What a pretentious cunt.. OH I’M SO BUSY AND PRECIOUS TO HELP PEOPLE AND WASTE MY “FINITE LIFE” SO I’LL JUST TELL EVERYONE TO GIVE UP ON THEIR DREAMS AHHHH! I am glad people like you exist so that I can surpass you on that corporate ladder you claim is impossible to climb.

  41. Great article, thanks!
    Yup, let the sociopaths – AKA women- take all the jobs in the world, after all that’s what they always wanted, right girls? (to feminists reading this article), and also,
    let them get all stressed up and caught up in the rat race, pursuing the Chanel
    bag and looking up at the glass ceiling 🙂

  43. There’s a lot of truth in this article, but it doesn’t really match up with my experiences very well in terms of interesting work. I got a degree as an engineer, and have actually been challenged through my career. I spent quite a bit of that time working at a power plant where it was my job to figure out what was causing a problem, and then to fix that problem. I had a lot of autonomy and got to make things happen. The coroporate part of it sucked, but making things happen and being your own boss to a great extent is good. If you have to go entrepreneur to do it, I say go for it. Otherwise, think about technical work.

  45. Why is employment always defined as a boring office job that you hate? There are many exciting employment jobs, such as cops, firemen, paramedics, and many more.

  47. Corollary: when in the corporate rat-race, NEVER work for free. Never do unpaid overtime. Don’t work for time in lieu, or perks, or recognition, or the key to the upstairs washroom, or status, or for any other form of compensation that isn’t MONEY. Trying to show what a good employee you are by doing unpaid overtime is like showering a woman with gifts and text messages. It has the opposite effect of what you want, and for exactly the same reason. The only reward you get for working unpaid overtime is the opportunity to do *more* unpaid overtime, on an ongoing basis, until their fire your ass during one of their periodic corporate reshuffles.
    My current job (for personal reasons) is an exception – but if I ever have to go back to working for one of those outsourcing outfits coding for tax or immigration, I’ll be following my rule.

    1. I see these younger guys (im 30) kissing ass and doing all this extra work (IT stuff, etc) for the boss, thinking theyre going to be recognized and rewarded for it at some point.
      Then, if you’re the guy who would point out to them theyre just gonna get screwed, they take it out on YOU.
      I cant help but see these millennial boys as hopelessly feminized and duped.

    1. Good luck with that. Grazing shots that leave you paralyzed REALLY suck, so I am sincere.

  49. I find it quite funny how you describe everything in overly Machiavellian terms and essentially accuse anyone who is in a big company of not caring about anyone else, trying to screw each other over and kissing ass. It’s like suggesting 60-80% of people are inherently evil and happy to screw people over? I just don’t buy it.
    In the UK this simply isn’t the case. What does ‘politics’ even mean?! Most people who blame the politics are really blaming their inability to self promote. Yes, you may be the best in the office and get passed over for promotion- it’s your job to make sure people see the value of what you do! It’s your job to find out ways you can help the team and get things done quicker and faster. It’s actually your job to make your bosses life easier! These aren’t underhand facts that are screwing the system- these are obvious and self evident skills required in a capitalist, meritocratic society!
    I’m certain that if you were REALLY that much better than your boss you could have found a way to get in on a project that would give you exposure to your bosses’ boss.Or at least your bosses peer. You could have used those extra 6 hours a day to scope out your role – could other teams have had an in-balance where your skills could have enacted a whole load of change? Were their processes a mess and you could fix them in a short time period? There are loads of opportunities to add value without being a sycophantic, annoying kiss arse prick. BOOM. 6 months later your name is known across different teams, with a wider skill set, adding value to people’s lives without being the person who just smiles and giggles when the big swinging dicks walk past. You’re the guy/girl who gets stuff done, looks for ways to make a bigger impact, and does so accordingly. Most people genuinely just want to enjoy work and their co-workers.
    Your attitude is what needs changing; not your skill set.

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