The Heinous Incorporation of “Sorry” Into The Male Vernacular

Many of us were raised to demonstrate good manners—say “please” and “thank you,” do not talk with your mouth full, knock before entering (the validation of that rule is a story for another time), avoid interrupting someone while they speak—but somehow, somewhere along the way, being a passive, fault-bearing pushover was incorporated into the unwritten list of appropriate social behavior for men.

This societal defect is due to the fact that many of us younger men were also raised to get in touch with our sensitive sides (i.e. feminine sides). Gone now are the masculine influences that helped mold the exemplars of the past, who demonstrated to the world that masculinity was, indeed, expedient.

Deprived of these role-models, society continually labels all who openly exhibit masculinity as chauvinistic, misogynistic cavemen who are trapped in the past. Thus, we are not only encouraged to act like women, but we are also shamed if we act like men. And what is our generation’s sensitive-side response to this attack? “Sorry.”

From the article, “How to Apologize to Your Girlfriend Be a Beta.”

The Reality

I have seen a myriad of those who, instead of saying, “excuse me,” and walking through a crowd, decide that the better alternative is to say “Sorry!” to everyone they pass. If the minuscule inconvenience of taking a step back while someone walks by warrants an apology, then I must spend the entirety of my future apologizing to the countless victims that I have wronged (in addition to all the women that I did not check my privilege with).

A quick observation reveals the apologetic nature of most individuals: we all know at least one guy who, upon being told that he apologies too much, apologies. But what of yourself? Are you inclined to apologize for inconsiderable offenses? Is apologizing your initial response to any uncomfortable situations? Do you frequently shift blame onto yourself and feel the need to apologize for issues that you were uninvolved in? In any case, this unnecessary usage of the word sorry must cease.

The First Issue

Incessant apology displays weakness. It displays that an individual always assumes fault for anything that goes wrong. Most importantly, it reveals a fear of displeasing others. This is remarkably detrimental to the improvement of oneself for two reasons.

1. You Will Be Taken Advantage Of

If people who apologize frequently are those who do not want to displease others, they must also be inclined to do whatever is asked of them. The individual infrequently receives help from others, yet he is eager to assist one in need, regardless of what his relationship with the person is.

Over time, this passive individual may gain a reputation as the guy who helps everyone. Once this has occurred, he will be even further compelled to make others’ lives easier, and thus will dig himself into a near-inescapable tomb, where he will wallow in self-pity and curse his inability to say “no.” The one who fears displeasing others will always end up displeasing himself.

2. You Will Become Stagnant

If the entirety of one’s life is spent helping others’ every need, no time will be spent improving himself. A motivational speaker is of no use if he cannot implement what he teaches into his own life; accordingly, the proverb, “Physician, heal thyself (found in Luke 4:23),” may be rewritten as, “Counselor, advise thyself.”

In other words, attend to your own issues before attempting to resolve the same issue in others. The one who fears displeasing others will always end up regretting that he neglected self-improvement for the sake of helping others, who now surpass him in quality.

Bruce Lee never said, “Be like stagnant water.”

The Second Issue

Saying “sorry” too much signals instability. It demonstrates that trivial matters are overwhelming to an individual and that his go-to method for dealing with the anxiety is to demean himself. Instead of recognizing the situation as insignificant, he easily distributes one of his most valuable possessions—a genuine apology.

One who never uses profanity will always be taken seriously when he does implement profanity. In the same manner, one who rarely apologizes will convey sincerity when he does so. As men, our apologies should be reserved for only the gravest of mistakes. If you say that you are sorry after sneezing, how can anyone be sure that your apologies for more important matters are sincere?

The Remedy

So, when is it appropriate to apologize? Instead of dealing in absolutes, I will defer to your personal experience as the method of discernment. A safe assumption, however, is the following.

A = number of times you think it is appropriate to apologize.

B = number of times it is actually appropriate to apologize.

A > B

Consider the following two dialogues:

“You’re late.”


“You’re late.”

“I understand. I will make sure that I arrive five minutes early to the next meeting.”

I would expect the first response from an entitled, millennial receptionist who sashayed into the room, Starbucks in hand. The second response, on the other hand, conveys a genuine intent to correct the mistake. Essentially, the second response accomplishes the desired task—without the need for apology! Such is the objective of the masculine man.

The Collapse

When a society becomes permeated with those afraid to speak the truth, the result is what we see in America today: a politically-correct, tolerance-forcing majority that determines acceptable social behavior. Although this may sound similar to a DIRECTV advertisement (don’t perpetuate a blue-pill society—get rid of unnecessary apologies), the message is that seemingly trivial matters such as this accumulate and lead to much greater problems.

In a world where men are encouraged to get in touch with their feminine sides, we need to remind society what true masculinity is, sans-apology.

Read More: How To Build A Beta Male

162 thoughts on “The Heinous Incorporation of “Sorry” Into The Male Vernacular”

    1. John Wayne used to rewrite the scripts so that his characters would appear more masculine. He was all man.

      1. Have you noticed the push from the queers to say that JW was gay? It, like claiming all contact sports are homoerotic, is part of their playbook.

    2. The problem is people apologising for meaningless shit.
      Sorry I was in a traffic jam
      Sorry I missed work, I fell and broke my leg
      Sorry, I misread your fucking pointless email
      Unbelievable the shit people apologise for.

      1. “Sorry for speeding officer and thanks for the ticket. You´re doing a great job.”

    3. That was also in Swimming with Sharks
      Kevin Spacey
      A really solid movie on masculine integrity

    4. I used to quote that at my dad when he needlessly apologised! It made him angry 🙂
      Perhaps unsurprisingly I don’t ever remember him sincerely apologising for something.

  1. And for the fools who still don’t understand how they’re weakening society with their apologies of cowardice, I present you this (by the way, fuck all of you worthless faggots undeserving of the shriveled almonds you call testicles. Now is the time to grow a pair):
    “10 Reasons Why You Should Live Without Apology”

    10 Reasons Why You Should Live Without Apology

  2. Saying sorry is a good way to diffuse a bad situation though. It really depends if you have the upper-hand or not. If you’re a billionaire you can get away with a lot , or “I’m not rich enough to be an asshole”. It’d like chess, sacrificing a pawn (saying sorry) to get a rook later. It depends on the situation, really.

  3. Anybody else notice how Akon sort of disappeared from the limelight after he went all beta and started saying “sorry” in his songs instead of “I wanna fuck you”?

  4. Good post. Stop using ‘sorry’ for day to day interactions with women. It pedestalizes the woman.

    1. So when Cunt Pink burst in the room:
      “more protesters popped up in the room, screaming about Vietnam and rattling off his “war crimes.”
      “Vietnam! From 1969 to 1973, Kissinger, working for Richard Nixon, oversaw the slaughter in Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos, that led to the deaths of millions — millions of people. Many thousands more died from the effects of massive doses of agent orange and from unexploded bombs that covered the countryside!” a protester shouted. “Chile! Henry Kissinger was one of the principle architects of the coup in Chile on September 11th, 1973…”
      94yo ex Secy of State George Shultz responded:
      “Shultz then stood up to verbally battle the protesters, saying, “I salute Henry Kissinger for his many contributions to peace and security.” That led to a standing ovation from the committee members and audience that drowned out Code Pink.”
      Sure Shultz is a globalist and a tool, and sure Kissinger is a major criminal, but still Shultz demonstrated old school red pill power by stating his convictions and supporting a friend.

  5. Never apologize to women – even if you are clearly in the wrong, you respond by saying: “Errors have been made.”
    With men there is more leeway, but as you have aptly noted – in most circumstances we rather respect someone more if he acknowledges it and intends to improve.

    1. Haha yes. “Mistakes were made”, my personal favorite go-to “apology”. Politicians, those clever linguistic manipulators and masters of fallacious frame control.

    2. I dunno. I view it more as a question of internal frame. If I make a mistake, I admit it. If I hurt someone – if their feelings are hurt – or if they are in pain, like grieving the loss of a loved one, I have no problem saying “I’m sorry”.
      The problem is when “I’m sorry” is used as appeasement. A frank admission of guilt is one thing; trying to get someone else to like you again is another.

      1. There is a thin line between manners and appeasement and its up each individual to figure out where he stands. Would you rather be too respectful and seem weak to some or be too wreckless and seem inconsiderate? In the today’s society the latter seems to be the best option, even though many men, like myself, have no problem being “too polite”. Insecure men feel like their masculinity is on the line in every little situation.

      2. I think you truly need to apologize for every album that’s come out after Cliff’s death. 😉

    3. It also has to do with tone. I have no problem with saying “Excuse me”, because I say it in a forceful way. If you say it in a plaintive way, you can almost feel the disgust rising in the back of people’s throats.
      If you say “Errors have been made”, say it in a facetious tone. It’s like, okay, you want an apology, here it is. Now shut up.
      If you say it sincerely, doesn’t it sound like weasel words?

      1. Agreed. When I say “excuse me” moving through a busy public space, it’s not a passive request (as if I’m about to wait for them to reject or accept my intentions).
        It’s a cautionary statement; if you cannot spare me two seconds to allow my passing by, I am prepared to force my way through.

    4. Woman: “Well I’M sorry too, because you always (blah blah) and you never (blah blah), oh boo hoo hoo…”

    5. I think it’s going to take some time (and practice) for many men to get out of this bad habit. Apologies are thrown out so often and so easily, today (usually by men) because of the programming that many have been under for years.
      You should always reserve that phrase for the rarest of circumstances (or else it loses it’s meaning). I, too, have noticed how many women stop saying the phrase (especially to men) because they’ve been programmed that it means “I’m wrong”.
      We all know how women hate to be wrong.

    6. That’s absolutely right. If you don’t posture yourself somewhat, the woman will take the opportunity to crush you if you ever say you’re sorry.

  6. Yes, but “the remedy” is not so much about how and when you should say sorry but rather to learn to teach “the ladies” to say sorry.
    Turn the tables already!

  7. Good article.
    The expected apology is the ultimate shit test in the corporate world. And yes, it’s women who demand it. Men know that the word is being devalued beyond recognition.
    I’d rather fucking fired than say that word

  8. Unrelated. This video is pretty good satire of obsessive political correctedness.

    My favourite part – “No! The terrorists will win.”

    1. I just read an article on Toronto, it was rated “best city in the world”. Congrats man lol

      1. Here is the Top Ten Best Cities to Live In the World according to the Economist.
        1) Toronto
        2) Montreal
        3) Stockholm
        4) Amsterdam
        5) San Francisco
        6) Melbourne
        7) Zurich
        8) Washington, D.C.
        9) Sydney
        10) Chicago
        The editor must have been sick that day or something.
        The article should have been titled “Top Ten Best Cities to Live IF You’re a Fat Bitch.”
        If you read the article they don’t take into account a lot of really important things. An obvious huge flaw is the weather… Toronto and Montreal (Montreal is a beautiful city btw) should not be at the top of the list simply for the fact that the weather is below freezing for 6 months out of the year. In fact it is -30 degrees Celsius outside right now. I could go on and on but I wont…
        That article pissed me off actually lol.

        1. “Top Ten Best Cities to Live In the World…”
          If you’re a feminist, a mangina, gay, or a hipster. Or some combination.

        2. It’s a great city to live in if you’re female because the entire city is geared towards making life comfortable for you and reaffirming your self worth.
          Another flaw is the housing prices, which have ballooned over the past ten years beyond the reach of much of the population.

        3. There are a few lists out there with total different outcomes. A Mercer survey, from 2014, says:
          1. Vienna, Austria
          2. Zurich, Switzerland
          3. Auckland, New Zealand
          4. Munich, Germany
          5. Vancouver, Canada
          I´ve been to all these places and I have to say that I would only disagree with Vancouver..because it´s a shitty place.
          Lowest ranked city was Baghdad.

        4. I haven’t yet fully wrapped my head around how the real-estate became so unreasonably expensive here. When you consider the poverty rate and generally low-wages it doesn’t even make sense.

        5. The economist is just trying to appeal to the blue-pill universe.
          Different cities are going to be great for different reasons. I can’t say what is the best all-around city kuz I haven’t been everywhere, but I pray to God it is not Toronto.
          For example, of all the cities I’ve visited I’d say Brugge had the best beer and the best architecture with half-decent nightlife.
          Tel-Aviv had the greatest nightlife and the most physically attractive women per capita that I’ve seen (lots of tourists too).
          Montreal has a wonderful carpe diem kinda vibe where people of different ages hang out together.
          But if you’re a fat bitch… Get your ass to Toronto.

        6. guys turn on the Bowl pregame if you have the chance. That flamboyant ice skater is for some reason on of the cohosts…rhinestone studded under eye strips and rhinestone studded beret shaped like a football. unreal….

        7. global banking system, and globalism in general. there is your answer.

        8. If you are Joe Beta, sitting by yourself in your overpriced condo, having just masturbated into a napkin on a Saturday night, you read the article and think, “I know things are all right!”
          The article is another way for blue pill to control the discussion, manage the talking points. To keep the betas in these hell holes so that they can wife up career girl when she turns 38 and graduates with a Masters in Gender Studies.
          As a general rule, if there is a strong middle class, the city sucks for women.

        9. Ten years ago you could buy a condo under construction and flip it before completion to make a profit …
          I almost invested in one myself.

        10. And yet there’s Hyde Park, where inevitably some chick will take me home … [shrug]
          The numbers favour men there — there’s a surplus of women.

        11. Those are some of the WORST/depressing cities to live in. There are cities in Latin America far better, way hotter girls, better climate etc

        12. Washington D.C. on the list? That alone qualifies the list as a practical joke.
          Yeah folks, go move to one of the highest crime rate cities in these united States. No, really, it’s so cool. You’ll love your personalized muggings.

        13. The list sponsored by zoloft- call your dr for a free 30 day sample today!!

        14. I have the dubious honor of living in what Tom Leykis called Porkland, the other white meat (Portland Oregon).

        15. It wasn’t until a few months ago that discovered Montreal’s popularity among the manosphere.. It peaked my curiosity, as it’s only a long day’s drive from where I live in Pennsylvania, but now I have to wait at least 4 more months before the weather becomes tolerable there. If it really is a hidden gem, an old fashioned European city in North America as everyone says, it may be my new summer destination for weekend trips.

        16. Don’t go there expecting women to jump on your dick as soon as you land there or you’ll be disappointed obviously.
          But it is a city that still has some flavour to it.
          When I visited I stayed in the downtown core in the summer and coming from Tdot it left me with some strong impressions. During the day there was great patio and cafe culture.
          But what really shocked me was that the women would look at me and smile… When I went I wasn’t on a pussy-slaying mission so I didn’t get any action but it was just such a nice feeling to have random women be nice to me.
          Me and a buddy checked out a bazaar selling foreign clothes and I tried on these funny pants for the fuck of it and these two babes looked over to me and giggled and smiled…
          It totally caught me off guard that two sexy chicks just spontaneously started a fun interaction with me during the day. That honestly never ever happens to me. I didn’t look any different than the people there so I don’t think it was the foreign factor, I think they were just honestly cool.

        17. Sometimes the causes of these things are very difficult to put a finger on. I did my first 5 semesters of college at a school called Grove City College. It’s one of the last true conservative schools in the U.S… one thing that will astonish you is how many young college women will smile at you and say hello. They weren’t used to being constantly hit on by thirsty men. I transferred to a state school closer to home so that I could pursue an internship, and the women at this school were far more mainstream. At this school, any time you walk by an attractive woman, you ain’t getting shit. Not a smile, no eye contact, nothing. Even if there’s not another soul in sight, she’ll purposefully look down at her phone just to avoid any possibility of such interaction… Ironically, she’s much more likely to be dressed as a slut than the ladies at Grove City.
          Likewise, it’s amazing how one city could be so culturally different and welcoming than it’s fellow city just a few hundred miles to the west.

        18. The south and west sides have some of the worst neighborhoods in North America. Not only that, but all the friendly residents of those fine communities have to do is ride the el so they can commit mayhem in trendy neighborhoods like Lake View, Lincoln Park, and Wicker Park. In one recent summer the North Avenue Beach was closed due to “heat” when actually marauding gang bangers were terrorizing the area. I don’t know how many times there have been “wilding” type incidents on the Magnificent Mile. So really any part of the city of Chicago can become a no-go zone in a flash mob minute.

    2. Love this skit, seen it a while back. CollegeHumor has some really good red-pill skits…
      A few of my personal favorites:
      –The Modern Ho–

      –Liberal Arts Degrees–


      –Modern Marketing–

  9. Once you say you’re sorry, she knows she owns your balls and will be draining someone else’s.
    If you’re really in the wrong, just say offhandedly that you fucked up and hey, sometimes it happens. But keep the frame and let her know you’re the leader. If you don’t acknowledge real mistakes, at least for some of the time, people will lose all trust in you.

    1. Once you say you’re sorry, she knows she owns your balls and will be draining someone else’s.
      I’ll borrow this one!

    2. Absolutely. I chose not to write about gender-specific apologies, but your second paragraph is exactly how I believe the matter should be approached.
      Establish and maintain leadership with women (even if you have made a mistake, as you have noted), and acknowledge your mistakes when it comes to your family or other men.

  10. I’ve noticed this a lot in the past few years. It’s immature and feminine. As such, it is an attempt to manipulate indirectly.
    A true masculine apology contains several elements: 1. before saying anything, put a halt to the behavior, 2. sincere regret, 3. taking responsibility, 4. expressing the regret, and finally 4. atoning for the offense and ultimately seeking forgiveness. If you don’t really feel and do all of these elements, it isn’t an apology. In which case, don’t pretend to apologize. If you’re honest with people, you are not responsible for their feelings.
    “Sorry” isn’t a magic word, “please” is.

    1. The key here is “you are not responsible for their feelings.” Most of what women want men to apologize for is how they feel. Once I was walking down a crowded city sidewalk with my wife. There were many very attractive women. My wife said it made her feel bad when I looked at other women. I told her she should get over that or get used to feeling bad. (I meant every word of that.) I followed up with, I am a man and men look at attractive women. This was the end of that conversation.

  11. Most boys are raised by single mothers without a masculine man around, that is why most are into IPAD 24/7 and can’t hold a conversation! They grow confused, lacks job training, and beta.

    1. According the U.S. Census data, only 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 are living with single parents, so “most boys” are not raised by single mothers.

      1. Wrong, especially considering the fact single mothers most often get awarded with solo custody.

        1. Your source supports my claim. According to your source, 26.3% (or about 1 in 4) of children under the age of 21 live with one parent while another lives outside of the household. Not “most” children.

        2. Your claim is not gender-specific, while various comments in this site alone gave links about single moms that get SOLE custody.

        3. Even if ALL of the children under 21 who live with one parent live with their mothers, it’s still not “most boys.” According to your source, most children still live with both parents.

  12. It’s interesting that linguists have done studies finding that the phrase “I’m sorry,” means different things to different groups of people. American men tend to assume “I’m sorry” is an admission of fault, blameworthiness, and weakness. British and Canadian men and women, as well as American women, interpret the phrase “I’m sorry” as a recognition that something bad has happened to the other person–an expression of empathy rather than an admission of fault (think of how it’s a frequent response to finding out that someone has lost a loved one–no one means “I’m at fault for the death of your mother,” when they say “I’m sorry” in this context).
    Once I learned about the findings of these linguists, this understanding actually helped my LTR a lot–I used to be really reluctant to say “I’m sorry” to my girlfriend because I didn’t think I was at fault or blameworthy. I thought she was asking me to admit “I’m wrong and you’re right!” which is how I viewed it–an admission of weakness. As you can imagine, we fought about this a lot. She would say, “I don’t understand why you just can’t apologize!” and I would respond, “I didn’t do anything wrong–it’s not my fault my boss asked me to stay late and dinner got cold!”
    Now I understand that those fights were the result of two ships passing in the night–I didn’t want to admit blameworthiness, but she was just asking me to acknowledge that something inconvenient or annoying had happened to her. Of course she’d be upset if she interprets my refusal to say “I’m sorry” as me refusing to acknowledge that it was inconvenient for her schedule to change/me to drop and break a plate/my mother to say something hurtful to her. Now I say it more to her because I understand her interpretation and don’t mind acknowledging that bad things have happened to her even if I’m not at fault.
    This understanding has also helped with female coworkers–I am fine acknowledging inconveniences in words that make sense to them. With my American male coworkers, boss, and friends, however, I try to remember that “I’m sorry” will be seen as an admission of guilt or fault, and I avoid it unless I am actually willing to admit guilt or fault.

    1. “I didn’t want to admit blameworthiness, but she was just asking me to acknowledge that something inconvenient or annoying had happened to her.”
      The fuck do you have to acknowledge that something inconvenient or annoying had happened to her? Does she occupy some sort of Heisenbergian Uncertainty Universe where nothing pisses her off unless an observer is around to say so? Is she really that fucking fragile that the smallest inconvenience is worthy of note? Does she really lack that much self-confidence? Death of a fucking parent or sibling I could understand, but how exactly did it inconvenience her schedule that your dinner got fucking cold? You were the one inconvenienced, not her!
      By the way, an acknowledgment something bad happened to another person is not empathy. That’s sympathy. Different thing entirely.

      1. “…how exactly did it inconvenience her schedule that your dinner got fucking cold? You were the one inconvenienced, not her!”
        Our dinner got cold because she was waiting for me to get home from work. It was one instance used as an example–there are many times when my actions unintentionally impact others negatively.
        To pretend that my actions have no impact on the people who are in my life, including my girlfriend, would be naive. It costs me nothing to acknowledge she was inconvenienced, and she feels validated. It avoids a fight and makes her feel that I care about her, which I do. I don’t want her to be inconvenienced or frustrated, but when it’s inevitable and my acknowledging her small hurt makes it better, why wouldn’t I? Again, it costs me nothing to do so.
        “By the way, an acknowledgment something bad happened to another person is not empathy. That’s sympathy. Different thing entirely.”
        It’s perceived as empathy. Whether or not the person saying “sorry” genuinely imagines himself in the inconvenienced position of the other is, I suppose, dependent on the individual apologizing.

        1. “It costs me nothing to acknowledge she was inconvenienced, and she feels validated.”
          Then you are actually enabling her stagnation as an individual. Most people don’t need external validation past about the age of 21 or so. Children depend on it because they don’t have sufficient self-esteem to contend with internal validation. You are pandering to her and not treating her as a mature adult when you do this sort of thing.
          ” It avoids a fight and makes her feel that I care about her, which I do.”
          Jesus H. Christ, are you listening to yourself? You’re so scared of having a disagreement with her you’d rather just pander to her ego, heighten her misconceptions about how infuckingsignificant her problem really was? Fuck me, mate, I’d instruct you to chop off your penis but it’s apparent she’s already done it for you.

        2. If a friend has a bad day and I say, “That sucks, man,” in response, I’m not enabling his stagnation as an individual. If he had a bad day and told me about it and I responded by saying, “It wasn’t actually bad,” it would cause unnecessary and unproductive conflict. If women hear “I’m sorry,” as “That sucks, man,” I have no problem saying it. I’m not sure why this concept is so objectionable to you. You certainly don’t have to follow the advice in my original comment–I was just sharing the findings of linguists and my own experience. I’m not scared of fighting with my girlfriend, but if I can reduce fighting, improve my relationship, make my girlfriend feel more bonded to me, and not sacrifice any dignity or do something I don’t want to do…where’s the logic in NOT apologizing?

        3. “If a friend has a bad day and I say, “That sucks, man,” in response, I’m not enabling his stagnation as an individual.”
          Stop shifting ground. You don’t say “That sucks, man” to your girlfriend, you say “I’m sorry”. Pandering to someone by treating every minor pissy inconvenience in their life as something worthy of note or empathy is, indeed, stunting their emotional growth. Shitty parents do this sort of thing all the time and are rightly criticised by psychologists when they do.
          “where’s the logic in NOT apologizing?”
          Because an apology by definition means you did something wrong. Which you fucking didn’t. Trying to redefine it as “I know I’m not wrong, but I’ll say I am because of how it makes her feel” is the sort of horseshit on which domestic violence against men — and women — is founded: on emotional abuse and a constant campaign to make you think you’re in the wrong and at fault when you’re not.
          If she’s that oversensitive and emotionally immature she’s going to start a fucking fight over that pissy and insignificant a topic then you have a big problem picking girlfriends. You aren’t offering empathy, you are responding to implicit blackmail any time you offer an apology just to forestall an argument.
          Her emotional state is not your fault or your responsibility. She sure as fuck won’t think yours is either her fault or her responsibility; she will simply tell you to “man up”. Which is fine – so long as she’s prepared to take what she dishes out. Expect her to function as a fucking adult, or find one who does.

        4. “Because an apology by definition means you did something wrong.”
          Here’s where we disagree, and neither of us is going to convince the other. Language evolves, and linguists have found that your limited definition of “I’m sorry” as an admission of fault is not the only functional definition of the phrase anymore. British and Canadian men, as well as American women, can hear “I’m sorry” as an acknowledgement of harm without the acceptance of blame.
          I posted about the evolution of this phrase because other men might find it useful to know and potentially use, as I did. I’m not sure where your vitriol is coming from, and I won’t bother responding to your unfounded assumptions and assertions about my relationship. Good luck with things, man.

        5. Reread my whole post again, man. You’re either on the cusp of being in an abusive relationship or you’ve already succumbed to it and are rationalising your own behaviour by resort to unquantifiable linguistics. It doesn’t matter what the phrase means to British or Canadian men, or American women, because you’re none of them. The fact you’re not willing to even talk about it suggests pretty clearly I’ve hit a nerve. Go and get some help. Believe it or not, domestic violence does happen to men and there is no shame in admitting that it does – particularly to law enforcement.

        6. Because I say, “I’m sorry, babe, that sucks,” sometimes when my girlfriend is upset or annoyed, I’m in an abusive relationship…Nope. It makes her feel better, is usually accompanied by a hug which frequently leads to sex, and she does and says the same back to me when I’m upset. I cannot wrap my mind around how you’ve twisted this into her abusing me.

        7. You can’t wrap your mind around it because you are enabling the abuse against yourself. Self-deception on the part of the victim is pretty common in domestic violence scenarios.

    1. Thanks a lot, asshole. I only watched about a minute of it and now I need to go get drunk to purge that shit from my brain.

      1. Thanks a lot, asshole. I only watched about a minute of it and now I need to go get drunk to purge that shit from my brain.

        I’m s-sorry.

        1. Well that’s because she’s independent, and she reminded you of it every five feet. Much more effective than actually just showing you instead, of course. To Hell with the whole “Some things are meant to be seen, not heard” bit!

        2. Her soldier sweetheart looks like he’s still in the Boy Scouts. Lois have a thing for jailbait?

        3. I want to show great work opportunity… three to five hours of work daily… Weekly paycheck… Bonus opportunities…Payscale of $6k to $9k /a month… Just few hours of your free time, any kind of computer, elementary understanding of web and stable connection is what is required…Get informed$ more about it by visiting my profile>page

    1. This is beginning to make sense to me, this cartoon. Here I am wondering that if the reason women get so worked up about rape is because they get nothing out of it.
      If a rapist tossed some pennies her way after violating her would it still be a violation? Would she be happy(er)? If the hoards of women on campus making rape allegations were given some candy would they still have made those allegations?
      I have to question women’s motives

        1. 1. I agree
          2. I don’t give a shit if she’s butt-ass naked, that still DOES NOT give you the right to rape her. If you have no self restraint like a bloody animal and think with your dick/vagina as opposed with your intelligence and compassion, you deserve all the jail time you get, it is not someone’s fault they got raped just because they dressed a certain way.
          3.That does not make any sense, rape is sex without consent so i don’t see how they dick in vagina versus dick in asshole has to do with anything at all.
          4. I’m assuming you’re a man, because you probably don’t know how painful it is to have sex with someone who is violently shoving your dick in and out of your vagina. Rape causes physiological trauma in both males and females, scars them for life and leaves them with crippling mental issues, panic attacks, nightmares, trust problems for the rest of your life. Sure it isn’t as bad as being murdered but still a fucking HORRIBLE thing to have to got through that can most definitely ruin your life.
          6. we hate rape because men use our bodies like objects that they own for their pleasure and we aren’t even human enough to be worthy enough to give consent, but a thousand times worse it is such painful and traumatizing experience. first of all we are bound, duct-taped and probably in a dark alleyway or the back of a minivan so it already begins of as uncomfortable, then we FUCKING HAVE OUR VAGINAL TEARED OPEN WITH SOME GUY FORCEFULLY JAMMING HIS COCK INTO OUR VAGINA. Sex is painful enough when the guy is being patient loving and careful, what the holy fuck do you think a guy who is in no rush to ensure our comfort as well as his but only releave his sexual pleasure is going to feel like? fucking bloody murder, that’s what
          7. first of all if this statistic is from third world countries women get killed for reporting this kind of thing and even in first world countries the society usually blames the girl for getting raped saying it as her fault so she is never taken seriously enough to have her issues claimed.
          8. NO, because they rapist put their victim through torturous amounts of suffering casuing many mental illnesses like depression and panic attacks,and took advantage of their body like it as theirs WITHOUT THE VICTIMS’S CONSENT, a prostitute usually receives some sort of pleasure no matter how minimal it is and they allowed the person to touch their body.
          10. i would rather be a virgin, lonely and single forever than be subjected to the pain and suffering and mental trauma rape brings comes with. that’s like asking someone would you rather go forever without your first kiss, or get beaten to a bloody pulp and your first kiss somehow is so bad it gives you a mental illness and daily panic atacks. what mental trauma does a rapist have to go through? if he was so repulsed by the girl he was dating he surly could of got a more attractive one? he raped her because he wanted to have sex with her, not because he was forced to unlike the woman. your logic is flawed.

        how would you like it if some old sweaty fat hairy chick/man followed you around for hours, verbally and physically abused you, drugged you, and kidnapped you, bound your wrists and covered your mouth with duct tape only to slide onto you/in you in an extremely violent Aggressive painful way. OF FUCKING COURSE WOMEN/MEN ARE UPSET ABOUT RAPE IN EMOTIONALLY SCARS THEM FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.SOME PEOPLE ARE BARELY ABLE TO GO OUTSIDE/ TRUST PEOPLE AGAIN AND HAVE HORRIFYING NIGHTMARES ABOUT IT EVERY DAY, AND HAVE TO GO TO EXTENSIVE THERAPY TO HELP THEM RECOVER FROM THEIR FREQUENT PANIC ATTACKS. RAPE RUINS THEIR LIVES

    2. 100% agree. BUT… you can use an apology to your advantage in these two situations:
      1. (I said this in another thread just recently, but anyway…) you’re hitting on a chick, you make your move and she pulls away ’cause she’s shy or whatever. You say, sorry [beat] actually, I’m not.
      2. (This happened to me when I was 18 walking with a group of people I’d only just met) This girl accidentally stepped on the back of my sandals and this is how the conversation went verbatum:
      Her: Sorry.
      Me: No, no, it was my fault [beat] entirely.
      Her: LOL, you’ve got a unique sense of humour.
      No, I didn’t fuck her, didn’t have game then, still a virgin; but looking back, could have.

        1. It was what it was, can apply it to any situation where the girl is clumsy. Not saying this is killer game, I’m just saying you can pretty much use any line to your advantage if you deliver it well.

    3. i HOPE your referring to that picture as a joke because if your being serious, rape is not only something you should apologize for, but spend jail time for (I also fail to see how a woman can manipulate a man into raping her).
      Also men can make mistakes just as much women can, we’re all human so regardless of whether your female or male if you have done something wrong in a relationship, you should apologize, it does not in no way make you a beta male if you have admitted to doing something wronglike i said above. Also, men can be just as emotionally abusive as women if not more, in fact since MOST women tend to be more sensitive and emotionally vulnerable due to our nature, it is usually men who are convicted of mentally abusing their partner in toxic relationships without them realizing it because they grow up in a society and around ignorant assholes like you that teach them doing so is just another part of being “manly”.
      Also, when does society not tell men to be manly,if anything it is the opposite? Everywhere, in billboards, movies, adds etc. it is emphasized in media that you have to be tough and masculine to have your thoughts and opinions be taken seriously, and society highlights the damaging stereotype that more soft heated and submissive men aren’t real men, which is not the case at all and this article does not do anything to help this common misconception, sticking labels on them like ‘beta”. Of course, if you are a naturally inherently manly man, there is nothing wrong with that, you just keep being you, but you don’t have to be manly to be a man.

  13. Now that I think about it, I tend to say “I’m sorry” when I’m blocking someone’s path on the sidewalk or in a store, after they’ve said “excuse me”. It’s just a simple reply to acknowledge that I heard them and that I’ll move out of their way.
    What’s a more appropriate masculine reply to someone that says “excuse me” when I’m in their way? Should I instead say “I understand I was in your way, next time I will not get your way”?

    1. Or say “absolutely.” back to them looking straight in the eyes with a partial smile. Remember to step aside and let them pass.

    2. “It’s just a simple reply to acknowledge that I heard them and that I’ll move out of their way.”
      Or, you can simply move out of their way, which will acknowledge that you heard them. If you prefer to respond verbally, I would suggest what others here have suggested:
      “Of course.”

  14. There’s certain situations an apologybis warranted but most apologies in today’s society arn’t necessarily. In the Wests PC feminized society men an expected to apologize for just about everything.

  15. I’ve very consciously made an effort to abolish “sorry” from my speech. One thing you’ll notice is most women have quit saying they’re sorry as well, because they just aren’t, even when they’ve made conscious decisions that they probably should apologize for.

    1. Rationalization Hamster 101. If she can convince herself that she is not in the wrong, she will feel no need to apologize.
      When it comes to removing “sorry” from one’s vocabulary, the most important goal is awareness of when one does use this word. I believe that it is a bad habit to break out of, which will inevitably take time. Best of luck to you on your endeavor!

  16. With my own wife I no longer say sorry for something that I may have done that is egregious. Instead I say ” I own up to _____ and I realize this has caused_____ . In the future I will work to make sure this doesn’t happen”
    I also make sure to only use this sparingly- only when truly warranted

  17. In DC a few months ago- A guy at the back of the bus wanted to be let out of the door at the stop. To get the driver’s attention so that he would open the door he just stood in the doorway and repeated, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” to the bus driver.
    Sorry for what? Typical shitlib hipster.

  18. This is kinda beta, but I honestly stopped caring about what people think over a decade ago.
    My girlfriend at the time (2002) used to gib me whenever I said I was sorry. It went like this.
    Me: I’m sorry.
    Her: Yeah you ARE sorry.
    I should actually call and thank her one of these days. I went from a soft pushover to…well let’s just say I walked out on her mid-stroke because I was tired of her. Poor girl. Not sorry though.

  19. All men need to eliminate “I’m sorry” from their vocabularies right now.
    Use “excuse me” instead or use a response as exampled under “The Remedy” heading.

    1. Depends on the context. If you accidentally physically harm somebody or do something really, really stupid then sorry directly to the affected parties is not uncalled for. But otherwise, yeah, the generic “sorry” for simply navigating down the sidewalk or doing other trivial things really needs to disappear.

  20. I totally agree ,never say you’re sorry for being a man! In truth its women who should say their sorry to us!

  21. You apologize to family/blood relatives or to your closest inner circle if need be, and sometimes to the person who cuts your paychecks if need be.
    Everybody else gets an “Excuse me!” as a general rule (walking down the aisle in a movie theater or in-between two talking in a public place are perfect examples), or if you’re in a nightclub or some other environment where lots of classless people proliferate you can say “My bad!” to fit in and bring it down to their level. If you’re feeling assholish you can say “Whoops!” in the most sarcastic tone you can whip up.
    Oh and with women, assuming you aren’t married (I have no advice for you at that juncture other than to play with rattlesnakes and hope to get bit and end your life right quick!) “Whoops!” applies more often than not or simply say “Okay.” as stone-faced and emotionless as possible. You can always convince yourself she didn’t give a fuck about you to start, is talking to a handful of other guys anyway or if not is actively shopping for the fabled “Bigger Better Deal” they way they all do.

  22. I stopped saying sorry for almost anything about a year ago. I have noticed the response from familiar acquaintances has been that they cannot predict what I will say in a social situation when criticized, and I think the air of mystery is helping me out. These same people seem to happily accept whatever I will say in place of the reflexive “sorry” that used to come out.

    1. Very interesting observation. If you would, please expound upon your statement, “I think the air of mystery is helping me out.”

      1. When people don’t know what to expect because you say something besides what’s socially expected, people listen. A lot of people talk just to hear someone agree with what they have to say. Disrupt their expectations. I think it’s the same reason why asshole game works. You don’t let someone just use their natural language filters. It also shows confidence when you unapologetically stick to your guns.

  23. Some cultures apologize for everything. Having lived in Japan for a long time, I came back with an inherent need to see say “sorry” about everything. It got on people’s nerves in the US. I wouldn’t even realized how much I was doing it until people pointed it out.
    It wasn’t that I felt sorry. It’s just the culture of “sumimasen” rubs off on you. I think it leads to a culture clash between Japanese and westerners. As Westerners view apologizing as weakness so when they see Japanese apologize all the time for things that weren’t even their fault they think they’re weak.
    It’s more complicated than that. The “I’m sorry” is simply a mannerism. It’s like a “thank you” or an “excuse me”. But everyone knows you aren’t accepting the blame. No one ever gets 100 % of the blame in Japan.
    It’s a little ridiculous how far they go on the “you have a little blame” too. Your car could be parked in your space at the very back of the lot, perfectly in the lines, when another car comes careening in and smashes into it. Your still 10% at fault. Why? You just are. They’ll find a reason.
    It leads to real problems when Japanese drive in western countries and get into an accident. The first thing they do is say “I’m sorry” which translates in western countries as taking all the blame.
    But constant apologizing can be more nuanced in certain countries. I’d say it’s not a sign of weakness in Japan as much as it’s just a custom in a high-context society.

    1. Great insight! Of course, I wrote this article with Western societies in mind. It is interesting to learn about the Japanese ‘sorry’ culture, too.

  24. A lot of manuals on hw to negotiate emphasized “I’m sorry.”. Books like “Getting to Yes.”. These books were typically written by experienced successful businessmen in the 1970s and 1980s.
    The advice to liberally apologize was good back then. You could disarm the other negotiator with a meaningless concession and avoid an alpha male pissing contest.
    It’s bad advice now. The reason is women. If women get any sense that you are “sorry” (another word for loser), they will treat you with contempt. The best business advice now is to maintain your frame no matter what.

  25. “Over time, this passive individual may gain a reputation as the guy who helps everyone. Once this has occurred, he will be even further compelled to make others’ lives easier, and thus will dig himself into a near-inescapable tomb, where he will wallow in self-pity and curse his inability to say “no.” The one who fears displeasing others will always end up displeasing himself.”
    Wow. How utterly profound. This used to be me. I was raised with the wheaties strength dosage of blue pill mentality by my mother, who regarded me as a social experiment in how to raise a child that displeased its chauvinist father in every which way possible. In that regard, she succeeded.
    It took years of abuse from this kind of submissive mentality before i finally disconnected myself from the feminatrix, thanks in no small part to sites like ROK.
    I could fill a book from the years of beta bs i had to endure under opportunistic females, including the fallout that ensued because of it, until i finally reached a zen sense of self that allows me to see Women for what they were, not for what i imagined they “should be”
    Welcome to the real word.

    1. Glad to hear your successful transformation! It’s always nice to see someone come to the realization of what things “are” and not what they “should be.”

  26. Saying sorry is a sign of weakness – just call their bluff. ” If you don’t like it…”

  27. Wow, a qualitative, informative article on ROK that isn’t loaded with political posturing. Congratulations and thanks, Ben.

  28. In the Marine Corps, we don’t say, “I’m sorry.” We shut up and fix it. Sorry is often used in lieu of decisive action, as though the apology will correct the mistake. I only ever made Corporal, but even as an E-4, I could not possibly care less about whether one of my Marines was sorry. This reminds me of another phrase which I despise, which is, “I meant to, …” Meaning to do something never did anything.

  29. men can make mistakes just as much women can, we’re all human so regardless of whether your female or male if you have done something wrong in a relationship, you should apologize, it does not in no way make you a beta male if you have admitted to doing something wronglike i said above. Also, men can be just as emotionally abusive as women if not more, in fact since MOST women tend to be more sensitive and emotionally vulnerable due to our nature, it is usually men who are convicted of mentally abusing their partner in toxic relationships without them realizing it because they grow up in a society and around ignorant assholes like you that teach them doing so is just another part of being “manly”.

  30. When I read this article, a flashback similar to the video clip below played in my head but instead of “would you kindly” it was all the times I’ve recently used “sorry” for no reason other than to be overly polite. The article put it in real context of the general use of the word and how you view a person saying it. Truly gave me the proverbial kick in the arse so I can drop the bad habit!

  31. There are two connotations of “sorry”. There is the man version and the woman version and you can’t mix them up without causing mischief. Men say “sorry” when they make a mistake and take responsibility to own that mistake and – hopefully – never let it happen again. The female version of “sorry” means that you empathize with their pain.

  32. このサイトバカだっ!バカでしかないぞっ!みんな最低だっ!どっか消えろっ!いい人の前から消えるんだっ!

  33. 何なんだよお前ら!なんでこんなバカバカしいこと言うんだよ!存在しない方がよさそうだなっ!

  34. if you fuck up, just apologize. It’s not a big deal, don’t be a dickhead, just say sorry.

  35. Whenever you get the urge to say ‘sorry’, say ‘fuck you’ instead.
    Works in every situation.

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