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How To Enjoy The Benefits Of Kratom While It’s Still Legal

72 Comments

The following article was sponsored by Island Lion Herbals

At this point, Kratom has become the butt of jokes in the comments section here at ROK. I can’t lie, some of them are pretty funny. Much ink has been spilled here on ROK, by me and others, touting the many benefits and uses for the Indonesian wonder-plant. Fortunately, (or perhaps unfortunately) this may be the last Kratom post on Return Of Kings for the foreseeable future.

By now, you all know that Kratom is to be classified on the DEA’s Schedule I list, effectively banning it in the USA for a minimum of two years. This ban begins formally September 30, 2016; after that, it will be, legally speaking, no different than cocaine, heroin, marijuana, and mushrooms.

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That’s right—much like cannabis has been classified as “having no medicinal value” (even though the US govt. owns a patent for its medicinal value), kratom is now officially scheduled to be considered a medically worthless drug in the USA.

We can debate endlessly the effectiveness (or lack thereof) of kratom, different techniques for how it is used, and different facets of your life that it can improve.

The fact remains that within this community and the ROK readership, kratom has helped countless people with a myriad of different issues, from muscle soreness to depression to anxiety to insomnia. Looking past all of the jokers and comedians who poke fun at the nearly endless stream of kratom posts here, there are plenty of you for whom kratom has been nothing less than a godsend, and for whom this ban will causes a destavating reduction in quality-of-life.

Now is the time, while you still have the chance, to stock up on kratom and use it while it is still legal and you need not search for it on the black market. Some kratom stores online are going out of business completely; some are merely shifting their business model.

Island Lion Herbals will continue to sell kratom through September 30, 2016, at which point we will remain open for business but will be shifting our focus to other natural herbs and alternative medicines in our product line. In addition to the Phenibut we already sell, we will be adding Kava, CBD products, and other herbs to our product line.

Here is your chance. If you have never tried kratom, but wanted to check it out, you can do so inexpensively. If you are already a long time fan, you can buy large amounts at unprecedently low prices.

As a special discount for Return Of Kings readers, we are currently offering a 50% discount on all kratom products. Simply visit Island Lion Herbals at https://islandlionherbals.com and use coupon code ROK50 for 50% off through September 30,2016.

Stock up now, we are blowing out our entire stock and when it’s gone, it’s gone for good. We won’t be restocking any kratom products ever again, and it will be nearly impossible to find any kratom at all in the US after September.

Thanks for everything, and we appreciate your continued support through these trying times.

Advertise Your Product Or Site On Return Of Kings

72 thoughts on “How To Enjoy The Benefits Of Kratom While It’s Still Legal”

        1. *Flips table* not excuses m8, you don’t get the first Kratom comment after posting the article. The Kratom lords will remember you in the Kratomlife.

        4. It’s so easy to point fingers. I sacrificed myself to the kratom gods and now you’re pinning the Hitler mustache on me. Fair-weather friends in a foul world. I will come back in the next life as a 1000-foot kratom tree and blot the sun from your garden of daffodils, this I swear…

        6. Kratom is ah-MAYYYYY-zing, like, so amazing. Like, I literally can’t even tell you. But not as amazing as Hitler.

        2. An acquaintance of mine, who is a kratomic physicist, has informed me that the overaccumulation of anti-kratom usually results in blonde women spreading their legs for dark-skinned males (i.e., dark matter), while lighter-skinned male users who accumulate too many kratomic particles do wild things like digging up the remains of Bettie Page, and skull-fucking her, while dressed up in a Hitler uniform and barking like a seal. But he’s a liberal, so…

        3. digging up the remains of Bettie Page, and skull-fucking her, while dressed up in a Hitler uniform and barking like a seal
          I trust it’s merely a coincidence that this is also the theme for this years Halloween party?

        6. I currently make approximately $6,000-$8,000 /a month working on the internet. Those who are prepared to finish simple computer-based task for 2h-5h /day from your living room and make good benefit in the same time… Test this task http://2.gp/G8zm
          fsf

      1. They’re understaffed. They’d like to pass more oppressive laws, but there isn’t enough government funding for new hires…it’s not like money grows on kratom trees.

      2. Exactly. I’ve lost two close family members to cancer (both lifelong smokers). But I can rest at night knowing our caring government is sparing us from the (documented???) evils of kratom instead.

        1. I’m no fan of pot, but I don’t see it being any more dangerous than alcohol or smoking. It seems the US government has some strange criteria for determining what substances to legalize/ban.

        2. They’re only banning it in an effort to prevent Kratom and Chuck Norris from teaming up. That would be…………

        6. That’s it – I’m euthanizing myself so liberals can have more space in which to aerate their brilliant minds…

        7. I dunno, weed now a days is strong as well. Would be more concerned with the mental health effects.

    1. Well to be fair if they did ban skanky vaginas, that a least would have some merit as performing a service for the public’s health.

  5. There’s not Kratom when she’s gone,
    (((Strums guitar)))
    It’s not cool with DEA,
    And electrolytes just take took long,
    Phenibut just ain’t the same!,
    I just crave that Kratorade!

  8. So which one should I buy? I see like 20 different kratom products. New to this kratom stuff.

    1. Kratom has a half-life like Uranium. It’ll hang around long after the Kratomic Bomb is dropped.

  13. Kratom is literally (Hitler) the greatest thing ever, it keeps my pipes flowing freely and controls crabgrass up to three months along with the side benefits of making lawn darts harmless.

  14. Kratom got banned because it was linked to explosion of slut behavior among teenage mormon girlies.

  15. It must be the Zionist Conspiracy that put Kratom on Schedule I

    1. Spot on. The new SDR World Reserve Currency is going to be backed by Kratom. Rothschilds and the chinese are stock-piling it

  17. Holy crap they already shut the database down. NOOOOOOOOOOO
    EDIT: Got it working, best buy it all now gentlemen, its lagging meaning there are a ton of men looking to stock up

  18. The first line in their description says “Not for human consumption.”
    Am I missing something here?

  19. I wonder if this ban is going to affect Cucknada as well.
    I’ve never tried Kratom before, but this US ban makes me want to give it a go just for the hell of it.

  20. The reason they’re banning it is because it’s obviously some great shit so long as you don’t run out of it. The market incubation/seeding period is up and enough people swear by it and are turned on by it that the DEA, the Judiciary and the prison corp wants a slice of the pie. It’s similar to an opiate but it’s not. It’s like naproxin only with the warm and fuzzy high that a junkie feels when they curl up on the ground behind a dumpster with their fix and all is good. I’ve always said that a small micro amt of kratom can enhance your daily vitamin-energy cocktail. But in high amts, enough to make you blasted high is too much. You can’t subsist on kratom alone but it should be used sparingly, like in a spice bottle and sprinkled on your eggs with hot sauce. Small amts can make food addictive like the Chinese discovered with MSG. It’s really too bad it is now threatened with being criminalized. It really should have been kept a secret, like one of the KFC 11 secret herbs and spices. I could be a quick millionaire if I started a cookie company. There’s no telling what the synergestic addictive properties abound in junk food with the entire page of ingredients listed on the average twinkie. The foodcorp wants the corner on the addictive substances. But I’d make health cookies with organic ingredients, vitamins, fiber, protein powder and a smidge, only a smidge of kratom. Small amts can be benefecial. People who got ass cracking high off of large amounts of kratom put it on the radar of the government and corporate grubbers.
    Guaranteed kratom will still be around but the government will be on top of the illicit distribution, just like crack. There may be kratom wars. Many government honchos and brass use the piss high amounts for what it’s worth. The high amounts are overkill. I keep telling them that. Excuse me . . gotta get off here. The generals want their folgers with kratom now . .

  22. this is the government’s way of telling you to go back to the prescription drugs funding their politician’s pockets

  25. The fact that it was legal was it’s only draw. Now that it’s schedule I the only question is when will they drug test it like the others? Kratom was highly toxic to my liver so I couldn’t use it anyways. Try to find a replacement and you’ll find that pretty much everything else is illegal too. For those of you who don’t have to do random drug tests for your employment then it’s no big deal you can get whatever anyways.

  26. Its no surprise they banned it. In one particular Govt study one test subject got up, said i gotta dip, and coolaided through a CDC exterior wall. That wall was solid concrete and rebar one foot thick. no shit.

  30. “Kratom has become the butt of jokes ” <— He said “butt”… heh heh, heh heh

  31.  The government wants to ban Kratom for the same reason that Feminists want to ban sexbots and foreign marriage. They’re competition. 
     Does Kratom have any nootropic effects? I’ve been curious.

    1. It does for me (White Sumatra strain). It’s like a better version of coffee. Coffee makes me feel nervous or anxious and feels very edgy. Kratom on the other hand has all of the good (and more) and none of the bad..
      Other strains I’ve tried give me too much of a (sedative) high to be nootropic though (several green and red ones)

  33. First they came for cannabis…
    But I wasn’t a cannabis user, so I didn’t speak up.
    Next, they came for the coca plant and opium poppy… but I didn’t use either of those, so I didn’t speak up.
    Then they came for mushrooms, peyote, ibogaine, LSD, and MDMA…
    But none of that mattered to me, so I didn’t speak up.
    When they finally came for kratom…

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