Having Trouble Managing Your Relationships? You Only Need These 3 Categories

If you are an ambitious person by nature, you will most probably realize at some point that your relationships, just like your life, need to be managed effectively in order to get the most out of them. Unfortunately most people fail to invest in this area and most commonly end up experiencing feelings of dissatisfaction and regret.

These feelings usually originate from our attempt to view the world from a more utopian angle, hoping that things will work out alone. Sadly, once we realize that we have barely evolved from our primitive ancestors, only then do we start to pay more attention to the importance of management.

In my attempt to get into the nuts and bolts of how to do it effectively, I decided to divide the people who surround us into three main categories; the party people, the partners, and the followers.

Although you should take my advice here with a grain of salt, this categorization wasn’t a result of some momentary epiphany. It is mainly a result of years of social interactions and experiments and is also influenced by the opinions of well-known and respected psychologists and philosophers.

The purpose of this categorization is not to create stereotypes and discrimination among your relationships, but rather to give you a better understanding of behavioral dynamics and how you should use them to get the most out of your relationships.

1. The Party People


These are people in your environment who can be great assets when it comes to social gatherings. They are usually extroverted by nature and can easily adapt to dynamic and high-energy environments. If you are an introverted character, those people can help you discover your extroverted edge and also help you create new acquaintances. If you are an extroverted character, these people can supplement you in a great way and also boost your social value even more.

The caveat when it comes to party people is that their management requires extra attention when you want to keep them around you for a long time. They are usually people who seek validation and will most probably demand from you to reach their energy levels in order to get along with them.

There are usually three ways to successfully manage them:

  • Give them validation in small amounts so they can keep coming back for it.
  • Don’t stay too close to them and avoid speaking about personal matters that have no relation to the party environment.
  • If you feel comfortable with meeting new people, introduce them to each other and also use a churn-approach when the fun you used to have with them is being jeopardized.

2. The Partners


These are people who you can build a strong emotional connection with. This connection usually comes from sharing common beliefs, values and ideas. They can become great romantic partners, business partners or intellectual partners and you can experience mutual benefit when it comes to emotional and intellectual activities.

The success of your relationship is founded upon the ideas of respect, loyalty, and understanding. If these ideas are not present, a partnership can never flourish and grow. Both you and them need to be constantly aware their presence and actively communicate it through your words and actions.

It is also crucial to understand that if your relationship with them branches out to the other two categories, you are flirting with the idea of imbalance. Partying with them, although it is an option, could lead to you questioning your relationship with them.

3. The Followers


These are people who admire you a lot and believe that they can be positively influenced by your presence. Although we have the bad habit of associating the word “follower” with something negative, we need to realize that we all are or were followers at some point in our lives. So the idea of a follower is great if you are conscious about the help you can provide.

From your perspective, a follower is a person that respects you a lot and looks up to you, thus helping you boost your confidence and increase your value as a person. From his perspective, the interaction with you can help him solve some personal problems and also put him in the right track for further growth.

Followers can become partners at some point, depending on how well you can evaluate your relationship with them, but in order for this to be accomplished both of you need to become aware of it and move from a follower-leader to a leader-leader approach in your relationship.

Although the three categories are open to further analysis, in a more surface level, they are the only categorization you need.

It is always up to you how and why you will decide to manage your relationships, but in the end of the day the famous African proverb makes a bit more sense:

“If you want to go fast go alone. If you want to go far go with others.”

Read More: The Hypocritical Discrimination Of Relationships Between Young Women And Mature Men

48 thoughts on “Having Trouble Managing Your Relationships? You Only Need These 3 Categories”

  1. Really good article. You nailed the “Party People” description. They are often toxic people to be around outside of their intended purposes. I’ve cut more than a few loose for that reason.

    1. Bingo. Some people dismiss party friends based on their personalities/habits. The more savvy person however knows how to use the party person to his advantage – short meetings that are used to expand connections. Going over this line though, as you mention, is a major no-no.

      1. Very, very true. I have a few “party friends” and they are always fantastic at introducing me to other men who may well not be “party types”. One “party friend” I have is notoriously awful at conducting his own affairs (messes up a lot of shit) but gets so many Party Plus checkmarks right (He’s 56 and dating a 26 year old, life of the party, seems to have connections for a lot of….things…you’d like for a party, etc), yet he’s been responsible for introducing me to at least three people with whom I’ve become good friends over time.
        Party people are very useful for that and are actually quite fun to be around in small, limited time length doses.
        Not the kind you invite to dinner, unless dinner consists of three martinis before hitting the club.

        1. A friend of mine used to say, “have short, positive, periodic” interactions with people. This I think is especially true for party friends.

        2. I like when dinner consists of three martinis. But I’d rather go to an old fashioned bar after instead of the “club.”

  2. Need to choose the photos for serious articles better. All I could think about was one long, hot summers night of complete alcoholic and sexual self destruction with the slutty chicks in the photo.
    but hey, that might just be me.

    1. Thanks for bringing this up. The photos are decided by the editor. I need to inform Roosh, to work on a more aesthetically pleasing approach when it comes to image picking.

  3. “Party People” are often parasitic. They hang around as long as the pickings are easy. They’re useful because “fun” helps cultivate customers, entertain employees, and build relationships. They’re a hoot to have lunch with.
    But they have their limits; for instance, letting them get too close to technical issues is pure poison. I once went to a presentation at a prospective supplier, to find a dozen high-energy people waiting for me around their boardroom table. The next hour was a disaster because not one of them could answer my questions about the hardware or software.
    So, include them to sell and build connection, and to celebrate and put a positive glow on the business experience. But otherwise, keep them out of the way or they’ll waste your time, over-promise, and generally find a way to screw things up.

  4. You forgot to mention society-wreckers and usury scammers aka ‘jews'(satanists).
    I expect many comments to the contrary from Mossad and the brainwashed, but it doesn’t change the truth, everyone knows, and one day you guys will be hunted down before spending your remaining time with your lover, Satan.

    1. Why is the Internet full of losers who blame the Jews for all their failures in life?
      I see he recommended his own post too.

        1. Notice the feminine shaming tactic:
          “Why is the Internet full of losers who blame the Jews for all their failures in life?”
          sounds a lot like :
          “Why is the Internet full of losers who blame WOMEN for all their failures in life?”

        2. Is this your Waterloo moment?
          Face it, the Manosphere, for all the good articles that come out of it, has a bizarre fascination with conspiracy theories.
          It will be its undoing in end?

        3. It coincides, but I would go a step further to state that it’s just stupid shaming tactic. These bitches (males & females) should start learning logic and reasoning on FACTS not fairytales.

        4. Please read history, the uncut, hard to find, burried under the ground kind, that everyone you know will only wisper about.

        5. Sorry pal. If you think the Jews or the Catholics or the lizard people are behind every bomb, crash or thunderstorm in the world, then you’re beyond help.
          You shouldn’t be on self-improvement sites

        6. Obviously you’re one of the lizzard people. I’ve seen your kind at last year’s Basement Thanks Giving.
          Remember the family selfie?

        7. There are few internet groups that do not entertain at least some degree of conspiracy theory enthusiasts. Makes sense given as conspiracy theories abound for *any* situation where bad, or even “too good”, results are bound to occur. That basically covers most of life in general, really.

        8. How exactly does a similarity prove a point? Oh, look, this banana and this tennis ball are both yellow, they must be the same kind…
          Anyway, sexism (against men and women), racism and antisemitism follow the same psychological patterns (projection). All three of them are monocausal explanation systems that blame one group for all evil in the world. It gets really funny when they intervene. For example: „Jews created the feminist cultural marxist movement which is now executed by indian women.“
          Even though associating one thing with another because of a superficial similarity is wrong, in this case you were accidentally right. They have more in common. Therefore, it isn’t very surprising that a) the responses to it are alike and b) many sexists are also racists and anti-Semites, like many, many RoK users.
          Have a nice day.

        9. Stating that jews have been influental in shaping the West, for good or bad, in the 20th Century, is not reducible to a monocausal explanation. Things are far more complicated than that.
          This does however not entail that they are not a causal factor at all. Its all a question of applying the right amount of causality, backed up with the right facts.
          I dont really see what your point is regarding jews creating the cultural marxist movement. It is a fact that they created cultural marxism. That indians, Blacks, Whites or feminists are applying cultural marxism in various domains, does not change this fact.

        10. There really are conspiracies but they’re not what you think. Unfortunately I’m not at liberty to tell you what they really are and who’s really behind them. The usual conspiracy theories are mistakes or red herrings except in some cases.

        11. Good call, I love reading the articles and comments on this site whether I agree with them or not, but I see way too much of this conspiracy nonsense going around, not to mention religious dribble and straight up neo nazi bullshit. This site is supposed to be about self improvement, not blaming the Jews, blacks, illuminati or aliens because your life isn’t going where you want it to. taking initiative and becoming a self made success story regardless of the hurdles is the best way to stick it to whatever group you think is oppressing you.

      1. The problem is when some group or organization becomes the sole explanation for all societal problems.
        When that is said jewish elites have played a major role in forming culture, politics and economics in the modern western World.
        A couple of years ago I came to this conclusion after having read Kevin McDonalds trilogy on judaism. And this author is actually a professor with solid credentials. So no alternative voodoo conspiracy theory at Work here.
        He is offcourse referring mainly to jewish Financial and intellectual elites promoting their own Groups interests. What he Refers to as a Group evolutionary strategy, which in the case of jews display highly ethnocentric traits. Its based on the theory of evolutionary psychology.
        I dont know if this is really a conspiracy. Its probably more likely is a bunch of separate Groups working towards some of the same ends, making sure policy and culture is in accord with their own collective interests. It is really not reducible to the Protocols of the elders of Zion or similar (alleged) forgeries.
        When all this is said, this however does not entail that jews are behind all problems in society. They might be influential, but they are not superhuman.
        And it offcourse its not an excuse for neglecting your personal responsibility to selfimprove your life, and making the best of the cards you have been dealt.

        1. “When all this is said, this however does not entail that jews are behind all problems in society. They might be influential, but they are not superhuman.”
          This 100%. They are part of the problem, but far from the biggest one.

  5. Could have added some more categories but a good article. I find hanging out with party people too much can be a problem as lots of them arn’t really the type you can build a close friendship coz they arn’t trustworthy even though they can be fun, but mayby that’s just my experience.

  6. The party people:
    “Party people” (as opposed to those who merely like to party) are fucking losers. The worst kind of losers imaginable.
    They have one gear – getting fucked up. Some may hold down reasonable jobs but all their money goes on designer clothes, alcohol and drugs.
    Even if they have kids their priorities are so skewed they’ll forget to buy food and pay bills. Their houses (when they’re not crashing at a friend’s place) resemble the girls Av8tor was writing about last week. Dumps full of dirty clothes and dishes, and toilets encrusted in weeks’ old shit.
    These people are shallow, one-dimensional parasites. Have a bit of fun with them on the few hours a month or year your paths cross. But do not trust them, do not fraternise with them outside the party scene, and when you’re done with partying completely, remove any trace of their existence out of your life completely.
    There you go. Some serious Red Pill Wisdom. Free of charge.

  7. Good article, I immediately could find most of the people around me in those categories!
    I miss one thing though:
    “we all are or were followers at some point in our lives”
    What about the people you are a follower of, what do we call those? Role models? Maybe even mentors?
    I realise that the more “alpha” you become, the less of those people will be there for you, since you will become their partner (or enemy) as you grow personally, but just because we want to achieve a (unachievable) situation in wich there is noone above us, doesn’t mean that we should neglect those people in this model.

    1. “Being alpha” is a useful metaphor, but some guys get carried away with it. With wolves, the alpha is the leader of the only hierarchy that exists, the pack. Humans, though, exist in multiple hierarchies simultaneously, and your position in each one can be different.
      For example, a guy might be the president of his own company. But, if he starts taking karate classes, then he enters the dojo as the low man on the totem pole, and would learn best by acting accordingly and listening to his sensei.
      Some guys seem to avoid learning new things and going outside of their comfort zones, and maybe it’s an attempt at preserving “alpha” status. This, in turn, keeps those men from self-improvement.
      It might sound weirdly mystic, but being “alpha” means accepting that sometimes you’re not.

      1. Very insightful post, and it’s refreshing to see a degree of intellectual nuance starting to take rise.

  8. I love the format of ROK articles.
    I like the listings. I’m all about headers and subheading paragraphs. Shit reads fluid and clear.

  9. poignant article!
    i most related to the ‘follower’ description (although i’m the leader in this story i’m about to share). i have a friend right now who may be the single most blue-beta guy i’ve ever met in my life.
    i have known him for 10+ years. he was the valedictorian in my school (which may have you thinking ‘alpha!’ but in reality this book-smart guy was just conditioned from a very young age to do exactly as the teachers wanted or else he would be punished/in-trouble). now we work in the same field and he is absolutely clueless. he never takes a day off of work, is easily taken-advantage of by his lumberg-type colleagues, is burning out with neck/back issues, can’t sleep due to stress, and can barely make ends meet as he focuses 100% on the negative of every situation. he never makes approaches and never mentions girls (or sexuality of any kind)… ever! he doesn’t drink, never lies to advance himself in any way (even little white lies)… hell i rarely hear him swear! anyhow, shit hit the fan for him within a year of graduation when his grandparents AND father died in the matter of a few months (all living under one-roof, old-school italian style. we both are americans living in america though fyi). so i mean, he feels pretty beaten-down you know? his pros are he is a kind, compassionate person, and a loyal friend. he also has no ex-wife and no kids (both of which would have been additional ‘cons’ given his current situation).
    i have introduced him to ROK and he enjoys reading the articles passively but doesn’t seem to put the advice into action. he lives vicariously through me calling me ‘the man!’ when i score a bang or get paid a bonus at work etc.
    any suggestions on what else i can do to help my friend? one answer might be ‘cut ties with this loser,’ but… he’s my friend and i’ll tell ya… he really helped me out during school so i feel he deserves my attention as much as i can help him! maybe i’ve just transitioned my white-knighting from women to this particular friend of mine! anyhow, i’d appreciate any advice/suggestions from the ROK community!

  10. I would also add “The Inner Circle” which should be a group of two to four friends that you can rely upon for solid advice and to hear out even your craziest ideas with a serious mindset.

  11. Great article. A longer, more nuanced article with more anecdotal evidence and sources would be nice, too. This is a great jumping off point; however, more detail would be useful as well.

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