Any endeavour you undertake in life, whether it be writing a novel, starting a business, or learning to get good with girls will require that you make a massive effort in order to be successful. Be in no doubt – massive effort is a great thing. A man must have a mission in life and true happiness comes when you work hard at it. But a very real consequence of having a singular vision is burnout and this is something you must strive to avoid.
The Need For Massive Effort
The requirement for ‘”massive effort” will be familiar to anyone who has read or listened to motivational speakers like Tony Robbins, or business and sales gurus such as Grant Cardone. Cardone in particular writes very inspiringly about the topic in his book The 10X Rule, which I would recommend not only to those who work in sales, but anyone who has an interest in improving their life generally.
Cardone’s premise is that in order to achieve any given goal in today’s frenetic, fast-paced business environment, you need to give every aspect of your endeavour 10X the effort that you might originally envisage.
Such a degree of dedicated effort, for Cardone, is the difference between success and failure. But there is another strand to his theory. To be truly successful you must also ensure that you set your goals ten times higher than required. So if, for example, it is your ambition to make $10,000, you must make it your goal to earn $100,000.
This is a familiar concept. By aiming high, even if you don’t end up pulling in the whole $100,000, you are likely to finish up with a whole lot more than had you shot for less.
The Appeal Of The “Work Hard” Ethic
This idea of putting in enormous effort to achieve goals will be familiar to many. From Michael Gladwell’s famed 10,000 hours theory, which states that mastery of any discipline only comes about after 10,000 hours’ effort have been expended, to Angela Duckworth’s book Grit, which describes how success is a product of pushing doggedly through setbacks, there is no shortage of writers and thinkers telling us to put a rocket under our ass if we want to achieve anything worthwhile.
I wholeheartedly agree with them.
For me, there are two important elements to working hard—first, that it will indeed raise the probability of your achieving success, and second, it is good for the soul. As David Deida notes in his seminal The Way of the Superior Man, men in particular need a mission in life that is unconnected with women. Whether it is a movie script, a sport or a microbrewery business, you need to have something that obsesses you that you are inspired to work on day and night. Not only are you more likely to be successful through sheer intensity of effort, but also you will lead a happier life.
My Mission
My mission is writing. Aside from contributing to ROK I have several blogs, write journalism for other titles and have written novels and non-fiction books. Writing for me is both a business and an art—it is my intention that 100% of my income will come from my writing (in whatever form) within the next twelve months and I am working to make that a reality now.
The work itself is pleasurable—that’s not to say that I am ecstatic every time I sit down at the keyboard. As anyone who has tried it knows, writing is hard, frustrating, and time-consuming. It also requires you to make thousands of micro-decisions every second, which can leave you filled with self-doubt.
Nevertheless, I can honestly say that I love it. Writing gives me a sense of flow and freedom that few other activities do. I love the poetry of language, and the challenge of wrestling with it on the page, of marshalling it for my own purposes. I have sat indoors writing while the sun has been high in the sky and others have been out enjoying themselves and these stints have been some of the happiest times of my life.
But, Burnout Is Real
Having said all of that, burnout is real, something that was brought home to me recently by the experience of a close friend.
This friend of mine had spent countless hours working on his start-up to the exclusion of almost everything else. He would work from early in the morning until late at night, determined that his dream would become a reality. All was going well and he was on the verge of securing a multi-million pound venture capital injection. But he was stressed out and found it hard to sleep at night. He visited his doctor to no avail. Then, over a single weekend, everything unraveled and he was admitted to hospital suffering from exhaustion. The damage to his mental health was great enough that he has been compelled to take time off and put his business plans on hold.
His story causes some difficulty for me as someone who would otherwise unreservedly advocate massive, determined effort in pursuit of your goals.
But just because burnout is possible, I wouldn’t advise anyone not to work hard. Instead, I would caution you to be aware of the dangers, and to temper your efforts with a few simple strategies.
1. Keep in mind the bigger picture.
Okay, so your business, novel, or sporting achievement is incredibly important to you. But try to keep things in perspective. Even if it doesn’t work for you this time, it’s not the end of the world—you will always have another chance, even if you have to amend or tweak your goal slightly. Work hard on the tasks in hand, but don’t let them consume you—try to take a “whatever happens is for the best” approach. This is much more healthy and takes the pressure off so you can do your best work.
2. Write A Gratitude List And Believe In Abundance
Every night you should write a list of five to ten things you are grateful for. This could be anything from your education to readily available food to having a place to live and work.
It sounds so simple as to be asinine, but remembering—and actually writing down—all the things that make your life great is another useful way of putting things in perspective. It may seem like the end of the world when you’ve sent out 100 prospecting emails to potential clients and no one’s responded, but the truth is there is still a lot in your life to be thankful for.
At the same time, you should also believe in abundance. Again this may seem a little hokey and new age, but always remember that another person’s success will not preclude yours. So if it’s your aim to get good with girls and a friend is successful every time you go out then don’t be jealous—instead, congratulate him and realize what is possible, and that there are literally billions of women out there. Some of them will like you too.
3. Stay In Contact With friends And Family
An obvious point, but one that you need to remember. Your family and close friends are your bedrock. You need to maintain regular contact with them no matter how busy you get. If you have to, schedule time in your calendar to call your mum and dad. This is something I don’t do enough and I should.
You are not alone on this planet—maintain regular contact with those closest to you and be grateful for them.
4. Help Others
This sounds counter-intuitive but the best way to help yourself, particularly if you’re going through a period of stress, is to help other people. Doing so will take you out of yourself and remind you that you are not the centre of the universe. This could be as simple as mentoring someone, or volunteering to help people who are ill or otherwise disadvantaged.
This is not some happy-clappy pseudo-religious dogma, but a very practical way for relieving stress and living a good life. Try it.
5. Keep It In The Day
We live our lives in increments punctuated by sleep, and no human being can live more than one of these at a time, so learn to live 24 hours at time. The past is gone—whatever has happened cannot now he changed, so don’t sweat it. The future is beyond your control, subject to a myriad of unforeseen factors. So it’s not worth worrying about.
Instead, do yourself a favour and focus on what is in front of you right now. Keeping it in the day is a great way of narrowing your focus to the one thing you have at least some control over–the present.
6. Hand The Outcome Over
You may succeed, you may fail. Of course, you would rather succeed, and I would encourage you to do everything you can to make that happen, but in the end some events are out of your control. So try not to tie all of your happiness to a specific outcomes. Ok, if you don’t get that publishing deal then you’ll be disappointed, but as I said earlier, you’ll always have another shot. The success or failure of an entire lifetime is rarely founded on a single outcome, so don’t take things so seriously. Instead, hand it over to the universe, your higher power or to a god, if you believe in one, and concentrate on the work in hand instead.
Remember, if you’re fixated on a particular goal then great, but don’t let it consume you. Try the simple tips I’ve outlined to get some much-needed clarity and distance. If you put the work in on the tasks in front of you then the results will take care of themselves.
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Read More: Why You Don’t Deserve That Perfect 10
While ‘Follow your dreams and your heart’ is usually complete bullshit, the best way to avoid burnout is to somewhat enjoy your job, and feel satisfied by what comes of your results. Do something you don’t hate.
“While ‘Follow your dreams and your heart’ is usually complete bullshit”
Yes I agree – Ive had female family siblings tell me “do what you love and the money will come” nonsense, which probably works today only for women since society is gynocentric, but that type of thinking for men is stupid unless one can come up with a plan to make his passion for something pragmatic in life.
But I think Kipling stated it best: “if you can dream, but not make dreams your master.”
Much of the results of self improvement cater greatly to women as they will receive rewards throughout the whole process, from an increased interest of Facebook friends, to both men and women providing support, and will mostly see positive reinforcement whether they report about the new job, new guy, new coffee, all the way through to the new life status they have been working on. They suffer a low burnout rate because being a woman who puts herself out there is a net positive.
Contrast this with a guy, who receives no reward from immediacy outside of an initial way to go on making a decision, won’t receive any praise for the middle aspect of his journey which is by far the longest part, and will only see results on his own time while slightly garnering additional respect when he can relay to others that they to can suffer setbacks like he did to achieve their goal. No one will choose these setbacks as most are looking for immediacy in reward turnaround.
For a guy, the process has to be a reward. I find the more you can notice the little changes you have made, the less likely you are to use comparison. Comparison kills more dreams than any editor, girlfriend, boss, or even life, can. Putting out gratitude for your own gifts and your own energy and support system is crucial as sometimes your goal will cause you to lose friends or contact with family.
R Kipling’s quote was a solid addition to your statement.
I believe your description above nailed it perfectly.
Especially that last bit about the process of mastery. Noticing myself getting into a rut recently.
And yes, our male burden is to constantly improve & evolve. We simply don’t have the luxury of having someone to pick up our slack if we fail ourselves unlike the modern Westernized woman who can dial up White Knights R’ Us or fall back on other social engineered institutionalized incentives.
Our male internal dialog of pain, frustrations, crushed dreams, setbacks & scars is truly our private Book Of Life. We build the world from its uncompromising lessons & resulting bitter fruit if we can bear it.
A woman is unable to fathom this.
Spot on.
I did this a few years ago when I was in the process of losing fat. Because I’m anal retentive in regards to numbers, I kept a log of my weight and tape, not mentioning anything about it until someone mentioned it on my social site feed. When asked how I did it, I simply told them I watched what I ate and hit the gym.
Funny enough I’ve kept the weight off while the rest keep yo-yoing with their weight.
“R Kipling’s quote was a solid addition to your statement”
Thanks – and I thoroughly agree with your assesment that the process is the reward for men. Let’s take artists for example (kinda lame but it’s the first example I can think of in the moment) there are artists who paint in order to have an exhibit and have a bunch of art snobs blow smoke up their asses i e. Psychological validation. Then there are artists who simply enjoy the process of painting and just paint and paint and , whereas these artists would enjoy to have an exhibit, it’s not nearly as important as actually the process of creating.
Just witnessed this phenomena firsthand a few months back…
I had the luxury of going to school debt free after serving in the military for 6 years. The goal was to get an education after serving my country in the hopes of getting a decent paying job afterwards. It was all part of a calculated plan to ensure my own survival (and if you can tell by my photo, the survival of my offspring).
I spent the better part of 4 years hitting the books, sitting in the library for hours on end, meeting with teachers during office hours, the whole shebang. Countless hours, and hours spent on ensuring I got the most enriching experience out of college. It paid off and 2 months before graduating I had several job offers from companies offering 85k+
(unheard of by most college students).
This of course was in direct contrast to the experience of most of my peers who spent their time partying, paying multiple visits to the medical center for syphilis treatment (I was an SDSU student), and recovering from hangovers nearly every morning. & while I had my fair share of the traditional
college experiences, I knew that fun only happened after business was done. That was a value I held from my first day, until my last final.
Graduation day was a real eye opener. As people initially began taking selfies with each other, posting updates on facebook, and sharing stories laughs and tears with each other- their hope gradually turned into despair. It was as clear is as night is to day. A large amount of the women I shared classes with, most of whom worried far more about frat parties and sleeping with the cute guy in class, and in the process of it all gained 15 pounds, were now faced with the reality that they have nothing to show for it. As conversations flowed back and forth, I was open about my career opportunities and didn’t hold back out of fear of them becoming
jealous. You could see their look of disappointment in themselves, knowing that within a week they would be moving back in with their parents because they failed to take their education seriously.
& here is where our society fails women: Later on that night after celebrating with a close circle of family and friends, I log into
Facebook. I see dozens of photos of these women dressed in their graduation outfits, smiling with delight. Many of them with hundreds of likes and congratulatory comments. For what? These same women thought the idea of studying was pulling me into an empty classroom with them, for a quick study sesh (if you catch my drift). Many of them simply gamed their way through college, and only a fraction of them had something lined up afterwards.
Women are rewarded for their mediocrity, which is why they remain in their infantile state until they’ve finally lost their beauty.
I’ll take kinda lame bear artists for $1000 Trebeck.
Agree. Every time i´ve strive myself to achiveve a something great, the effort was so huge and i was so burnout that sucess didn´t compensate the effort and i feel no joy.
Burnout happens when you enjoy what you do. Do too much of what you enjoy and there it is: burnt out.
7. If you don’t attain your goal by 23 or younger like the few whiz kids on facebook and reported weekly by every news centre run by Rupert Murdock, you are FUBAR.
The other 60 years of living are for subservience to culture (new wave feminism, materialism and the like) and to (finally) build your foundations in mediocrity, until you yield to all your grit for creation, giving up your soul & dreams.
It’s unbelievable. Jesus Christ has said all the above advices about burnout!
The best way to avoid burnout is to set aside a day of the week devoted to rest. Our ancestors understood and practiced this rest day as a part of our Christian/Western heritage:
– Devote a 24 hour period, 1 day out of every 7, to complete rest. “Stay in your place”. This extends to everyone in your household including animals.
– “Light no fire”. Prepare everything you’re going to eat before the rest day.
– Abstain from buying and selling. No participation in commerce.
– No labor of any kind relating to monetary or material profit.
– Devote yourself to spiritual study and reflection. Abstain from your own pleasures and instead make your focus things that please Yahweh (God). The Bible teaches in doing this God will bring a blessing to you. In my experience, I can attest to this being true.
This weekly “spiritual calibration” is the absolute best way to avoid any kind of burnout and prepares the body, mind, and soul to go through the rest of the week supercharged.
The advice can also apply to the a-religious. One day out of your week to avoid those things that build stress and focus on your mental and physical well being (no television, internet, or phone – try taking a walk in the park) can work wonders.
But if you really like cooking or cleaning your house (as I do), no reason to avoid it on your day off.
You are right. God’s law is made with all people in mind, based on our design, and one day out of seven to rest and recoup is optimal to recharge our systems. The principle has been found to have scientific validity, or as I like to say, science is always catching up to the Bible.
Jesus said, “the sabbath was made for the man, not the man for the sabbath”. Aside from trying to make a dishonest buck on a national day (we are far removed from our national sabbath in 2016) set aside for rest, the “rest” day is for the man.
Loved the article. Sound wisdom.
I have a modest suggestion to add to the following piece of advice –
3. Stay In Contact With friends And Family
I was talking to a friend of mine about this very issue last night. He has a successful handyman business and makes $2000 to $3000 per week. He started with nothing. His friends and family told him to get a real job when he first started out. And now, they are so jealous, that it’s readily apparent to him, whenever he is around them.
So long as whatever goal you are working towards doesn’t threaten your friends or family, or make them feel bad about their own lives, it’s okay to discuss it with them. But if your goal might wind up making you a lot of money, or put you in a position where you might become a celebrity of sorts, it isn’t smart to discuss that goal with them. Anybody who has achieved even a modest amount of celebrity, or financial success, already knows this. Your biggest detractors will indeed be your own friends and family if you actualize a goal of which they are envious. And this is most especially true, if that realized goal of yours gives you a tremendous amount of freedom and independence…most people are far from being free and independent, and pretty much everybody aspires to realize that particular dream. Thus, the unbridled jealousy.
I frequently encounter men via my web design business, who are completely locked down – married, kids, mortgage, etc. As my friend was telling me last night, their lives are basically over, and they are just grinding it out. So they get jealous when they encounter somebody who slipped through the net of conformity, and currently answers to no one. It’s every man’s dream to do this, basically. So if you live that dream, prepare for some serious envy and bile…
Let’s say you become a fairly well-known author. Their jealousy meter will spike. Same for an actor. Same for any type of really creative endeavor, pretty much. And if your goal is to become rich, once that starts happening, the sour grapes you will encounter from friends and family will be epic. I learned a long time ago not to discuss my biggest goals with friends and family, for those very reasons. As an actor friend of mine once told me, after he’d warned me about discussing acting roles that I landed, with friends and family, and I just ignored him, thinking he was wrong (until I found he was right) – “Don’t say a word about your roles. When they see you on TV or on the big screen, let ’em eat that…” Truer words were never spoken.
People are extremely jealous animals. Very much so. My experience has taught me that men have an enormous capacity for raging jealousy – even more so than women. Many men can’t stand it when another man does whatever he sets out to do. The bigger your accomplishments, and the more frequent your accomplishments – and most importantly, the more independence you have – the more ardently men will try to tear you down. “Doesn’t HE think he’s hot shit”, etc. This will become even more apparent, when that success of yours starts attracting top-tier women. Pure rage, that’s what you’ll encounter at that point. Most men will mask it and let it boil inside them, but some won’t. And yet it will still be there. It’s all envy-based. It’s human nature to try and diminish the accomplishments of other people – especially if those accomplishments are considerable.
In the end it’s a competitive world, and most men look at the world as containing two types of people – winners and losers. When they are confronted with a serious winner, they get jealous. Human nature. Be that as it may, it’s a given that people talk. And they will bad-mouth you if you get too “uppity” for their tastes. They want you to stay at curb level, right along with them, so that they might feel better about themselves. So don’t give them anything to talk about – meaning, don’t tell them about that big goal you are working to achieve. You may not believe that the vast majority of people fall into the petty jealousy camp, but it’s true. And I hope everybody who reads this finds out the truth about it one day, because it will mean that you accomplished some very major goals…
I learned a long time ago to remain in good graces with family, but do not talk about your success. I share a set back with them now and again– it cheers them up.
Also once you start to make some coin and get ahead, tell no one. You will be surprised how certian family and friends come a running about their debt problems. It can get ugly with lasting rifts. Some people really believe their entitled to your efforts of labor and enterprise.
Agreed. When people ask me how I’m doing I usually say something like, “Another day. Nothing special.” And they like hearing that one. Or as you said, talk about a setback. People love hearing about setbacks. Heh. Human beings are not as advertised, that’s for sure…
Human beings are constant in 2 things through out the ages. Doesn’t matter who they are. We are habitual and we take the path of least resistance.
Not sure of the poet’s name, but “some of us chose the path least treaded” and it leads to some peculiar, and sometimes, successful ends. I find that when a man goes “all in” it scares a lot of people, but it simply because you weighed the risk and went for it. Most are in incapable of that. The fear of losing the little they have weighs them down to inaction.
Fear is the prison…for sure.
These are tremendously profound words, 100 % agreed.
Not that humanity is inherently or necessarily evil, but the vast majority of the population of any social species tend to converge into the range of “mediocrity”, sometimes up to 95 % and above, and it’s just the very few “tail” minority at the upper end that carry mankind into greater horizons, who will always be “different” and need to accept a life of non-conformity for their superior talents.
I am a great believer that a man can do anything. And I do not believe that it has anything to do with genetics, or what others might refer to as “intelligence”. It has to do with persistence, with wanting it, to the exclusion of everything else. Once a man learns how to be single-minded, and actualize his every goal, the process becomes fluid and hidden doorways open up for him – doorways that lead to states of higher consciousness. And those states of higher consciousness are better than sex, better than power, better than money or material possessions. “Energy is all”. Everything is energy. Our friends, our possessions, our very thoughts. “Thought is gravity”. We gravitate towards that which we think about, as that which we think about gravitates towards us. The harder we think about it, the faster it gravitates towards us. “Knowledge is power”. There are hidden truths inside that little gem as well. True knowledge is never what we think it’s going to be. And total understanding, gives rise to true power, in the form of miraculous feats of perception and accomplishment. It is our divine right as magical beings who have fallen from grace (“The fall of man”)…
Entire civilizations have vanished from the face of the earth – the Easter Islanders, the Anasazi Indians, the Mayans, et al. Scientists offer implausible and very earthly explanations for this phenomenon, but elders of the remnants of those long-ago peoples claim otherwise. They claim that those civilizations dreamed themselves (or thought themselves) out of existence on this plane of consciousness entirely, and elevated their game as divine beings by to the point where they arrived en masse, at the world towards which they gravitated (towards which they dreamed up as a group, towards which they thought about, i.e., constructed in their minds, as a group). It is a romantic notion to be sure, but one that I believe is ultimately true. We are so much more than 90 cents’ worth of material from the Periodic Table of the Elements, housed inside a sac of skin. And on a visceral level, we know this. Persistence is the key – persistence to the exclusion of every other competing thought. Nothing can stand in the way of single-mindedness. All barriers ultimately crumble in the face of it, and it is our lot as men to learn this individually, via practice…
Sorry, but saying you don’t believe genetics has anything to do with aptitude, is basically saying you don’t believe in biology. It really isn’t something that’s up to people to decide what they believe in. It’s a fact that genes affect aptitude, along with many other characteristics.
And really, if genes had nothing to do with aptitude, then natural selection would be meaningless. So not only is it a fact, but it’s an absolute logical necessity.
And that aside too, it’s just obvious that who people are, and what they can do, is fairly fixed, in most cases. The guy who sits around all day drinking cheap liquor – that guy was never going to be a neurosurgeon.
And genes don’t just determine intelligence, obviously. Other things, such as a person’s diligence, their persistence, also fall under the influence of their genes. They’re also a part of that person’s nature.
Can people improve themselves? Of course. But there are limits on how far they can go, and those are determined by their genes, and other factors outside of their control (in utero development, early childhood, and in rare cases illnesses, and traumas). An average guy can practice piano like a maniac, but he’ll never get close to the heights of music Mozart reached. You or I could go train sprinting all day long, but we’ll never be nearly as fast as Usain Bolt.
This fact is made obvious when you see that the vast majority of people within their chosen occupation, even if they work hard, are never genius, or even brilliant (and those who do work hard, probably do so, for the most part, because of a naturally different constitution).
There are and have been many, many people, who have dedicated their lives to piano, and they’re very good, but not Mozart.
All those guys at the Olympics, running alongside Bolt. They train just as hard. But Bolt is taller, bigger, and just faster.
Anyway, it is true that people can improve, and that hard work is needed for everyone. But intelligence, ability, temperament, and even personality are largely inborn, and there are always natural limits on what we can do and who we can be. An intelligent person would appreciate this, find something they’re good at, and then work as hard as they can to achieve what they want.
It’s a matter of perspective. Both points are valid, I think, depending on one’s perspective (or vantage point)…
Indeed I myself struggle very hard trying to keep focusing on my goals. I have a very hard time resisting immediate rewards in favour of delayed gratification. I’m also an alcohol addict.
I would say in the infinity of possibilities presented by life, there is a chance for everyone (in sound physical health) to become the absolute best at something. Guys like Usain Bolt appear so superior because they have discovered a venue in which they can outclass everyone else, and have fulfilled their worldly potential by working extremely hard and smart towards their natural destiny. Therefore we can say that Usain Bolt is an example of a man who has reached self-actualization.
The potential to best everyone else in a very unique field and make your original and special contribution to the collective human experience in this universe is part of what makes life so beautiful. If on the other hand, everyone who tried a little bit could make a billion USD or run 100m under 9.58, then these figures would simply become the new benchmarks of “mediocrity”. Exceptional progress born out of strife and competition is a natural and most likely even necessary element of the collective journey of Humanity. One can even argue it is the “Telos” of the human existence in this galaxy.
“members of a group will attempt to negate or diminish the importance of any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, spite, conspiracy, or competitive feelings, to halt their progress”
Wiki – “Crab Mentality”
I’ll be damned…thanks for pointing that out. (You learn something new every day…)
I can approve this so much.
I started researching Online Marketing two years ago, my brother saw sometimes the kind of books I’ve read and asked what it was. I knew that I shouldn’t tell him that there is crazy potential in this and that it could change my life completely and make me rich etc.
I just told him that I could probably make an additional 500-800€ per month through it. I’m lucky I just told him only that, because he started to annoy the sh’t out of me.
“Well I think this doesn’t actually work, if it would work everyone would do it.”
“I believe this is scam, you should forget it.”
“Just find a good corporate job, don’t waste your time with this bullshit.”
And so on, and so on.
If he’d know that I make 5-figures atm, he would go full crazy and beg me to show him how I’ve did it.
Sadly he has a loser-mindset. He wants always many and good things but he never takes action or doesn’t put any effort to get it.
Touché, compañero. You see through the veil here. Another curious type of male jealousy that I occasionally encounter, usually exhibits itself in a grocery store (or in a bar), typically in the summertime. I wear shorts, and I don’t tape my equipment and flatten it down against my leg, in order to assuage (notice the anagram of “sausage” here) the feelings of low self-esteem, exhibited by a large number of insecure men. I can’t tell you how many times these dudes with feelings of inadequacy will openly and disgustedly stare at my crotch, with this look of abject hatred on their faces. (I’m not 100% sure, but I think those glares are probably borderline gay…?) The good thing is, as you know if you are in a similar situation, women often push their shopping carts up directly in front of you, blocking your way, while pulling out their phones and asking for your phone number – so it isn’t all bad news. Especially the younger ones, who are incredibly aggressive.
I think this is due to the fact that pretty much all women under the age of 25 have been raised on Internet porn and they see all of those prosthetic penises waving about in porn movies (this will probably be the subject of a future article of mine, if the proprietor here at ROK sees fit to publish it; and yes, many porn penises are fake – especially the black ones; black skin hides the seams of Hollywood-created prosthetic dongs, much better than can be done with the skin tones of lighter-skinned males) and they start aggressively chasing after big guys with ample bulges, because they think they’re losers if they don’t get to mount a penis that’s bigger, better, and badder, like the ones the gorgeous porn stars with perfect pussies get to play with.
The other trick they like to pull, is walking up beside you while you’re looking for something in the grocery aisle, and after stopping a couple of inches away from you, they casually drop their gaze and stare directly down at your crotch, in order to let you know they’re interested. (Yep, you’ve had this one happen to you, too, if you are packing a little bit extra…these sluts are clever, no doubt about it. And just for the record, I don’t think the size of a man’s equipment has anything to do with whether or not he’s an alpha male; most guys who are hung show a total lack of self-control and discernment when it comes to sex, and to my way of thinking, that makes them no different than the cock-carousel-riding sluts they bang…)
Like those YouTube videos where the guy puts a huge fake Dong in his pants and then hides a camera in his belt and catches all the girls (and some dudes) just staring. Messed up stuff. There is one place that I disagree with you. It’s not that clever for a chick to stare at your crotch. Just makes it obvious about what a ho she is. You are totally right about the porn part.
Even Jesus talked about this. He said you can be a prophet in any community but your own. In the gospel he actually encountered the same issue in his home town when his people he’d known since he was a child refused to believe he had any more connection to God than anyone else. He was so annoyed he didn’t do any maricles for them.
So either Jesus really was a great man, his story was written by a great man whom knows great men endure this kind of treatment or the writers just got lucky.
“And they will bad-mouth you if you get too “uppity” for their tastes.
They want you to stay at curb level, right along with them, so that they
might feel better about themselves.”
I’ve lost many friends for sharing my good fortune with them. I learned discretion, but contact with others’ envy (among other things) tarnished my faith in humanity. We are (vastly) small people, with only a few admirable exceptions.
I’m happy you are sharing this wisdom here on RoK. I’m sure young people will benefit a lot and perhaps they avoid repeating our mistakes.
Thanks for the kind words. I hope the same thing, that young men will benefit. It’s shocking when you first find out about real human nature in this regard. Hopefully, this might soften the blow.
It’s not just men. I found out how hateful and jealous people are when things started to go south for me. Now that I am rising back, the fear and interference from family is incredible.
I will never trust again.
Tough pill to swallow. Everybody learns this one the hard way, I’m afraid…
Law 1: Never outshine the master
“Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.”
If you work within a hierarchy and you are not at the top, this one is golden. Nice one, Clark. Watched “Superman Returns” last night. Weird flick. “Superbeta Returns”, more like it. A white knight with a sensitive son who has asthma, the mother of whom is the carousel-riding, uber-empowered, impossibly brilliant Lois Lane. Subtle shit…like a hammer upside the face. Now of course, Lois didn’t have to follow Law 1 above, as, well…she is a woman. It occurred to me while watching it that the way Hollywood portrays women plays a role in how few of them ever make it to the top of a corporation. They believe they can shoot their mouths off, blow everybody in the firm, kick the president’s door down and claim the job. Heh. Major mindfuck. Good idea for a nemesis for Superman right there – Major Mindfuck.
No.2 is something that I’ve done before. Some time ago I scribbled down two list, one comprising of all my shortfalls and bad habits i wanted to rid and a other wih what I aught to be doing. Whenever I look back on my actions the image of the two lists pop up in my mind. It’s sort of like a benchmark to measure your progress similar to keeping a record of gym progress. Really helpful.
No.4 is a tricky one; help those whose company you enjoy and don’t view returning a favour as a chore. You’ll find that you list of aquaintances will slim down to bits. Focus on helping those who’ll be able to bring value to your persomal life. This sort of cross polinate with No.3 as some will only keep in touch if you’re of use to aid their goals.
One major thing is to learn the facts from bullshit advice. The old mantra of low fat, high carb diets has put millions of people in jeopardy with regards to their health. Injuries as a result of over exertion.
If you don’t educate yourself to know what works or not, all your efforts would be futile. You could be going down the wrong path.
Sometimes the best advice are the ones given for free. There is no conflict of interest.
“1. Keep in mind the bigger picture.”
I imagine many men here have more of a contradictory problem, judging by what I read on here sometimes. There is a time and a place for that sort of thinking, if you make time for it.
Focusing on the bigger picture and your abstract capacity is useful in planning and preparation, but often not in action, unless you’re in a leadership position. Its even useful psychologically somehow, just to sit in idle thought some times, I think.
When I keep things on a surface level psychologically, and apply myself to stick to my plan, I make a lot less mistakes. I enjoy the chase and success a lot more, even.
When I start dwelling on the bigger picture, when its not the correct time (time I’ve made for myself) the slip ups start to happen, stress gets worse, defeatism rears its head, etc… It becomes a real shit show.
Somewhat related to burnout is losing your nerve before the payoff. Often we get enmeshed in a project and get sick of it without seeing all that has been accomplished or problems solved. Take a break but get back to it to drive it over the finish line.
I have a new blog post up about opportunities in the latest SBIR request for proposals. If you are trying to scrape together work or funding this can point you in the right direction :
DoD Releases Hot New SBIR Opportunities
http://wp.me/p6QFjS-71
Working hard 100% achieves precisely fuck all without working smart.
Napolean said “a smart lazy officer can be tolerated but a stupid industrious one must be removed immediately”.
Outstanding summation. I could work 100% digging holes and filling them in again, eating grass, wanking to America got Talent, but no-one would give a fuck cause I’m not adding value.
I’d say I work 80% smart (we all make mistakes) and 70% hard. Fuck 100%, I’m a human, not a machine
Nailed it. Work is my tool for the lifestyle I want, I’m not a tool for my company.
One of the best days of my life was when I said my boss (now my associate) I was going to refuse some jobs because I simply didn’t need them.
How I avoid burnout: Switch to a different project that does not require mental strain, or uses a different part of the brain.
Example: Writing for two hours and begin to drain. I use the duolingo app to learn Spanish for two hours.
Example: MY workouts have become sluggish, and repetitive. I find a gym “challenge” Like how many reps I can do squatting 225.
Different is new and exciting. Then, going back to what you need to do may cause you to believe it too is new and exciting.
here take a break.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trk-3XYXRsI
So what happened to the Kratom people?
“AHHHHHH! SHE WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD!”
What a great article. We should work hard in life to earn everything but, there is a time to work and to relax.
Great Article, Tony. Its timely reminder for me to avoid burning out for me in the my life right now. I can’t not stress how important number 2 is. For the past 2 years, I have developed a scarcity mindset that has made me withdrawn and dour for the past couple of months. A quick vacation to UK to see family and given me the need break to recharge and combat this scarcity mindset. There is always others avenues out there to choose, whether its opportunities or girls, you must be mindful to take them.
Great article. Spot on. Just for the record it is Malcolm Gladwell who posited the 10,000 hour rule. Cheers
“AHHHHH! SHE WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD!”
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