The Benefits Of Having A Good Wingman

Preparing Yourself

Having a wingman you can depend on makes your gaming life incredibly easier. However, before you begin searching high and low for that great wingman, you must do two things. First, you must be a good wingman yourself. To reach this level, see my fellow ROK writer’s article here. Knowing what makes a good wing can make you appreciate how amazing a benefit it is to have a high quality wing you can trust when you are out gaming. Moreover, no high quality wing wants to be with someone who can’t reciprocate.

Second, to elaborate on one of the requirements from the above-mentioned article, you should go out solo to develop and hone your own skills enough to be able to operate without the reliance of a wing. Then, not only will you be able to take the assist a wing gives you to completion, but you can also appreciate how easy it is to not have to go out solo. Don’t get me wrong, going out solo is fun and rewarding, but it is harder than having that good wing.

Finding A Good Wingman

I will not sugarcoat it and say this is easy, but it is possible with some effort. As we get older more and more of our friends drop into the LTR or marriage zone, diminishing our available pool of known gentlemen to select a good wing from.

The more difficult way is to meet them out while gaming yourself. It can happen, but I would not rely on this method. The easier way is to put yourself in a position to meet like-minded people, and see who you have some “wing chemistry” with. I’ve met a few people off the Roosh forum and while almost all of them are solid people, you tend to only click with a few for gaming purposes.

I have no problem giving credit where credit is due. Upon relocating from LA, one of the guys I met up with turned out to be a great wing and someone I was able to game easily with. On at least two occasions off the top of my head, he has been directly responsible for my success. The first we approached two girls standing on the patio of a bar, and within minutes he had my girl’s friend out of there. He didn’t end up going home with her (he went home with another girl), but he gave me enough of a window to isolate and leave with the girl I was speaking to.

And as recently as this past weekend, which I reference in the below tweet, he literally just had a girl waiting for me at a bar.  That my friends, is a good wing.

Developing The Wing Relationship

Now imagine if you take a good wing, and go out with him hundreds and hundreds of times over the course of years. That is the situation for myself and one of my buddies. We have been gaming, on and off, for 15 years. You develop almost a sixth sense of what the other one is doing, having done this so many times that it becomes second nature.

I was keeping a live journal of my Russia trip this past summer. Upon recounting a night where my buddy and I met up with one guy in Moscow, he had the following comments regarding our means of operating:

Had a really good time at the club with you guys, have to say you and your friend were working the room pretty darn well and your buddy is a really funny guy. You guys have a laid back vibe but know when to turn it up, and sort of instinctively know what each other are doing at all times out there too.

If you and your wing go out enough together, you will reach this level. You will know what the other is thinking, what he wants to do, and what you should do at any specific time. Another example — this time being my words recounting one night from the same Russia trip — also copied from the live journal I was writing:

Some new guys come up, and one of the other guys doesn’t give up on the girls. The bangable one makes eye contact with me a few times and smiles and I smile back. These girls also keep pounding shots, I saw them take 4 shots from when they first got to the bar, all after 6:30 a.m. They are hammered. I keep waiting for any opportunity that the bangable one is alone for one second so I can go in there, but these guys won’t give up.

Finally I look at my buddy who’s standing next to her, point to the bangable blonde and mouth to him “tell her to come over here” while doing the come hither motion with my finger. He understands me and immediately he taps her on the shoulder, tells her whatever and she comes over to me. Honestly sometimes I’m spoiled with such a good wing.

The girl and her friend jumped in a cab with me, but it ended in disaster after her friend vomited inside the cab. Despite the hilarious but sad ending, the fact remains that without having such a good wingman, that opportunity would not have arisen.

I realize how fortunate I am with my buddy of 15 years, but as I point out above it is possible to develop and foster a new wing relationship. In the end, a wing is not necessary by any means and there is a lot of personal development one can accomplish by going out solo. But a good wingman can do wonders to alleviate some of that effort.

Read Next: What Effort Looks Like

26 thoughts on “The Benefits Of Having A Good Wingman”

  1. You are missed as a wing on the West Coast. Get your ass back to LA or Vegas asap.
    Christian McQueen

  2. The older I get, the more I too realize how hard it is to find a solid wingman, who has taken the red pill, understands game, is not tied down to an LTR, cuckold marriage or a slave to his 24/7 corporate master. That being said, I def enjoyed the points made in this article.

  3. “I don’t give a fuck as long as she has a vagina is willing to go home with me.”
    That’s my wingman’s motto so you can imagine the grenades I send him after in order to isolate my objectives. All in all, he’s a pretty good wingman.

    1. I know a couple of guys with this demeanor and all and all they are good wingmen..just remember, the day will come when they want you to repay this favor. Wear your flak because you may have to at the very least entertain a bullet.

      1. Oh, he has tried to. I don’t leave him hanging but he knows I’m not going to be the seal in a circus filled with sea donkeys.

      2. Dealing with wingmen involves as much politics and game as dealing with women, but it pays off. You have to set boundaries. I was gaming this chick once and around the 3rd date I found out that somehow my wingman (who is 32 and 5 years older than me, so somewhat more experienced) had got her number and they were repeatedly texting each other. I had to set that straight with him. Now we have a rule that I don’t mess with his lays and he doesn’t mess with mine. But if you do little things to help each other out, like keep their ‘plan B girl’ occupied while they chat up with their ‘plan A girl’, wingmen will stay with you and won’t get pissed at you for that.

  4. If you’re solid yourself you should be able to adapt and become a good wingman for anyone in need. I know a couple, they are hard to find, that can help me work a room when talking to women or sealing a business deal.
    Good Article.

  5. My wingman at home tried to get an agreement with a girl he only first met that night in the bar, that she would sleep with both of us at the same time. I had spent most of the day banging one of my back then regular girls and i was keen to just have some drinks and go home alone. The girl was quite astonished by my friends proposal and turned it Down. However she was still prepared to go home with my friend. My friend got Little pissed and asked why, and said “I thought u were fun etc”. The look at her face trying to qualify to my Alpha wing without having to bone me was hilarious, Then my friend said what if he banged her first and then I could take the second trip loolz, but she wasnt up with that either, but my wing wouldnt give up. I had to actually interfer, saying its ok, shes not up for it and im kindof ambivalent anyways. I thought back then it was amazing to project such behaviour to a girl and still she wanted to go home with him. I could tell she actually got defensive and scared when my wing displayed his anger towards her “lack of fun”

    1. I had a couple of offers of batting on a sticky wicket, but turned them down out of politeness, mainly to me, myself and manhood. I ended up with nothing on those occasions, because, well usually her mate had buggered off coz she didn’t fancy me. One for the team though. Always nice to be asked.

      1. Yeah, this was a case of my friend (wingman) was bored by simply taking her home on a normal one night stand. He wanted to push her boundaries abit and was really pressing her saying stuff like “Come on! don’t you wanna have a thresome?” The uncomfortable expression in the girls eyes was kinda funny to watch, We laugh about this episeode also today.

        1. Girls do get themselves into some situations, don’t they? That moment where they realise that whatever they think or want doesn’t count for fuck. Don’t cultivate it, but been there when it happens. Funny is putting it mildly.
          Some Men are not Gentlemen. I’ve been at parties where so called men took advantage of drunken women. Many many years ago. It was like the Lord of the Flies. I’ve got the Conch! I’ve got the Conch, kind of thing.
          Anyway. Men are beasts. But just try explaining that to women.

  6. I’ve realized at my age ,31, you’re going to have a very hard time finding a wingman at all, let alone a good one. Every one in my age group is married, kids or married with kids or they have mediocre jobs and aren’t able to wild out on the weekends or going some where with out 1 year worth of notice

  7. The Holy Grail is having a very good wingwoman. It sometimes paves the way for epic threesomes.

  8. I touched on good wingmanship a couple of times in this thread:

    6 Tips For Getting Laid In London

    It was a rather long first post and I can’t be bothered to dig out the bits right now.
    But suffice it to say, in a city like London, it is very difficult to ‘fly solo’, with it being such an image conscious place, not to mention the logistics of getting around. It doesn’t really matter in an underground club where everyone is off their nut, but in a bar in soho, to walk in alone is to die alone. Even a temporary stooge can save the day of looking like billy no mates on his jack jones.
    But as we all know, a good wingman is anything but a stooge. Wingmanship is imho at its best when it is reciprocal. Yes, you scratch my back and all that, but there is a form of low level psychic ability needed oftentimes when one is thinking on ones feet in new situations. Not to mention reading from the well worn book of quotes and jokes and one liners, not too neg put downs, excuses and bluffs etc.
    It gets harder as you get older for sure. Harder to find someone who is not in a relationship, or who is not broken and can still play the game. And I would be a positive liability to a younger man, knowing how age conscious women can be. I suppose I could pretend to be his cool dad, or probably better, his boss, but it is extra effort when what is needed is a naturalness and rapport, often practiced until it is second nature. Sure, you can adapt to new situations in a push, turn it around to your advantage even, but I’m talking generally here.
    I’ve been happy to help out my buddy even when he’s ended up pulling the sweeter girl and I’m left with the tug, but on the whole I have done very well out of the situations where I’ve flown tandem, so I can’t complain. And when you help him bag a sweety, he kind of owes you one too. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?

  9. I once had a buddy take a cheap shot at me in front of a girl, making fun of something was wearing. I tried to explain to him that being a wing man is about being someone’s backup, not using your buddy as a prop to build rapport with a girl.
    What’s the vote here?
    I never trusted him after that. It’s not that I’m overly sensitive, it’s just that I realized that he was not in a team mindset.

    1. The vote is: don’t be a faggot. Guys get up in each other’s grills all the time. If he was actively trying to cockblock you, that would be different, but pointing out something you’re wearing isn’t that.
      You should have replied with something equally obnoxious about his appearance (and not in a ‘playful’ way at all) then watched the girl’s attraction for you skyrocket.

  10. Great article. There is no better way to motivate yourself in any aspect, including approaching and meeting girls, working out, etc… than having a reliable, positive, non-flaky wingman who can teach you a few things here and there and be by your side when it matters.

  11. Nothing wrong with being used to build rapport if that is what it takes, but after yourself, to your wingman be true. If he is any good and a keeper you will want to treat him with respect to hold onto him. A cheap shot is a cheap shot. Beta behaviour. Then again if you just happen to think of the most side-splittingly funny off the cuff in the moment joke that is pertinent to the situation, and it happens to be about your wingman’s shirt, well he should be big enough to take it and not whinge. All concerned should be able to tell if it was said with disrespect or razor sharp momentary wit. And the wingman taking it on the chin shows deeper character on his part and therefore that is reflected back again to the buddy. And if it really cuts to the quick, a little ‘eh, you owe me a beer for that one you delivered below the belt’, should diffuse any ill feeling.
    I once had a close friend as a wingman, until one night he just totally wigged out on me. It turns out he had built up years of resentment for me getting the nicer girls. But the truth was, I did all the heavy lifting and he just picked up the crumbs from the rich man’s table. He never complained at the time. We did work well together though and we both benefited somehow. We remained friends but didn’t pull together after that.
    The most relevant thing I can think to your situation there was when my buddy (only a part time wingman and off duty that particular night) was chatting up a very very sexy girl and I just took a flyer. Went right up to him and asked if he got his test results back yet. The look of horror on his face was because he was unprepared, but the girl with him took it to be something more sinister. Busted. I ended up fucking her the next night, with a selection of about three dozen pairs of high heels for her to wear in her bedroom. I told her to wear the riding boots and whip me with her crop. Strange but true. It was a first for both of us. But even stranger, we ended up in a LTR for nearly two years until I betrayed her.
    So I would say that one incident was very justified, wouldn’t you? She spat out her drink and he just walked away without saying a word. It could have so easily backfired though. Some bitches are not to be messed with. That kind of ‘think you’re funny’ jack the lad humour can seriously backfire.
    But yeah, why work with someone of low caliber?
    In fact thinking about that scenario for a moment, it would be quite a good setup in itself: You go over to her and be bland, I will swagger in and insult you, you walk away! We need all the angles we can get with the devious little witches these days. You know they do it to us, and worse!

  12. Glad you pointed out that in order to find a good wingman, it is important to
    1) be a good wingman yourself and 2) be good at rolling out solo
    I want to add that the two points are strongly connected. When two men are good wingmen and compliment each other well, there will be a combination of gaming 2-on-2, 2-on-3, and many times 2-on-a whole group of girls. A big part of game when winging, is to ISOLATE. If you and your wing are doing things right, you aren’t even spending much time with each other when you are at a bar/club if your intent is to get laid…
    Two good wings would be too busy having fun and gaming girls, instead of holding each other’s dicks. Many times, me and LawDogger only hang for the first few approaches, and then we are off to the races, once one(or both) of us have something going.
    I’ve seen LawDogger with his other wings. They are ruthless(in a good way) and efficient.
    My closest homie MJ is also one of my best wings and world travel buddy. We’ve discussed “wingmanship” and concluded that because we are such good friends, we aren’t the best wingmen for each other. Sometimes we can be too obnoxious or get too wasted and try to show off our game and see who can pull the craziest shit while “winning”.
    It has resulted in less bangs because we are more about getting good laughs than sealing the deal and being “professional” when it comes to our game, haha.
    Great article and thanks for the shoutout.
    Clint Barton

  13. You shouldn’t be too dismissive of having married wings. I’m married and I enjoy winging for my single friends when I go out. My game isn’t as smooth as theirs, since I don’t go out as much, but it still seems to help them out and it gives me a chance to practice my game.

  14. I moved to a new city a few years back and met this dude who I rolled out with a few times. Worst wingman ever!!! Cock blocked, would try to dominate every single convo and just be a general retard on the booze. Burnt him and just rolled out solo until I met some friends. Still roll out solo pretty regularly and sometimes prefer it that way.

  15. Respect to Law Dogger. However – Fuck this asinine juvenile bullshit. Don’t focus on being a ‘good wingman’. Focus on being a good friend. You really want to be the guy who prioritizes being usurious of other male acquaintences? Getting laid is the easiest thing in the world. You don’t need a good wingman anywhere, anytime if you have the inner outer work down pat. Besides, women instinctively know when you are, out of sheer goodwill, befriending a guy who’s desperate/trolling for pussy/lower value than you (the thirsty guy who says to you ‘dude we should TOTALLY wing together’), and it’s attractive. Be a good friend and the ‘problem’ takes care of itself.

  16. Good article, a bit short and superficial but still good.
    I actually prefer a group of 3 or more in lieu of a good wingman, which of course can be a lot more difficult to get together the older you get if you want ‘wingmen’ in the proper sense. On the other hand, it is easier with age to get loose aquintances, coworkers, guys from sports teams whatever to go to bars with you as a group instead of just 2 guys which most guys in relationships etc will find to stressful, because they don’t want to stand around by themselves. Being 3 or more allows one of you or more to roam and do your thing, while still having a base and being able to get some support and pawn of some of the warpigs in a group.
    Have any of you older guys adapted to using this kind of group dynamic instead of rolling solo?

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