3 Essential Cooking Tools For A Man

If my first article on dog training didn’t clue you in, I’m not one to write red pill critiques of modern society or takedowns of post 3rd wave feminism. I’m “basic.” I live my life trying to squeeze the most fun out of it. Consequently, I have a bunch of hobbies and one of my favorites is cooking. It’s a great hobby for those who like entertaining. It’s practical and you get to eat healthy and delicious food.

All men should know how to cook. Long gone are the days of Suzie Homemaker having a roast with all the fixings waiting for her man when he gets home from the office. For those of us who don’t have nightly meals prepared by a traditional Russian dime-piece, we have to fend for ourselves every now and then.

Speaking of dime-pieces, let’s not forget that a delicious meal is and will always be a great panty access tool. Girls and delicious food—what more does a man need in life?

Hopefully this and future articles will help bring your cooking to a new level. To get started, the following are three items that I consider essential to a truly masculine cook.

1. Dutch Oven

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Good enough for cowboys, good enough for me.

The Dutch oven is by far my favorite cooking accessory. Life does not get better than sitting around a campfire after a long day of fishing or hiking with the aroma of slow cooked meat and vegetables wafting under your nose.

A Dutch oven is a thick-walled cooking pot with a tight fitting lid. Traditionally, they are made of cast iron, but can be made of other materials like ceramic. You can even find light-weight aluminum models for backpacking. For over-the-fire cooking, you will need cast iron. They are thick, sturdy, and the iron retains heat well. Aluminum gets too hot too fast and unless you are hyper-vigilant, you will burn your food. Dutch ovens come in different sizes which allow for stacked cooking of multiple dishes.

Dutch ovens are highly versatile instruments capable of cooking like a stovetop or, like its namesake, baking and roasting like an oven. Their lids are typically concave on the underside, allowing you to use it on coals as a griddle. Additionally, their large size allows you to cook for a group of people and make you the hit of the campground.

Lodge is the most prominent producer of Dutch ovens and the industry standard. Go to any Dutch oven cooking competition and everybody will be cooking with a stack of Lodges. An 8-quart size, which is a whole lot of oven, costs $80 on Amazon. If you just want to make try recipes at home in your oven consider shelling out for a ceramic Le Creuset oven.

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The stacked method of cooking with Dutch ovens.

I was lucky enough to get a custom cast MACA before they went out of business. MACA was a Utah-based foundry that began casting furnace linings. Recognizing the similarities in shape to Dutch ovens, they added feet the linings and began making Dutch ovens. MACAs are thicker than Lodges so heat slower and retain heat longer, therefore reducing burning. If you can find one on eBay or craigslist, they are well worth the investment.

The sky is the limit when it comes to recipes. One of my favorites is a simple and delicious roast. Place the oven over hot coals and sear a piece of seasoned meat, add your favorite vegetables, put the lid on and move the coals (either store bought or from the fire) to a 1/3 underneath-2/3 on the lid combination. A can of cream of mushroom soup added halfway through cooking mixes with the drippings to produce a creamy gravy.

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A Dutch oven is meat’s best friend.

After a hard night of drinking whiskey and singing campfire songs, a simple breakfast casserole is sure to make you the most popular man at camp. Cook your favorite breakfast meat over direct heat (I like a mixture of diced bacon and kielbasa). Add onions, peppers and whatever other vegetables you have lying around and cook until tender. Add diced bread, shredded cheese and enough beaten egg to coat. Don’t forget seasoning. Switch the coals to the 1/3 under-2/3 over combination until cooked through.

2. Cast Iron Pan

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Your typical lightweight non-stick pans just doesn’t cook the same as cast iron.

The key to cast iron is seasoning the metal correctly (and keeping it seasoned). If you are using a new pan or Dutch oven, scrub the factory applied protective wax off with soapy water, dry and coat with a thin layer of oil. I like avocado oil due to its high smoke point, but generic canola oil will work too.

Place upside down in a 450-500 degree oven with foil underneath to catch any drips and bake for 30 minutes. Now that your iron is seasoned, try to wash it with just hot water and a cloth. Use mild soap (not detergent) if you really mess it up. The more fatty foods you cook in it, the more it will get seasoned. Try to avoid acidic foods like tomatoes when breaking in a new pan. If it starts looking dry, rusty, or beat up, re-season as above.

3. Meat Grinder

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Keeping it old school with a tin-plated grinder.

Is there a more quintessential American food than the hamburger? I love them. Call me old fashioned, but I like my burger to come from a single animal. I am also not a fan of eating pink slime ammonia or picking up a case of Mad Cow Disease. The solution to these problems is to grind your own meat.

As there is almost always some cut of meat on sale below the price of prepackaged ground beef, it is also a price-conscious meal. Grinding your own meat gives you burgers that taste like beef, not freezer-burned fat scraps. If you are being health conscious, go pick up a turkey breast for $2 less a pound than that pack of Jennie-O with unknown origins and make homemade turkey burgers. Also, if you ever plan on hunting, a meat grinder is essential for processing game.

I never had luck with specialized electric grinders. My recommendations are either an old school hand-grinder or a Kitchenaid tilt head mixer and grinder attachment. Hand-grinders are cheap, durable, compact, and have that certain old school appeal. I have found that my arm can crank harder than a compact electric motor as well. A new grinder runs about $30 new at kitchen stores and supermarkets.

The downsides are a sore arm and the singular purpose. Due to the slow speed, after a few pounds of meat, hand-grinders often get fat wrapped around the blade and have to be cleaned before continuing. Putting cubed meat in the freezer for half an hour before grinding helps reduce this.

On the other hand, I have yet to find a piece of meat my Kitchenaid and grinder attachment can’t handle. It’s a beast with rpms that just spits out ground meat. I can put five pounds of fatty chuck through it without any build up around the blade. There is also a stuffing and extruding attachment available for sausage making.

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The investment is well worth the efficiency.

The downside is the expense, about $300 for the mixer and $50 for the grinder attachment. However, Kitchenaid makes quality machines that will last you many years. They also have the advantage of versatility of being a standing mixer. If you are grinding your own meat, you might as well pick up a dough hook and make your own whole wheat and flax meal buns while you are at it, right?

Read More: How To Cook Four Delicious Entrées 

232 thoughts on “3 Essential Cooking Tools For A Man”

  1. Another item every man should own is a crockpot. Not only are recipes easy to find and easy to make, it turns out some really good food for little hassle. Fill it up and plug it in before leaving for work and come home to a piping hot dinner ready to go. It is also great for dinner date night at your place.

    1. for the more technically-oriented man, a crock pot, foreman grill, and food processor (a good cuisenart or robot-coupe) fit the bill nicely.
      Never waste your money on Black and Decker or Hamilton Beach anything. seriously.
      But a crock pot is the perfect tool to make yourself scads of healthy, home-cooked meals without the trouble of spending hours fiddling with food, a neccessity in this fast-paced world. A good hearty stew, barbecued pulled pork, or tender roast beef can impress a date as much as chicken Marsala or Lobster Thermidor.

      1. My crockpot is just Crockpot brand. I’ve had it now for maybe 6-7 years and it works just fine.
        On the other hand my Hamilton Beach toaster is about just as old but barely works anymore…

        1. Hamilton Beach is the Emachine of cooking utensils. The very definition of cheap Chinese crap. It works badly one time, and then barely ever works again…
          let’s put it this way, it is so incredibly crappy that you can actually wipe off the logo and all the settings markers with formula 409 and a sponge. Try it if you don’t believe me.

      2. I also suggest getting rid of the aluminium pots and pans — I built up a collection of French enamel-coated iron pots and pans that will last well beyond my lifetime.
        The rumours about crazy aunts who made all of their meals in aluminium pots and pans aren’t really just rumours …

        1. Those frenchy enamel coated cast iron deals are the best (except when you are moving…ugh). I am working on building my collection of them and have 3 right now. I know Le Creuset is the brand everyone knows, but there is a lot of quality and value in less known brands like Le Cuistot Vieille or Fontignac,

        1. Good marsala is very difficult to make, you need to get the spices just right or you wind up with either a syrupy marinara or some crap you throw on dough and smother with cheese and pepperoni.

        2. Sounds more like a tikka masala. Marsala is a wine-based sauce you pour on as you finish your chicken to deglaze the pan.
          It can be as easy as reducing wine in the dregs of your chicken, with a dash of pepper and/or a splash of cream.

        1. When in doubt, always buy Cuisinart. There are better brands, but you are unlikely to find them on the market unless you are cruizing second hand stores… crock pots from the 60’s are just a thousand times better quality.

      3. I can’t second that loudly enough. I still know plenty of men who go apeshit over Black & Decker. 40 years ago they were the bomb, now it’s cheap junk.

        1. Moving your production to cheap labor countries has consequences.
          In this case, it’s Mexico at a minimum.
          Ever heard of Broyhill? They used to make furniture here in my county. Now the Broyhill plant is abandoned. The quality? Not what it was. the people who used to work there? Switched careers (Walmart or nursing), went on welfare/disability, retired, or turned to a life of crime (booming around here).
          Free trade makes us all losers in the end.
          Ross Perot was right.

        2. Yes, and my best friend’s dad is probably the #1 reason(Nolan Archibald). It’s kinda sad when you are social with someone that has no pride in their work.
          Rich kids disgust me sometime. Jason wrapped his brand-new mercedes around a tree on the whee way down in south potomac in… 88? On our way back from seminary in the early morning hours. Me and another guy were in it at the time… It was a grizzled tree that got hit a LOT (That’s why we called it the whee way, everyone used the road as a roller coaster).
          And Nolan just buys him another one. Just like that. “It’s a good car, no one got hurt” and Jason wraps it around the SAME TREE 3 weeks later (I wasn’t there that time). And Nolan buys him ANOTHER ONE.
          I cannot even imagine being rich from a product over which you have zero pride. When Nolan took over in the 80’s, B&D was the shit. today? It’s just shit.

        3. Yep. I was too young to know what he was talking about at the time, I just remember everyone calling him crazy. But, he was actually a prophet. Free trade only works in the short term for the more economically developed country. Everyone enjoys the cheap goods at first, but they never see its effects on the country long term.

      4. I would add a pressure cooker to the list too. You can knock out a fork tender pot roast in 45 minutes, or some fresh green beans & bacon/smoked sausage in about 12 minutes.
        I have been using one my entire adult life.

    2. A similar trick, in the form of a Chicken & Rice recipe:
      Simmer chicken (boned, deboned, doesn’t matter) in chicken stock for 1 hour. Turn off the heat, cover and let sit overnight. 30 minutes before your meal, bring back to simmer and add rice. Season to taste.
      In short, you can achieve a similar result to crockpots with a fraction of the electricity/gas/whatever, so long as you prepare well in advance.

    3. Or a casserole. Great for those cheap fatty cuts like lamb shank or beef ribs. When you’re done the meat just peels off the bone. Marvelous.
      This is the way ancient soldiers used to cook btw.

    4. crock-pot… ab-so-friggin-lutely. i use it a few times a month to make delicious stews which last for several meals. add some indian curry spices to some veggies and chopped-up chicken, throw them into the pot on low-heat… come back from work 10 hours later and i’m ready to gorge (with a side of basmati rice).

    5. Not that I disagree with the idea of the crockpot, but a good Dutch oven can serve the same function on a stove top. Learn to braise in a Dutch oven and that’s exactly what a crockpot is doing.

      1. I hear you. I own both. I just find the Crockpot easy to use because I plug it in when I am not home. I would not do the same with the dutch oven.

        1. I use my Dutch ovens pretty often when I’m at work. The difference is they need to be brought to a decent heat with a bit of added liquid before being set on the stove’s lowest heat and covered, but the crockpot is just set and forget. The crockpot is unquestionably more convenient and easier to clean.
          I just think the cheap-ass chef should invest in the Dutch oven first.

    6. Indeed. Started appreciating the wonders of the crockpot after getting into preparing bone broth & stews a while back.

    7. Definitely. A slow cooker allows you to cook some excellent meals with minimal effort. They also allow you to use tougher cuts that have much more flavor and are significantly less expensive.
      Tips for a good slow cooker: 1. electronic timer so you don’t have to worry about being back in time 2. a removeable insert for easy cleaning 3. ideally, an insert can also go on the stovetop so you can just brown meat in there without needing multiple pans. Browning cubes of meat prior to slow cooking adds significant flavor.
      A roasting pan with a rack for the oven is also a nice tool and very cheap. Throw some veggies in the bottom and do whole meals.

  2. You forgot a George Forman! ; ) The iron skillet’s #1 in my book. An informative, practical article. (And a welcome change-of-pace, too.)

    1. GF doesn’t do well with bone-in meats. Top notch for burgers, boneless chicken breast and steak. Great when you can’t have a BBQ.

  3. Good article, this is a welcome change of direction.
    Women need to be better in the kitchen too. It’s sammich time!

    1. Thanks. I also watched the do his laundry video. That’ s how my sister caught her hubby double dipping. He was such a slob and when she opened his gym bag to pull out the dirty gear, the t-shirt was still neatly folded and smelling of downey. So, he didn’t go to the gym.

      1. He was an idiot. My neighbor fucks his mistress after hitting the gym. Of course his hitting the gym is why he’s 190lbs, lean and fit, while his wife is 160lbs of lard. Hell, if she doesn’t think he’s got a tight piece of ass on the side she’s a moron.

    2. Surely we can do better than a sandwich. Get her to make something from scratch, not assembly.

  4. I use an old-fashioned crock pot instead of a dutch oven. Where I live, fire is a a constant hazard, so even grill-cooking is often looked upon with suspicion.
    It is not as versatile a tool, especially in the case of power outages, but otherwise it serves much the same purpose.

    1. Dutch ovens will brown food properly though. Crockpots are limited in their application…but I still have one.

      1. I am Irish.
        Crockpots ‘limited in application’ doesn’t apply to Irish cuisine. If we can’t suck it through a straw, it’s not properly cooked.

        1. so they just assume that all English cuisine has had the shit boiled out of it?
          That’s….surprisingly accurate, actually.

        2. Actually, it only takes a few distinctive dishes to create a ‘cuisine’, but most english dishes that have not been rejected out of hand by other cultures have been utterly integrated into european ‘standard fare’.
          In short, a ton of generic food in Europe has english roots. Virtually everything made from beef, many basic sausages, a ton of soups, and most ‘genuine American food’ has, at their roots, english cooking. What hasn’t, has been ‘specialized’ into the cuisine of other cultures.
          Salted or smoked ham, many types of sandwiches, most types of lamb, steaks, beef stew, pea soup, lentils (and all bean soups that come from it), vegetable soup in stock, fried squash, everything deep-fried, yeast bread, sweet desserts, cookies, and just about every kind of pie all have origins in english culinary traditions.
          http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/8102
          So it’s not so much an oxymoron as an industry standard in cooking. If you have ever eaten a hard boiled egg, stew, salad, cookie, ‘normal bread’, or a sandwich, you have probably eaten ‘english cuisine’ and never even realized it.
          A ton of cheese dishes, as well, are local adaptations of originally english dishes. As are most dishes that use onions, celery, and peppers (in french cuisine this is referred to as mirepoix, but the french dishes that make use of it are almost exclusively adaptations of recipes that originated around the channel)

        3. The staples were game meat, fish, bread, pastry and cheese. Yellow mustard is the only indigenous spice in England. From the high middle ages up to the Victorian era is when the cuisine really improved as they had a whole empire to draw on. But even Yorkshire pudding is from Burgundy, and fish and chips are Jewish/Belgian. Ketchup is Chinese, curry is Indian, etc. A lot of dishes have been redistributed to North America and Europe but what actually arose in England itself is pretty limited. As with the English language we stole most of the good stuff from somebody else.

  5. Skip the Lodge dutch oven (even though it’s made in USA). Spring for the ceramic coated cast iron dutch ovens from Le Creuset or Staub (made in France). Much easier to clean. No threat of rust, if handled improperly.
    But I heartily second the meat grinder suggestion, which is very under-appreciated.

  6. Love to cook – grab some recipes off of youtube and have fun. Also invest in a good solid chef’s knife. My latest toy is an electric pressure cooker – like a crock pot on steroids.

      1. Yeah don’t go cheap on a good knife set. You will just spend twice as much on them over the course of many years if you buy subpar sets. Just go for the good set the first time.

      2. Agree completely. I have only one knife that I use for absolutely everything, a Sun Muteki Series #158. I could not live or cook without it, and I have a custom leather sheath that I use to transport it.

        1. I have one of those. I found that it is very very important not to use automatic sharpeners or those weird ‘kitchen sharpeners’ on it. Nothing but a real whetstone and mineral oil can avoid wrecking the blits.

      3. And you should have “chopper one”: a big-ass meat cleaver. Henckels are probably the best consumer-grade knives out there. A friend of mine used to work in butcher supply and told me there are two or three tiers above that.

        1. Global looks pretty good. They run from $100 to $300 each if I tried to order one online here. You think it is worth it?

        2. Yes they are although you shouldn’t need to pay $300. I would go the for the regular short cooks knife. You can use it for everything. Cuts through everything like butter, including human flesh so don’t drop it on your foot. Easy to hone as well.

        3. When money is factored into the equation, I think Global makes the finest product on the market. I really like my Shuns. They are beautiful, hold an edge well, have great handles and, honestly, just look great in my kitchen but there is nothing I could do with them that I couldn’t do for 1/4 of the price with a global.

        4. My heart screams yes…but my wallet screams no. lol. At least in proper use knives of that calibre last for years.
          Hell, my grandma gave me her Henkels 10″ chef knife, about 40 years old, wooden handle and all. Still cuts like hell, despite being bowed on the blade edge from so many years of re-sharpening.

        1. Frankly, I’d rather own a good knife than a good gun. Fortunately, I have both… but I am a knife nut, not a gun nut.
          I only know my little M-1 Garand, and really don’t care about more than keeping it clean and supplied… I don’t know what the parts are called, or the difference between two types of other guns, and I really do not care that much.
          But knives, I make my own, and probably have hundreds from other manufacturers… admittedly I don’t forge them anymore (I buy blanks) since machine forging can leave you with a much better quality blade, and hand forging, once you know HOW, is kind of time consuming, but I love me a good knife.

        2. I am more of a sword nut. I own one of these among others. Not so useful in the kitchen but I can do a wicked Zorro-esque parlor trick with a banana.

        3. google video. There is an art to it. You run the saber up the side of the bottle and perfectly hit the cork. It is a big thing at fancy parties etc. I don’t know really how it is done, but I have seen video and it looks like one of those things that if you mastered it you would raise your bad ass level by at least 2 full points.

        4. heh, sca?
          Not so much of a sword nut since I see limited use for them, but I do have a couple of dozen of them. including the obligatory crappy flat wall sword that every fantasy idiot owns and the fake Katana.

        5. I was on my university fencing team. Only SCAed once. I have the infantry sabre, which is real and has an edge on it. An artillery sabre, German made for the Spanish Civil War which is authentic but is not sharp. A “Conan” sword and a Mongolian broad sword with tool steel blades. The fake katana and a few more. The wakizashi is ideal for home defense, lol.

        6. Ironically, more robbers seem to be worried about a crossbow or sword than about a gun. I am guessing a sword is more… intimidating.

        7. To be completely Honest? ‘MadebyBrian’. Brian being the smith in question.
          You can get blade blanks from anyplace, right now I am getting them from Utah Cutlery supply. I could tell you what to avoid, but blade blanks are pretty consistent from US steel.

        8. That football player, a famous NFL DB (Redskins) was killed during a home invasion.
          He was not allowed to own guns due to a DV conviction.
          Home invaded by thugs, he pulls a sword, they shoot him – like the scene in Indiana Jones.
          Nothing wrong with edged weapons, but never bring a knife to a gun fight.
          I choose a carbine with standard capacity magazines for home defense. I like the low recoil, accuracy, and 30 rounds to make sure.

      4. yes. The first real investment in my kitchen I made was great knives. I bought two Shun chef knives (I wanted two for when I was doing meat and veggies at the same time), a boning knife, a paring knife and a shorter than my chefs knife but still kind of long Japanese knife which I don’t remember. Got a decent wooden block to keep them in and a good cutting board. Never regretted that investment.

    1. Good knives are a must. I like Henkel. They last forever and hold an edge really well.
      A more cost conscious choice but still good knives are Chicago Cutlery.

  7. What you really need:
    1) a good set of sharp knives with a hand sharpener
    2) one set of stainless steel pots n pans
    3) proper cooking materials
    If you can cut it, you can prep it. YouTube a recipe if you have to do so. Don’t be afraid to experiment with recipes. Cooks do it all the time, and you can make awesome stuff playing around. Don’t experiment too much when trying to impress others, and follow the chef’s rule: taste it you wanker.
    Stainless steel can have steel wool used to clean the inevitable mistakes while learning. Can’t do that with Teflon. Cooking stones in the oven can be usefu, but aren’t necessary. After “seasoning”, they are dirt simple to clean, easier than cast iron. I still like my stainless steel for all around versatility.
    Don’t buy cheap shit to cook with. Ok, if you’re making a roast (or similar) it may be tempting to buy the cheapest cut of meat possible. Don’t. Cultivate a relationship with a butcher if you can. A real butcher is a godsend in the realm of cooking. Chicken, in particular but also turkey, is one of those meats where it really pays to spend that extra twenty-five cents a pound. You’ll get a smaller piece, costs add up, but it won’t be a saltwater injected (but hormone free!) piece of shit that dries out while cooking. When you’re buying herbs, buy fresh herbs. Shop every other day if you can, and eat fresh, but not scrubway fresh.
    Finally, take your damn time if trying to impress. Don’t cram it in a small time period, especially if you’re new to cooking. Cooking is your “soul” infused in food. Take time and care, and it’ll show in the way the food tastes.

    1. I disagree about the stainless steel.
      I use cast Iron or pottery where I can. Pottery implements are tougher to find, but they certainly make a difference in flavor. They require a lot more seasoning (and replacement) than cast iron, though.

      1. Personal choice. I find people can learn easier with stainless, and it doesn’t “hold” anything (flavors from previous dishes) either.

    2. Finding a good butcher is difficult but pays off. When I lived in Vancouver I had one and always got amazing steaks, chicken, ribs, the whole bit.

    1. since, you know, european descended humans lived on coconut oil for millions of years (snerk).
      animal fat FTW

        1. There is some town in western Canada that bills itself as the “rape capital”. They are re-thinking their motto.

        2. Tisdale, Saskatchewan. Nice town too.
          “The Land of Rape and Honey”
          This is because they used to be a massive producer of rape (canola) and bee spit.

    2. Coconut oil is not as useful for the initial seasoning, I’ve found. Because you’re going for a carbon coating, shitty-ass vegetable oils are better because they’ll smoke easy.

        1. REAL Olive oil has a really high temp. Most of the stuff you buy off the shelf (bertolli, kirkland, etc) is half cut with other oils, or just straight up flavoured veggie or corn oil.
          https://ca.shine.yahoo.com/blogs/shine-on/olive-oil-fraud-still-going-strong-canada-173427002.html
          It’s worldwide… apparently the Mafia has their hands in it as well.
          Good (real) olive oil is quite pricey… And hell you can taste the difference, whether it be from Spain, Italy, Greece, etc, all taste different.

    3. Coconut oil goes best in protein shakes because it still holds some sweet consistency unlike other oils that will make you barf when mixed with the other sweet consistwncies of a protein shake

  8. +1 on the Kitchenaid Stand Mixer. They are expensive but totally worth the price. If you want to save a few bucks when picking one up check the prices on Amazon regularly. I have seen them drop down to about 40% off. Also, think about buying the mixer at a store such as Macy’s or Bloomingdales using the extra percentage off coupons that can be found in your local paper. If you find the right sale, this will usually let you get one around 20-30% off retail.

    1. Also, if you have the patience, check around holiday time. I’ve seen them as the subject of good Black Friday deals.

      1. I love black friday. It’s one of the few situations where you can beat the crap out of a bunch of predatory, competitive women and people just nod understandingly.

  9. Robot-coupe cappucino maker. I got a floor model for 450 bucks at a hit it or quit it sale a few years back, but it’s outstanding, durable, and worth it’s cost.

  10. Agreed with the cast iron pan – it’s very flexible, and pretty darned non-stick if maintained properly. I’m actually re-seasoning mine right now; I let it get cruddy, then over-cleaned. I’m actually trying flaxseed oil for the re-seasoning – according to some research it’s a very “hard” oil so it creates a very durable coating, although it takes a few cycles to season properly.

  11. “If you are being health conscious, go pick up a turkey breast for $2 less a pound . . .”
    When will this just curl up and die already? Turkey isn’t “healthy.” It’s just low fat. And although about half the price of beef, also about half the nutrition. The healthiest thing you can eat is your beef cooked bleu.
    Which is the real reason to have your own grinder; ground is safest cooked bleu straight from the grinder. Beef spoils on the exposed surface and grinding it makes it pretty much all exposed surface.
    That and you can also toss that damned woodchuck that’s been rooting up your yard into the thing. My butcher will grind the beef I buy from him no extra charge, but I have to pay a fee if I bring in my own. On the other hand he makes the best wild game sausages in town.

    1. Incorrect. Beef is NOT that terrifically healthy for humans.
      woodchucks are. as are rabbits, fish, sheep, goats, pigs, eggs, bugs, doves, quail, ponies, and most game that is considerably smaller than ourselves.
      Beef, however, as with all game larger than deer, has a muscle structure that is not 100% compatible with human digestion. As we are genetically a scavenger we are CAPABLE of deriving nutrition from such meats when they are properly aged and/or cooked, but generally we require much larger amounts to derive nutrition with our not-quite-pure predator scavenger digestive system.
      Anyone that has cooked a ‘fresh’ steak knows quite well that without proper aging, beef is NOT very tasty and can actually make you a little queasy in the stomach.
      But the beef ranchers beat the sheep ranchers in the 1800’s, and thus beef it is. But the chicken and turkey farmers (with their barely edible mutant fowl) beating out the rabbit farmers is just pure tragedy… Rabbits and eggs are some of the best nutrition sources for humans, ever. Apparently they are game we are DESIGNED to eat. (at least for european-descended humans… who knows what the feck prehistoric mediterraneans and africans ate?)

      1. ” . . .most game that is considerably smaller than ourselves.”
        Until the advent of knives we were small game specialists, but the knives came about millions of years ago.
        “But the chicken and turkey farmers (with their barely edible mutant fowl) beating out the rabbit farmers is just pure tragedy… Rabbits and eggs are some of the best nutrition sources for humans, ever.”
        In that we are in agreement. About 20 years ago somebody actually tried to start a rabbit fast food chain, but the social acceptance was lacking. Guinea pig is also top notch, but social acceptability is even worse than for rabbit ’round these parts.
        “Apparently they are game we are DESIGNED to eat.”
        They’re about as close to a universal food as you can get. Damn near everything seems to be designed to eat rabbit and eggs. For that matter, it’s hard to discern what rabbit might have been designed for beyond being the universal lunch. And they have to be eaten as fast as possible to keep them from eating fucking everything else.

        1. Rabbit is tasty but not very PC. My sister tried guinea pig when she was in Peru. I had Cajun Alligator when I was in New Orleans. I want to try a nice snake dish. I am not much for mutton or goat. Here in China chicken breast is actually cheaper than chicken wings, and beef is expensive and hard to find. Your best bet is pork loin or ribs.

        2. Here in America chicken breast, per meat-pound, is dramatically cheaper than chicken wings as well… I blame the ‘buffalo wing fad’ for cranking up the price, you could, I guess, blame canton wings. (Or whatever the chinese call their marinated wings other than the american name)

        3. But a breast is all meat while wings are mostly bone and skin. Still the per pound cost is more for wings. On a “meat-pound” basis, if I understand what you are getting at, then yes I can see that. I dunno. I haven’t been in Canada for a year and a half and did not buy wings very often.

        4. actually, I just priced it out… boneless, skinless chicken breast is actually cheaper than wings, per-pound, as well.

        5. Outstanding. I hope they get here in time for supper, my girlfriend cooked me a crappy roast that I’d rather they eat.

        6. They are tasty, but they need to be consumed with side dishes. Trying to live off rabbit alone in a survival situation can be deadly. They can give you the trots something fierce if eaten as your sole food and dehydrate you to the point of death. The Injuns warned the early colonists about this, and they were right.
          More useles trivia I learned growing up, heh.

        7. It’s absolutely true. even predators eat the contents of the rabbit’s digestive systems.
          One of the biggest problems modern americans face is that they eat the worst part of the animal and ignore the healthiest bits.

      2. A lot of our cooking traditions come out of cultures that suffered from famine. Hence, why “unhealthy” animals are so popular. They provided more macronutrients, and thus help people fend of starvation better than lean wild game.

  12. Good recommendations. Cooking with iron is manly. All you really need is the iron dutch oven though, and know how to keep it well-seasoned. Anything you can do in the skillet you can do in the dutch oven.

    1. I inherited my grandmother’s cast iron, that was old 40 years ago. I didn’t know how old and I’ve been using it for 20 years.
      Still working great as ever. Upon cleaning and re-seasoning I saw the production date on an 8″ skillet: 1919.
      Made in the USA.

      1. I only had one recipe that you could actually cook in the micro and not have it turn out like shit. It was “Singapore Chicken” which was diced chicken breast, curry, bean sprouts, and fruit (pineapple or tangerine).

  13. One fact I’ve discovered is that women love it when a man cooks for them. They say the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but from my experience, it’s even truer for women. It also gives you a chance to invite a woman over to your place. It’s cheaper and more romantic too, and healthier because you control every aspect of the meal’s preparation. And when you’re finished, you’re already at your house, so you don’t have to ask her to come over.
    Never underestimate the usefulness of a decent toaster oven. Use it to broil some salmon and serve with a side of yellow rice and steamed asparagus, and you have a quick, easy meal that’s inexpensive and will impress any young lass you invite over. I also like to stir-fry chicken and vegetables on the stove. Make sure to include garlic and onion to get that mouth-watering smell that will entice her the minute she steps in through the door.

    1. Yeah it’s amazing. One girl offered to cook for me, but I said you make the salad and I’ll make the rest. She was floored…and well, showed me a great night! What was even more surprising…was how WILLINGLY she wanted to cook for me. To the point of making me lunches.

      1. I’ve only had one who was a better cook and she was studying hospitality management at university. There were a few who could hold their own but most realize when they are outmatched and resigned to their role as sous chef and pot washer.

    2. Cooking is a chick magnet. Plus, you guilt them into cleaning up after you, lol. Yes, much healthier.

        1. Oral sex + FPS = awesome. The doughnut is just a bonus. Make sure you glaze the doughnut and give her the other half to eat.

    3. Cooking for a chick also lets me ascertain the pain in the ass level associated with the chick.
      Chicken molé so weak that I thought it needed cayenne just to be edible turned out to be Way Too Hot for one particular Miss Muffett …
      She decided she’d show me how well she could cook by preparing a popular American dish known as “Poulet à la Crème de Champignon”, made possible with help from the Campbell’s Soup Company.
      The recipe, if memory serves me correctly, may be found on the label attached to the tin …

  14. In terms of tools, I agree with some of the other posts: Foreman grill and a slow cooker. Other than a high-end BBQ, the former is the best way to do steak, hamburgers and the like. With the latter, pack it full of ribs and sauce and let it go for 8 hours or so. It is to die for.
    .
    In terms of technique every man should understand “magic mix”. This is diced onions, tomato and green peppers in equal proportions. You can put it on or in anything: omelet, pizza, soup, salad, sandwiches, meat, whatever.
    .
    If you are dealing with kids, you never offer them “Thai-fusion satay skewers”. No, no, no. You make “peanut butter and jelly chicken”. Three parts peanut butter, one part strawberry jam, dash of soy sauce, chilli-garlic sauce to taste. Marinate diced chicken breast overnight. Put it on skewers and cook on the BBQ, oven or toaster oven, basting frequently. Serve on a bed of rice.

    1. the problem is that the ‘magic mix’, contains items that cook at 3 different speeds. Tomato cooks the fastest, onion is in the middle, and peppers take a long time to cook well.
      If you pre-cook it or put it in items that take a long time to cook, it works well, but in practice you have to add and cook the peppers first, then add the onions 5 minutes later, and then the tomatoes 5 minutes after that for a quick sear, or they all disintegrate.

  15. OT: Anyone see this nonsense on the website of the Wall Street Journal, by an alleged “sex educator” named Laura Berman?
    The Future of Sex: It Gets Better
    http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-future-of-sex-it-gets-better-1430104231
    You could read it as implicitly acknowledging the trend towards evicting more and more of the young men from the dating pool because young women find them “boring”:

    Currently sex aids are widely available, but the future is going to hold some truly edgy products. Futurists are predicting that—in just 10 to 15 years—there will be robots that will look and feel incredibly lifelike, robots with which you can cuddle and have sex. You will be able to design your perfect mate, complete with the right voice and the artificial intelligence to whisper those sweet nothings at exactly the right time.

    And,

    Meanwhile, our understanding of the neurobiology of sex will lead to a new ability to stimulate the brain directly to simulate mind-blowing sex regardless of physical contact. This will not only have endless recreational implications, but will significantly improve the sex lives of people with disabilities, as well.

    I think Berman relishes this futurist outcome because it will keep all the unbangable beta males and below from bothering the cool girls like her for dates and relationships.

    1. people have been droning on about chemically induced heaven for ages e.g. the hedonist project. Most of them were presumably druggies…and now sluts too. The problem for them is the internal economics, the relativity of human perception

      1. Drugs are a haven for wastoids and losers. Their legality is irrelevant. I suggest we legalize all drugs and let them kill themselves.

        1. legalise drugs (so druggies can kill themselves)? Guess that makes you a liberal. Peace and love

        2. Not at all. It just seems an easier solution than rounding them all up and executing them (although that solution has been used, successfully, in China)

        3. Exactly. The same reason I want to put a wall around Detroit, issue free handguns and ammunition to all comers, and remove all police presence.

        4. actually I’m not a great believer in violence for any group but I suppose its just karma..maybe a bit on the proactive side..

    2. Still gonna need the betas to program & fix these glorified toasters when they inevitably break down. Or are these strong wimminz gonna do that on their own? They’re all strong & independent when things are running smoothly.

  16. If you use cast iron make sure you know how to “season” it, which really just means “keep it from rusting.” Obviously, iron reacts with moisture in the air to produce rust. The way you keep this reaction from taking place is by keeping a layer of oil between the iron and the air. When you “season” cast iron you’re really just covering it with a thin layer of oil. This could be any kind of high temperature oil. Best to avoid Extra Virgin Olive Oil here as it will burn at common cooking temperatures. Go with vegetable oil, bacon fat, or regular olive oil (not the extra virgin kind).
    * Never wash cast iron in the sink, you’ll ruin the “seasoning.” Well-seasoned cast iron will appear black in color.
    * Use a course brush or a wooden spatula to gently loosen any food stuck to the inside of the cookware. Throw in a little bit of kosher salt, as this acts like an abrasive to help dislodge stuck-on food. Add your oil and wipe the cast iron clean.
    * Cast iron will remain hot long after you’ve removed it from the source of heat. Always be cautious when handling cast iron.
    * Avoid cooking foods that like to stick in cast iron. I would never make a frittata in a cast iron skillet.
    * Cast iron excels at searing foods. Perfect for searing meat and roasting potatoes.

    1. But they don’t heat evenly pr retain their temperature as well, That’s the point of cast Iron.
      It’s not about cooking quickly, it’s about cooking well.

  17. I cook almost exclusively with Cast Iron. As far as seasoning goes, the best thing to use is Lard. Applied correctly, it leaves a very even layer of seasoning with no sticky spots like you can get from using vegetable based oils or other types of animal fat.
    The grocery store stuff (Armour brand, sometimes labeled as “Manteca”) works great. You can typically find it on the ‘ethnic’ food aisle. A little bit goes a long way.

    1. goose grease works well, but I agree with manteca being the best. If you have properly seasoned your pan, I suggest heating it up on the stove for a few minutes every couple of weeks or so, to prevent it from getting dust or rancidity.
      Good lard shouldn’t go rancid when used as a seasoning, but Manteca adds stabilizers that can make it start to have an industrial smell if left unused for a while, which can communicate itself to your food.

  18. Every man should learn to cook.. but not just learn. He should learn to appreciate cooking, to love it. He should not be dependent on anyone for his sustenance, especially the fast food industry.
    My step mom taught me to look after myself from my teens, so that when I flew the coup I wasn’t helpless. When living on my own I developed a good repertoire of recipes which were tasty, nutritious, easy to prepare, and good value. I also learned the art of making meals which are (listen up you engineers!) scalable. That means it takes the same time (or a little more) to prepare 10 servings as it does 1. Bag and freeze, and you’re not slaving over a stove every day.
    Now I’m in a LTR, this is a skill I’ve carried on, and I’m the chef in our house. The missus cleans the bathroom.. good exchange if you ask me.
    If I might make an addition to this excellent article: Invest in a 10-liter stainless steel pot (with glass lid). It sounds obvious.. but being able to make 2 gallons of chicken soup, or pasta sauce, or jambalaya, or gumbo, or mariana… all in one go will make your culinary endeavors that much easier. My other suggestion is: Learn spices. They are your friends.

      1. hehehe.
        I really want to make a Tee shirt that has a picture of a dutch oven with bubbling stew in it, with the Logo “Legalize Pot” with a short beef stew recipe beneath it.

    1. or like a real man
      you could get your wife to do both…
      after all you are working to provide for her…
      wait you are most likely white, so most likely a stay at home dad…
      haha nvm

      1. Beta male detected, supporting a ho in exchange for trivial domestic duties is complete and utter nonsense. Maybe in rural China but not in any modern society.

        1. your the beta doing all the domestic duties for your partner…
          not Asian men who get to decide how their family is run…

        2. Like Chinese men who live under the yoke of their Dragon Lady? Like Japanese salarymen who work themselves to death and get an allowance from their wives so they can buy lunch and get shitfaced with the boss?
          A man should know how to cook for himself, once the skill is mastered it’s like any other skill, use it to your advantage whether it comes to making yourself a delicious meal or to get laid.

      2. You missed the point of jq747’s post. He was focusing on craftsmanship & self reliance not implied domestic divisions of labor.

  19. Men from Asia, worry about mastering their Jobs, earning an income, running businesses etc…
    Men from the west worry about domestic duties…

    1. Men from Asia also worry about earwax buildup and boogers. I’m in China and many of the men here grow out their pinky fingernails, but not for drugs, for grooming: they use the long fingernail to remove earwax, and also for nose-picking.

      1. It also comes in handy for waiters! when someone asks for salt or pepper they scoop it up with their pinky fingernail.

    2. That’s because asian men live in a human ant farm, and like all insects, hyperspecialize.
      If you like the idea of having no skills outside of your specialization, losing all creativity and innovation, and becoming a human insect, I strongly recommend moving to Asia.
      I recommend you stop worrying, though. if you have to worry about your job, or your cooking, you are doing something wrong.

      1. hahaha
        western men merely responding post the castration…
        get back in the kitchen, those from Asia have learn’t from your ancestors… men are to work to create a successful society
        not master the domestic arts to satisfy the feminists…

        1. I am not saying it’s a problem with asian men, I am saying that most asian culture is either so ancient, or so crowded, that there is very little room for individuality within it… why reinvent the wheel, even when making a new and better wheel makes you happy?
          Be careful though, culinary creation is the art of creativity, and that is a manly skill… it is no secret, or wonder, that the vast majority of professional master chefs are all men. this is true EVEN in Asian cultures.
          Take a look at your local noodle shops if you don’t believe me.
          There is nothing ‘natural’, or ‘masculine’, about going to a windowless cubicle for ten hours a day dressed in a suit and tie and repeating the same mindless makework over and over again for your master. You are not ‘creating a successful society’ with such labors, you are merely performing a weak sort of mindless drudgery.
          Real men can do anything a woman can do, only far, far better. ‘womans work’ means caring for very small children or performing any task where her lack of talent and creativity can be ignored. If you prefer to think of your food as not mattering, then yes, you let your woman do it.
          I do understand your frustration, though… It’s hard enough being a man WITHOUT a racial reputation for…

        2. I agree
          except this article was not about cooking as a career.
          men have to work, work is drudgery… and it is rewarding
          men are built to work
          no, women who care for their man cook for him, after he as worked hard all day, and if they care about their man and love being a woman, they would cook for the man…
          women do have intellect and creativity, and that is to be used in the domestic arena ( primarily not solely)
          only a weak man follows Sandberg advice and is the supporter ( the cook etc) in the relationship not the leader ( provider decision maker etc)
          and strong men attract strong women ( aka red pill women)
          but yeah agree, nothing wrong with learning to cook! but in a relationship is it really the guys priority?!

        3. if you re read the article, you will note that the writer was talking about cooking as a hobby.
          As far as daily cooking is concerned, if you work for yourself, set your own hours, and have the time, why would you trust a woman to prepare your food for you?
          I am the boss in my house, I am self-employed, and I do the shopping and cooking. I quite enjoy it, as I take my food very very seriously. if My girls don’t like it, they can starve. This does not make me ‘unmanly’, and if ‘Asian men’ consider such pursuits unmanly, they can go fuck themselves.

        4. Yeah I also do most of the shopping. I sure as hell can pick out better produce. I leave the cooking mostly to her but I love the grill! Charcoal grill, none of that Hank Hill propane in the ass at my house! Let me sear some animal flesh over red hot coals and I’m a happy camper.

        5. Yeah, a lot of people don’t understand that whatever you cook with flavors the meat.
          If you can, try to use a wood fire in your grill or use ‘real’ charcoal, not that pressed and formed stuff with lighter fluid built in. It takes a couple of hours to get the fire right, but a kettle grill will burn it nicely, and your meat tastes enormously better without chemical overtones.
          I threw away any lighter fluid I had years ago. if I need a starter, I use newspaper, but real charcoal doesn’t have as much difficulty as that pressed crap.

      2. “If you like the idea of having no skills outside of your specialization, losing all creativity and innovation, and becoming a human insect, I strongly recommend moving to Asia.” ~ Shit! I thought you were describing the post-modern West.

    3. Spare us all. Cooking has always been a masculine art. All great chefs in the west were and are males. Poets and correspondents on the road during the Middle Ages would wax poetic about the cooking arts. And as a culture of hard hunters who would spend weeks in the field, or as soldiers who would spend years in the field, we developed most of our famous dishes, as men.
      Take your uncreative Asian pride back home to your Grass Eaters.

  20. “Girls and delicious food—what more does a man need in life?”
    This line is the true gem of the whole piece.
    Sexy food to look at and all the girls you can eat.

  21. There really needs to be an ROK discussion board. I got told to check my privilege yesterday and it really wound up being hilarious. We need a forum for us like minded people.

      1. I was mortified. I wasn’t expecting words like “cisgendered” and “herteronormative” to be coming out of an attractive girls mouth. Usually I can spot the believers and avoid. This one was like a secret agent. I did get off a great line though. In response to “what privilege” in a dismissive tone she said “what about the wage gap.” Knowing that I was done and that arguing with these things is a waste of time, i channeled my inner AC Slater. “Wage gap? I’m only interested in one gap mamma….the one between your legs.” Mortified she got up and stormed out. I felt really good all night. Sorry, just wanted to share.

        1. yuuup. That’s ok though. The small investment was totally worth the great line.

  22. Not being content with my teacher’s salary and gaming royalties, a friend and I have decided to open a restaurant here (Jinan, Shandong Province, China). Tomorrow we are having a “menu meeting” to figure out what the fare should be. We want it to be western-style, not too expensive (the clientele will be upper-middle class Chinese university students) and relatively idiot proof so the hired help doesn’t mess it up. She wants to start small with sandwiches, burgers, waffles, pasta and a breakfast menu. I want to do steak but the price point is all wrong. Pulled pork and ribs would be a possibility. I can also do some mean Mexican and wicked salads. I don’t want to get too fancy – like poached chicken with a wasabi hollandaise sauce – because it is too hard to teach everyone else how to cook it, and it is not clear that there would be a market for it. Sourcing the food can be a problem since Jinan is a second or third tier city. Beef is expensive and it is hard to find a decent hot dog without paying through the nose.
    .
    Any suggestions anyone has would be appreciated.

    1. I actually grew up in a restaurant, I have probably forgotten more about being a restaurateur than most people will ever know. And I have to admit, you got me stumped! Idiot proof is an OUTSTANDING idea. Restaurant work is HARD work and you WILL be surrounded by idiots who WILL fuck things up. Have you ever worked in the food industry before? Why are going into business with a woman? Is she a friend or a lover? Because if she is either she won’t be after a few months of working together/being business partners. Also, she’s right and you’re wrong. Start small dipshit! I say that with affection because I saw first hand what happened to my parents when they bit off more than they could chew. It is not a pretty sight watching your parents choke, or yourself for that matter.
      You are wanting to get fancy shmancy before the door is even opened. Have you ever worked in the food industry before? Stick with the KISS system, it rarely ever fails. Whatever you do, DON’T GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH YOUR BUSINESS. You MUST treat your business like a pimp treats one of his prostitutes, with NO emotional involvement. The minute you let what you want or desire start dictating how you run your business then you are traveling down a dead end street and I can just make out a sign up ahead which reads “Business Closed”. Have you ever worked in the food industry before?

      1. I have a degree in business but have not worked in the food industry. She is a friend and not a lover. Her English is excellent and her Chinese is flawless and I need a Chinese partner.
        .
        I agree on KISS and being somewhat mercenary about it. I used to have another business and I lost a good friend due to it. Step 1 is the menu. Step 2 will be equipment and food sourcing. Step 3 will be a full business plan. Step 4 will be location and government approvals.
        .
        I don’t expect to launch until fall at earliest or early next year.

        1. Dude, you mentioned beef being a problem to acquire and the price points aren’t there. That should be all the info you need. Both logistics and economics are against you. Let it go. I’m sorry if I’m an asshole but the blunt stone sharpens the blade.
          Let her set the prices, I have found that men try to be fair but women will bleed every last cent from customers with a smile on their face. Better for your bottom line. As for equipment costs, don’t buy everything you think you will need. Streamline everything and only purchase what is ABSOLUTELY necessary. I don’t know about China but in America everything is “supposed” to be approved by the government. I made the mistake of putting in a walk-in cooler BEFORE I got my inspections. Better to let them approve an empty space and after you have all the paper-work THEN put in what you want. I have found it is easier to get forgiveness than permission. The fine would probably be a lot less than the permits and inspections anyway.
          Also, take that degree in business, roll a spliff and smoke it. That is about all it’s good for, I speak from real world experience and not from opinion.

        2. Do an external & internal risk management assessment of your business (you may have already done so of course). Google Search for ‘PESTLE analysis’. Then go on to SWOT analysis. That might help you in organizing your info & figuring out how best to proceed.

        3. Steak is a no-go at this point. Some restaurants like Pizza Hut offer crappy little steaks for about ten bucks or less. Western restaurants offer up something higher quality for $30-$40 but I don’t think that will fly with the customer base we are looking at.
          .
          In your experience, what sort of mark-up are you looking at on the cost of the food? 100%? 200%? 300%?
          .
          I am actually pretty conservative business wise and don’t want to get in over my head. I would rather run the operation with small appliances rather than a full industrial kitchen until volume picks up.
          .
          The only government approval I am concerned about is the food safety inspection. Every restaurant has a big poster with ID cards and an A to C rating, and other information that I can’t read because it is in Chinese.

        4. “Hey what’s a bath without bubbles….?”
          “Hey Bubbles come over here will ya?”
          Spot Robert Downey Jnr…. he musta been in every ’80’s teen flick!

        5. PEST might be a bit much considering what we want to do. I have been SWOTing in my spare time but it will all have to go on paper in the summer when we lay out the full business plan.

        6. Well, hope it works out for you. I’m also noting that Senor Manlyballs above shared some valid reflection points.

        7. You want to run the business with small appliances until volume picks up? Shrewed move, I agree. As far as mark ups I really can’t say, whatever the market will bear. Wish I had a better answer. As far as the fare is concerned be sure you give the sheep what they bleat for. The most beautiful and artistic flower arrangement you have ever seen in your life won’t sell, the consumers want the FTD Smiley Face Mug. You want to take pride in your business and feed them the most mouth watering and delicious filet mignon they have ever wrapped their lips around. They want tomato soup and grilled cheese.
          I only caught one show of “The Profit” (don’t got cable don’t want it, saw it in a hotel room) but it was an episode about: http://www.inspiretheentrepreneur.com/2014/02/26/athans-motors-changes-name-automatch-usa-profit/
          My wife and I sat there entranced, everything this guy was telling the owner was true. What that guy learned from him in just a few days took my wife and I 4 YEARS to accumulate through trial and error and plain old observation and study. This guy at Athans Motors wanted his dream, not a business that generated hard cash. When The Profit got through with this poor bastard’s business it looked like a Pep Boys or AutoZone. BUT THAT’S WHAT SELLS!!! Watch any episodes of “The Profit” you can get. I think this guys breaks everything down into a no nonsense, emotionless, nuts and bolts, “Technique” that gets customers to buy what you are selling.
          Also, Shark Tank is fun to watch. Observing what people are PASSIONATE about and BELIEVE will sell, detached and devoid of any sound business logic, is very educational. When Mr. Wonderful is an asshole is when one usually learns the most about Real Business. I saw an episode about a tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwich shop that is now a franchise and is taking off. Never be afraid to copy or outright steal ideas from other businesses. There are no ethics in business, its’ take no prisoners, salt the earth, total fucking war! If you are to survive and profit anyway.
          Have you thought about copycats? What if your restaurant is a big success? The one thing I’ve learned in business is that if something starts to sell the Chinese will come out of the woodwork and start copying you. What if there are 3 or 4 of your type restaurant in your area shortly after you open or become popular? Is this a possibility? In business, competition truly is a sin. Hope this helps…

        8. I like food but I am doing this to build a nest egg for my retirement. My partner is young and there is no way she could afford to buy some real estate without thinking outside the box.
          .
          Depending on the menu, the Chinese might have a hard time replicating it. The one thing they can’t copy is me. Her boyfriend is Scottish, I am Canadian and there are not a lot of foreigners here in Jinan. Just having a white face around the place is a novelty in itself.
          .
          I took a course in business ethics. It is right up there with military intelligence and legal reasoning.
          .
          I might download some Dragon’s Den to get my head clear.

        9. Just a few more pointers although I do not know if they will apply there.
          1. Set up shop at a crossroads. With plenty of visibility.
          2. Your sign should be pretty straight forward. Your sign should not read RUTH’S CHRIS steakhouse -but- ruth’s chris STEAKHOUSE.
          3. It needs to be very convenient for people. Easy in, easy out. If they have to make a u-turn or you don’t have convenient parking or if they have to wait for longer than 2 minutes they WILL go somewhere else.
          Hope this helps.
          And I am sorry to inform you but I believe in the Hoonan Province they ARE cloning Scotsmen and Canuck’s. Beware!

        10. Thanks for the advice. Location and branding will come a bit later. Part of the menu issues will be stuff that can be put together quickly. The western-style restaurants I have eaten at here tend to be annoying slower than their Chinese food counterparts.

        11. What kind of “Western Food” is popular there? Who owns and runs the western-style restaurants you mentioned eating at? Westerners or Chinese? I am very curious.

        12. Setting aside fast food like Subway, McDonalds, Burger King and KFC there are pizza places (Pizza Hut, Papa John’s, Mister Pizza), steakhouses (but as I mentioned, the steaks are cheap) a South American BBQ and buffet, and then a few independent joints including a Belgian restaurant. Only the latter seems to be run by white people, the rest are all staffed with Chinese. One of the most awesome places is the all-you-can-eat buffet at the Sheraton Hotel but it’s a bit pricey at $50-$60 a head depending on the time and day of the week.
          .
          The fare kind of blurs together but steak, pizza, pasta, salad, soup, sandwiches, burgers, sausage, and some higher quality cuts of steak or lamb tend to be common.

        13. Totally cool! I had no idea that there was such a selection in China, especially where there are not that many Caucasians. The very best of luck to you in all your endeavors and keep me informed!

  23. Crock pot and a cast iron skillet is pretty much all you need to be a fantastic cook. Crock pots are so simple and versicle. The sky is the limit as to what you can cook in them. The cast iron skillet – I’ve cooked a variety of things in them, and what is nice about it is you can go from stove top to oven without any problems.

  24. As a former line cook, these are all good choices. The other ‘must have’ is a good chef’s knife. If you’ve got a little extra $$$, splurge on a Globe or Wusthoff and have it sharpened regularly. A shitty, dull knife that your mom gave you is not gonna cut it (excuse the pun) – you’re a grown man, cut like one.
    Also, I’d recommend having these ingredients on hand if you’re gonna cook regularly:
    – Sea salt
    – Black pepper grinder (use fresh black pepper)
    – A good bottle of olive oil (Whole Foods’ store brand is about $7 for a big bottle and is really nice).
    – Lemons
    – Start your own herb garden for rosemary, thyme, basil, and mint. These are really easy to maintain and this will save you lots of money when buying fresh herbs to cook with. Never use dry herbs – that’s for chumps.
    – Good UNSALTED butter. The reason why restaurant food always tastes better than yours? 1/2 the answer is butter.
    – Garlic
    – Yellow onion or shallots
    – Chicken stock (Roast a whole chicken and use the carcass to make a bunch of stock. You can put it in Tupperware and freeze it for later use.)
    Great Resources for the Home Cook:
    “How To Cook A Steak”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEx9gPhtjzs – According to a steakhouse chef friend, this is about the closest a home cook is gonna get to making restaurant quality steak.
    “How to Roast a Whole Fish”: http://www.nytimes.com/video/dining/100000000654829/wholefish.html – This looks so cool, is a very impressive feat, and one of the most delicious meals out there.
    “Roasting a Whole Chicken”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWLt6G85zC4 – Knowing how to roast a whole chicken is not only incredibly badass looking but it’s one of the finest meals available. Use the carcass to make chicken stock later.
    “How To Make Chicken Stock”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plz4JWEbchU – Chicken stock is going to help you make your own soups and pan sauces better than any shit you can buy at the store. Using the bones/carcass is fine – no need ot use actual meat. This is A Game shit.
    “How to Cook Everything” by Mark Bittman – http://www.amazon.com/Everything-Completely-Revised-Anniversary-Edition/dp/0764578650: This guy is the NY Times Food Editor and he is notorious for creating recipes that are delicious, simple, and easy to prepare. This book is indispensable.
    “America’s Test Kitchen Cookbook” – http://www.amazon.com/Americas-Kitchen-Cooking-School-Cookbook/dp/1936493527/ref=pd_sim_b_9?ie=UTF8&refRID=1N2CDJH21YBVKX1J3BZG: “ATK” is well-known for their scientific approach to cooking. When you prepare a recipe from an ATK cookbook, you know that you are getting the absolute best version of the recipe. Even professional cooks follow this book to the letter.
    “The Flavor Bible” – http://www.amazon.com/Flavor-Bible-Essential-Creativity-Imaginative-ebook/dp/B001FA0P86/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1430233724&sr=1-1&keywords=flavor+bible: This is my favorite cookbook ever. And, it’s not even a cookbook! Rather, it teaches you what flavors go well with other flavors. Once you’ve got the basics down – roasting, searing, vinagrettes, chopping, sauteing – dig into this book and you’ll learn to freestyle cook like a fucking pro.
    “How to Cook Like A Pro” by Anthony Bourdain. https://books.google.com/books?id=cocVLbFkgyQC&pg=PA75&lpg=PA75&dq=anthony+bourdain+HOW+TO+COOK+LIKE+THE+PROS&source=bl&ots=3xObUK_AVp&sig=iiiLlKsp9EDPRkGCDL_4gHk0sSU&hl=en&sa=X&ei=tKM_VbmPEYnVsAWgoIHADA&ved=0CB4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=anthony%20bourdain%20HOW%20TO%20COOK%20LIKE%20THE%20PROS&f=false. This is an essay from his “Kitchen Confidential” book. It builds off of what I’ve been talking about: the technique you should learn, the ingredients you should have on hand, the equipment you need to own, etc.

    1. Fuck yeah a pan cooked steak , imo, is THE BEST . Better than grilled cause it can just baste in its’ own juices.

    2. Salted butter man… that’s the secret! Where I come from (western celtic part of France) people are cooking with salted butter and that’s just making everything taste better (and you basically don’t have to add more salt). It’s especially good when you have to fry fish!
      Also, olive oil is nice but to fry in a frying pan I would recommend good quality rape oil instead. Using good olive oil to fry is a bit of a waste IMO, as you will lose all the taste and negates most of its healthy properties by bringing it to too high temperature.

      1. I use a TON of butter in my cooking – it’s basically in every meal. I only use unsalted butter because it’s easier to control the salt levels that way, especially when you’re cooking for a number of people.

      2. Agreed on the olive oil remark, though. I only use it in cold sauces, like a vinaigrette.

  25. Dutch ovens, the most beautiful inventions to those of us who eat 6 pounds of food a day.
    Need 10 chicken breasts for today and tomorrow?
    Dutch oven.
    Need a large juicy roast for the family visiting?
    Dutch oven.
    Need to piss off your wife with protein farts in bed?
    Dutch oven.

    1. Stainless steel are good too. It just depends if you prefer durability (stainless steel) or easiness to sharpen (carbon steel)… but probably cutting meat shouldn’t damage the edge too much so carbon steel is definitely a good choice.

        1. Do you know how coarse this one is? It’s usually good to use 2-3 different stones from the coarser to the smoother if you want to get a knife razor sharp (I assume this one is quite smooth)… Around 3000-5000 grit I assume?

    2. The steel on those looks a little thin, plus there’s no bolster. At least they’re full-tang.
      I know that some of you are going to laugh, but I have had an excellent set of high-carbon knives from Martha Stewart, purchased just prior to her incarceration. They are solid and heavy, and, just like her pots and pans (heavy-gauge stainless), they are exceptionally durable. I’d put them beyond Farberware and somewhere near Henckel’s in terms of quality.

  26. Great article! Thanks for sharing.
    Let us face the fact that most young modern women don’t cook at all. Their mothers didn’t cook, so they don’t cook. Period. End of story.
    IMO, every red pill man should learn to cook some basic dishes. Cooking is healthier. Cooking saves money. Cooking puts you in control. And as other commenters point out, most the great chefs throughout history have been men.
    I have yet to find any woman whose hamster didn’t get her panties soaked after I cooked a meal for dinner or gave her a fresh grilled cheese after I fucked her. Im usually hungry after a long session.

    1. A woman can be trained to cook – by her man. She can learn, like she learns sex, to do it the way HE likes it, provided she is a good listener and is obedient. A woman who says ‘fuck you, get it yourself’ when you ask her to pass the salt is untrainable for anything and won’t even tit feed because her mother likely didn’t tit feed either. I myself will never be a tit feeder and I cannot even train myself.
      Cooking takes a knack for chemistry and your best bet is a woman that tit feeds because she will watch, listen and learn. Her sense for the alchemy may not be present but she can go through the motions of the recipe until she gets it and she becomes sharp listening for cooking hints and tips to remember. When it is the law of the house to please her master, her priorities are established.
      A few of my great uncles had to actually show their wives how to cook the basics when the girls were in their teens. To this day my great aunts can do the whole Thanksgiving spread because they’ve done it enough times. My great uncles will always say, ”yeah I remember when I showed her how to soak the meat or do such and such.” My great aunts weren’t geniuses either, just average girls back then. But they weren’t retards either. Today with the majority of intelligent women working overtime in office cubicles and shoveling fast food, a lot of the retards who got rejected as wife or breeding material in the past will get wifed up today because they’re easy to work and knock up. Unfortunately they can’t prepare shit. And no one out there, especially parents, are performing needed ‘stupid’ shit tests on the women who get their foot into the door of their klan.

  27. A dutch oven is a real thing? I thought it was when you held your #1 plate’s head under the blankies and sharted as close to her nostrils as possible.

  28. ha, I actually own cast iron pans and I love them. Stove top to oven like nothing. if seasoned right never stick. it is an art

  29. Ceramic can be brittle; if you’re going to go with Le Crueset, I’d suggest the enameled cast iron. Also, don’t store high-acid foods in aluminum.
    I’d also humbly suggest a stock pot. Or, perhaps a high-carbon steel wok. Aluminum heats too evenly–as does stainless steel, which can’t be seasoned because it’s too hard.

  30. I would also recommend the stovetop coffee percalator. Electric drip is ok. But when the power went out, I cranked out my gas stove and had gourmet coffee. My wife appreciated how I was able to step up and do things the manly way when her electric kitchen was down.
    I love the dutch oven concept. Will have to buy one when I get the cash.
    Most emasculated men do not realize there are actually a lot of stuff they could want to buy that is durable. So they just go shopping with the wife or blow money on consumerist crap here today and gone tomorrow. Let the wife decide how to spend the money they don’t have.
    With a masculine philoisophy, you can actually spend any extra cash you may have on stuff that will enhance your stature. And help you to acquire skills. (Not just be an effiminate spectator consumer who pays for services that enrich another).
    My squirrel and rabbit trap is one such purchase. My squirrel trap has helped me get the danged vermin out of my fruit trees. And have been using the knife my son got me for Christmas to skin the vermin like my old grandad taught me when I was a teenager. They taste pretty danged good on the grill. If you are wondering how to take them out while in the cage, I recommend a headhot with a good pump pellet gun. (I have never had problems with a pellet riccocheting, but good safety glasses would be a recommended precaution). Do not shoot the pellet into the meat. Nobody wants to lose a dental crown because they were eating a damned rodent.
    I enjoy inviting people over for grilling farmers market pork chops which are always a hit. I enjoy having a couple of squirrel on the grill and offereing them too.
    Surprisingly, after a good chuckle, most people want to taste it out of curiosity.

  31. This article gave me a great idea. Planning a short family camping trip around the theme of cooking a meal. It would be a great controlled experiment of bug-out. Don’t know where the heck I would bug out to, but it would be fun nevertheless.
    But skills like this actually come in handy for things like power outages in the suburbs. It is good to have various cooking options.
    However, I have found the hardcore survivalists bug out types often tend to underestimate the value of portable electric appliances.
    With a couple of electric burners and a portable oven, it is good for a bug-out strategy to include a “cheap motel drifter” option.
    Cooking up a good meal on the run in that motel room while watching news of “The Exodus” on CNN Live.

    1. Agreed, I’ve had to use my hiking alcohol stove to cook up a meal while travelling for work before (in the bathroom sink where there was no smoke detector present). Sometimes you’d get into a town late and providing you have ration supplies with you, it’s easier/quicker to cook up a meal in the room.

  32. Concur on all, especially cast iron, but Le Cruset will kill you price-wise. I have many kitchen tools at my disposal, but best of all however, is the mixer. When I got married in 1986, Ma gave us a KitchenAid pro-line mixer in mottled gun metal grey. 325W beast. When I got divorced in 1992, I got custody. The mixer is nearly thirty years old and runs like new, I opened it a couple of years ago to grease the transmission and there was no need, it was stuffed with grease. Adding the grinder 20 years ago was the best move of all for burgers, for ground meat for sauces where you need lean meat, and for pork for sausage patties. I haven’t bought a pound of hamburger in a store since. The hooks, whisks and paddles for dough, bread puddings and sauces cannot be beat. When it comes to a hand mixer, go for a KitchenAid 70W. Great for everything-by-hand. They sell a 600W KitchenAid, but it’s really not necessary, the grinder is still the same. The 325W Proline is plenty.
    Carry on, Gents.

  33. Hot tip re: Dutch ovens
    Smaller sized Dutch oven without the feet underneath (flat bottom) are perfect for using on your gas stove in the kitchen. And the best thing about them (apart from the flavour) is that you can use STEEL spatulas and ladels without having to worry about scratching up some highly toxic, non stick coating. (seasoning/oiling makes cast iron non stick too).
    Between a cast iron Dutch oven, a cast Iron wok and a cast iron skillet, the only other non cast iron cooking tool that I still use is a stainless steel pot for boiling things like pasta or potatoes.
    Thin non-stick light weight pots n’ pans were developed for complaining fairies who didn’t like exerting any force by lifting iron pots (using good form) or scrubbing with regular steel wool.
    (Hot tip #2 Steel wool is a universal tool which also cleans everything, get the coarse grade for cast iron and don’t over scrub. Finer steel wool (#0000) is also perfect for applying tung oil to floors and other timber-work, giving gloss oil paint a satin of flat finish and heaps of other tasks.

  34. Has anyone ever done that stacking thing ? It looks like he has hot coals ON TOP if the ovens !! Is that what the dude is doing ? Never heard of that. I am actually getting a little obsessed over learning a new homesteading cooking technique.
    I am imagining them cooking a stew with savory sunchokes (also called Jersualem artichokes) which I am planting today. Trying to make my whole lawn into a micro-farm.
    Nothing like homesteading, cooking and gardening with an outdoor element that brings men and women together.

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